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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Making babies, the best way!Some couples get pregnant easily. But many couples have to wait months before the baby is conceived. There are several factors that affect conception right from fertility to the position during intercourse. Some believe that positions have nothing to do with conceiving a child. This is not true. Some positions are ideal to help the sperm meet the ovum. Let's see what some of these positions are. Missionary position:The best position for getting pregnant fast is the missionary position.Here the man is lying on top of the woman allowing for the deepest possible penetration, making it possible for the sperm to get deposited closest to the cervix. It is also the most common and comfortable position preferred by couples. Raise your hips high: Your hips have a lot to do in helping you get pregnant. Raise your hips high during sex by placing a pillow below you. This helps to expose the female cervix to as much semen as the male can release. Doggy position: Considered to be the most erotic and pleasurable position,this rear-entry position where the man enters the woman from behind is also recommended for increasing the chances of getting pregnant. In this position too, the sperm is deposited closest to the cervix, thereby increasing the chances of conception. Side-by-side: You can also try having intercourse while lying side by side. This position, likewise, causes the most exposure of the cervix to the male sperm. While these positions certainly improve your chances of getting pregnant, there is no guarantee that you will conceive. The most important thing is to enjoy this special time and have fun with your partner. So keep enjoying and keep trying!
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
Cranky kids in a diner? dealing with them made a bit easy!This has happened to many a parent. They make a reservation at a fine dining restaurant, perhaps with friends and relatives. But their kid screams, and cries,disturbing the entire restaurant, and spoiling the general mood. For this reason, many parents avoid going out altogether, especially to fancy places. But there are ways in which you can handle the toddler when you are at a restaurant. We will show you how. Carry toys Restaurant may be boring at times for toddlers. That's why they turn peevish and may start playing with forks, spoons or knife. So carry some toys, crayons, notebooks, or even a story book, which will keep them busy and you can have a good time. Order something yummy and healthy for the kid A hungry kid is an angry kid. So, order something which is your kid's favorite and also healthy at the same time. Or you can carry something along with you like fruits breads, cherries or other nutritious treats. Keep responding to what kid says The best way to keep childrenwell behavedis to talk to them and respond whenever the child speaks. Don't avoid them or get too engrossed with other people. They get cranky when they don't get a response from you. Take a round with your kid When the kid becomes difficult to handle, just pick him in your arms and take a mini tour of the restaurant or walk outside. This will distract him and relieve his boredom. Don't tolerate any bad behavior If the bad behavior of the kids is intolerable, then firmly tell them that they need to adopt good manners if they want to visit restaurants again. Disturbing other diners is not acceptable. But it doesn't mean that you punish them.You just have to remove them to a place where they don't bother anyone. Make your outing relaxed and enjoyable Above all, don't forget to have fun and make it an enjoyable evening. Don't get too carried away disciplining the kid. You can afford to be a bit silly and enjoy the time with your child.
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Not very chummy! Menophobia - The fear of periodsMenstruation or periods begin as female reaches puberty. This is the time when there are hormonal changes which occur in the body as nature takes the girl and makes her ready for womanhood. The onset of periods can be distressful with lots of mood swings accompanied by abdominal cramps, bloated feet as the menstrual blood flows. This is also a time when the girl needs to be comforted and educated the most, as it can be truly a terrifying experience. Normally mothers or elder women in the family ensure that they take complete care of the girl in this transition phase. For some women, their initial experience with periods may not have been particularly pleasant, causing them to actually dread those 4 days and this fear can then take the shape of a full blown phobia -Menophobia! The reason could vary. For some the pain factor could be the reason for menophobia, while for others, it could be the memory of embarrassing red stains on the clothes which could set it off. In menophobia, just before the onset of the periods, the person starts getting anticipatory anxiety and the pain which could be normal period pain, is then imagined to be ten times worse. This brings on panic attacks and feeling of utter dread which while is entirely psychological can be utterly distressful and downright crippling. Counseling can help greatly along with pain medication to manage the pain and the fear of this natural phenomenon called periods. In therapy, this is what is iterated. That menstruation is a completely natural process and if there is a fear of menstrual blood then gradually, the woman is encouraged to accept it as a natural body function which plays a major part of her being a woman.
Afraid of the dark? understand your fear and cure it!Scotophobia, more commonly known as Nycotophobia, is a psychological illness, where the patient is afraid of the dark. Children are more prone to this fear, though it does affect quite a few adults as well. The dark often represents insecurity and uncertainty to children, and it symbolizes their entrance into an unknown territory. If the children are alone during their first few encounters with darkness, the absence of parents (who exemplify safety), tends to amplify this crippling fear. While most of us do actually possess this fear in relatively small amounts, as we grow up the fear diminishes. However, there are those of us who might carry this fear of the dark into their adulthood and in such cases, the fear is usually accompanied by quite a few intricate issues. People often tend to externalize a set of conflicting feelings about a certain situation, towards something else. For instance, you might be worried about your children; but your mind may externalize this fear, via your inefficiency at work. This process is called externalization. So, when it comes to the root of your fear of darkness, it is possible that at some point in your past, you experienced something untoward, which through externalization, inculcated this fear of darkness, deep into your psyche. Evolutionary Ties to Darkness: Many scientists have pointed out that this phobia might be linked to the process of evolution. Since predators hunt for their prey at night, we might have inherited this fear of darkness from our ancestors, who believed that darkness was a space where they could be attacked by wild animals. However, recent studies have shown that  Scotophobia begins at approximately the age of two in children, and thus, it cannot be said to be innate to us. In a study done by Ryerson University involving over 90 students, it was found that people who are afraid of the dark, are more likely to be poor sleepers, than those who are not afraid of it. More interestingly, it was discovered that any kind of noise made while the people with this phobia were asleep, frightened them the most.. Symptoms of Scotophobia: The first symptoms of this fear are the resistance to visit dark places and the yearning for company when such situations arise. However, many a times adults who are suffering from this fear, do not reveal it due to the added fear of embarrassment and this, sometimes, results in outbursts of rage when they are forced to go out for an event at night, or to confront the dark under any such circumstances. A person battling this fear may experience panic attacks, sweating and trembling prior to, or while staying in the dark. The blood pressure also rises, accompanied by chest pain and lastly, a difficulty in breathing. Diagnosis of Scotophobia: In children, this fear can be easily verified by their behaviour. However, adults might require further assistance, due to their natural resistance to openly admit to such a fear. Scotophobia can be diagnosed through a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation. Following this, your psychologist would be able to give you an idea of the source of your fear as well. Pursue a course of treatment immediately after the discovery of the phobia, which will ensure a faster and more effective recovery. Treatment of Scotophobia: The process of 'desensitization' is most commonly used to help with such a phobia. In this form of treatment, the patient is slowly exposed to the object of fear, in a situation where she/he will not feel vulnerable. This is done by asking the patient to confront the dark along with another individual who symbolizes safety for him/her. This could be a parent or a friend. Night lights can also be installed to gradually reduce the fear. You may try certain breathing exercises, which will reduce the panic attacks that accompany this fear. Hypnosis has also been said to be very effective in dealing with this phobia. If your psychologist sees fit, you might be also prescribed some medicines; antidepressants are given in some cases. Joining a self-help group is also a good option, in addition to your psychological treatment.  
When the grey matters!Greying of hair happens to all of us at some point in life. Some may get it early and other fortunate ones may get it when they are 50. Premature greying and hair fall is a common problem faced by 70% of females in India these days. What are the causes of greying of hair and what can be done if your hair starts to go grey early? What are the probable causes of grey hair and hair fall? Deficiency of nutrients in diet. Excessive stress. Dandruff. Diseases like thyroid disorders, anemia, and vitiligo. Side effects of certain medication. Hair problems are seen more in women who smoke or drink. Childbirth and menopause are the periods of life when most of the women invariably have hair loss. Hereditary pattern of premature greying. Today's beauty procedures like coloring, bleaching, dyeing, perming, and straightening cause hair problems at a young age. Environmental pollution. Treatment and prevention Have a balanced diet. Ensure proper nutrients reach your body in every meal. If you are anemic, treat it with proper medication. This can be an underlying cause. Have a good sleep. Avoid tension and stress. Apply oil regularly and massage. Drink lots of water. Avoid exposure to chemicals. What can be done to hide the grey hair? Apply amla oil to your hair to make it healthy. Apply henna, lemon juice, fenugreek seeds paste, made in an iron container, on your hair to give them a color and reduce greying. Boil gooseberry pieces in coconut oil. When they turn black apply it on the hair. If you have 45-50% grey hair then you can use a permanent hair color.
Muscle build up dietYou may think that you need fatty foods to bulk up, but this is not true. Fatty foods will do just that make you fat. Lean meats, fruits and vegetables will actually build muscle. Take a balanced diet of vegetables and lean meats to achieve your muscle building goals. Changing your diet to build muscle will help with your overall health. Eating food that helps build muscle will ensure that you are not wasting all that hard work you are doing in the gym. Workout utilizes considerable energy. Food is the only way to replace this energy. So what happens if you fail to eat the right type of food to build muscle mass? It will take longer to build muscle, and it may even prevent muscle building altogether once you reach a certain point. Is protein important or not? You bet it is. Protein provides the building blocks to build that muscle. What types of protein are best? Chicken, eggs, steak (with the fat cut off), fish, cheese (especially cottage cheese), and nuts are all great sources of protein. Finding out how much protein to eat when you are interested in building muscle fast is actually not difficult. First, you will need to find out your lean body mass weight in kilos, and then you simply multiply that figure by 2.75 to determine your daily protein requirement. Calculating your lean body mass uses some complex formulae, so ask a professional at the gym if you do not already have this figure. Carbohydrates, in moderation, are also essential when finding foods that build muscle. Do not eat too much, though, unless you choose high fibre carbohydrates, and then you can indulge in much larger amounts. High fibre carbs include rice, potatoes, oatmeal and bananas. Reducing fat in your diet is of course necessary to build bigger muscle on a body that appears lean and has a low body fat ratio. If you are focusing on what foods build muscle mass, you also need to bear in mind that it pays to reduce fat as well. Although proteins are essential, it is really important to select proteins that are low in fat, or that you can cut the fat off. So eat your chicken without the skin, and go for lean steaks rather than more fatty cuts of meat. Opting for cottage cheese or other reduced fat cheeses, and low fat milk also helps reduce your fat intake. You may argue that drinking has no effect on what to eat to build muscle. But you would be wrong. Hydration is critical to general health and wellbeing. Two litres of water a day is what most experts recommend for maintaining optimal health. To drink that amount, you need to drink up to 12 glasses of water a day, which is quite a lot. So start early in the day, and space your water consumption out throughout the day. Foods that build muscle are great and an essential component of your bodybuilding program. But do not be lulled into a false sense of security and think you can slow down on your workouts. Both bodybuilding exercises and bodybuilding diets are required to get a body to die for as quickly as you possibly can. Even if you are working on improving your physique slowly, you should combine a bodybuilding diet with bodybuilding workouts for best results. Sample Diet: 7:00am: Breakfast: 4 eggs + toast or oatmeal + milk with protein powder mixed in (a lot). 9:30am: Snack: 1 Meal replacement supplement + milk. 12:00: Lunch: Tuna sandwich (1 whole can) + green apple. 3:00pm: Snack:  2 Meal replacement supplement + milk. 5:30pm: Workout: Have water (or carb drink if you want), within 30 mins of end of workout (on workout days only) Meal replacement supplement + milk. (If you are going to have Creatine - put it in this Meal replacement supplement at the end of your workout). 8:30pm: Dinner: A chicken breast (aprox 8 oz + some rice or other starch carb + if you want also eat some veggies) Before Bed:  Meal replacement supplement + milk.
Hypertension and Vitamin DVitamin D is one of the essential vitamins that are required for strong and healthy bones. The body synthesizes it in the skin from cholesterol when there is adequate exposure to sunlight. Over the past decade, vitamin D has been intriguing medical researchers the world over. Several studies were conducted and interesting results found. One of them being that vitamin D may be implicated in influencing blood pressure levels. As per studies conducted, it was found that low levels of vitamin D lead to high blood pressure levels. People living in high altitudes where sunlight is at a minimum level were found to be hypertensive. Also, the winter season showed an increase in hypertension cases which was again attributed to the low sunlight levels. What exactly does vitamin D do to affect the blood pressure? Renin is an enzyme secreted by the kidneys that constricts the blood vessels and increases the blood pressure. Vitamin D acts by inhibiting this renin. Insulin resistance causes high blood pressure, which is why hypertension often has co-morbidity with diabetes mellitus. Vitamin D helps in improving the body's sensitivity to insulin. Calcium deposits on the arterial walls harden them and make them lose their elasticity leading to an increase in the pressure of blood flowing through them. Vitamin D helps the body to better absorb and metabolize the calcium. The role of vitamin D in strengthening bones is very clear. Though the studies have shown that people having deficiency in vitamin D tend to develop hypertension, the role of vitamin D in this case is still not very clear. Also, whether vitamin D supplements help in lowering blood pressure levels is still to be found out! But all said and done, the research findings cannot be ignored. Moreover, a morning walk is beneficial in many other ways as well! So, get up early, put on your walking shoes and say Hello to the sun! Vitamin D alone will not help you control your BP. You need to keep taking the medications along with the other dietary and life-style changes! An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day!
12 Surprising pain triggersPain, one word that can send shivers down one's spine and can make one go weak in the knees. Such is the effect of pain, you utter the 1st alphabet of this word everyone dreads and you see how the room full of people will stare at you in horror. Now, pain can be of different types, good pains (No! I am not crazy, there is such a thing as good pain, don't get the gist of it, well the good pain is none other than labor pain) and then there is bad pain. Now, bad pain can be caused by a number of things, say you dropping a paper weight on your foot or eating something super cold (that hurts the teeth so much, you can barely talk) worse, pain from an accidental fall. Now, pains are common with both men as well as women, they both have abdominal pains, headaches, muscle pains, and back pains, but there are some forms of pains which are pretty common with the men folks rather than the women. Let's have a look at what those surprising pain triggers are: Wallet: Yes! You heard that right, according to Dr. Mehmet Oz, wallet is known to be one of the major surprising pain triggers. Having your wallet in your back pocket while driving, can cause chronic back pains, pain in the hips as well as shoulders. Since the wallet is in your back pocket, you sit unevenly, with one butt cheek being lower and one higher due to the wallet. So the solution to this problem is to keep your wallet in the glove box of your car or your bag. Phone: Phone, or any kind of technology gadget, is known to be the other surprising pain trigger. Want to know the pain these little gadgets can inflict? Well, it starts from the neck down. Since you are constantly bending down and hovering over your gadget, it can cause back pain, muscle pain, and headaches. Solution: Use a stand to hold these gadgets, so you wouldn't have to bend down or hover over your gadgets. Another cost effective solution happens to be taking frequent breaks and relieving yourself of the pain. Extra weight: Yes, the other evil, this is the one thing that can cause physical as well as mental anguish. Gaining a few extra kilos or pounds especially in the abdominal section, can cause massive stress to your spine and also cause realignment of your body structure. The only solution to get rid of this pain is to lead an active lifestyle, eat healthy food, and exercise to shed those extra kilos or pounds. Work schedule: If you have a hectic work schedule, chances are you aren't getting any rest, due to which the stress increases. The only way to get rid of this problem is to find a way out of your crazy schedule and have some time to relax and do activities that you like and enjoy, so that the stress that is mounting up on you can be relieved. Perfume: Shocked, aren't you? Well, this is another one of the pain triggers that can wreak havoc on you. Perfumes are known to contain certain fragrances and chemicals that can cause headaches. The only solution is to stop using perfumes that have those chemicals and use a fan at work, so that lingering smell of perfume won't give you a headache. Bad weather: This is another one that causes more pain or mental anguish. Bad weather can cause mood swings and terrible headache. The solution to this problem is taking a painkiller on the day of the bad weather to save you further from the throbbing headache. Bright lights: These can often cause a bad eye soar, not only that, they are also responsible for migraines. The solution is use sunglasses whenever out on the sun. Exercise: This might make you men folks go crazy, but the truth is too much of an exercise can also cause pain. Where, you might ask? Well, how about the muscles or headaches or even back pains for that reason. The solution to this problem is to stop exercising, well not totally, but, you should only exercise for the amount of time prescribed by your trainer or doctor. You don't need to go overboard. Cuts of meats: Yeah, these cuts or cold cuts as they are known, are one of the major reasons of causing headaches and stomach aches. The solution to this problem is to avoid eating raw or frozen foods as much as possible. Skipping Meals: You don't need to be an "Einstein" to figure this one out. Skipping meals, whatsoever the reason maybe, causes the blood sugar levels to drop down to a considerably low level which can cause migraines or severe headaches. The solution to this problem is to eat at regular intervals; this way you won't have headaches and your calories will also remain in check. Smoking: Don't be surprised, smoking has a slew of risks attached to it. Well, to begin with it causes asthma, it causes cancer (ranging from the esophagus to the lung), but it also causes frequent headaches. The only solution to help you get rid of these ailments and pains is to stop smoking. Caffeine: The pain related to caffeine is more mental or psychological than anything else. If you are a person who is addicted to caffeine, chances are you can't live without it. The solution to this problem is slowly and steadily cutting down the amount of caffeine you have. Shocked are you at the kind of things that can cause pain? Well, no need to be! Our body can shock us in ways we can't imagine. So don't be surprised the next time you have any sudden outbursts of pains.
Sex after 40Sexual changes in normal aging after 40: Erection takes longer time Require manual stimulation, particularly by partner Erection may subside during foreplay or coitus Decreased frequency of nocturnal erection Pre-ejaculatory fluid decrease or absent Ejaculation less forceful Seminal fluid volume decreases or absent Frequency of desire for sexual release decreases with age. Aged couples learn to cope with their own sexuality. Some are happy with foreplay and self masturbation, others insist on more usually it is the male. Frequency of sexual intercourse between 20-95 years : Sexual intercourse decreases with age as the study shows. Decreased during 5year interval after 34 years Weekly frequency: 30 - 34 years 2.2%; 60 - 64 years 0.7%; 65  - 74 years 0.4%; 75 - 79 years 0.3% Do we need to change this pattern with Viagra? I would say yes - sex can be  joyful till the last days. Nobody needs to be impotent now. Home devices like rubber bands, ribbons are also used to hold the blood back in the penis when the erection is not adequate. Vacuum pump to draw blood into penis with an application of a ring after erection is also found suitable by some. Active intervention by drugs (both allopathy, ayurvedic and unani) have been successfully developed. They may be applied topically (minidoxil), inhaled (amyl nitrate) inserted into the urethral passage, injected into the corpus cavernosa or taken orally (Sildenafil, Tadalafil, etc.). Finally if all fails silastic rods can be implanted in the penis to give permanent erection. The joy of living lasts a life time.
Psychological impotenceSex is not just physical but just as equally mentally involved. Mental stimulation and response are responsible for arousal and overall enjoyment; and therefore any sort of psychological disturbance or mental issues like stress, tension, or anxiety can lead to psychological impotence. Stress or exhaustion are most possible explanations for psychological impotence. Depression and post-traumatic stress disorder also may result in impotence. A mental trauma of sexual or physical abuse, guilt due to sexual relationship, problems amongst partners contribute too. Confusion over one's sexual identity is also a major cause for impotence. Impotence results from underlying physical disorders, especially if the people choose to stay unaware of it. Absence of knowledge of this disorder leads to anxiety and stress building up over a period of time.  So when determining factors rule out physical causes first and then go for identifying mental causes. Psychological impotence can be sometimes situational or only with a particular partner and the treatment approach differs with the cause. Counseling works wonders in the case of psychological impotence. For example, depression or anxiety may require treatment to improve condition. Post-traumatic stress disorder or abuse needs therapy on coping skills. Sometimes simply explaining underlying cause of physical condition resulting in impotence and comfort and reassurance are sufficient. So don't hold back, share to get your mojo back!!
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