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Too much of these can be detrimental to healthModeration is the mantra for everything in life. There are a lot of things in our daily life that we do. Excess of these can be detrimental for your health. Let's see how: Television, Laptop, Mobile: That screen is torture for your eyes. Looking at the TV/ laptop/ mobile screen for too long can cause dryness of the eyes. It also makes the mind dull and inactive. Even though you have not done anything much, you feel tired. It is also unhealthy for your social and personal life. Gadgets are meant to add convenience to your life, and not alienate you from real people. These also lead to sedentary lifestyle which further triggers obesity, hypertension, diabetes and other chronic ailments. Travelling: Many of us travel for work, for education. Frequent meetings are a part of work life. Some like to holiday a lot. But too much traveling upsets routine for the body. It changes schedules too often, adds new stressors to an ordinary day. Food options also get limited and sleeping patterns are influenced. If your job demands excessive travel, make sure you consciously put an effort to choose a healthy lifestyle when away from home. Worrying: Worry is unavoidable. Think of a day you did not worry about anything, isn't it difficult? Normal stress is a part of life, but if you are worrying too much, you are weakening your immune system in more ways than one. It makes you weak, susceptible to infections, prone to lifestyle diseases, and also affects your social life and relationships. Vitamin supplements: Supplements are not your daily diet. Have them in moderation and with due consultation from a doctor. Some vitamins get stored in the body when taken in excess quantities. This can result in condition called as hypervitaminosis and various health problems. Exercise: Body is not a mechanical machine that can keep functioning at the click of a switch. Even a machine needs oiling and repairs. If you love to exercise, that's great. But don't do it all day. Too much physical exercise is strain on the body. It can lead to muscle exhaustion, weakness, breakdown and may even damage the kidneys. Sleeping: Sleeping is the rest the body needs but too much of rest means rusting. Oversleeping makes you dull and may even trigger your migraines. It annoys the body clock and may create metabolic disturbances Social Networking: This is not good for your mental health. Those two hundred friends who like and comment are not your world; the one whom you call when you want to cry is your friend. Posting images and sharing updates on social media is fine, but it is more important to talk to those who live with you, who are physically around. Many peer pressures and image issues also arise from excessive social networking and people may tend to live in a 'make believe' world.
Menopause and mental health!Menopause is the period in a woman's life when her man claims she is going crazy. It is also the time when her period is on the decline and hormones are in complete disarray. Depression, insomnia, irritability, mood swings and lack of concentration are few symptoms that the lady has to battle with. These symptoms may begin as early as 4 years before the actual menopause and may continue for several years after that! For women, menopause is a significant turning point in their lives. The dropping levels of oestrogen and the resultant physical and mental symptoms can be like a cycle of events, only adding to their woes! Depression: Depression affects every middle-aged woman. An estimated 20% of women have depression at some point during menopause. The peak period for depression is during the perimenopausal years, when the woman is approaching menopause. The reason for this, say experts, is the fact that most women dread menopause. Even though for some it means an end to years of menstrual cramps, for most others it signifies an end to their womanhood. The very idea is sufficient enough to bring on lots of negative thoughts and depression. Not only this, the reason for depression during perimenopausal and menopausal age is the fluctuating hormones. Research shows that the levels of reproductive hormones, specifically oestrogen are responsible for the mental changes. Changes in the sleep pattern: Insomnia is seen in 40 to 50% of women in the menopausal transition phase. Women who spend sleepless nights are more likely than others to show irritability, crankiness, stress and depressive symptoms. Sleep disturbances during menopause have been linked to the decreasing oestrogen levels. Indeed this claim can be held true as several women respond positively to exogenous hormone therapy. One study claims that sleep changes are linked to the Luteinizing Hormone levels, which also results in increased body temperature. Sleep apnea too occurs in the menopausal transition age. This is due to decreased progesterone level, as progesterone plays an important role in respiration. The weight gain that happens during menopause has also been shown to cause sleep apnea. Panic disorder: Panic disorder is commonly seen during the perimenopause stage. Existing disorder may worsen or new disorder may arise. Panic disorder is usually manifested in women who show several physical symptoms of menopause. The panic attacks are usually associated with negative life events, pre-existing medical diseases and decreased daily functionality. Obsessive compulsive disorder: New onset of OCD, worsening of the existing condition or change in the pattern of symptoms is seen during menopause. OCD changes are also observed during pregnancy and during the menstrual changes, suggesting the impact of hormones on symptoms of OCD. Bipolar disorder: Women with bipolar disorder experience an exacerbation of symptoms during the perimenopausal stage. These women are also the ones that are highly likely to experience severe depression in the menopausal phase. Schizophrenia: Schizophrenia usually manifests itself in young adulthood. The rate of new cases decreases gradually thereafter, in both men and women. In women, however, there is a second peak in the 45-50 years age group. This peak is not observed in men. This suggests that oestrogen may play a significant role in triggering schizophrenia or worsening the pre-existing condition.
Hairy tale: Hirsutism in womenThe condition is called Hirsutism where women grow coarse hair just like males on the face, chest or elsewhere. The primary cause for Hirsutism is hormonal imbalances by the over stimulation or excess production of male hormones (present in minute quantities in females too). The thickness of hair that grows largely depends on our genes and at times Hirsutism in women may be just a hereditary trait rather than an imbalance. Self care and medication can take of it in such a case. Idiopathic Hirsutism is a type of this condition where there is no possible cause for the male type hair growth. These women have regular menstrual cycles and no Androgen excesses, yet they have Hisrutism. Hirsutism with excessive bodily and facial hair, usually in a male pattern, in women may be present in normal adults as an expression of an ethnic characteristic or may develop in children or adults as the result of androgen excess due to tumors, or of non-androgenetic or other drugs. Hirsutism can make its appearance at menopause or soon after as there are a lot of hormonal changes that occur in the female body, and in certain cases women grow hair even on the lip, nipples, abdomen and upper shoulders. And just as men go bald there can also be a receding hairline and baldness in women accompanied by a deepening of the voice and enlargement of the clitoris. If the hair growth occurs at puberty then a doctor's evaluation is most essential as it could be more than just Hirsutism.
Bonding with the babyIt is an immense pleasure to hold a baby in your arms, isn't it? The bonding between amotherand her baby starts within the womb itself. When the baby is born, a few parents bond with the baby within minutes. But for others this may take some time. If the baby is taking time to respond to your affections, don't worry, here are some tips to help you with the bonding. Babies respond to the mother by making sounds, grasping, smiling, or crying. Touching, holding, kissing, cuddling, talking and singing help build a bond with your child. Infants prefer a human face to any other stimuli. So face your child as much as possible. The attention span of a new born baby is quite short. Hang a colorful object on top of the pram, cradle,or cot. Your baby already likes toys of different shapes. Various reflexes develop by the fourth week after birth. These include sucking, grasping, searching for the nipple and blinking. Baby may gaze at you some time. Respond by nodding, smiling, and talking to the baby. Babies are sensitive to their surroundings. They respond to music or the phone ringing by staring at it quietly. They observe toys keenly, spot colours and become happy at times. These are heart warming moments for the parents. Father's care usually builds a protective and secured feeling in a child which he carries for life and prevents building of any unreal fears in him in later life. So dads should care for and make their babies feel secure. You love to touch your bundle of joy, right? Babies love, enjoy, and need it as well. Skin-to-skin touch helps growth and development of the child. Mom's touch soothes the baby when he is irritated. Start reading to your child. It is never too early. It helps the development of reading skills and language. Babies enjoy pictures in the book. Even if baby can't understand words, they love to hear the parents' voices. During the first few months, they understand little of it, but they are thrilled by listening to you. Have a short reading session with your child daily.Dads can try this trick to make the baby sleep. Carry her around while patting her very gently on back.
A baby - proofed guide to childcareCaring for kids is an important task. Everyone wishes to nourish kids in a loving and caring yet protective atmosphere. Initial stages of development call for more care and attention. Health, hygiene and safety at home and outside are important when it comes to kids. Here are a few helpful tips to all the parents: Nurture your infants with massage. Learn a right way or get it done from a professional. It is a great therapy to make muscles strong and bond with the baby. Prolonged crying bothers parents a lot. Usually continuous crying for long hours is suggestive of colic or stomach ache. It is the most common problem in kids, the reason being immature gastric system. Do not panic. Keep medicines at hand and give them as per instructions by your kid's doctor. Toddlers often insist on being carried even when they know how to walk well. Make sure to hold them comfortably. Diapering a baby is a skill that must be mastered especially when the baby is fidgety. Holding baby in right position flat on the back simplifies the task. Parents adapt to doing the job effortlessly with practice. Transition period of swapping from breastfeed to bottle known as weaning is a tough task for most of the babies. Consider gentle weaning strategies advised by the doctors. Do not be abrupt. Go slow! Some Safety Tips: Cap and lock the medicines, detergents, chemicals etc. in containers keeping them far away from the children. Bathingwater should be always checked before bathing the baby. Do not leave kids alone near water tub or any water source alone. Avoid leaving baby in a highchair to prevent injuries such asbaby climbing out, falling, or sliding. Lock up all the knives, matches, and plastic bags away from children to prevent poisonings, bleeding injuries, burns and suffocation.
Communicate to strengthen the family tiesA family that talks to each other stays together. Sounds easy? But how often does your family sit down together in the week to spend time with each other? How about breakfasts and dinners? Are you all able to match your meal times or are you catching each other by the end of the coats in the fast paced world that has us spinning us on our heels constantly? As the family members run in and out of the house, like in a hotel, engulfed in their daily routines they slowly start drifting away from each other. Somewhere pushed to the depths of the heart are old connections and affections with the family. Ideal conversations during childhood, encouragements received during tough times, sibling squabbles in adolescence and many a wonderful memories tug at the heart keeping the family from disintegrating altogether. On the contrary, improper communication and bottled feelings singe the heart in such circumstances and lead to the tumbling of the family ecosystem. Understanding how to build effective communication within the family is important as it helps build a stronger, inseparable family. Here are some effective practices: Communicate Frequently:With the limited time that you have with your family, make communication a common and frequent activity.  While traveling in the car, during meal times, replace TV time with talking, talk to your young ones at bedtime. Keep designated time for informal family meetings and encourage conversations among the family members. Keep the cell phones and laptops in the other room when the whole family is sitting together. Communicate Clearly and Directly:Develop an environment where the family members feel okay to communicate clearly and directly. Allow them to express their thoughts and feelings without having to mask and filter them. This is important in a parent-child relationship and sibling-sibling relationship. It also helps build confidence, family intimacy and bonding among the family members. On the other hand, veiled, indirect or vague communication is ineffective and harmful as it increases confusion and communication gaps. Active Listening:Open and free communication flows only when it is received well and the other person's perspective is acknowledged and respected. Active listening is the cornerstone of effective communication. Whether listening to your partner or child, it is necessary to pay attention to not just the words but tell-tale signs in the tone of communication and non-verbal messages too. Nodding of the head, or words of acknowledgment like, "I understand" make the other person feel that what they are saying is valued and received. Asking questions and requesting clarifications for the parts of the message you do not understand is a very important part of active listening. Trust and Honesty:Only when the family members feel that they can trust each other, can they communicate honestly. Trust is the key for strong familial relationships. Trust is propagated through openness and honesty. Understanding the Individual:The way each individual of the family feels and communicates is different. The way you communicate with the different family members should vary accordingly. Especially in case of young children, as their maturity levels are different than the young adults and adults in the family. The unspoken messages:Not everything might be said in words. Learning to read non-verbal communication such as expressions and body language are very important in understanding the entire message being conveyed to you or the parts being held back. Stay Positive:Many complications and problems between family members can be avoided or solved by effective communication. When dealing with undesired or negative situations, it is important that the words and tonality of the communication is positive. Avoid engaging in negative communication like criticism, defensiveness or contempt. Such negative communication patterns discourage communication.Communication is essential to successful family functioning. Taking inventory of how well the family is doing and readjusting course and practices will help improve the family environment and build a happy family that shares openly and honestly with each other.
Algophobia: The fear of painAlgophobia is the fear of pain:  an abnormal and consistent feeling that is far beyond what would be considered normal. The term is derived from the Greek words, Algos meaning pain and Phobos meaning fear. Our bodies are designed in a way that when there is a painful stimulus it reacts. How the body reacts to the pain is an individualistic phenomenon. Some people have a very low threshold for pain, and even the slightest pain evokes a huge response in them. Where as others can withstand a good amount of physical pain before their bodies give in. Some people dread even the tiniest amount of pain. They foresee situations that will cause pain in them. The way they react to even the smallest amount of pain is far more than the normal level of acceptance. Such people are said to be suffering from Algophobia. Algophobia is a learned behaviour, say behavioral psychologists. For example you may have heard from several people how hitting your shin on the furniture in the dark is the worst possible pain ever. So you tend to keep a watch and if it is dark, you move around extra-carefully to avoid bumping into the furniture and getting hurt. This would be considered normal, cautious behaviour. But if the same thought keeps buzzing in your head continuously and you go to extreme lengths to avoid that pain, you could be algophobic. Old people are the ones who have excessive fear. The age factor along with fear of death plays a vital role in old people developing this fear. For example an old lady may hear about all the ailments and pains that afflict old age people and may become apprehensive about it. She may develop irrational fears that more often than not, are also imaginary. She may start experiencing the pains even before anything actually happens to her. It may seem unrealistic to a normal person, but for algophobics pain can be a severely dreaded thing. Therefore they will go to great lengths to avoid pain at all levels, including day-to-day activities. They will not go into the dark, handle tools, avoid lifting heavy objects or even avoid playing any type of contact sports. If a task has a scope for injury and pain, they will avoid it! Frequently a pathological complaint of Hyperalgesia occurs along with algophobia. Hyperalgesia is a condition of increased sensitivity to pain due to damage to the peripheral nerves and pain receptors. Pain in such cases may be directly in the damaged tissues or in the surrounding areas. An interesting fact is that hyperalgesia can occur due to long term use of painkillers especially strong ones like opium and its derivatives. Algophobia is treated with behavioural therapy, psychotherapy and anti-anxiety medications. Hypnotherapy also has shown beneficial effects.  
Beating the weight loss plateauThere comes a stage when you stop losing any weight in spite of strict exercise and diet regimen. This is called as weight loss plateau. When calorie intake is reduced along with exercise, the energy required is obtained from stored fat which eventually leads to weight loss. This rate of weight loss slows down and eventually stops once body reaches its set point of metabolism. This set point varies from person to person. So what can you do next? Here are some easy ways to get the weighing scale budging: Modify diet pattern: Metabolism slows down with lowering calorie intake. To reset metabolism, you need to have an adequate amount of calories. This can be done by including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and proteins in diet. More energy is needed to burn proteins than carbohydrates or fats. Eat within half an hour or hour after exercising. Add proteins and carbohydrates to diet. Sip water: Increase total water intake in a day. Drink water before, during and after exercise and throughout the day. Change the workout: Change the exercises you do daily. Muscles get accustomed to a routine workout. Switching exercises and continually challenging helps burn more fat and build lean tissue. Change the type and time or duration of exercise. Try cycling instead of running if you have been doing it for long. Running, swimming, dancing, and Pilates too are good options. Skipping and brisk walking help in burning calories too and break the plateau. In the gym, change the exercise or number of repetitions. If you have been working on machines for long, try weight training or floor exercises. Take rest: Adequate rest is essential for the body to rejuvenate. Muscles, tendons, and ligaments get slight internal and external injuries which can be healed by rest. Proper rest helps repair and regenerate the tissue and makes them strong. Make these changes and get the needle on that weighing scale to budge.
Fruit diet can be dangerousFruits are healthy and provide lots of nutrition, vitamins, antioxidants, carbohydrates, fibre and bioflavanoids to the body.These things together protect your body from different health conditions and heart disease. However if you only eat fruit, you miss many other essential nutrients such as fats and protein. This can upset your stomach and lead to indigestion. Hence it is very important to take a well-balanced diet to remain healthy. Check out why you should not rely solely on fruits for living. Fruits do not provide protein Protein is highly important for your growth and development. By eating only fruits, you are restricting your intake of proteins that can stop your overall development process. Your body requires calories and energy on a regular basis. Each cell of your body contains protein. To keep your body cells in top working condition it is important that you include protein-rich foods such as lentils, soy products,  nuts and beans in your regular diet. You can also consume low-fat dairy, lean meat, fish and skinless poultry to provide required amount of protein to your body. Fruits do not provide fat Although excess of fat is not good for health, it is essential that your body requires on daily basis to ensure smooth functioning of your immune system and also to help your body absorb various minerals and vitamins provided by other foods like fruit. If you continue being a fruitarian for long duration, the chances of stroke due to brain haemorrhage increases. According to health experts, you should get around 20 to 35 percent of your daily calories from fat. To provide your body with good fats you should include soybean, sunflower, olive or canola oil in your diet. Fish and poultry also provide good amount of healthy fats to the body. Too much of fruits can lead to digestive problems Fruits provide fibres to the body in large amounts. Although your body needs fibre as it is one of the essential nutrients, getting too much of fibre can lead to side effects. Fibre works as broom to clear of your abdomen and aid in the digestion process. However, too much of fibre leads to stomach problems and cause symptoms such as gas, cramps and bloating. Sometimes it may also lead to chronic diarrhoea, dehydration and loose stools. On a regular basis, a woman requires only 22 to 28 gm of fiber per day and a man needs 34 to 38 gm. Apart from fruits, seeds, vegetables and whole grains also provide fibre to the body. Other considerations If you limit your intake to fruits, you may not get enough calories required for producing the required amount of energy. Consuming calories less than 1100 per day can lead to lot of side-effects such as intolerance to cold, gallstones, hair loss and fatigue. So although fruits taste wonderful and are very tempting, being a fruitarian is not the best thing for your health. Your body needs all the nutrients for carrying out its different activities and hence you should include variety of foods in your diet.  
Bile block - Understanding gallbladder problemsRavi was a young intern working the night shifts in a government hospital when he was asked to examine a patient who had just been brought in. The patient was a 45-year-old, a fat man, who was complaining of pain in the right side of the abdomen along with nausea and vomiting. On inquiry it was revealed that he had eaten a very heavy fat-laden dinner. Remembering what his surgery professor had taught him about cholelithiaisis, Ravi immediately guessed what the diagnosis could be. He, however, sent the patient for a blood test and an abdominal scan. The reports confirmed Ravi’s suspicions- cholelithiasis, gallstones. The gallbladder is a tiny pear shaped organ that lies just below the liver. It is responsible for storing the bile that is produced by the liver for digesting food. It ensures the smooth outflow of the bile from the bile ducts. When the bile components aggregate in the gallbladder, they build up to form gallstones, similar to kidney stones. The gallstones are usually small enough to pass on to the intestines and be eliminated without causing too much trouble. At times, these stones may be big enough to block the outflow of the bile and give rise to a variety of symptoms depending on the size of the stone and severity of the block. The symptoms include -  Intermittent colic. A bloated sensation with constant nausea. Inability to tolerate fats. Vomiting.  Fever with chills if the stone becomes infected. Gall stones though found in both sexes, is more common in females. The risk factors for developing gallstones include - Diabetes. Organ transplant. Diseases like hemolytic anemia, sickle cell anemia. Liver cirrhosis. Failure of the gallbladder to empty properly, e.g., during pregnancy. Rapid weight and nutrition loss due to any reason. Gallstones are confirmed by a blood test to check the liver function and by an abdominal scan. Medications to dissolve the stones, and surgery in case of large stones that do not dissolve with medications, are the treatment options.
Winter - When your heart feels the cold too!As per a study in America, 193.6 people of every 10000 people die of a heart disease every year. 53% of the heart attacks occur in the winter months. Heart diseases have a seasonal trend as found by medical research recently. A team of medical researchers recently conducted a survey which saw 10,000 participants between the ages 35 to 80 from around seven European countries. The study was conducted to see if there is any seasonal variation in the presentation of heart diseases. The participants were measured on the parameters of blood pressure, waist circumference, body mass index, blood glucose levels and blood lipid levels. The parameters were later adjusted for sex, age and smoking. The results revealed that the incidence of heart disease shows an upward trend in the winter month [Jan to Feb] as compared to the summer months [June-Aug]. The researchers accept that there is no logical explanation to these findings. A plausible cause being the fact that the eating habits change in winter. One tends to eat more which in turn increases the cholesterol levels leading to heart diseases. Several other theories are being put forth. According to one, during the winter months the body undergoes hormonal imbalance. The day and night variation in the hormone levels, especially that of cortisol varies. This results in a lower threshold for heart attacks. Yet another theory says that the cold temperature tends to constrict the arteries narrowing the blood flow to the heart tissue and this result in a heart attack. On the basis of this study, scientists advise that more attention is to be paid to heart health during the winters.
What Is slowing down your sex driveBeing sleep deprived can lower the levels of sex hormones in your body. Are you feeling dull lately and wondering what happened to your sex drive? May be, the stressors in your life are also creeping on to your bed. Find out some of causes that could be the reason behind this. Lack of sleep: Hectic work and busy life takes a toll on everybody. The first hit is your sleep - the hours go down, the quality reduces and the effects are insufficient. Sleeping six hours or less can push down the levels of testosterone in the body. Testosterone is the hormone that influences sex drive for both men and women. Though it is primarily a male hormone, it is also present in small quantities in all women and drives their sexual desires. Emotional problems: Stress, tensions, depressions, irritability, anger are negative emotions that lower the sex drive. Try not to bring the work pressures home. Marital problems or relationship issues may be hampering your bond with the spouse. Weight gain: Being overweight makes you lazy, tires you easy and decreases your self-confidence, especially in bed. When someone is not comfortable with his/her body image, it affects their sex drive. The pill: If the wife is on the contraceptive pills. The period of ovulation is the time in a menstrual cycle when there is a surge of testosterone in a woman's body. During this period, she experiences a strong sexual desire. The pills regulate the hormonal activity and reduce the sex drive to some extent. Alcohol: If you are feeling a little tipsy, be prepared to pass out and fall in deep sleep as you hit the bed. No scope for sex drive here. In the long run, increased consumption of alcohol can affect erections and make you generally dull. Diabetes Mellitus: Uncontrolled high blood sugar levels lead to impotence in men and dryness of the vagina in women. It also increases the risk for urinary infections. This results in lowered sex drive. Medicines: Some medicines like the anti-allergic ones and the antidepressants reduce the sex drive. Don't let complications of life affect the intimacy in your relationship.
Sex during pregnancy? It's possible!One of the questions that arise when a woman gets pregnant is whether it is safe for the couple to have sex. We'll try to answer the most common questions couples tend to ask. Is sex safe during pregnancy? Sex is considered safe if the pregnancy is normal in all stages. However, even if it is safe, it doesn't mean the woman would want to have it. Desire for sex fluctuates during the various stages of pregnancy and sex becomes plain uncomfortable as the body gets larger. What is not safe? Two types of sexual behaviors are not safe during pregnancy. While having oral sex, the man should not blow air into his partners' vagina. It can lead to air blockage of blood vessels by an air bubble, which is called air embolism, and can be lethal for both mother and baby. The pregnant woman should strictly avoid sex with a partner with unknown sexual history or who may have a Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). What are the common risk factors? In case of significant complications with pregnancy, abstinence from sexual intercourse is advised. Common risk factors can be: Threat of miscarriage. One can have pre-term labor or signs indicating the risk of pre-term labor (such as premature contractions). Unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping. Leakage of fluid surrounding the baby, called as amniotic fluid. Placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta (the cord connecting mother to the baby and nourishes the baby) is located low down and covers the opening of the uterus. Cervix incompetency, a condition where cervix is weak and dilates before full term, increasing the risk of miscarriage or premature labor and delivery. Can sex during pregnancy harm the baby? The baby is always protected by the amniotic sac (a bag-like structure that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid) and uterine muscles. A thick mucus plug seals the cervix and protects the baby from infection. The penis does not come into contact with the fetus during sex. So, sex can't harm the baby directly. Can orgasm lead to miscarriage or contractions? The contractions felt by pregnant women during and just after orgasm are totally different from the contractions of labor. Therefore, in cases of normal and low-risk pregnancies, orgasm can't cause contractions and miscarriage, but always check with the doctor and make sure that your pregnancy is in the low-risk category. What are the safe positions for sex during pregnancy? The old standby missionary position for intercourse may not work for you now. Instead, try these options: Spooning: Lie side by side with him behind you. This will not put pressure on your belly, and makes for more shallow penetration. Female on top: There's no pressure on the belly, and the female can control the speed and depth of penetration. Side of the bed: The female lies on the back on the edge of the bed with knees bent and feet on the edge. The male stands facing her. It's like classic missionary, but the male won't be resting his body weight on the pregnant female. However, remember 'normal' is a relative term when it comes to sex during pregnancy. You and your partner need to discuss what feels right for both of you and take advice from the doctor.
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