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Anger management in menThis isn't a tirade against TV Violence. On the contrary, why blame the movies for spewing out blood, guts and gore, when all they really do is reflect the times we live in. Art imitates life doesn't it? So why blame the rising crime graph and street violence on TV and movies? Why not peep within our own selves and see the sheer ferocity of the anger which we project collectively on box office sell-outs. Examine the angry man within. So well you shrug it off and say "We didn't start the fire, it's been always burning since the world's been turning." You can certainly do your bit to help douse that fire before it turns into a conflagration, spiralling out of control until it consumes you mentally, physically and spiritually. Anger is bad. Period. Inscrutable and mysterious indeed are the ways of anger. It is to do with the pace of one's life in these times which starts it all we suppose. Then comes the classic conflict between nature and nurture further adding 'reddie points' to the anger account which is ticking away somewhere accruing interest. Someday something as silly as a traffic snarl or a bad joke or anything really trivial or big; justifiable or unjustifiable will cause this anger to spew out like molten lava from the fissures of your head. Self control, restraint and tranquillity are then mere concepts which lie in a crumpled heap as the angry young man in you takes over and hits out at everything within sight. Since time immemorial, the male temperament has been programmed to hunt, protect and gather. The caveman in most males has not evolved at all! It now wears a suit and goes hunting gathering in his corporate cave. This is the monster in most of us we have to tame through "Anger Management". We might have taken a dig at the caveman being the corporate type, but he could be anyone with an anger issues - you, me, the petrol pump attendant or even Sean Penn and Charlie Sheen. Celebrities often have the luxury of having anger issues and, as we all know it, many a famous anger tantrum is often overlooked as a creative outburst. For us however it could mean a long term in jail and much worse - our days filled with regret! Anger is an emotion and therefore much as I hate to say it necessary to tell us something is not right. So it is nature's way of helping us perceive through our senses and feel anger as a result of that perception, much like happiness and sadness. However anger has a particular corrosive quality about it which if not expressed or acknowledged can wreck havoc on a man's health. Why do you think men outnumber women right from barroom brawls to health conditions like hypertension, heart attack and migraines? Most men when questioned after socking the living daylights out of someone state that they just had that lightheaded feeling as the serpent raised its ugly hood, the blood pressure shot up and adrenalin coursed through the veins, the ears heard that sickening thud of a pacing heart and then "The other guy was down on the ground and I didn't even feel a thing when I sliced his throat open! Honest! I have issues!" Can you imagine how horrifying it must be to lose our faculties and go berserk? Can you imagine how many innocent people are victims of road rage and unjustified violence? So how do you ditch that anger? First step is to find yourself a relaxation routine and deep breathing exercises can help you be more in control of your temper. Relax your muscles of all that tautness which anger makes it do. Consciously at a regular time do this relaxation routine. Feel your body respond by 'letting go' of old holding patterns. Yoga Postures, especially the 'Shavasana' can help tremendously by relaxing excitable natures and enables them to relax the body at will. Next time you feel angry about something you will find yourself responding appropriately. Remember it is you against anger. Tell yourself that anger is like a serpent it might bite its owner. So find a suitable method of letting out your anger, and know that doesn't include steeping down on the accelerator and running into the back of someone's car. That is anger getting the better of you and that's 'Road Rage' and Murder and suicide. Punch a pillow, get a pair of boxing gloves and wallop the hell out of a punching bag, run a mile, shout your head off in a deserted place if you must, but unclench the jaw and fists and maybe you will start seeing the lighter side of things. There are enough things in this world that truly deserve your anger. Without anger sometimes we cannot enforce change on the negative things in society. Whenever we hear of a rape of a helpless woman on a bus we are bound to feel anger. However letting that anger getting the better of us and going in for instant vigilante justice for perceived crimes is just as wrong. Then what sets us apart from people who rape, loot, plunder or murder? If we all exercise restraint and express anger as and when it registers instead of holding it inside would help a great deal. If you are angry about being given the short end of the stick at work and if for some reason you cannot express it then ensure that you don't implode by keeping it in or explode somewhere it is completely unwarranted. There will be a day when we will hear "TV Violins" instead of watching TV Violence.
Fairness scream: The new male obsession"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?" The words at once evoke images of the evil queen as she strikes a vain pose at the looking glass. However, these days one needs to be more accommodating and make way for a preening gent to put forth the above query. All these days, fairness would be a quality an Indian male would look for in his wife. Just see the Fair & Lovely ads to know what we mean. But today, this very obsession has turned on itself. More and more men are being just as exacting about their own skin color, complexion and tone as their female counterparts. Just take a look at all those TV commercials where celebrity endorsements dangle the bait of fairness creams, lotions and body wash specially designed for teenagers and young men seeking to take them to the promised land of social and sexual success. But before you rush to buy that cream, here's what that fairness is all about Fairness is skin cell deep Fair, ruddy, dark or wheatish is all determined primarily by the melanin content in our skin cells. Some races like the Africans have a high melanin content thereby giving them a dark colour while Europeans are of a lighter skin colour due to low melanin content. So whether you use an expensive fairness cream or go in for beauty treatments at luxurious beauty spas, genetics will have a final say on the matter. How fairness creams work...or do they? Fairness creams contain chemicals which block the production of melanin in the skin and thus enable a lighter skin tone and a fairer complexion. Mostly melanin production in men is more than females, which is why women's fairness creams don't have so much of an effect on men. The cosmetic industry recognized this factor and thus developed products designed for the male skin. However, some of these "men's only" fairness brands are glorified sunblock creams which block the harmful ultra violet radiation of the sun which blackens the skin. The dark side of fair Some of the beauty treatments and fairness creams contain chemicals like hydroquinone, mercury, and even steroids, which could do more harm than good. If you are obsessed about fairness, the least you could do is use a branded product (though that is no guarantee of its efficacy!). First sample it to check of it suits your skin. If a rash breaks out, consult a skin specialist immediately. Finally, it is the health of the skin which is more important than colour. So exercise regularly or use natural skin treatments like orange peels, cucumber patches to enhance your skin tone. Don't give in to peer pressure. The obsession for fairness can lead to low self-esteem and needless rivalry. Cosmetologists and marketers of fairness products are the only ones who will laugh their way to the bank at your cost. So, if you have a darker skin colour you don't have to go in for expensive remedies just because men in your age group find it cool. Self-acceptance is much better remedy than any beauty treatment in the world.  
Inspiring fitness goals for womenBeing fit comes with the benefit of enhanced mood and lowered hormonal rages. Coupled with right proportion of sleep, hydration, and a job you love, you will be nearing towards a perfect body. Goal 1: WorkOut Your Body to A Song! Make a playlist of all the songs you love and choose to execute your regime through it. Goal 2: "Be Yourself" Challenge Holistically develop your body by acknowledging what you love to do. Choose a sport that you love and join a group. If you love animals, then walk your dog which will let you lose weight and enjoy the company of pets. If painting or photography interests you, then trekking along landscapes of beauty should be your weekend getaway. Goal 3: Become the Hourglass with 1-Month Workout Regime Evaluate your body type and create a month-long regime to gradually progress towards animpeccable body shape and continue it beyond the initial 1 month. Start with small steps and do not go in for crash diets. Choose healthier snacks. Add a bit ofsleep to your daily dose in case you tend to sleep less. Begin with 15minutes of workout containing exercises recommended by your trainer to suit your body. Goal 4: Be the Health-Smart Mom! Lose the extra pounds you brought on during pregnancy and set a role model for your children. Go to the park with your children and play games with them. Pick up sports that you all can share and do together! Goal 5: The Yoga Guru Pick up yoga and start from the first step. Did you know that the initiation of anyone into the system of Yoga occurs through stage of Yama? Yama refers to the ethical principles that will guide your life while you move towards taking control of your life. The five Yamasin yoga are non-violence, truthfulness, non-stealing, celibacy, and non-possessiveness. They form the ground for your body to start on a healthy path. Move yourself towards following these principles and pick up the following asanas (body-postures) to lose weight: setu band (the bridge pose), bhekasana, dhanurasana, shalabhasana, chakki chalan, nauka chalan, and sarvangasana. A healthy lifestyle is the framework for any fitness goal. Do not go for unrealistic or transient goals. Start by making preparatory changes in your lifestyle: Lower your junk food intake, sleep adequately, drink at least two liters of water daily and hydrate your body sufficiently. Goal 6: Going Back to Nature Plan a trekking trip to your dream destination and walk your fat away. Bring back home a healthier body and a more peaceful mind. Goal 7: Master Your Body Make a journal of all activities you do in a day. The intention is to become aware of your habits that might be hurting your body unknowingly. Trace habits like binging on a snack while watching TV, sitting in a bad posture while on the desk and reading a book at a dimly lit place may be few pointers. This is a long-term challenge (4 months) to bring your body under your control through self-awareness. Goal 8: Green Regime Go for a diet which involves vegetables, fruits, and grains. Detoxify your body by being off junk food for at least two months. Goal 9: Bony to Healthy Increase your weight to become the inspiration for underweight people and guide them towards a healthy body. Goal 10: Run for the World Join marathons and runs for different social causes. Commonly known as 'Run for a Cause,' be the torchbearer to a certain cause by joining organizations that work on the same and initiating a run or marathon. This will not only prepare your body and move it towards healthy living; you will also be doing your part for the others.
Even women can kick up a storm - Martial arts and the modern womanMartial arts! Yup you have seen enough of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet-Li films on the telly to know there is a lot of hard work involved. All that glass breaking, torso-twisting, nun chucks, whirling to kicking ten opponents at once. Is that all for real? Can a dainty woman go about hurling armed robbers off their shoulders? Or does that happen only in Kung Fu films with real weird names like 'Shaolin Temple Monks down ....' or something equally corny. That apart! Won't you need to learn a bit of Chinese or Japanese to even imitate those shrieks that women in those films emit? Worse still! Imagine they will need sub-titles to even know that you mean business! Jokes apart and no offense to the masters of Muay Thai, Akido and Tae Kwon Do! Martial arts is way beyond just fighting and is in fact a great way of disciplining the body, mind and soul. As a woman too martial arts can have a tremendous impact on your self confidence and awareness about dynamics of the mind. True what they show in martial arts film is all about smashing bones and tables but martial arts goes way beyond that. Through different movements, kicks and punches and holds one may learn to overpower an opponent using his own weight, but martial arts is ALL ABOUT CONQUERING THE SELF AND DESTROYING THE ENEMY WITHIN! So if you are intent on learning martial arts be ready for some action-packed exercise routines that Promote flexibility Increase strength, stamina and endurance Help you gain better control over yourself Help you deal with any problem that life may throw your way Help you be competitive and assertive There are different types of martial arts which have evolved over several centuries. The main forms are Kung-Fu, Karate, Akaido, Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Kalayraipatu amongst others. There is also centuries of philosophies behind the exercises recommended by these disciplines. Some martial arts concentrate only on unarmed combat while there are others which blend both armed combat with weapons like swords, sticks and nun chucks. Martial arts can indeed go a long way today in equipping women with the art of warfare so that they can defend themselves against any assailant armed or unarmed. It will go a long way in shaping societies and culture if the womenfolk are empowered both physically and mentally too. These days it is not uncommon to see martial arts blended with aerobics dance steps. It may not exactly be pure martial arts but that too isn't a bad idea at all. It will only go a long way in developing interest in these ancient art forms and help in their promotion. Just as much as any martial arts movie can. Or maybe even more!
Teenage troubles for autistic kidsTeenage brings along with it a lot of physical and psychological problems. Your body undergoes a lot of changes, the way the world looks at you is changing and you are not in the position to accept all this. Teenage is one of the most painful periods in one's life.  For an autistic child teenage can be compared to living a nightmare day in and day out. Here is a look at the problems of teenage from an autistic kid's point of view: Social Interaction The ability to interact socially is absent in autistic kids. They are loners who prefer to be left alone and undisturbed in their own worlds. Such a child is a natural target for bullying and ragging by other kids of his age group. At times even if the autistic child wants to come out and make friends, he is not able to do so due to lack of the required skills. Teenage is a period where you need at least one friend to confide in. It can be an extremely difficult phase when you are all alone. Puberty This is the dramatic time in life dilled with hormones and emotions. Your body undergoes lots of changes and you are confused about so many things. You don't know whom to ask or whom to turn to for guidance. Autistic children do not have the maturity to understand this phase. Special issues for autistic teens and sexuality include: Knowledge of physical changes in body. Knowledge of 'good' and 'bad' touch. Ability to communicate about a 'bad' touch or action. Keeping 'safe' distance from others. Handling menstrual cycles. Avoiding 'self-touch' in public. It can be a phase of emotional turmoil for the parents. They need to work closely with their child's special teachers to chalk out a plan that will be best suited to the child in handling puberty successfully. Self-help skills Simple self-help skills like hygiene can be a challenge for teenagers with autism. Improper motor skills, compliance, and sensory problems may interfere with a teen's progress. The proper training of hygiene and grooming can help to add these elements into the daily routine. The right approach is to simplify each task into simple small steps. The positive reward system is a great source of encouragement, as positive motivation always help the teenagers. Higher Functions Autistic teenagers are socially awkward. They lack the power to comprehend and process complex social cues which includes sarcasm, body language, humor, emotional responses and facial expressions. What complicates the problem is that the autistic child lacks empathy and hence may appear rude. Such kids are likely to be teased a lot in school settings.
Teach your kid to stand up to bulliesAlmost everyone has heard of the beach bully who goes around kicking sand in the face of the skinny lad. That's the quintessential imagery associated with bullies and it has stayed with us for over 3 decades since the first ads came out. The ads generally endorsed body building products using the classic 'Before' and 'After' construct, i.e. before you got your face sandblasted by the beach bully and after you took that protein shake or muscle builder to get even. Bullying is a phenomenon where a person or group wilfully targets someone with the intention of troubling them over a specific thing. (Bullies generally pick on someone they perceive as physically, mentally, financially, socially or racially inferior.) There is no age-limit for bullies as the bully could be a school going kid with an attitude problem or a fully grown adult, who could indulge in it from sheer force of habit or due to a mental problem. Again there is no age limit for the victim as well. Anybody could really be a target for the bully menace, right from school children, teenagers, disabled or even old people. Well bullying has changed considerably in these times and you also have the e-bully version where insecure bullies go about harassing people, especially teenagers over the internet. Bullies resort to tactics like causing public humiliation or embarrassment to hapless victims or resort to threats or other control-based abusive behaviour. Ok so everyone has undergone bullying from time to time but the question is should you allow it to happen to your teenaged son or daughter? Mind you, here it isn't simply a question of some leg pulling by friends or teachers but some serious malice that could well destroy your teenager's confidence and cause permanent scars on his self-esteem. Yes, if your teenager is being subjected to bullying then teach him how to kick the sand right back in the bully's face. Before we learn how to do that let's see the types of bullying that your kid could be subjected to: Verbal bullying This includes teasing or making caustic remarks directed at someone on a regular basis. The school bully does that, doesn't he? As you would probably remember from your own school days that fat lout who made you quiver with fright as he snatched your lunch box away to feed the dogs. Yes, the very same guy who pulled your sister's pig-tails and called you names which made you go red in the face. You could do nothing but pray he wouldn't notice you somehow. Well so something similar could be happening with your teenager. Verbal bullying need not be done by a school friend. Even a responsible teacher could target someone for deprecatory remarks causing much embarrassment, ridicule andfeelings of inadequacy to a teenager. Sometimes kids look up to their teachers for encouragement and support and those very people could actually damage a child's self-esteem by unjustified criticism and bullying behaviour.Teenage girls could suffer taunts and remarks about certain physical traits and since they are at a delicate age where their bodies are undergoing changes, such verbal abuse can indeed cause long-term depression or personality issues. Physical bullying Physical bullying is where your teenager could be subjected to physical harassment at the hands of the bully. Whether it is a simple case of holding your teenager's hand or unprovoked physical assault, the end result is the same-injuries to the body and mind. The bully may not go as far as inflict any visible scars on the teenager's body but the episodes could certainly cause great fear and trauma to him. Even teenage girls are not spared physical abuse at the hands of bullies. In certain cases, teens suffering from long-term bullying actually took some extreme measures by committing suicide or breaking down completely. Internet bullying Internet bullying is where your teenager is probably most vulnerable. At least school bullying is restricted to school, but here your teenager is at the mercy of just about everyone - from the school bully to the earnest paedophile! Causing embarrassment on public forums, threats of physical or sexual harm is the most common and as a parent you have to take every step possible to not just protect your child but also help him take care of himself or herself. The bully menace The school bully is comparatively easier to deal with than the internet lout! Well, one can't be too sure of that statement either since these days,school kids are known to blow up their own classmates or participate in a heist with adult precision. Always watch out for the classic signs of bullying. If your child appears withdrawn or disturbed after school hours then gently probe and encourage your child to tell it all. If you feel there is enough reason to think your child is being subject to bullying then bring it to the notice of the school immediately as others could have similar complaints. Do not admonish your child or scold him as it could cause him to withdraw in to the shell that the bully provided him in the first place. Parents and elder siblings can be bullies too so remember that. Teach your child to stand up to bullies. The bully is generally an insecure person who uses brute force to feel good about himself, at the cost of others. The school bully generally has his way and is not used to being challenged. Teach your child to look the bully in the eye and register protest. This will go a long way in teaching your child how to fight back and not take any nonsense from others.If the situation worsens, then always keep a track of your teenager's whereabouts especially if it is a girl. Once the bully realizes that he is being tracked he generally lies low or picks on someone else. Internet bullying requires different measures. You can monitor your child's online activities and teach them to never ever share any personal information or photographs online or on forums which are off-limits for children and adolescents. You can complain to the authorities if things get out of hand. If someone repeatedly issues threats to your teenager, either online or in real life, is a cause for real concern and one must take them seriously. If your child does not learn to cope with bullies it could affect him well in to adulthood, where he will feel helpless and easily scared by imposing people or even develop a hatred for authority figures. Bullying can fuel an already weak personality in to gaining an inferiority complex; the flip side is that kids who have been subjected to bullying can repeat the same patterns on their younger siblings or at school. So a bully creates another bully if continued unchecked. Mental problems in children are on the rise, so bullying is also no longer an innocent joke but could be a serious crime. Bullies whether children or grown-ups, suffer from some personality disorder or a serious inferiority complex which makes them compulsive trouble makers and their victims are generally people who cannot hit back or are vulnerable. Take Hitler for instance. Wasn't he just a bully who was unhappy in his own life? Look what he did to millions of innocent people. Wasn't that a bully gone berserk?  
Where does your happiness lie? - Importance of emotional well-beingAn emotionally well person is characterized by ability to handle and adapt to changes, to efficiently deal with stress, has a positive self-image and can take decisions independently to cater to his needs. Striving forward with a sense of purpose, an emotionally strong person has the capacity to build and sustain fruitful relationships without over-dependence. Being emotionally well does not imply that you do not experience pain and suffering. Pain and suffering is an essential part of every person's life. The strength of your emotional well-being is determined by how you look at and react to them. Those who are emotionally well can treat their adversities as opportunities to change and move ahead with greater strength. Signs of an emotionally ill person include stress, frustration, discomfort with changes, negativity in thoughts, and unreasonable paranoia about the intention of other's actions, discontent, and depression. There is also the feeling of guilt over inability to hold relationships and of not being able to keep others happy. You may also find yourself unworthy and feel that you do not deserve to be happy. Such sensation of low self-worth fuels the need to look for other ways to feel relaxed - thus, resulting in substance dependence. In cases of severe emotional ill-being, one could experience sleeplessness, hopelessness, suicidal, and uncontrollable negative thoughts. Relation between emotional and physical well-being: Emotional well-being is closely related to your physical body. They share a symbiotic relation with one another.By taking care of your body, you allow balanced production of hormones and smooth functioning of the other body parts - allowing them to respond efficiently during tough situations and also assisting the body to cope with physically challenging conditions. By being emotionally strong, you will also contribute towards faster and effective treatment of your body from illnesses. Your emotional well-being is determined by the following factors: family background, companionships, past history of relationships, sensitivity to nature and genetic dispositions. Those who come from troubled family background find it harder to associate in a healthy way with others during their adulthood. In many cases genetically, a person has greater propensity towards being emotionally weak - though this can be controlled and molded into strength by one's own actions. Depending on the type of educational institutions you attended, your companionships could be those which built your self-image positively or which hindered your capacity to take care of yourself (due to instances of bullying and teasing). Past romantic relationships also determine how you deal with your emotions in the present. Those who are sensitive to nature have been found to have greater consideration for human beings as well as non-human beings around them. Every factor is a condition which can be shaped by the efforts of the individual. Emotional well-being is primarily built on the belief that you can create your own reality by choosing your actions. How to promote your emotional well-being? Be optimistic :  Emotional and mental well-being is majorly decided by how you look at your life. Even though you have many sufferings, are you able to accept them and find ways to get through them, knowing that the good is yet to come? Flip through the inspiring stories of people around you to motivate optimism. Find your beauty : Listen to the needs of your body and do not impose your mental ideas of beauty on it. Beauty of each person is determined by their unique characteristics. Do not let the conventional standards of beauty pull you down. Know that you are unique and beauty is not necessarily an external but an inner state of mind. Stay with those who care for you : You might see the need to sacrifice your happiness for others in some instances. However, if you find yourself doing that 8 out of 10 times in any relationship, it is time to seriously reconsider how you wish to live. Is your happiness being taken for granted? Are you running this relationship because you are afraid of being alone, knowing that it is going nowhere in the future? Those who care for you will show it through their actions. The best way to love yourself is by being able to see yourself through their eyes. Take care of your body :  Get adequate sleep daily and make sure your body gets lots of nutritious food. Don't let the advertisements decide the needs of your body. Try out different cuisines and let your body tell you which one it feels is most suitable. Exercise moderately everyday by taking a walk in a green area with your loved one (Remember that the point of exercising is not only to lose weight, but to sweat away your stress daily in fun ways!) Follow your heart : Do what you love. There is nothing that could harm your emotional well-being more than doing something which you know is not right and which you do not want to do. Confucius has dropped us a fortune cookie of happiness when he said that in choosing a job you love, you will never have to work a single day of your life. Get a pet companion :  Adopt an animal and take care of it. In taking care of the pet, you will realize and gradually get in touch with yourself, becoming aware of who you are as a human being. This could be the starting point of discovering your true potentials. Volunteer at social services : Let your creativity and emotions flow by connecting to those around you. Depending on your interests, choose a type of social service - old age home, orphanage, animal shelter, being with terminally ill people, and so on. Such activities will help to positively channelize your emotions.
Communicate to strengthen the family tiesA family that talks to each other stays together. Sounds easy? But how often does your family sit down together in the week to spend time with each other? How about breakfasts and dinners? Are you all able to match your meal times or are you catching each other by the end of the coats in the fast paced world that has us spinning us on our heels constantly? As the family members run in and out of the house, like in a hotel, engulfed in their daily routines they slowly start drifting away from each other. Somewhere pushed to the depths of the heart are old connections and affections with the family. Ideal conversations during childhood, encouragements received during tough times, sibling squabbles in adolescence and many a wonderful memories tug at the heart keeping the family from disintegrating altogether. On the contrary, improper communication and bottled feelings singe the heart in such circumstances and lead to the tumbling of the family ecosystem. Understanding how to build effective communication within the family is important as it helps build a stronger, inseparable family. Here are some effective practices: Communicate Frequently:With the limited time that you have with your family, make communication a common and frequent activity.  While traveling in the car, during meal times, replace TV time with talking, talk to your young ones at bedtime. Keep designated time for informal family meetings and encourage conversations among the family members. Keep the cell phones and laptops in the other room when the whole family is sitting together. Communicate Clearly and Directly:Develop an environment where the family members feel okay to communicate clearly and directly. Allow them to express their thoughts and feelings without having to mask and filter them. This is important in a parent-child relationship and sibling-sibling relationship. It also helps build confidence, family intimacy and bonding among the family members. On the other hand, veiled, indirect or vague communication is ineffective and harmful as it increases confusion and communication gaps. Active Listening:Open and free communication flows only when it is received well and the other person's perspective is acknowledged and respected. Active listening is the cornerstone of effective communication. Whether listening to your partner or child, it is necessary to pay attention to not just the words but tell-tale signs in the tone of communication and non-verbal messages too. Nodding of the head, or words of acknowledgment like, "I understand" make the other person feel that what they are saying is valued and received. Asking questions and requesting clarifications for the parts of the message you do not understand is a very important part of active listening. Trust and Honesty:Only when the family members feel that they can trust each other, can they communicate honestly. Trust is the key for strong familial relationships. Trust is propagated through openness and honesty. Understanding the Individual:The way each individual of the family feels and communicates is different. The way you communicate with the different family members should vary accordingly. Especially in case of young children, as their maturity levels are different than the young adults and adults in the family. The unspoken messages:Not everything might be said in words. Learning to read non-verbal communication such as expressions and body language are very important in understanding the entire message being conveyed to you or the parts being held back. Stay Positive:Many complications and problems between family members can be avoided or solved by effective communication. When dealing with undesired or negative situations, it is important that the words and tonality of the communication is positive. Avoid engaging in negative communication like criticism, defensiveness or contempt. Such negative communication patterns discourage communication.Communication is essential to successful family functioning. Taking inventory of how well the family is doing and readjusting course and practices will help improve the family environment and build a happy family that shares openly and honestly with each other.
Exercise, a healthy way to deal with hypertensionYou have not exercised for a long time. You took it easy when it came to physical activity. Now that you are diagnosed with high blood pressure, you will do anything to control it. Even exercise! Exercise, weight management, and a healthy diet are important ways to help prevent high blood pressure and lower the blood pressure that is already high. Benefits of exercise for people with hypertension include: Improve blood and oxygen circulation in the body Promotes sound sleep Improves stamina and endurance Keeps heart healthy Reduces stress and promotes mental health Exercise enhances the effectiveness of medication So how much should one exercise? An exercise session of atleast 30 minutes per day is important. Get started Start slowly and increase gradually. Start with 10 to 15 minutes of exercise and increase it, as youget comfortable. Choose exercises you enjoy and will do consistently. Avoid sudden vigorous activities; they can cause injuries and hamper the routine. Warm up Warming up helps the body adjust slowly from rest to exercise. A warm-up will reduce stress on the body muscles, increase heart rate and respiratory rate, and body temperature slowly. It will also decrease soreness of muscles. Best exercises for lowering blood pressure Stretching: It is the best. It relaxes and helps prepare the body and muscles for activity and prevents injury and muscle strain. Stretching regularly will make you flexible and improve motility. Aerobic exercise: This helps to improve circulation to the entire body. It improves heart function. It gives maximum benefits to the heart. They also help to reduce heart rate and blood pressure by improving breathing pattern thus lowering blood pressure. Walking, swimming, jogging, and skipping are all aerobic activities. Do aerobics for at least 30 minutes three times a week. Strengthening exercises: These include exercises that have repeated muscle contractions till the muscles are tired. These include side balance crunch, climbing a rope, and push-ups. Join a gym. Here are some  exercise guidelines for a better exercising routine in the gym:  Schedule a fixed time for exercise. Find a buddy to exercise with you. Select an exercise that you like. Make variations to avoid getting bored. Boredom can make you stop exercising. Start slowly and increase gradually, especially if you do not exercise regularly. You should wait for an hour after eating before you exercise. Ten minutes of warm up and ten minutes of cool down sessions are must Keep a record of daily exercise.
5 Mistakes yoga beginners makeYoga is a science that has been developed by the ancient Indian sages after a lot of research and study. That is why yoga is difficult to master immediately and one needs a lot of practice to achieve every posture or asana in the perfect manner. So, it is very important to learn the yogic techniques from an expert and one must avoid performing yoga on your own, at least in the initial stages to ensure that you do not suffer from any physical injuries by wrongly straining or stretching your muscles during practice. Yoga can benefit you only if you perform the asanas according to right techniques. Hence, you should try to avoid mistakes right from the beginning. Here are the five most common mistakes people make while performing yoga as beginners: Learning How to Breath Inhalation and exhalation, some say is the most important process that you need to control while performing yoga. While trying to achieve certain asanas, you have to hold your breath for a while and because of this, your muscle fibers are deprived of oxygen for that time. And one needs to do this while holding one's body in that particular posture. With less strength in your muscles, there are chances that you may fall down or get injured. Hence, as a beginner, when you do not have proper control over your breath, it is best to inhale in short breaths, instead of going for the full belly breaths. Just as you slowly inhale, remember to exhale slowly as well, so that the rhythm of the yogic posture is not disturbed. Do not push Yourself Too Hard Most of the contemporary exercises are based on the principle of 'more pain, more gain'. These exercises tell you to stretch more and push harder to get the best results from your workout routine. However, in the case of yoga, the opposite holds true. If you push yourself beyond your limits to attain a particular posture in yoga, you might actually end up straining and injuring your muscles instead. . So, when you are doing yoga come what may, do not push yourself beyond your natural limits. Do Not Compare Some people are naturally gifted with super-flexibility, while the rest of us may not achieve it despite practicing yoga for years together. Each of us has a different type of body and hence, you should not try to compete with those who are highly flexible, especially, if you are trying yoga for the first time or after a long time. You must give your body some time to loosen up its rigidness and become flexible enough. Trying to compare your body's abilities with others and forcefully pushing yourself to perform postures, just to match up, will hurt you eventually. Where to Place the Mat? The best place to put the mat is at the back of your yoga class, especially if you are new to yoga. If you keep your mat at the front, you will become more conscious and will never be able to concentrate on the asana. Instead, if you are at the back, you will always have the front row to follow, just in case you miss the instructions by the instructor. Go easy on the Food! Yoga postures can be intense and if you go into class with a full belly, you will, most definitely find it difficult and uncomfortable to perform the asanas. The key is to eat about an hour before and almost half the size of your usual portion; so that you can perform the asanas comfortably and get the exact fuel necessary for performing them.
7 Pains you should not ignoreWhen the body cries out in pain, most of the times, you know what is bringing that pain, and you do what will help relieve the pain. For example, a serious workout may cause sore aching muscles, for which you will rest a day or two, or take a painkiller. What does one do to know why a body part is paining? One needs to sit up and take notice! The pain could be anything, from a heart attack, to an aneurysm, and could cost you your life! Pain in the head: Headaches are the most frequent pains that we suffer from. Headache could be due to a migraine, due to staying too long in the sun, due to a cold, or simply due to working too long without a break. However, in case you have a headache, and are not able to pinpoint to an obvious cause, rush to the emergency room. Headaches with no apparent cause may be due to a brain hemorrhage, a tumor in the brain, or an aneurysm in the brain arteries! Get yourself checked as soon as possible, if you keep getting headaches for no apparent reason. Pain in the jaw: This could be due to a caries ridden tooth. But most often it is due to an impending heart attack. The classical left sided chest pain radiating to the left little finger is not always seen in all cases of heart attacks. Pains to the jaw and the back are reported very frequently. Often, people tend to take the pain in the jaw lightly, and brush it off to a tooth problem. This may be potentially life threatening, as you never know the severity of the attack! Tingling, numbness and burning of the feet: Diabetes mellitus is a silent killer. Peripheral neuropathy is often the first complication of diabetes. Tingling numbness, and burning in the feet may be attributed to wearing tight shoes and to keeping your feet suffocated in socks all day long. Dipping your feet in a tub of cold water will give you a good night's sleep. But do not let it go at that. Get your blood sugar levels checked before it is too late! Pain in the calves: Do you get nightly pain in your calves that get better with putting your feet up? This is due to long standing hours at workplace, you may say. True, it is due to that. But, it is not something to be left unattended. Calf pains are due to deep vein thrombosis that occurs when the stagnated blood in the veins starts to form clots. The danger here is that the clot could break off and travel to your lungs causing pulmonary thromboembolism that is fatal! Take a break regularly and put up your feet frequently. Let the blood flow and not stagnate! Pain in the back: Most commonly, back pain is caused due to arthritis, and improper sitting postures. But if you suffer from high blood pressure, and are an alcoholic and smoker too, do not take your back pain lightly. It could be due to a heart attack or an aortic dissection! Pain in the abdomen: You may attribute this pain to gases, over eating or indigestion. While these may be occasional causes, persistent pains need to be checked. It could be anything from a gall stone, to gastric ulcers, to a swollen liver, or maybe even pancreatic cancer! Vague, medically inexplicable pains: When you have a recurrent headache or a stomach ache or a backache and you come out with a 'perfectly healthy' report after visiting all the specialists, it is perhaps time to seek the help of a psychiatrist or a counsellor. Your pains could actually be a symptom of depression. Psychosomatic pains are on the rise. The stresses we face in our lives everyday get pushed to our subconscious, and eventually are pushed up bodily in the form of unexplained aches and pains!
Painful intercourseSome of the causes affecting women can be: Going too fast, penetrating from an awkward position. Do not hesitate to tell your partner that it hurts and he needs to slow down or change position in order to make you comfortable and prevent pain. Dry vagina or lack of natural lubrication in the vagina. This dry vagina is caused due to some medications, changes at the menopause. Sometimes just increasing the time of foreplay can help vaginal lubrication. Use water-based lubricant to reduce pain. Failure to fire off. Sometimes failure of the vagina and uterus to respond to sexual arousal can lead to irritation and tenderness. The vagina may be too tight for the intercourse sometimes or the uterus may not be raised so that the penis comes in contact with the cervix during penetration. Using other penetration methods can be helpful to explore the level of arousal before engaging in intercourse. Vaginismus can be the cause of discomfort. Muscles surrounding vagina are sometimes very tight and lead to pain and intercourse to be painful. Woman can examine herself with her fingers to see if vaginal walls are tighter than normal. It can be vaginismus. Normal cause is nervousness or anxiety. It is reversible. Good foreplay before intercourse will help to relax the muscles and help lubricate. Just relaxing before the act can be helpful. Vaginal infection and inflammation due to yeast, herpes, etc. can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fabrics, creams, perfumes may cause irritation in area in some women. Avoid these. First-time sex can be a little painful. Rupture of the hymen can cause discomfort during penetration. Start slowly or begin with forms of penetration other than intercourse. Psychological pain. Sexually traumatic experiences or feelings of guilt associated with sex can make the act painful. Consult a sex therapist or psychiatrist. Discomfort during intercourse is experienced by men too, various causes affecting this outcome for men are: Tight foreskin. During first attempt at intercourse, tight foreskin will make retraction painful. After sometime, the foreskin will become loose and make intercourse comfortable. Any lesion on the penis skin can make intercourse painful. These may result from non-lubricated masturbation or rapid intercourse or STDs. The blisters due to herpes infection can make intercourse extremely painful.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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