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Fairness scream: The new male obsession"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?" The words at once evoke images of the evil queen as she strikes a vain pose at the looking glass. However, these days one needs to be more accommodating and make way for a preening gent to put forth the above query. All these days, fairness would be a quality an Indian male would look for in his wife. Just see the Fair & Lovely ads to know what we mean. But today, this very obsession has turned on itself. More and more men are being just as exacting about their own skin color, complexion and tone as their female counterparts. Just take a look at all those TV commercials where celebrity endorsements dangle the bait of fairness creams, lotions and body wash specially designed for teenagers and young men seeking to take them to the promised land of social and sexual success. But before you rush to buy that cream, here's what that fairness is all about Fairness is skin cell deep Fair, ruddy, dark or wheatish is all determined primarily by the melanin content in our skin cells. Some races like the Africans have a high melanin content thereby giving them a dark colour while Europeans are of a lighter skin colour due to low melanin content. So whether you use an expensive fairness cream or go in for beauty treatments at luxurious beauty spas, genetics will have a final say on the matter. How fairness creams work...or do they? Fairness creams contain chemicals which block the production of melanin in the skin and thus enable a lighter skin tone and a fairer complexion. Mostly melanin production in men is more than females, which is why women's fairness creams don't have so much of an effect on men. The cosmetic industry recognized this factor and thus developed products designed for the male skin. However, some of these "men's only" fairness brands are glorified sunblock creams which block the harmful ultra violet radiation of the sun which blackens the skin. The dark side of fair Some of the beauty treatments and fairness creams contain chemicals like hydroquinone, mercury, and even steroids, which could do more harm than good. If you are obsessed about fairness, the least you could do is use a branded product (though that is no guarantee of its efficacy!). First sample it to check of it suits your skin. If a rash breaks out, consult a skin specialist immediately. Finally, it is the health of the skin which is more important than colour. So exercise regularly or use natural skin treatments like orange peels, cucumber patches to enhance your skin tone. Don't give in to peer pressure. The obsession for fairness can lead to low self-esteem and needless rivalry. Cosmetologists and marketers of fairness products are the only ones who will laugh their way to the bank at your cost. So, if you have a darker skin colour you don't have to go in for expensive remedies just because men in your age group find it cool. Self-acceptance is much better remedy than any beauty treatment in the world.  
Make no bones about this - Men have osteoporosis tooOsteoporosis is a condition in which the bones of the body lose their strength gradually and become thin and brittle. This is most commonly seen in women who have attained menopause. The reason being the decrease in the hormonal levels, particularly estrogen. Studies reveal that 20% of sufferers are men. Falling levels of testosterone are one of the causes for men developing brittle bones. Men's bodies convert some amount of testosterone into estrogen, which is very essential in maintaining the bone mass. Genetic deficiency of the enzyme that helps the conversion of testosterone to estrogen also is a major factor for men developing osteoporosis. Calcium and vitamin D play an important role in developing the bone mass and in helping the bone grow. Exercising helps too. When you exercise, the muscle gets pulled and the bone responds by growing. Too much of indoors and sedentary work may make men get the less of all three and it eventually leads to weak bones and osteoporosis. Studies reveal that 20% of sufferers of osteoporosis are men. Certain medications like anti-seizure drugs, drugs for prostate cancer and steroids have side-effects that make it impossible for the body to use vitamin D. Using them for a long time reduces the bone mass density and leaves the bones brittle making them easily prone to fractures. Smoking is a vice that has to be quit for more reasons than one. An analysis of several major studies on the effects of smoking shows that smokers have a 55% higher risk of hip fractures and low bone mineral density than non-smokers. Nicotine has also shown to have a direct effect on bone cells. A long list of medical conditions like diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, and digestive and blood disorders can take a toll on your bones. Long term medications for the same also have side-effects on the bones. How to prevent osteoporosis? Exercise- As young boys, men have usually been exposed to a lot of bone building exercises through sports. This helps in building up on the bone strength and comes in handy in the later years. A brisk walk for 30 minutes 5 times a week and moderate impact exercises help in maintain the bone mass and reduce the thinning of bones. Calcium intake- The daily calcium needs for men is the same as women. Hence, the dietary recommendations remain the same too. 1,000 mg of calcium a day from ages 19 to 50 and 1200 mg of calcium a day if you're over 50.Along with this, make sure you get the required dose of vitamin D too, so that the calcium you eat is absorbed properly. The standard recommended dietary allowance is 400 IU. Some doctors advise to increase the intake to 800 IU. Regular medical checkups will help you to know beforehand about the risk factors and the necessary precautions you will need to take.Osteoporosis in men is as much a reality as in women. However, there are ways to avoid it too. Awareness about the condition and about the ways to prevent it can help keep osteoporosis at bay. Bone mass matters. It could mean the difference between a hip fracture later in life - or keeping an active, high-energy lifestyle.
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
The post-delivery bluesA baby being born is cause for celebration. Especially in a country like India, where the family ties tend to be close, there is a festive atmosphere at home. However, sometimes the mothers may not share the same enthusiasm. This wave of negative emotions in the middle of what is clearly a happy occasion can be confusing for the new mother. Interestingly these feelings are not abnormal, as many new moms face postpartum depression, which is also called baby blues. It is an emotional reaction that begins a few days after delivery and lasts not more than 2 weeks. What are the symptoms of postpartum depression? Feelings of anger or irritability. Lack of interest in the baby. Lack of appetite and sleep disturbance. Crying and sadness. Irritability or hypersensitivity. Feelings of guilt, shame or hopelessness. Loss of interest, joy or pleasure in the things you used to enjoy. Possible thoughts of harming the baby or yourself. What are the causes of postpartum depression? Postpartum depression can occur due to a combination of factors. Hormonal changes: Changes in the level of hormones can leave you feeling tired, sluggish and depressed. Changes in your blood volume, blood pressure, immune system and metabolism can contribute to fatigue and mood swings. Emotional factors: Feeling overwhelmed with the new arrival in the family, and taking care of the baby day and night, may leave you sleep deprived, overexerted, and anxious. New mothers also feel that they look less attractive after pregnancy. You may feel that people around you are concerned with the baby more than you, and that you are being neglected. All these emotional factors may lead to postpartum depression. Other factors: Issues like breast feeding, financial strain, and relationship troubles can also contribute to postpartum depression. How does one deal with postpartum depression? Take complete rest and sleep for sufficient hours Spend quality time with your husband Go for healthy diet Take morning or evening walk for fresh air Try to follow yoga or other exercises Share your feelings with your husband or friends Do not overexert Join some groups for new moms Go for individual therapy or counsellors Remember, postpartum depression is not an incurable problem. It is just a temporary state of mind, which can be overcome if you are sufficiently aware of the problem.                
Teenage troubles for autistic kidsTeenage brings along with it a lot of physical and psychological problems. Your body undergoes a lot of changes, the way the world looks at you is changing and you are not in the position to accept all this. Teenage is one of the most painful periods in one's life.  For an autistic child teenage can be compared to living a nightmare day in and day out. Here is a look at the problems of teenage from an autistic kid's point of view: Social Interaction The ability to interact socially is absent in autistic kids. They are loners who prefer to be left alone and undisturbed in their own worlds. Such a child is a natural target for bullying and ragging by other kids of his age group. At times even if the autistic child wants to come out and make friends, he is not able to do so due to lack of the required skills. Teenage is a period where you need at least one friend to confide in. It can be an extremely difficult phase when you are all alone. Puberty This is the dramatic time in life dilled with hormones and emotions. Your body undergoes lots of changes and you are confused about so many things. You don't know whom to ask or whom to turn to for guidance. Autistic children do not have the maturity to understand this phase. Special issues for autistic teens and sexuality include: Knowledge of physical changes in body. Knowledge of 'good' and 'bad' touch. Ability to communicate about a 'bad' touch or action. Keeping 'safe' distance from others. Handling menstrual cycles. Avoiding 'self-touch' in public. It can be a phase of emotional turmoil for the parents. They need to work closely with their child's special teachers to chalk out a plan that will be best suited to the child in handling puberty successfully. Self-help skills Simple self-help skills like hygiene can be a challenge for teenagers with autism. Improper motor skills, compliance, and sensory problems may interfere with a teen's progress. The proper training of hygiene and grooming can help to add these elements into the daily routine. The right approach is to simplify each task into simple small steps. The positive reward system is a great source of encouragement, as positive motivation always help the teenagers. Higher Functions Autistic teenagers are socially awkward. They lack the power to comprehend and process complex social cues which includes sarcasm, body language, humor, emotional responses and facial expressions. What complicates the problem is that the autistic child lacks empathy and hence may appear rude. Such kids are likely to be teased a lot in school settings.
Pediatric diet formula food vs traditional foodAccording to the World Health Organisation, it is unnecessary to give your baby rice cereals at the age of four months as breast milk can provide all the nourishment a baby needs in the first year. No other solid food is required. Breast milk has all the nutrients like fats, protein, cholesterol, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals which are required in the first year of life. According to most studies,formula foods are not the healthiest option to begin solid foods on. Doctors prefer that babies be given boiled vegetables and mashed fruits like bananas and not formula cereals that contain simple carbohydrates. It is not a good idea to give babies processed and refined foods that are found in all formula foods. Formula foods do have nutrients, but they are not as easy to absorb as nutrients from foods prepared at home. You can also ensure quality in food that is prepared at home. Formula foods cannot imitate the natural taste of foods. Babies like to choose foods according to taste just like the adults and you can give them a wide variety of choices like offering them different fruits and vegetables rather than the similar tasting formula. You will be surprised to know that mother's milk has the taste of the foods she eats and so babies develop taste for a variety and may like the insipid taste of formula. Another reason why formula foods may not work that well is that they contain cereals. However, the enzymes that are required to digest carbohydrates are not fully developed in babies until they are more almost three years old. Cereals and breads are very difficult for babies to digest. Undigested grains can throw off the balance of bacteria in the gut and this is the reason for a lot of digestive issues once they are grown up. Solids should not be introduced until six months of age, as studies now reveal that if solid foods are given early on then it increases the likelihood of allergies, especially of those foods introduced. Babies produce only few enzymes and digestive juices that are mainly required to digest protein and fats. This is because mother's milk has 50 to 60% healthy fat which is a must for the babies' mental and physical growth. Most baby infant nutritionists feel that formula feed is not a complete food. Babies will get deficiency,such as iron, as it is difficult to absorb them from formula foods. The debate continues as many feel that the marketing gimmicks are what selling these foods and not the nutritional value they provide to babies. A note of caution, excessive amount of juices are harmful for babies as these can lead to obesity.
Communicate to strengthen the family tiesA family that talks to each other stays together. Sounds easy? But how often does your family sit down together in the week to spend time with each other? How about breakfasts and dinners? Are you all able to match your meal times or are you catching each other by the end of the coats in the fast paced world that has us spinning us on our heels constantly? As the family members run in and out of the house, like in a hotel, engulfed in their daily routines they slowly start drifting away from each other. Somewhere pushed to the depths of the heart are old connections and affections with the family. Ideal conversations during childhood, encouragements received during tough times, sibling squabbles in adolescence and many a wonderful memories tug at the heart keeping the family from disintegrating altogether. On the contrary, improper communication and bottled feelings singe the heart in such circumstances and lead to the tumbling of the family ecosystem. Understanding how to build effective communication within the family is important as it helps build a stronger, inseparable family. Here are some effective practices: Communicate Frequently:With the limited time that you have with your family, make communication a common and frequent activity.  While traveling in the car, during meal times, replace TV time with talking, talk to your young ones at bedtime. Keep designated time for informal family meetings and encourage conversations among the family members. Keep the cell phones and laptops in the other room when the whole family is sitting together. Communicate Clearly and Directly:Develop an environment where the family members feel okay to communicate clearly and directly. Allow them to express their thoughts and feelings without having to mask and filter them. This is important in a parent-child relationship and sibling-sibling relationship. It also helps build confidence, family intimacy and bonding among the family members. On the other hand, veiled, indirect or vague communication is ineffective and harmful as it increases confusion and communication gaps. Active Listening:Open and free communication flows only when it is received well and the other person's perspective is acknowledged and respected. Active listening is the cornerstone of effective communication. Whether listening to your partner or child, it is necessary to pay attention to not just the words but tell-tale signs in the tone of communication and non-verbal messages too. Nodding of the head, or words of acknowledgment like, "I understand" make the other person feel that what they are saying is valued and received. Asking questions and requesting clarifications for the parts of the message you do not understand is a very important part of active listening. Trust and Honesty:Only when the family members feel that they can trust each other, can they communicate honestly. Trust is the key for strong familial relationships. Trust is propagated through openness and honesty. Understanding the Individual:The way each individual of the family feels and communicates is different. The way you communicate with the different family members should vary accordingly. Especially in case of young children, as their maturity levels are different than the young adults and adults in the family. The unspoken messages:Not everything might be said in words. Learning to read non-verbal communication such as expressions and body language are very important in understanding the entire message being conveyed to you or the parts being held back. Stay Positive:Many complications and problems between family members can be avoided or solved by effective communication. When dealing with undesired or negative situations, it is important that the words and tonality of the communication is positive. Avoid engaging in negative communication like criticism, defensiveness or contempt. Such negative communication patterns discourage communication.Communication is essential to successful family functioning. Taking inventory of how well the family is doing and readjusting course and practices will help improve the family environment and build a happy family that shares openly and honestly with each other.
5 Mistakes yoga beginners makeYoga is a science that has been developed by the ancient Indian sages after a lot of research and study. That is why yoga is difficult to master immediately and one needs a lot of practice to achieve every posture or asana in the perfect manner. So, it is very important to learn the yogic techniques from an expert and one must avoid performing yoga on your own, at least in the initial stages to ensure that you do not suffer from any physical injuries by wrongly straining or stretching your muscles during practice. Yoga can benefit you only if you perform the asanas according to right techniques. Hence, you should try to avoid mistakes right from the beginning. Here are the five most common mistakes people make while performing yoga as beginners: Learning How to Breath Inhalation and exhalation, some say is the most important process that you need to control while performing yoga. While trying to achieve certain asanas, you have to hold your breath for a while and because of this, your muscle fibers are deprived of oxygen for that time. And one needs to do this while holding one's body in that particular posture. With less strength in your muscles, there are chances that you may fall down or get injured. Hence, as a beginner, when you do not have proper control over your breath, it is best to inhale in short breaths, instead of going for the full belly breaths. Just as you slowly inhale, remember to exhale slowly as well, so that the rhythm of the yogic posture is not disturbed. Do not push Yourself Too Hard Most of the contemporary exercises are based on the principle of 'more pain, more gain'. These exercises tell you to stretch more and push harder to get the best results from your workout routine. However, in the case of yoga, the opposite holds true. If you push yourself beyond your limits to attain a particular posture in yoga, you might actually end up straining and injuring your muscles instead. . So, when you are doing yoga come what may, do not push yourself beyond your natural limits. Do Not Compare Some people are naturally gifted with super-flexibility, while the rest of us may not achieve it despite practicing yoga for years together. Each of us has a different type of body and hence, you should not try to compete with those who are highly flexible, especially, if you are trying yoga for the first time or after a long time. You must give your body some time to loosen up its rigidness and become flexible enough. Trying to compare your body's abilities with others and forcefully pushing yourself to perform postures, just to match up, will hurt you eventually. Where to Place the Mat? The best place to put the mat is at the back of your yoga class, especially if you are new to yoga. If you keep your mat at the front, you will become more conscious and will never be able to concentrate on the asana. Instead, if you are at the back, you will always have the front row to follow, just in case you miss the instructions by the instructor. Go easy on the Food! Yoga postures can be intense and if you go into class with a full belly, you will, most definitely find it difficult and uncomfortable to perform the asanas. The key is to eat about an hour before and almost half the size of your usual portion; so that you can perform the asanas comfortably and get the exact fuel necessary for performing them.
Have that chocolate without any guiltYou may find this hard to believe, but chocolate is actually good for your health. Hold on, before you faint. Let's first get to the crux of the matter. Chocolate can actually be good for you if you eat it in moderate quantities. So what about all the bad effects of chocolate that people always talk about? Let's fume them all one by one:  Chocolate causes dental caries: Dear mummy, dental caries (cavities) are caused due to poor oral hygiene and consumption of foods rich in fermentable carbohydrates. When these carbohydrates are left in the tooth for a long time, they release an acid. This may damage the tooth enamel and cause tooth decay. In fact, chocolate contains tannin which actually prevents cavities from forming. So next time, dear mommies, let your child enjoy a small piece of chocolate. You can also join them in the treat.  Chocolate is loaded with fats and sugar:Yes, chocolate comprises of both saturated and unsaturated fats, but a majority of themare in the form of oleic acid and stearic acid. Now, oleic acid (present in olives) and stearic acid are good to lower the blood cholesterol levels. Also, the fat that is found in chocolate is added later, after the chocolate has been processed. So the higher content of cocoa in any bar ensures that there is less fat in the chocolate. So, what about the sugar?Sugar is bad, but the darker variety of chocolate has less sugar compared to the regular sweet chocolate. Dark means higher cocoa content and hence no room for other fillers likes cocoa butter, sugar, nuts, etc.  Chocolate contains no nutrients: On the contrary, it is rich in antioxidants.What is the work of an antioxidant? They scavenge the body of free radicals, which roam in body and cause ageing and diseases. Antioxidant flushes these free radicals out of your body. So, if you want to stay young, bite on a piece of chocolate once a week. Secondly, diets rich in antioxidants have been proven to lower the incidences of heart attacks, strokes, cardiovascular diseases, hyperlipidemia, and arthritis. Hence, I stand by the bar full of antioxidants;it's actually good for you.  Chocolate contains caffeine: Caffeine content in chocolatesis low as compared to your tea, coffee, or cola drinks. Now, having counted the amazing health benefits of chocolate, it is important to tell you which chocolate is healthy for you. The one which is in its purest form - thebittersweet one, which is high in cocoa content, is the clue to your healthy bar. So next time you crave a dessert, indulge in a small piece of chocolate to satisfy your sweet tooth and forget that guilt.  
All you need to know about angioplasty!Why would you need coronary angioplasty? The walls of the arteries are being constantly lined with a fatty material called plaque. This plaque increases in certain conditions like atherosclerosis. When the build-up is too high, the artery gets blocked and the subsequent tissue receives very less or no blood, causing it to die. The plaque at times may be dissolved by medicines but if it is too big, medicines prove ineffective. This is manifested outwardly as a heart attack. This is the time when the doctor would recommend the coronary angioplasty as a treatment for you. How is it done? A thin catheter with a deflated tiny balloon at one end is inserted into the affected artery. Once the exact location of plaque build-up is reached, the balloon is inflated causing the plaque to get pushed against the artery wall and creating free space for the blood to flow. A small mesh called a stent may be placed to hold the artery in place. Some stents are coated with medicines that prevent the scar tissue formation following the angioplasty procedure. The procedure may be done as an emergency or it may be planned. If it is a planned procedure: You will have to get hospitalized and stop eating or drinking 6 to 8 hrs before the procedure. Once the procedure is done, the doctor would prefer you staying in the hospital overnight to watch for any adverse events that may happen. What happens after the surgery? The surgery lasts for 1 to 2 hours and you would be allowed to go home the next day. You will be advised not to undergo vigorous and strenuous exercises and to rest adequately. Most people are fit to return to work a week after the surgery.
Sex during pregnancy? It's possible!One of the questions that arise when a woman gets pregnant is whether it is safe for the couple to have sex. We'll try to answer the most common questions couples tend to ask. Is sex safe during pregnancy? Sex is considered safe if the pregnancy is normal in all stages. However, even if it is safe, it doesn't mean the woman would want to have it. Desire for sex fluctuates during the various stages of pregnancy and sex becomes plain uncomfortable as the body gets larger. What is not safe? Two types of sexual behaviors are not safe during pregnancy. While having oral sex, the man should not blow air into his partners' vagina. It can lead to air blockage of blood vessels by an air bubble, which is called air embolism, and can be lethal for both mother and baby. The pregnant woman should strictly avoid sex with a partner with unknown sexual history or who may have a Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). What are the common risk factors? In case of significant complications with pregnancy, abstinence from sexual intercourse is advised. Common risk factors can be: Threat of miscarriage. One can have pre-term labor or signs indicating the risk of pre-term labor (such as premature contractions). Unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping. Leakage of fluid surrounding the baby, called as amniotic fluid. Placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta (the cord connecting mother to the baby and nourishes the baby) is located low down and covers the opening of the uterus. Cervix incompetency, a condition where cervix is weak and dilates before full term, increasing the risk of miscarriage or premature labor and delivery. Can sex during pregnancy harm the baby? The baby is always protected by the amniotic sac (a bag-like structure that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid) and uterine muscles. A thick mucus plug seals the cervix and protects the baby from infection. The penis does not come into contact with the fetus during sex. So, sex can't harm the baby directly. Can orgasm lead to miscarriage or contractions? The contractions felt by pregnant women during and just after orgasm are totally different from the contractions of labor. Therefore, in cases of normal and low-risk pregnancies, orgasm can't cause contractions and miscarriage, but always check with the doctor and make sure that your pregnancy is in the low-risk category. What are the safe positions for sex during pregnancy? The old standby missionary position for intercourse may not work for you now. Instead, try these options: Spooning: Lie side by side with him behind you. This will not put pressure on your belly, and makes for more shallow penetration. Female on top: There's no pressure on the belly, and the female can control the speed and depth of penetration. Side of the bed: The female lies on the back on the edge of the bed with knees bent and feet on the edge. The male stands facing her. It's like classic missionary, but the male won't be resting his body weight on the pregnant female. However, remember 'normal' is a relative term when it comes to sex during pregnancy. You and your partner need to discuss what feels right for both of you and take advice from the doctor.
Work woes - The sexual problems of busy peopleThat one day Mr. X took half a day off and sneaked into his house to surprise his wife, he found her not tending to the garden, but attending to Mr.XXX, the neighbor! Long after the echoes of the shotgun had died down and way after Mr. XXX hopped off, holding on to dear life with trousers around his ankles, Mr. X was found asking himself loudly - why me? Though this story does bring about some amusement, it really isn't amusing to know a whole lot of relationships just going bust all because of the sex word and deed. Couples today are busier than ever, and after the initial euphoria of the relationship wears off; work, career advancements, salary packages get more precedence. Relationships start going off into the realm of a comfort zone where physical touch, intimacy, and sex take a back seat as most people think - "there will be a lot of time for that later." However, time and tide wait for no one- not even bright career enthusiasts, who put their careers over their relationships, only to wake up one day to see their love gone wrong! This is not to say that careers and hefty pay packages and promotions are not important. After all, we can rightly hear one say, "One cannot survive by love and fresh air alone." However, just as it is compulsory to swipe your card at the office door, couples have to ensure that they save some swiping for the bedroom as well. Easier said than done? Perhaps! Here are some of the typical problems that plague the love life of busy people : We have a relationship, why do we need sex? That may be just one partner's opinion! A man who thinks for two and loves for two is going to be in for a nasty surprise at some point. Sure, work pressure will always be there and so will conference calls and decision making. So, if you think your partner is going to live by the memories of your last intimate encounter, you need to get a reality check. Sure, your partner will probably understand that you are busy and maybe the fault is not entirely yours- maybe she is busy too! Sooner or later, you will have to figure out whether you are just flat mates or a real couple. And a real couple does things together- laughs, meets, makes love, fights, makes up, and all that! A good sex life only reinforces the emotional bond between couples and takes the relationship to another level. Going purely by sexual intercourse, then yes, sexual intercourse is, of course, healthy and has a lot of physiological benefits to offer like reduction of pain and feel-good endorphins. Some of us might just take only that bit and have sex with the first available person in sight! The point is sex within the framework of a relationship, can give better results and can foster strong ties, but the guilt from cheating on your partner can also add another reason for stress, which considering your already busy life, could well be the final straw that broke the camel's back. We do have an annual vacation, don't we? Sure! Timeshare holidays and stock options can make the best of vacation places easily accessible. So, the deal is - take your annual vacation abroad and stop groaning! What if you were paid just once a year or were allowed to eat just once a week? Would make you feel really great, right? Relationships need more than your annual vacation. Even a regular walk in the morning together is a better idea than a vacation on a cruise liner. In our material aspirations, we forget that good things in life are completely free. If only you weren't so brand conscious, you would've seen them right away. So, don't save all that sex up for the annual vacation; a weekend getaway will, in fact, add more spunk to your life. Thinking of you! Even the thought that one is in someone's thoughts can be so warm and bring out the best in a person. People who have a partner waving them off when they set off to work are generally happy and more productive at the workplace and have fewer disagreements or upsets. So, imagine the good luck charm being quadrupled by lovemaking! Call it stolen moments of passion. Take a chance... you might just be a little late for work, but then this is important business too! Be spontaneous and watch your partner respond to your sense of urgency. If that's not possible, then at least send a "thinking of you" message, or if you are more creative, you can personalize it with your brand of naughtiness and raunchiness. Rest assured, this will help you actually find the time to make love on a regular basis and your girl might even find a new you and actually miss you when you are gone. Shift workers: Don't shift the blame...shift the time to make love. The tragedy of these times is when both people are out working and both are extremely ambitious and both work different shifts. He is dead tired when she is all up and chirpy. It is night for one, daytime for the other! Wow, what a predicament to be in! One weary soul bone tired and hardly in the mood for love making! Who says you have to go all the way every day. Even touch therapy can be extremely enchanting, healing, invigorating, and can eventually lead to sex. Imagine a hand that caresses your brow as you crib about your boss's bitchiness or the conference that you have been given single handedly to handle? A kiss exchanged at the right time can sometimes do way with the sex part if you are too tired for it. Important thing is to wake up in your lover's arms rather than wake up too late to the fact that you have no love life. This can be a beautiful experience and you can exchange places, giving your partner a sensual body massage when she comes back from her shift. Making love, for sure, is important, but what is more important is keeping the love alive for the making of it!
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