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  MEN`S HEALTH MORE
Tips for a smooth shave
The mystery of the male mind revealed!
Fairness scream: The new male obsession"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?" The words at once evoke images of the evil queen as she strikes a vain pose at the looking glass. However, these days one needs to be more accommodating and make way for a preening gent to put forth the above query. All these days, fairness would be a quality an Indian male would look for in his wife. Just see the Fair & Lovely ads to know what we mean. But today, this very obsession has turned on itself. More and more men are being just as exacting about their own skin color, complexion and tone as their female counterparts. Just take a look at all those TV commercials where celebrity endorsements dangle the bait of fairness creams, lotions and body wash specially designed for teenagers and young men seeking to take them to the promised land of social and sexual success. But before you rush to buy that cream, here's what that fairness is all about Fairness is skin cell deep Fair, ruddy, dark or wheatish is all determined primarily by the melanin content in our skin cells. Some races like the Africans have a high melanin content thereby giving them a dark colour while Europeans are of a lighter skin colour due to low melanin content. So whether you use an expensive fairness cream or go in for beauty treatments at luxurious beauty spas, genetics will have a final say on the matter. How fairness creams work...or do they? Fairness creams contain chemicals which block the production of melanin in the skin and thus enable a lighter skin tone and a fairer complexion. Mostly melanin production in men is more than females, which is why women's fairness creams don't have so much of an effect on men. The cosmetic industry recognized this factor and thus developed products designed for the male skin. However, some of these "men's only" fairness brands are glorified sunblock creams which block the harmful ultra violet radiation of the sun which blackens the skin. The dark side of fair Some of the beauty treatments and fairness creams contain chemicals like hydroquinone, mercury, and even steroids, which could do more harm than good. If you are obsessed about fairness, the least you could do is use a branded product (though that is no guarantee of its efficacy!). First sample it to check of it suits your skin. If a rash breaks out, consult a skin specialist immediately. Finally, it is the health of the skin which is more important than colour. So exercise regularly or use natural skin treatments like orange peels, cucumber patches to enhance your skin tone. Don't give in to peer pressure. The obsession for fairness can lead to low self-esteem and needless rivalry. Cosmetologists and marketers of fairness products are the only ones who will laugh their way to the bank at your cost. So, if you have a darker skin colour you don't have to go in for expensive remedies just because men in your age group find it cool. Self-acceptance is much better remedy than any beauty treatment in the world.  
Sunshine for busy executivesMost people working in corporate offices, spend long hours within the confines of concrete buildings. Some business sectors like IT and manufacturing even have their employees working in night shifts. What we don't realize is that, in such a setup, our bodies do not get adequate dosage of sunlight. Lack of exposure to sunlight is responsible for a range of diseases and health conditions. The body requires sunlight just as much it requires food for its nourishment. Long hours of work in glazed business buildings under artificial lighting, deprive the body of this most basic need, thereby creating a deficiency of the vitamin D group. This deficiency then goes on to create several imbalances in the body, and contributes to diseases. Besides these, Vitamin D deficiency can also cause general muscle weakness, muscle and bone aches and pains and osteoporosis, due to the inability to utilize calcium. The best source of Vitamin D is natural sunshine, and that's why it is called the sunshine vitamin. Vitamin D can be had in the supplement form too, but it is still no match for natural sunlight. In a paper titled 'Vitamin D Deficiency' published in The New England Journal, M F Holick writes that, arms and legs should get exposure to sun for 10-15 minutes every day. "The amount of vitamin D produced depends on the intensity of the UVB in the sun and many other factors. Darker-skinned individuals may need 5-10 times more exposure than a fair-skinned person, in order to make the same amount of vitamin D." Tap that sunlight Early morning is the best time to get out in the sun. There's no better time to get that walk, than in the morning. Park your car a little away from the office building if possible, and walk to your office in the sun. When you take a tea break in the evening, head outside, instead of going to the in-house cafeteria.
  WOMEN`S HEALTH MORE
10 Hair secrets
Excellent exercise options during pregnancy
Pregnancy and HIVMothers with higher level of viral load have been found to deliver infected babies. However, no amount of viral load can be safe as infections can occur any time during pregnancy. A high level of precaution is necessary during this phase. Mostly infection occurs during delivery but that's not the only way through which it can spread. HIV-infected mothers should not breast-feed, as virus can transmit through breast milk too. Antiretroviral medications are used to reduce chances of transmission of HIV. Keeping delivery time shorter can reduce the risk of transmission. Most of the times babies born to positive mothers are positive for HIV. Babies infected with HIV will have antibodies made in their system and will continue to test positive. But if babies aren't infected, the mother's antibodies in baby's blood will eventually disappear and babies will test negative after about one to one and half year. HIV positive women should consider possible problems with antiretroviral medications for HIV before getting pregnant. Talk to the doctor about choice, indications, and contraindications of these drugs. There's a risk of missing doses due to nausea and vomiting during early pregnancy, hence giving HIV a chance to develop resistance. Some doctors prefer the practice of stopping or modifying medications during pregnancy to lower the risk of birth defects. Short course of treatments can help eliminate or reduce risk of transmitting HIV to a newborn; but, short treatments increase the risk of resistance to the drugs used too. There is a risk of birth defects due to antiretroviral drugs during the first 3 months of pregnancy. Pregnancy does not worsen mother's HIV disease, but any HIV positive woman planning to get pregnant should discuss treatment options thoroughly and all the pros and cons with her doctor.   
Fitness mantras during pregnancyYou must be wondering how Shilpa Shetty maintained her fitness even after bearing a child. The simple answer is that she never gave up exercising. Exercising during and after pregnancy is the best way to stay in shape and ensure your mental and physical healthiness. It also helps you in preparing for labour pain and delivery, and quick recovery postpartum. However, there are some things you need to keep in mind while exercising during pregnancy: Measure your fitness You need to determine how fit you are. This will help in determining the type and duration of exercising during pregnancy and post pregnancy. Also, before you continue your old exercise routine or begin a new one, you should talk to your doctor about exercising while you're pregnant. Pregnancy is a balancing act After the fourth month of pregnancy, it's likely you will lose balance while you exercise. Though your baby is well protected with amniotic sac, it is better to be safe than sorry. Safe exercises Activities such as swimming, walking, yoga, pilates, and low-impact aerobics are good choices. Pregnancy is not the right time to start any new intensive exercise, but it is safe to continue with most types of exercise if you're used to them. The things you should avoid Avoid exercises where you are likely to lose your balance or could make you fall or slip. Vigorous or extreme activities such as horse riding, skiing, mountain climbing are out of the question. They carry too high a risk of injury to your tummy. Avoid exercises such as: Sit-ups Standing on one leg Separating your legs widely You should also avoid most contact sports, such as football, basketball and so on. Finally, give racket sports a miss if you're not a regular player as they can be tough on your knees and ankles. Check with your doctor Consult the doctor before starting with any new or unusual exercise. Check for any complications or unusual conditions. Also, discuss for any concern such as: Pregnancy-induced high blood pressure Early contractions Vaginal bleeding Premature rupture of your membranes, also known as waters (the fluid in the amniotic sac around the fetus) breaking early The best outfit for exercise Clothes should be comfortable and loose fitting while exercising. Wear a supportive bra which protects the breasts and is also relaxing. If your shoe size has changed because of mild swelling, you may want to buy a new one. Duration of the exercise Exercising three to four times a week is necessary. This reduces stress, fights fatigue, and stabilizes emotions in early pregnancy. Start gradually, may be with only five minutes a day, if you were totally inactive before. Add five minutes each day till you reach 30 minutes. Also keep in mind to avoid exercise on an empty stomach. Eat a snack 30 minutes before exercise. Never over do Listen to your body when it says 'stop'. Over exercising causes overheating. Raising your core temperature too much can affect the baby adversely. Always sip water before, during and after exercising. Listening to your body when something hurts or doesn't feel right - that means stop. Drink a lot of water Try to drink about two glasses of water two hours before you begin exercising. Take a sports bottle of water with you when you exercise and take frequent sips from it. It's important you don't get dehydrated. This may raise your body temperature, which may not be good for you or your baby.  Keeping these points in mind, exercise to stay healthy and fit. We hope you soon give birth to a healthy kid.  
  KIDS CARE MORE
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Tips for teens to lose flab and look fab
LBW - Babies that don't throw too much weight around!You'll hear this term if your baby weighs less than 2.5 kg (5.5 lb) when born. About six in 100 babies who are born in the UK have a low birth weight. There are a number of reasons for LBW in babies, with premature birth topping the list as far as reasons go. Babies born prematurely could have extremely low birth weight as compared to babies that are born between the natural term of pregnancy, i.e., between 36-40 weeks. So what are the other reasons behind LBW babies? Descent is an important factor that could also determine birth weight. A survey conducted in the UK showed that children born to people from the Indian sub-continent (Indian, Pakistani, or Bangladeshi) or African parents are more likely to be born with LBW as compared to babies born of white Caucasians. In case of twins or triplets, there are chances that one or all offspring might have LBW due to lack of space in the womb. The mother's health would largely determine the healthy weight of the child as well. Emotional problems faced by the mother during pregnancy could have a link with LBW. Same goes for addictions like smoking, alcohol abuse, designer drugs, and at times, health conditions like high blood pressure which cuts off healthy blood supply to the fetus. Even damage to the placenta can cause LBW, as the fetus does not receive vital nutrients, blood, and oxygen which can cause stunted growth or low weight at birth. Any congenital or hereditary conditions can also affect the baby's weight. There is much uncertainty with regard to the future of a baby with low birth weight. There have been instances where LBW babies have developed conditions like obesity, diabetes, or heart disease in later years. It is a common fear that LBW babies develop behavioral or emotional problems in schooling years and they are likely to have low intelligence. Of course, there isn't any concrete evidence. The pivotal factors here would be to find the cause for LBW and what trimester of pregnancy was it detected. Providing a stable family environment and taking special care of a LBW baby can also go a long way in keeping it healthy in subsequent years. Not to forget that the parents' size and genetic predisposition would have a lot to do with the baby's health and even weight. If the parents are small in size or underweight, then the chances are that the baby will be born small or with LBW. Breastfeeding the baby is the best strategy that a mother can adopt to ensure that the baby grows up well. While growing up, the parents will have to ensure that the baby receives a balanced nutritious diet to ensure healthy weight.
Get the couch potato out to playKids in the modern day are increasingly getting lazier and unfit. Watching TV, playing games on consoles and smartphones, and spending time on social networks is eating into time which would otherwise be spent playing outdoors.The lack of exercise comes with a host of problems, which can affect kids in childhood or later on in life. Therefore, parents must encourage kids to exercise by being an example. However, do keep in mind that there is nothing that will bore a kid than treadmills or lifting weights. Playing sports is often the better way to go. Give aerobics a try Aerobic exercises can help kids to stay fit and also can be fun at the same time. The common perception is that aerobics involve dancing a set pattern. However, aerobics is any exercise that increases your oxygen intake. Outdoor activities can include basketball, cycling, soccer, swimming, tennis, walking or running Along with aerobics, children should also do stretching exercises, which help in improving flexibility, allowing muscles and joints to bend and move easily through their full range of motion. Getting your kids excited It is important, however, to communicate with your child the need to exercise. You could encourage them to take part in outdoor games at school as well as in the locality where you stay. You should regulate the number of hours your kid can spend in front of the TV or PC. This way she will look for means to play outside the house. You can also play with them yourself. It will be fun for the both of you, as well as helps you bond with your child. Exercising for at least an hour a day is ideal, and it broken down into chunks of 15 minutes at a time.  
  MENTAL HEALTH MORE
A meditation journal
8 Strategies to battle stress
What is megalomania?Bertrand Russell's quote on megalomania perfectly describes the condition:"The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history." Megalomania is a delusional bipolar disorder. The sufferer believes he is an all-powerful person and that he is superior to all other people. Megalomania comes from the Greek words megalo which means large or great and mania which means madness. It is a psychopathological disorder that has delusional fantasies of power, exaggerated self esteem and a sense of omnipotence. The sufferer may believe he is God or some famous athlete. Although megalomania is a term used for power hungry people, it is clinically described under the mental disorder of narcissism. Narcissism is self-love. Though self-love is a healthy concept, narcissism is a pathological state where one loves oneself to the extent that he starts despising others. Megalomania is caused by certain phobias and mental conditions associated with emotions and personality. In everyday life, megalomania can be a person's mental way of reacting to frustration, abandonment or some serious loss. In the social world, the term megalomaniac is often synonymous with control freaks, power-drunk army generals, executives and politicians. The treatment of megalomania includes medications. The challenge here is that the person may not believe he has anything wrong with him. He, in fact, believes that he is so great that no harm can come to him, so talking him into getting himself treated is very difficult. Adolf Hitler, the German dictator, was a power-hungry control freak. He believed that he was the supreme commander and that his race was the only race suited to inhabit earth. All other races, especially Jews, were inferior and had to be wiped off the face of the earth. Adolf Hitler was megalomaniac.
Building self confidence by improving body languageSo what have they told you? That only physically attractive people have the right to self-confidence? That you either have it in you or you don't? Let's face it, confidence is the key to anything and everything. Right from driving a car to handling work to dating, confidence is what separates the proverbial wheat from the chaff. What you need to remember is that the mind speaks the body language. Conversely if you change your body language, then it has an impact on the mind as well. Mr.Hunched Over This guy is the classic example of a person who just doesn't like himself. The world is a mighty dangerous place for him. Just look at the way he walks. Shoulders all hunched over, head down as he shuffles rather than walk. Mr. Hunched Over generally finds it difficult to look people in the eye as he speaks and he last is handshake is as limp as his mind. He crosses his arms tightly, touches his nose all the time to see if it has grown since he lied through it. Mr. Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk This chap is diametrically the opposite of the first kind. He exudes an air of confidence in his walk, manner and speech. He has a confident stride which is helped by the fact that he stands to his height with his head held high, chin tucked in and shoulders squared back. This is what gives him the confidence as this posture is designed for efficiency. Mind you, he isn't ram rod straight, just straight enough so that his ears are in line with his shoulders and hips. The chest is also out since the shoulders are drawn back towards the hip. This facilitates deep, even and diaphragmatic breathing which prevents anxiety. His hand shake is firm. As he offers his hand, he exerts just the right pressure on the other person's hand to indicate a strong grip. This is no wrestling bout, so the confident man always exerts just the right kind of pressure in a hand shake.  He maintains eye contact with the person he is talking to; not a staring about, but normal eye contact, one which won't make the other person conscious of being stared at. He looks away from time to time to give his eyeballs a rest. This is why he comes across as genuine and not shift eyed and restless. To be Mr.-Or- Ms. Walk the Walk Always square your shoulders and keep your head held high when you walk. You might seem imperious or high handed at first, but then it will work wonders on your self-esteem and you will begin to feel differently about yourself. You needn't even be a tall person to come across as cool and confident-just stand up to your own height and see the miracle. Breathe slowly steadily and deeply. Use your abdominal muscles to draw in your breath rather than engaging your neck muscles which end up making you a shallow breather and plus you also tend to hunch easily if you don't feel your rib cage and stomach expand as you breathe in. Practice standing and speaking in front of the mirror. It will show you exactly how you appear to others. Practice your walk in front of a video camera and keep a record of your metamorphosis.
  BEAUTY AND FITNESS MORE
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5 cardinal sins for the skinWhile cigarettes may not constitute food in the strictest sense, it does have a profound effect on skin complexion, health, color and tone. We eat that we may live, but sometimes we eat way too much and consume stuff that may be extremely hazardous to our health. Since we are talking about skin, here are 5 most hazardous foods for your skin: Grease adds to the crease Since healthy skin is all about healthy blood circulation, any food which is likely to clog up the blood vessels internally is deemed bad for skin tone. Packaged snacks like potato chips may have edible oil written in bold but this contributes significantly to the slowing down of 'collagen and elastin syntheses' which in turn causes the skin to appear aged and all wrinkly. The french fries that we consume as a TV snack can also cause an acne outbreak on the skin and face. Gluten Glutton Gluten is a substance found in wheat and other food grains. We may not even be aware that some of the food grains have gluten as a main constituent. Gluten intolerance can also cause inflammations on the skin in the form of rashes or acne. Bad news is that the pizzas, pastas, cakes and bread that we get off the rack may be heavy in gluten (Surprised that they don't say that on the pack) and that may be the reason for you to lose precious skin tone. So seek gluten free foods, though that might not be the easiest of tasks, but for your skin, it certainly will be worth it. Caffeine - the skin coffin If you are one of those coffee addicts then you may as well write an obituary column lamenting the loss of your skin tone and complexion. It's not without reason that health freaks love bashing coffee beans and caffeine rich beverages, as they are truly hazardous. How? Studies have proven that just 2-3 cups stimulate pituitary-adrenocortical response. Yes, but what does that have to do with your skin? Well this leads to the hormone cortisol to increase in our bodies. Cortisol is known as the stress hormone! So now here's what it does to your skin -it accelerates the ageing process which means wrinkled skin and causes dehydration causing the skin to show an unusual pallor. So before you turn the coffee faucet on think twice. Fad to Black How fad diets are not skin friendly? Some people go on a high protein, low-carb diet which could sound the death knell as far as complexion goes. Dieting depletes calcium levels, which means your bones are going to suffer and what's the point of having skin on bad bone density? Besides low-carb diets can utterly wreck the complexion as the delicate PH balance in the skin is ruined. Some of the meat, poultry and dairy products too can have artificial chemicals injected in them which cause a hormonal imbalance in our bodies leading to skin disasters. Fruits and vegetables have chemicals injected too sometimes! Beware! Cereal Killers Cereal killers are those people who ignore the need of a proper diet for skin health. So anybody who indulges in too much sugar, caffeine and greasy food stuffs is a 'Cereal Killer' A lack of cereals in the diet can literally kill your skin. Cereal foods have high fiber and antioxidants for moisturizing the skin and protecting it from skin damage. For great skin other than cereals which are simply fabulous for keeping skin hydrated and breathing easily, one can eat fruits, olive oil, healthy fats, almonds, tofu, grains, nuts and the good old vitamin B rich products. Ceramides in raw food diets, organic foods, wheat germ and brown rice protect the epidermis of the skin and make it impervious to external attacks and pollutants while maintaining their tone and beauty.
Diet to help manage stressYou cannot avoid stress, as it has now become an integral part of modern lifestyle. Children are worried about their exams and performances in the cultural events, teenagers are stressed out about their looks and body shape, adults take stress owing to competition at work, and so on. One thing is sure that you cannot stay away from stress. So, how can you avoid the side effects caused due to stress? You can include certain foods in your diet that help manage your level of stress. Researchers are already on to it, studying the effects of various foods on the stress levels. It is always better to choose from the organically harvested nuts, veggies, fruits, and fish for better health benefits. Nori Sushi nori is a type of seaweed that is rich in magnesium that contains anxiety-fighting properties. Magnesium is also known for stress reducing abilities. Apart from this, it also carries other essential health nutrients that are necessary for the overall development of health. Vitamin C Foods Cantaloupe is composed of vitamin C that is a renowned stress buster. Another great stress busting food is orange. When you are under stress, adrenal glands in your body start producing cortisol that lowers your immune system's capacity. This leads to breaking down of muscle tissue. Vitamin C in oranges have the ability to return the high blood pressure to normal level. Moreover, when you are stressed there are chances of this vitamin getting used up and hence the need to increase your intake of vitamin C rich foods. Another popular vitamin C enriched food is blueberries that are also packed with lots of antioxidants which relieve stress. Almonds Almond is a treasure trove of essential nutrients such as vitamin E, B2, zinc, and magnesium. Although they are high in fat, they provide your body with all these essential nutrients. You can easily have a handful of almonds every day and still feel less guilty about.  Apart from the fat, energy, and the essential nutrients, almonds give the brain and its memory a shot in the arm. Broccoli Broccoli is rich in vitamin B and folic acid, both proven stress busters that helps in giving you relief from panic, anxiety, stress, and depression. Bananas Bananas contain one of the most important amino acids - tryptophan that gets transformed into serotonin which is a stress-busting hormone that is known to induce a feeling of well being. This makes you happier and gives you relief from stress. Banana is also rich in potassium. Potassium regulates the heart due to which the blood pressure can be kept under control. That is why many health experts recommend inclusion of a potassium-rich diet, as it normalizes your heart rate and help you calm down in stressful situations. This makes banana an essential food addition to your diet. Chocolate The dark chocolates are bitter and give you a feeling of satiation despite the little amount you devour. Due to this feeling, you eat less, but you still enjoy the flavor of the chocolate, much more than the milk chocolate varieties. When you are under stress, most of your body organs are vulnerable to damage. The antioxidants polyphenols that are present in the dark chocolate slow down the damage and also contribute in its repair. Studies have also revealed that 40 grams of dark chocolate per day helps reduce stress-causing hormones such as catecholamine and cortisol. Increasing the intake of stress busting foods in your daily diet can help control diabetes and hypertension.
  LIFESTYLE PROBLEMS MORE
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Detox your liver
All you need to know about angioplasty!Why would you need coronary angioplasty? The walls of the arteries are being constantly lined with a fatty material called plaque. This plaque increases in certain conditions like atherosclerosis. When the build-up is too high, the artery gets blocked and the subsequent tissue receives very less or no blood, causing it to die. The plaque at times may be dissolved by medicines but if it is too big, medicines prove ineffective. This is manifested outwardly as a heart attack. This is the time when the doctor would recommend the coronary angioplasty as a treatment for you. How is it done? A thin catheter with a deflated tiny balloon at one end is inserted into the affected artery. Once the exact location of plaque build-up is reached, the balloon is inflated causing the plaque to get pushed against the artery wall and creating free space for the blood to flow. A small mesh called a stent may be placed to hold the artery in place. Some stents are coated with medicines that prevent the scar tissue formation following the angioplasty procedure. The procedure may be done as an emergency or it may be planned. If it is a planned procedure: You will have to get hospitalized and stop eating or drinking 6 to 8 hrs before the procedure. Once the procedure is done, the doctor would prefer you staying in the hospital overnight to watch for any adverse events that may happen. What happens after the surgery? The surgery lasts for 1 to 2 hours and you would be allowed to go home the next day. You will be advised not to undergo vigorous and strenuous exercises and to rest adequately. Most people are fit to return to work a week after the surgery.
Treating sore throatTest and diagnosisPatients with sore throat are examined by ENT specialists. At first, the doctor performs a local examination of throat. Clinical examination usually guides the doctor towards diagnosis. Although in order to confirm the diagnosis, the doctor may ask for culture and sensitivity test of the throat swab. Treatment Home remedies: Mild cases of sore throat are usually cured by home remedies. Following remedial measures can be adopted at home: Warm saline gargle – Gargle with warm saline water helps to relieve the discomfort and irritation of the throat. Half to one teaspoonful of salt is added to one full glass of warm water and the patient is advised to gargle. This process may be repeated 3 to 4 times a day to have a soothing effect on throat. Additionally, smoking and use of other tobacco products must be avoided. The patient must drink adequate amount of fluids. Warm liquid and semi-solid food must be consumed to provide a soothing effect on the throat. Cough lozenges to help relieve irritation and pain in the throat. Seeking advice of the doctor: If the signs and symptoms persist and are not adequately controlled by home remedies, the patient must seek advice of a specialist doctor. Viral infections usually do not require treatment. They are usually cured in 5 to 7 days. Bacterial infections require treatment as per the advice of a specialist doctor. Bacterial infections may require treatment by antibiotics. The treating doctor selects an antibiotic which is suitable for the patient depending on factors such as the age of the patient, report of the culture and sensitivity of throat swab, previous drug history of the patient, etc. Antibiotics usually effective in bacterial infection with sore throat are from the group of penicillins, cephalosporins, and macrolides. PreventionViral and bacterial infections are contagious. Good hygienic lifestyle and habits help prevent infections. Following things to be noted are: Frequent and thorough hand washes before consumption of food, after using toilet, and after sneezing and coughing. Use of a hand sanitizer during consumption of food outside home. Avoid sharing food and drinks from same glasses and utensils. Use a tissue paper or handkerchief while sneezing and coughing. Avoid close contact with patients with sore throat. If sore throat develops, few home remedies may prove to be curative. If sore throat persists, advice of a specialist doctor must be sought.
  Sexual Health MORE
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7 Tips for choosing contraception
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
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