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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Making the 30 the new 20 - Some healthy tips for men over 3030s for most men is the age of making money, a firm career and preparing a good and luxurious retirement plan. But in this race of minting money, getting a house, buying a new car, don't you feel you lose the verve to be young in body, health and spirit? Result, you are in the lap of one or the other lifestyle diseases. Well guys slow down and ponder a bit.Your age can be on your side when you try to maintain it not when you extract all energy and fill it with monotony and laziness. 30s can turn into new 20s for each one of you but that can't happen by sitting in front of the TV set watching your favourite game and gulping down a beer. So you need to put your mind and heart together and try to work out options to keep your mental and physical health optimized. Let's discuss few such ways which can be the key to your health post your 30s. Be a part of the maddening crowd Post 30s men have a habit of engaging themselves totally into their work, that very little time remains to socialize and meet people. Studies prove that people who are part of a big social group have fewer chances of heart diseases as they are supposed to be happier and stress-free compared to their counterparts who spend their time in their office files and TV. Be healthy, wealthy and always wise with exercise Hitting the gym would be a trend amongst teens and those in twenties, but you need it the most at 30 as this is the age staying fit is essential to keep all diseases away. If you are not a gym fan then you can try any of the other methods of exercise: Morning walks Joggings Yoga Aerobics Options can be innumerable but you need to choose what suits you and your lifestyle best. Avoid the idiot box Do you spend your evenings in front of the television set? Well that is definitely one of the unhealthy habits you are nurturing then. Television sets make you dependent, which mean very few body movements. The only exercise you get is when you reach for the popcorn or when you fiddle with the remote for the mute button in-between commercial breaks. Also it takes up your time which is meant to be spent with family and friends. So next time you get home from office, try and grab a game with your kid or a nice chat with your wife or walk down the road to your friend's house and go out for some fresh air instead. Say NO to the puff A very common habit which catches hold among men especially since their teenage is smoking. Men who have been smoking since their teens don't feel a need to change their ways and it just seems to get worse. Now in your middle-age you don't smoke for effect but rather as a refuge from all tensions and tribulations or sheer force of habit. You are aware that smoking and nicotine dependence whether through smoking to chewing tobacco can put you at risk of lung cancer, hypertension, heart valve blockages and much worse? Being a bit more sober than you were in your 20s is essential here. Stop the smoke and try to look into the clear air around you. Less alcohol, more life Alcohol not only hits your liver and takes you away from the real pleasures of your life but also makes you prone to all the diseases which starts showing its symptoms in the middle-age only. Increase in anxiety, blood pressure, high cholesterol or other cardiovascular diseases come into forefront more with age. Does that mean you should stop this within a day or two? No, you need to limit the number to one or two pegs maximum a day and you will be fit for a healthy life. Go fishing Now this does not mean you need to hunt for your own food or dangle the bait or go hungry. Just make fish a part of your daily diet. Fish or sea food after stepping in your 30s makes you able-bodied and increases immunity to fight diseases. The necessary proteins, vitamins, essential oils, zinc, selenium etc. can be had through just one source-fish! Bone mania Calcium deficiency a common disease in women in their 30s causes joints pain primarily, now this should never be neglected by men as well because with changing lifestyle, men also are falling prey to it. Declining calcium concentration in your bones post 30s makes them prone to more fractures and bone damages. The right balance between physiotherapy and food habits makes you more agile and keeps the joints squeaky clean! More sunshine Research prove that spending 15-20 min in the sun everyday helps one to keep away from diseases like osteoporosis, back pains, arthritis etc. Requirement for Vitamin D is fulfilled and all readily bodily deficiencies get mitigated. Thus step out in the sun for some time and experience the results yourself. Avoid the junk Pot bellies are a common sight among men as they hit their 30s. You don't have to live with it! Obesity is the starting point of most diseases. Thus what you require is just focus on a healthy diet plan. The burgers and pizzas which might be irresistible to you in your teens should be only looked at dispassionately without bringing your mouth a mile near them. Extra cheese and butter are now not to be served on your platter. A bit hard-hitting but to stay healthy needs to be done without any second thought. Thus the above mentioned pointers can be followed by guys at any age but should be followed rigorously when you hit 30! So, live your life healthiest and to the fullest!  
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
Just how sporty is your sports bra?Very few women in the world really know the right size of their bra and end up using wrong size bra all their life. A study shows that all over the world only 2 women out of 10 wear the right sized bra due to which they can never get the look they want. Since there is lot of difference in sports bra of different brands, you need time and patience to find out the most suitable one for you. You should keep on measuring yourself every year, and especially if you have added weight or lost weight. It is also necessary to check your bra-size after pregnancy.  On an average, the size of sports bra range from A to H and most women find a comfortable fit among either of this size. A good sports bra should always offer three things- support, comfort and breathability to the breasts. Choosing a Bra with a Good Fit Most of the elite bra shops offer good range of different sports bra. But it is important to know which one suits you or is of your size. A well fitting bra gives you the liberty to exercise or move with confidence and comfort. One thing you should keep in mind while purchasing a sports bra is your life style and preferences. Some like it padded, some like it embroidered, while some may like it simple. So apart from correct measurements, your style should be given preference while buying a sports bra. Moreover, you also should take into consideration the dress you are wearing on this bra. Here are some tips that can help you in selecting the right bra when you will go to the lingerie shop. Support   A good bra should offer your breast complete support, irrespective of whether they are small, medium or even big. If you have breasts ranging in between A to C cup, you should choose a compression bra that offers more comfort and support. If you are looking for a bra that also encapsulates and gives proper shape to your breasts then you should choose a bra accordingly. These bras offer more support than the compression bra. For getting both comfort and support, you can choose a compression bra that also encapsulates your breasts properly. Comfort You should feel comfortable when you wear a bra. It should stay in place and should not chafe. If possible, try one of the samples in the changing room and check whether the straps dig into your shoulders or whether the bands provide comfortable support to the breasts. The bra should hold the breasts comfortably without being restrictive. A good bra is one that holds your breasts in place even when you are performing all the jumping, running and swinging acts. Breathability The fabric of the sports bra should be good enough to wick away the sweat from the skin so that it dries quickly and allows the skin to breathe properly. The bra should allow excess heat and perspiration to pass through the fabric keeping you dry and cool during summer &  warm and dry during winter.  
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Is circumcision a healthy ritual?Religious rituals and practices have been carried out since ancient times. Circumcision is a religious ritual that involves surgical removal of the prepuce of the human penis. Prepuce is the foreskin of the penis and during the procedure; the person performing the ritual opens, inspects and separates it from the glans. The process is painful and hence local or topical anesthesia is used to reduce physiological stress and pain. Circumcision is performed for religious as well as personal reasons and many times recommended medically for prophylactic or therapeutic reasons as well. Today's medical science makes use of this treatment for treating chronic urinary tract infections, refractory balanoposthitis and pathological phimosis. Circumcision is performed as ritual in many parts of the world. However, it is also recommended medically as protection against HIV infection. Circumcision-Is it Legal and Ethical? In the world over, the ritual or practice of circumcision is carried out on all types of people from neonatal stage to adulthood. While no significant risks have been noticed due to the practice of this ritual, rather some modest health benefits have come to the fore. The World Health Organization has recommended circumcision for male infants in parts of Africa where the children are more vulnerable to urinary tract infections. However, no other medical organization in the world has supported or banned the procedure. Over past few years, legal and ethical questions have been making rounds and many believe that consent should be taken before carrying out neonatal circumcision. HIV and Circumcision Benefits A Cochrane meta-analysis conducted in 2009 on sexually active African men have revealed that the ritual of circumcision reduces the risk rate of HIV infection by 38 to 66 percent among heterosexual men in a period of 24 months. That is why WHO has recommended circumcision in sub-Saharan African areas having high rates of HIV infection as a part of the comprehensive HIV program. Moreover, this process is more cost-effective as compared to other treatments and preventive measures recommended for HIV. Circumcision reduces the risk rate of HSV-2 infections and oncogenic HPV prevalence along with the risk of penile cancer and UTIs. Until now, there have been no concluding reports on the protective effects circumcision offers against other types of sexually transmitted infections. Circumcision is also recommended medically to children suffering from pathological phimosis and refractory balanoposthitis. Contraindications The literature worldwide review conducted in 2010 reveals that around 1.5 percent of the newborns face median complication when the process of circumcision is performed by trained medical providers. Only 6 percent children face severe complications with the common complications being infection, bleeding or removal of too little or too much of foreskin. However, the process does not cause any negative impact on the sexual functioning of an individual. Contraindications due to circumcision are also cited in infants having genital structure abnormalities right from the birth such as misplaced urethral opening, ambiguous genitalia or chordae. In such cases, the foreskin may require reconstruction through surgery.  It is contraindicated in premature babies and clinically unstable infants and it should also be avoided in children with family history of hemophilia (bleeding disorders). In such patients, it is important that the blood should be checked for its coagulation properties before attempting the procedure.
Algophobia: The fear of painAlgophobia is the fear of pain:  an abnormal and consistent feeling that is far beyond what would be considered normal. The term is derived from the Greek words, Algos meaning pain and Phobos meaning fear. Our bodies are designed in a way that when there is a painful stimulus it reacts. How the body reacts to the pain is an individualistic phenomenon. Some people have a very low threshold for pain, and even the slightest pain evokes a huge response in them. Where as others can withstand a good amount of physical pain before their bodies give in. Some people dread even the tiniest amount of pain. They foresee situations that will cause pain in them. The way they react to even the smallest amount of pain is far more than the normal level of acceptance. Such people are said to be suffering from Algophobia. Algophobia is a learned behaviour, say behavioral psychologists. For example you may have heard from several people how hitting your shin on the furniture in the dark is the worst possible pain ever. So you tend to keep a watch and if it is dark, you move around extra-carefully to avoid bumping into the furniture and getting hurt. This would be considered normal, cautious behaviour. But if the same thought keeps buzzing in your head continuously and you go to extreme lengths to avoid that pain, you could be algophobic. Old people are the ones who have excessive fear. The age factor along with fear of death plays a vital role in old people developing this fear. For example an old lady may hear about all the ailments and pains that afflict old age people and may become apprehensive about it. She may develop irrational fears that more often than not, are also imaginary. She may start experiencing the pains even before anything actually happens to her. It may seem unrealistic to a normal person, but for algophobics pain can be a severely dreaded thing. Therefore they will go to great lengths to avoid pain at all levels, including day-to-day activities. They will not go into the dark, handle tools, avoid lifting heavy objects or even avoid playing any type of contact sports. If a task has a scope for injury and pain, they will avoid it! Frequently a pathological complaint of Hyperalgesia occurs along with algophobia. Hyperalgesia is a condition of increased sensitivity to pain due to damage to the peripheral nerves and pain receptors. Pain in such cases may be directly in the damaged tissues or in the surrounding areas. An interesting fact is that hyperalgesia can occur due to long term use of painkillers especially strong ones like opium and its derivatives. Algophobia is treated with behavioural therapy, psychotherapy and anti-anxiety medications. Hypnotherapy also has shown beneficial effects.  
Causes and treatment of sleep talkingIt is usually believed that sleep talking is associated with dreaming, but there is no scientific evidence available to support this hypothesis. In few cases, it may be associated with sleep disorders or any other diseases. Sleep terrors and REM sleep behavior disorder (RBD) are two sleep disorders associated with sleep talking. Sleep terrors are associated with frightening scream, kicking, and thrashing. It is commonly seen in children. Awakening becomes difficult during sleep terror. Patients with RBD utter a sudden loud cry, grunt, shout, or act out their dreams, usually violently. Other causative factors of sleep walking are emotional stress, mental health illnesses, substance abuse, fever, and certain medications. Treatment: Evaluation of the patient Patients with sleep talking should be evaluated by a specialist doctor especially if it is seen in adults or associated with violent actions, screaming, or intense fear. If children with sleep talking have disturbed sleep pattern, they should be evaluated by the pediatrician. The doctor asks questions to the parents, roommates, and bed partners about the nature and the extent of sleep talking. There is no definitive treatment available for sleep talking, although the doctor may test to record the sleep pattern of the patient to identify any sleep disorder. This test is known as polysomnogram. Management Sleep talking usually does not require treatment. Avoidance of stress and plenty of sleep at night may help to decrease sleep talking. However if any sleep disorder is identified by polysomnogram, it is treated accordingly by the doctor. If underlying causes like mental illnesses, substance abuse, or medications are identified, they are also managed accordingly. Mental illnesses like depression should be treated with proper counseling and medications. The patients should refrain from alcohol, heavy meals, fatty meals, etc. The patients are advised to follow regular sleep schedule, get adequate amount of sleep, and practice proper sleep hygiene so that severity and frequency of sleep talking is decreased.
Benefits of meditation: How daily meditation helps you lead a wholesome life Sharper memory: One of the most important cognitive capacities we use daily is our memory. With higher amount of stress on your brain and body due to demands at workplace and home, there is high probability of negative effect on your memory. This can be countered by mindfulness meditation where the focus of attention is a particular physical sensation. This lets you quiet your mind and learn to be attentive solely to the matter at hand, thus allowing your brain to be able to remember more sharply and quickly. Dealing with stress: Stress is the buzzword for anyone who is leading their life in busy cities. Starting from the hurried walk into the office to the pressure of meeting deadlines and reaching home exhausted only to find oneself engrossed in another set of tedious jobs is the condition of daily life for most people. Meditation will allow you to cope with stress in a stronger way by bringing the energies of your body under your control, thus giving you the power to channelize them effectively. Giving up painkillers: Recent medical studies, especially ones conducted in Montreal in 2010, showed how the practice of Zen meditation structures the brain in such a manner that its capacity to sense and deal with pain increases. Primarily practiced by Buddhist monks, Zen is the form of meditation where you focus on your breathing and posture while watching and letting your mind gradually turn quiet. In this way, you can put those pain killers away and increase your innate capacity to deal with pain. Happiness quotient: Prefrontal cortex is the part of brain concerned with positive emotions and feelings. Those who meditate have been seen to have greater activity in this area. Major journals and research institutions focusing on depression and role of meditation in reducing it have found that meditation helps the person to feel in control of their life by subtly changing the working of their brains and thus, resulting in greater capacity to cope with depression and negative feelings. Good for your heart: Two kinds of meditation which are greatly beneficial for smooth working of your heart are Zen and Transcendental meditation. Transcendental meditation, taking after its name, helps you to transcend your worries through attention on chanting. It has been found that meditating daily helps to reduce the chances of stroke and heart attacks by over 40%.
Stinky feet? Learn why!Most of us have experienced a bad smelly foot at least once in our lives. We all have that one friend or relative who has such smelly feet that he can clear off a room as soon as he kicks off his shoes! With more than 250,000 sweat glands in each foot, the feet are the most highly sweating parts of the body. What causes this bad smell? The feet contain thousands of sweat glands. During warm days or when you wear socks and tight shoes, the sweating increases in due proportion. The resulting sweat does not find an outlet and starts accumulating in the spaces available and this warm and moist area breeds bacteria. The bacteria start feasting on your sweat and dead skin. They digest their food and release the waste products. These waste products are toxic organic acids that cause the feet to smell so bad. About 10 to 15% of people suffer from this horribly bad smell. Why? This is because their feet are extra sweaty and become a home ground for certain bacteria called as Micrococcus sedantarius. Along with stinky organic acids, the bacteria produce volatile sulphur compounds. Sulphur compounds are powerful and extremely awful smelling almost like a dirty rotten egg. Teenage years also see extra amounts of sweating on the feet. Medical conditions like Hyperhidrosis can also make your feet sweat more. If you are suffering from a fungal infection of the foot, then rest assured that your feet will smell horrible. Smelly feet can be an embarrassing problem. It puts everyone in a spot. Hence, foot hygiene is important to avoid smelly feet. Always wash and dry your feet well every morning. Dab some antiperspirant powder on your feet and between the toes to soak the perspiration. Never wear the same shoes for more than 2 days in a row. Wear a fresh pair of socks daily. Keep your feet exposed to fresh air. Avoid tight-fitting shoes. Use an antibacterial soap to wash your feet if you have smelly feet. Visit your doctor if simple home measures do not prove very effective. Excessive sweating is often considered the cause for foot odor. This is not true. Sweating in itself is harmless; it is the bacteria that grow there that are responsible for the awful odor.
All you need to know about angioplasty!Why would you need coronary angioplasty? The walls of the arteries are being constantly lined with a fatty material called plaque. This plaque increases in certain conditions like atherosclerosis. When the build-up is too high, the artery gets blocked and the subsequent tissue receives very less or no blood, causing it to die. The plaque at times may be dissolved by medicines but if it is too big, medicines prove ineffective. This is manifested outwardly as a heart attack. This is the time when the doctor would recommend the coronary angioplasty as a treatment for you. How is it done? A thin catheter with a deflated tiny balloon at one end is inserted into the affected artery. Once the exact location of plaque build-up is reached, the balloon is inflated causing the plaque to get pushed against the artery wall and creating free space for the blood to flow. A small mesh called a stent may be placed to hold the artery in place. Some stents are coated with medicines that prevent the scar tissue formation following the angioplasty procedure. The procedure may be done as an emergency or it may be planned. If it is a planned procedure: You will have to get hospitalized and stop eating or drinking 6 to 8 hrs before the procedure. Once the procedure is done, the doctor would prefer you staying in the hospital overnight to watch for any adverse events that may happen. What happens after the surgery? The surgery lasts for 1 to 2 hours and you would be allowed to go home the next day. You will be advised not to undergo vigorous and strenuous exercises and to rest adequately. Most people are fit to return to work a week after the surgery.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
Stress-free sex: Know your safe period!Having sex is a pleasurable thing; and the nicest way to enjoy it, is to give in without being bogged down by the fears of getting pregnant. Not every act of sexual intercourse will result in pregnancy. There are days when your chances of conception are very high, just like there are days when the chances of getting pregnant are almost nil. Identifying these days will help you enjoy a better and a more stressfree sex life! A woman's menstrual cycle starts from the first day of  bleeding and ends about 28 days after that, on an average. Ovulation occurs on the 14 day of the menstrual cycle. The 14th day is the ideal day, theoretically. Since every woman's menstrual cycle differs, the day of the ovulation also differs. Hence doctors calculate the fertile period from the 12th to the 18th day of the menstrual cycle. This is the period when the chances of ovulating and hence getting pregnant, are optimal. The 1st to the 7th day and the 19th day to the start of the next cycle, are the days when the ovulation chances are very low. This means if you make love during these days, there are very little chances of you getting pregnant. This is the case with women who have regular period cycles. In case your cycles are not regular, then you would need to do a bit of math to calculate your safe period. For example, if your shortest cycle is of 26 days and the longest cycle has been of 31 days, then: 26-18= 8 and 31-10=21, which means the 8th to the 21st day of your cycle, are the most fertile days. The 1st to the 7th day and then the 21st day to the start of your next cycle, are the days that are safe for you to enjoy sex, without fear of getting pregnant. Opting to have sex during the 'safe period', isn't always fool-proof though. A lot of women have irregular cycles and the cycle length can vary from woman to woman; which is why the so-called 'safe period', is in truth, not 100% safe. It is always better to use condoms or other contraceptive methods like the oral pill to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
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