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Anger management in menThis isn't a tirade against TV Violence. On the contrary, why blame the movies for spewing out blood, guts and gore, when all they really do is reflect the times we live in. Art imitates life doesn't it? So why blame the rising crime graph and street violence on TV and movies? Why not peep within our own selves and see the sheer ferocity of the anger which we project collectively on box office sell-outs. Examine the angry man within. So well you shrug it off and say "We didn't start the fire, it's been always burning since the world's been turning." You can certainly do your bit to help douse that fire before it turns into a conflagration, spiralling out of control until it consumes you mentally, physically and spiritually. Anger is bad. Period. Inscrutable and mysterious indeed are the ways of anger. It is to do with the pace of one's life in these times which starts it all we suppose. Then comes the classic conflict between nature and nurture further adding 'reddie points' to the anger account which is ticking away somewhere accruing interest. Someday something as silly as a traffic snarl or a bad joke or anything really trivial or big; justifiable or unjustifiable will cause this anger to spew out like molten lava from the fissures of your head. Self control, restraint and tranquillity are then mere concepts which lie in a crumpled heap as the angry young man in you takes over and hits out at everything within sight. Since time immemorial, the male temperament has been programmed to hunt, protect and gather. The caveman in most males has not evolved at all! It now wears a suit and goes hunting gathering in his corporate cave. This is the monster in most of us we have to tame through "Anger Management". We might have taken a dig at the caveman being the corporate type, but he could be anyone with an anger issues - you, me, the petrol pump attendant or even Sean Penn and Charlie Sheen. Celebrities often have the luxury of having anger issues and, as we all know it, many a famous anger tantrum is often overlooked as a creative outburst. For us however it could mean a long term in jail and much worse - our days filled with regret! Anger is an emotion and therefore much as I hate to say it necessary to tell us something is not right. So it is nature's way of helping us perceive through our senses and feel anger as a result of that perception, much like happiness and sadness. However anger has a particular corrosive quality about it which if not expressed or acknowledged can wreck havoc on a man's health. Why do you think men outnumber women right from barroom brawls to health conditions like hypertension, heart attack and migraines? Most men when questioned after socking the living daylights out of someone state that they just had that lightheaded feeling as the serpent raised its ugly hood, the blood pressure shot up and adrenalin coursed through the veins, the ears heard that sickening thud of a pacing heart and then "The other guy was down on the ground and I didn't even feel a thing when I sliced his throat open! Honest! I have issues!" Can you imagine how horrifying it must be to lose our faculties and go berserk? Can you imagine how many innocent people are victims of road rage and unjustified violence? So how do you ditch that anger? First step is to find yourself a relaxation routine and deep breathing exercises can help you be more in control of your temper. Relax your muscles of all that tautness which anger makes it do. Consciously at a regular time do this relaxation routine. Feel your body respond by 'letting go' of old holding patterns. Yoga Postures, especially the 'Shavasana' can help tremendously by relaxing excitable natures and enables them to relax the body at will. Next time you feel angry about something you will find yourself responding appropriately. Remember it is you against anger. Tell yourself that anger is like a serpent it might bite its owner. So find a suitable method of letting out your anger, and know that doesn't include steeping down on the accelerator and running into the back of someone's car. That is anger getting the better of you and that's 'Road Rage' and Murder and suicide. Punch a pillow, get a pair of boxing gloves and wallop the hell out of a punching bag, run a mile, shout your head off in a deserted place if you must, but unclench the jaw and fists and maybe you will start seeing the lighter side of things. There are enough things in this world that truly deserve your anger. Without anger sometimes we cannot enforce change on the negative things in society. Whenever we hear of a rape of a helpless woman on a bus we are bound to feel anger. However letting that anger getting the better of us and going in for instant vigilante justice for perceived crimes is just as wrong. Then what sets us apart from people who rape, loot, plunder or murder? If we all exercise restraint and express anger as and when it registers instead of holding it inside would help a great deal. If you are angry about being given the short end of the stick at work and if for some reason you cannot express it then ensure that you don't implode by keeping it in or explode somewhere it is completely unwarranted. There will be a day when we will hear "TV Violins" instead of watching TV Violence.
Smell like roses, without the thornsYou bathe regularly and use the best possible deodorants, underarm anti-perspirants, panty perfume but the bad odour just doesn't go away. Pat yourself dry Very often you have a leisurely bath with scented bubbles and what not but when it comes to drying your body thoroughly, well you just pat yourself quickly, for you are in a hurry. The moisture on your body then attracts bacteria with fungi and they cause that embarrassing mouldy kind of stench on your body. So make sure you dab yourself thoroughly dry all over your body. Especially in places like the lower back where it is difficult to reach without some really flexible shoulder joints. Use the archer's swipe (The towel extended between the right hand over the head with  the left hand extended back to form the bottom grip, which looks like an archer reaching for a bow from the quiver). In case you are endowed with love handles and folds of fat then be generous with the patting, as those are the parts most susceptible to host bacteria. Change clothes often If you wear the same set of clothes and lingerie then you are surely going to have an odour which is lingering. So for those ladies who occasionly wear the same set of clothes without washing, the sweat is going to accumulate in there and raise a stink. Remember the Celine Dion song? It's a new day, a new start! Menstruation + Stress = Bad smell There is nothing that you can really do about your periods. Instead, try and be a little more extra careful during those 4 days. You can have an extra jab at the deo bottle or perfume lotion. However stress, nervousness and fear also leave chemical traces which come out along with the sweat. This adds to the bad odour. Humble pie for dessert? What you eat also affects the way you smell. Go easy on the garlic, onion rings and fish for they can make you smell slightly worse than an open sewer. Always rinse your mouth after eating and use a good minty mouthwash if at all you choose to pepper your meal with onion and garlic to ward offthe evil eye. You can add conditions like diabetes to cause a fruity kind of odour. Well in that case make sure you exercise regularly so that the skin sweats out the toxins. In case you are the extra-sweaty types then use medicated soaps or ensure you use steam baths regularly to keep your skin pores open.
Mother can pass stress patterns to childThe stress patterns in the mother have shown to affect the mental development of children and have been found to play a role in autism and even schizophrenia. "Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche." - Andrew Denton There are several studies conducted in this area of research. The results are varied and present a set of multiple issues that children can face if their mothers have been under stress when they were in the womb. In later years, these babies grow into children who have a weak mental state. They cry easily, pick the escape route in conflicts and difficult situations, are anxiety prone and may get easily bullied in social environments. Their social adjustment gets hampered due to emotional weakness. These children are not good at handling weak moments and end up being rubbed off the wrong way, time and again. It pushes them into a vicious cycle. The incapability to tackle socially stressful situations further scares them. They get bullied and become even more vulnerable. What to do? The approach is twofold. Curb the problem in the beginning. Yes, it is natural to be stressed. Pregnancy can be tough, physically as well as mentally. With the modern life, the stressors have increased and there is always so much to do in such little time. Relationships, work, food, health, hormones - there is ample to trouble you. Find a release for the tensions. The one growing inside you needs you to be happy and healthy. Do things that make you happy, keep your happiness at the top priority. Everyone around you needs to understand that. Reader, if you are the husband, parent, sibling or friend of a pregnant lady - support her, understand her and do all you can to make her smile. Do not be the one who reprimands if she is worried, be the one who takes away her worries. Pave way for a baby who is happy and ready to start a new life. Second, do what you can at the given time. The child is already here and is facing emotional adjustment issues - extend your support to him/her. Give the kid the ground to grow strong roots and stand tall, without being disturbed easily by gushes of the wind. While it is difficult to avoid stress, you can always try to handle it better, for the sake of your child.Soon-to-be mothers who go through stressful situations may be passing on the stress patterns to their babies.
Anger management for your teenaged daughter - Handling difficult teenage times If one fine day you find your daughter suddenly reacting differently to a particular situation, do not be surprised, especially if she is in her teens. The outburst is beyond her control and she herself is confused by her own behavior, at times. It's important rather than scolding her for her misbehavior, one must wait for her to calm down and then speak to her regarding the incident when she is in a jolly mood. It is impossible to forgive such behavior if it repeats regularly, though. Here are some ways to deal with your daughter if she strays the limits of accepted norm for a behavior. You can seek the help of a counselor and understand why this is happening and solve her queries so that she could handle them better in the future. Why do Teenage Girls Lose Temper?By the time, the girls enter their teens they would have become aware about the social etiquettes, importance of looks, acting in an acceptable manner in social scenarios and creating a 'cool' image about themselves when they are outside their homes. So, even if they are hurt, or are angry at something, they do not let it go public, lest their 'cool' image gets shattered. However, the same anger becomes bottled up and vents itself out when they reach home. It's much like the workplace anger showing up at home. This is the place where they can behave wildly and still expect forgiveness. However, that does not mean that you should let your daughter get away with such kind of madness. After she has cooled down, you need to talk to her to find out what is bothering her or making her behave in such a manner. Probably, she may not accept that she has a problem, but you will have to find a way to reach to the root of the issue. More often girls want to be like someone in their college or peer group. They want to fit into a particular group and being unable to do so makes them nervous and distraught. Teach your daughter to believe in herself. Make her understand that she is a unique person on her own and do not need to convert herself into someone else. It may take consistent effort on your part to imbibe all these things into her mind, but you have to work hard to make her understand. Self-Control is the KeyMany young girls do not know how to solve a particular problem when they are faced with it. Apart from taking her to a good counselor, you can discuss problem solving techniques with her. Ask her to understand the situation first, put a foot backwards, relax, and then find a solution to the problem. This habit will make her probe into the problem in a better way and she will be able to handle similar situations when they occur again. You can ask her to write down the problems that are bothering her and ponder over them. You can assist her initially, but as she matures she will find her own solutions depending on her past experiences. Adolescent girls have sometimes trouble keeping their anger, rage, and fear under control and hence their problems should be handled patiently. Brainstorming SolutionsOnce she has ripped apart every aspect of the problem and has come to a brainstorming solution, advise her to write down the plan of action. For example, if she is disturbed due to a particular teacher who does not seem to like her grades, she may do well seeking help through friends who are better in that subject, or for that matter, a bad remark by someone in a group might unsettle her, thereby venting her anger at home. With restraint on your part, make her understand that anger will only block her process to think or find a solution. If you teach her to find answers for the problems in a calm manner, your teenage daughter will surely learn to control her anger and behave normally as she grows into an adult.
Teenage troubles for autistic kidsTeenage brings along with it a lot of physical and psychological problems. Your body undergoes a lot of changes, the way the world looks at you is changing and you are not in the position to accept all this. Teenage is one of the most painful periods in one's life.  For an autistic child teenage can be compared to living a nightmare day in and day out. Here is a look at the problems of teenage from an autistic kid's point of view: Social Interaction The ability to interact socially is absent in autistic kids. They are loners who prefer to be left alone and undisturbed in their own worlds. Such a child is a natural target for bullying and ragging by other kids of his age group. At times even if the autistic child wants to come out and make friends, he is not able to do so due to lack of the required skills. Teenage is a period where you need at least one friend to confide in. It can be an extremely difficult phase when you are all alone. Puberty This is the dramatic time in life dilled with hormones and emotions. Your body undergoes lots of changes and you are confused about so many things. You don't know whom to ask or whom to turn to for guidance. Autistic children do not have the maturity to understand this phase. Special issues for autistic teens and sexuality include: Knowledge of physical changes in body. Knowledge of 'good' and 'bad' touch. Ability to communicate about a 'bad' touch or action. Keeping 'safe' distance from others. Handling menstrual cycles. Avoiding 'self-touch' in public. It can be a phase of emotional turmoil for the parents. They need to work closely with their child's special teachers to chalk out a plan that will be best suited to the child in handling puberty successfully. Self-help skills Simple self-help skills like hygiene can be a challenge for teenagers with autism. Improper motor skills, compliance, and sensory problems may interfere with a teen's progress. The proper training of hygiene and grooming can help to add these elements into the daily routine. The right approach is to simplify each task into simple small steps. The positive reward system is a great source of encouragement, as positive motivation always help the teenagers. Higher Functions Autistic teenagers are socially awkward. They lack the power to comprehend and process complex social cues which includes sarcasm, body language, humor, emotional responses and facial expressions. What complicates the problem is that the autistic child lacks empathy and hence may appear rude. Such kids are likely to be teased a lot in school settings.
Boost your self-esteemSimply believe in yourself. Life need to be made lighter. Pulling yourself down over trivial mistakes and not reaching certain standard definitely does not help.  Your self-esteem affects the way you interpret messages from others. It affects relationships, academic achievement, and living life to the fullest. Thus, recognize your true potential in life and work towards it. Those who have a high self-esteem always have an “I think I can” or “I will” attitude! This makes life much happier for them. Ups and downs in life are inevitable, but this should not bring down your self-esteem. One should work towards maintaining a high self-esteem at all times.  You need to have the power to control your self-esteem. It should not suffer from negative messages from others; in fact, negative messages should be viewed as constructive criticism. There are many ways in which self-esteem can be given a boost. Accept yourself and increase your inner stability so that you will not need validation or attention from other people. Meet new people. Follow examples of successful people. Don’t worry about how others might judge you. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Failures may come your way, but they are the best teachers in life. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Make the most with what you are best at, and strengthen your weaknesses. Focus on the positives and practice positive self-talk for encouragement. Avoid doing things just to “go along with the crowd.” Gather courage to express yourselves and ‘stand out’ from the crowd, as every new encounter is a learning experience. Develop a support system of friends. They will give due emotional back-up. Put into place good healthy habits; ensure the right kind of diet. Controlling the mind is essential for a healthy body. A stress-free mind is healthy and calm, which will incorporate positive thoughts. Give credit where the credit is due. Praise others and accept compliments in good spirit. This builds confidence. Keep criticism to a minimum, as it brings about negativity. Appreciate life. Look your best to feel your best. It is important to be well groomed. Improve your personal living space. Perfect your skills and practice your talents. Reward yourself often. It’s nice to pamper yourself once in a while. Stop comparing yourself to others; this will increase your stress levels unnecessarily. Your self-worth should not be based upon what others think of you, but how you feel about yourself. Communicate with others, colleagues, neighbors, family, and friends. Be social. Do something for someone else – a random act of kindness! They fill up the void and bring about a different level of happiness. It is beneficial to spend some time alone by yourself. Review your mistakes and analyze the experiences in your life. This should be carried out as a self-therapy, and not as a habit. Do not become a loner. Everyone is a unique. No one else is like you in the whole wide world. This makes you special already! Everything starts with you and ends with you. Remember, nobody can insult you without your permission!! A low self-esteem gives rise to health problems like depression, loss of interest in life, and stress. It is not difficult to correct this stage which comes in everyone’s life. Learn to rise above these shortcomings and improve your outlook about yourself. Confidence comes from not always being right, but learning to be wrong. - Peter T. McIntyre.
Not very chummy! Menophobia - The fear of periodsMenstruation or periods begin as female reaches puberty. This is the time when there are hormonal changes which occur in the body as nature takes the girl and makes her ready for womanhood. The onset of periods can be distressful with lots of mood swings accompanied by abdominal cramps, bloated feet as the menstrual blood flows. This is also a time when the girl needs to be comforted and educated the most, as it can be truly a terrifying experience. Normally mothers or elder women in the family ensure that they take complete care of the girl in this transition phase. For some women, their initial experience with periods may not have been particularly pleasant, causing them to actually dread those 4 days and this fear can then take the shape of a full blown phobia -Menophobia! The reason could vary. For some the pain factor could be the reason for menophobia, while for others, it could be the memory of embarrassing red stains on the clothes which could set it off. In menophobia, just before the onset of the periods, the person starts getting anticipatory anxiety and the pain which could be normal period pain, is then imagined to be ten times worse. This brings on panic attacks and feeling of utter dread which while is entirely psychological can be utterly distressful and downright crippling. Counseling can help greatly along with pain medication to manage the pain and the fear of this natural phenomenon called periods. In therapy, this is what is iterated. That menstruation is a completely natural process and if there is a fear of menstrual blood then gradually, the woman is encouraged to accept it as a natural body function which plays a major part of her being a woman.
Aerobics: dancing your way to healthAerobic exercise is any comprehensive activity that makes you breathe hard while exercising your large muscle groups at a standard, even pace. The body uses stored carbohydrates and fats for energy. What is aerobics? Aerobic literally means having or providing oxygen or an activity that takes place only in the presence of oxygen. What is aerobic exercise? Aerobic exercise is any comprehensive activity that makes you breathe hard while exercising your large muscle groups at a standard, even pace. The body burns stored carbohydrates and fats for energy. Thus aerobic exercises help the body to utilize oxygen efficiently with increase in respiration and heart rate. What are the best ways to do aerobic exercises? There are number of ways by which you can exercise aerobically. Some easy and best ways are: walking, running, biking, using stationary bike, using stair stepper, elliptical machines or rowing machines, or joining an aerobic exercise class Benefits of aerobic exercises Fat reduction: Aerobics burns calories and body fats directly while using oxygen to produce energy. So this is the healthiest way to get rid of extra fat.  Strong heart: Aerobic exercises not only use your larger muscle groups like hamstrings, but also strengthen the heart muscles. This improves heart function resulting in improvement of blood and oxygen supply to all body parts, which provides healthy nourishment to body cell and removes toxins. Improves breathing: Exercises improve your lung capacity and function,which improves oxygenation, or competence of respiratory system to deliver oxygen to all body parts. It also improves overall health of the respiratory system. Cholesterol control: LDL cholesterol is bad cholesterol mostly responsible for clogging of arteries and HDL is good cholesterol. Aerobic exercises invariable increase the amount of HDL and lower LDL cholesterol thus preventing fat deposition and plaque formation and maintaining optimal blood supply to heart. Other benefits: Aerobics is the best exercise when it comes to prevention of various diseases like hypertension, diabetes, stroke and arthritis and osteoporosis. It helps to keep mood elevated and cures depression and boosts immunity. Make sure to incorporate some form of aerobic exercise in your daily routine.  
Sleep tight at every good night!A good night's sleep! Oh, what would some of us give for that luxury! Sure, you can blame it on the fast paced world and the things you have to do to keep the competition off your turf, and millions of other reasons to be sleep deprived. Yes, sleeping soundly and regularly is well within our control. Maybe it has eluded you so far and you are caught in a vicious circle of staring at the ceiling for hours on end; so read on to see what simple things you can do to gently drift off in to the arms of nature's greatest restorative- beauty sleep. Do's and don'ts for beauty sleep Fix a regular bed time, so that your brain will adjust to this by sending sleep signals to the body. If your bedtime is completely at the mercy of your activities then even as fatigue sets in the body will refuse to obey. So, even as your body is screaming for rest, the mind does otherwise. This is where good old discipline comes in to play. Take in to consideration the activities which are absolutely necessary to do and note the frequency with which they are likely to interfere with your bedtime before setting a realistic bed time. Initially the mind will refuse to obey, and you are most likely to get up, after tossing and turning in bed, to switch on the computer or whatever it is that you do when you cheat your bedtime. Rest assured, in a couple of days the brain will get used to this sleep routine and prepare you for shut down. Sleeping well also largely depends on how stress free you are. If the mind is in a state of constant excitement or anxiety, sleep will elude you. So when you lie down to sleep you need to fade out and blank everything out- joy and sorrow; expectations and ambitions, all of these out for later access! Tell yourself that tomorrow is another day and what you need today, is a state of neutrality! That's what most Indian philosophers would want you to do anyway. A good eight hours of sleep may depend largely on our minds but external factors can matter too. Sleep comes easily when your mattress is comfortable and not too soft or too hard. Use a pillow that won't give you neck pain, as any discomfort in the neck is likely to throw sleep off gear. Wearing clean night clothes can give you better quality of sleep. That goes for the bed spread as well.  Try this for yourself. Tight and uncomfortable night clothing is not recommended as this will only make you wriggle about for comfort. A cozy blanket and some clean nightclothes make great bedtime mates. Some people have a nightcap to help them sleep better while others still, drink themselves to sleep. Alcohol in large doses can only numb but does not help you sleep and you will only find yourself waking up frequently. Sleeping pills can be habit forming and might have serious side effects in the long run. So try simple remedies like a glass of warm milk or hot chocolate before bedtime to help you sleep better. Avoid stimulants like coffee, tea or nicotine before bedtime as that can keep your nerves all hyper thus making sleep quite difficult to come by. Computers and television are also largely responsible for us staying up late and disrupting our sleep patterns. We often find ourselves mechanically flipping channels or browsing without any real need for it. Try and go offline before bedtime, especially if you want to be able to schedule your sleep time. Television or movies can excite the brain and then you will find it difficult to fall asleep. So about an hour before bedtime switch off the telly or computer and just sit quietly and do some deep breathing exercises. Just sit cross legged for about ten minutes and relax your body. You are now ready for a deep slumber.
Easy tips for fresh breathBrushing your teeth twice daily is not enough for fresh breath. How well you brush, and how long you brush are equally important, as are flossing regularly and eating right. 19 year-old Rita suffers from bad breath. It is a huge drawback for her. No one at college wants to be her friend. Her doctor suggested that she brushes twice daily, and also prescribed a good mouth wash for her. Following this advice has not helped her much. There must be millions of us who identify with Rita's problem. Halitosis, or bad breath, is a huge embarrassment not only for the person who has it, but also for the person who has to bear it. It can be a cause of social isolation, as seen in Rita's case. A fresh smelling breath is a sign of good hygiene. A fresh breath makes you more confident of yourself, and you feel ready to face any challenge that life throws your way. So, what do you do to keep your breath minty fresh all day? Brush twice a day, and use a good mouthwash regularly, would be your reply. But is this enough? Let us start by busting a few myths here! Mouthwash will give you fresh breath all day long. It won't. It will only make your breath fresh temporarily. As long as you brush your teeth regularly, you need not worry about bad breath! Brushing your teeth is necessary. The key here is how long and how well you brush. Most of us brush for 35 to 40 seconds, which is just not enough. One needs to brush properly over all the surfaces of the teeth to clean them well. This should take you not less than two minutes! And you thought brushing twice daily was enough! Here are a few tips to keep your breath fresh: Bad breath is the result of bacterial activity in your mouth. One of the reasons for bacteria to grow is due to dryness. So, never let your mouth go dry. Keep your mouth well hydrated. Drink loads of water. One of the other reasons for bacterial activity in the mouth is the food particles that get accumulated in the cracks between your teeth. Be sure to rinse your mouth well every time you finish eating something. Flossing is an activity you should never ignore. Flossing does what regular brushing cannot do; It removes the food stuck between your teeth. Avoid foods that cause bad breath-like coffee, tea, sugary drinks, garlic, onions, or broccoli. Sugarfree gums are a good way to keep your mouth hydrated, as they increase the flow of saliva. Gel based toothpastes may give you a fresh breath, but the effects are temporary. Go for fluoride toothpaste that is good in the long run. Yoga poses like the Kapal Bhati Pranayam, Sheetali Pranayam, Sheetkari Pranayam, Yoga Mudra, Simha Asana are effective in combating bad breath. Visit your dentist regularly, and get your teeth cleaned professionally. Avoid junk food, and foods that are rich in sugar and fats. Instead, go for fresh fruits and vegetables. Quit smoking and alcohol consumption. Simple things like brushing daily, flossing daily, rinsing your mouth after every meal, and eating right can help you keep your breath smelling fresh all day long.
Winter - When your heart feels the cold too!As per a study in America, 193.6 people of every 10000 people die of a heart disease every year. 53% of the heart attacks occur in the winter months. Heart diseases have a seasonal trend as found by medical research recently. A team of medical researchers recently conducted a survey which saw 10,000 participants between the ages 35 to 80 from around seven European countries. The study was conducted to see if there is any seasonal variation in the presentation of heart diseases. The participants were measured on the parameters of blood pressure, waist circumference, body mass index, blood glucose levels and blood lipid levels. The parameters were later adjusted for sex, age and smoking. The results revealed that the incidence of heart disease shows an upward trend in the winter month [Jan to Feb] as compared to the summer months [June-Aug]. The researchers accept that there is no logical explanation to these findings. A plausible cause being the fact that the eating habits change in winter. One tends to eat more which in turn increases the cholesterol levels leading to heart diseases. Several other theories are being put forth. According to one, during the winter months the body undergoes hormonal imbalance. The day and night variation in the hormone levels, especially that of cortisol varies. This results in a lower threshold for heart attacks. Yet another theory says that the cold temperature tends to constrict the arteries narrowing the blood flow to the heart tissue and this result in a heart attack. On the basis of this study, scientists advise that more attention is to be paid to heart health during the winters.
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
Busting misconceptions about homosexualityIn the past few years, homosexuality has become a subject of public discourse in India. Thanks to gay pride marches and the Delhi High Court's historic ruling decriminalizing same-sex intercourse in 2009, more people today are willing to accept homosexuality as normal. However, there are still a large number of people who are still confused about whether homosexuality is normal. Homosexuals are people who get attracted to people of the same gender. Gay is a term used for both male and female homosexuals, but some prefer the term 'lesbian' when it comes to women homosexuals. Some misinformed people consider homosexuality as a purely decadent western phenomenon which is far from the truth. Homosexuality finds its place in recorded history throughout the world. So is homosexuality abnormal? A few decades ago a gay person would have ended up on a psychiatrist's couch where attempts would have been made to re-orient him/her towards the heterosexuality. However, as the American Psychology Association notes, "No, lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations are not disorders. Research has found no inherent association between any of these sexual orientations and psychopathology. Both heterosexual behavior and homosexual behavior are normal aspects of human sexuality." Some scientists are trying to find a genetic link to homosexuality. Results so far have not established a definite link. A whole lot of factors could play a role in deciding sexual orientation - genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural. One cannot safely conclude that being "gay" is in one's genes and is therefore, hereditary. Legalizing gay marriages Same-sex marriage is legally recognized in several jurisdictions within the United States. As of April 2013, nine states—Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, and Washington—as well as the District of Columbia and three Native American tribes[1]—have legalized same-sex marriage, representing 15.7% of the US population.
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