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Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
Honeymoon cystitisHoneymoon cystitis is a term for urinary tract infections that occur commonly during early marriage. Sexual intercourse is the primary reason for developing this infection. The infection occurs when the E. coli bacteria that are normally present in the bowel are introduced into the urethra. This may happen through sexual intercourse, inserting unclean fingers or objects into the vagina. Women who wash their private parts from the back to front also have an increased chance of developing infection. Symptoms of honeymoon cystitis may include a burning or painful sensation during urination, the urge to urinate frequently, cloudy urine, blood-tinged urine, and/or pain above the pubic bone. Any of these is enough o play a spoilsport and dampen your honeymoon mood! Symptoms of honeymoon cystitis generally emerge within a day or two after bacteria are introduced into the urethra. A physician can confirm the diagnosis of infection through a simple urine test. The treatment usually involves antibiotics and pain-killers. What care should you take to avoid honeymoon cystitis from recurring? Use water based lubricant during sexual intercourse Urinate before and immediately after intercourse to flush out the bacteria from the urethra. Drink plenty of water to keep the urine normal Avoid coffee, tea and aerated drinks See a gynaecologist or a urologist if the problem recurs.  Urinary tract infections are extremely common in women and are the leading cause for visits to the doctor.
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Balancing marriage and work: The top 5 tricksFor women juggling between home and work is very difficult. Yet, the number of women choosing to go out and work, while managing their homes, has increased over the years. This is because a successful career helps a woman establish her identity in society, gain respect and do justice to her inherent qualities, passions and dreams. So, a successful working woman, is a happy woman and statistics show that such women also keep their kids and spouses happy. More stable marriages During the seventies, when women started entering the workforce in large numbers, there was an instant rise in the divorce rates. However, over the past decade, the divorce rates among working couples have actually declined. Today, men have extensively adjusted to the idea of having a working woman, as a partner. In many countries, men actually share the domestic chores and devote time to childcare, so that their women can successfully handle both, work and home. However, the main responsibility of the home and the kids is still primarily, in the hands of the women. Here are the six keys to manage your work and marriage successfully: Find the right job You can ease out the stress of managing the work and home front, if you make the right decisions. Studies indicate that couples having access to less demanding work, have better sex and better relationships and hence, are less likely to be stressed out. However, in case the working hours are long, the situation can become the opposite. Hence, it is important to find an exciting job, over which you can still have control, especially when you have small kids at home. Adjust the working hours Most women have to leave their careers halfway because their husbands work for long hours and there is no one available to care for the kids. If the wife too is good at work then, the couple should take up jobs that provide an opportunity for both of them to work, since doing this will keep both of them satisfied. There is a possibility that the husband, or the wife, may lose a bit on the income in this adjustment, but ultimately it increases the chances of having a happier marriage. The negative impact of leaving work If a career-oriented woman leaves her job due to family demands, it can shake the very base of the marriage, while also leaving her, depressed. Also taking a break, means you have to catch up very fast when you want to restart your career, which in reality, is quite difficult. In these situations, there is also a huge wage gap, between what you used to get before your break, and what you are getting after, that can lead to depression. Working moms help fortify the relationships between kids and their fathers When the father spends time babysitting the children, a closer bond develops between the kids and the father, which is usually not possible in families where the dad goes to work, full time. Studies show that children raised with equal devotion from both father and mother, have higher goals and aspirations and are even more empathetic. Feel less guilty A working woman usually feels guilty because she cannot spend as much time with her children, compared to the dedicated housewives. However, if the husband shares the duties related to bringing up the children both parents can be happy while playing their parts well for their kids. A woman with a successful career is positive and confident about everything she does, which ultimately makes her family happier.
Not very chummy! Menophobia - The fear of periodsMenstruation or periods begin as female reaches puberty. This is the time when there are hormonal changes which occur in the body as nature takes the girl and makes her ready for womanhood. The onset of periods can be distressful with lots of mood swings accompanied by abdominal cramps, bloated feet as the menstrual blood flows. This is also a time when the girl needs to be comforted and educated the most, as it can be truly a terrifying experience. Normally mothers or elder women in the family ensure that they take complete care of the girl in this transition phase. For some women, their initial experience with periods may not have been particularly pleasant, causing them to actually dread those 4 days and this fear can then take the shape of a full blown phobia -Menophobia! The reason could vary. For some the pain factor could be the reason for menophobia, while for others, it could be the memory of embarrassing red stains on the clothes which could set it off. In menophobia, just before the onset of the periods, the person starts getting anticipatory anxiety and the pain which could be normal period pain, is then imagined to be ten times worse. This brings on panic attacks and feeling of utter dread which while is entirely psychological can be utterly distressful and downright crippling. Counseling can help greatly along with pain medication to manage the pain and the fear of this natural phenomenon called periods. In therapy, this is what is iterated. That menstruation is a completely natural process and if there is a fear of menstrual blood then gradually, the woman is encouraged to accept it as a natural body function which plays a major part of her being a woman.
Have that chocolate without any guiltYou may find this hard to believe, but chocolate is actually good for your health. Hold on, before you faint. Let's first get to the crux of the matter. Chocolate can actually be good for you if you eat it in moderate quantities. So what about all the bad effects of chocolate that people always talk about? Let's fume them all one by one:  Chocolate causes dental caries: Dear mummy, dental caries (cavities) are caused due to poor oral hygiene and consumption of foods rich in fermentable carbohydrates. When these carbohydrates are left in the tooth for a long time, they release an acid. This may damage the tooth enamel and cause tooth decay. In fact, chocolate contains tannin which actually prevents cavities from forming. So next time, dear mommies, let your child enjoy a small piece of chocolate. You can also join them in the treat.  Chocolate is loaded with fats and sugar:Yes, chocolate comprises of both saturated and unsaturated fats, but a majority of themare in the form of oleic acid and stearic acid. Now, oleic acid (present in olives) and stearic acid are good to lower the blood cholesterol levels. Also, the fat that is found in chocolate is added later, after the chocolate has been processed. So the higher content of cocoa in any bar ensures that there is less fat in the chocolate. So, what about the sugar?Sugar is bad, but the darker variety of chocolate has less sugar compared to the regular sweet chocolate. Dark means higher cocoa content and hence no room for other fillers likes cocoa butter, sugar, nuts, etc.  Chocolate contains no nutrients: On the contrary, it is rich in antioxidants.What is the work of an antioxidant? They scavenge the body of free radicals, which roam in body and cause ageing and diseases. Antioxidant flushes these free radicals out of your body. So, if you want to stay young, bite on a piece of chocolate once a week. Secondly, diets rich in antioxidants have been proven to lower the incidences of heart attacks, strokes, cardiovascular diseases, hyperlipidemia, and arthritis. Hence, I stand by the bar full of antioxidants;it's actually good for you.  Chocolate contains caffeine: Caffeine content in chocolatesis low as compared to your tea, coffee, or cola drinks. Now, having counted the amazing health benefits of chocolate, it is important to tell you which chocolate is healthy for you. The one which is in its purest form - thebittersweet one, which is high in cocoa content, is the clue to your healthy bar. So next time you crave a dessert, indulge in a small piece of chocolate to satisfy your sweet tooth and forget that guilt.  
Benefits of meditation: How daily meditation helps you lead a wholesome life Sharper memory: One of the most important cognitive capacities we use daily is our memory. With higher amount of stress on your brain and body due to demands at workplace and home, there is high probability of negative effect on your memory. This can be countered by mindfulness meditation where the focus of attention is a particular physical sensation. This lets you quiet your mind and learn to be attentive solely to the matter at hand, thus allowing your brain to be able to remember more sharply and quickly. Dealing with stress: Stress is the buzzword for anyone who is leading their life in busy cities. Starting from the hurried walk into the office to the pressure of meeting deadlines and reaching home exhausted only to find oneself engrossed in another set of tedious jobs is the condition of daily life for most people. Meditation will allow you to cope with stress in a stronger way by bringing the energies of your body under your control, thus giving you the power to channelize them effectively. Giving up painkillers: Recent medical studies, especially ones conducted in Montreal in 2010, showed how the practice of Zen meditation structures the brain in such a manner that its capacity to sense and deal with pain increases. Primarily practiced by Buddhist monks, Zen is the form of meditation where you focus on your breathing and posture while watching and letting your mind gradually turn quiet. In this way, you can put those pain killers away and increase your innate capacity to deal with pain. Happiness quotient: Prefrontal cortex is the part of brain concerned with positive emotions and feelings. Those who meditate have been seen to have greater activity in this area. Major journals and research institutions focusing on depression and role of meditation in reducing it have found that meditation helps the person to feel in control of their life by subtly changing the working of their brains and thus, resulting in greater capacity to cope with depression and negative feelings. Good for your heart: Two kinds of meditation which are greatly beneficial for smooth working of your heart are Zen and Transcendental meditation. Transcendental meditation, taking after its name, helps you to transcend your worries through attention on chanting. It has been found that meditating daily helps to reduce the chances of stroke and heart attacks by over 40%.
Common causes of allergic reactionsAllergic reactions, most of the times, do not warrant immediate medical attention. But never ignore or take any allergic reaction lightly! Allergic reactions include itching or a puffy face or swollen red blotches all over your body or a fit of sneezing.  If we know what allergies have, we can avoid the triggers. So, here is a list Soaps and detergents: Are your palms are all rough and peeling off in patches and it doesn't seem to go away? Time to do a check on the dish-washing soaps and the detergents you may be using. Most of the brands contain harsh chemicals that burn while you use them. Medically known as Contact Allergic Dermatitis, this is one of the most common allergic reactions. Artificial Jewellery: Even the best looking jewellery can, at times, trigger allergic reactions. Another common type of Contact Allergic Dermatitis, this happens when you wear artificial jewellery. Most of the jewellery of this variety contains Nickel which is the main cause for this type of allergic reaction. Clothes: Clothes can be a cause for allergic reaction. While synthetic fibres like nylon and polyester are common factors, at times, the chemicals used in the dyeing can also be a reason for allergy. Add to it the perspiration and the constant friction between the skin and the clothes, and you have a severe allergic reaction guaranteed! Latex: Latex is also a very common cause for allergy. Commonly found in condoms, gloves and certain medical devices, allergy to latex can range from minor itching and redness, to a serious life-threatening anaphylactic reaction. Milk and milk products: The symptoms for this source of allergy include loose motions and stomach, among other things. Medically called as Lactose intolerance, it occurs in people who do not have the necessary enzymes in their bodies to digest milk and milk products. Food allergies: Peanuts, brinjal, fish etc can also trigger allergic reactions. Food reactions are specific to individuals. One may suffer from an allergic reaction to almost any kind of foodstuff. Beauty products: From shampoos and creams to nail paints and lipsticks, every cosmetic you use is a potential allergic trigger. Molds: These are microscopic fungi found in damp and moist places.. Allergic reactions to molds are pretty common and seasonal. Cockroach: The proteins secreted by the glands and the saliva of the cockroach can be allergic to humans. Sneezing, itchy and watery eyes are common symptoms. Insects: Insect stings can lead to burning and stinging pain with redness and a slight swelling around the bite/sting area. In some people though, insect bite/sting proves to be life threatening. Symptoms as severe as difficult breathing, rapid pulse, severe drop in blood pressure and swelling of face and throat may occur!
Sex at 50 for womenAs you age, your reflexes slow down. The passion to love and to be loved is never dying and just because you have grown in age, you should not stop enjoying sex. The body, especially in case of women also undergoes many changes after the menopausal period. Although it may take you more time to become aroused but the desire to have sex is always there. Moreover, with no children and no worry of getting pregnant you can enjoy sex uninterrupted without any tension. Women who continue to remain sexually active after their menopause retain their ability for enjoying normal orgasms. But this does not mean that there is no difference in the enjoyment factor. Several factors can be detrimental in continuing sex activity. However, there are solutions that can help the couple in their fifties still enjoy sex. Better sex can be possible even during the fifties but for this, you should be ready to take some extra efforts and make your body more comfortable for sex. Using lubrication After the menopause, the body of a woman starts producing less female hormone-estrogen. Lower estrogen level leads to physical changes such as less elasticity of vagina, dryness in vagina and so on. Your vagina may also take more time to swell and lubricate; in turn making intercourse painful or uncomfortable. Instead of getting discouraged by such occurrence, you should try to find out a remedy for it. For overcoming the dryness of vagina, you can use different sexual lubricants that are specifically prepared for the older women. You get them in suppositories or gel forms, which you apply liberally to the vaginal area before having sex. There are certain vaginal moisturizers also available in the market that makes vaginal penetration easier by maintaining elasticity and lubrication. Increase the frequency The more often you have sex, the easier it is for you to maintain elasticity and lubrication. So, go for it more often to enjoy it more now. Hormonal therapy treatment If you are suffering from distressing menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, you can opt for hormonal therapy treatment. This will help to relieve the vaginal dryness. Some doctors also suggest local intra-vaginal therapy to avoid discomfort and dryness during penetration. Application of local estrogen into the vagina enhances the blood flow to this area and ensures more sensation and lubrication. Intra-vaginal estrogen treatment This treatment is carried out in three different ways: A small ring of silastic is inserted high inside the vagina and is kept there for three months. This ring release estrogen in right amount to promote optimum vaginal health. A small tablet of estrogen is inserted inside the vagina twice in a week. Conjugated estrogen cream is applied with small applicator twice in a week. So, there are different methods for increasing responsiveness, vaginal lubrication and elasticity that help you enjoy sex better even in your fifties. Overcome awareness about your body The body of women in fifties is saggy and wrinkled. However, if you have a young heart and passion for sex, you should not let the body image spoil your enjoyment. It is your response towards your partner that matters the most as both of you are going to age slowly and get more wrinkles as the age progresses. Like someone said, it's the imperfections and not the perfections that we fall in love with.
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
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