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Preparing for fatherhoodFrom the time you decide to go for a baby, all the attention is concentrated on the mother-to-be. And this is not without reason, since she is the one that's going to bear the child for the next nine months. But that doesn't mean that the man's role is any less important. It is important for the father-to-be to ready himself for the next phase of his life. Following a healthy lifestyle Fertility is a growing problem. As per statistics more than 45% of infertility issues are related to men. Therefore, eating healthy food, exercising and living the healthy way will boost your chances of getting over these problems. Nutrition has an impact on the sperm production. So scrap the junk food for a while and get on to a healthy lifestyle. Men need to get at least 12 to 15 mg of zinc each day. Even short-term zinc deficiencies can reduce semen volume and testosterone levels, much needed for healthy sperms. Good sources of zinc include baked beans (a one-cup serving has 3.55 mg), nuts, cereals, seafood, and chicken meat (2.38 mg per three ounces). Regular intake of vitamins and calcium is a must to improve male fertility and prevent sperm defects. Natural sources of calcium such as fat-free milk and curd can be consumed. Get atleast 90mg of vitamin C daily. This boosts immunity. More will be needed if you smoke. Folic acid is a fuel for healthy sperms. Dads need 400 micrograms of it and green leafy vegetables are good sources of this nutrient. Dads-to-be can take the liberty to grab the extra cup of mocha. Caffeine may help men by stimulating sperm motility. Quit smoking and drinking The party's over for your partner once you start trying for a baby, but what about you? Same goes for men. Now is the time to stop smoking, and to stop any excessive consumption of alcohol. A man who smokes has a lower sperm count and a misshapen sperm, incapable of creating a child. Heavy or binge drinking can seriously affect ability to produce quality sperm. Exercise Add exercise session to your daily routine if you aren't doing them already. Exercise improves general health, stamina, and sperm quality. Start with walking for 15 minutes and increase it gradually if you have never exercised before. If you are trying for a baby, avoid exercising in tight-fitting briefs. It causes damage to sperms. Frequent sessions in a sauna or hot tub, long bicycle rides, or any such activity that could cause the testicles to become overheated can compromise the health of sperm and should be avoided. Medical examinations It is a good idea for the father-to-be to have a complete check-up to assess if there are any issues that need to be addressed before trying for a baby. Some conditions to watch out for include: Varicocele, a condition of varicose veins on the scrotum, the sac of skin that contains the testicles. It can lead to infertility. The condition is entirely treatable, so talk to your doctor about the options. Conditions like erectile dysfunction, diabetes, and prostatitis can cause infertility. Sexually transmitted infections, which may cause male infertility. Your doctor can help you get tested and treated. Your doctor can refer you to urologist or a male fertility specialist if you need additional testing or treatments. Remember to discuss possible hereditary birth defects with your doctor. Share with her the medical history of yours and your wife's family. Get finances organized Plan a baby budget. You surely want to give the best to your child. Start planning now. Consider expenses like baby food, diapers, toys, doctor visits, clothes, and day care. This will help you in the future. And this is the perfect time as you are just in the planning phase of baby making. Take advantage of this time before the baby arrives to get things in order concerning your job, insurance and budget plan. If you and your spouse discuss and agree on expectations, goals and strategies now, you can avoid arguments on money later. After all, you don't want baby to pick up on any tension. Dump your stress Chilling out can increase your potency. So the 'go for a holiday' advice actually works. Practise regular meditation or any exercise that will help bring down your stress levels. Try reading books on fatherhood or parenting and learn tips and advices well in advance. So gear up and start preparing for the change from being the coolest dude to the coolest dad.It is your responsibility to help your partner in all possible ways and make her feel that you are equally excited and keen for having a baby.
Marrying late in lifeConventionally, the marriage age is determined according to the linear formula of happiness that we have constructed and believe to be true. The formula being: getting married by 24 --> having children by 27 --> working (optional) --> becoming a grandparent (that too, real soon!). However, time and again, men and women wandering in their 40s-50s have woken up from the deep disturbed slumber to realize that maybe- just maybe, they had walked into things too fast. They had been unable to know who they are and to become a self-conscious human being before being ready to fuse their lives with another. The prime point of being single and marrying later in life is not to go on some form of egoistic joy-trip but to be able to know oneself and become ready to be the right person for the other. By marrying late, you give yourself time to experience freely what you like and dislike. You get to explore the world at your own terms- travel whenever you want and involve yourself in festivals and activities that manifest who you are. Marrying early doesn't allow for time to explore one's being, as marriage generally immediately follows the time you finish your studies or begin working. One of the most important aspects of adulthood today is travelling. However, every individual has unique wants of travelling and being a single adult will allow you to experience the world fully. You will also get in touch with yourself, exploring how you would like to live. The decision will arise from a ground of experiences which would clearly tell you what repels and what appeals to you. Such experiences are rarely findable once you begin living with another, as you would have to schedule your days and basically, your routine around the other's life as well. Financially, you have reached a point where you know how to take care and manage finances, allowing you to plan your wedding pragmatically. Marrying at a later point in your life allows you to be clear about when you would like to be a parent. Your experiences also ready you to be a considerate and understanding parent who can guide a child. As you grow older, you tend to become more tolerant and the propensity towards differences turning into unnecessary fights is lowered. As our ways of looking at the world change, every person as an individual has the need to learn to see the world as a home. This feeling of being at home is created only through series of experiences one has to go through as a responsible adult. In the face of inexperience, two individuals coming together often find themselves incapable of being happy with one another. Marrying later allows you to have grown into a wiser person yourself before sharing your life with another.
Mother can pass stress patterns to childThe stress patterns in the mother have shown to affect the mental development of children and have been found to play a role in autism and even schizophrenia. "Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche." - Andrew Denton There are several studies conducted in this area of research. The results are varied and present a set of multiple issues that children can face if their mothers have been under stress when they were in the womb. In later years, these babies grow into children who have a weak mental state. They cry easily, pick the escape route in conflicts and difficult situations, are anxiety prone and may get easily bullied in social environments. Their social adjustment gets hampered due to emotional weakness. These children are not good at handling weak moments and end up being rubbed off the wrong way, time and again. It pushes them into a vicious cycle. The incapability to tackle socially stressful situations further scares them. They get bullied and become even more vulnerable. What to do? The approach is twofold. Curb the problem in the beginning. Yes, it is natural to be stressed. Pregnancy can be tough, physically as well as mentally. With the modern life, the stressors have increased and there is always so much to do in such little time. Relationships, work, food, health, hormones - there is ample to trouble you. Find a release for the tensions. The one growing inside you needs you to be happy and healthy. Do things that make you happy, keep your happiness at the top priority. Everyone around you needs to understand that. Reader, if you are the husband, parent, sibling or friend of a pregnant lady - support her, understand her and do all you can to make her smile. Do not be the one who reprimands if she is worried, be the one who takes away her worries. Pave way for a baby who is happy and ready to start a new life. Second, do what you can at the given time. The child is already here and is facing emotional adjustment issues - extend your support to him/her. Give the kid the ground to grow strong roots and stand tall, without being disturbed easily by gushes of the wind. While it is difficult to avoid stress, you can always try to handle it better, for the sake of your child.Soon-to-be mothers who go through stressful situations may be passing on the stress patterns to their babies.
Anger management for your teenaged daughter - Handling difficult teenage times If one fine day you find your daughter suddenly reacting differently to a particular situation, do not be surprised, especially if she is in her teens. The outburst is beyond her control and she herself is confused by her own behavior, at times. It's important rather than scolding her for her misbehavior, one must wait for her to calm down and then speak to her regarding the incident when she is in a jolly mood. It is impossible to forgive such behavior if it repeats regularly, though. Here are some ways to deal with your daughter if she strays the limits of accepted norm for a behavior. You can seek the help of a counselor and understand why this is happening and solve her queries so that she could handle them better in the future. Why do Teenage Girls Lose Temper?By the time, the girls enter their teens they would have become aware about the social etiquettes, importance of looks, acting in an acceptable manner in social scenarios and creating a 'cool' image about themselves when they are outside their homes. So, even if they are hurt, or are angry at something, they do not let it go public, lest their 'cool' image gets shattered. However, the same anger becomes bottled up and vents itself out when they reach home. It's much like the workplace anger showing up at home. This is the place where they can behave wildly and still expect forgiveness. However, that does not mean that you should let your daughter get away with such kind of madness. After she has cooled down, you need to talk to her to find out what is bothering her or making her behave in such a manner. Probably, she may not accept that she has a problem, but you will have to find a way to reach to the root of the issue. More often girls want to be like someone in their college or peer group. They want to fit into a particular group and being unable to do so makes them nervous and distraught. Teach your daughter to believe in herself. Make her understand that she is a unique person on her own and do not need to convert herself into someone else. It may take consistent effort on your part to imbibe all these things into her mind, but you have to work hard to make her understand. Self-Control is the KeyMany young girls do not know how to solve a particular problem when they are faced with it. Apart from taking her to a good counselor, you can discuss problem solving techniques with her. Ask her to understand the situation first, put a foot backwards, relax, and then find a solution to the problem. This habit will make her probe into the problem in a better way and she will be able to handle similar situations when they occur again. You can ask her to write down the problems that are bothering her and ponder over them. You can assist her initially, but as she matures she will find her own solutions depending on her past experiences. Adolescent girls have sometimes trouble keeping their anger, rage, and fear under control and hence their problems should be handled patiently. Brainstorming SolutionsOnce she has ripped apart every aspect of the problem and has come to a brainstorming solution, advise her to write down the plan of action. For example, if she is disturbed due to a particular teacher who does not seem to like her grades, she may do well seeking help through friends who are better in that subject, or for that matter, a bad remark by someone in a group might unsettle her, thereby venting her anger at home. With restraint on your part, make her understand that anger will only block her process to think or find a solution. If you teach her to find answers for the problems in a calm manner, your teenage daughter will surely learn to control her anger and behave normally as she grows into an adult.
Your bundle of joy comes with bundles of fascinating facts Blue-eyed wonder: Most babies are born blue-eyed. The melanin pigment that decides the color of the eyes is not developed at the time of birth. So the babies are born with blue/light eyes irrespective of the genetic makeup. By the time the baby is 6-7 months old, the pigments start developing and the baby's eye colour changes as per the genetic makeup of the parents. Marked for life: One in every three infant is born with a birthmark! No tears: That is true! New born babies do not shed any tears. The lacrimal duct and the tear glands are well developed but they produce just enough tears for lubrication. Actual tears start appearing after one month of age. Crawling wonders: New research has found that babies can crawl almost as soon as they are born. When left to themselves, they are quite capable of using their limbs and find their way to food i.e. the mother's breast.And we thought that they are tiny helpless creatures! Temperature sensitivity: Babies are much more sensitive to temperature changes and body heat.Though the baby can't throw off the clothes to cool down, it is smart enough to do other things. When the baby is cold, it will move around more and if it is too hot it may just lie still as if sunbathing. Touch therapy: Touch is the most highly developed sensation in babies, even in premature ones. The touch sensation develops from head to toe with the mouth being the most sensitive. No wonder they tend to put everything in their mouths. Short-sighted: Babies are short sighted at birth. Their vision is set to a limit of 8-to-12 inches. They can see people and objects clearly only if they are within this range. Brain size: The brain grows at such a rate in newborns that by the end of the first year,the brain is double the birth size and half its final size! Palmar Grasp: New born babies have a strong grip, as strong as a monkey's. The grip is so strong that if you dangle them on one hand, they can support their own weight. This probably originated from the primitive survival instinct. This strong grasp reduces after a couple of months. Taste buds: Babies have more than 10,000 taste buds situated all over the tongue and even at the roof and sides. As they grow, these extra taste buds disappear.
CryophobiaCold or hot can be a very subjective term as every person's tolerance for either heat or cold can vary. When some of us react in an extreme manner to all things cold, then it could be a case of cryophobia - the fear of catching cold or the fear of cold weather. Derived from the Greek "kryos" + phobos gives us cryophobia, which is a mental aberration where the mind develops a nagging and persistent fear of all things cold - be it cold weather, ice-cream, or maybe even a cold shoulder! Jokes apart, a person suffering from this condition could really experience 'hot weather' in his relationships as he will completely avoid any contact with anything cold. If the weather is a bit nippy then that's a veritable disaster for Mr. 'Avoid De Cold' as he will do everything in his power to stay indoors, for instance - turn on the central heating and wrap himself up until the mercury rises to an agreeable level. Though it is decidedly different from your run-of-the mill phobias, cryophobia could be of various types. There are some who are only afraid of cold in the 'weather' sense and are otherwise cool about touching cold objects or even having an ice-cream. While there are some who would probably break out into, if you will excuse the term, 'cold sweat,' even while watching floating icebergs on a Nat-Geo documentary. So, the sensation of cold is quite subjective, and hence the various strains of cryophobia. Generally, this fear would manifest quite logically for those who have occasioned to be trapped under ice accidently or maybe those who have suffered frost bite from exposure to cold weather during a skiing holiday. Under such circumstances, avoidance, though irrational, could be perfectly logical. If you monitor weather reports constantly and experience discomfort even in moderate climates, then you should get yourself checked for cryophobia, as chances are that soon you will be restricting yourself indoors and cutting yourself off from the rest of the world. Some people might just overcome fear or anxiety by wearing an extra layer of the woolens or turning up the central heating. For deep seated fears, it may require long-term counseling or medication. Some people might just have this morbid fear of developing pneumonia from a common cold and hence may take elaborate measures to avoid going out during cold days. This too can be quite normal since most of us don't want to call a day off from work due to a nasty cold. But despite adequate protection if you are still afraid of venturing out to work or are avoiding social contact just because of an irrational fear of catching cold when the weather outside is made for the beach and you are in the middle of summer! Then the catchphrase is - You have cryophobia!
Faking illnesses - An illness in itself?In 2008, a 28 years old woman in the US shared some shocking news with her friends. She had been detected with cancer. She posted updates on social networking sites and wrote blogs on her illness. Sympathy poured in from all corners. Some even sent in monetary help to cover her expenses. The saddest part of the incident though was not her cancer; it was the fact that she had faked it! Police investigations revealed her little trick when no evidences or records were found at the hospitals! Apparently, this isn't a unique case;  faking illnesses or malingering is a very common occurrence. All of us have done it at some point in our lives. While we may have done it to escape a school punishment or to take undue advantage of the office 'sick leaves' for personal purposes, it is usually done on a harmless level. But faking illness can be a chronic disorder too and  medical professionals even have a name for it-; Munchausen's Syndrome. People suffering from this syndrome fake illnesses that they don't actually have, to gain sympathy or simply to be the center of attention. Usually gaining sympathy is the main reason why people fake illnesses. It gives them a chance to be in the spotlight. Everyone calls and visits, expresses concern and fusses over them. Lots of love is showered upon them. Another common reason for faking illnesses, is money and at times, the monetary benefits are higher than the emotional ones. No one hesitates to fulfill the last wish of a dying person, however expensive it may be. Often there are mixed motivations and the person faking an illness has many reasons to keep up the pretense of being sick, for as long as possible. Some people really do have a disease — a mental illness known as a factitious disorder. People with this disorder pretend to have an illness, which is usually a terminal one and often go to great lengths to maintain their hoax. Munchausen syndrome by proxy, is another form of faking illness. People with this disorder, fake illnesses of people under their care; and they usually do this, for monetary benefits. Children are the most common victims in this disease. When you tell someone that your child has cancer, you will receive a great amount of sympathy and all the money you want, no questions asked! People with these disorders are extremely cunning. They go to great extents to maintain their lies. They will build grand stories, complain of fake pains and aches, get admitted to hospitals and undergo a battery of tests, numerous times. Interestingly, they never allow and frequently discourage medical professionals, from talking to any of their family members. Since they know they are faking the illness, they will refuse to undergo treatment, for obvious reasons. . If you think a loved one may be exaggerating or faking their health issues, attempt a gentle conversation, voicing your concerns. Avoid anger, judgment or confrontation, while offering support and care and if possible, help them in finding a treatment. Treatment includes empathy, helping in identifying feelings and issues that led to the development of the disorder and finding  alternative healthy ways to deal with those feelings and issues.
The age of nutritionAdvantages of Healthy Eating: Increased mental acuteness Resistance to illness and disease Higher energy levels More strong immune system Faster recuperation times Better management of chronic health problems Eating Obstacles for Seniors:  Lifestyle changes: Lifestyle changes can be an eating obstacle. For example single seniors may not know how to cook or may not like eating alone. Activity level: Seniors often cut back on activity for physical and medical reasons. Weight gain can result from the decrease in calories burned. Metabolism: Every year over the age of forty, our metabolism slows down. This means that even if you continue to eat the same amount and kinds of food as when you were younger, you're likely to gain weight because you're burning fewer calories. In addition, you may be less physically active now. Taste and appetite: The senses of taste and smell diminish, so one may be inclined to season one's food more heavily than before even though seniors need less salt than younger people. One may struggle with loss of appetite due to lifestyle, loneliness or a medical condition. Health Issues: Physical ailments and prescription medications, become a daily exercise, and ends up often negatively influencing appetite. Digestion:Due to changes in your digestive system, you generate less saliva and stomach acid as you get older, making it more difficult for your body to process certain vitamins and minerals, such as B12, B6 and folic acid, which are necessary to maintain mental alertness, a keen memory and good circulation. Emotional Factors: Emotional factors such as loneliness and depression can affect your diet. For some, feeling down leads to not eating and in others it may trigger overeating. Specific Nutritional Recommendations for Seniors: Some important guidelines for seniors include Reduce sodium (salt) to prevent high blood pressure, Monitor fat intake in order to maintain healthy cholesterol levels Consume more calcium and vitamin D for bone health Eat more fibre-rich foods to prevent constipation Cut back on sugar and on dry foods Ensure getting recommended amount of important vitamins and minerals Increase water intake, and Perform regular physical activity Eating well as you age is easier than you think: Focus on good carbohydrates. Opt for whole grain nutrition (brown rice, whole wheat bread, rolled oats, barley, and millet), not refined "white" products, such as white bread, white rice, or products made with white flour. To manage weight and maintain optimum health, focus on eating efficiently. This means choosing foods that maximize nutritional value, not calories. Whole, natural, fresh foods such as fruits and vegetables, whole grains, nuts, legumes, healthy sources of protein (poultry, fish, eggs, and tofu) and dairy products that contain calcium constitute efficient eating. Highly processed and refined foods usually contain more calories and fewer nutrients. Raw equals roughage! Aim to eat at least one daily serving of your fruits and vegetables raw. This not only preserves their nutritional value, it's an easy way to eliminate constipation. Steaming is the best way to cook vegetables; it preserves nutrients. Light sauting is next. Bone up on calcium. All dairy products are not created equal. Milk, cheese and yogurt retain their calcium content; cream cheese, cream and butter do not. As part of a healthy senior diet, choose fat-free or low fat dairy products. Choose first-rate fats. Get your "good" fats from oils such as olive oil and sunflower oil, avocados and avocado oil, nuts and seeds. Keep it moist. In addition to drinking enough water each day, aim to consume foods with high water content. Staying properly hydrated flushes toxins from your body, relieves constipation, helps keep your joints flexible and your mind clear. High water content foods include melons, grapes, cucumbers, onions, apples, cabbage, and, of course, soup.
A guide to earwax impactionBiologically, the earwax which builds up over time moves through the ear canal from movement caused by chewing or other jaw motions. It is also extricated through the inside-out motion of the skin of the ear canal - it reaches the outer ear and peels away. The cerumen is produced in the outer regions of the ear and not in the inner recesses. Earwax impaction refers to the condition where the ear wax builds up to such an extent or in such a manner that it causes discomfort to the entire body. In many cases, earwax impaction occurs when patients use cotton swabs or safety pins to clean their ears, only causing the wax to drop deeper into the ears. The main symptoms of earwax impaction include difficulty in hearing, faintness, ache in the ear, foul smell in the ear region, ringing or sound in the ear (also known as tinnitus), a sensation of fullness in the ear, and lastly, discharge from the affected ear. The most vulnerable groups for this condition include those who use hearing aids or ear plugs, elderly people, and those who insert cotton swabs or other items into their ears, as well as those who have an odd ear shape which could negatively affect the discharge of the earwax and those suffering from development incapacities. Did you know that one of the most common methods used by people to clear excessive earwax is ear candling where a candle (in shape of a cone) is placed inside the ear canal and set alight to warm up and remove the wax? This is one of the most dangerous methods causing burns, worsened blocks, and damaged eardrums; this should be clearly avoided. The diagnosis of this condition can be done by an ear specialist using an instrument called otoscope. Earwax impaction is treated in many ways. While at home, you could try to clean the outer region of the ear by wiping with a cloth, the physician could irrigate or syringe the ear to wash out the ear canal with saline. This procedure is generally done once the wax has been softened by the use of cerumenolytic solutions aimed at dissolving the wax like mineral oil, peroxide-based ear drops, and hydrogen peroxide. Physicians also use special instruments to remove the built-up earwax like forceps, cerumen spoon, and suction tool. The best way to prevent cerumen impaction is by not inserting anything into the ears to clean it up. Cotton swabs should only be used in the outer part of the ear. In case you feel that the buildup is regular, then you can fix an annual appointment with your physician for cerumen removal.
Easy tips for fresh breathBrushing your teeth twice daily is not enough for fresh breath. How well you brush, and how long you brush are equally important, as are flossing regularly and eating right. 19 year-old Rita suffers from bad breath. It is a huge drawback for her. No one at college wants to be her friend. Her doctor suggested that she brushes twice daily, and also prescribed a good mouth wash for her. Following this advice has not helped her much. There must be millions of us who identify with Rita's problem. Halitosis, or bad breath, is a huge embarrassment not only for the person who has it, but also for the person who has to bear it. It can be a cause of social isolation, as seen in Rita's case. A fresh smelling breath is a sign of good hygiene. A fresh breath makes you more confident of yourself, and you feel ready to face any challenge that life throws your way. So, what do you do to keep your breath minty fresh all day? Brush twice a day, and use a good mouthwash regularly, would be your reply. But is this enough? Let us start by busting a few myths here! Mouthwash will give you fresh breath all day long. It won't. It will only make your breath fresh temporarily. As long as you brush your teeth regularly, you need not worry about bad breath! Brushing your teeth is necessary. The key here is how long and how well you brush. Most of us brush for 35 to 40 seconds, which is just not enough. One needs to brush properly over all the surfaces of the teeth to clean them well. This should take you not less than two minutes! And you thought brushing twice daily was enough! Here are a few tips to keep your breath fresh: Bad breath is the result of bacterial activity in your mouth. One of the reasons for bacteria to grow is due to dryness. So, never let your mouth go dry. Keep your mouth well hydrated. Drink loads of water. One of the other reasons for bacterial activity in the mouth is the food particles that get accumulated in the cracks between your teeth. Be sure to rinse your mouth well every time you finish eating something. Flossing is an activity you should never ignore. Flossing does what regular brushing cannot do; It removes the food stuck between your teeth. Avoid foods that cause bad breath-like coffee, tea, sugary drinks, garlic, onions, or broccoli. Sugarfree gums are a good way to keep your mouth hydrated, as they increase the flow of saliva. Gel based toothpastes may give you a fresh breath, but the effects are temporary. Go for fluoride toothpaste that is good in the long run. Yoga poses like the Kapal Bhati Pranayam, Sheetali Pranayam, Sheetkari Pranayam, Yoga Mudra, Simha Asana are effective in combating bad breath. Visit your dentist regularly, and get your teeth cleaned professionally. Avoid junk food, and foods that are rich in sugar and fats. Instead, go for fresh fruits and vegetables. Quit smoking and alcohol consumption. Simple things like brushing daily, flossing daily, rinsing your mouth after every meal, and eating right can help you keep your breath smelling fresh all day long.
Work woes - The sexual problems of busy peopleThat one day Mr. X took half a day off and sneaked into his house to surprise his wife, he found her not tending to the garden, but attending to Mr.XXX, the neighbor! Long after the echoes of the shotgun had died down and way after Mr. XXX hopped off, holding on to dear life with trousers around his ankles, Mr. X was found asking himself loudly - why me? Though this story does bring about some amusement, it really isn't amusing to know a whole lot of relationships just going bust all because of the sex word and deed. Couples today are busier than ever, and after the initial euphoria of the relationship wears off; work, career advancements, salary packages get more precedence. Relationships start going off into the realm of a comfort zone where physical touch, intimacy, and sex take a back seat as most people think - "there will be a lot of time for that later." However, time and tide wait for no one- not even bright career enthusiasts, who put their careers over their relationships, only to wake up one day to see their love gone wrong! This is not to say that careers and hefty pay packages and promotions are not important. After all, we can rightly hear one say, "One cannot survive by love and fresh air alone." However, just as it is compulsory to swipe your card at the office door, couples have to ensure that they save some swiping for the bedroom as well. Easier said than done? Perhaps! Here are some of the typical problems that plague the love life of busy people : We have a relationship, why do we need sex? That may be just one partner's opinion! A man who thinks for two and loves for two is going to be in for a nasty surprise at some point. Sure, work pressure will always be there and so will conference calls and decision making. So, if you think your partner is going to live by the memories of your last intimate encounter, you need to get a reality check. Sure, your partner will probably understand that you are busy and maybe the fault is not entirely yours- maybe she is busy too! Sooner or later, you will have to figure out whether you are just flat mates or a real couple. And a real couple does things together- laughs, meets, makes love, fights, makes up, and all that! A good sex life only reinforces the emotional bond between couples and takes the relationship to another level. Going purely by sexual intercourse, then yes, sexual intercourse is, of course, healthy and has a lot of physiological benefits to offer like reduction of pain and feel-good endorphins. Some of us might just take only that bit and have sex with the first available person in sight! The point is sex within the framework of a relationship, can give better results and can foster strong ties, but the guilt from cheating on your partner can also add another reason for stress, which considering your already busy life, could well be the final straw that broke the camel's back. We do have an annual vacation, don't we? Sure! Timeshare holidays and stock options can make the best of vacation places easily accessible. So, the deal is - take your annual vacation abroad and stop groaning! What if you were paid just once a year or were allowed to eat just once a week? Would make you feel really great, right? Relationships need more than your annual vacation. Even a regular walk in the morning together is a better idea than a vacation on a cruise liner. In our material aspirations, we forget that good things in life are completely free. If only you weren't so brand conscious, you would've seen them right away. So, don't save all that sex up for the annual vacation; a weekend getaway will, in fact, add more spunk to your life. Thinking of you! Even the thought that one is in someone's thoughts can be so warm and bring out the best in a person. People who have a partner waving them off when they set off to work are generally happy and more productive at the workplace and have fewer disagreements or upsets. So, imagine the good luck charm being quadrupled by lovemaking! Call it stolen moments of passion. Take a chance... you might just be a little late for work, but then this is important business too! Be spontaneous and watch your partner respond to your sense of urgency. If that's not possible, then at least send a "thinking of you" message, or if you are more creative, you can personalize it with your brand of naughtiness and raunchiness. Rest assured, this will help you actually find the time to make love on a regular basis and your girl might even find a new you and actually miss you when you are gone. Shift workers: Don't shift the blame...shift the time to make love. The tragedy of these times is when both people are out working and both are extremely ambitious and both work different shifts. He is dead tired when she is all up and chirpy. It is night for one, daytime for the other! Wow, what a predicament to be in! One weary soul bone tired and hardly in the mood for love making! Who says you have to go all the way every day. Even touch therapy can be extremely enchanting, healing, invigorating, and can eventually lead to sex. Imagine a hand that caresses your brow as you crib about your boss's bitchiness or the conference that you have been given single handedly to handle? A kiss exchanged at the right time can sometimes do way with the sex part if you are too tired for it. Important thing is to wake up in your lover's arms rather than wake up too late to the fact that you have no love life. This can be a beautiful experience and you can exchange places, giving your partner a sensual body massage when she comes back from her shift. Making love, for sure, is important, but what is more important is keeping the love alive for the making of it!
How to talk about STDsThese are dangerous times that we live in. Just the sheer number of people affected by sex related problems, diseases and conditions all over the world is simply terrifying. AIDS, venereal infections like syphilis and gonorrhea, herpes, HPV etc. are rampant and it calls for some responsible sexual behavior. However, that's a utopian world where humans will be monogamous and will behave responsibly. Even single people might get exposed to these diseases through indulging in risky sexual contact. Imagine doling out $750,000, as a woman in the US got from her husband because he gave her herpes. Even if you are not held legally accountable, what about moral responsibility to own up and discuss a possible STD infection with your partner! Take the case of Jack a happily married man for ten years who had casual sex when out of town on an official trip. He showed no obvious symptoms of any infection but in a month, his wife showed signs of herpes and his marriage crumbled as his wife struggled to come to terms with her husband's obvious infidelity and his callous manner in exposing her to a serious sexual infection. Call it ignorance but sometimes a person might engage in sexual intercourse and contract a disease which he might even not be aware of until the symptoms start appearing. (Refer article on Syphilis on www.topdoctorsonline.com) By then, he might have, in all probability, passed it on to his regular sexual partner or spouse. Or perhaps, there is another possibility that the person knows that he has contracted a sexual infection but doesn't know how to break the news to his partner.  If a person is aware of his infection, yet exposes another person knowingly, it is akin to premeditated murder. Yes, it is going to be a difficult thing to tell your partner which might even signal the end of the relationship or cause severe strain on it. So, if you are caught in a situation like this, what would you do? The option would be to visit a sex therapist and confide in him and then take an appointment for both and let the professional break it to the partner. That is of course if you are in a stable relationship. For those who both party to casual sex, the infected person generally won't be that open about his infection and may even choose not to care particularly if the other person is a complete stranger. A report in MedlinePlus news reveals some more shocking statistics: Many people said they occasionally, rarely or never got tested before having sex with casual partners (50 percent) or long-term partners (39 percent). Of the people who did discuss STD testing, very few discussed concurrent sexual partners or when partners' testing occurred in relation to their last sex act. Only half explained what types of STDs their partner had been tested for. These issues are important components of assessing STD risk, the researchers said. About one-third of participants reported telling a partner they didn't have an STD even though they hadn't been tested since their last sexual partner. One U.S. woman was awarded $750,000 in court from her ex-husband because he gave her herpes, and the legal trend is to make people accountable. (http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-talk-to-a-partner-about-stds.html) Remember even wearing a condom is not a 100% guarantee that the infection won't pass on to the other person but that's the least that you can do if you don't have the courage to spill the beans about your condition. If you feel that your partner may be indulging in sexual activity with multiple partners and if you feel he might be infected, then you are well within your rights to decline to have sex with him until he/she gets tested. If you notice sores around the genitals do not indulge in oral or anal sex or any kind of sex and insist on a condom always; it could save your life.
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