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Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
Marrying late in lifeConventionally, the marriage age is determined according to the linear formula of happiness that we have constructed and believe to be true. The formula being: getting married by 24 --> having children by 27 --> working (optional) --> becoming a grandparent (that too, real soon!). However, time and again, men and women wandering in their 40s-50s have woken up from the deep disturbed slumber to realize that maybe- just maybe, they had walked into things too fast. They had been unable to know who they are and to become a self-conscious human being before being ready to fuse their lives with another. The prime point of being single and marrying later in life is not to go on some form of egoistic joy-trip but to be able to know oneself and become ready to be the right person for the other. By marrying late, you give yourself time to experience freely what you like and dislike. You get to explore the world at your own terms- travel whenever you want and involve yourself in festivals and activities that manifest who you are. Marrying early doesn't allow for time to explore one's being, as marriage generally immediately follows the time you finish your studies or begin working. One of the most important aspects of adulthood today is travelling. However, every individual has unique wants of travelling and being a single adult will allow you to experience the world fully. You will also get in touch with yourself, exploring how you would like to live. The decision will arise from a ground of experiences which would clearly tell you what repels and what appeals to you. Such experiences are rarely findable once you begin living with another, as you would have to schedule your days and basically, your routine around the other's life as well. Financially, you have reached a point where you know how to take care and manage finances, allowing you to plan your wedding pragmatically. Marrying at a later point in your life allows you to be clear about when you would like to be a parent. Your experiences also ready you to be a considerate and understanding parent who can guide a child. As you grow older, you tend to become more tolerant and the propensity towards differences turning into unnecessary fights is lowered. As our ways of looking at the world change, every person as an individual has the need to learn to see the world as a home. This feeling of being at home is created only through series of experiences one has to go through as a responsible adult. In the face of inexperience, two individuals coming together often find themselves incapable of being happy with one another. Marrying later allows you to have grown into a wiser person yourself before sharing your life with another.
Infertility at workplaceSince infertility among the younger age is increasing, it is important that a couple decides an early suitable date to attempt conception. Time and again it has been found that infrequency of intercourse is the cause of delayed pregnancy. It is advisable that the woman has a thorough examination by the gynecologists to identify the ovulation dates and for the man to have a thorough spermatic fluid check.  If both are normal then they could wait for a suitable date later. Should there be a problem the quicker it is attended to better. Also, early in the marriage they should start a fund which could be utilized for matters related to conception. For the male, the main treatment covers his personal sex life and a detailed examination of his spermatic fluid. It is the female who has to undergo many detailed tests and possibly surgeries which are expensive. It is often seen that not only the procedures for both take a toll on their personal and intimate relationship but also severely affect their finances which may come to a point that it does not allow them to complete the treatment as for e.g. the woman undergoing IVF may costs several lakhs of rupees. The treatment of infertility has improved greatly, but interferes severely with the work schedule. Working couples particularly women may have a hard time keeping to their schedules. Depending on their infertility diagnosis, many workplace challenges exist including the need to take time off to undergo tests and other appointments. It is difficult to balance the medical and surgical procedures with daily life and work. This is a difficult issue for many people as they fear their employer may discriminate against them for taking time off from work. Sadly in India there are very few employers who include medical benefits and cost of treatment for infertility. Suggestions have been given on stress dealing with infertility treatment and work. Here are few pitfalls to avoid: Do Your Homework: Review your organization's HR policies so you understand the amount of leave you have and other policies that pertain to your situation. You may be able to arrange for flex time or work from home on the days of your appointments, so that you do not actually miss any work. Be Honest:  Go to supervisor and let her or him know that you will be using your leave time and will give as much notice as possible. Honesty is the best policy. Remember people are inherently curious about the disease of infertility. If you feel the questions are invasive and make you feel uncomfortable, remember you do not have to answer the questions. You can respond nicely and let them know that you appreciate their concern but you are not ready to answer any questions. Your co-workers are asking question because it is human nature to be curious. In conclusion, not everyone needs to know what is happening with your reproductive health. At work place should medical help be available do take advantage of it.  This treatment has nothing to do with your performance at work. Go to work feeling confident that you will be able to perform your job and handle your workload during this time.
Pediatric diet formula food vs traditional foodAccording to the World Health Organisation, it is unnecessary to give your baby rice cereals at the age of four months as breast milk can provide all the nourishment a baby needs in the first year. No other solid food is required. Breast milk has all the nutrients like fats, protein, cholesterol, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals which are required in the first year of life. According to most studies,formula foods are not the healthiest option to begin solid foods on. Doctors prefer that babies be given boiled vegetables and mashed fruits like bananas and not formula cereals that contain simple carbohydrates. It is not a good idea to give babies processed and refined foods that are found in all formula foods. Formula foods do have nutrients, but they are not as easy to absorb as nutrients from foods prepared at home. You can also ensure quality in food that is prepared at home. Formula foods cannot imitate the natural taste of foods. Babies like to choose foods according to taste just like the adults and you can give them a wide variety of choices like offering them different fruits and vegetables rather than the similar tasting formula. You will be surprised to know that mother's milk has the taste of the foods she eats and so babies develop taste for a variety and may like the insipid taste of formula. Another reason why formula foods may not work that well is that they contain cereals. However, the enzymes that are required to digest carbohydrates are not fully developed in babies until they are more almost three years old. Cereals and breads are very difficult for babies to digest. Undigested grains can throw off the balance of bacteria in the gut and this is the reason for a lot of digestive issues once they are grown up. Solids should not be introduced until six months of age, as studies now reveal that if solid foods are given early on then it increases the likelihood of allergies, especially of those foods introduced. Babies produce only few enzymes and digestive juices that are mainly required to digest protein and fats. This is because mother's milk has 50 to 60% healthy fat which is a must for the babies' mental and physical growth. Most baby infant nutritionists feel that formula feed is not a complete food. Babies will get deficiency,such as iron, as it is difficult to absorb them from formula foods. The debate continues as many feel that the marketing gimmicks are what selling these foods and not the nutritional value they provide to babies. A note of caution, excessive amount of juices are harmful for babies as these can lead to obesity.
Cranky kids in a diner? dealing with them made a bit easy!This has happened to many a parent. They make a reservation at a fine dining restaurant, perhaps with friends and relatives. But their kid screams, and cries,disturbing the entire restaurant, and spoiling the general mood. For this reason, many parents avoid going out altogether, especially to fancy places. But there are ways in which you can handle the toddler when you are at a restaurant. We will show you how. Carry toys Restaurant may be boring at times for toddlers. That's why they turn peevish and may start playing with forks, spoons or knife. So carry some toys, crayons, notebooks, or even a story book, which will keep them busy and you can have a good time. Order something yummy and healthy for the kid A hungry kid is an angry kid. So, order something which is your kid's favorite and also healthy at the same time. Or you can carry something along with you like fruits breads, cherries or other nutritious treats. Keep responding to what kid says The best way to keep childrenwell behavedis to talk to them and respond whenever the child speaks. Don't avoid them or get too engrossed with other people. They get cranky when they don't get a response from you. Take a round with your kid When the kid becomes difficult to handle, just pick him in your arms and take a mini tour of the restaurant or walk outside. This will distract him and relieve his boredom. Don't tolerate any bad behavior If the bad behavior of the kids is intolerable, then firmly tell them that they need to adopt good manners if they want to visit restaurants again. Disturbing other diners is not acceptable. But it doesn't mean that you punish them.You just have to remove them to a place where they don't bother anyone. Make your outing relaxed and enjoyable Above all, don't forget to have fun and make it an enjoyable evening. Don't get too carried away disciplining the kid. You can afford to be a bit silly and enjoy the time with your child.
Afraid of the dark? understand your fear and cure it!Scotophobia, more commonly known as Nycotophobia, is a psychological illness, where the patient is afraid of the dark. Children are more prone to this fear, though it does affect quite a few adults as well. The dark often represents insecurity and uncertainty to children, and it symbolizes their entrance into an unknown territory. If the children are alone during their first few encounters with darkness, the absence of parents (who exemplify safety), tends to amplify this crippling fear. While most of us do actually possess this fear in relatively small amounts, as we grow up the fear diminishes. However, there are those of us who might carry this fear of the dark into their adulthood and in such cases, the fear is usually accompanied by quite a few intricate issues. People often tend to externalize a set of conflicting feelings about a certain situation, towards something else. For instance, you might be worried about your children; but your mind may externalize this fear, via your inefficiency at work. This process is called externalization. So, when it comes to the root of your fear of darkness, it is possible that at some point in your past, you experienced something untoward, which through externalization, inculcated this fear of darkness, deep into your psyche. Evolutionary Ties to Darkness: Many scientists have pointed out that this phobia might be linked to the process of evolution. Since predators hunt for their prey at night, we might have inherited this fear of darkness from our ancestors, who believed that darkness was a space where they could be attacked by wild animals. However, recent studies have shown that  Scotophobia begins at approximately the age of two in children, and thus, it cannot be said to be innate to us. In a study done by Ryerson University involving over 90 students, it was found that people who are afraid of the dark, are more likely to be poor sleepers, than those who are not afraid of it. More interestingly, it was discovered that any kind of noise made while the people with this phobia were asleep, frightened them the most.. Symptoms of Scotophobia: The first symptoms of this fear are the resistance to visit dark places and the yearning for company when such situations arise. However, many a times adults who are suffering from this fear, do not reveal it due to the added fear of embarrassment and this, sometimes, results in outbursts of rage when they are forced to go out for an event at night, or to confront the dark under any such circumstances. A person battling this fear may experience panic attacks, sweating and trembling prior to, or while staying in the dark. The blood pressure also rises, accompanied by chest pain and lastly, a difficulty in breathing. Diagnosis of Scotophobia: In children, this fear can be easily verified by their behaviour. However, adults might require further assistance, due to their natural resistance to openly admit to such a fear. Scotophobia can be diagnosed through a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation. Following this, your psychologist would be able to give you an idea of the source of your fear as well. Pursue a course of treatment immediately after the discovery of the phobia, which will ensure a faster and more effective recovery. Treatment of Scotophobia: The process of 'desensitization' is most commonly used to help with such a phobia. In this form of treatment, the patient is slowly exposed to the object of fear, in a situation where she/he will not feel vulnerable. This is done by asking the patient to confront the dark along with another individual who symbolizes safety for him/her. This could be a parent or a friend. Night lights can also be installed to gradually reduce the fear. You may try certain breathing exercises, which will reduce the panic attacks that accompany this fear. Hypnosis has also been said to be very effective in dealing with this phobia. If your psychologist sees fit, you might be also prescribed some medicines; antidepressants are given in some cases. Joining a self-help group is also a good option, in addition to your psychological treatment.  
Algophobia: The fear of painAlgophobia is the fear of pain:  an abnormal and consistent feeling that is far beyond what would be considered normal. The term is derived from the Greek words, Algos meaning pain and Phobos meaning fear. Our bodies are designed in a way that when there is a painful stimulus it reacts. How the body reacts to the pain is an individualistic phenomenon. Some people have a very low threshold for pain, and even the slightest pain evokes a huge response in them. Where as others can withstand a good amount of physical pain before their bodies give in. Some people dread even the tiniest amount of pain. They foresee situations that will cause pain in them. The way they react to even the smallest amount of pain is far more than the normal level of acceptance. Such people are said to be suffering from Algophobia. Algophobia is a learned behaviour, say behavioral psychologists. For example you may have heard from several people how hitting your shin on the furniture in the dark is the worst possible pain ever. So you tend to keep a watch and if it is dark, you move around extra-carefully to avoid bumping into the furniture and getting hurt. This would be considered normal, cautious behaviour. But if the same thought keeps buzzing in your head continuously and you go to extreme lengths to avoid that pain, you could be algophobic. Old people are the ones who have excessive fear. The age factor along with fear of death plays a vital role in old people developing this fear. For example an old lady may hear about all the ailments and pains that afflict old age people and may become apprehensive about it. She may develop irrational fears that more often than not, are also imaginary. She may start experiencing the pains even before anything actually happens to her. It may seem unrealistic to a normal person, but for algophobics pain can be a severely dreaded thing. Therefore they will go to great lengths to avoid pain at all levels, including day-to-day activities. They will not go into the dark, handle tools, avoid lifting heavy objects or even avoid playing any type of contact sports. If a task has a scope for injury and pain, they will avoid it! Frequently a pathological complaint of Hyperalgesia occurs along with algophobia. Hyperalgesia is a condition of increased sensitivity to pain due to damage to the peripheral nerves and pain receptors. Pain in such cases may be directly in the damaged tissues or in the surrounding areas. An interesting fact is that hyperalgesia can occur due to long term use of painkillers especially strong ones like opium and its derivatives. Algophobia is treated with behavioural therapy, psychotherapy and anti-anxiety medications. Hypnotherapy also has shown beneficial effects.  
5 tips to reduce your salt intakeSalt is an inevitable part of our food, but added salt has harmful effects on the body. The list of benefits in reducing sodium/salt intake in our diet runs long, ranging from lower blood pressure, in turn leading to reduced risks of heart disease, obesity, and diseases of the kidney. The daily sodium intake of an individual should not exceed 1500-2300 mg per day (a table spoon of salt approximately), and this needs to be maintained in the salt added to our food, including the processed food and drinks we buy. Sodium, an indispensable component of our diet, is consumed in excess by most of us. Follow the tips, as mentioned below, to curb your daily salt intake. Avoid added salt. Do not add salt to already cooked food while eating. Keep a diary and make a list of foods with salt in them that you eat daily. Do not forget to add pickles, spices, papads, salted biscuits, and salted nuts. All of these are highly loaded with salt. Next time you go shopping read the labels. Choose low-salt options-sauces, crackers, khakhra, instead of papad. Make an attempt to eat less canned and processed foods. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables over processed food. Eat less bread. Each bread slice has about 250 mg of sodium. Do not mistake bread to be healthy. Next time, keep this in mind when you go out to eat pizza. Pizza base is like bread. While cooking food, make it a point to add salt only towards the end in the recipe. This way you will need to add lesser salt. Sodium content of some foods Bread (one slice) - 250mg Cheese pizza: 450 - 1200mg Tomato soup: 350 - 1000mg Potato chips: 100 - 150mg
4 super foods to keep you healthy this winterWinter is here. It is time for lazy mornings and blanket hideouts. It is also the time when the markets are lined up with a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, all juicy, healthy and colorful. Discover four such super foods for the cold winter evenings. Citrus fruits: Oranges, sweet lime, lemons; bring them all and have them all. Bright yellow or orange, they are like the bright sunny mornings which you need after a cold night. Rich in vitamin C, antioxidants, flavonoids and several other nutrients, citrus fruits are the perfect measure for your daily dose. Peel it off and chew it up, or slice it off and lick it on, or squeeze it strong and drink it down - choose the way you like. Citrus fruits help in taking care of your cholesterol, as well. Potatoes: Potatoes are the victims of most diet plans. It is loaded with carbohydrates, we should not eat potato, and so on and so forth. Potato is not that bad actually. In fact, its nutritional value may come as a surprise to many. The content of vitamins B6, C and folate is high in potatoes. Potatoes are rich in essential minerals like potassium, zinc and magnesium. The starch content may be significant, but so is the fiber content. They are known to protect against colon cancer. What are you waiting for? Have some potatoes, will you? Make sure there is no guilt. Kidney Beans: Kidney bean is our favorite Indian 'Rajma'. They are a rich source of carbohydrates and proteins, are known to lower the cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of heart disease. They are particularly known for helping to replenish the iron stores of your body. It can be the food of choice even if you have diabetes, as it is almost fat-free and doesn't send a sudden rush of glucose in the blood. When combined with rice, kidney beans make a very healthy meal. So, is it rajma-chawal (kidney beans with rice) for dinner today? Green leaves: Yes, yes, you are bored of reading and listening to the benefits of green leafy vegetables. But, we have to remind you, for the advantages are too many to be ignored. They are the greenest, freshest and leafiest in the winters. Even if you are not a fan, you will feel like picking up a bunch from the grocery store. Spinach (palak), fenugreek (methi), cabbage (gobhi) are the ones that we can commonly find. Others to look for are lettuce, mustard greens, etc. The green leaves are a rich source of a variety of vitamins, mineral, fiber and water content. They are suitable for all ages and can be easily digested. Entertain that potato lying in your kitchen, cook up a dish with the green leafy ones. Alternatively, you could try it in the form of salads, soups, juices, flour fillings, and any other creative ideas that you chefs have.  
Easy tips for fresh breathBrushing your teeth twice daily is not enough for fresh breath. How well you brush, and how long you brush are equally important, as are flossing regularly and eating right. 19 year-old Rita suffers from bad breath. It is a huge drawback for her. No one at college wants to be her friend. Her doctor suggested that she brushes twice daily, and also prescribed a good mouth wash for her. Following this advice has not helped her much. There must be millions of us who identify with Rita's problem. Halitosis, or bad breath, is a huge embarrassment not only for the person who has it, but also for the person who has to bear it. It can be a cause of social isolation, as seen in Rita's case. A fresh smelling breath is a sign of good hygiene. A fresh breath makes you more confident of yourself, and you feel ready to face any challenge that life throws your way. So, what do you do to keep your breath minty fresh all day? Brush twice a day, and use a good mouthwash regularly, would be your reply. But is this enough? Let us start by busting a few myths here! Mouthwash will give you fresh breath all day long. It won't. It will only make your breath fresh temporarily. As long as you brush your teeth regularly, you need not worry about bad breath! Brushing your teeth is necessary. The key here is how long and how well you brush. Most of us brush for 35 to 40 seconds, which is just not enough. One needs to brush properly over all the surfaces of the teeth to clean them well. This should take you not less than two minutes! And you thought brushing twice daily was enough! Here are a few tips to keep your breath fresh: Bad breath is the result of bacterial activity in your mouth. One of the reasons for bacteria to grow is due to dryness. So, never let your mouth go dry. Keep your mouth well hydrated. Drink loads of water. One of the other reasons for bacterial activity in the mouth is the food particles that get accumulated in the cracks between your teeth. Be sure to rinse your mouth well every time you finish eating something. Flossing is an activity you should never ignore. Flossing does what regular brushing cannot do; It removes the food stuck between your teeth. Avoid foods that cause bad breath-like coffee, tea, sugary drinks, garlic, onions, or broccoli. Sugarfree gums are a good way to keep your mouth hydrated, as they increase the flow of saliva. Gel based toothpastes may give you a fresh breath, but the effects are temporary. Go for fluoride toothpaste that is good in the long run. Yoga poses like the Kapal Bhati Pranayam, Sheetali Pranayam, Sheetkari Pranayam, Yoga Mudra, Simha Asana are effective in combating bad breath. Visit your dentist regularly, and get your teeth cleaned professionally. Avoid junk food, and foods that are rich in sugar and fats. Instead, go for fresh fruits and vegetables. Quit smoking and alcohol consumption. Simple things like brushing daily, flossing daily, rinsing your mouth after every meal, and eating right can help you keep your breath smelling fresh all day long.
Female circumcision - Health EffectsThe procedure is carried out by either snipping off a piece of the clitoris or removal of all external genitalia for non-medical reasons. The procedure is carried out outside hospitals and the environment may not be effectively clean and could lead to infection. The painful procedure causes a lot of fear and distress. Some countries have begun to use healthcare personnel to cut the genitals, which reduces pain, bleeding and infection but it does not mean that it is acceptable by the United Nations. Even though the United Nation has termed female circumcision as a violation of human rights, there are millions of girls suffer because it is a requirement for girls so that they remain pure. It is supposed to lower female libido so that they do not indulge in any kind of sexual activity before marriage. Immediate complicationsGirls are likely to suffer severe pain besides the fear that accompanies such a procedure. It can cause them more pain when they try to urinate. If there is severe bleeding, it can lead to haemorrhage. The tissues that form the genitals are severely damaged and healing may not take place immediately and sores can form leading to more pain. Girls can retain urine for fear of the pain. There is always a chance of contracting tetanus or other bacterial infections like sepsis which lead to formation of pus. Besides cutting, procedures can include pricking, piercing, incising, scraping, and cauterizing the genital area. Long term health problemsBesides the immediate problems, female circumcision can lead to long term effects including infertility. The girls can be subjected to urinary tract infections and bladder infections that can recur again and again. Sometimes cysts may also form. There are chances that there could be increased risk of problems during childbirth which could in extreme cases result in the death of the newborn baby. According to UN estimates more than 125 million girls and women are living with female circumcision. Women may be subjected to continuous surgeries especially in those cases where the vagina has been stitched to make it narrow as part of the circumcision process. Once the girls are married, the vagina is unstitched to have sexual intercourse. During childbirth, the vagina may need to be cut again to deliver the child and then stitched up again. This is a continuous problem and women should be spared from this pain and trauma.
Busting misconceptions about homosexualityIn the past few years, homosexuality has become a subject of public discourse in India. Thanks to gay pride marches and the Delhi High Court's historic ruling decriminalizing same-sex intercourse in 2009, more people today are willing to accept homosexuality as normal. However, there are still a large number of people who are still confused about whether homosexuality is normal. Homosexuals are people who get attracted to people of the same gender. Gay is a term used for both male and female homosexuals, but some prefer the term 'lesbian' when it comes to women homosexuals. Some misinformed people consider homosexuality as a purely decadent western phenomenon which is far from the truth. Homosexuality finds its place in recorded history throughout the world. So is homosexuality abnormal? A few decades ago a gay person would have ended up on a psychiatrist's couch where attempts would have been made to re-orient him/her towards the heterosexuality. However, as the American Psychology Association notes, "No, lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations are not disorders. Research has found no inherent association between any of these sexual orientations and psychopathology. Both heterosexual behavior and homosexual behavior are normal aspects of human sexuality." Some scientists are trying to find a genetic link to homosexuality. Results so far have not established a definite link. A whole lot of factors could play a role in deciding sexual orientation - genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural. One cannot safely conclude that being "gay" is in one's genes and is therefore, hereditary. Legalizing gay marriages Same-sex marriage is legally recognized in several jurisdictions within the United States. As of April 2013, nine states—Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, and Washington—as well as the District of Columbia and three Native American tribes[1]—have legalized same-sex marriage, representing 15.7% of the US population.
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