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Handling post retirement bluesYou have given the best years of your life to your career, and now it's time to say goodbye and get ready for the retired life. It is a phase laden with expectations of all things you were too busy to do while working - spending more time with family, going on that fishing expedition, or going on leisure trips around the world. However, despite the wonderful things to come, retirement can get unusually trying and mentally taxing. After all, how many of us really have the flexibility of mind to take this period as a challenge and be the master of our destinies? Just because you are retired doesn't mean you have to wither away and wait for death to claim you. So, here's what you can do to beat the retirement blues Catching up: This is really a bewildering time, as you have a lot of catching up to do, with a lot of things. Prioritize the things you want to do and proceed confidently. You may want to spend time with children, spouse, friends, etc. Go easy on yourself, as you may not be able to fit in as many things in your schedule all at the same time. Boost your self-esteem: Retirement is particularly trying for those who have occupied important positions in office. Such people are known to throw tantrums, as they feel less wanted than before. So don't ever make the mistake of treating your family like you treated subordinates at work. That was a role that you played then, and without reducing your importance or self-esteem you can now play a different role with your family as a friend, philosopher and guide. In fact, you can use your contacts and keep the old network alive by involving youth in your field of expertise and help them benefit from you. Catch up on exercise: The more physically fit you are the less likely that retirement will be a painful process. Perfect time for you to catch up on the fun times with your spouse to remind you of all the great times you have had all these years. If your spouse is not in the best of health then just being together is such a wonderful experience in the golden years. Financial health: Your peace of mind and self-esteem largely depend on how independent you are financially. You can take up a part time job or think of innovative ways to let your hobbies and interests generate money for you. This should be an enjoyable process by which your self-esteem can really benefit. Support groups: There are informal or formal associations of retired people that do various activities like travelling. Make yourself available to them. Sometimes retired people withdraw into a shell and that only makes things worse. These support groups give a fresh perspective on all things in life.
Career advice for menGetting a job these days is extremely difficult. What is even more difficult is sticking around long enough at the job. No one is indispensable, and if you don't perform well, there are hundreds more waiting to get the job! Being the bread winner, men have to face this pressure more. Here are some tips that would do you good, if followed: Cracking The Interview: The golden rule here is to be honest. The interviewers do not want to hear what will please them; So, do not try to butter them up. They are also put off by boasting . Therefore, be honest about your views and opinions. Age:wise Attitude- When you are young, and have just entered the company, it is highly advisable to observe and learn as much as you can. Find yourself a professional mentor who can guide you. Try and build on your professional presence. Be active, spend more time with your boss, be helpful to your juniors. The golden advice for all, irrespective of seniority, is to stay clear of office gossip and politics. Keep a check on the attitude: There is no need to be arrogant, and a know-it-all. Be friendly, confident, and genuine. Learn to say no: You need to have a pleasing personality. But, avoid trying to please all. Try and learn the art of saying no firmly. Too much of 'yes' will make people take you for granted, and you will find yourself overloaded with a lot of work. Do not under price yourself: If you feel that you deserve a raise, go ahead and ask for it. Do not be afraid to ask for your worth. Often at interviews, employers cancel out candidates who under price themselves, as it shows that they will probably not perform to the expected levels. Blow your trumpet: With all humility make sure you take what is rightfully yours. If you don't take credit for the work, no one will give it to you. Worse, someone else may take it! Create boundaries: Keep your work at office. Do not bring work home. Often at the outset, to please bosses, one ends up working overtime or worse, working at home. It is important to keep both the parts of your lives separate. Keep fit too: Don't let your job take a toll on your health. Working late, sitting at the same place for hours, can be harmful for the heart. Learn to unwind periodically. Setting goals is easy. What is needed is the determination to follow the rules you have set for yourself. The way to success at work is taking the ladder, one step at a time. There is no elevator here.
Pamper the newborn without forgetting yourselfIf you are a new mom, chances are you are busy 24/7. The baby's complete dependence on you helps you bond with him/her and makes you aware of the responsibility that is now on you. But, your own health is an equally important responsibility. So, you need to give yourself permission to take care, or even pamper yourself from time to time. Here are simple ways for you to look out for yourself. Eat your favorite breakfast: As your day starts, you need fuel to keep your energy levels high. So, grab your hands on healthy and tasty breakfast options like whole grain cereal, skim milk and sliced strawberries or a banana. The combination of lean protein, whole-grain foods, and nutrient-rich fruit allows the brain to form more feel-good chemicals. Don't let stress come near you: We know that a lot of changes in your life have transpired, due to the entry of a baby in your world. The difficulty to cope with the changes may cause stress and depression. Try to avoid stress by asking for your husband's and relatives' support. Take a walk with your baby: Walking with your baby in nearby parks will give you fresh air and it is an excellent form of exercise. Don't be sleep deprived: Having a baby doesn't mean that you have to always sacrifice your sleep. Never miss an opportunity to sleep or take rest. This will keep your energy levels high for the day. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Delegate baby care: Parenting is not your sole responsibility. Ask your husband to lend a hand in taking care of the baby for some time. Not just the husband, if you live in a joint family, you can ask other relatives for help as well. Don't be a multi-tasking person: We know a woman has so many roles to play. But, it doesn't always have to be that way. Being a new mom, you must focus on one activity at a time. You can prioritize your tasks, if you have a lot of things to do. Exercise regularly: Add exercise to your daily routine. Choose the exercise which you love and enjoy, like walking, cycling, yoga, swimming or aerobic dance. Consult a doctor before starting any exercise program.    
Mammary duct ectasiaSigns and Symptoms In most of the cases, female patients do not have any symptom. In few cases, women may present with nipple discharge, tenderness or inflammation of the surrounding region. In some cases, there may be a lump over the breast or the nipple may get inverted. Causes Exact cause of mammary duct ectasia is unknown. But few possible cause or risk factors have been proposed by the doctors : Increasing age - Probability of developing mammary duct ectasia increases with age. With ageing, the breast changes its nature. Glandular tissue is replaced by fatty tissue. This change may lead to duct ectasia. Smoking- Milk ducts are widened due to smoking. This increases risk of inflammation which may lead to duct Ectasia. Inverted nipple - Inverted nipple obstructs the milk duct. It may lead to inflammation followed by duct ectasia. Complications Complications of duct ectasia may be may be of varying severity. They are usually minor, but sometimes become serious. Localized discomfort- Discomfort occurs due to pain and swelling around the nipple. Nipple discharge - Ectasia is frequently associated with discharge of thick and sticky fluid from nipple. Infection- Bacterial infection may develop due to stagnation of fluid in the milk duct. If it is neglected, it may lead to localized collection of pus known as abscess. Abscess requires surgical treatment. Abscess is drained surgically. Diagnosis The doctor usually diagnoses duct ectasia by clinical examination. However, few investigations may be required. Mammography- X-ray of the breast tissue is known as mammography. It helps the doctor to evaluate the breast tissue. Ultrasound- Ultrasound enables the doctor to evaluate milk ducts beneath the nipple. Treatment Duct ectasia is usually relieved by treatment. Following are the treatment options : Medications: The doctor prescribes antibiotic therapy for 10 to 14 days. It may be accompanied by mild painkillers like ibuprofen, etc. for initial few days till the remission of the disease sets in. Most of the cases are usually relieved by medications. Surgery: If duct ectasia is not controlled with medications then the doctor chooses to remove the duct ectasia surgically. Surgery is required very rarely.  Self care measures Following self-care measures often provides relief to the patients. These remedies can be adopted at home. The patient may wear a breast pad or support bra. The patient may apply warm compression to the affected region. The patient must stop smoking. The patient may be advised to sleep on the opposite side of the affected breast. Female patients should be educated regarding mammary duct ectasia so that they can detect possible symptoms of duct ectasia themselves. This will help to prevent possible complications of mammary duct ectasia and early diagnosis will provide early cure.
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Teenage troubles for autistic kidsTeenage brings along with it a lot of physical and psychological problems. Your body undergoes a lot of changes, the way the world looks at you is changing and you are not in the position to accept all this. Teenage is one of the most painful periods in one's life.  For an autistic child teenage can be compared to living a nightmare day in and day out. Here is a look at the problems of teenage from an autistic kid's point of view: Social Interaction The ability to interact socially is absent in autistic kids. They are loners who prefer to be left alone and undisturbed in their own worlds. Such a child is a natural target for bullying and ragging by other kids of his age group. At times even if the autistic child wants to come out and make friends, he is not able to do so due to lack of the required skills. Teenage is a period where you need at least one friend to confide in. It can be an extremely difficult phase when you are all alone. Puberty This is the dramatic time in life dilled with hormones and emotions. Your body undergoes lots of changes and you are confused about so many things. You don't know whom to ask or whom to turn to for guidance. Autistic children do not have the maturity to understand this phase. Special issues for autistic teens and sexuality include: Knowledge of physical changes in body. Knowledge of 'good' and 'bad' touch. Ability to communicate about a 'bad' touch or action. Keeping 'safe' distance from others. Handling menstrual cycles. Avoiding 'self-touch' in public. It can be a phase of emotional turmoil for the parents. They need to work closely with their child's special teachers to chalk out a plan that will be best suited to the child in handling puberty successfully. Self-help skills Simple self-help skills like hygiene can be a challenge for teenagers with autism. Improper motor skills, compliance, and sensory problems may interfere with a teen's progress. The proper training of hygiene and grooming can help to add these elements into the daily routine. The right approach is to simplify each task into simple small steps. The positive reward system is a great source of encouragement, as positive motivation always help the teenagers. Higher Functions Autistic teenagers are socially awkward. They lack the power to comprehend and process complex social cues which includes sarcasm, body language, humor, emotional responses and facial expressions. What complicates the problem is that the autistic child lacks empathy and hence may appear rude. Such kids are likely to be teased a lot in school settings.
Lost in wonderland? - Absentmindedness!The Daily Telegraph reports that on an average every adult in UK forgets three things per day. Forgetfulness is a human tendency. If this absentmindedness or forgetfulness is limited to forgetting three to five things per day, then it can be left unattended. However, if you or a near one is facing a lot of trouble in your daily life due to this habit or problem, you should immediately have a consultation with your doctor. Mystery behind Absentmindedness According to Maria Jonsdottir, an investigating neuropsychologist from Iceland, absentmindedness is the mental lapses that usually happen in connection with the actions that are routine or well-rehearsed. You can perform these actions without any need to be careful. This includes regular actions such as squeezing out toothpaste or moisturizer from the tube. These action slips are very common and if you observe carefully, you do forget some such regular things every day unknowingly. Psychologists believe that an individual makes such mental lapses around 30 times in every week. On an average, the nervous system of a human brain runs quite efficiently. However, sometimes temporary fault may develop that may make you use incorrect word or slip to your native tongue while conversing. This does not mean however, that something is wrong with your brain. When the team of Jonsdottir surveyed around 200 people, they found out that on an average the slips are 6.4 per week although the number also greatly depends upon the gender, intelligence level, and age. One startling fact that was discovered is that most of the events of forgetfulness occurred before 8 p.m. that means people tend to forget more during the daytime than in the evening. Apart from a momentary lapse in the functioning of brain efficiency, other reasons that can lead to increase in the incidents of forgetfulness are high stress levels, mobile phones, e-mails, and busy lifestyles. Today, people are pressed for time and they have more work at hand than time and that has increased the occurrence of forgetfulness. Types of Absentmindedness A team of neuropsychologists has divided these mental lapses into five categories. The most common are the storage failures in which people cannot recall what they had planned for a particular occasion or they can recall the action, but cannot remember for whom it was meant. Another category is test failures in which people come back home to check whether they have turned the light off and find out that they have already done so. Discrimination failure is another category of absentmindedness wherein you for a moment fail to identify the difference between your things and others'. During the study, a male participant accepted that he picked up the jacket of his female partner thinking it to be his own. Sometimes you put books in the dustbin and the trash on the shelf and laugh at your behavior a moment later when you find out what you have done. This is discrimination failure. Another mix-up includes program assembly failure wherein you put salt in the tea instead of sugar or you just do not keep the right things at the right place. The fifth one is the sub-routine failure wherein you go to the market to buy tea and instead come back home with coffee. The research proves one thing that if you are absentminded, it does not mean that you have a bad memory or can suffer from dementia as is widely publicized in the media. It is perfectly all right to forget or being an absentminded person. Sometimes the incidences of absentmindedness can increase due to fatigue. A good sleep and rest can fix the problem easily.
Expression forbidden! - Human emotionsSome people have a perpetual 'bee in their bonnets'! They maintain a demeanor and a mask which is virtually impenetrable. They are generally highly competent and efficient and occupy high positions of authority. They believe in living life set to a routine, and the worst part is that they expect others to adhere to it as well! God help those who have a boss like that, as their immediate liberty is at stake, and unless they are honing to be perfectionists, life is going to be a series of disasters with Captain Ice around! Nothing wrong with perfectionism per se, but when someone is a hard task master then he could well earn himself the epithet of being "a crashing bore," especially if he doesn't allow others to express themselves properly. Take a more intimate scenario - Mr. Bright Harry meets tepid Sally. The sparks fly only on Harry's side with Sally stonewalling his every effort to get to know her mind, body, and soul. A tough ask for poor Harry, as he is yet to touch first base with Sally. Know what? They have been married 5 years and she seems to be fond of him, yet has never as much admitted it to him. Quite frankly, the two could pass off for siblings rather than 'man and wife.' Why are some people such rotten spoilsports, especially where emotions are concerned?  It may well be a natural mindset for some to have an emotional guard up and emote, or have an emotional connect only with certain types of people. Fair enough and good show, we say! After all one can't be wearing one's emotions on a sleeve or you end up been taken advantage of. That's a mask that most 'tough guys with soft centre' wear anyway. Nowadays with the rules being somewhat relaxed with men been given liberty and allowances to display their gentler feminine emotional side, we find men going over the top with the sheer display of emotional expression. One is at sea wondering which one was worse off-the tough, cynical cop look or the "let me weep my heart out for you" kind of contrived emotion. That apart, it is bad enough for us having to contend with a person who has difficulty with expressing himself properly. We don't mean articulation or even well-developed linguistic ability - we mean being able to be spontaneous and congenial and a little forthcoming and nice to be with sort of an emotional person. So, unless someone has a romantic angle towards this guy (there are weirdoes all over the world, who go asking for it!) or girl, he is going to be feared, hated, despised, unloved, and uninvited by everybody. So why do people behave like they are going to be flogged for even attempting a ghost of a smile or a cheerful greeting to a fellow co-worker? Why do some people find it difficult even to open up on a psychiatrist's couch? The Mask The most common reason for Mr. or Ms. Grumpy is that they have probably been emotionally brutalized in their formative years by an authoritative parent and this has caused them to lock themselves up double quick in a shell and throw away the key. Now, that can be tough and extremely painful. It is a prison of their own making through which nobody can see that once bright-n-chirpy personality frozen, much like the curse of the wicked witch in those fairy tales we read. The person is dying to let his emotions out and let people see who he is, but since very little light escapes out due to the tough mask and veneer, that it is an uphill task. Then the sheer anger at not being understood, subconsciously plays havoc and then he gets to be the more demanding boss at work or that sullen wife or lone stranger staring in to nothingness on the park bench. These are the people that have a series of relationship disasters as their defence mechanisms are too solid to be penetrated. Some people may be naturally distant, and for them the finer and higher emotions probably don't register as much as they do in the average person. These guys are cut out for careers ranging from lighthouse keepers to morgue attendants to hangmen, where being emotional has no place. There are still others who swing the other extreme by showing so much of emotion that it is scary for others to take them on. Their emotional side is so overwhelming and demanding that it is actually a clever subterfuge on their part to drive people away as they subconsciously do not want people to get to know their real side. They generally don a mask of humor and good cheer and are great fun to be with. In reality, they are alone and scared and perhaps hurt emotionally. So, they feel safe to display emotions to masses rather than individuals. These people make good evangelists and rock stars as they can safely display and get an emotional discharge without running the risk of a one-on-one emotional exchange where they are afraid they would be hurt. If you encounter such a person who looks askance at you displaying your emotions, then it is better for you to talk things out and maybe put things in perspective. Of course, this all depends on whether you are emotional enough to maybe give someone a chance by understanding what drives them to do the things they do. Let me assure you the ice will thaw if the intention is genuine and well meant.
Exercise, a healthy way to deal with hypertensionYou have not exercised for a long time. You took it easy when it came to physical activity. Now that you are diagnosed with high blood pressure, you will do anything to control it. Even exercise! Exercise, weight management, and a healthy diet are important ways to help prevent high blood pressure and lower the blood pressure that is already high. Benefits of exercise for people with hypertension include: Improve blood and oxygen circulation in the body Promotes sound sleep Improves stamina and endurance Keeps heart healthy Reduces stress and promotes mental health Exercise enhances the effectiveness of medication So how much should one exercise? An exercise session of atleast 30 minutes per day is important. Get started Start slowly and increase gradually. Start with 10 to 15 minutes of exercise and increase it, as youget comfortable. Choose exercises you enjoy and will do consistently. Avoid sudden vigorous activities; they can cause injuries and hamper the routine. Warm up Warming up helps the body adjust slowly from rest to exercise. A warm-up will reduce stress on the body muscles, increase heart rate and respiratory rate, and body temperature slowly. It will also decrease soreness of muscles. Best exercises for lowering blood pressure Stretching: It is the best. It relaxes and helps prepare the body and muscles for activity and prevents injury and muscle strain. Stretching regularly will make you flexible and improve motility. Aerobic exercise: This helps to improve circulation to the entire body. It improves heart function. It gives maximum benefits to the heart. They also help to reduce heart rate and blood pressure by improving breathing pattern thus lowering blood pressure. Walking, swimming, jogging, and skipping are all aerobic activities. Do aerobics for at least 30 minutes three times a week. Strengthening exercises: These include exercises that have repeated muscle contractions till the muscles are tired. These include side balance crunch, climbing a rope, and push-ups. Join a gym. Here are some  exercise guidelines for a better exercising routine in the gym:  Schedule a fixed time for exercise. Find a buddy to exercise with you. Select an exercise that you like. Make variations to avoid getting bored. Boredom can make you stop exercising. Start slowly and increase gradually, especially if you do not exercise regularly. You should wait for an hour after eating before you exercise. Ten minutes of warm up and ten minutes of cool down sessions are must Keep a record of daily exercise.
Muscle build up dietYou may think that you need fatty foods to bulk up, but this is not true. Fatty foods will do just that make you fat. Lean meats, fruits and vegetables will actually build muscle. Take a balanced diet of vegetables and lean meats to achieve your muscle building goals. Changing your diet to build muscle will help with your overall health. Eating food that helps build muscle will ensure that you are not wasting all that hard work you are doing in the gym. Workout utilizes considerable energy. Food is the only way to replace this energy. So what happens if you fail to eat the right type of food to build muscle mass? It will take longer to build muscle, and it may even prevent muscle building altogether once you reach a certain point. Is protein important or not? You bet it is. Protein provides the building blocks to build that muscle. What types of protein are best? Chicken, eggs, steak (with the fat cut off), fish, cheese (especially cottage cheese), and nuts are all great sources of protein. Finding out how much protein to eat when you are interested in building muscle fast is actually not difficult. First, you will need to find out your lean body mass weight in kilos, and then you simply multiply that figure by 2.75 to determine your daily protein requirement. Calculating your lean body mass uses some complex formulae, so ask a professional at the gym if you do not already have this figure. Carbohydrates, in moderation, are also essential when finding foods that build muscle. Do not eat too much, though, unless you choose high fibre carbohydrates, and then you can indulge in much larger amounts. High fibre carbs include rice, potatoes, oatmeal and bananas. Reducing fat in your diet is of course necessary to build bigger muscle on a body that appears lean and has a low body fat ratio. If you are focusing on what foods build muscle mass, you also need to bear in mind that it pays to reduce fat as well. Although proteins are essential, it is really important to select proteins that are low in fat, or that you can cut the fat off. So eat your chicken without the skin, and go for lean steaks rather than more fatty cuts of meat. Opting for cottage cheese or other reduced fat cheeses, and low fat milk also helps reduce your fat intake. You may argue that drinking has no effect on what to eat to build muscle. But you would be wrong. Hydration is critical to general health and wellbeing. Two litres of water a day is what most experts recommend for maintaining optimal health. To drink that amount, you need to drink up to 12 glasses of water a day, which is quite a lot. So start early in the day, and space your water consumption out throughout the day. Foods that build muscle are great and an essential component of your bodybuilding program. But do not be lulled into a false sense of security and think you can slow down on your workouts. Both bodybuilding exercises and bodybuilding diets are required to get a body to die for as quickly as you possibly can. Even if you are working on improving your physique slowly, you should combine a bodybuilding diet with bodybuilding workouts for best results. Sample Diet: 7:00am: Breakfast: 4 eggs + toast or oatmeal + milk with protein powder mixed in (a lot). 9:30am: Snack: 1 Meal replacement supplement + milk. 12:00: Lunch: Tuna sandwich (1 whole can) + green apple. 3:00pm: Snack:  2 Meal replacement supplement + milk. 5:30pm: Workout: Have water (or carb drink if you want), within 30 mins of end of workout (on workout days only) Meal replacement supplement + milk. (If you are going to have Creatine - put it in this Meal replacement supplement at the end of your workout). 8:30pm: Dinner: A chicken breast (aprox 8 oz + some rice or other starch carb + if you want also eat some veggies) Before Bed:  Meal replacement supplement + milk.
Challenges faced by homosexual parentsThe major challenge in front of gay parents is to face society and protect their children from social prejudice and discrimination. Gay people can never have their own children, and hence, often opt for adoption. But, how can a couple, who is discriminated against by society, provide a healthy upbringing to a child? However, in some cases, gay parents are known to have capably given their child, all the love and care and the basic amenities that they need, for a wholesome and proper development. Sexual Orientation and Parenting In the American society, same sex parenting is more common than in other parts of the world. Even then, children of gay parents have to face many more challenges than the children with heterosexual parents. The U.S. Census report of 2000 has reported that around 22 percent gay couples and 33 percent lesbian couples have around 18 children living with them. The trend of adoption amongst gay people has been increasing over the years, despite the overwhelming challenges. According to a report published in June 2012 by the American Psychological Association, no scientific evidence has proven that sexual orientation can affect parenting effectiveness. This means that both lesbian as well as gay parents can indeed provide a healthy and supportive environment for raising their children. Major Challenges The major difference lies in the treatment that the children of gay parents get in society. They have to face discrimination and prejudice from schools, their peers and even within their own families. Gay or lesbian parents on the other hand, face the dilemma of how to explain to their children why they have two mothers, or two fathers. Many people in society, even those with strong educational backgrounds, are of the opinion that being gay or lesbian, is an illness due to which, they are incapable of being adequate parents. There is also a misconception that lesbian women tend to be less motherly than heterosexual women. But no scientific basis has been found to support these beliefs. Although the medical community does not consider homosexuality as a psychological disorder, society continues to have a biased outlook towards gay parents. Are Gay Parents Better than Heterosexual Parents? As of today, nothing can prove that gay partners are not as good parents as their heterosexual counterparts. Moreover, it has been found that people of the same sex divide their workload of raising the child, and hence, the childcare process is more smooth and satisfying. Some studies have even noted that lesbian or gay parents have superior parenting skills. But, again no scientific evidence has proven these observations, yet.
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
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