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Self grooming tips for men Get rid of unnecessary body hair:Hair on your ears, back, underarms, or uni-brows does not appeal at all. If you have them, then try and get a hair removing gel or wax away gently. Nose hairs can be trimmed from time to time, so that it's not visible. Hair in the underarms can either be waxed, or removed by using a razor. Hair on the back can also be removed through proper waxing. Shave properly:Keep a beard if it suits you, but do trim it regularly. If you do not want a beard, but just a moustache, then that requires customary trims as well. Try and keep yourself clean shaven, if you can't easily manage the styles mentioned above. Avoid bad breath:Bad breath can really get you into trouble, especially during office presentations, client meetings, or even at a date with your girlfriend. Use mouth washes to avoid this problem, and floss after every meal. Mouth fresheners can also come handy, so maintain a regular stock at all times. Brush regularly:Maintain a brush and floss routine twice a day to avoid awkward situations. Cut and clean your nails:Long nails look great on girls, but they are a big turn off in guys. Men need to keep their nails small and trimmed always. Use nail clippers to cut them properly, and cleaners to keep them clean. Take care of your skin:Buy a good sun care and moisturising lotion, and use it always, after a face wash and shower. This shall give you a nice glowing skin. Exercise regularly:A good body can attract everybody's attention. Eat healthy food and exercise regularly to be active and healthy. Get rid of body odour:Instead of colognes, try using deodorants and talcum powders to get rid of body odour. For underarms, always keep a roll-on with you, and apply it regularly. If the issue persists, then consult a doctor for help. Wear well fitting clothes:Wearing unfit or loose clothes will make you look older than you are. Hence, wear clothes which fit you the best. Correct your posture:While standing, walking, and even sitting, keep a straight back. This shall give u a better posture. You will look more pleasing and charming. Grooming is not just a thing for women. It is all about looking after yourself. So, read on to know some self grooming tips for men These were a few tips which can help you look after yourself better, and also give you that much needed edge over others. So, try them out right away!
Honeymoon cystitisHoneymoon cystitis is a term for urinary tract infections that occur commonly during early marriage. Sexual intercourse is the primary reason for developing this infection. The infection occurs when the E. coli bacteria that are normally present in the bowel are introduced into the urethra. This may happen through sexual intercourse, inserting unclean fingers or objects into the vagina. Women who wash their private parts from the back to front also have an increased chance of developing infection. Symptoms of honeymoon cystitis may include a burning or painful sensation during urination, the urge to urinate frequently, cloudy urine, blood-tinged urine, and/or pain above the pubic bone. Any of these is enough o play a spoilsport and dampen your honeymoon mood! Symptoms of honeymoon cystitis generally emerge within a day or two after bacteria are introduced into the urethra. A physician can confirm the diagnosis of infection through a simple urine test. The treatment usually involves antibiotics and pain-killers. What care should you take to avoid honeymoon cystitis from recurring? Use water based lubricant during sexual intercourse Urinate before and immediately after intercourse to flush out the bacteria from the urethra. Drink plenty of water to keep the urine normal Avoid coffee, tea and aerated drinks See a gynaecologist or a urologist if the problem recurs.  Urinary tract infections are extremely common in women and are the leading cause for visits to the doctor.
Pregnancy myths bustedChances of getting pregnant each month gets increased by 50% in the women of the age of early 20's: This not right, for a women to get pregnant is not easy. When a woman is below 25 the chances of hitting baby bingo are only 20 to 25 %, while the women above 35 years of age the chances are 15%.   The baby's gender could be understood by the shape and size of the belly. It is believed that woman carrying a girl has high belly: False again. The shape of belly depends on original shape of the abdomen, amount and the distribution of the fat, strength of the abdominal muscles, the number of babies conceived and the position of the baby... but in no way possible can the shape or size of a belly give away the sex of the baby inside.   The best fertility lubricant to be used for conceiving is saliva: This is totally wrong, actually saliva is the sperm killer, most of the lubricants and massage oil are also not good for fertility, so it is better to go without using any lubricant.   Sperm production is impaired by laptops: This is true. Heat is not good for male fertility when laptops are used on laps they may generate heat and affect the fertility. So it is good to use the laptops as desktops.   The conceiving period of most of the couples is 3 months: This is not right, most of the couples take about 6 - 12 months of active efforts to conceive if they are not having any fertility problems.   There are more chances of conceiving, if you do more sex on the fertile days: This is true, the man having normal sperm count to have sex during her partners fertile days is good for conception. Having everyday sex was suggested in earlier days but anything which is done in excess is always more.   The egg can be fertilized within two days after it is released: This not true, an egg has the shelf life of only 12 to 24 hour, and the sperm have to meet with egg within that time, though it has the shelf life of 3 days or more.   Position during conception matters: This is not true, the sperms which are healthy are good swimmers, they can make you pregnant in any condition.   Eating oysters is good for getting pregnant: This is true, oysters are the good source of zinc, which is the most fertile mineral, it is also a good booster for libido, it can be used by both sexes.   Having cough medicine is good for getting pregnant: This is true, cough expectorants loosens up the cervical mucus as it does with the mucus in the chest, and the looser cervical mucus gives the sperm an easier and faster way to get pregnant. But some cough medicines contains an antihistamine that dries up all the mucus, which makes for a difficult swim for the sperms.   The sex of the baby is known by the glow on the face of the mother: This is not true, as the morning sickness of the mother is stopped, she starts eating well, the blood circulation also improves and in general the mother feels good, which gives the glow on the face. There is no relation between the glow on face and delivery of a baby.   The baby having lots of hair causes heartburn to their mother: Completely false, heartburn is the common complaint of the mother during pregnancy, this is due to reflux in oesophagus, in this the food particles come up through the food pipe and due to its acidic nature it causes heart burn. There is no relation between baby having lots of hair and heartburn.   The food intake of the pregnant woman should be doubled, for baby and the mother: This is not true, the pregnant woman, should take a balanced nutritious diets containing ample of proteins, vitamins, and minerals, small meals should eaten for every two hours rather than eating only 3 times the bulky meals.   Labor can be induced having sex during pregnancy: Not true, if the woman is physically fit during pregnancy can have sex as advised by the doctor only the position during sex should be taken care of, it should not cause discomfort to the woman.   Regular breastfeeding is a barrier for getting pregnant: Again a myth, the women can get pregnant even in the lactational ammenorrhea before the first menstrual cycle. You should always use contraception to avoid pregnancy.   Using computer during pregnancy can harm baby: This is not true, there may be backache if you continuously work for a long time on computer, but there is no direct effect of computer on the baby.   Source: What to Expect Before You're Expecting
16 myths about baby careA new mother experiences a range of emotions. Chief among these is fear, which is a result of the love and attachment that she feels for the baby. In such situations, mothers often tend to believe myths that make no logical or medical sense. Myth 1: If I don't breastfeed my baby immediately after the birth, I won't be able to bond with him adequately. Fact: Although the first few hours of a baby's life are important for both mother and child, sometimes due to unavoidable circumstances, the baby is kept away from the mother. For instance, in cases of cesarean delivery, the new born babies need immediate medical attention, and hence are kept away from the mothers.  However, the love and care you show the child over the years will more than make up for the loss of attachment with the baby during its first few hours. Myth 2: Pinching the baby's nose will make it pointed. Fact: Pinching the nose will only hurt the baby. It will not make the nose pointed. It is possible for a baby to be born with a flat or tilted nose if it gets pressed during delivery. But this is temporary and the nose becomes normal as the nasal bridge develops completely. Myth 3: Mothers should not use yellow clothes and yellow food while breastfeeding as it causes jaundice in the newborn.  Fact: The color of the mother's clothes can't affect the baby's health. There isn't any evidence to show the relationship between yellow food, clothes and jaundice. Myth 4: Umbilical cord stump should be cleaned with alcohol swab every time after changing diaper.  Fact: Alcohol may delay the healing. It is recommended to keep stump clean and dry till it falls off. Myth 5: Some babies can be allergic to mother's milk.  Fact: No. A baby is never allergic to mother's milk. Myth 6: Baby should be wrapped up tightly. This helps to straighten the hands and feet.  Fact: A child's limbs develop faster when they are free to move and not wrapped. Myth 7: Holding the baby all the time will spoil him. Fact: Babies cry to express pain, anger, irritability, hunger, sleep everything. Holding or picking him up to comfort won't make him a spoiled child. Myth 8: Do not take your newborn baby outside. Always keep him in the house.  Fact: Fresh air is good for the baby too. Just avoid heat, crowds and unhygienic places. Myth 9: Vaccines cause autism. Do not vaccinate the baby.  Fact: It is a rumor. Immunization is very important to protect the baby against a number of diseases. Myth 10: Babies do not spit up if they are breastfed.  Fact: It is normal for the babies to burp, spit up, and drool. Do not worry about it if the baby is gaining weight normally. Myth 11: Sleeping on the head causes flat head.  Fact: It is advised medically that all babies should sleep on the back to prevent sudden infant death syndrome. Alternate the head position daily as flat head can be caused only if baby sleeps in same position daily for long time. It is an occasional occurrence.  Myth 12: Putting few drops of oil in baby's ears will keep it clean.  Fact: Do not put oil in the baby's ears. It can hurt the tiny eardrums leading to pain, soreness, and even hearing loss. Oil can cause ear infection too. Myth 13: Use crib bumpers to protect head of your baby. Fact: They are not advisable. The baby's head can get wedged against a bumper causing strangulation or suffocation. Bumpers are dangerous. Myth 14: Stop mother's milk if baby fed only on breast milk has loose motions.  Fact: Passing 5-6 loose motions is normal in a baby. Continue to breastfeed. Do not stop it. Myth 15: Attention span is very short in babies.  Fact: Babies, in fact, have excellent attention spans and have interest in the all things around them. This is why babies learn things so quickly.  Myth 16: Wrap up the baby in blanket if he has fever. Sweating will bring the fever down.  Fact: The fever will rise if you wrap the baby in a blanket. Try to keep the child cool and sponge him with cold/warm water to bring down the fever with the doctor's advice.    
Anger management for your teenaged daughter - Handling difficult teenage times If one fine day you find your daughter suddenly reacting differently to a particular situation, do not be surprised, especially if she is in her teens. The outburst is beyond her control and she herself is confused by her own behavior, at times. It's important rather than scolding her for her misbehavior, one must wait for her to calm down and then speak to her regarding the incident when she is in a jolly mood. It is impossible to forgive such behavior if it repeats regularly, though. Here are some ways to deal with your daughter if she strays the limits of accepted norm for a behavior. You can seek the help of a counselor and understand why this is happening and solve her queries so that she could handle them better in the future. Why do Teenage Girls Lose Temper?By the time, the girls enter their teens they would have become aware about the social etiquettes, importance of looks, acting in an acceptable manner in social scenarios and creating a 'cool' image about themselves when they are outside their homes. So, even if they are hurt, or are angry at something, they do not let it go public, lest their 'cool' image gets shattered. However, the same anger becomes bottled up and vents itself out when they reach home. It's much like the workplace anger showing up at home. This is the place where they can behave wildly and still expect forgiveness. However, that does not mean that you should let your daughter get away with such kind of madness. After she has cooled down, you need to talk to her to find out what is bothering her or making her behave in such a manner. Probably, she may not accept that she has a problem, but you will have to find a way to reach to the root of the issue. More often girls want to be like someone in their college or peer group. They want to fit into a particular group and being unable to do so makes them nervous and distraught. Teach your daughter to believe in herself. Make her understand that she is a unique person on her own and do not need to convert herself into someone else. It may take consistent effort on your part to imbibe all these things into her mind, but you have to work hard to make her understand. Self-Control is the KeyMany young girls do not know how to solve a particular problem when they are faced with it. Apart from taking her to a good counselor, you can discuss problem solving techniques with her. Ask her to understand the situation first, put a foot backwards, relax, and then find a solution to the problem. This habit will make her probe into the problem in a better way and she will be able to handle similar situations when they occur again. You can ask her to write down the problems that are bothering her and ponder over them. You can assist her initially, but as she matures she will find her own solutions depending on her past experiences. Adolescent girls have sometimes trouble keeping their anger, rage, and fear under control and hence their problems should be handled patiently. Brainstorming SolutionsOnce she has ripped apart every aspect of the problem and has come to a brainstorming solution, advise her to write down the plan of action. For example, if she is disturbed due to a particular teacher who does not seem to like her grades, she may do well seeking help through friends who are better in that subject, or for that matter, a bad remark by someone in a group might unsettle her, thereby venting her anger at home. With restraint on your part, make her understand that anger will only block her process to think or find a solution. If you teach her to find answers for the problems in a calm manner, your teenage daughter will surely learn to control her anger and behave normally as she grows into an adult.
Boost your mood after a long day at workUp before the sun rise, rush to get ready, say hurried goodbyes to the family and crawl like a tortoise through traffic to get to work. Go through a long day of meetings, calls, deadlines, reviews, and then crawl back again through traffic at a snail's pace. Does this sound like a day out of your life? Then surely, weekends go by faster for you than you can say lickety-split, leaving with no time for yourself, your family or your hobbies. Social life is definitely a far cry from possible. This rigorous schedule eventually catches up with the mind and body and lethargy sets in, discouraging any sort of activity that breaks the monotony of day-to-day life. Is there no escape from this? Yes, there is. At the end of the day, when your mind is tired, you do not feel like taking anything more than you already have on your plate. Only the warmth of your bed allures you. However, if you were feeling fresh and enthusiastic, surely, you'd be ready to do a lot more - move mountains or at least drive to meet friends, anyway. An energetic life full of happy times with families without the constant desire of solitude after a long day's work is what you seek, then try these mood boosters to uplift your mood and get your feet tapping right away! The Aroma of Good Mood:Scents play a great role in the way we feel. They have the power to turn the mood around completely. Light a few scented candles or set up an oil diffuse of your favorite oil and you will feel lighter and De-stressed soon enough. You can also mix a few drops of rosemary and bergamot to create an energizing and refreshing infusion. Walk it Off:Most of us work in functional buildings in temperature-controlled environments. The lack of windows makes natural light and ventilation scarce and aids the buildup of gloom and tiredness. A good way to turn the mood around is to walk it off. A short walk around the block or in the building compound can bring you back in touch with nature. If you are lucky to be living in a green community, you have the added benefit of watching the trees and bird life in them. The exercise also helps release hormones in the body that uplift your mood immediately. A Good Deed Begets Good Mood:Giving is the greatest joy! So perform a good deed - if you see someone who needs help on the way back from work, stop for a few moments and help them. Or simply help your spouse, children, parents or neighbor out. And voila! You will find yourself feeling a lot better than how you did when you entered the house. Clear the Clutter:Organizing things and creating neat, clean spaces is a great mood booster. As you clean the clutter, you will find the clutter of thoughts in your head also clearing. Neat, well-kept spaces invite good vibes and energies, which again makes you feel better in turn. Petting a Furry Friend:Petting a dog for even 15 minutes releases the feel good, happy hormones. It does wonders for the stress level too. So the next time your furry friend comes rushing to the door, to welcome you back home, take time to give it some love. The Human Touch:We spend 10-12 hours a day away from our family and familiar touch. The human touch releases uplifting hormones such as serotonin and reduces heart rate and blood pressure making you relaxed. So when you get home, remember; a nice warm hug to your spouse or children will make you both feel better.Remember you work to live and not the other way. So when you get home from a long, tiring day, just boost your mood so you can thoroughly enjoy life with your family!
21 foods for a healthy heartFollowing is a list of heart-healthy food substances: Garlic: Did you ever think that the commonly available garlic in your kitchen can be heart healthy? It may be smelly for some, but for the heart it is a soothing substance. Garlic is known to control blood pressure, serum triglyceride level & cholesterol level. Carrot: Carrots, though taste sweet, have the ability to control blood sugar levels because of high level of antioxidants in them. So include carrots in your diet, especially in salads. Orange: This juicy fruit has cholesterol-lowering ability because of fibre pectin in it and also helps control blood pressure. Almonds: Though all nuts are believed to be nutritious, almonds are considered to be heart healthy. Almonds are rich in vitamin E, calcium, plant sterols, fibre and antioxidants. Almonds help in lowering LDL cholesterol and reducing risk of diabetes. Walnuts: Walnuts are rich in omega 3 fatty acids, monounsaturated fats which help in lowering cholesterol levels.  Oatmeal: Oats are very healthy & help in lowering the bad LDL cholesterol. You can have one bowl of oatmeal mixed in milk along with nuts as breakfast. Flaxseed: This honey coloured shiny seeds contain substances which are heart healthy, such as lignans, ALA and omega 3 fatty acids. It helps in lowering cholesterol level and controlling diabetes. Tofu: It is a type of soybean protein which can be replaced with paneer. Tofu is rich in fibre and polyunsaturated fats which prevent clogging of arteries.  Barley: The fibre in barley is believed to lower cholesterol and blood glucose levels.  Tuna fish: Tuna fish is rich in omega 3 fatty acids which helps in lowering cholesterol levels.  Salmon: It is very good for heart as it is rich in omega 3, EPA and DHA. It lowers and reduces the risk of inflammation in arteries. It is also believed to maintain the ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol. Red wine: Red wine contains catechins and resveratrol, good for heart health.  Black beans: They are a rich source of magnesium which helps in lowering blood pressure. It also contains folate, antioxidants and fibre which is helpful in controlling blood sugar and cholesterol levels. Fresh herbs: If you are hypertensive and want to control your salt intake then try using fresh herbs as a substitute for salt. It also contains antioxidants which are good for heart. Herbs include rosemary, sage, oregano and thyme. Extra virgin olive oil: This is rich in heart-healthy polyphenols & monounsaturated fats. As it's very costly you can use it as a topping for bread or salad. Sweet potatoes: White potatoes are believed to increase glycemic index so you can replace them with sweet potatoes. It is heart healthy as it has low glycemic index and also contains fibre, vitamin A and lycopene. Low fat yoghurt: You can include this in your breakfast safely as it contains calcium & potassium which helps in lowering blood pressure. Dried cherries: They are rich in anthocyanins and antioxidants which help in neutralizing the action of enzymes which cause plaque formation. In winter you should opt for strawberries, blueberries for a healthy heart. Cayenne chili pepper: Your blood sugar normally increases post a meal. By sprinkling cayenne chili pepper over your food can help preventing insulin level spike post meals. Hot cocoa: Coffee helps in patients with type 2 diabetes. Hot cocoa contains antioxidants helpful for heart. Kosher salt:  This is very beneficial for heart patients as it contains half the amount of sodium as compared to table salt and thus helps in controlling high blood pressure.
Have that chocolate without any guiltYou may find this hard to believe, but chocolate is actually good for your health. Hold on, before you faint. Let's first get to the crux of the matter. Chocolate can actually be good for you if you eat it in moderate quantities. So what about all the bad effects of chocolate that people always talk about? Let's fume them all one by one:  Chocolate causes dental caries: Dear mummy, dental caries (cavities) are caused due to poor oral hygiene and consumption of foods rich in fermentable carbohydrates. When these carbohydrates are left in the tooth for a long time, they release an acid. This may damage the tooth enamel and cause tooth decay. In fact, chocolate contains tannin which actually prevents cavities from forming. So next time, dear mommies, let your child enjoy a small piece of chocolate. You can also join them in the treat.  Chocolate is loaded with fats and sugar:Yes, chocolate comprises of both saturated and unsaturated fats, but a majority of themare in the form of oleic acid and stearic acid. Now, oleic acid (present in olives) and stearic acid are good to lower the blood cholesterol levels. Also, the fat that is found in chocolate is added later, after the chocolate has been processed. So the higher content of cocoa in any bar ensures that there is less fat in the chocolate. So, what about the sugar?Sugar is bad, but the darker variety of chocolate has less sugar compared to the regular sweet chocolate. Dark means higher cocoa content and hence no room for other fillers likes cocoa butter, sugar, nuts, etc.  Chocolate contains no nutrients: On the contrary, it is rich in antioxidants.What is the work of an antioxidant? They scavenge the body of free radicals, which roam in body and cause ageing and diseases. Antioxidant flushes these free radicals out of your body. So, if you want to stay young, bite on a piece of chocolate once a week. Secondly, diets rich in antioxidants have been proven to lower the incidences of heart attacks, strokes, cardiovascular diseases, hyperlipidemia, and arthritis. Hence, I stand by the bar full of antioxidants;it's actually good for you.  Chocolate contains caffeine: Caffeine content in chocolatesis low as compared to your tea, coffee, or cola drinks. Now, having counted the amazing health benefits of chocolate, it is important to tell you which chocolate is healthy for you. The one which is in its purest form - thebittersweet one, which is high in cocoa content, is the clue to your healthy bar. So next time you crave a dessert, indulge in a small piece of chocolate to satisfy your sweet tooth and forget that guilt.  
A guide to earwax impactionBiologically, the earwax which builds up over time moves through the ear canal from movement caused by chewing or other jaw motions. It is also extricated through the inside-out motion of the skin of the ear canal - it reaches the outer ear and peels away. The cerumen is produced in the outer regions of the ear and not in the inner recesses. Earwax impaction refers to the condition where the ear wax builds up to such an extent or in such a manner that it causes discomfort to the entire body. In many cases, earwax impaction occurs when patients use cotton swabs or safety pins to clean their ears, only causing the wax to drop deeper into the ears. The main symptoms of earwax impaction include difficulty in hearing, faintness, ache in the ear, foul smell in the ear region, ringing or sound in the ear (also known as tinnitus), a sensation of fullness in the ear, and lastly, discharge from the affected ear. The most vulnerable groups for this condition include those who use hearing aids or ear plugs, elderly people, and those who insert cotton swabs or other items into their ears, as well as those who have an odd ear shape which could negatively affect the discharge of the earwax and those suffering from development incapacities. Did you know that one of the most common methods used by people to clear excessive earwax is ear candling where a candle (in shape of a cone) is placed inside the ear canal and set alight to warm up and remove the wax? This is one of the most dangerous methods causing burns, worsened blocks, and damaged eardrums; this should be clearly avoided. The diagnosis of this condition can be done by an ear specialist using an instrument called otoscope. Earwax impaction is treated in many ways. While at home, you could try to clean the outer region of the ear by wiping with a cloth, the physician could irrigate or syringe the ear to wash out the ear canal with saline. This procedure is generally done once the wax has been softened by the use of cerumenolytic solutions aimed at dissolving the wax like mineral oil, peroxide-based ear drops, and hydrogen peroxide. Physicians also use special instruments to remove the built-up earwax like forceps, cerumen spoon, and suction tool. The best way to prevent cerumen impaction is by not inserting anything into the ears to clean it up. Cotton swabs should only be used in the outer part of the ear. In case you feel that the buildup is regular, then you can fix an annual appointment with your physician for cerumen removal.
Smoking causes impotence!Men who smoke heavily are twice as likely to suffer from impotence or erectile dysfunction. The link between smoking and ED has been established beyond reasonable doubt. Smoking causes a hardening of the arteries or blood vessels. For a penis to grow erect or tumescent there has to be a healthy blood supply. Now imagine the cross-section of a smoker's penis where there are plenty of blockages and hardening of the blood vessels. Can the penis then grow erect with so many hindrances to the blood? There is also an acute loss of sensitivity to the penis which is a direct contribution of smoking! Previously, alcohol was a hot favorite of the medical lobby when it came to 'impotence.' Wish smokers could say the same thing about moderate smoking! Even moderate smoking can make an existing condition of impotence worse. One could make changes to one's lifestyle and diet and curb stress to treat ED (erectile dysfunction), but all these will come to naught unless one really resolves to give up smoking permanently. Just within a few hours of kicking the butt, the body starts to repair itself. Of course, it may take longer for the blood vessels to actually undo the blockages and have a free run for the penis, but it will certainly happen, slowly and surely. Smokers may have an underlying condition of anxiety, which is made worse by nicotine, which in turn causes performance anxiety, not greatly helped by blocked blood arteries. So smoking not just makes you physically impotent, but also mentally impotent too. It is a powerful narcotic which is hateful to the body and spiteful to its salubrity. Please enroll into a 'stop smoking now' campaign with the help of friends or family. Check for any 'nicotine anonymous' programs in your neighborhood or just do it all by yourself. Otherwise, the only thing hard about your penis will be hardened arteries and lots of hard luck!
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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