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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Fairness scream: The new male obsession"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?" The words at once evoke images of the evil queen as she strikes a vain pose at the looking glass. However, these days one needs to be more accommodating and make way for a preening gent to put forth the above query. All these days, fairness would be a quality an Indian male would look for in his wife. Just see the Fair & Lovely ads to know what we mean. But today, this very obsession has turned on itself. More and more men are being just as exacting about their own skin color, complexion and tone as their female counterparts. Just take a look at all those TV commercials where celebrity endorsements dangle the bait of fairness creams, lotions and body wash specially designed for teenagers and young men seeking to take them to the promised land of social and sexual success. But before you rush to buy that cream, here's what that fairness is all about Fairness is skin cell deep Fair, ruddy, dark or wheatish is all determined primarily by the melanin content in our skin cells. Some races like the Africans have a high melanin content thereby giving them a dark colour while Europeans are of a lighter skin colour due to low melanin content. So whether you use an expensive fairness cream or go in for beauty treatments at luxurious beauty spas, genetics will have a final say on the matter. How fairness creams work...or do they? Fairness creams contain chemicals which block the production of melanin in the skin and thus enable a lighter skin tone and a fairer complexion. Mostly melanin production in men is more than females, which is why women's fairness creams don't have so much of an effect on men. The cosmetic industry recognized this factor and thus developed products designed for the male skin. However, some of these "men's only" fairness brands are glorified sunblock creams which block the harmful ultra violet radiation of the sun which blackens the skin. The dark side of fair Some of the beauty treatments and fairness creams contain chemicals like hydroquinone, mercury, and even steroids, which could do more harm than good. If you are obsessed about fairness, the least you could do is use a branded product (though that is no guarantee of its efficacy!). First sample it to check of it suits your skin. If a rash breaks out, consult a skin specialist immediately. Finally, it is the health of the skin which is more important than colour. So exercise regularly or use natural skin treatments like orange peels, cucumber patches to enhance your skin tone. Don't give in to peer pressure. The obsession for fairness can lead to low self-esteem and needless rivalry. Cosmetologists and marketers of fairness products are the only ones who will laugh their way to the bank at your cost. So, if you have a darker skin colour you don't have to go in for expensive remedies just because men in your age group find it cool. Self-acceptance is much better remedy than any beauty treatment in the world.  
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
Mood disordersMood disorder is a category of mental health problems, and it includes all types of depression and bipolar disorder. The cause of mood disorder is not well known. Endorphins in brain are responsible for positive moods. The neurotransmitters regulate endorphins. Depression and other mood disorders are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Life events such as unwanted changes in life may also contribute to a depressed mood. Mood disorders are inherited. Children, adolescents, or adults who have a parent with a mood disorder have a greater chance of also having a mood disorder. Symptoms: Prolonged feeling of sadness Helpless feeling Low self-esteem Intense guilt Suicidal thoughts Loss of interest in daily activities Difficulty with relationships Disturbed sleep Change in appetite or weight Low energy Inability in concentrating Inability to make decisions Frequent physical complaints (i.e., headache, stomach ache, fatigue) Threats of running away from home Hypersensitivity to failure or rejection Irritability Aggressive behaviour Hostility In mood disorders, these feelings appear more intense than what a person may normally feel from time to time. Treatment Psychotherapy: It is focused on changing the individual's distorted views of themselves and the environment around them, working through difficult relationships, and identifying stress triggers in their environment and how to avoid them. Family therapy: Families play a vital supportive role in any treatment process. Antidepressant medications: Medications in combination with psychotherapy has shown to be very effective in the treatment of depression.
Expression forbidden! - Human emotionsSome people have a perpetual 'bee in their bonnets'! They maintain a demeanor and a mask which is virtually impenetrable. They are generally highly competent and efficient and occupy high positions of authority. They believe in living life set to a routine, and the worst part is that they expect others to adhere to it as well! God help those who have a boss like that, as their immediate liberty is at stake, and unless they are honing to be perfectionists, life is going to be a series of disasters with Captain Ice around! Nothing wrong with perfectionism per se, but when someone is a hard task master then he could well earn himself the epithet of being "a crashing bore," especially if he doesn't allow others to express themselves properly. Take a more intimate scenario - Mr. Bright Harry meets tepid Sally. The sparks fly only on Harry's side with Sally stonewalling his every effort to get to know her mind, body, and soul. A tough ask for poor Harry, as he is yet to touch first base with Sally. Know what? They have been married 5 years and she seems to be fond of him, yet has never as much admitted it to him. Quite frankly, the two could pass off for siblings rather than 'man and wife.' Why are some people such rotten spoilsports, especially where emotions are concerned?  It may well be a natural mindset for some to have an emotional guard up and emote, or have an emotional connect only with certain types of people. Fair enough and good show, we say! After all one can't be wearing one's emotions on a sleeve or you end up been taken advantage of. That's a mask that most 'tough guys with soft centre' wear anyway. Nowadays with the rules being somewhat relaxed with men been given liberty and allowances to display their gentler feminine emotional side, we find men going over the top with the sheer display of emotional expression. One is at sea wondering which one was worse off-the tough, cynical cop look or the "let me weep my heart out for you" kind of contrived emotion. That apart, it is bad enough for us having to contend with a person who has difficulty with expressing himself properly. We don't mean articulation or even well-developed linguistic ability - we mean being able to be spontaneous and congenial and a little forthcoming and nice to be with sort of an emotional person. So, unless someone has a romantic angle towards this guy (there are weirdoes all over the world, who go asking for it!) or girl, he is going to be feared, hated, despised, unloved, and uninvited by everybody. So why do people behave like they are going to be flogged for even attempting a ghost of a smile or a cheerful greeting to a fellow co-worker? Why do some people find it difficult even to open up on a psychiatrist's couch? The Mask The most common reason for Mr. or Ms. Grumpy is that they have probably been emotionally brutalized in their formative years by an authoritative parent and this has caused them to lock themselves up double quick in a shell and throw away the key. Now, that can be tough and extremely painful. It is a prison of their own making through which nobody can see that once bright-n-chirpy personality frozen, much like the curse of the wicked witch in those fairy tales we read. The person is dying to let his emotions out and let people see who he is, but since very little light escapes out due to the tough mask and veneer, that it is an uphill task. Then the sheer anger at not being understood, subconsciously plays havoc and then he gets to be the more demanding boss at work or that sullen wife or lone stranger staring in to nothingness on the park bench. These are the people that have a series of relationship disasters as their defence mechanisms are too solid to be penetrated. Some people may be naturally distant, and for them the finer and higher emotions probably don't register as much as they do in the average person. These guys are cut out for careers ranging from lighthouse keepers to morgue attendants to hangmen, where being emotional has no place. There are still others who swing the other extreme by showing so much of emotion that it is scary for others to take them on. Their emotional side is so overwhelming and demanding that it is actually a clever subterfuge on their part to drive people away as they subconsciously do not want people to get to know their real side. They generally don a mask of humor and good cheer and are great fun to be with. In reality, they are alone and scared and perhaps hurt emotionally. So, they feel safe to display emotions to masses rather than individuals. These people make good evangelists and rock stars as they can safely display and get an emotional discharge without running the risk of a one-on-one emotional exchange where they are afraid they would be hurt. If you encounter such a person who looks askance at you displaying your emotions, then it is better for you to talk things out and maybe put things in perspective. Of course, this all depends on whether you are emotional enough to maybe give someone a chance by understanding what drives them to do the things they do. Let me assure you the ice will thaw if the intention is genuine and well meant.
21 foods for a healthy heartFollowing is a list of heart-healthy food substances: Garlic: Did you ever think that the commonly available garlic in your kitchen can be heart healthy? It may be smelly for some, but for the heart it is a soothing substance. Garlic is known to control blood pressure, serum triglyceride level & cholesterol level. Carrot: Carrots, though taste sweet, have the ability to control blood sugar levels because of high level of antioxidants in them. So include carrots in your diet, especially in salads. Orange: This juicy fruit has cholesterol-lowering ability because of fibre pectin in it and also helps control blood pressure. Almonds: Though all nuts are believed to be nutritious, almonds are considered to be heart healthy. Almonds are rich in vitamin E, calcium, plant sterols, fibre and antioxidants. Almonds help in lowering LDL cholesterol and reducing risk of diabetes. Walnuts: Walnuts are rich in omega 3 fatty acids, monounsaturated fats which help in lowering cholesterol levels.  Oatmeal: Oats are very healthy & help in lowering the bad LDL cholesterol. You can have one bowl of oatmeal mixed in milk along with nuts as breakfast. Flaxseed: This honey coloured shiny seeds contain substances which are heart healthy, such as lignans, ALA and omega 3 fatty acids. It helps in lowering cholesterol level and controlling diabetes. Tofu: It is a type of soybean protein which can be replaced with paneer. Tofu is rich in fibre and polyunsaturated fats which prevent clogging of arteries.  Barley: The fibre in barley is believed to lower cholesterol and blood glucose levels.  Tuna fish: Tuna fish is rich in omega 3 fatty acids which helps in lowering cholesterol levels.  Salmon: It is very good for heart as it is rich in omega 3, EPA and DHA. It lowers and reduces the risk of inflammation in arteries. It is also believed to maintain the ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol. Red wine: Red wine contains catechins and resveratrol, good for heart health.  Black beans: They are a rich source of magnesium which helps in lowering blood pressure. It also contains folate, antioxidants and fibre which is helpful in controlling blood sugar and cholesterol levels. Fresh herbs: If you are hypertensive and want to control your salt intake then try using fresh herbs as a substitute for salt. It also contains antioxidants which are good for heart. Herbs include rosemary, sage, oregano and thyme. Extra virgin olive oil: This is rich in heart-healthy polyphenols & monounsaturated fats. As it's very costly you can use it as a topping for bread or salad. Sweet potatoes: White potatoes are believed to increase glycemic index so you can replace them with sweet potatoes. It is heart healthy as it has low glycemic index and also contains fibre, vitamin A and lycopene. Low fat yoghurt: You can include this in your breakfast safely as it contains calcium & potassium which helps in lowering blood pressure. Dried cherries: They are rich in anthocyanins and antioxidants which help in neutralizing the action of enzymes which cause plaque formation. In winter you should opt for strawberries, blueberries for a healthy heart. Cayenne chili pepper: Your blood sugar normally increases post a meal. By sprinkling cayenne chili pepper over your food can help preventing insulin level spike post meals. Hot cocoa: Coffee helps in patients with type 2 diabetes. Hot cocoa contains antioxidants helpful for heart. Kosher salt:  This is very beneficial for heart patients as it contains half the amount of sodium as compared to table salt and thus helps in controlling high blood pressure.
Thyroid may make your heart flutter!Thyroid is a small gland situated in the area of neck. In Greek, thyroid means the shape of a shield. Yes, thyroid gland is vital to a variety of important body functions and does act as a shield. But what happens when the shield is disturbed and goes weak? Thyroid dysfunction is recorded in approximately one to four people out of hundred Thyroid link to heart A research study was conducted in 2009 by Weill Cornell Medical College researchers. It was done to investigate and analyze the genetic link behind rhythm control of heartbeat. They found that the genes that are responsible for synchrony and rhythm in the functioning of heart are also closely connected to the thyroid hormone synthesis and could cause dysfunction of the thyroid. Thyroid activity directly influences the metabolism, blood flow and electrical activity of the heart. When there isn't enough thyroid hormone (low levels), the patients complain of low energy levels, fatigue and reduced heart rate. On the other hand, with increased thyroid hormone levels in the blood, patients report symptoms of hyperactivity of systems. There is diarrhea, palpitations, increased heartbeats and advanced cases show arrhythmias of heart, where normal beating rhythm of heart is disturbed and becomes irregular. Thyroid hyperactivity can be appropriately controlled with regular medication. Understanding arrhythmias When the rhythm of the heart is disturbed, it becomes irregular - this is called cardiac arrhythmia. There are various types of loss of rhythm - heartbeat is too slow (that is, the cycles are taking too long to complete), too fast (the cycles are repeating too quickly), too early (that is, before a cycle is even completed, another starts), too irregular (this is called fibrillation, where no specific pattern may emerge). The patients who have arrhythmia will often come with complaints of dizziness, shortness of breath, suddenly feeling weak or lightheaded, fainting and feeling of a flutter in chest (flutter can be understood as light but quick flapping of wings by a bird). Arrhythmias are usually harmless and most people would continue to live a healthy life for years with arrhythmias. But that does not mean it can be ignored. There is a battery of tests available to diagnose and indicate the seriousness of arrhythmias and let your doctor take a call on the line of treatment. If you have a thyroid dysfunction, get your heart checked immediately. And if you have faced arrhythmias, get your thyroid checked immediately. Both the conditions are controllable and treatable; there is no cause to worry over what could go wrong. Just be vigilant and informed.
Treating sore throatTest and diagnosisPatients with sore throat are examined by ENT specialists. At first, the doctor performs a local examination of throat. Clinical examination usually guides the doctor towards diagnosis. Although in order to confirm the diagnosis, the doctor may ask for culture and sensitivity test of the throat swab. Treatment Home remedies: Mild cases of sore throat are usually cured by home remedies. Following remedial measures can be adopted at home: Warm saline gargle – Gargle with warm saline water helps to relieve the discomfort and irritation of the throat. Half to one teaspoonful of salt is added to one full glass of warm water and the patient is advised to gargle. This process may be repeated 3 to 4 times a day to have a soothing effect on throat. Additionally, smoking and use of other tobacco products must be avoided. The patient must drink adequate amount of fluids. Warm liquid and semi-solid food must be consumed to provide a soothing effect on the throat. Cough lozenges to help relieve irritation and pain in the throat. Seeking advice of the doctor: If the signs and symptoms persist and are not adequately controlled by home remedies, the patient must seek advice of a specialist doctor. Viral infections usually do not require treatment. They are usually cured in 5 to 7 days. Bacterial infections require treatment as per the advice of a specialist doctor. Bacterial infections may require treatment by antibiotics. The treating doctor selects an antibiotic which is suitable for the patient depending on factors such as the age of the patient, report of the culture and sensitivity of throat swab, previous drug history of the patient, etc. Antibiotics usually effective in bacterial infection with sore throat are from the group of penicillins, cephalosporins, and macrolides. PreventionViral and bacterial infections are contagious. Good hygienic lifestyle and habits help prevent infections. Following things to be noted are: Frequent and thorough hand washes before consumption of food, after using toilet, and after sneezing and coughing. Use of a hand sanitizer during consumption of food outside home. Avoid sharing food and drinks from same glasses and utensils. Use a tissue paper or handkerchief while sneezing and coughing. Avoid close contact with patients with sore throat. If sore throat develops, few home remedies may prove to be curative. If sore throat persists, advice of a specialist doctor must be sought.
Your questions about contraception, answeredFew couples want to have babies as soon as they are married. Most want to enjoy their sex life without having to worry about conceiving a child in the process. If you are in this group, then here are answers to the most commonly asked questions about contraception. What is contraception? Contraceptionis use of various methods to control and prevent the pregnancy. It allows you to choose when you want to have a baby. What are the various methods of contraception? There are two main methods. Temporary contraception: Caps, combined pills, male condoms, female condoms, contraceptive implant, contraceptive injection, contraceptive patch, diaphragms, intrauterine device (IUD), intrauterine system (IUS), natural family planning, progesteron-only pill, vaginal ring. Permanent contraception: Female sterilisation(tubectomy), Male sterilisation (vasectomy). No contraceptive is 100% reliable and some can have side effects. Find out about all the methods listed here, so you can decide which method is right for you. How soon can I conceiveafter stopping the birth control pills? It is difficult to predict exactly how long it will take for a woman to start ovulating again. Some women are fertile as soon as the pills are stopped and others might take couple of months. Once the periods return and are normalised with normal ovulation, you can conceive a child. What if my period doesn't resume after I stop taking oral contraception pills? If you don't get your periods for several months, you may have what's known as post pill amenorrhea. The pill prevents your body from making hormones involved in ovulation and menstruation. When you stop taking the pill, it can take some time for your body to return to normal production of these hormones. Normally, periods should start again within three months of stopping the pill. But some women, especially those who took the pill to regulate their menstrual cycles, may not have periods for many months. If you don't have a period within three months, take a pregnancy test to make sure you're not pregnant, and then see your doctor.
Challenges faced by homosexual parentsThe major challenge in front of gay parents is to face society and protect their children from social prejudice and discrimination. Gay people can never have their own children, and hence, often opt for adoption. But, how can a couple, who is discriminated against by society, provide a healthy upbringing to a child? However, in some cases, gay parents are known to have capably given their child, all the love and care and the basic amenities that they need, for a wholesome and proper development. Sexual Orientation and Parenting In the American society, same sex parenting is more common than in other parts of the world. Even then, children of gay parents have to face many more challenges than the children with heterosexual parents. The U.S. Census report of 2000 has reported that around 22 percent gay couples and 33 percent lesbian couples have around 18 children living with them. The trend of adoption amongst gay people has been increasing over the years, despite the overwhelming challenges. According to a report published in June 2012 by the American Psychological Association, no scientific evidence has proven that sexual orientation can affect parenting effectiveness. This means that both lesbian as well as gay parents can indeed provide a healthy and supportive environment for raising their children. Major Challenges The major difference lies in the treatment that the children of gay parents get in society. They have to face discrimination and prejudice from schools, their peers and even within their own families. Gay or lesbian parents on the other hand, face the dilemma of how to explain to their children why they have two mothers, or two fathers. Many people in society, even those with strong educational backgrounds, are of the opinion that being gay or lesbian, is an illness due to which, they are incapable of being adequate parents. There is also a misconception that lesbian women tend to be less motherly than heterosexual women. But no scientific basis has been found to support these beliefs. Although the medical community does not consider homosexuality as a psychological disorder, society continues to have a biased outlook towards gay parents. Are Gay Parents Better than Heterosexual Parents? As of today, nothing can prove that gay partners are not as good parents as their heterosexual counterparts. Moreover, it has been found that people of the same sex divide their workload of raising the child, and hence, the childcare process is more smooth and satisfying. Some studies have even noted that lesbian or gay parents have superior parenting skills. But, again no scientific evidence has proven these observations, yet.
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