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Aging milestonesChanges in old age depends on attitude as much as person to person. In young old age some changes begin to take place in a person’s appearance. Wrinkles, warts, age spots begin to form on the body. Hair begins to thin or becomes grey and even height lessens because the bone density decreases. While in ‘old‘ old age these changes are already permanent. Men might look distinguished if in good health, but women all look grandmotherly. In ‘young’ old age, cells begin to decay and muscle mass declines and immunity is no longer as strong as it used to be. People lose energy as the age progresses.  ‘Old’ old age brings in a lot of physical decline, profound changes in appearance and motor abilities, as also in sensation. Skin gets less elastic and becomes thin and blood vessels can break under the skin. The senses also begin to become dull. Eye lenses get affected and color perception and reading ability becomes very low. Hearing loss may lead to paranoia and ‘old’ old age people begin to think everyone is plotting against them because they can’t hear properly about what others are saying. Sense of smell also declines, but the taste remains almost intact. In ‘young’ old age, reflexes also slow down and so do the motor abilities. By the time they reach ‘old‘ old age most adults find that their response time has become quite reduced. This can be seen most in driving situations where it is difficult for ‘old‘ old aged adults to operate their vehicles as they have poor spontaneous responses. The ‘young’ old adults do not lose as much of their motor abilities as the ‘old‘ old adults, especially when holding small things like needles and pins. Of course, there are changes in sexuality and there may be a decline in the ability to have sex as men may not have an erection and women become dry due to lack of female hormones. Cognitive decline in 40% to 60% of older adults can be arrested with remedial training. Despite all the changes, most people even in their 70s remain comparatively active if they do not suffer any illness. Mental, physical, and social activity is necessary to maintain the quality of life. Old people begin to withdraw from work and other important roles and allow the younger people to take over. They are a lot happier as is also advised in Vedic literature as vridhashram. While activities are important, disengagement is equally important. Memory loss becomes aggravated and other cognitive abilities begin to decline and there are many ‘old‘ old adults who get Alzheimer’s and lose the ability to look after themselves. Old people also dwell on questions of death and sometimes go through a phase of denial and then anger that they have so little time left. Acceptance of death comes, but after a struggle and the idea of losing the family saddens them. Old people require support in their declining years as they begin to lose their faculties.
10 pregnancy risk factors that every pregnant woman should be aware ofFollowing are the possible risk factors for pregnant women: Hypertension: Blood pressure rises during pregnancy due to changes in osmotic level. Persistent high blood pressure leads to a condition called as pre-eclampsia. It retards the growth of the baby in the womb and can even result into death of foetus. It can lead to convulsions in mother. Exposure to medicines and drugs: Self medication is a strict NO NO during pregnancy. Certain drugs have harmful effect on the growth and development of baby. Take gynaecologist's opinion and ask a doctor before taking any medication.  Smoking: Smoking retards the growth of foetus (baby in womb). Moms who indulge in smoking give birth to babies with a very low birth weight. It also increases chances of miscarriage. Mother's weight: It is important to make sure that there is a steady weight gain during pregnancy. A weight gain of 11 kilograms is expected over a period of 9 months. Watch for a steady weight gain for a healthy pregnancy sake. Anaemia: There is an increase in blood volume during pregnancy. This can cause the iron levels to drop down resulting in anaemia. Haemorrhoids add further to the iron loss. Iron and folic acid are therefore prescribed. Haemorrhoids: Haemorrhoids are common during pregnancy and after pregnancy due to constipation which is because of hormone induced reduced motility of intestine. The pressure of gravid uterus on intestine may also cause it. Increased consumption of green leafy vegetables and laxative would relieve it. Alcohol: Drinking can cause a harmful effect on the growth and nourishment of child. Child may be born with a serious medical problem. Sexual intercourse: It's strictly not advised during last trimester. Radiation exposure: Exposure to radiotherapy or chemicals in the surrounding should be avoided. Bleeding per vagina: Consult your gynaecologist soon, if you have problem of bleeding per vagina. It could be a sign of abortion.  
Fitness mantras during pregnancyYou must be wondering how Shilpa Shetty maintained her fitness even after bearing a child. The simple answer is that she never gave up exercising. Exercising during and after pregnancy is the best way to stay in shape and ensure your mental and physical healthiness. It also helps you in preparing for labour pain and delivery, and quick recovery postpartum. However, there are some things you need to keep in mind while exercising during pregnancy: Measure your fitness You need to determine how fit you are. This will help in determining the type and duration of exercising during pregnancy and post pregnancy. Also, before you continue your old exercise routine or begin a new one, you should talk to your doctor about exercising while you're pregnant. Pregnancy is a balancing act After the fourth month of pregnancy, it's likely you will lose balance while you exercise. Though your baby is well protected with amniotic sac, it is better to be safe than sorry. Safe exercises Activities such as swimming, walking, yoga, pilates, and low-impact aerobics are good choices. Pregnancy is not the right time to start any new intensive exercise, but it is safe to continue with most types of exercise if you're used to them. The things you should avoid Avoid exercises where you are likely to lose your balance or could make you fall or slip. Vigorous or extreme activities such as horse riding, skiing, mountain climbing are out of the question. They carry too high a risk of injury to your tummy. Avoid exercises such as: Sit-ups Standing on one leg Separating your legs widely You should also avoid most contact sports, such as football, basketball and so on. Finally, give racket sports a miss if you're not a regular player as they can be tough on your knees and ankles. Check with your doctor Consult the doctor before starting with any new or unusual exercise. Check for any complications or unusual conditions. Also, discuss for any concern such as: Pregnancy-induced high blood pressure Early contractions Vaginal bleeding Premature rupture of your membranes, also known as waters (the fluid in the amniotic sac around the fetus) breaking early The best outfit for exercise Clothes should be comfortable and loose fitting while exercising. Wear a supportive bra which protects the breasts and is also relaxing. If your shoe size has changed because of mild swelling, you may want to buy a new one. Duration of the exercise Exercising three to four times a week is necessary. This reduces stress, fights fatigue, and stabilizes emotions in early pregnancy. Start gradually, may be with only five minutes a day, if you were totally inactive before. Add five minutes each day till you reach 30 minutes. Also keep in mind to avoid exercise on an empty stomach. Eat a snack 30 minutes before exercise. Never over do Listen to your body when it says 'stop'. Over exercising causes overheating. Raising your core temperature too much can affect the baby adversely. Always sip water before, during and after exercising. Listening to your body when something hurts or doesn't feel right - that means stop. Drink a lot of water Try to drink about two glasses of water two hours before you begin exercising. Take a sports bottle of water with you when you exercise and take frequent sips from it. It's important you don't get dehydrated. This may raise your body temperature, which may not be good for you or your baby.  Keeping these points in mind, exercise to stay healthy and fit. We hope you soon give birth to a healthy kid.  
16 myths about baby careA new mother experiences a range of emotions. Chief among these is fear, which is a result of the love and attachment that she feels for the baby. In such situations, mothers often tend to believe myths that make no logical or medical sense. Myth 1: If I don't breastfeed my baby immediately after the birth, I won't be able to bond with him adequately. Fact: Although the first few hours of a baby's life are important for both mother and child, sometimes due to unavoidable circumstances, the baby is kept away from the mother. For instance, in cases of cesarean delivery, the new born babies need immediate medical attention, and hence are kept away from the mothers.  However, the love and care you show the child over the years will more than make up for the loss of attachment with the baby during its first few hours. Myth 2: Pinching the baby's nose will make it pointed. Fact: Pinching the nose will only hurt the baby. It will not make the nose pointed. It is possible for a baby to be born with a flat or tilted nose if it gets pressed during delivery. But this is temporary and the nose becomes normal as the nasal bridge develops completely. Myth 3: Mothers should not use yellow clothes and yellow food while breastfeeding as it causes jaundice in the newborn.  Fact: The color of the mother's clothes can't affect the baby's health. There isn't any evidence to show the relationship between yellow food, clothes and jaundice. Myth 4: Umbilical cord stump should be cleaned with alcohol swab every time after changing diaper.  Fact: Alcohol may delay the healing. It is recommended to keep stump clean and dry till it falls off. Myth 5: Some babies can be allergic to mother's milk.  Fact: No. A baby is never allergic to mother's milk. Myth 6: Baby should be wrapped up tightly. This helps to straighten the hands and feet.  Fact: A child's limbs develop faster when they are free to move and not wrapped. Myth 7: Holding the baby all the time will spoil him. Fact: Babies cry to express pain, anger, irritability, hunger, sleep everything. Holding or picking him up to comfort won't make him a spoiled child. Myth 8: Do not take your newborn baby outside. Always keep him in the house.  Fact: Fresh air is good for the baby too. Just avoid heat, crowds and unhygienic places. Myth 9: Vaccines cause autism. Do not vaccinate the baby.  Fact: It is a rumor. Immunization is very important to protect the baby against a number of diseases. Myth 10: Babies do not spit up if they are breastfed.  Fact: It is normal for the babies to burp, spit up, and drool. Do not worry about it if the baby is gaining weight normally. Myth 11: Sleeping on the head causes flat head.  Fact: It is advised medically that all babies should sleep on the back to prevent sudden infant death syndrome. Alternate the head position daily as flat head can be caused only if baby sleeps in same position daily for long time. It is an occasional occurrence.  Myth 12: Putting few drops of oil in baby's ears will keep it clean.  Fact: Do not put oil in the baby's ears. It can hurt the tiny eardrums leading to pain, soreness, and even hearing loss. Oil can cause ear infection too. Myth 13: Use crib bumpers to protect head of your baby. Fact: They are not advisable. The baby's head can get wedged against a bumper causing strangulation or suffocation. Bumpers are dangerous. Myth 14: Stop mother's milk if baby fed only on breast milk has loose motions.  Fact: Passing 5-6 loose motions is normal in a baby. Continue to breastfeed. Do not stop it. Myth 15: Attention span is very short in babies.  Fact: Babies, in fact, have excellent attention spans and have interest in the all things around them. This is why babies learn things so quickly.  Myth 16: Wrap up the baby in blanket if he has fever. Sweating will bring the fever down.  Fact: The fever will rise if you wrap the baby in a blanket. Try to keep the child cool and sponge him with cold/warm water to bring down the fever with the doctor's advice.    
Accepting your flawsThere are basically two kinds of 'flaws,' one that is physical and the other that is in your personality. A physical 'flaw' like being too short, fat, or darkis never a person's fault. Thus accepting what you are can only boost your self-esteem and confidence. Despite these 'shortcomings,' it is your character and your achievements that stand out in the long run and not the way you look. The first step in creating a better life is accepting if you are wrong! Personality traits and habits are mostly visible to others but not to you. These are those faults that can cause bitterness in relationships or cause problems at work or in our social interactions. Some people lose their temper easily, some are lazy, and some are rude, while some are either introverts or extroverts. If you have flaws that can cause problems for others then the best thing you can do is to change those negative traits in yourself. Character flaws might be natural, but they can affect others negatively. The first thing in making improvements is to analyze yourself. What are you so angry about ? Is it really some other person's fault or that you have had a bad day at the office? Give it a thought and once you find the answers, you will feel relieved. Accept your physical flaws and love yourself for what you are, as this is the key to lasting happiness. Major flaws like alcoholism, splurging money, borrowing money, or addictions are what one should be willing to overcome. If you accept you have any of these major flaws and need help to overcome them, then you need to seek help. There are professionals who can help out, provided you are a willing party to the process. Improvement will come only if you are willing to change. Remember that flaws are easy to acknowledge and to change;the only thing required is the desire within you to do so.
Building self confidence by improving body languageSo what have they told you? That only physically attractive people have the right to self-confidence? That you either have it in you or you don't? Let's face it, confidence is the key to anything and everything. Right from driving a car to handling work to dating, confidence is what separates the proverbial wheat from the chaff. What you need to remember is that the mind speaks the body language. Conversely if you change your body language, then it has an impact on the mind as well. Mr.Hunched Over This guy is the classic example of a person who just doesn't like himself. The world is a mighty dangerous place for him. Just look at the way he walks. Shoulders all hunched over, head down as he shuffles rather than walk. Mr. Hunched Over generally finds it difficult to look people in the eye as he speaks and he last is handshake is as limp as his mind. He crosses his arms tightly, touches his nose all the time to see if it has grown since he lied through it. Mr. Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk This chap is diametrically the opposite of the first kind. He exudes an air of confidence in his walk, manner and speech. He has a confident stride which is helped by the fact that he stands to his height with his head held high, chin tucked in and shoulders squared back. This is what gives him the confidence as this posture is designed for efficiency. Mind you, he isn't ram rod straight, just straight enough so that his ears are in line with his shoulders and hips. The chest is also out since the shoulders are drawn back towards the hip. This facilitates deep, even and diaphragmatic breathing which prevents anxiety. His hand shake is firm. As he offers his hand, he exerts just the right pressure on the other person's hand to indicate a strong grip. This is no wrestling bout, so the confident man always exerts just the right kind of pressure in a hand shake.  He maintains eye contact with the person he is talking to; not a staring about, but normal eye contact, one which won't make the other person conscious of being stared at. He looks away from time to time to give his eyeballs a rest. This is why he comes across as genuine and not shift eyed and restless. To be Mr.-Or- Ms. Walk the Walk Always square your shoulders and keep your head held high when you walk. You might seem imperious or high handed at first, but then it will work wonders on your self-esteem and you will begin to feel differently about yourself. You needn't even be a tall person to come across as cool and confident-just stand up to your own height and see the miracle. Breathe slowly steadily and deeply. Use your abdominal muscles to draw in your breath rather than engaging your neck muscles which end up making you a shallow breather and plus you also tend to hunch easily if you don't feel your rib cage and stomach expand as you breathe in. Practice standing and speaking in front of the mirror. It will show you exactly how you appear to others. Practice your walk in front of a video camera and keep a record of your metamorphosis.
Diet to help manage stressYou cannot avoid stress, as it has now become an integral part of modern lifestyle. Children are worried about their exams and performances in the cultural events, teenagers are stressed out about their looks and body shape, adults take stress owing to competition at work, and so on. One thing is sure that you cannot stay away from stress. So, how can you avoid the side effects caused due to stress? You can include certain foods in your diet that help manage your level of stress. Researchers are already on to it, studying the effects of various foods on the stress levels. It is always better to choose from the organically harvested nuts, veggies, fruits, and fish for better health benefits. Nori Sushi nori is a type of seaweed that is rich in magnesium that contains anxiety-fighting properties. Magnesium is also known for stress reducing abilities. Apart from this, it also carries other essential health nutrients that are necessary for the overall development of health. Vitamin C Foods Cantaloupe is composed of vitamin C that is a renowned stress buster. Another great stress busting food is orange. When you are under stress, adrenal glands in your body start producing cortisol that lowers your immune system's capacity. This leads to breaking down of muscle tissue. Vitamin C in oranges have the ability to return the high blood pressure to normal level. Moreover, when you are stressed there are chances of this vitamin getting used up and hence the need to increase your intake of vitamin C rich foods. Another popular vitamin C enriched food is blueberries that are also packed with lots of antioxidants which relieve stress. Almonds Almond is a treasure trove of essential nutrients such as vitamin E, B2, zinc, and magnesium. Although they are high in fat, they provide your body with all these essential nutrients. You can easily have a handful of almonds every day and still feel less guilty about.  Apart from the fat, energy, and the essential nutrients, almonds give the brain and its memory a shot in the arm. Broccoli Broccoli is rich in vitamin B and folic acid, both proven stress busters that helps in giving you relief from panic, anxiety, stress, and depression. Bananas Bananas contain one of the most important amino acids - tryptophan that gets transformed into serotonin which is a stress-busting hormone that is known to induce a feeling of well being. This makes you happier and gives you relief from stress. Banana is also rich in potassium. Potassium regulates the heart due to which the blood pressure can be kept under control. That is why many health experts recommend inclusion of a potassium-rich diet, as it normalizes your heart rate and help you calm down in stressful situations. This makes banana an essential food addition to your diet. Chocolate The dark chocolates are bitter and give you a feeling of satiation despite the little amount you devour. Due to this feeling, you eat less, but you still enjoy the flavor of the chocolate, much more than the milk chocolate varieties. When you are under stress, most of your body organs are vulnerable to damage. The antioxidants polyphenols that are present in the dark chocolate slow down the damage and also contribute in its repair. Studies have also revealed that 40 grams of dark chocolate per day helps reduce stress-causing hormones such as catecholamine and cortisol. Increasing the intake of stress busting foods in your daily diet can help control diabetes and hypertension.
5 Muscle building smoothiesProtein is highly important for muscle building as it repairs the muscles and help in their rapid recovery after a workout. That is why most of the trainers recommend taking protein smoothies after workouts. Generally, banana and peanut butter alternatively, are used to add the protein content to the smoothies. Apart from these, Chocolate is a hot favourite as well. But if these do get boring, here are some smoothie ideas, only for you. Hot Cocoa (bed-time and post workout) Ingredients: 1-cup milk (fat-free), 1 scoop whey protein chocolate, 1 packet Swiss Miss Diet hot Cocoa and ½-cup cottage cheese (low fat). Recipe Heat the milk and just when it gets to the boiling point, blend it in the blender with the protein, cottage cheese and cocoa until smooth. Ensure that the mixture has mixed well. This protein smoothie can be taken just before bedtime as well, because the cottage cheese contains slow digesting proteins that are great for overnight muscle repairing. Each glass of the Hot Cocoa smoothie contains: Calories-275 Protein-44 gms Carbs-20 gms Fat-1 gm Fiber-0gm Root Beer Float (post-workout) Ingredients: 1 scoop vanilla flavored whey protein, ½ cup vanilla yoghurt (fat free(, 1 scoop vanilla casein protein and 1 ½ cup root beer Recipe In a bowl mix all the protein powders into the yogurt slowly and stir well to avoid clumps. Now, pour the root beer in a large beer glass and add this mixture of yoghurt carefully, without stirring. Since the root beer starts carbonation process, the shake becomes quite frothy without having to use a blender for mixing. Each large glass of the Root Beer Float smoothie contains: Calories-443 Protein-48gms Carbs-61 gms Fat-1 gm Fiber-1 gm Post workout or pre-workout smoothies provide the necessary protein to the body that contributes in rapid muscle recovery and growth. Peach Cobbler (pre-workout) Ingredients: 1-cup water, ½ can of sliced peaches with juice, 1 scoop vanilla whey and 1 packet Quakers Instant Oatmeal (lower sugar maple and brown sugar) Recipe Mix all the ingredients in a blender and serve. Use an immersion blender for this one, to get a finely mixed smoothie. Each glass of the Peach Cobbler smoothie contains: Calories-305 Protein-24 gms Carbs-49 gms Fat- 2 gms Fiber-3 gms Orange Creamsicle (pre-workout) Ingredients: 1-cup orange juice, ½ cup fat-free yoghurt (vanilla flavor) and 1 scoop vanilla whey protein Recipe Mix all the ingredients in the blender and enjoy your smoothie. Ensure that you use real orange juice and not the flavored orange drinks for this one to get the desired result. One glass of the Orange Creamsicle smoothie contains: Calories-280 Protein-27gms Carbs-43 gms Fat-1 gm Fiber-2 gms Chocolate Almond Brownie (pre workout or early morning) Ingredients: 1 cup milk (fat-free), ¼ cup almonds (chopped), ½ Clif brownie bar (chocolate flavor-chopped finely) and 1 scoop of chocolate flavored whey protein Recipe Mix the milk and the flavored protein in the blender and serve with almonds and Clif bar topping. Use a spoon as you will be eating as well as drinking the shake, because the almonds and the bar chips can settle to the bottom. One glass of this Chocolate Almond Brownie smoothie contains: Calories -457 Protein-39 gms Carbs-41 gms Fat-17 gms Fiber-8 gms
How to communicate with a patient who has a strokeThe first and the most important thing to communicate with the patient, is to give undivided attention. Give attention to his activities, gestures, his facial expressions through which he may try to communicate so his feelings could be understood. Eye contact is also important but the patient having stroke may look at you square in the eyes but he may not respond to your conversation. While communicating with the patient you should always stand in front and tune out all the other sights and sounds in the room. Maintain full silence around the patient in the room, turn down the volume of the television, radio and ask other people in the room to be silent. You may communicate with the patient by making contact by touching the hand, chin, cheek or areas which are not affected by stroke. As the side which is affected by stroke, does not have any sensations. You may communicate with the patient through his family member by telling the family member to communicate with patient by saying, "Look at my face"; through this we can gain the patient's concentration. You should always speak clearly with the patient in a normal soft volume. Express your ideas in simple terms, form simple sentences, do not use complex words. You may repeat the sentences or an important term again. For example to ask if the patient wants tea, repeat the word 'tea'. More complex thoughts can also be similarly conveyed and repeated. You may also use hand gestures with clarification like doing Hello by waving your hand or through your hand action, you may ask questions like, How are you? Are you ok? What do you want? Through this both caregiver and stroke patient can benefit. You may ask your patient to point out whatever he wants or if he needs anything. And gradually he will develop the habit of pointing the daily items like television, newspaper, remote, eyeglasses radio, drapes an uncomfortable foot, the patient can indicate any pain or headache. Through this communication we can make the patient learn, use mechanical lifts to get in and out of the bed, and with the help of the attendant by demonstrating the patient how to use it. Sometimes when the communication does not work, take a break, give it time and try again, do not get frustrated and reassure the patient that yes, he or she can do it. Good communication with the patient is very important as they cannot speak their basic wants and needs clearly. The patients suffered a stroke also have slurred speech. There is a deviation of the angle of mouth. They are mostly bed ridden and could not carry out the routine activities.
Stay healthy, keep flu at bayKeep the influenza virus away from you by following these simple routines : Wash your hands!Hands are a germ factory. Innumerable things are touched by us through the course of a day and that lends the germs a perfect breeding ground. Hence, it becomes imperative that we clean our hands thoroughly, especially before eating. Always keep a sanitizer handy in case you don have access to water and soap. Even while you wash your hands with soap and water, do not rush with the process. Wash thoroughly at least for 20 seconds. Clean the surfaces!Computer keyboards, tables, pens and pencils, shared stationary are all great places to find the flu virus. Regularly clean these surfaces with an alcohol-based disinfectant that will kill these germs. Exercise!Nothing can be as good as regular physical exercise for maintaining good health. Regular exercising boosts the immunity. This makes you fall ill less often. It also gives you greater resistance against viruses so you will not be affected by them no matter how strong the exposure. Top up on vitamin C!Vitamin C is known to boost your immunity levels. It also increases the resistance against viruses. Eat a lot of citrus fruits like oranges and tomatoes. Amla, that is a rich source of vitamin C, can also be consumed in the form of juice or eaten raw! Chicken soup for the ill-soul!Chicken soup is known to be the most effective against the flu virus. So if you feel you are coming down with a flu fever, rush to the kitchen and fix up some nourishing chicken soup for yourself. Nothing works as effectively as this does. Try poking yourself!The ancient Chinese system of medicine, acupuncture, has been known to treat everything from headaches to nausea to arthritis. Acupuncture experts may prick at particular pressure points with hair like needles to keep flu at bay and to reduce the severity if already infected. Though there is no significant scientific evidence against it, there is absolutely no harm in trying it, if you can tolerate the pain from the needles!. OTC drugs!Over-the-counter medications are available in plenty for flu symptoms. The achy feeling all over the body, the sore throat, and the muscle pain are the worst symptoms of flu. Doctors suggest that you do not over-medicate yourself. Instead of going for multi-drug combinations, doctors advise you go for generic medicines like acetaminophen for fever and a cough suppressant. Garlic pods!These smelly things can be of great use when it comes to prevent a lot of diseases, the flu included. Studies show that people who ate two or three pods of garlic daily had better resistance against the flu virus and fell ill less often. Proactive Probiotics!The strength of your immune system lies in your gut, called gut-associated lymphoid tissue or GALT. Almost 80% of the immunity comes from your gut. To keep the gut healthy, eat a lot of probiotic, pro-GALT foods like yoghurt. Sleep well!Sleep is the most essential component of staying healthy. A well-relaxed body is fitter and stronger and will have better immunity against diseases! Prevention is always the better form of cure. Stay protected and stay healthy.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
Reasons for skipping sexThe most important satisfaction brick in a marriage's foundation, sex is where we show the greatest trust, most openly express intimacy and make ourselves most vulnerable. It is the most personal and private area of our relationship. It is the one area that separates this relationship from all others. Yet, there are times for both husbands and wives when sex becomes a burden and not a blessing, an inconvenience instead of intimacy, and a job instead of jubilee. Curious as to why people might be skipping sex? This is only a partial list and far from exhaustive. Reasons related to your body: I have a migraine. I have a stomachache. My body is too tired. My breasts are too sore. I am too sleepy. I can't keep my eyes open. I just need to take a little nap first. Okay, but I have a rash. Okay, but I have several weird looking cold sores. Reasons related to your emotions: I am depressed. I am worried. I am sad. Cry Reasons related to your kids: The kids are still up. We might wake up the kids. I just had a baby. This baby is wearing me out. Reasons related to your experts: My therapist said I need to give myself some time. My counselor said I should create some boundaries. I have to see my Gynecologist tomorrow. The Doctor gave me these sleeping pills for stress and I just took one. Reasons related to your spouse: Who was that girl / guy you were talking to on the phone? Sex, Sex, Sex All you ever want is sex! Why can't you just hold me? You should have asked in a more romantic way! Why do you have to use such crude language? Reasons related to your weather: It's just too hot. It's just too cold. It's too humid. Reasons related to your economy: When the economy improves. When the interest rates go down. When inflation goes down Reasons related to your special circumstances: We just got back from vacation! When I lose 20 kgs. Reasons related to your friends: I need to make a call first. My friend said they only do it once a month. Reasons related to your pets: The dog can see us. The cat is on the bed. Reasons related to your finances: Okay, but first we need to talk about the bills. Why did you charge this hotel room on our credit card? Reasons related to your job or boss: I have to get up early tomorrow. I was up all night last night. I had a long day at work today. The boss just gave me a new project and I have a lot of work to do Reasons related to your religion: Doesn't the Bible warn against having too much sex. I am sorry, but I just took a vow. I am giving up sex for Lent. Reasons related to your in-laws: We are in your parent's house. I have not been able to concentrate since your mother Your parents will hear us. Offer an alternative: Can I just take care of you in the shower? Okay, but you have to drive the kids to school in the morning. Use evasive tactics: Sneak in and go to sleep early. Okay, but let's watch this movie first. It's just too late. I'll be there in a minute. (Take an hour) Can we just cuddle? I just need you to hold me. Ask a sensitive question: Did you go to the bank and make our deposit today? Have you seen the kid's report cards? Wait for your spouse to tease you and then say coldly, well, you just lost whatever you were going to get tonight.
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