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Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
The post-delivery bluesA baby being born is cause for celebration. Especially in a country like India, where the family ties tend to be close, there is a festive atmosphere at home. However, sometimes the mothers may not share the same enthusiasm. This wave of negative emotions in the middle of what is clearly a happy occasion can be confusing for the new mother. Interestingly these feelings are not abnormal, as many new moms face postpartum depression, which is also called baby blues. It is an emotional reaction that begins a few days after delivery and lasts not more than 2 weeks. What are the symptoms of postpartum depression? Feelings of anger or irritability. Lack of interest in the baby. Lack of appetite and sleep disturbance. Crying and sadness. Irritability or hypersensitivity. Feelings of guilt, shame or hopelessness. Loss of interest, joy or pleasure in the things you used to enjoy. Possible thoughts of harming the baby or yourself. What are the causes of postpartum depression? Postpartum depression can occur due to a combination of factors. Hormonal changes: Changes in the level of hormones can leave you feeling tired, sluggish and depressed. Changes in your blood volume, blood pressure, immune system and metabolism can contribute to fatigue and mood swings. Emotional factors: Feeling overwhelmed with the new arrival in the family, and taking care of the baby day and night, may leave you sleep deprived, overexerted, and anxious. New mothers also feel that they look less attractive after pregnancy. You may feel that people around you are concerned with the baby more than you, and that you are being neglected. All these emotional factors may lead to postpartum depression. Other factors: Issues like breast feeding, financial strain, and relationship troubles can also contribute to postpartum depression. How does one deal with postpartum depression? Take complete rest and sleep for sufficient hours Spend quality time with your husband Go for healthy diet Take morning or evening walk for fresh air Try to follow yoga or other exercises Share your feelings with your husband or friends Do not overexert Join some groups for new moms Go for individual therapy or counsellors Remember, postpartum depression is not an incurable problem. It is just a temporary state of mind, which can be overcome if you are sufficiently aware of the problem.                
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
Pediatric diet formula food vs traditional foodAccording to the World Health Organisation, it is unnecessary to give your baby rice cereals at the age of four months as breast milk can provide all the nourishment a baby needs in the first year. No other solid food is required. Breast milk has all the nutrients like fats, protein, cholesterol, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals which are required in the first year of life. According to most studies,formula foods are not the healthiest option to begin solid foods on. Doctors prefer that babies be given boiled vegetables and mashed fruits like bananas and not formula cereals that contain simple carbohydrates. It is not a good idea to give babies processed and refined foods that are found in all formula foods. Formula foods do have nutrients, but they are not as easy to absorb as nutrients from foods prepared at home. You can also ensure quality in food that is prepared at home. Formula foods cannot imitate the natural taste of foods. Babies like to choose foods according to taste just like the adults and you can give them a wide variety of choices like offering them different fruits and vegetables rather than the similar tasting formula. You will be surprised to know that mother's milk has the taste of the foods she eats and so babies develop taste for a variety and may like the insipid taste of formula. Another reason why formula foods may not work that well is that they contain cereals. However, the enzymes that are required to digest carbohydrates are not fully developed in babies until they are more almost three years old. Cereals and breads are very difficult for babies to digest. Undigested grains can throw off the balance of bacteria in the gut and this is the reason for a lot of digestive issues once they are grown up. Solids should not be introduced until six months of age, as studies now reveal that if solid foods are given early on then it increases the likelihood of allergies, especially of those foods introduced. Babies produce only few enzymes and digestive juices that are mainly required to digest protein and fats. This is because mother's milk has 50 to 60% healthy fat which is a must for the babies' mental and physical growth. Most baby infant nutritionists feel that formula feed is not a complete food. Babies will get deficiency,such as iron, as it is difficult to absorb them from formula foods. The debate continues as many feel that the marketing gimmicks are what selling these foods and not the nutritional value they provide to babies. A note of caution, excessive amount of juices are harmful for babies as these can lead to obesity.
A baby - proofed guide to childcareCaring for kids is an important task. Everyone wishes to nourish kids in a loving and caring yet protective atmosphere. Initial stages of development call for more care and attention. Health, hygiene and safety at home and outside are important when it comes to kids. Here are a few helpful tips to all the parents: Nurture your infants with massage. Learn a right way or get it done from a professional. It is a great therapy to make muscles strong and bond with the baby. Prolonged crying bothers parents a lot. Usually continuous crying for long hours is suggestive of colic or stomach ache. It is the most common problem in kids, the reason being immature gastric system. Do not panic. Keep medicines at hand and give them as per instructions by your kid's doctor. Toddlers often insist on being carried even when they know how to walk well. Make sure to hold them comfortably. Diapering a baby is a skill that must be mastered especially when the baby is fidgety. Holding baby in right position flat on the back simplifies the task. Parents adapt to doing the job effortlessly with practice. Transition period of swapping from breastfeed to bottle known as weaning is a tough task for most of the babies. Consider gentle weaning strategies advised by the doctors. Do not be abrupt. Go slow! Some Safety Tips: Cap and lock the medicines, detergents, chemicals etc. in containers keeping them far away from the children. Bathingwater should be always checked before bathing the baby. Do not leave kids alone near water tub or any water source alone. Avoid leaving baby in a highchair to prevent injuries such asbaby climbing out, falling, or sliding. Lock up all the knives, matches, and plastic bags away from children to prevent poisonings, bleeding injuries, burns and suffocation.
Faking illnesses - An illness in itself?In 2008, a 28 years old woman in the US shared some shocking news with her friends. She had been detected with cancer. She posted updates on social networking sites and wrote blogs on her illness. Sympathy poured in from all corners. Some even sent in monetary help to cover her expenses. The saddest part of the incident though was not her cancer; it was the fact that she had faked it! Police investigations revealed her little trick when no evidences or records were found at the hospitals! Apparently, this isn't a unique case;  faking illnesses or malingering is a very common occurrence. All of us have done it at some point in our lives. While we may have done it to escape a school punishment or to take undue advantage of the office 'sick leaves' for personal purposes, it is usually done on a harmless level. But faking illness can be a chronic disorder too and  medical professionals even have a name for it-; Munchausen's Syndrome. People suffering from this syndrome fake illnesses that they don't actually have, to gain sympathy or simply to be the center of attention. Usually gaining sympathy is the main reason why people fake illnesses. It gives them a chance to be in the spotlight. Everyone calls and visits, expresses concern and fusses over them. Lots of love is showered upon them. Another common reason for faking illnesses, is money and at times, the monetary benefits are higher than the emotional ones. No one hesitates to fulfill the last wish of a dying person, however expensive it may be. Often there are mixed motivations and the person faking an illness has many reasons to keep up the pretense of being sick, for as long as possible. Some people really do have a disease — a mental illness known as a factitious disorder. People with this disorder pretend to have an illness, which is usually a terminal one and often go to great lengths to maintain their hoax. Munchausen syndrome by proxy, is another form of faking illness. People with this disorder, fake illnesses of people under their care; and they usually do this, for monetary benefits. Children are the most common victims in this disease. When you tell someone that your child has cancer, you will receive a great amount of sympathy and all the money you want, no questions asked! People with these disorders are extremely cunning. They go to great extents to maintain their lies. They will build grand stories, complain of fake pains and aches, get admitted to hospitals and undergo a battery of tests, numerous times. Interestingly, they never allow and frequently discourage medical professionals, from talking to any of their family members. Since they know they are faking the illness, they will refuse to undergo treatment, for obvious reasons. . If you think a loved one may be exaggerating or faking their health issues, attempt a gentle conversation, voicing your concerns. Avoid anger, judgment or confrontation, while offering support and care and if possible, help them in finding a treatment. Treatment includes empathy, helping in identifying feelings and issues that led to the development of the disorder and finding  alternative healthy ways to deal with those feelings and issues.
Healing yourself after a broken relationshipThere is no singular formula to get over a relationship. Moreover, you cannot 'get over' a relationship like you get over a broken phone. Every relationship is like a grown tree. When it breaks, you have to let it molder into the Earth - the time period between the breaking of the relationship and your comeback as 'you' is the time for transformation - this is your time to understand yourself, your relationship with others, and reach out to the world. Did you know the over 50% of people undergoing breakup tend to resort to emotional eating to rescue themselves from sadness and rush in the comfort hormones? Keep an eye on what you eat to trace the emotional signs you are disguising. Keep a tab on your diet and pamper your body with care. Here are seven basic stages through which you can consciously walk to recover through your broken relationship. Such a process is not linear and you could be undergoing various stages at the same time or in a different order. However, make sure you go through each stage. Missing any stage could result in residual and subconscious anger or denial. Stage 1: Let it outDon't be afraid to accept that you are heartbroken, that you feel like a mess and just wish that your ex-partner was around again. Accepting your emotional state is the first step to being able to unravel yourself out of it. Stage 2: Pondering over the causeThe initial stage post-breakup is primarily spent trying to distract oneself from the absence of the ex-partner by busying oneself with other activities. However, the nagging question 'why did our relationship not work? why did it have to be this way?' lingers, ready to barge in at the very instance you have your moment of peace. The first thing to understand during a breakup is that there is a distinction between analysing and understanding on one hand and obsessing on the other. Try to go through the stages in your relationship which you intuitively trace as being of significance to the break-up. However, remember not to be biased towards yourself and to weigh your responsibility towards the breakup as much as you do your ex-partner's. Stage 3: Taking a hard look at the relationship and learningYou might have had other relationships before where you did not feel the kind of intimacy you felt with this particular person. However, if you feel that you are up to a large part responsible for the break up, then look for the pattern of behavior or thinking which was causing such a breakup. Taking a hard look at your relationship will help you to recognize your mistakes and learn readying yourself to become a more sensitive person with greater understanding of human emotions. Stage 4: Reaching out to the WorldWhile you are working yourself through reasons for breakup and your role in it, don't step back from reaching out to people. Communication is the basic balm that will heal the wound of a broken relationship. Your inner communication with yourself is one dimension of it while talking things out with your friends and close ones is another important dimension. During a conversation about the breakup, don't simply blame your ex-partner completely to blind yourself towards healing. Be honest to yourself and attempt to talk to those friends who can help you through the hard time with care. If you love animals and nature, then reach out to the wild. Take time off from your usual routine and follow your interests. Stage 5: The Bigger Picture of the Break-up Having pondered over the reasons particular to your past relationship, understand that the fundamental reason for any relationship to break up is that the two people involved in it have different ways of looking at the world. Remember that differences do not imply a hierarchy. Differences are essential to human nature. This will help you to forgive your ex-partner, catalysing your redemption from the land of anger and despair. The world is a beautiful place full of diverse kinds of people. Do not let your breakup make you give up on humanity. Stage 6: Letting yourself freeNow is the time to have a relationship with yourself. Explore your interests and dip yourself in them. It is not a crime to be happy with yourself. However, do not use these activities to escape the pain. Let your activities be your company in pain - slowly the pain will fade and you will reconcile with the reality of your broken relationship. Join hobbies which will help you have some time for yourself: pottery, nature watching, animal care, voluntary work. Remember that your identity does not depend on the opinion of your ex-partner: you create who you are. Most importantly, take care of your body - we tend to mess up our body cycles during a breakup. Stage 7: Giving yourself time to become complete before starting off with another relationshipDo not rush into a relationship before you have completely healed from the past relationship. There is a high tendency to try to fill the gap of the absence by moving onto the next most intimate person you know. Give yourself time to recover and answer the following questions before entering into a relationship again: What kind of relationship do you want to have? How would you like to spend your day with her/him? (Remember that a whole day is a series of small activities that you will share with your love - don't focus just on the big stuff like finance, house, and others, emphasis on shared interests). What future do you expect from a relationship? These are the three basic questions. Be free to add on the relevant questions according to your needs and answer them honestly before writing a new chapter into your life. Having pondered over the reasons particular to your past relationship, understand that the fundamental reason for any relationship to break up is that the two people involved in it have different ways of looking at the world. Remember that differences do not imply a hierarchy. Differences are essential to human nature. This will help you to forgive your ex-partner, catalyzing your redemption from the land of anger and despair.
Aerobics: dancing your way to healthAerobic exercise is any comprehensive activity that makes you breathe hard while exercising your large muscle groups at a standard, even pace. The body uses stored carbohydrates and fats for energy. What is aerobics? Aerobic literally means having or providing oxygen or an activity that takes place only in the presence of oxygen. What is aerobic exercise? Aerobic exercise is any comprehensive activity that makes you breathe hard while exercising your large muscle groups at a standard, even pace. The body burns stored carbohydrates and fats for energy. Thus aerobic exercises help the body to utilize oxygen efficiently with increase in respiration and heart rate. What are the best ways to do aerobic exercises? There are number of ways by which you can exercise aerobically. Some easy and best ways are: walking, running, biking, using stationary bike, using stair stepper, elliptical machines or rowing machines, or joining an aerobic exercise class Benefits of aerobic exercises Fat reduction: Aerobics burns calories and body fats directly while using oxygen to produce energy. So this is the healthiest way to get rid of extra fat.  Strong heart: Aerobic exercises not only use your larger muscle groups like hamstrings, but also strengthen the heart muscles. This improves heart function resulting in improvement of blood and oxygen supply to all body parts, which provides healthy nourishment to body cell and removes toxins. Improves breathing: Exercises improve your lung capacity and function,which improves oxygenation, or competence of respiratory system to deliver oxygen to all body parts. It also improves overall health of the respiratory system. Cholesterol control: LDL cholesterol is bad cholesterol mostly responsible for clogging of arteries and HDL is good cholesterol. Aerobic exercises invariable increase the amount of HDL and lower LDL cholesterol thus preventing fat deposition and plaque formation and maintaining optimal blood supply to heart. Other benefits: Aerobics is the best exercise when it comes to prevention of various diseases like hypertension, diabetes, stroke and arthritis and osteoporosis. It helps to keep mood elevated and cures depression and boosts immunity. Make sure to incorporate some form of aerobic exercise in your daily routine.  
Sleep tight at every good night!A good night's sleep! Oh, what would some of us give for that luxury! Sure, you can blame it on the fast paced world and the things you have to do to keep the competition off your turf, and millions of other reasons to be sleep deprived. Yes, sleeping soundly and regularly is well within our control. Maybe it has eluded you so far and you are caught in a vicious circle of staring at the ceiling for hours on end; so read on to see what simple things you can do to gently drift off in to the arms of nature's greatest restorative- beauty sleep. Do's and don'ts for beauty sleep Fix a regular bed time, so that your brain will adjust to this by sending sleep signals to the body. If your bedtime is completely at the mercy of your activities then even as fatigue sets in the body will refuse to obey. So, even as your body is screaming for rest, the mind does otherwise. This is where good old discipline comes in to play. Take in to consideration the activities which are absolutely necessary to do and note the frequency with which they are likely to interfere with your bedtime before setting a realistic bed time. Initially the mind will refuse to obey, and you are most likely to get up, after tossing and turning in bed, to switch on the computer or whatever it is that you do when you cheat your bedtime. Rest assured, in a couple of days the brain will get used to this sleep routine and prepare you for shut down. Sleeping well also largely depends on how stress free you are. If the mind is in a state of constant excitement or anxiety, sleep will elude you. So when you lie down to sleep you need to fade out and blank everything out- joy and sorrow; expectations and ambitions, all of these out for later access! Tell yourself that tomorrow is another day and what you need today, is a state of neutrality! That's what most Indian philosophers would want you to do anyway. A good eight hours of sleep may depend largely on our minds but external factors can matter too. Sleep comes easily when your mattress is comfortable and not too soft or too hard. Use a pillow that won't give you neck pain, as any discomfort in the neck is likely to throw sleep off gear. Wearing clean night clothes can give you better quality of sleep. That goes for the bed spread as well.  Try this for yourself. Tight and uncomfortable night clothing is not recommended as this will only make you wriggle about for comfort. A cozy blanket and some clean nightclothes make great bedtime mates. Some people have a nightcap to help them sleep better while others still, drink themselves to sleep. Alcohol in large doses can only numb but does not help you sleep and you will only find yourself waking up frequently. Sleeping pills can be habit forming and might have serious side effects in the long run. So try simple remedies like a glass of warm milk or hot chocolate before bedtime to help you sleep better. Avoid stimulants like coffee, tea or nicotine before bedtime as that can keep your nerves all hyper thus making sleep quite difficult to come by. Computers and television are also largely responsible for us staying up late and disrupting our sleep patterns. We often find ourselves mechanically flipping channels or browsing without any real need for it. Try and go offline before bedtime, especially if you want to be able to schedule your sleep time. Television or movies can excite the brain and then you will find it difficult to fall asleep. So about an hour before bedtime switch off the telly or computer and just sit quietly and do some deep breathing exercises. Just sit cross legged for about ten minutes and relax your body. You are now ready for a deep slumber.
MigraineA Severely painful persistent headache can put anyone in distress. Migraine symptoms vary from person to person. Some people get intimation before the pain begins. It can be sparkling flashes of light, blind spots, or distortions. Some others experience tingling or "pins-and-needles" sensation in hands or face. This is called an aura. The headache begins within 30 minutes of seeing an aura and may last for 4 to 72 hours. Extreme sensitivity to light, noise, smells, nausea and vomiting, loss of appetite and fatigue, numbness, tingling, or weakness are all-common in migraine. There is no permanent solution to migraines. People suffer for years together and keep on taking painkillers for a long time. Pain killer helps only if taken right at the beginning of the headache. Keep a watch on things that trigger the migraine and try to avoid them. Make some lifestyle changes that can help prevent migraines to some extent. Taking good sleep. Lack of sleep can cause migraine. Appropriate hours of sleep as a routine will help to prevent the attacks. Regular meals at fixed time help to prevent migraines in people who get headaches due to hunger or not eating on time. Regular exercises help to rejuvenate the body and prevent migraines along with many other diseases. Stress is another important cause for migraines. Avoid stress. Learning to manage it will keep migraine at bay. Caffeine triggers migraine in many. Avoid caffeine. Reduce it if quitting is not possible. Limiting alcohol will again be very beneficial as alcohol and hangovers can be the cause. Meditation and relaxation therapies may also help prevent migraine headaches.  
A guide to earwax impactionBiologically, the earwax which builds up over time moves through the ear canal from movement caused by chewing or other jaw motions. It is also extricated through the inside-out motion of the skin of the ear canal - it reaches the outer ear and peels away. The cerumen is produced in the outer regions of the ear and not in the inner recesses. Earwax impaction refers to the condition where the ear wax builds up to such an extent or in such a manner that it causes discomfort to the entire body. In many cases, earwax impaction occurs when patients use cotton swabs or safety pins to clean their ears, only causing the wax to drop deeper into the ears. The main symptoms of earwax impaction include difficulty in hearing, faintness, ache in the ear, foul smell in the ear region, ringing or sound in the ear (also known as tinnitus), a sensation of fullness in the ear, and lastly, discharge from the affected ear. The most vulnerable groups for this condition include those who use hearing aids or ear plugs, elderly people, and those who insert cotton swabs or other items into their ears, as well as those who have an odd ear shape which could negatively affect the discharge of the earwax and those suffering from development incapacities. Did you know that one of the most common methods used by people to clear excessive earwax is ear candling where a candle (in shape of a cone) is placed inside the ear canal and set alight to warm up and remove the wax? This is one of the most dangerous methods causing burns, worsened blocks, and damaged eardrums; this should be clearly avoided. The diagnosis of this condition can be done by an ear specialist using an instrument called otoscope. Earwax impaction is treated in many ways. While at home, you could try to clean the outer region of the ear by wiping with a cloth, the physician could irrigate or syringe the ear to wash out the ear canal with saline. This procedure is generally done once the wax has been softened by the use of cerumenolytic solutions aimed at dissolving the wax like mineral oil, peroxide-based ear drops, and hydrogen peroxide. Physicians also use special instruments to remove the built-up earwax like forceps, cerumen spoon, and suction tool. The best way to prevent cerumen impaction is by not inserting anything into the ears to clean it up. Cotton swabs should only be used in the outer part of the ear. In case you feel that the buildup is regular, then you can fix an annual appointment with your physician for cerumen removal.
Impact of sexual dissatisfaction on mental healthIn an idyllic world, this may sound all "sugar and spice and everything nice," but in reality the matter of having sex is considered to be a taboo, something that is looked down upon - not just in third world countries, but in some parts of the  developed world as well. Add to that the effects of being sexually dissatisfied, which is also looked down upon and frowned upon. When a couple finally decides to take the plunge, there are the normal worries such as sexual compatibility, satisfaction, frequency, taboos, etc. What if your spouse/partner is dissatisfied? What if he/she doesn't consider it a pleasurable experience? These questions often arise in any relationship and it is only natural, but what happens when these worries often turn into realities? The dissatisfaction takes a toll on your mental health. Yes, your mental health suffers thanks to your sexual dissatisfaction. Every partner has some amount of expectations as far as sex is concerned, and when those expectations are not matched, dissatisfaction begins to set in. Generally speaking, when a person is sexually satisfied, he or she is always in a better frame of mind, but when they are not, their behavior around people goes downhill. Not just that, but their frustration and angst builds up, taking a toll on their mental health and their relationships as well. Many a times when the couple is incompatible, they decide to keep quiet rather than talk about it. This takes a toll on their mental health, which then turns into stress and its build up can lead to depression, or worse. Even the memories of past transgressions and the guilt after can lead to sexual dissatisfaction, which can either make or break any relationship. There are multiple reasons as to why a person is dissatisfied sexually, be it due to sexual dysfunctions, lower stamina, sexual orientation, or so forth! Rather than accepting that there is a problem, people usually turn to drugs, alcohol, or even someone else for dependency, which also causes mental as well as hormonal imbalance. Most people when asked about sexual dissatisfaction shy away than deal with it, as they are ashamed of it and are afraid to talk to about it. However, what they don't realize is that not talking about it will only lead to problems such as depression, anxiety, dependency, and bouts of sudden outburst which can lead to a severed relationship, not just with your spouse or partner, but also with your family and friends. Sexual dissatisfaction is often the primary cause of depression, which, if not treated, can lead to a host of other problems. So if you are suffering from sexual dissatisfaction and are under great amount of mental strain, it is always better to be open about it to your partner or consult a therapist. Prevention is always better than a cure! Talking about it to someone can lead to you releasing your mental strain and the end result will be your personal satisfaction.
Sex during pregnancy? It's possible!One of the questions that arise when a woman gets pregnant is whether it is safe for the couple to have sex. We'll try to answer the most common questions couples tend to ask. Is sex safe during pregnancy? Sex is considered safe if the pregnancy is normal in all stages. However, even if it is safe, it doesn't mean the woman would want to have it. Desire for sex fluctuates during the various stages of pregnancy and sex becomes plain uncomfortable as the body gets larger. What is not safe? Two types of sexual behaviors are not safe during pregnancy. While having oral sex, the man should not blow air into his partners' vagina. It can lead to air blockage of blood vessels by an air bubble, which is called air embolism, and can be lethal for both mother and baby. The pregnant woman should strictly avoid sex with a partner with unknown sexual history or who may have a Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). What are the common risk factors? In case of significant complications with pregnancy, abstinence from sexual intercourse is advised. Common risk factors can be: Threat of miscarriage. One can have pre-term labor or signs indicating the risk of pre-term labor (such as premature contractions). Unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping. Leakage of fluid surrounding the baby, called as amniotic fluid. Placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta (the cord connecting mother to the baby and nourishes the baby) is located low down and covers the opening of the uterus. Cervix incompetency, a condition where cervix is weak and dilates before full term, increasing the risk of miscarriage or premature labor and delivery. Can sex during pregnancy harm the baby? The baby is always protected by the amniotic sac (a bag-like structure that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid) and uterine muscles. A thick mucus plug seals the cervix and protects the baby from infection. The penis does not come into contact with the fetus during sex. So, sex can't harm the baby directly. Can orgasm lead to miscarriage or contractions? The contractions felt by pregnant women during and just after orgasm are totally different from the contractions of labor. Therefore, in cases of normal and low-risk pregnancies, orgasm can't cause contractions and miscarriage, but always check with the doctor and make sure that your pregnancy is in the low-risk category. What are the safe positions for sex during pregnancy? The old standby missionary position for intercourse may not work for you now. Instead, try these options: Spooning: Lie side by side with him behind you. This will not put pressure on your belly, and makes for more shallow penetration. Female on top: There's no pressure on the belly, and the female can control the speed and depth of penetration. Side of the bed: The female lies on the back on the edge of the bed with knees bent and feet on the edge. The male stands facing her. It's like classic missionary, but the male won't be resting his body weight on the pregnant female. However, remember 'normal' is a relative term when it comes to sex during pregnancy. You and your partner need to discuss what feels right for both of you and take advice from the doctor.
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