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The moody man - Mood swings in menMen, such jokes on a woman's monthly mood swings are passe. Recent research proves that men are equally prone to have mood swings. Have you experienced a myriad of emotions? Angry, irritated, feeling helpless, self-pity, an irrational urge to throw things and cry and be depressed all at the same time? These are signs of mood swings. And the point of interest here is that you don't have to be a woman to experience mood swings. Men face their share of mood swings too! Men undergo hormonal influence too. And like women this causes them too to be irritable and cranky. The difference here is that the hormonal fluctuations are not as severe in men as in women. So the mood change lasts for a lesser time compared to a woman. Men's moods are also affected by psychological and physiological stressors. So a man who has to work against time to meet a deadline will be very irritable. A man who is deprived of sleep will end up snapping at you for no apparent reason. The myth that men don't cry, is something that men take to heart. Men are emotional beings and it is okay to show some of the emotions. The male stereotypical image is such that if a man is expressive of his emotional side, he isn't considered macho enough. Hence men tend to internalize their emotions and feelings. Often this leads to chronic depression. Taming the mood swings. Any form of physical exercise helps keep the mood in balance. This helps in keeping the aggressiveness under check. Sex is also a great way to release the stress and feel better, rather than snapping and using profanities. Another helpful way is to ask yourself 'why'. Whenever you feel that you are doing something irrational or out of character, ask yourself why. The answer you get from yourself will help clear the situation and you will end up handling it in a mature fashion. The irritable male syndrome. This is the male equivalent of the female menopause - The Andropause. It covers the symptoms seen in middle-aged men that occur due to the drop in testosterone levels. Like women, men show mood changes, bouts of irritability, grumpiness, hypersensitivity, anxiety and frustration. The recent research on men having mood swings and the society's acceptance of these findings is very encouraging. It helps stress in the fact that men are emotional too. There is nothing anti-macho about a man crying his heart out at times. It only shows he is human, after all.
Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
Hair straightening do's and don'tsWhat's in a hair? Well when someone thought of this quote, he or she certainly did not foresee the future because in today's world hair is everything. For a woman and a caterpillar at least! Let's just talk about women! Hair not only covers your scalp, but also protects it.  Hair is known to be something that enhances the beauty of a woman, as there is nothing like the feel of smooth and silky hair caressing the shoulders. Women all over the world dream to have beautiful, strong, silky, and preferably, long straight hair. Why straight hair? Let's find out, women are born with all kinds of hair, curly, wavy, long, and short but according to some women there is nothing that beats having a straight hair and there are women in this world who could go to any length achieving that straight hair they always desired. One of those ways is straightening, a styling technique used since the 1980's, which involves the flattening as well as straightening of hair, to give it a smooth, streamlined, and a sleek look. Straightening can be of two types, temporary or permanent. Temporary straightening can be achieved by a straightening iron or relaxers and generally lasts up to the first wash. Permanent hair straightening generally requires the use of Lye and other chemicals (more commonly known as creamy crack) with the help of a hot comb, hot iron, and relaxers. Permanent straightening, with proper care, can easily last up to a year. According to documentary "Good Hair" by actor Chris Brown, African American women are known for their profound use of "creamy crack" to get that perfect straight hair they long for. They are also the women who make the cosmetic companies rich, thanks to their profound use of hair straightening and hair care related products. African American women also account for the highest amount of money spent on hair care and hair care related products. Coming in a close second are the women from Central and South East Asia. These women are also known to go to extremes to get that perfect straight hair look, which is generally shown in TV Commercials endorsed by celebrities. Now that we are aware of the statistics, it is time that we look into the do's and don'ts of hair straightening. Straightening your hair once in a while may sound like a good idea, but it is extremely essential that we understand that extreme care is required here. Hence it is always better to know the do's and don'ts before we decide to break the bank (straightening ain't cheap) for straightening treatments. Do's : Make sure your diets consist of plenty of healthy foods, water. Also doing regular exercise is advised. Always use a shampoo and conditioner that best suits you. Remember to ask your stylist about the kind of products that suit you. Always go for hair spa treatment once a month since your hair needs that extra nourishing. Don'ts : Do not wet your hair at least for three days after the treatment. Do not tuck your hair behind your ear. Avoid twisting your wet hair with a towel. Avoid extreme scrubbing of your hair while shampooing. Straightening even once can cause excessive damage, hence do not do it repeatedly. Straightening your hair once in a while is okay, but doing it continually is ill advised as it can have a lot of negative consequences. Straightening also comes with certain side effects such as heavy chemical reaction, dizziness, permanent hair damage, dryness, skin irritation, itchiness, and severe chemical burns. Hence, it's always better to have a professional do it at a salon rather than doing it yourself. Hair straightening, though done by the same method all around the world, requires different types of hair care products as the hair type is mostly related to your race and ethnicity and your geographical location.
Pamper the newborn without forgetting yourselfIf you are a new mom, chances are you are busy 24/7. The baby's complete dependence on you helps you bond with him/her and makes you aware of the responsibility that is now on you. But, your own health is an equally important responsibility. So, you need to give yourself permission to take care, or even pamper yourself from time to time. Here are simple ways for you to look out for yourself. Eat your favorite breakfast: As your day starts, you need fuel to keep your energy levels high. So, grab your hands on healthy and tasty breakfast options like whole grain cereal, skim milk and sliced strawberries or a banana. The combination of lean protein, whole-grain foods, and nutrient-rich fruit allows the brain to form more feel-good chemicals. Don't let stress come near you: We know that a lot of changes in your life have transpired, due to the entry of a baby in your world. The difficulty to cope with the changes may cause stress and depression. Try to avoid stress by asking for your husband's and relatives' support. Take a walk with your baby: Walking with your baby in nearby parks will give you fresh air and it is an excellent form of exercise. Don't be sleep deprived: Having a baby doesn't mean that you have to always sacrifice your sleep. Never miss an opportunity to sleep or take rest. This will keep your energy levels high for the day. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Delegate baby care: Parenting is not your sole responsibility. Ask your husband to lend a hand in taking care of the baby for some time. Not just the husband, if you live in a joint family, you can ask other relatives for help as well. Don't be a multi-tasking person: We know a woman has so many roles to play. But, it doesn't always have to be that way. Being a new mom, you must focus on one activity at a time. You can prioritize your tasks, if you have a lot of things to do. Exercise regularly: Add exercise to your daily routine. Choose the exercise which you love and enjoy, like walking, cycling, yoga, swimming or aerobic dance. Consult a doctor before starting any exercise program.    
A baby - proofed guide to childcareCaring for kids is an important task. Everyone wishes to nourish kids in a loving and caring yet protective atmosphere. Initial stages of development call for more care and attention. Health, hygiene and safety at home and outside are important when it comes to kids. Here are a few helpful tips to all the parents: Nurture your infants with massage. Learn a right way or get it done from a professional. It is a great therapy to make muscles strong and bond with the baby. Prolonged crying bothers parents a lot. Usually continuous crying for long hours is suggestive of colic or stomach ache. It is the most common problem in kids, the reason being immature gastric system. Do not panic. Keep medicines at hand and give them as per instructions by your kid's doctor. Toddlers often insist on being carried even when they know how to walk well. Make sure to hold them comfortably. Diapering a baby is a skill that must be mastered especially when the baby is fidgety. Holding baby in right position flat on the back simplifies the task. Parents adapt to doing the job effortlessly with practice. Transition period of swapping from breastfeed to bottle known as weaning is a tough task for most of the babies. Consider gentle weaning strategies advised by the doctors. Do not be abrupt. Go slow! Some Safety Tips: Cap and lock the medicines, detergents, chemicals etc. in containers keeping them far away from the children. Bathingwater should be always checked before bathing the baby. Do not leave kids alone near water tub or any water source alone. Avoid leaving baby in a highchair to prevent injuries such asbaby climbing out, falling, or sliding. Lock up all the knives, matches, and plastic bags away from children to prevent poisonings, bleeding injuries, burns and suffocation.
A correctable disfigurement of face: Cleft lip and palateThe Times of India reports that "With an incidence of 7 per 1000 children, cleft lip and palate deformity is one of the most common deformities among Indian children." The number of infants born every year with cleft lip and cleft palate in India is 28,600. This means 78 affected infants are born every day or 3 infants with clefts are born every hour. Cleft lip and palate develop early in pregnancy where lack of adequate amounts of tissues lead to two parts of the face failing to join adequately at the middle. A cleft lip or hare lip (as it is commonly called) refers to separation of the two sides of the upper lip. There appears a narrow opening or gap over the skin of the upper lip. This separation may sometimes extend beyond the base of the nose and may involve the upper gum and/or the bones of the upper jaw. A cleft palate refers to the gap between the two edges of the roof of the mouth, causing it to remain open at birth. The bony front portion of the roof of the mouth or the hard palate may be involved alone, or along with the soft palate or the soft back portion of the roof of the mouth. Since lip and the palate develop separately, it is possible to have a cleft lip without a cleft palate or vice versa. Causes of developing cleft lip and cleft palate: The exact cause of cleft lip and palate is unknown. Some research, however, suggests that these clefts are caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. The risk of such clefts thus can be reduced by adopting a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy. This includes avoidance of smoking, alcohol and having a healthy diet to avoid excessive weight gain during pregnancy. Cleft lip and palate can occur alone with no other problems or defects. This is called non-syndromic clefts. They may also occur as part of other birth defects and then may be called part of a syndrome. Cleft lip and palate may occur on one side (unilateral) or may occur on both sides (bilateral). Unilateral cleft lip and palate is more common than bilateral cleft lip and palate. Left-sided cleft lip and palate is twice as common as right-sided cleft lip and palate. The reason for this is unclear. A cleft lip or combined cleft lip and palate are seen more commonly in male babies. Cleft palate alone is more common in female babies. The face of the baby usually develops around 5th and 9th weeks of pregnancy thus this defect may arise early in pregnancy. Treatment of cleft lip and palate: Cleft lip and palate is usually corrected using cosmetic or plastic surgery. Results are usually very good. After treatment, most children have a normal appearance. To prevent and correct associated speech problems and dental problems, treatment is also sought from speech and language therapists, as well as dental surgeons (orthodontic specialists). Excellent results may be seen if the specialists work in tandem.
Building self confidence by improving body languageSo what have they told you? That only physically attractive people have the right to self-confidence? That you either have it in you or you don't? Let's face it, confidence is the key to anything and everything. Right from driving a car to handling work to dating, confidence is what separates the proverbial wheat from the chaff. What you need to remember is that the mind speaks the body language. Conversely if you change your body language, then it has an impact on the mind as well. Mr.Hunched Over This guy is the classic example of a person who just doesn't like himself. The world is a mighty dangerous place for him. Just look at the way he walks. Shoulders all hunched over, head down as he shuffles rather than walk. Mr. Hunched Over generally finds it difficult to look people in the eye as he speaks and he last is handshake is as limp as his mind. He crosses his arms tightly, touches his nose all the time to see if it has grown since he lied through it. Mr. Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk This chap is diametrically the opposite of the first kind. He exudes an air of confidence in his walk, manner and speech. He has a confident stride which is helped by the fact that he stands to his height with his head held high, chin tucked in and shoulders squared back. This is what gives him the confidence as this posture is designed for efficiency. Mind you, he isn't ram rod straight, just straight enough so that his ears are in line with his shoulders and hips. The chest is also out since the shoulders are drawn back towards the hip. This facilitates deep, even and diaphragmatic breathing which prevents anxiety. His hand shake is firm. As he offers his hand, he exerts just the right pressure on the other person's hand to indicate a strong grip. This is no wrestling bout, so the confident man always exerts just the right kind of pressure in a hand shake.  He maintains eye contact with the person he is talking to; not a staring about, but normal eye contact, one which won't make the other person conscious of being stared at. He looks away from time to time to give his eyeballs a rest. This is why he comes across as genuine and not shift eyed and restless. To be Mr.-Or- Ms. Walk the Walk Always square your shoulders and keep your head held high when you walk. You might seem imperious or high handed at first, but then it will work wonders on your self-esteem and you will begin to feel differently about yourself. You needn't even be a tall person to come across as cool and confident-just stand up to your own height and see the miracle. Breathe slowly steadily and deeply. Use your abdominal muscles to draw in your breath rather than engaging your neck muscles which end up making you a shallow breather and plus you also tend to hunch easily if you don't feel your rib cage and stomach expand as you breathe in. Practice standing and speaking in front of the mirror. It will show you exactly how you appear to others. Practice your walk in front of a video camera and keep a record of your metamorphosis.
Lost in wonderland? - Absentmindedness!The Daily Telegraph reports that on an average every adult in UK forgets three things per day. Forgetfulness is a human tendency. If this absentmindedness or forgetfulness is limited to forgetting three to five things per day, then it can be left unattended. However, if you or a near one is facing a lot of trouble in your daily life due to this habit or problem, you should immediately have a consultation with your doctor. Mystery behind Absentmindedness According to Maria Jonsdottir, an investigating neuropsychologist from Iceland, absentmindedness is the mental lapses that usually happen in connection with the actions that are routine or well-rehearsed. You can perform these actions without any need to be careful. This includes regular actions such as squeezing out toothpaste or moisturizer from the tube. These action slips are very common and if you observe carefully, you do forget some such regular things every day unknowingly. Psychologists believe that an individual makes such mental lapses around 30 times in every week. On an average, the nervous system of a human brain runs quite efficiently. However, sometimes temporary fault may develop that may make you use incorrect word or slip to your native tongue while conversing. This does not mean however, that something is wrong with your brain. When the team of Jonsdottir surveyed around 200 people, they found out that on an average the slips are 6.4 per week although the number also greatly depends upon the gender, intelligence level, and age. One startling fact that was discovered is that most of the events of forgetfulness occurred before 8 p.m. that means people tend to forget more during the daytime than in the evening. Apart from a momentary lapse in the functioning of brain efficiency, other reasons that can lead to increase in the incidents of forgetfulness are high stress levels, mobile phones, e-mails, and busy lifestyles. Today, people are pressed for time and they have more work at hand than time and that has increased the occurrence of forgetfulness. Types of Absentmindedness A team of neuropsychologists has divided these mental lapses into five categories. The most common are the storage failures in which people cannot recall what they had planned for a particular occasion or they can recall the action, but cannot remember for whom it was meant. Another category is test failures in which people come back home to check whether they have turned the light off and find out that they have already done so. Discrimination failure is another category of absentmindedness wherein you for a moment fail to identify the difference between your things and others'. During the study, a male participant accepted that he picked up the jacket of his female partner thinking it to be his own. Sometimes you put books in the dustbin and the trash on the shelf and laugh at your behavior a moment later when you find out what you have done. This is discrimination failure. Another mix-up includes program assembly failure wherein you put salt in the tea instead of sugar or you just do not keep the right things at the right place. The fifth one is the sub-routine failure wherein you go to the market to buy tea and instead come back home with coffee. The research proves one thing that if you are absentminded, it does not mean that you have a bad memory or can suffer from dementia as is widely publicized in the media. It is perfectly all right to forget or being an absentminded person. Sometimes the incidences of absentmindedness can increase due to fatigue. A good sleep and rest can fix the problem easily.
When the grey matters!Greying of hair happens to all of us at some point in life. Some may get it early and other fortunate ones may get it when they are 50. Premature greying and hair fall is a common problem faced by 70% of females in India these days. What are the causes of greying of hair and what can be done if your hair starts to go grey early? What are the probable causes of grey hair and hair fall? Deficiency of nutrients in diet. Excessive stress. Dandruff. Diseases like thyroid disorders, anemia, and vitiligo. Side effects of certain medication. Hair problems are seen more in women who smoke or drink. Childbirth and menopause are the periods of life when most of the women invariably have hair loss. Hereditary pattern of premature greying. Today's beauty procedures like coloring, bleaching, dyeing, perming, and straightening cause hair problems at a young age. Environmental pollution. Treatment and prevention Have a balanced diet. Ensure proper nutrients reach your body in every meal. If you are anemic, treat it with proper medication. This can be an underlying cause. Have a good sleep. Avoid tension and stress. Apply oil regularly and massage. Drink lots of water. Avoid exposure to chemicals. What can be done to hide the grey hair? Apply amla oil to your hair to make it healthy. Apply henna, lemon juice, fenugreek seeds paste, made in an iron container, on your hair to give them a color and reduce greying. Boil gooseberry pieces in coconut oil. When they turn black apply it on the hair. If you have 45-50% grey hair then you can use a permanent hair color.
High heels can walk you to the hospital bedHigh heels make a fashion statement which makes us look tall, elegant and good but they cause injuries on a regular basis. High heel shoes have been luxury item once upon a time; today high heels have made themselves a part of every girl's life thanks to supermodels and stars. You will not find any health warning on shoes but they ought to, as they seriously put you at a high risk of numerous health problems. How are high heels and low back painrelated? High heels significantly affect your natural posture and your spine. The natural arch of spine becomes acute when walking in high heels. This poses high risk to the spine getting injured. This not only wears  and tears intervertebral cushions called discs but cause injury to the nerves too.  High heels put strain on muscles of lower back causing pain after a long day of wearing high heels. Nerve trapping, nerve pain and radiculopathy can result from wearing high heels for a long period. This is exhibited     as tingling, numbnessand pain. Arthritis, nerve pain, hammer toes, ingrown toenails and bunions are all common problems due to high heels. Calf muscle shortens and tightens after prolonged use. Jogging, playing, running with high-heeled shoes can tear and rupture calf muscles. What can you do to prevent damage? Firstly ensure your body is in top shape before you start. There is a much less chance of developing low back pain if you are strong and fit. So do activities like swimming, pilates, circuit class, box-exercise and whatever else thatmakes you feel good. Focus on activities that make the abdominal area strong includingyour deep core muscles. Secondly a regular regime of stretching will prevent a lot of problems occurring. Either get involved in a yoga class or make sure you do 10-15 minutes of stretching every day. Stretch your back, your calves and hamstrings especially. Thirdly get sports massage at leastonce-a-month. This will loosen the tightened structures, realign the spine and lengthen the hamstrings, calves and Achillestendon
Stinky feet? Learn why!Most of us have experienced a bad smelly foot at least once in our lives. We all have that one friend or relative who has such smelly feet that he can clear off a room as soon as he kicks off his shoes! With more than 250,000 sweat glands in each foot, the feet are the most highly sweating parts of the body. What causes this bad smell? The feet contain thousands of sweat glands. During warm days or when you wear socks and tight shoes, the sweating increases in due proportion. The resulting sweat does not find an outlet and starts accumulating in the spaces available and this warm and moist area breeds bacteria. The bacteria start feasting on your sweat and dead skin. They digest their food and release the waste products. These waste products are toxic organic acids that cause the feet to smell so bad. About 10 to 15% of people suffer from this horribly bad smell. Why? This is because their feet are extra sweaty and become a home ground for certain bacteria called as Micrococcus sedantarius. Along with stinky organic acids, the bacteria produce volatile sulphur compounds. Sulphur compounds are powerful and extremely awful smelling almost like a dirty rotten egg. Teenage years also see extra amounts of sweating on the feet. Medical conditions like Hyperhidrosis can also make your feet sweat more. If you are suffering from a fungal infection of the foot, then rest assured that your feet will smell horrible. Smelly feet can be an embarrassing problem. It puts everyone in a spot. Hence, foot hygiene is important to avoid smelly feet. Always wash and dry your feet well every morning. Dab some antiperspirant powder on your feet and between the toes to soak the perspiration. Never wear the same shoes for more than 2 days in a row. Wear a fresh pair of socks daily. Keep your feet exposed to fresh air. Avoid tight-fitting shoes. Use an antibacterial soap to wash your feet if you have smelly feet. Visit your doctor if simple home measures do not prove very effective. Excessive sweating is often considered the cause for foot odor. This is not true. Sweating in itself is harmless; it is the bacteria that grow there that are responsible for the awful odor.
A primer on heart attacksIndians around the world have one of the highest rates of heart diseases. Heart attack, also called as myocardial infarction, is mainly caused by a blockage that prevents oxygen-rich blood supply to your heart muscle. In other words, it is the death of the heart muscle. What causes a heart attack? When cholesterol deposition, plaques of calcium and proteins on the walls of your coronary artery cause blockage of the artery, your heart fails to receive sufficient nutrient-rich blood. This leads to the permanent death of heart muscle, and it is unable to pump the blood to your vital organs. Symptoms that signal a heart attack   Chest pain is a symptom of a heart attack.  This pain can feel like tight ache, pressure on the heart as if an elephant is sitting across the chest. However, you may get confused with the symptom chest pain - whether it is a heart attack or an angina pain. Chest pain lasts for a longer time in heart attack whereas the chest pain in angina lasts for few seconds and goes away after rest. The pain experienced during a heart attack sometimes feels like indigestion or heart burn. Other warning signs of heart attack are: Shortness of breath. Lightheadedness or fainting. Upper body discomfort in arm, the back, neck, and jaw. Nausea, vomiting, dizziness. Sleep problems or fatigue. Not every person will have the same symptoms of the heart attack. But if you have any of these warning signs, you have to act fast and get the right treatment.
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
Painful intercourseSome of the causes affecting women can be: Going too fast, penetrating from an awkward position. Do not hesitate to tell your partner that it hurts and he needs to slow down or change position in order to make you comfortable and prevent pain. Dry vagina or lack of natural lubrication in the vagina. This dry vagina is caused due to some medications, changes at the menopause. Sometimes just increasing the time of foreplay can help vaginal lubrication. Use water-based lubricant to reduce pain. Failure to fire off. Sometimes failure of the vagina and uterus to respond to sexual arousal can lead to irritation and tenderness. The vagina may be too tight for the intercourse sometimes or the uterus may not be raised so that the penis comes in contact with the cervix during penetration. Using other penetration methods can be helpful to explore the level of arousal before engaging in intercourse. Vaginismus can be the cause of discomfort. Muscles surrounding vagina are sometimes very tight and lead to pain and intercourse to be painful. Woman can examine herself with her fingers to see if vaginal walls are tighter than normal. It can be vaginismus. Normal cause is nervousness or anxiety. It is reversible. Good foreplay before intercourse will help to relax the muscles and help lubricate. Just relaxing before the act can be helpful. Vaginal infection and inflammation due to yeast, herpes, etc. can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fabrics, creams, perfumes may cause irritation in area in some women. Avoid these. First-time sex can be a little painful. Rupture of the hymen can cause discomfort during penetration. Start slowly or begin with forms of penetration other than intercourse. Psychological pain. Sexually traumatic experiences or feelings of guilt associated with sex can make the act painful. Consult a sex therapist or psychiatrist. Discomfort during intercourse is experienced by men too, various causes affecting this outcome for men are: Tight foreskin. During first attempt at intercourse, tight foreskin will make retraction painful. After sometime, the foreskin will become loose and make intercourse comfortable. Any lesion on the penis skin can make intercourse painful. These may result from non-lubricated masturbation or rapid intercourse or STDs. The blisters due to herpes infection can make intercourse extremely painful.
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