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Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
The moody man - Mood swings in menMen, such jokes on a woman's monthly mood swings are passe. Recent research proves that men are equally prone to have mood swings. Have you experienced a myriad of emotions? Angry, irritated, feeling helpless, self-pity, an irrational urge to throw things and cry and be depressed all at the same time? These are signs of mood swings. And the point of interest here is that you don't have to be a woman to experience mood swings. Men face their share of mood swings too! Men undergo hormonal influence too. And like women this causes them too to be irritable and cranky. The difference here is that the hormonal fluctuations are not as severe in men as in women. So the mood change lasts for a lesser time compared to a woman. Men's moods are also affected by psychological and physiological stressors. So a man who has to work against time to meet a deadline will be very irritable. A man who is deprived of sleep will end up snapping at you for no apparent reason. The myth that men don't cry, is something that men take to heart. Men are emotional beings and it is okay to show some of the emotions. The male stereotypical image is such that if a man is expressive of his emotional side, he isn't considered macho enough. Hence men tend to internalize their emotions and feelings. Often this leads to chronic depression. Taming the mood swings. Any form of physical exercise helps keep the mood in balance. This helps in keeping the aggressiveness under check. Sex is also a great way to release the stress and feel better, rather than snapping and using profanities. Another helpful way is to ask yourself 'why'. Whenever you feel that you are doing something irrational or out of character, ask yourself why. The answer you get from yourself will help clear the situation and you will end up handling it in a mature fashion. The irritable male syndrome. This is the male equivalent of the female menopause - The Andropause. It covers the symptoms seen in middle-aged men that occur due to the drop in testosterone levels. Like women, men show mood changes, bouts of irritability, grumpiness, hypersensitivity, anxiety and frustration. The recent research on men having mood swings and the society's acceptance of these findings is very encouraging. It helps stress in the fact that men are emotional too. There is nothing anti-macho about a man crying his heart out at times. It only shows he is human, after all.
Dilemma of a working woman - How to stay healthy!Women want to be healthy and beautiful. But most of us are not able to find the time to exercise or plan our meals. We pay more attention and money on therapies to look good externally. But good looks come from good health, and good health is an outcome of a healthy lifestyle. Healthy lifestyle helps in preventing illnesses and makes us more efficient. Improper and irregular diet, lack of physical activity, and stress are the chief causes of poor physical and mental health. Most working women today are occupied with their desk jobs, and as a result have a sedentary lifestyle. Eating junk food most of the times makes the matter worse. So if you want to stay healthy, here are some changes you can make. Add movement to life. Activities like walking, gardening, swimming or aerobics help build endurance and relieve stress. Choose something which you think you can consistently - Yoga, aerobics, cycling or even dancing. Balanced diet plays a pivotal role in fitness. Fruits, vegetables, and whole grains are a must in your diet. Antioxidants in fruits have an anti-ageing effect. Choose to eat in order to satisfy hunger and build healthy body, and not to feed your emotions. Avoid junk and processed food. They are empty calories. Drink water. Dehydration affects metabolism. Drink 8-10 glasses a day to flush out the toxins. Add liquids like milk, fruit juices to your diet. Positive thoughts help build a healthy mind and a healthy mind ensures healthy body. Do not smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol to deal with stress. Try yoga, meditation, listen to music, or take a nice shower to relax. Rest and relaxation helps to cope with daily stress. Making these lifestyle changes as a regimen will surely help working women to live a life of health, wellness and fitness.  
Inspiring fitness goals for womenBeing fit comes with the benefit of enhanced mood and lowered hormonal rages. Coupled with right proportion of sleep, hydration, and a job you love, you will be nearing towards a perfect body. Goal 1: WorkOut Your Body to A Song! Make a playlist of all the songs you love and choose to execute your regime through it. Goal 2: "Be Yourself" Challenge Holistically develop your body by acknowledging what you love to do. Choose a sport that you love and join a group. If you love animals, then walk your dog which will let you lose weight and enjoy the company of pets. If painting or photography interests you, then trekking along landscapes of beauty should be your weekend getaway. Goal 3: Become the Hourglass with 1-Month Workout Regime Evaluate your body type and create a month-long regime to gradually progress towards animpeccable body shape and continue it beyond the initial 1 month. Start with small steps and do not go in for crash diets. Choose healthier snacks. Add a bit ofsleep to your daily dose in case you tend to sleep less. Begin with 15minutes of workout containing exercises recommended by your trainer to suit your body. Goal 4: Be the Health-Smart Mom! Lose the extra pounds you brought on during pregnancy and set a role model for your children. Go to the park with your children and play games with them. Pick up sports that you all can share and do together! Goal 5: The Yoga Guru Pick up yoga and start from the first step. Did you know that the initiation of anyone into the system of Yoga occurs through stage of Yama? Yama refers to the ethical principles that will guide your life while you move towards taking control of your life. The five Yamasin yoga are non-violence, truthfulness, non-stealing, celibacy, and non-possessiveness. They form the ground for your body to start on a healthy path. Move yourself towards following these principles and pick up the following asanas (body-postures) to lose weight: setu band (the bridge pose), bhekasana, dhanurasana, shalabhasana, chakki chalan, nauka chalan, and sarvangasana. A healthy lifestyle is the framework for any fitness goal. Do not go for unrealistic or transient goals. Start by making preparatory changes in your lifestyle: Lower your junk food intake, sleep adequately, drink at least two liters of water daily and hydrate your body sufficiently. Goal 6: Going Back to Nature Plan a trekking trip to your dream destination and walk your fat away. Bring back home a healthier body and a more peaceful mind. Goal 7: Master Your Body Make a journal of all activities you do in a day. The intention is to become aware of your habits that might be hurting your body unknowingly. Trace habits like binging on a snack while watching TV, sitting in a bad posture while on the desk and reading a book at a dimly lit place may be few pointers. This is a long-term challenge (4 months) to bring your body under your control through self-awareness. Goal 8: Green Regime Go for a diet which involves vegetables, fruits, and grains. Detoxify your body by being off junk food for at least two months. Goal 9: Bony to Healthy Increase your weight to become the inspiration for underweight people and guide them towards a healthy body. Goal 10: Run for the World Join marathons and runs for different social causes. Commonly known as 'Run for a Cause,' be the torchbearer to a certain cause by joining organizations that work on the same and initiating a run or marathon. This will not only prepare your body and move it towards healthy living; you will also be doing your part for the others.
A correctable disfigurement of face: Cleft lip and palateThe Times of India reports that "With an incidence of 7 per 1000 children, cleft lip and palate deformity is one of the most common deformities among Indian children." The number of infants born every year with cleft lip and cleft palate in India is 28,600. This means 78 affected infants are born every day or 3 infants with clefts are born every hour. Cleft lip and palate develop early in pregnancy where lack of adequate amounts of tissues lead to two parts of the face failing to join adequately at the middle. A cleft lip or hare lip (as it is commonly called) refers to separation of the two sides of the upper lip. There appears a narrow opening or gap over the skin of the upper lip. This separation may sometimes extend beyond the base of the nose and may involve the upper gum and/or the bones of the upper jaw. A cleft palate refers to the gap between the two edges of the roof of the mouth, causing it to remain open at birth. The bony front portion of the roof of the mouth or the hard palate may be involved alone, or along with the soft palate or the soft back portion of the roof of the mouth. Since lip and the palate develop separately, it is possible to have a cleft lip without a cleft palate or vice versa. Causes of developing cleft lip and cleft palate: The exact cause of cleft lip and palate is unknown. Some research, however, suggests that these clefts are caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. The risk of such clefts thus can be reduced by adopting a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy. This includes avoidance of smoking, alcohol and having a healthy diet to avoid excessive weight gain during pregnancy. Cleft lip and palate can occur alone with no other problems or defects. This is called non-syndromic clefts. They may also occur as part of other birth defects and then may be called part of a syndrome. Cleft lip and palate may occur on one side (unilateral) or may occur on both sides (bilateral). Unilateral cleft lip and palate is more common than bilateral cleft lip and palate. Left-sided cleft lip and palate is twice as common as right-sided cleft lip and palate. The reason for this is unclear. A cleft lip or combined cleft lip and palate are seen more commonly in male babies. Cleft palate alone is more common in female babies. The face of the baby usually develops around 5th and 9th weeks of pregnancy thus this defect may arise early in pregnancy. Treatment of cleft lip and palate: Cleft lip and palate is usually corrected using cosmetic or plastic surgery. Results are usually very good. After treatment, most children have a normal appearance. To prevent and correct associated speech problems and dental problems, treatment is also sought from speech and language therapists, as well as dental surgeons (orthodontic specialists). Excellent results may be seen if the specialists work in tandem.
What is megalomania?Bertrand Russell's quote on megalomania perfectly describes the condition:"The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history." Megalomania is a delusional bipolar disorder. The sufferer believes he is an all-powerful person and that he is superior to all other people. Megalomania comes from the Greek words megalo which means large or great and mania which means madness. It is a psychopathological disorder that has delusional fantasies of power, exaggerated self esteem and a sense of omnipotence. The sufferer may believe he is God or some famous athlete. Although megalomania is a term used for power hungry people, it is clinically described under the mental disorder of narcissism. Narcissism is self-love. Though self-love is a healthy concept, narcissism is a pathological state where one loves oneself to the extent that he starts despising others. Megalomania is caused by certain phobias and mental conditions associated with emotions and personality. In everyday life, megalomania can be a person's mental way of reacting to frustration, abandonment or some serious loss. In the social world, the term megalomaniac is often synonymous with control freaks, power-drunk army generals, executives and politicians. The treatment of megalomania includes medications. The challenge here is that the person may not believe he has anything wrong with him. He, in fact, believes that he is so great that no harm can come to him, so talking him into getting himself treated is very difficult. Adolf Hitler, the German dictator, was a power-hungry control freak. He believed that he was the supreme commander and that his race was the only race suited to inhabit earth. All other races, especially Jews, were inferior and had to be wiped off the face of the earth. Adolf Hitler was megalomaniac.
Where does your happiness lie? - Importance of emotional well-beingAn emotionally well person is characterized by ability to handle and adapt to changes, to efficiently deal with stress, has a positive self-image and can take decisions independently to cater to his needs. Striving forward with a sense of purpose, an emotionally strong person has the capacity to build and sustain fruitful relationships without over-dependence. Being emotionally well does not imply that you do not experience pain and suffering. Pain and suffering is an essential part of every person's life. The strength of your emotional well-being is determined by how you look at and react to them. Those who are emotionally well can treat their adversities as opportunities to change and move ahead with greater strength. Signs of an emotionally ill person include stress, frustration, discomfort with changes, negativity in thoughts, and unreasonable paranoia about the intention of other's actions, discontent, and depression. There is also the feeling of guilt over inability to hold relationships and of not being able to keep others happy. You may also find yourself unworthy and feel that you do not deserve to be happy. Such sensation of low self-worth fuels the need to look for other ways to feel relaxed - thus, resulting in substance dependence. In cases of severe emotional ill-being, one could experience sleeplessness, hopelessness, suicidal, and uncontrollable negative thoughts. Relation between emotional and physical well-being: Emotional well-being is closely related to your physical body. They share a symbiotic relation with one another.By taking care of your body, you allow balanced production of hormones and smooth functioning of the other body parts - allowing them to respond efficiently during tough situations and also assisting the body to cope with physically challenging conditions. By being emotionally strong, you will also contribute towards faster and effective treatment of your body from illnesses. Your emotional well-being is determined by the following factors: family background, companionships, past history of relationships, sensitivity to nature and genetic dispositions. Those who come from troubled family background find it harder to associate in a healthy way with others during their adulthood. In many cases genetically, a person has greater propensity towards being emotionally weak - though this can be controlled and molded into strength by one's own actions. Depending on the type of educational institutions you attended, your companionships could be those which built your self-image positively or which hindered your capacity to take care of yourself (due to instances of bullying and teasing). Past romantic relationships also determine how you deal with your emotions in the present. Those who are sensitive to nature have been found to have greater consideration for human beings as well as non-human beings around them. Every factor is a condition which can be shaped by the efforts of the individual. Emotional well-being is primarily built on the belief that you can create your own reality by choosing your actions. How to promote your emotional well-being? Be optimistic :  Emotional and mental well-being is majorly decided by how you look at your life. Even though you have many sufferings, are you able to accept them and find ways to get through them, knowing that the good is yet to come? Flip through the inspiring stories of people around you to motivate optimism. Find your beauty : Listen to the needs of your body and do not impose your mental ideas of beauty on it. Beauty of each person is determined by their unique characteristics. Do not let the conventional standards of beauty pull you down. Know that you are unique and beauty is not necessarily an external but an inner state of mind. Stay with those who care for you : You might see the need to sacrifice your happiness for others in some instances. However, if you find yourself doing that 8 out of 10 times in any relationship, it is time to seriously reconsider how you wish to live. Is your happiness being taken for granted? Are you running this relationship because you are afraid of being alone, knowing that it is going nowhere in the future? Those who care for you will show it through their actions. The best way to love yourself is by being able to see yourself through their eyes. Take care of your body :  Get adequate sleep daily and make sure your body gets lots of nutritious food. Don't let the advertisements decide the needs of your body. Try out different cuisines and let your body tell you which one it feels is most suitable. Exercise moderately everyday by taking a walk in a green area with your loved one (Remember that the point of exercising is not only to lose weight, but to sweat away your stress daily in fun ways!) Follow your heart : Do what you love. There is nothing that could harm your emotional well-being more than doing something which you know is not right and which you do not want to do. Confucius has dropped us a fortune cookie of happiness when he said that in choosing a job you love, you will never have to work a single day of your life. Get a pet companion :  Adopt an animal and take care of it. In taking care of the pet, you will realize and gradually get in touch with yourself, becoming aware of who you are as a human being. This could be the starting point of discovering your true potentials. Volunteer at social services : Let your creativity and emotions flow by connecting to those around you. Depending on your interests, choose a type of social service - old age home, orphanage, animal shelter, being with terminally ill people, and so on. Such activities will help to positively channelize your emotions.
How to say 'Bye' to split ends? Check out these 10 tips!One of the main reasons for split ends is the use of curling irons and other heat-induced styling treatments. When you go for hair products like hair colors or perms, the shield over your hair's shaft that protects it can get stripped off, thus making your hair liable to split ends. You could also be mechanically stressing your hair by pulling them too much while combing or combing repeatedly. Remember that rubbing your hair up towards the direction of the scalp does not lead to split ends. While there is no remedy to treat split ends, there are ways in which you can keep them away. Did you know that a medical research showed that the only way to keep split ends away is to put a stop on the excessive use of chemical on it? Hairdresser, Holly Kensen, says that split ends are the results of pushing out the natural process and pulling in too many chemicals. It is best to stay away from the styling products and embrace your natural hair! TIP 1 : Get hold of a piece of rosemary (fresh ones are the best!) and immerse them in a cup of hot water for 30 minutes. Once the temperature of the water is back to normal, whisk an egg into it. Mix this blend onto your hair. Rinse after 15 minutes using a light shampoo. TIP 2 : Bring home a ripe papaya and cut it into halves. Choose the part which you believe will be sufficient for your hair. Take off the skin and seeds. Mash it until it becomes a paste. Then, drop a cup of yogurt and stir them into a smooth paste. Apply it on your hair and let it hold for about 30 minutes. Use cold water to rinse it off. TIP 3 : Condition your hair with castor oil. Mix equal amounts of castor, almond, and olive oil and apply it on your hair generously. Wrap your hair in a towel and let it stay for 30 minutes. Then, shampoo your hair. TIP 4 : After you have shampooed your hair, apply a mix of cream and milk on them for about 20 minutes. Focus especially on the ends. Rinse your hair with cold water. TIP 5 :If you decide to trim your hair on your own, then don't use the paper scissors! They are called 'paper' scissors for a reason. Get hold of hair shears which will not leave your ends damaged. TIP 6 : Trim your hair every six to eight weeks at least up to ¼ to 1 inch. Due to our environment, it is natural for the hair to get damaged in a few weeks. It is important to remove the split ends and let them grow healthy. TIP 7 : Do not trust products which say that they can 'cure' your split ends. Split ends are not curable. They are preventable. The only thing that these products do is to seal up the splits which only makes your hair unhealthy. TIP 8 : Try to stay away from chemicals as much as you can. Chemicals only tamper with your natural hair and ruin their texture. If you really have to use it then make sure you condition them regularly. TIP 9 : Use coconut oil to fix your split ends. Buy an extra-virgin and organic coconut oil. Before washing your hair, apply about 2 spoons of the oil on your dry hair. Emphasize on the hair ends. If you want, you can steam your hair for some time (about 20 minutes). Then, wash your hair with a light shampoo and condition them. TIP 10 :This is one of the best ways to help your split ends stay away: Get hold of chamomile tea and brew it on a pot. Then pre-rinse your hair with it. After you have rinsed them, wash and condition your hair normally.
5 tips to reduce your salt intakeSalt is an inevitable part of our food, but added salt has harmful effects on the body. The list of benefits in reducing sodium/salt intake in our diet runs long, ranging from lower blood pressure, in turn leading to reduced risks of heart disease, obesity, and diseases of the kidney. The daily sodium intake of an individual should not exceed 1500-2300 mg per day (a table spoon of salt approximately), and this needs to be maintained in the salt added to our food, including the processed food and drinks we buy. Sodium, an indispensable component of our diet, is consumed in excess by most of us. Follow the tips, as mentioned below, to curb your daily salt intake. Avoid added salt. Do not add salt to already cooked food while eating. Keep a diary and make a list of foods with salt in them that you eat daily. Do not forget to add pickles, spices, papads, salted biscuits, and salted nuts. All of these are highly loaded with salt. Next time you go shopping read the labels. Choose low-salt options-sauces, crackers, khakhra, instead of papad. Make an attempt to eat less canned and processed foods. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables over processed food. Eat less bread. Each bread slice has about 250 mg of sodium. Do not mistake bread to be healthy. Next time, keep this in mind when you go out to eat pizza. Pizza base is like bread. While cooking food, make it a point to add salt only towards the end in the recipe. This way you will need to add lesser salt. Sodium content of some foods Bread (one slice) - 250mg Cheese pizza: 450 - 1200mg Tomato soup: 350 - 1000mg Potato chips: 100 - 150mg
Easy tips for fresh breathBrushing your teeth twice daily is not enough for fresh breath. How well you brush, and how long you brush are equally important, as are flossing regularly and eating right. 19 year-old Rita suffers from bad breath. It is a huge drawback for her. No one at college wants to be her friend. Her doctor suggested that she brushes twice daily, and also prescribed a good mouth wash for her. Following this advice has not helped her much. There must be millions of us who identify with Rita's problem. Halitosis, or bad breath, is a huge embarrassment not only for the person who has it, but also for the person who has to bear it. It can be a cause of social isolation, as seen in Rita's case. A fresh smelling breath is a sign of good hygiene. A fresh breath makes you more confident of yourself, and you feel ready to face any challenge that life throws your way. So, what do you do to keep your breath minty fresh all day? Brush twice a day, and use a good mouthwash regularly, would be your reply. But is this enough? Let us start by busting a few myths here! Mouthwash will give you fresh breath all day long. It won't. It will only make your breath fresh temporarily. As long as you brush your teeth regularly, you need not worry about bad breath! Brushing your teeth is necessary. The key here is how long and how well you brush. Most of us brush for 35 to 40 seconds, which is just not enough. One needs to brush properly over all the surfaces of the teeth to clean them well. This should take you not less than two minutes! And you thought brushing twice daily was enough! Here are a few tips to keep your breath fresh: Bad breath is the result of bacterial activity in your mouth. One of the reasons for bacteria to grow is due to dryness. So, never let your mouth go dry. Keep your mouth well hydrated. Drink loads of water. One of the other reasons for bacterial activity in the mouth is the food particles that get accumulated in the cracks between your teeth. Be sure to rinse your mouth well every time you finish eating something. Flossing is an activity you should never ignore. Flossing does what regular brushing cannot do; It removes the food stuck between your teeth. Avoid foods that cause bad breath-like coffee, tea, sugary drinks, garlic, onions, or broccoli. Sugarfree gums are a good way to keep your mouth hydrated, as they increase the flow of saliva. Gel based toothpastes may give you a fresh breath, but the effects are temporary. Go for fluoride toothpaste that is good in the long run. Yoga poses like the Kapal Bhati Pranayam, Sheetali Pranayam, Sheetkari Pranayam, Yoga Mudra, Simha Asana are effective in combating bad breath. Visit your dentist regularly, and get your teeth cleaned professionally. Avoid junk food, and foods that are rich in sugar and fats. Instead, go for fresh fruits and vegetables. Quit smoking and alcohol consumption. Simple things like brushing daily, flossing daily, rinsing your mouth after every meal, and eating right can help you keep your breath smelling fresh all day long.
Some tips to prevent night blindnessHere are some foods and eating tips, which will help improve vision and prevent night blindness: Eat dark green leafy vegetables like spinach and collards. These contain high amount of lutein and zeaxanthin, the nutrients for healthy eyes. Do not smoke. A glass of red wine daily is fine but drinking is not. Stay away from hydrogenated oils, refined carbohydrates and sugars in excess. Always wear sunglasses while going out in bright light to avoid potential sun damage to eyes.  Amber and grey-coloured lenses are effective against ultraviolet rays. See an eye specialist and get prescription glasses for driving at night, if required. Do not ride in dim light at night and see if you can postpone the work until next day. Even good lighting conditions at night even in a big city, can be troublesome to someone with night blindness. Vitamin A rich foods like spinach, carrot, papaya, broccoli, and mangoes should be added to your daily diet. Fish oil is a great source of vitamin A. Cod-liver oil is used as medicine too. Some wild plants are said to be rich in vitamin Abut they are seasonal, available in small quantities and there isn't much known about them. Beans are another fairly common source of vitamin A. These are consumed especially during autumn. Eggs are a good source of vitamin A. Eat eggs daily. People with high cholesterol should, however, limit their egg intake. Hot pepper is contains vitamin A too, but the preservation method, sun-drying, decreases the vitamin A content. Carrots are another good source. They are high in vitamin A and arenot expensive as well.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
Reasons for skipping sexThe most important satisfaction brick in a marriage's foundation, sex is where we show the greatest trust, most openly express intimacy and make ourselves most vulnerable. It is the most personal and private area of our relationship. It is the one area that separates this relationship from all others. Yet, there are times for both husbands and wives when sex becomes a burden and not a blessing, an inconvenience instead of intimacy, and a job instead of jubilee. Curious as to why people might be skipping sex? This is only a partial list and far from exhaustive. Reasons related to your body: I have a migraine. I have a stomachache. My body is too tired. My breasts are too sore. I am too sleepy. I can't keep my eyes open. I just need to take a little nap first. Okay, but I have a rash. Okay, but I have several weird looking cold sores. Reasons related to your emotions: I am depressed. I am worried. I am sad. Cry Reasons related to your kids: The kids are still up. We might wake up the kids. I just had a baby. This baby is wearing me out. Reasons related to your experts: My therapist said I need to give myself some time. My counselor said I should create some boundaries. I have to see my Gynecologist tomorrow. The Doctor gave me these sleeping pills for stress and I just took one. Reasons related to your spouse: Who was that girl / guy you were talking to on the phone? Sex, Sex, Sex All you ever want is sex! Why can't you just hold me? You should have asked in a more romantic way! Why do you have to use such crude language? Reasons related to your weather: It's just too hot. It's just too cold. It's too humid. Reasons related to your economy: When the economy improves. When the interest rates go down. When inflation goes down Reasons related to your special circumstances: We just got back from vacation! When I lose 20 kgs. Reasons related to your friends: I need to make a call first. My friend said they only do it once a month. Reasons related to your pets: The dog can see us. The cat is on the bed. Reasons related to your finances: Okay, but first we need to talk about the bills. Why did you charge this hotel room on our credit card? Reasons related to your job or boss: I have to get up early tomorrow. I was up all night last night. I had a long day at work today. The boss just gave me a new project and I have a lot of work to do Reasons related to your religion: Doesn't the Bible warn against having too much sex. I am sorry, but I just took a vow. I am giving up sex for Lent. Reasons related to your in-laws: We are in your parent's house. I have not been able to concentrate since your mother Your parents will hear us. Offer an alternative: Can I just take care of you in the shower? Okay, but you have to drive the kids to school in the morning. Use evasive tactics: Sneak in and go to sleep early. Okay, but let's watch this movie first. It's just too late. I'll be there in a minute. (Take an hour) Can we just cuddle? I just need you to hold me. Ask a sensitive question: Did you go to the bank and make our deposit today? Have you seen the kid's report cards? Wait for your spouse to tease you and then say coldly, well, you just lost whatever you were going to get tonight.
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