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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Yoga to strengthen women's lifeEveryone expects from a women for all their necessities. The husband needs to go to office and she has to prepare for this, the son or daughter needs to go to school, tiffin needs to be packed, and the in-laws need her attention for the morning tea and breakfast. Along with this she has to rush to office on time. Then while returning, she has buy vegetables and other things for household, then go home and cook, and sleep late after all the chores are done. For such a multi-tasking working-women, the time available is very less to replenish the energy she uses to do such work. Multitasking leads to stress and tension and causes headaches, stiff neck, tight shoulders, poor posture, shortness of breath, clenched teeth and fatigue. What is the solution for this? The only solution is YOGA.  We all know that yoga has many positive effects on ones well-being; it brings about both physiological and psychological benefits. It is beneficial for body, mind, and spirit. It needs only 10 minutes. Yoga helps to relieve your stress and tension. Yoga in Sanskrit means 'YOG' that is to join or unite. It is the union of mind, body, spirit, and breath with our surroundings and our universe. One should start yoga gradually with a comfortable speed and limits. Breathing exercises are excellent way to reduce stress and tension. It can be done along with asanas. For this you have to sit comfortably with relaxed shoulders and with your chin level at the floor. Inhale through the nose expanding your abdomen, rib cage, then expand your chest, then begin to exhale by contracting your abdomen, ribs and then lastly relax your chest. Now continue to breath in this fashion, this improves the quality and quantity of oxygen that enters our body and helps to relieve the shortness of breath and relieves the tension. The yoga mudra is helpful to relieve the stress, for this sit down crossed legged on the mat and keep the back straight, then take the arms behind your back and hold the left wrist with the right hand. Then by exhaling, bend forward to touch your left knee, while doing this focus on the feeling of surrendering to God, which protects you all the time, then while inhaling come back to the normal position and repeat this on the right side. Then finally, complete this pose by touching the forehead to the ground in front in the centre, while doing this exhale, then when you feel like inhaling come back to the normal position. This posture increases the energy and stimulates your respiration, improves your digestion calms your nerves. But this should be avoided by pregnant women, hernia patients, and patients with retinal disorder. The shavasana also helps you to relax your body before you get to work. In this you have to lie down on your back on the mat. Keep your arms a foot away from your body and your feet separated two feet apart.  Then close your eyes and focus on your breathing and feel free of thoughts and tension. Breathe normally and focus on your body parts, toes, legs, abdomen, head and finally the scalp and try to relax each muscle group. It improves your breathing, concentration, gives inner peace. You should avoid this if you are suffering from low blood pressure.  
Marrying late in lifeConventionally, the marriage age is determined according to the linear formula of happiness that we have constructed and believe to be true. The formula being: getting married by 24 --> having children by 27 --> working (optional) --> becoming a grandparent (that too, real soon!). However, time and again, men and women wandering in their 40s-50s have woken up from the deep disturbed slumber to realize that maybe- just maybe, they had walked into things too fast. They had been unable to know who they are and to become a self-conscious human being before being ready to fuse their lives with another. The prime point of being single and marrying later in life is not to go on some form of egoistic joy-trip but to be able to know oneself and become ready to be the right person for the other. By marrying late, you give yourself time to experience freely what you like and dislike. You get to explore the world at your own terms- travel whenever you want and involve yourself in festivals and activities that manifest who you are. Marrying early doesn't allow for time to explore one's being, as marriage generally immediately follows the time you finish your studies or begin working. One of the most important aspects of adulthood today is travelling. However, every individual has unique wants of travelling and being a single adult will allow you to experience the world fully. You will also get in touch with yourself, exploring how you would like to live. The decision will arise from a ground of experiences which would clearly tell you what repels and what appeals to you. Such experiences are rarely findable once you begin living with another, as you would have to schedule your days and basically, your routine around the other's life as well. Financially, you have reached a point where you know how to take care and manage finances, allowing you to plan your wedding pragmatically. Marrying at a later point in your life allows you to be clear about when you would like to be a parent. Your experiences also ready you to be a considerate and understanding parent who can guide a child. As you grow older, you tend to become more tolerant and the propensity towards differences turning into unnecessary fights is lowered. As our ways of looking at the world change, every person as an individual has the need to learn to see the world as a home. This feeling of being at home is created only through series of experiences one has to go through as a responsible adult. In the face of inexperience, two individuals coming together often find themselves incapable of being happy with one another. Marrying later allows you to have grown into a wiser person yourself before sharing your life with another.
Stress - Even kids cannot escape!Often when we feel overwhelmed with stress, we go back in the past and reflect. We miss our golden days of childhood.We think of those days with fondness, miss the free and carefree times. We feel like becoming kids again. But the truth is that at no age are we free of stress and worries. It is just that with time, we move on to newer situations and every new stressor seems worse than the previous one. Children stress out too, some more than the others. Stressors Simple things like a test in school, a Physical Training class or poem recital could mean a lot of stress for the little ones. The desire to meet the expectations of parents or teachers also creates tremendous pressure on the children. They are eager to do well at all the times and the smallest failures can upset these kids immensely. Peer groups are difficult to manage. In childhood, the social maturity is not sufficiently developed to handle day-to-day conflicts. Trivial fights or comments from classmates and friends can lead to a long-lasting impact on the vulnerable minds. They get easily influenced by their friends. Elder siblings also play a major role. Some act as mentors, some as bullies. Some cause damage unknowingly, some are plain indifferent. Life is full of new things and childhood is a fast-track learning lesson. Every other day, there is something new a child has to do. Meet a new kid, learn a new subject, try to dodge a ball differently or ride a bicycle without side wheels; there is too much to learn. These cause anxiety and may make the child nervous. Performance pressures, technology, precocity, media influences, etc. are some of the other factors that add to the stress in childhood. Signs Watch out for subtle changes in moods and behaviour. With adults, it is easier to identify the stress and hence rectify it. But with children, it is quite a challenge. Most of the children are themselves unaware of the stress they are facing, they don't understand why they are feeling sad or angry or fearful. They are just not at ease. Inordinate crying or screaming is a common sign. Being withdrawn, aloof and quiet is another way by which kids express their tensions. Physical signs can be seen in basic physiological changes - in sleep patterns (oversleeping or inability to sleep), eating habits (not eating or eating too much), frequent aches and pains, especially digestion disturbances and headaches, etc. Managing childhood stress Pay attention to your child. Listen to what he/she is saying, but also try to listen to what he/she is not saying in words, although only in action. Help the kids open up to you, spend quality time with them and talk to them about everything under the sun. Be well connected with their school teachers and parents of their closest friends. If the need be, please don't hesitate to reach out and seek professional help from psychologists and child counsellors. "One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood." - Agatha Christie  
Bonding with the babyIt is an immense pleasure to hold a baby in your arms, isn't it? The bonding between amotherand her baby starts within the womb itself. When the baby is born, a few parents bond with the baby within minutes. But for others this may take some time. If the baby is taking time to respond to your affections, don't worry, here are some tips to help you with the bonding. Babies respond to the mother by making sounds, grasping, smiling, or crying. Touching, holding, kissing, cuddling, talking and singing help build a bond with your child. Infants prefer a human face to any other stimuli. So face your child as much as possible. The attention span of a new born baby is quite short. Hang a colorful object on top of the pram, cradle,or cot. Your baby already likes toys of different shapes. Various reflexes develop by the fourth week after birth. These include sucking, grasping, searching for the nipple and blinking. Baby may gaze at you some time. Respond by nodding, smiling, and talking to the baby. Babies are sensitive to their surroundings. They respond to music or the phone ringing by staring at it quietly. They observe toys keenly, spot colours and become happy at times. These are heart warming moments for the parents. Father's care usually builds a protective and secured feeling in a child which he carries for life and prevents building of any unreal fears in him in later life. So dads should care for and make their babies feel secure. You love to touch your bundle of joy, right? Babies love, enjoy, and need it as well. Skin-to-skin touch helps growth and development of the child. Mom's touch soothes the baby when he is irritated. Start reading to your child. It is never too early. It helps the development of reading skills and language. Babies enjoy pictures in the book. Even if baby can't understand words, they love to hear the parents' voices. During the first few months, they understand little of it, but they are thrilled by listening to you. Have a short reading session with your child daily.Dads can try this trick to make the baby sleep. Carry her around while patting her very gently on back.
Be positive. Here's howAs someone so very rightly said, "We are the sum total of our thoughts". So the more positive thoughts you have, or are capable of thinking, the more positive will be the outcome of your life journey. Here are a few tips to think more positively and empower yourself: Have a daily positive thinking routine. Generally the time when you are just waking up, i.e., the half awake state, is best for you to start feeding positive thoughts about yourself. The mind is more accepting of suggestion at that time. You can just feed your brain with happy and positive thoughts about your situation and what you hope to achieve for yourself and your family. Creative positive visualization is another great method of positive thinking. At a set time, just picture your life in the way you want it to go. This is different from daydreaming. Creative visualization gears you up for action while daydreaming remains just wishful thinking. If you have difficulty in certain areas of your life, say at work or with your relationship, visualize a positive outcome. This will engage your mind in thinking of various action plans to get about that positive result. Positive affirmations are a great way of reminding yourself that all is well. Have patience with yourself as your mind will probably not even believe half the things that you are affirming. That's what affirmations are all about.They are statements that you feed your mind about what you are and what you can achieve. Positive affirmations can help you reprogram your mind to what your heart really desires. Let go. Feel that delicious sense of surrender as you just indulge in mentally letting go of things. As a busy person you probably end up trying to control the outcomes of every situation and feel bad when things don't go the way you expect them to. Remember things can go wrong from time to time. Like you, life is also not perfect, so why expect perfection from others? Learn to let go of that emotional baggage that you are carrying. The weight of the world needn't rest on your shoulders. Collective consciousness is where you should try to tap into. Think of situations where things can go horribly wrong for someone else. Send out a silent prayer for those unfortunate people in this world. Chances are that your prayers just might help some stranger badly in need of a prayer or two. This can only come back to you manifold. Help someone else become a positive person. This can only reaffirm your faith in positive thinking. Positive energy is what everyone naturally seeks and we can for sometime blame our friends or family for being a negative influence on our lives. This line of thinking will get you nowhere. Instead think what's the next best option? Think of how you can convert negative energy or experiences into positive ones. Initially you might meet with resistance, but remember if you are positive then positivity is yours for keeps.
4 super foods to keep you healthy this winterWinter is here. It is time for lazy mornings and blanket hideouts. It is also the time when the markets are lined up with a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, all juicy, healthy and colorful. Discover four such super foods for the cold winter evenings. Citrus fruits: Oranges, sweet lime, lemons; bring them all and have them all. Bright yellow or orange, they are like the bright sunny mornings which you need after a cold night. Rich in vitamin C, antioxidants, flavonoids and several other nutrients, citrus fruits are the perfect measure for your daily dose. Peel it off and chew it up, or slice it off and lick it on, or squeeze it strong and drink it down - choose the way you like. Citrus fruits help in taking care of your cholesterol, as well. Potatoes: Potatoes are the victims of most diet plans. It is loaded with carbohydrates, we should not eat potato, and so on and so forth. Potato is not that bad actually. In fact, its nutritional value may come as a surprise to many. The content of vitamins B6, C and folate is high in potatoes. Potatoes are rich in essential minerals like potassium, zinc and magnesium. The starch content may be significant, but so is the fiber content. They are known to protect against colon cancer. What are you waiting for? Have some potatoes, will you? Make sure there is no guilt. Kidney Beans: Kidney bean is our favorite Indian 'Rajma'. They are a rich source of carbohydrates and proteins, are known to lower the cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of heart disease. They are particularly known for helping to replenish the iron stores of your body. It can be the food of choice even if you have diabetes, as it is almost fat-free and doesn't send a sudden rush of glucose in the blood. When combined with rice, kidney beans make a very healthy meal. So, is it rajma-chawal (kidney beans with rice) for dinner today? Green leaves: Yes, yes, you are bored of reading and listening to the benefits of green leafy vegetables. But, we have to remind you, for the advantages are too many to be ignored. They are the greenest, freshest and leafiest in the winters. Even if you are not a fan, you will feel like picking up a bunch from the grocery store. Spinach (palak), fenugreek (methi), cabbage (gobhi) are the ones that we can commonly find. Others to look for are lettuce, mustard greens, etc. The green leaves are a rich source of a variety of vitamins, mineral, fiber and water content. They are suitable for all ages and can be easily digested. Entertain that potato lying in your kitchen, cook up a dish with the green leafy ones. Alternatively, you could try it in the form of salads, soups, juices, flour fillings, and any other creative ideas that you chefs have.  
12 Surprising pain triggersPain, one word that can send shivers down one's spine and can make one go weak in the knees. Such is the effect of pain, you utter the 1st alphabet of this word everyone dreads and you see how the room full of people will stare at you in horror. Now, pain can be of different types, good pains (No! I am not crazy, there is such a thing as good pain, don't get the gist of it, well the good pain is none other than labor pain) and then there is bad pain. Now, bad pain can be caused by a number of things, say you dropping a paper weight on your foot or eating something super cold (that hurts the teeth so much, you can barely talk) worse, pain from an accidental fall. Now, pains are common with both men as well as women, they both have abdominal pains, headaches, muscle pains, and back pains, but there are some forms of pains which are pretty common with the men folks rather than the women. Let's have a look at what those surprising pain triggers are: Wallet: Yes! You heard that right, according to Dr. Mehmet Oz, wallet is known to be one of the major surprising pain triggers. Having your wallet in your back pocket while driving, can cause chronic back pains, pain in the hips as well as shoulders. Since the wallet is in your back pocket, you sit unevenly, with one butt cheek being lower and one higher due to the wallet. So the solution to this problem is to keep your wallet in the glove box of your car or your bag. Phone: Phone, or any kind of technology gadget, is known to be the other surprising pain trigger. Want to know the pain these little gadgets can inflict? Well, it starts from the neck down. Since you are constantly bending down and hovering over your gadget, it can cause back pain, muscle pain, and headaches. Solution: Use a stand to hold these gadgets, so you wouldn't have to bend down or hover over your gadgets. Another cost effective solution happens to be taking frequent breaks and relieving yourself of the pain. Extra weight: Yes, the other evil, this is the one thing that can cause physical as well as mental anguish. Gaining a few extra kilos or pounds especially in the abdominal section, can cause massive stress to your spine and also cause realignment of your body structure. The only solution to get rid of this pain is to lead an active lifestyle, eat healthy food, and exercise to shed those extra kilos or pounds. Work schedule: If you have a hectic work schedule, chances are you aren't getting any rest, due to which the stress increases. The only way to get rid of this problem is to find a way out of your crazy schedule and have some time to relax and do activities that you like and enjoy, so that the stress that is mounting up on you can be relieved. Perfume: Shocked, aren't you? Well, this is another one of the pain triggers that can wreak havoc on you. Perfumes are known to contain certain fragrances and chemicals that can cause headaches. The only solution is to stop using perfumes that have those chemicals and use a fan at work, so that lingering smell of perfume won't give you a headache. Bad weather: This is another one that causes more pain or mental anguish. Bad weather can cause mood swings and terrible headache. The solution to this problem is taking a painkiller on the day of the bad weather to save you further from the throbbing headache. Bright lights: These can often cause a bad eye soar, not only that, they are also responsible for migraines. The solution is use sunglasses whenever out on the sun. Exercise: This might make you men folks go crazy, but the truth is too much of an exercise can also cause pain. Where, you might ask? Well, how about the muscles or headaches or even back pains for that reason. The solution to this problem is to stop exercising, well not totally, but, you should only exercise for the amount of time prescribed by your trainer or doctor. You don't need to go overboard. Cuts of meats: Yeah, these cuts or cold cuts as they are known, are one of the major reasons of causing headaches and stomach aches. The solution to this problem is to avoid eating raw or frozen foods as much as possible. Skipping Meals: You don't need to be an "Einstein" to figure this one out. Skipping meals, whatsoever the reason maybe, causes the blood sugar levels to drop down to a considerably low level which can cause migraines or severe headaches. The solution to this problem is to eat at regular intervals; this way you won't have headaches and your calories will also remain in check. Smoking: Don't be surprised, smoking has a slew of risks attached to it. Well, to begin with it causes asthma, it causes cancer (ranging from the esophagus to the lung), but it also causes frequent headaches. The only solution to help you get rid of these ailments and pains is to stop smoking. Caffeine: The pain related to caffeine is more mental or psychological than anything else. If you are a person who is addicted to caffeine, chances are you can't live without it. The solution to this problem is slowly and steadily cutting down the amount of caffeine you have. Shocked are you at the kind of things that can cause pain? Well, no need to be! Our body can shock us in ways we can't imagine. So don't be surprised the next time you have any sudden outbursts of pains.
A fine spine - Common disorders of the spineThe spine is made up of small bones called vertebrae that are stacked one upon the other. When viewed from the side, the normal spine has gentle curves to it. Because the spine is a complex structure and happens to be at the center of all our activities, it is subjected to a lot of diseases. A common misconception of low backache is that you should rest. In fact, rest is not recommended at all. Keep up with light non-strenuous activities after the symptoms have subsided. Given here are a few common conditions of the spine: Loss of curvature: The spine, when seen sideways has gentle curves to it. The curves, when lost, can lead to pain and imperfect posture. Kyphosis and Scoliosis are the commonest form of spine curvature abnormalities.Kyphosis is the abnormal and excessive curving of the upper part of the spine. It is commonly called as a hump. It may be present since birth or may develop during the teenage years. The most common symptoms seen are a hump, back pain and muscle stiffness. The pain remains constant and does not worsen over time. If the curvature is too much, then the thoracic cage may get compressed and pressed for space. This may cause cardio-thoracic problems like chest pain, shortness of breath and even death. Compression of spinal nerves may cause loss of bladder and bowel control, loss of sensation and muscle weakness. Kyphosis is treated with physiotherapy, anti-inflammatory drugs and in severe cases, with bracing.Scoliosis is the side-to-side curvature that occurs during growth spurts before puberty. It may also be caused by spinal cord injuries and arthritis. Scoliosis develops gradually. The symptoms seen are usually by people other than the patient, where they may notice a slight slouch while walking. At times it may be seen that clothes that used to fit earlier are now ill-fitting. The pants seem to have shortened on one side. The curvature if mild responds well to physiotherapy. Physiotherapy is also useful as it helps to stretch and strengthen the muscles. This helps in stopping the progression of curvature. Severe cases require bracing and even surgical intervention with rods, hooks, wires and screws to correct the curvature. Sciatica: Sciatica is a condition that arises when the sciatic nerve is pressed upon. This condition arises when a degenerated vertebra presses upon the disc below it, or when there is a disc prolapse.  Abnormally tight piriformis muscle of the buttocks and a tumor in the spine may also cause sciatic pain. The hallmark symptom is the characteristic pain along the leg that starts from the hip and radiates all the way down. The pain is worsened by sitting and tingling numbness also develops. Treatment includes anti-inflammatory medicines and physiotherapy. Spondylolisthesis: When the spine is subjected to the pressures of daily activity, there is a lot of wear and tear that goes on in the vertebrae. This may cause the vertebra to move forward and slide on the vertebra below it. As a result, you may experience a constant backache. Spondylolisthesis can be congenital, it may occur due to trauma to the vertebral column, due to a tumor in the vertebra or due to degenerative changes in the vertebra and cartilage as a result of diseases like arthritis. Low backache is the hallmark of this disease. The pain is typically worse after any exercise that involves the lower back. The motions of low back are restricted and if there is nerve compression then tingling and numbness along the leg may also be seen.Rest and avoiding exertion of back muscles helps reduce the symptoms. Physiotherapy helps in restoring the strength and improving the range of motions. Spinal Stenosis: Degenerative diseases like osteoarthritis cause development of bone spurs in the vertebral column leading to its narrowing. This puts pressure on the nerves and leads to pain and tingling and numbness. Cervical Spondylosis: This condition occurs due to degenerative changes in the vertebrae of the neck region. Commonly seen as neck stiffness with pain that radiates all the way down the arm.  The pain occurs as the nerves get compressed by disc prolapse or bone outgrowths in the vertebra. Treatment includes neck immobilization, cervical traction, medications for pain and physiotherapy. Ways to reduce spine problems and backache are: Quit smoking Adopt a perfect posture Do exercises that will strengthen your core, lower back muscles and abs. Do not ignore or overlook the pains. Consult your doctor at the earliest. Spinal problems are the ones that are frequently overlooked. Ignoring the symptoms may lead to worsening of the problem. See your doctor at the earliest to be safe. The spine is the backbone of our body, in the true sense of the word. It is up to us to keep our spine in good condition as an unhealthy spine will interfere with almost all our body functions.
Female circumcision - Health EffectsThe procedure is carried out by either snipping off a piece of the clitoris or removal of all external genitalia for non-medical reasons. The procedure is carried out outside hospitals and the environment may not be effectively clean and could lead to infection. The painful procedure causes a lot of fear and distress. Some countries have begun to use healthcare personnel to cut the genitals, which reduces pain, bleeding and infection but it does not mean that it is acceptable by the United Nations. Even though the United Nation has termed female circumcision as a violation of human rights, there are millions of girls suffer because it is a requirement for girls so that they remain pure. It is supposed to lower female libido so that they do not indulge in any kind of sexual activity before marriage. Immediate complicationsGirls are likely to suffer severe pain besides the fear that accompanies such a procedure. It can cause them more pain when they try to urinate. If there is severe bleeding, it can lead to haemorrhage. The tissues that form the genitals are severely damaged and healing may not take place immediately and sores can form leading to more pain. Girls can retain urine for fear of the pain. There is always a chance of contracting tetanus or other bacterial infections like sepsis which lead to formation of pus. Besides cutting, procedures can include pricking, piercing, incising, scraping, and cauterizing the genital area. Long term health problemsBesides the immediate problems, female circumcision can lead to long term effects including infertility. The girls can be subjected to urinary tract infections and bladder infections that can recur again and again. Sometimes cysts may also form. There are chances that there could be increased risk of problems during childbirth which could in extreme cases result in the death of the newborn baby. According to UN estimates more than 125 million girls and women are living with female circumcision. Women may be subjected to continuous surgeries especially in those cases where the vagina has been stitched to make it narrow as part of the circumcision process. Once the girls are married, the vagina is unstitched to have sexual intercourse. During childbirth, the vagina may need to be cut again to deliver the child and then stitched up again. This is a continuous problem and women should be spared from this pain and trauma.
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