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Career advice for menGetting a job these days is extremely difficult. What is even more difficult is sticking around long enough at the job. No one is indispensable, and if you don't perform well, there are hundreds more waiting to get the job! Being the bread winner, men have to face this pressure more. Here are some tips that would do you good, if followed: Cracking The Interview: The golden rule here is to be honest. The interviewers do not want to hear what will please them; So, do not try to butter them up. They are also put off by boasting . Therefore, be honest about your views and opinions. Age:wise Attitude- When you are young, and have just entered the company, it is highly advisable to observe and learn as much as you can. Find yourself a professional mentor who can guide you. Try and build on your professional presence. Be active, spend more time with your boss, be helpful to your juniors. The golden advice for all, irrespective of seniority, is to stay clear of office gossip and politics. Keep a check on the attitude: There is no need to be arrogant, and a know-it-all. Be friendly, confident, and genuine. Learn to say no: You need to have a pleasing personality. But, avoid trying to please all. Try and learn the art of saying no firmly. Too much of 'yes' will make people take you for granted, and you will find yourself overloaded with a lot of work. Do not under price yourself: If you feel that you deserve a raise, go ahead and ask for it. Do not be afraid to ask for your worth. Often at interviews, employers cancel out candidates who under price themselves, as it shows that they will probably not perform to the expected levels. Blow your trumpet: With all humility make sure you take what is rightfully yours. If you don't take credit for the work, no one will give it to you. Worse, someone else may take it! Create boundaries: Keep your work at office. Do not bring work home. Often at the outset, to please bosses, one ends up working overtime or worse, working at home. It is important to keep both the parts of your lives separate. Keep fit too: Don't let your job take a toll on your health. Working late, sitting at the same place for hours, can be harmful for the heart. Learn to unwind periodically. Setting goals is easy. What is needed is the determination to follow the rules you have set for yourself. The way to success at work is taking the ladder, one step at a time. There is no elevator here.
Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
Obesity is not just an adult problemWith fast food chains multiplying in the country faster than you can say Maharaja Mac, there is an urgent need to monitor our diet. While most of the nutritional advice is directed at adults, kids too are exposed to the dangers of empty calories. Childhood obesity is on the rise across the world including India. How does obesity affect children? And what can parents do to ensure this doesn't happen? We will try to answer some of your questions. What are the causes of obesity in children? Lack of physical activity: Nowadays, children spend more time sitting at home - doing their homework, watching TV, and playing games on PC, console tablets or smartphones. Play time on the ground outside has shrunk. As a result, they don't get enough exercise. Unhealthy food choices: Our busy lifestyles leave us with little time to plan for or prepare every meal. The alternative is to go for quick-to-cook food like Maggi. Food ordered from outside too is invariably unhealthy. While having it once in  few days is not a problem, making it a way of life leads to problems. Overweight parents: The eating pattern and lifestyle of parents has a big influence on a child's health and weight. Obesity can be hereditary. Lifestyle and environment: When parents are unable to pay much attention on their children due to their busy schedules. As a result children rely more on ready-to-eat food or junk food. Genetic factors:  For some kids, genetic factors may be the reason behind obesity. A rare genetic disorder called as Prader-Willi syndrome causes severe weight gain in kids. What health problems can obesity cause among children? Type-2 diabetes Eating disorders like bulimia or binge eating (excessive eating or drinking) Problems with foot structure Liver problems Respiratory disorders - breathlessness during exercise Difficulty in breathing while sleeping causing snoring or poor sleep What can parents do to prevent or control obesity in children? Parents must make kids understand the ill-effects of eating junk food. They must limit their snacking on junk foods. Encourage the kids to participate in physical activities and outdoor games. Make exercising a routine for the children. Join them during exercising to make it a fun time for the family. Set an example for your kids by following a healthy diet and eating habits yourself. Limit TV time and playing videogames. Parents must include whole grains, fruits and vegetables in the diet of their children. Limit fats intake to not more than 25%-30% of total calories. Make sure to go through the nutritional label while purchasing any processed food.  
Are you there for your teenage children?You must be there for your adolescent children so that they know who to turn to when they are confused. Being there does not necessarily mean your physical presence, but even the rules, boundaries, and standards of behavior you might have set should be able to guide them. When the teenager comes under peer pressure, then these rules may help them make the right choices. Teenagers live in fear They are frightened of their teachers, their friends; they are frightened of being mocked at or not being able to cope. They are dealing with a lot of issues, so when they come home, show them you care. They don't need parents screaming and shouting at them about their conduct or studies. The moment they come in, you should greet them with a smile, no matter what your feelings are otherwise. Don't expect your teenage children to be adults because they are still growing. Family is always important Most people think that teenagers no longer need the love, warmth, and support of the family. Your child might be a teenager,not a child to hold hands and show them the way, but they do need your support. A family works like an anchor that can pull back a teenager from being drifted away. Engage them.Speak to them regarding their likes and dislikes, the pressures they feel at studies, among other things. This could help them from the intense emotional turmoil they may be going through. Equation changes As a child you could cuddle your children, scold them, nurture and guide them, but as teenagers the equation might change. You may not cuddle your teenage child, but a warm hug now and then or a pat on the shoulder is enough to let them know that you love them just the same. Listen to them when they share an opinion. They want to prove themselves so follow their advice if it's reasonable so they feel they are an important part of the family and their opinions do matter. Don't treat your teenage children with suspicion.It will drive them away!! Moody If your teenage child is moody and uncommunicative, it does not mean that they don't need their family. It's just that friends might have taken precedence in their lives. Just the feeling that they have your support may encourage them to take their independent decisions. Information It is important to inform your teenage child regarding alcohol, drugs, and sex. However, you must also know they could experiment. So tell them about the dangers, and if they still make a mistake, then be there and do not abandon them. Help them get through the crisis. Teenage behavior Sometimes teenagers can behave erratically. It could be difficult to know if this is teenage moodiness or something more serious. As a parent you need to watch out for this and find out indirectly about what is troubling them. They might not open up immediately, but if you are around when they feel like chatting, they could let you know what is troubling them.
Causes and treatment of sleep talkingIt is usually believed that sleep talking is associated with dreaming, but there is no scientific evidence available to support this hypothesis. In few cases, it may be associated with sleep disorders or any other diseases. Sleep terrors and REM sleep behavior disorder (RBD) are two sleep disorders associated with sleep talking. Sleep terrors are associated with frightening scream, kicking, and thrashing. It is commonly seen in children. Awakening becomes difficult during sleep terror. Patients with RBD utter a sudden loud cry, grunt, shout, or act out their dreams, usually violently. Other causative factors of sleep walking are emotional stress, mental health illnesses, substance abuse, fever, and certain medications. Treatment: Evaluation of the patient Patients with sleep talking should be evaluated by a specialist doctor especially if it is seen in adults or associated with violent actions, screaming, or intense fear. If children with sleep talking have disturbed sleep pattern, they should be evaluated by the pediatrician. The doctor asks questions to the parents, roommates, and bed partners about the nature and the extent of sleep talking. There is no definitive treatment available for sleep talking, although the doctor may test to record the sleep pattern of the patient to identify any sleep disorder. This test is known as polysomnogram. Management Sleep talking usually does not require treatment. Avoidance of stress and plenty of sleep at night may help to decrease sleep talking. However if any sleep disorder is identified by polysomnogram, it is treated accordingly by the doctor. If underlying causes like mental illnesses, substance abuse, or medications are identified, they are also managed accordingly. Mental illnesses like depression should be treated with proper counseling and medications. The patients should refrain from alcohol, heavy meals, fatty meals, etc. The patients are advised to follow regular sleep schedule, get adequate amount of sleep, and practice proper sleep hygiene so that severity and frequency of sleep talking is decreased.
Dealing with obsessive thinking and worriesAn old adage goes - 'Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere'. This is absolutely true for many of us who have developed the habit of worrying unnecessarily over outcomes and circumstances. Thinking about things and over our course of action is a good thing because you should always think twice before acting. What about obsessive thinking? Is it good for you? Anything in extremity is a bad thing, whether it is your favorite food or your thoughts. Worrying incessantly is a part of obsessive thinking where you cannot let go of negative thoughts and they circulate in your mind continuously. Obsessive thinking is a negative infinite loop, a broken record that is stuck without having anyone to click the stop button. So how should you deal with this obsessive thinking that is sure to spell your doom in the long run? Though psychologists have devised various scientific methods of overcoming obsessive thoughts and worries, here we have listed down some easy to follow rituals that will help you deal with such worries and thoughts. Meditation - Yoga swears by the art of meditation as it is thought to release all negative energy from the mind and soul. Concentrating on your breathing and also absorbing a positive source of energy is the essence of meditation. So whenever you are obsessed about something, sit down, calm your nerves and meditate. Physical activity - Exercising always helps. Engage in physical activity which increases the body's metabolism and requires effort. Indulge in those dance lessons or swimming or maybe cycling and you will divert your mind from those negative thoughts. Indulge in your hobbies - So you thought you don't have time for your hobbies, but your hobbies relax your mind and body. Moreover, a hobby also takes out the creative side in you. So, whether you like to collect coins or stamps, or lean towards arts and crafts, a hobby is sure to occupy your mind and take you away from worries. Socialize - Friends and relatives are your lifeline as they help you in those tough situations. Even if you are mentally not at peace, making social calls on your friends and relatives will take the edge off.  Try to meet people who can empathize with you and help you move out of it. Socializing will give you that much needed break from the vicious cycle of your thoughts. Though a short-term relief, going out for movies or taking a weekend getaway with your near and dear ones or even indulging your wife in shopping, can be helpful. Confide - Talking to someone close who understands you helps you in expressing your troubles. Thinking obsessively, you usually tend to ignore your feelings and emotions. Your mind remains trapped in the net of those obsessive thoughts and your emotional well-being takes a backseat. When you talk to another person, he or she will hear you out and help you relieve the stress that is on your mind. They would understand your state of well-being and support you emotionally. Be mindful - You may find it easy to go back into the same negative thought process. Don't let your mind chatter. Stop your mind by standing up for yourself. Stand in front of the mirror and say, "I am not a victim. I have the power and strength to move ahead" Do this whenever you become aware that you are going back into the same thought process.  This will give you the mental strength needed to come out of it.  Be mindful and aware but don't be too harsh on yourself. Be responsible -Your mind can make you or break you. If you understand this truth you will find it easier to manage your thoughts. Take responsibility of your thoughts good or bad.  The mind can create thoughts to project blame or judgments about others.  When you own your thoughts, you will find it easier to shape them the way you want. Create a higher vision of your life - When you keep a higher vision in your life, you can move ahead easily.  By developing a higher vision, you are asking yourself, who am I?and finally working towards it. You take positive actions and thus there would be more gratitude for what you have and less resentment for things that do not work.   This stops your mind from working unnecessarily. Obsessive worrying is a psychological disorder which in extreme cases has to be dealt with pathologically. Do not let your condition to reach the extreme end of the spectrum. Follow the above mentioned suggestions and try to deal with those thoughts yourself. It may take some time but rest assure, it will be effective in the long run.
Beating the weight loss plateauThere comes a stage when you stop losing any weight in spite of strict exercise and diet regimen. This is called as weight loss plateau. When calorie intake is reduced along with exercise, the energy required is obtained from stored fat which eventually leads to weight loss. This rate of weight loss slows down and eventually stops once body reaches its set point of metabolism. This set point varies from person to person. So what can you do next? Here are some easy ways to get the weighing scale budging: Modify diet pattern: Metabolism slows down with lowering calorie intake. To reset metabolism, you need to have an adequate amount of calories. This can be done by including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and proteins in diet. More energy is needed to burn proteins than carbohydrates or fats. Eat within half an hour or hour after exercising. Add proteins and carbohydrates to diet. Sip water: Increase total water intake in a day. Drink water before, during and after exercise and throughout the day. Change the workout: Change the exercises you do daily. Muscles get accustomed to a routine workout. Switching exercises and continually challenging helps burn more fat and build lean tissue. Change the type and time or duration of exercise. Try cycling instead of running if you have been doing it for long. Running, swimming, dancing, and Pilates too are good options. Skipping and brisk walking help in burning calories too and break the plateau. In the gym, change the exercise or number of repetitions. If you have been working on machines for long, try weight training or floor exercises. Take rest: Adequate rest is essential for the body to rejuvenate. Muscles, tendons, and ligaments get slight internal and external injuries which can be healed by rest. Proper rest helps repair and regenerate the tissue and makes them strong. Make these changes and get the needle on that weighing scale to budge.
Benefits of meditation: How daily meditation helps you lead a wholesome life Sharper memory: One of the most important cognitive capacities we use daily is our memory. With higher amount of stress on your brain and body due to demands at workplace and home, there is high probability of negative effect on your memory. This can be countered by mindfulness meditation where the focus of attention is a particular physical sensation. This lets you quiet your mind and learn to be attentive solely to the matter at hand, thus allowing your brain to be able to remember more sharply and quickly. Dealing with stress: Stress is the buzzword for anyone who is leading their life in busy cities. Starting from the hurried walk into the office to the pressure of meeting deadlines and reaching home exhausted only to find oneself engrossed in another set of tedious jobs is the condition of daily life for most people. Meditation will allow you to cope with stress in a stronger way by bringing the energies of your body under your control, thus giving you the power to channelize them effectively. Giving up painkillers: Recent medical studies, especially ones conducted in Montreal in 2010, showed how the practice of Zen meditation structures the brain in such a manner that its capacity to sense and deal with pain increases. Primarily practiced by Buddhist monks, Zen is the form of meditation where you focus on your breathing and posture while watching and letting your mind gradually turn quiet. In this way, you can put those pain killers away and increase your innate capacity to deal with pain. Happiness quotient: Prefrontal cortex is the part of brain concerned with positive emotions and feelings. Those who meditate have been seen to have greater activity in this area. Major journals and research institutions focusing on depression and role of meditation in reducing it have found that meditation helps the person to feel in control of their life by subtly changing the working of their brains and thus, resulting in greater capacity to cope with depression and negative feelings. Good for your heart: Two kinds of meditation which are greatly beneficial for smooth working of your heart are Zen and Transcendental meditation. Transcendental meditation, taking after its name, helps you to transcend your worries through attention on chanting. It has been found that meditating daily helps to reduce the chances of stroke and heart attacks by over 40%.
How to communicate with a patient who has a strokeThe first and the most important thing to communicate with the patient, is to give undivided attention. Give attention to his activities, gestures, his facial expressions through which he may try to communicate so his feelings could be understood. Eye contact is also important but the patient having stroke may look at you square in the eyes but he may not respond to your conversation. While communicating with the patient you should always stand in front and tune out all the other sights and sounds in the room. Maintain full silence around the patient in the room, turn down the volume of the television, radio and ask other people in the room to be silent. You may communicate with the patient by making contact by touching the hand, chin, cheek or areas which are not affected by stroke. As the side which is affected by stroke, does not have any sensations. You may communicate with the patient through his family member by telling the family member to communicate with patient by saying, "Look at my face"; through this we can gain the patient's concentration. You should always speak clearly with the patient in a normal soft volume. Express your ideas in simple terms, form simple sentences, do not use complex words. You may repeat the sentences or an important term again. For example to ask if the patient wants tea, repeat the word 'tea'. More complex thoughts can also be similarly conveyed and repeated. You may also use hand gestures with clarification like doing Hello by waving your hand or through your hand action, you may ask questions like, How are you? Are you ok? What do you want? Through this both caregiver and stroke patient can benefit. You may ask your patient to point out whatever he wants or if he needs anything. And gradually he will develop the habit of pointing the daily items like television, newspaper, remote, eyeglasses radio, drapes an uncomfortable foot, the patient can indicate any pain or headache. Through this communication we can make the patient learn, use mechanical lifts to get in and out of the bed, and with the help of the attendant by demonstrating the patient how to use it. Sometimes when the communication does not work, take a break, give it time and try again, do not get frustrated and reassure the patient that yes, he or she can do it. Good communication with the patient is very important as they cannot speak their basic wants and needs clearly. The patients suffered a stroke also have slurred speech. There is a deviation of the angle of mouth. They are mostly bed ridden and could not carry out the routine activities.
Psychological impotenceSex is not just physical but just as equally mentally involved. Mental stimulation and response are responsible for arousal and overall enjoyment; and therefore any sort of psychological disturbance or mental issues like stress, tension, or anxiety can lead to psychological impotence. Stress or exhaustion are most possible explanations for psychological impotence. Depression and post-traumatic stress disorder also may result in impotence. A mental trauma of sexual or physical abuse, guilt due to sexual relationship, problems amongst partners contribute too. Confusion over one's sexual identity is also a major cause for impotence. Impotence results from underlying physical disorders, especially if the people choose to stay unaware of it. Absence of knowledge of this disorder leads to anxiety and stress building up over a period of time.  So when determining factors rule out physical causes first and then go for identifying mental causes. Psychological impotence can be sometimes situational or only with a particular partner and the treatment approach differs with the cause. Counseling works wonders in the case of psychological impotence. For example, depression or anxiety may require treatment to improve condition. Post-traumatic stress disorder or abuse needs therapy on coping skills. Sometimes simply explaining underlying cause of physical condition resulting in impotence and comfort and reassurance are sufficient. So don't hold back, share to get your mojo back!!
Sex during pregnancy? It's possible!One of the questions that arise when a woman gets pregnant is whether it is safe for the couple to have sex. We'll try to answer the most common questions couples tend to ask. Is sex safe during pregnancy? Sex is considered safe if the pregnancy is normal in all stages. However, even if it is safe, it doesn't mean the woman would want to have it. Desire for sex fluctuates during the various stages of pregnancy and sex becomes plain uncomfortable as the body gets larger. What is not safe? Two types of sexual behaviors are not safe during pregnancy. While having oral sex, the man should not blow air into his partners' vagina. It can lead to air blockage of blood vessels by an air bubble, which is called air embolism, and can be lethal for both mother and baby. The pregnant woman should strictly avoid sex with a partner with unknown sexual history or who may have a Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). What are the common risk factors? In case of significant complications with pregnancy, abstinence from sexual intercourse is advised. Common risk factors can be: Threat of miscarriage. One can have pre-term labor or signs indicating the risk of pre-term labor (such as premature contractions). Unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping. Leakage of fluid surrounding the baby, called as amniotic fluid. Placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta (the cord connecting mother to the baby and nourishes the baby) is located low down and covers the opening of the uterus. Cervix incompetency, a condition where cervix is weak and dilates before full term, increasing the risk of miscarriage or premature labor and delivery. Can sex during pregnancy harm the baby? The baby is always protected by the amniotic sac (a bag-like structure that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid) and uterine muscles. A thick mucus plug seals the cervix and protects the baby from infection. The penis does not come into contact with the fetus during sex. So, sex can't harm the baby directly. Can orgasm lead to miscarriage or contractions? The contractions felt by pregnant women during and just after orgasm are totally different from the contractions of labor. Therefore, in cases of normal and low-risk pregnancies, orgasm can't cause contractions and miscarriage, but always check with the doctor and make sure that your pregnancy is in the low-risk category. What are the safe positions for sex during pregnancy? The old standby missionary position for intercourse may not work for you now. Instead, try these options: Spooning: Lie side by side with him behind you. This will not put pressure on your belly, and makes for more shallow penetration. Female on top: There's no pressure on the belly, and the female can control the speed and depth of penetration. Side of the bed: The female lies on the back on the edge of the bed with knees bent and feet on the edge. The male stands facing her. It's like classic missionary, but the male won't be resting his body weight on the pregnant female. However, remember 'normal' is a relative term when it comes to sex during pregnancy. You and your partner need to discuss what feels right for both of you and take advice from the doctor.
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