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What causes male balding?They say there are 3 types of men: the ones that go bald at the top are thinkers, the ones who go bald at the back are lovers, and the ones who grow bald at both places... only think they are lovers. If pregnancy and menstruation are a female's burden, then baldness is a great inconvenience to men. Some men lose their hair in their youth and thus lose their confidence along with their hair. So what is with baldness and men? Men start having a receding hairline by the time they hit 30, though it could begin in their 20s as well. The most common type of baldness is the mid-frontal type resembling a horseshoe. Earlier it was thought that baldness is caused only by genetic factors, but apparently emotions, lifestyle and diseases also contribute largely to hair loss and baldness. This hair loss can be temporary or permanent. Some medications like anticoagulants, antidepressants, antifungal medicines, chemotherapy etc can cause baldness. Certain diseases like thyroid disease, Crohn's disease, lupus can cause hair loss and baldness. Poor nutrition is an important factor in hair loss. Vitamin and mineral deficiencies along with poor nutrition can pave the path sooner than most other things. Then there are some conditions like Alopecia Areata which cause baldness in patches -- on the head or beard. It is temporary and the hair grow back in about 6 months to 1 year. Corticosteroid injections are used to treat the condition. Air and water pollutants, environmental toxins, conventional styling products have the potential to build up on the scalp. These affect hair cuticle, cause dryness, and weaken the hair causing them to easily break off before their natural lifecycle has ended. If you notice your hairline receding more than usual, then check if you are getting enough nutrition. Exercises like the headstand and handstand send the blood rushing to the scalp and can help with hair growth. Massaging the head with warm oil helps to increase blood circulation as well. Use a shampoo that suits your hair along with a conditioner. Oil your hair overnight at least thrice a week. Keep yourself well hydrated and try vitamin C which can help arrest hair fall. Use a clean comb and ensure that you sun your scalp, as vitamin D is an essential tonic for skin, bones, teeth and even hair.    
Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Smell like roses, without the thornsYou bathe regularly and use the best possible deodorants, underarm anti-perspirants, panty perfume but the bad odour just doesn't go away. Pat yourself dry Very often you have a leisurely bath with scented bubbles and what not but when it comes to drying your body thoroughly, well you just pat yourself quickly, for you are in a hurry. The moisture on your body then attracts bacteria with fungi and they cause that embarrassing mouldy kind of stench on your body. So make sure you dab yourself thoroughly dry all over your body. Especially in places like the lower back where it is difficult to reach without some really flexible shoulder joints. Use the archer's swipe (The towel extended between the right hand over the head with  the left hand extended back to form the bottom grip, which looks like an archer reaching for a bow from the quiver). In case you are endowed with love handles and folds of fat then be generous with the patting, as those are the parts most susceptible to host bacteria. Change clothes often If you wear the same set of clothes and lingerie then you are surely going to have an odour which is lingering. So for those ladies who occasionly wear the same set of clothes without washing, the sweat is going to accumulate in there and raise a stink. Remember the Celine Dion song? It's a new day, a new start! Menstruation + Stress = Bad smell There is nothing that you can really do about your periods. Instead, try and be a little more extra careful during those 4 days. You can have an extra jab at the deo bottle or perfume lotion. However stress, nervousness and fear also leave chemical traces which come out along with the sweat. This adds to the bad odour. Humble pie for dessert? What you eat also affects the way you smell. Go easy on the garlic, onion rings and fish for they can make you smell slightly worse than an open sewer. Always rinse your mouth after eating and use a good minty mouthwash if at all you choose to pepper your meal with onion and garlic to ward offthe evil eye. You can add conditions like diabetes to cause a fruity kind of odour. Well in that case make sure you exercise regularly so that the skin sweats out the toxins. In case you are the extra-sweaty types then use medicated soaps or ensure you use steam baths regularly to keep your skin pores open.
Just how sporty is your sports bra?Very few women in the world really know the right size of their bra and end up using wrong size bra all their life. A study shows that all over the world only 2 women out of 10 wear the right sized bra due to which they can never get the look they want. Since there is lot of difference in sports bra of different brands, you need time and patience to find out the most suitable one for you. You should keep on measuring yourself every year, and especially if you have added weight or lost weight. It is also necessary to check your bra-size after pregnancy.  On an average, the size of sports bra range from A to H and most women find a comfortable fit among either of this size. A good sports bra should always offer three things- support, comfort and breathability to the breasts. Choosing a Bra with a Good Fit Most of the elite bra shops offer good range of different sports bra. But it is important to know which one suits you or is of your size. A well fitting bra gives you the liberty to exercise or move with confidence and comfort. One thing you should keep in mind while purchasing a sports bra is your life style and preferences. Some like it padded, some like it embroidered, while some may like it simple. So apart from correct measurements, your style should be given preference while buying a sports bra. Moreover, you also should take into consideration the dress you are wearing on this bra. Here are some tips that can help you in selecting the right bra when you will go to the lingerie shop. Support   A good bra should offer your breast complete support, irrespective of whether they are small, medium or even big. If you have breasts ranging in between A to C cup, you should choose a compression bra that offers more comfort and support. If you are looking for a bra that also encapsulates and gives proper shape to your breasts then you should choose a bra accordingly. These bras offer more support than the compression bra. For getting both comfort and support, you can choose a compression bra that also encapsulates your breasts properly. Comfort You should feel comfortable when you wear a bra. It should stay in place and should not chafe. If possible, try one of the samples in the changing room and check whether the straps dig into your shoulders or whether the bands provide comfortable support to the breasts. The bra should hold the breasts comfortably without being restrictive. A good bra is one that holds your breasts in place even when you are performing all the jumping, running and swinging acts. Breathability The fabric of the sports bra should be good enough to wick away the sweat from the skin so that it dries quickly and allows the skin to breathe properly. The bra should allow excess heat and perspiration to pass through the fabric keeping you dry and cool during summer &  warm and dry during winter.  
Get the couch potato out to playKids in the modern day are increasingly getting lazier and unfit. Watching TV, playing games on consoles and smartphones, and spending time on social networks is eating into time which would otherwise be spent playing outdoors.The lack of exercise comes with a host of problems, which can affect kids in childhood or later on in life. Therefore, parents must encourage kids to exercise by being an example. However, do keep in mind that there is nothing that will bore a kid than treadmills or lifting weights. Playing sports is often the better way to go. Give aerobics a try Aerobic exercises can help kids to stay fit and also can be fun at the same time. The common perception is that aerobics involve dancing a set pattern. However, aerobics is any exercise that increases your oxygen intake. Outdoor activities can include basketball, cycling, soccer, swimming, tennis, walking or running Along with aerobics, children should also do stretching exercises, which help in improving flexibility, allowing muscles and joints to bend and move easily through their full range of motion. Getting your kids excited It is important, however, to communicate with your child the need to exercise. You could encourage them to take part in outdoor games at school as well as in the locality where you stay. You should regulate the number of hours your kid can spend in front of the TV or PC. This way she will look for means to play outside the house. You can also play with them yourself. It will be fun for the both of you, as well as helps you bond with your child. Exercising for at least an hour a day is ideal, and it broken down into chunks of 15 minutes at a time.  
Crossing the smoke screenWhy should someone quit smoking? Smoking is probably the worst sedentary lifestyle habit that we pick up. Quitting smoking changes everything right from the way you feel, taste and smell, your breath smells better and even your cough goes away. Quitting smoking cuts down the risk of cancer, stroke, neuropathy, heart disease and breathing disorders like bronchitis, pneumonia, and emphysema. Not just that, quitting saves money too... just one of the many financial rewards of quitting. Quit Smoking Tips Write down the reasons you want to quit for, and how it will benefit you: for e.g. live longer, feel better, family safety, save money, smell better, find a soul mate easily, etc. You know what's bad about smoking and you know what you'll get by quitting. Read the list daily. Ask for help from your family and friends. Help and support of family and friends without being judgmental helps a lot. You need their support when you become irritable and even irrational while you withdraw from your smoking habit. Set a Deadline. Set a quit date when you will extinguish forever. Prepare a plan. Talk with doctor and take his support and guidance. Exercise. Exercise helps relieve stress and recovers body from damage caused due to cigarettes. Start slow and increase up to 30 to 40 minutes. Begin to breathe. Daily deep breathing for 5-15 minutes will help cleanse the respiratory system and provide more oxygen repairing the damage caused to respiratory system and help cope with withdrawal symptoms. Do not quit abruptly. Cut down on cigarettes gradually. Plan everything about number of cigarettes you will smoke each day till the quit date, reduce the number each day. Buy single cigarette at a time. This helps a great deal to limit smoking. Change brands. This way you won't enjoy smoking as much. Undertake social commitment. Keep your packet of cigarettes with someone else, so that you have to ask for them each time you want to smoke. This way you'll feel guilty about asking and hence smoking; hence lowering the number of times you smoke. Find a mate who is trying to quit. This will boost the morale and keep up the positivity. Try finding a quitting chat room. Learn what triggers desire to smoke - like stress, the end of a meal, arrival at work, entering a bar, etc. Avoid these triggers or if that's impossible, plan alternative ways to deal with the triggers. Now, after you have read this, sit down and write your own list suitable to your personality and way of doing things and create your own plan for quitting.  
What is megalomania?Bertrand Russell's quote on megalomania perfectly describes the condition:"The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history." Megalomania is a delusional bipolar disorder. The sufferer believes he is an all-powerful person and that he is superior to all other people. Megalomania comes from the Greek words megalo which means large or great and mania which means madness. It is a psychopathological disorder that has delusional fantasies of power, exaggerated self esteem and a sense of omnipotence. The sufferer may believe he is God or some famous athlete. Although megalomania is a term used for power hungry people, it is clinically described under the mental disorder of narcissism. Narcissism is self-love. Though self-love is a healthy concept, narcissism is a pathological state where one loves oneself to the extent that he starts despising others. Megalomania is caused by certain phobias and mental conditions associated with emotions and personality. In everyday life, megalomania can be a person's mental way of reacting to frustration, abandonment or some serious loss. In the social world, the term megalomaniac is often synonymous with control freaks, power-drunk army generals, executives and politicians. The treatment of megalomania includes medications. The challenge here is that the person may not believe he has anything wrong with him. He, in fact, believes that he is so great that no harm can come to him, so talking him into getting himself treated is very difficult. Adolf Hitler, the German dictator, was a power-hungry control freak. He believed that he was the supreme commander and that his race was the only race suited to inhabit earth. All other races, especially Jews, were inferior and had to be wiped off the face of the earth. Adolf Hitler was megalomaniac.
Beating the weight loss plateauThere comes a stage when you stop losing any weight in spite of strict exercise and diet regimen. This is called as weight loss plateau. When calorie intake is reduced along with exercise, the energy required is obtained from stored fat which eventually leads to weight loss. This rate of weight loss slows down and eventually stops once body reaches its set point of metabolism. This set point varies from person to person. So what can you do next? Here are some easy ways to get the weighing scale budging: Modify diet pattern: Metabolism slows down with lowering calorie intake. To reset metabolism, you need to have an adequate amount of calories. This can be done by including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and proteins in diet. More energy is needed to burn proteins than carbohydrates or fats. Eat within half an hour or hour after exercising. Add proteins and carbohydrates to diet. Sip water: Increase total water intake in a day. Drink water before, during and after exercise and throughout the day. Change the workout: Change the exercises you do daily. Muscles get accustomed to a routine workout. Switching exercises and continually challenging helps burn more fat and build lean tissue. Change the type and time or duration of exercise. Try cycling instead of running if you have been doing it for long. Running, swimming, dancing, and Pilates too are good options. Skipping and brisk walking help in burning calories too and break the plateau. In the gym, change the exercise or number of repetitions. If you have been working on machines for long, try weight training or floor exercises. Take rest: Adequate rest is essential for the body to rejuvenate. Muscles, tendons, and ligaments get slight internal and external injuries which can be healed by rest. Proper rest helps repair and regenerate the tissue and makes them strong. Make these changes and get the needle on that weighing scale to budge.
Sleep tight at every good night!A good night's sleep! Oh, what would some of us give for that luxury! Sure, you can blame it on the fast paced world and the things you have to do to keep the competition off your turf, and millions of other reasons to be sleep deprived. Yes, sleeping soundly and regularly is well within our control. Maybe it has eluded you so far and you are caught in a vicious circle of staring at the ceiling for hours on end; so read on to see what simple things you can do to gently drift off in to the arms of nature's greatest restorative- beauty sleep. Do's and don'ts for beauty sleep Fix a regular bed time, so that your brain will adjust to this by sending sleep signals to the body. If your bedtime is completely at the mercy of your activities then even as fatigue sets in the body will refuse to obey. So, even as your body is screaming for rest, the mind does otherwise. This is where good old discipline comes in to play. Take in to consideration the activities which are absolutely necessary to do and note the frequency with which they are likely to interfere with your bedtime before setting a realistic bed time. Initially the mind will refuse to obey, and you are most likely to get up, after tossing and turning in bed, to switch on the computer or whatever it is that you do when you cheat your bedtime. Rest assured, in a couple of days the brain will get used to this sleep routine and prepare you for shut down. Sleeping well also largely depends on how stress free you are. If the mind is in a state of constant excitement or anxiety, sleep will elude you. So when you lie down to sleep you need to fade out and blank everything out- joy and sorrow; expectations and ambitions, all of these out for later access! Tell yourself that tomorrow is another day and what you need today, is a state of neutrality! That's what most Indian philosophers would want you to do anyway. A good eight hours of sleep may depend largely on our minds but external factors can matter too. Sleep comes easily when your mattress is comfortable and not too soft or too hard. Use a pillow that won't give you neck pain, as any discomfort in the neck is likely to throw sleep off gear. Wearing clean night clothes can give you better quality of sleep. That goes for the bed spread as well.  Try this for yourself. Tight and uncomfortable night clothing is not recommended as this will only make you wriggle about for comfort. A cozy blanket and some clean nightclothes make great bedtime mates. Some people have a nightcap to help them sleep better while others still, drink themselves to sleep. Alcohol in large doses can only numb but does not help you sleep and you will only find yourself waking up frequently. Sleeping pills can be habit forming and might have serious side effects in the long run. So try simple remedies like a glass of warm milk or hot chocolate before bedtime to help you sleep better. Avoid stimulants like coffee, tea or nicotine before bedtime as that can keep your nerves all hyper thus making sleep quite difficult to come by. Computers and television are also largely responsible for us staying up late and disrupting our sleep patterns. We often find ourselves mechanically flipping channels or browsing without any real need for it. Try and go offline before bedtime, especially if you want to be able to schedule your sleep time. Television or movies can excite the brain and then you will find it difficult to fall asleep. So about an hour before bedtime switch off the telly or computer and just sit quietly and do some deep breathing exercises. Just sit cross legged for about ten minutes and relax your body. You are now ready for a deep slumber.
12 Surprising pain triggersPain, one word that can send shivers down one's spine and can make one go weak in the knees. Such is the effect of pain, you utter the 1st alphabet of this word everyone dreads and you see how the room full of people will stare at you in horror. Now, pain can be of different types, good pains (No! I am not crazy, there is such a thing as good pain, don't get the gist of it, well the good pain is none other than labor pain) and then there is bad pain. Now, bad pain can be caused by a number of things, say you dropping a paper weight on your foot or eating something super cold (that hurts the teeth so much, you can barely talk) worse, pain from an accidental fall. Now, pains are common with both men as well as women, they both have abdominal pains, headaches, muscle pains, and back pains, but there are some forms of pains which are pretty common with the men folks rather than the women. Let's have a look at what those surprising pain triggers are: Wallet: Yes! You heard that right, according to Dr. Mehmet Oz, wallet is known to be one of the major surprising pain triggers. Having your wallet in your back pocket while driving, can cause chronic back pains, pain in the hips as well as shoulders. Since the wallet is in your back pocket, you sit unevenly, with one butt cheek being lower and one higher due to the wallet. So the solution to this problem is to keep your wallet in the glove box of your car or your bag. Phone: Phone, or any kind of technology gadget, is known to be the other surprising pain trigger. Want to know the pain these little gadgets can inflict? Well, it starts from the neck down. Since you are constantly bending down and hovering over your gadget, it can cause back pain, muscle pain, and headaches. Solution: Use a stand to hold these gadgets, so you wouldn't have to bend down or hover over your gadgets. Another cost effective solution happens to be taking frequent breaks and relieving yourself of the pain. Extra weight: Yes, the other evil, this is the one thing that can cause physical as well as mental anguish. Gaining a few extra kilos or pounds especially in the abdominal section, can cause massive stress to your spine and also cause realignment of your body structure. The only solution to get rid of this pain is to lead an active lifestyle, eat healthy food, and exercise to shed those extra kilos or pounds. Work schedule: If you have a hectic work schedule, chances are you aren't getting any rest, due to which the stress increases. The only way to get rid of this problem is to find a way out of your crazy schedule and have some time to relax and do activities that you like and enjoy, so that the stress that is mounting up on you can be relieved. Perfume: Shocked, aren't you? Well, this is another one of the pain triggers that can wreak havoc on you. Perfumes are known to contain certain fragrances and chemicals that can cause headaches. The only solution is to stop using perfumes that have those chemicals and use a fan at work, so that lingering smell of perfume won't give you a headache. Bad weather: This is another one that causes more pain or mental anguish. Bad weather can cause mood swings and terrible headache. The solution to this problem is taking a painkiller on the day of the bad weather to save you further from the throbbing headache. Bright lights: These can often cause a bad eye soar, not only that, they are also responsible for migraines. The solution is use sunglasses whenever out on the sun. Exercise: This might make you men folks go crazy, but the truth is too much of an exercise can also cause pain. Where, you might ask? Well, how about the muscles or headaches or even back pains for that reason. The solution to this problem is to stop exercising, well not totally, but, you should only exercise for the amount of time prescribed by your trainer or doctor. You don't need to go overboard. Cuts of meats: Yeah, these cuts or cold cuts as they are known, are one of the major reasons of causing headaches and stomach aches. The solution to this problem is to avoid eating raw or frozen foods as much as possible. Skipping Meals: You don't need to be an "Einstein" to figure this one out. Skipping meals, whatsoever the reason maybe, causes the blood sugar levels to drop down to a considerably low level which can cause migraines or severe headaches. The solution to this problem is to eat at regular intervals; this way you won't have headaches and your calories will also remain in check. Smoking: Don't be surprised, smoking has a slew of risks attached to it. Well, to begin with it causes asthma, it causes cancer (ranging from the esophagus to the lung), but it also causes frequent headaches. The only solution to help you get rid of these ailments and pains is to stop smoking. Caffeine: The pain related to caffeine is more mental or psychological than anything else. If you are a person who is addicted to caffeine, chances are you can't live without it. The solution to this problem is slowly and steadily cutting down the amount of caffeine you have. Shocked are you at the kind of things that can cause pain? Well, no need to be! Our body can shock us in ways we can't imagine. So don't be surprised the next time you have any sudden outbursts of pains.
Bile block - Understanding gallbladder problemsRavi was a young intern working the night shifts in a government hospital when he was asked to examine a patient who had just been brought in. The patient was a 45-year-old, a fat man, who was complaining of pain in the right side of the abdomen along with nausea and vomiting. On inquiry it was revealed that he had eaten a very heavy fat-laden dinner. Remembering what his surgery professor had taught him about cholelithiaisis, Ravi immediately guessed what the diagnosis could be. He, however, sent the patient for a blood test and an abdominal scan. The reports confirmed Ravi’s suspicions- cholelithiasis, gallstones. The gallbladder is a tiny pear shaped organ that lies just below the liver. It is responsible for storing the bile that is produced by the liver for digesting food. It ensures the smooth outflow of the bile from the bile ducts. When the bile components aggregate in the gallbladder, they build up to form gallstones, similar to kidney stones. The gallstones are usually small enough to pass on to the intestines and be eliminated without causing too much trouble. At times, these stones may be big enough to block the outflow of the bile and give rise to a variety of symptoms depending on the size of the stone and severity of the block. The symptoms include -  Intermittent colic. A bloated sensation with constant nausea. Inability to tolerate fats. Vomiting.  Fever with chills if the stone becomes infected. Gall stones though found in both sexes, is more common in females. The risk factors for developing gallstones include - Diabetes. Organ transplant. Diseases like hemolytic anemia, sickle cell anemia. Liver cirrhosis. Failure of the gallbladder to empty properly, e.g., during pregnancy. Rapid weight and nutrition loss due to any reason. Gallstones are confirmed by a blood test to check the liver function and by an abdominal scan. Medications to dissolve the stones, and surgery in case of large stones that do not dissolve with medications, are the treatment options.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
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