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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Make no bones about this - Men have osteoporosis tooOsteoporosis is a condition in which the bones of the body lose their strength gradually and become thin and brittle. This is most commonly seen in women who have attained menopause. The reason being the decrease in the hormonal levels, particularly estrogen. Studies reveal that 20% of sufferers are men. Falling levels of testosterone are one of the causes for men developing brittle bones. Men's bodies convert some amount of testosterone into estrogen, which is very essential in maintaining the bone mass. Genetic deficiency of the enzyme that helps the conversion of testosterone to estrogen also is a major factor for men developing osteoporosis. Calcium and vitamin D play an important role in developing the bone mass and in helping the bone grow. Exercising helps too. When you exercise, the muscle gets pulled and the bone responds by growing. Too much of indoors and sedentary work may make men get the less of all three and it eventually leads to weak bones and osteoporosis. Studies reveal that 20% of sufferers of osteoporosis are men. Certain medications like anti-seizure drugs, drugs for prostate cancer and steroids have side-effects that make it impossible for the body to use vitamin D. Using them for a long time reduces the bone mass density and leaves the bones brittle making them easily prone to fractures. Smoking is a vice that has to be quit for more reasons than one. An analysis of several major studies on the effects of smoking shows that smokers have a 55% higher risk of hip fractures and low bone mineral density than non-smokers. Nicotine has also shown to have a direct effect on bone cells. A long list of medical conditions like diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, and digestive and blood disorders can take a toll on your bones. Long term medications for the same also have side-effects on the bones. How to prevent osteoporosis? Exercise- As young boys, men have usually been exposed to a lot of bone building exercises through sports. This helps in building up on the bone strength and comes in handy in the later years. A brisk walk for 30 minutes 5 times a week and moderate impact exercises help in maintain the bone mass and reduce the thinning of bones. Calcium intake- The daily calcium needs for men is the same as women. Hence, the dietary recommendations remain the same too. 1,000 mg of calcium a day from ages 19 to 50 and 1200 mg of calcium a day if you're over 50.Along with this, make sure you get the required dose of vitamin D too, so that the calcium you eat is absorbed properly. The standard recommended dietary allowance is 400 IU. Some doctors advise to increase the intake to 800 IU. Regular medical checkups will help you to know beforehand about the risk factors and the necessary precautions you will need to take.Osteoporosis in men is as much a reality as in women. However, there are ways to avoid it too. Awareness about the condition and about the ways to prevent it can help keep osteoporosis at bay. Bone mass matters. It could mean the difference between a hip fracture later in life - or keeping an active, high-energy lifestyle.
Mother can pass stress patterns to childThe stress patterns in the mother have shown to affect the mental development of children and have been found to play a role in autism and even schizophrenia. "Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche." - Andrew Denton There are several studies conducted in this area of research. The results are varied and present a set of multiple issues that children can face if their mothers have been under stress when they were in the womb. In later years, these babies grow into children who have a weak mental state. They cry easily, pick the escape route in conflicts and difficult situations, are anxiety prone and may get easily bullied in social environments. Their social adjustment gets hampered due to emotional weakness. These children are not good at handling weak moments and end up being rubbed off the wrong way, time and again. It pushes them into a vicious cycle. The incapability to tackle socially stressful situations further scares them. They get bullied and become even more vulnerable. What to do? The approach is twofold. Curb the problem in the beginning. Yes, it is natural to be stressed. Pregnancy can be tough, physically as well as mentally. With the modern life, the stressors have increased and there is always so much to do in such little time. Relationships, work, food, health, hormones - there is ample to trouble you. Find a release for the tensions. The one growing inside you needs you to be happy and healthy. Do things that make you happy, keep your happiness at the top priority. Everyone around you needs to understand that. Reader, if you are the husband, parent, sibling or friend of a pregnant lady - support her, understand her and do all you can to make her smile. Do not be the one who reprimands if she is worried, be the one who takes away her worries. Pave way for a baby who is happy and ready to start a new life. Second, do what you can at the given time. The child is already here and is facing emotional adjustment issues - extend your support to him/her. Give the kid the ground to grow strong roots and stand tall, without being disturbed easily by gushes of the wind. While it is difficult to avoid stress, you can always try to handle it better, for the sake of your child.Soon-to-be mothers who go through stressful situations may be passing on the stress patterns to their babies.
Making babies, the best way!Some couples get pregnant easily. But many couples have to wait months before the baby is conceived. There are several factors that affect conception right from fertility to the position during intercourse. Some believe that positions have nothing to do with conceiving a child. This is not true. Some positions are ideal to help the sperm meet the ovum. Let's see what some of these positions are. Missionary position:The best position for getting pregnant fast is the missionary position.Here the man is lying on top of the woman allowing for the deepest possible penetration, making it possible for the sperm to get deposited closest to the cervix. It is also the most common and comfortable position preferred by couples. Raise your hips high: Your hips have a lot to do in helping you get pregnant. Raise your hips high during sex by placing a pillow below you. This helps to expose the female cervix to as much semen as the male can release. Doggy position: Considered to be the most erotic and pleasurable position,this rear-entry position where the man enters the woman from behind is also recommended for increasing the chances of getting pregnant. In this position too, the sperm is deposited closest to the cervix, thereby increasing the chances of conception. Side-by-side: You can also try having intercourse while lying side by side. This position, likewise, causes the most exposure of the cervix to the male sperm. While these positions certainly improve your chances of getting pregnant, there is no guarantee that you will conceive. The most important thing is to enjoy this special time and have fun with your partner. So keep enjoying and keep trying!
Pediatric diet formula food vs traditional foodAccording to the World Health Organisation, it is unnecessary to give your baby rice cereals at the age of four months as breast milk can provide all the nourishment a baby needs in the first year. No other solid food is required. Breast milk has all the nutrients like fats, protein, cholesterol, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals which are required in the first year of life. According to most studies,formula foods are not the healthiest option to begin solid foods on. Doctors prefer that babies be given boiled vegetables and mashed fruits like bananas and not formula cereals that contain simple carbohydrates. It is not a good idea to give babies processed and refined foods that are found in all formula foods. Formula foods do have nutrients, but they are not as easy to absorb as nutrients from foods prepared at home. You can also ensure quality in food that is prepared at home. Formula foods cannot imitate the natural taste of foods. Babies like to choose foods according to taste just like the adults and you can give them a wide variety of choices like offering them different fruits and vegetables rather than the similar tasting formula. You will be surprised to know that mother's milk has the taste of the foods she eats and so babies develop taste for a variety and may like the insipid taste of formula. Another reason why formula foods may not work that well is that they contain cereals. However, the enzymes that are required to digest carbohydrates are not fully developed in babies until they are more almost three years old. Cereals and breads are very difficult for babies to digest. Undigested grains can throw off the balance of bacteria in the gut and this is the reason for a lot of digestive issues once they are grown up. Solids should not be introduced until six months of age, as studies now reveal that if solid foods are given early on then it increases the likelihood of allergies, especially of those foods introduced. Babies produce only few enzymes and digestive juices that are mainly required to digest protein and fats. This is because mother's milk has 50 to 60% healthy fat which is a must for the babies' mental and physical growth. Most baby infant nutritionists feel that formula feed is not a complete food. Babies will get deficiency,such as iron, as it is difficult to absorb them from formula foods. The debate continues as many feel that the marketing gimmicks are what selling these foods and not the nutritional value they provide to babies. A note of caution, excessive amount of juices are harmful for babies as these can lead to obesity.
Tips and tricks to deal with my toddler's tantrumsWhen your child is having a tantrum, it may usually be for something that it wants and cannot have. Throwing a tantrum is a child's way of getting what it wants. Conversely, giving in to the child's demands may be the easy way out for the parents too. But always remember that giving in is not right. The child may get habituated to this and it may prove quite a nuisance to you too. Learn to say no, gently but firmly. Giving an acceptable reason for your 'no' and also an option at the same time works wonders. All said and done, children are not that easy to handle. If your child doesn't fall in line and is adamant, let it pass the phase. Screaming out the rage, throwing away things may help the child. When the anger subsides, looking at the destruction and the obvious uselessness of it may help the child realize his efforts were futile. But be careful that the child doesn't get physically hurt in this process. For some kids, a gentle hug helps soothe the anger pent up. Tantrums in public places can be extremely embarrassing. In such situations, do not argue or scold your child or order him to hush up. It will only end up making the child more adamant. Wait till the storm subsides. Take him out to a quieter place and talk gently but firmly. One thing to remember here is to never let the child know of your embarrassment and concern that you are in a public place. Children are very smart and may end up using this to work things in their favour. It is not easy being a toddler and it is definitely not easy being a toddler's parent either. By the time your toddler is old enough to go school he will have overcome this stage.  
Not very chummy! Menophobia - The fear of periodsMenstruation or periods begin as female reaches puberty. This is the time when there are hormonal changes which occur in the body as nature takes the girl and makes her ready for womanhood. The onset of periods can be distressful with lots of mood swings accompanied by abdominal cramps, bloated feet as the menstrual blood flows. This is also a time when the girl needs to be comforted and educated the most, as it can be truly a terrifying experience. Normally mothers or elder women in the family ensure that they take complete care of the girl in this transition phase. For some women, their initial experience with periods may not have been particularly pleasant, causing them to actually dread those 4 days and this fear can then take the shape of a full blown phobia -Menophobia! The reason could vary. For some the pain factor could be the reason for menophobia, while for others, it could be the memory of embarrassing red stains on the clothes which could set it off. In menophobia, just before the onset of the periods, the person starts getting anticipatory anxiety and the pain which could be normal period pain, is then imagined to be ten times worse. This brings on panic attacks and feeling of utter dread which while is entirely psychological can be utterly distressful and downright crippling. Counseling can help greatly along with pain medication to manage the pain and the fear of this natural phenomenon called periods. In therapy, this is what is iterated. That menstruation is a completely natural process and if there is a fear of menstrual blood then gradually, the woman is encouraged to accept it as a natural body function which plays a major part of her being a woman.
Expression forbidden! - Human emotionsSome people have a perpetual 'bee in their bonnets'! They maintain a demeanor and a mask which is virtually impenetrable. They are generally highly competent and efficient and occupy high positions of authority. They believe in living life set to a routine, and the worst part is that they expect others to adhere to it as well! God help those who have a boss like that, as their immediate liberty is at stake, and unless they are honing to be perfectionists, life is going to be a series of disasters with Captain Ice around! Nothing wrong with perfectionism per se, but when someone is a hard task master then he could well earn himself the epithet of being "a crashing bore," especially if he doesn't allow others to express themselves properly. Take a more intimate scenario - Mr. Bright Harry meets tepid Sally. The sparks fly only on Harry's side with Sally stonewalling his every effort to get to know her mind, body, and soul. A tough ask for poor Harry, as he is yet to touch first base with Sally. Know what? They have been married 5 years and she seems to be fond of him, yet has never as much admitted it to him. Quite frankly, the two could pass off for siblings rather than 'man and wife.' Why are some people such rotten spoilsports, especially where emotions are concerned?  It may well be a natural mindset for some to have an emotional guard up and emote, or have an emotional connect only with certain types of people. Fair enough and good show, we say! After all one can't be wearing one's emotions on a sleeve or you end up been taken advantage of. That's a mask that most 'tough guys with soft centre' wear anyway. Nowadays with the rules being somewhat relaxed with men been given liberty and allowances to display their gentler feminine emotional side, we find men going over the top with the sheer display of emotional expression. One is at sea wondering which one was worse off-the tough, cynical cop look or the "let me weep my heart out for you" kind of contrived emotion. That apart, it is bad enough for us having to contend with a person who has difficulty with expressing himself properly. We don't mean articulation or even well-developed linguistic ability - we mean being able to be spontaneous and congenial and a little forthcoming and nice to be with sort of an emotional person. So, unless someone has a romantic angle towards this guy (there are weirdoes all over the world, who go asking for it!) or girl, he is going to be feared, hated, despised, unloved, and uninvited by everybody. So why do people behave like they are going to be flogged for even attempting a ghost of a smile or a cheerful greeting to a fellow co-worker? Why do some people find it difficult even to open up on a psychiatrist's couch? The Mask The most common reason for Mr. or Ms. Grumpy is that they have probably been emotionally brutalized in their formative years by an authoritative parent and this has caused them to lock themselves up double quick in a shell and throw away the key. Now, that can be tough and extremely painful. It is a prison of their own making through which nobody can see that once bright-n-chirpy personality frozen, much like the curse of the wicked witch in those fairy tales we read. The person is dying to let his emotions out and let people see who he is, but since very little light escapes out due to the tough mask and veneer, that it is an uphill task. Then the sheer anger at not being understood, subconsciously plays havoc and then he gets to be the more demanding boss at work or that sullen wife or lone stranger staring in to nothingness on the park bench. These are the people that have a series of relationship disasters as their defence mechanisms are too solid to be penetrated. Some people may be naturally distant, and for them the finer and higher emotions probably don't register as much as they do in the average person. These guys are cut out for careers ranging from lighthouse keepers to morgue attendants to hangmen, where being emotional has no place. There are still others who swing the other extreme by showing so much of emotion that it is scary for others to take them on. Their emotional side is so overwhelming and demanding that it is actually a clever subterfuge on their part to drive people away as they subconsciously do not want people to get to know their real side. They generally don a mask of humor and good cheer and are great fun to be with. In reality, they are alone and scared and perhaps hurt emotionally. So, they feel safe to display emotions to masses rather than individuals. These people make good evangelists and rock stars as they can safely display and get an emotional discharge without running the risk of a one-on-one emotional exchange where they are afraid they would be hurt. If you encounter such a person who looks askance at you displaying your emotions, then it is better for you to talk things out and maybe put things in perspective. Of course, this all depends on whether you are emotional enough to maybe give someone a chance by understanding what drives them to do the things they do. Let me assure you the ice will thaw if the intention is genuine and well meant.
When the grey matters!Greying of hair happens to all of us at some point in life. Some may get it early and other fortunate ones may get it when they are 50. Premature greying and hair fall is a common problem faced by 70% of females in India these days. What are the causes of greying of hair and what can be done if your hair starts to go grey early? What are the probable causes of grey hair and hair fall? Deficiency of nutrients in diet. Excessive stress. Dandruff. Diseases like thyroid disorders, anemia, and vitiligo. Side effects of certain medication. Hair problems are seen more in women who smoke or drink. Childbirth and menopause are the periods of life when most of the women invariably have hair loss. Hereditary pattern of premature greying. Today's beauty procedures like coloring, bleaching, dyeing, perming, and straightening cause hair problems at a young age. Environmental pollution. Treatment and prevention Have a balanced diet. Ensure proper nutrients reach your body in every meal. If you are anemic, treat it with proper medication. This can be an underlying cause. Have a good sleep. Avoid tension and stress. Apply oil regularly and massage. Drink lots of water. Avoid exposure to chemicals. What can be done to hide the grey hair? Apply amla oil to your hair to make it healthy. Apply henna, lemon juice, fenugreek seeds paste, made in an iron container, on your hair to give them a color and reduce greying. Boil gooseberry pieces in coconut oil. When they turn black apply it on the hair. If you have 45-50% grey hair then you can use a permanent hair color.
Beating the weight loss plateauThere comes a stage when you stop losing any weight in spite of strict exercise and diet regimen. This is called as weight loss plateau. When calorie intake is reduced along with exercise, the energy required is obtained from stored fat which eventually leads to weight loss. This rate of weight loss slows down and eventually stops once body reaches its set point of metabolism. This set point varies from person to person. So what can you do next? Here are some easy ways to get the weighing scale budging: Modify diet pattern: Metabolism slows down with lowering calorie intake. To reset metabolism, you need to have an adequate amount of calories. This can be done by including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and proteins in diet. More energy is needed to burn proteins than carbohydrates or fats. Eat within half an hour or hour after exercising. Add proteins and carbohydrates to diet. Sip water: Increase total water intake in a day. Drink water before, during and after exercise and throughout the day. Change the workout: Change the exercises you do daily. Muscles get accustomed to a routine workout. Switching exercises and continually challenging helps burn more fat and build lean tissue. Change the type and time or duration of exercise. Try cycling instead of running if you have been doing it for long. Running, swimming, dancing, and Pilates too are good options. Skipping and brisk walking help in burning calories too and break the plateau. In the gym, change the exercise or number of repetitions. If you have been working on machines for long, try weight training or floor exercises. Take rest: Adequate rest is essential for the body to rejuvenate. Muscles, tendons, and ligaments get slight internal and external injuries which can be healed by rest. Proper rest helps repair and regenerate the tissue and makes them strong. Make these changes and get the needle on that weighing scale to budge.
Aids defining cancersIn fact the presence of such aids defining cancers is an indication of advanced AIDS having developed in these patients. However, the reasons for these cancers are unclear. It is possible that since people with AIDS have low immunity, they become more susceptible to these cancers. The double attack of these already complex diseases complicates treatment plans too. Thus, it needs care under experienced doctors who specialize in these diseases. The cancers that define AIDS are: Kaposi's Sarcoma:This is a type of skin cancer. It was usually found usually in people who have received organ transplants. Nowadays it is also most prevalent in homosexual men with HIV/AIDS and is also called epidemic Kaposi's Sarcoma.  It causes lesions to show up in multiple points in the body such as skin, lymph nodes, liver, lungs, spleen and digestive tract. Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma:This is the second most commonly associated cancer with HIV/AIDS. The various sub types of NHL are primary central nervous system lymphoma and primary effusion lymphoma. Approximately 4-10% people with HIV/AIDS develop NHL. Other kinds of cancers are anal cancer, liver cancer, mouth cancer, Hodgkin's lymphoma, testicular cancer, melanoma, throat cancer, colorectal cancer and multiple skin cancers.  Treating Cancer in HIV people: Till anti-HIV medication were not discovered the future for infected people was bleak. They were already sick and their bodies weak even before their cancer treatment were started. Presently the cancer treatment is mixed with anti-HIV drugs. However, depending upon the extent of cancer and the need of AIDS care, variations are made between chemotherapy and other HIV related drugs needed. Treating Kaposi's Sarcoma: Often anti-HIV drugs are enough to treat this cancer. The lesions, which are viral, shrink, as the immune system gets better. Sometimes chemotherapy and radiation may also be needed if the lesions are internal. Treating Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma: AIDS related NHL is fast growing and needs intense chemotherapy treatment. Introduction of highly active anti-retroviral therapy and use of drugs that help the infected body make new blood cells has relieved a major concern for HIV patients where previously due to their low blood cell count, chemotherapy could not be administered to them. But with these advances, acutely monitored chemotherapy treatments can be administered now. Treating Cervical Cancer: In case of women who have a good immune system and invasive cervical cancer can still be treated similarly as non-HIV women. They can even do well in surgeries and other conventional treatments. Discovering Cancer Early: Screening helps discover presence of cancer when no symptoms are evident. However AIDS defining cancers cannot be detected through screening. Thus, close monitoring, regular checkups and a keen lookout for symptoms of these cancers can help discover the ailment if present. Pap tests help discover cervical cancer in women. However, in case of HIV women, these should be undertaken more often. Even as often as 2 tests a year, 6 months apart in the first year of HIV detection. If the tests are clear, they should get Pap tests done regularly once a year henceforth. For other AIDS related cancers, the screening tests are still being devised. Lowering Cancer Risk: HIV ruins the body's immune system making it susceptible to a variety of diseases. Good health practices are a must for those detected with HIV in order to ward off cancer. They should surely not smoke or consume alcohol. Injection drugs and unsafe sexual practices also pose increased threat of cancer. Maintaining balanced diets, physical activity and proper body weight are extremely important and helpful too.
Bile block - Understanding gallbladder problemsRavi was a young intern working the night shifts in a government hospital when he was asked to examine a patient who had just been brought in. The patient was a 45-year-old, a fat man, who was complaining of pain in the right side of the abdomen along with nausea and vomiting. On inquiry it was revealed that he had eaten a very heavy fat-laden dinner. Remembering what his surgery professor had taught him about cholelithiaisis, Ravi immediately guessed what the diagnosis could be. He, however, sent the patient for a blood test and an abdominal scan. The reports confirmed Ravi’s suspicions- cholelithiasis, gallstones. The gallbladder is a tiny pear shaped organ that lies just below the liver. It is responsible for storing the bile that is produced by the liver for digesting food. It ensures the smooth outflow of the bile from the bile ducts. When the bile components aggregate in the gallbladder, they build up to form gallstones, similar to kidney stones. The gallstones are usually small enough to pass on to the intestines and be eliminated without causing too much trouble. At times, these stones may be big enough to block the outflow of the bile and give rise to a variety of symptoms depending on the size of the stone and severity of the block. The symptoms include -  Intermittent colic. A bloated sensation with constant nausea. Inability to tolerate fats. Vomiting.  Fever with chills if the stone becomes infected. Gall stones though found in both sexes, is more common in females. The risk factors for developing gallstones include - Diabetes. Organ transplant. Diseases like hemolytic anemia, sickle cell anemia. Liver cirrhosis. Failure of the gallbladder to empty properly, e.g., during pregnancy. Rapid weight and nutrition loss due to any reason. Gallstones are confirmed by a blood test to check the liver function and by an abdominal scan. Medications to dissolve the stones, and surgery in case of large stones that do not dissolve with medications, are the treatment options.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
The link between oral sex and cancerSymptoms of oral cancer: The common symptoms of oral cancer include: Red and white spots on the tongue or the lining of the mouth, inflammation of the mouth which continues well over two weeks, mouth ulcers which take over three weeks to heal, discomfort and pain during swallowing food, and lastly, sensation that something is stuck in the throat. HPV types and their nature: There are over 100 different types of HPV. Out of these, 15 have been found to cause cancer. These 15 types of HPV are called high-risk HPV. The HPV types which are found in the mouth are sexually communicable and the primary means for its transference is considered to be oral sex. It could also be carried through anal and vaginal sex, causing laryngeal cancer, anal cancer, cervical cancer, tonsil cancer, vulval and vaginal cancer, and penile cancer. Some of the HPV types get passed through skin contact. These cause warts, especially in the genital region. These types of HPV which cause the warts are less likely to escalate and cause cancer. Though there is no determinate answer as to how common the HPV mouth infection is. Advanced studies during the 21st century have put forward the role of HPV16 in new types of cancer. This was done using DNA testing. Through a medical study, it was found that the most vulnerable groups are: People in the age group of 30 to 34 and 60 to 64 years old. People who have had over 20 sexual partners in their lifetime, around 20% suffer from HPV oral infection HPV leads to cancer?: HPV does not directly cause cancer. It stimulates modifications in the cells which it has infected, like those in the mouth or cervix and due to the modifications the cell becomes cancerous. In only 10% of the cases where the patient suffers from HPV infection does cancer develop. The infection generally treats itself and is removed naturally within 2 years by the body. The chances of progression of the HPV infection into cancer is increased by smoking and drinking. Smoking injures the immune surveillance cells. Due to this injury, they are not able to fight the virus and the virus continues to persist over 2 years, leading to cancer. Vaccinations: In the United Kingdom, girls (aged 12 and 13 years old) are vaccinated against HPV. This vaccination protects the women against cervical, vulval, and vaginal cancers. Men and boys also take vaccinations against HPV, though it is not pursued as strongly as in the case of women. This leaves men who have sex with other men at a greater risk of getting oral and anal cancer. Even though the link between oral sex and cancer is not completely proven, what we do know is that oral sex causes many other infections like gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, and chlamydia. Did you know that a very low percentage of people (only 10%) who are infected with HPV virus develop cancer? In 90% of the cases, the infection is naturally cleared by the body within two years. The natural process is, however, obstructed in those who smoke and drink.    
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