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Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Even women can kick up a storm - Martial arts and the modern womanMartial arts! Yup you have seen enough of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet-Li films on the telly to know there is a lot of hard work involved. All that glass breaking, torso-twisting, nun chucks, whirling to kicking ten opponents at once. Is that all for real? Can a dainty woman go about hurling armed robbers off their shoulders? Or does that happen only in Kung Fu films with real weird names like 'Shaolin Temple Monks down ....' or something equally corny. That apart! Won't you need to learn a bit of Chinese or Japanese to even imitate those shrieks that women in those films emit? Worse still! Imagine they will need sub-titles to even know that you mean business! Jokes apart and no offense to the masters of Muay Thai, Akido and Tae Kwon Do! Martial arts is way beyond just fighting and is in fact a great way of disciplining the body, mind and soul. As a woman too martial arts can have a tremendous impact on your self confidence and awareness about dynamics of the mind. True what they show in martial arts film is all about smashing bones and tables but martial arts goes way beyond that. Through different movements, kicks and punches and holds one may learn to overpower an opponent using his own weight, but martial arts is ALL ABOUT CONQUERING THE SELF AND DESTROYING THE ENEMY WITHIN! So if you are intent on learning martial arts be ready for some action-packed exercise routines that Promote flexibility Increase strength, stamina and endurance Help you gain better control over yourself Help you deal with any problem that life may throw your way Help you be competitive and assertive There are different types of martial arts which have evolved over several centuries. The main forms are Kung-Fu, Karate, Akaido, Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Kalayraipatu amongst others. There is also centuries of philosophies behind the exercises recommended by these disciplines. Some martial arts concentrate only on unarmed combat while there are others which blend both armed combat with weapons like swords, sticks and nun chucks. Martial arts can indeed go a long way today in equipping women with the art of warfare so that they can defend themselves against any assailant armed or unarmed. It will go a long way in shaping societies and culture if the womenfolk are empowered both physically and mentally too. These days it is not uncommon to see martial arts blended with aerobics dance steps. It may not exactly be pure martial arts but that too isn't a bad idea at all. It will only go a long way in developing interest in these ancient art forms and help in their promotion. Just as much as any martial arts movie can. Or maybe even more!
A correctable disfigurement of face: Cleft lip and palateThe Times of India reports that "With an incidence of 7 per 1000 children, cleft lip and palate deformity is one of the most common deformities among Indian children." The number of infants born every year with cleft lip and cleft palate in India is 28,600. This means 78 affected infants are born every day or 3 infants with clefts are born every hour. Cleft lip and palate develop early in pregnancy where lack of adequate amounts of tissues lead to two parts of the face failing to join adequately at the middle. A cleft lip or hare lip (as it is commonly called) refers to separation of the two sides of the upper lip. There appears a narrow opening or gap over the skin of the upper lip. This separation may sometimes extend beyond the base of the nose and may involve the upper gum and/or the bones of the upper jaw. A cleft palate refers to the gap between the two edges of the roof of the mouth, causing it to remain open at birth. The bony front portion of the roof of the mouth or the hard palate may be involved alone, or along with the soft palate or the soft back portion of the roof of the mouth. Since lip and the palate develop separately, it is possible to have a cleft lip without a cleft palate or vice versa. Causes of developing cleft lip and cleft palate: The exact cause of cleft lip and palate is unknown. Some research, however, suggests that these clefts are caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. The risk of such clefts thus can be reduced by adopting a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy. This includes avoidance of smoking, alcohol and having a healthy diet to avoid excessive weight gain during pregnancy. Cleft lip and palate can occur alone with no other problems or defects. This is called non-syndromic clefts. They may also occur as part of other birth defects and then may be called part of a syndrome. Cleft lip and palate may occur on one side (unilateral) or may occur on both sides (bilateral). Unilateral cleft lip and palate is more common than bilateral cleft lip and palate. Left-sided cleft lip and palate is twice as common as right-sided cleft lip and palate. The reason for this is unclear. A cleft lip or combined cleft lip and palate are seen more commonly in male babies. Cleft palate alone is more common in female babies. The face of the baby usually develops around 5th and 9th weeks of pregnancy thus this defect may arise early in pregnancy. Treatment of cleft lip and palate: Cleft lip and palate is usually corrected using cosmetic or plastic surgery. Results are usually very good. After treatment, most children have a normal appearance. To prevent and correct associated speech problems and dental problems, treatment is also sought from speech and language therapists, as well as dental surgeons (orthodontic specialists). Excellent results may be seen if the specialists work in tandem.
Stress - Even kids cannot escape!Often when we feel overwhelmed with stress, we go back in the past and reflect. We miss our golden days of childhood.We think of those days with fondness, miss the free and carefree times. We feel like becoming kids again. But the truth is that at no age are we free of stress and worries. It is just that with time, we move on to newer situations and every new stressor seems worse than the previous one. Children stress out too, some more than the others. Stressors Simple things like a test in school, a Physical Training class or poem recital could mean a lot of stress for the little ones. The desire to meet the expectations of parents or teachers also creates tremendous pressure on the children. They are eager to do well at all the times and the smallest failures can upset these kids immensely. Peer groups are difficult to manage. In childhood, the social maturity is not sufficiently developed to handle day-to-day conflicts. Trivial fights or comments from classmates and friends can lead to a long-lasting impact on the vulnerable minds. They get easily influenced by their friends. Elder siblings also play a major role. Some act as mentors, some as bullies. Some cause damage unknowingly, some are plain indifferent. Life is full of new things and childhood is a fast-track learning lesson. Every other day, there is something new a child has to do. Meet a new kid, learn a new subject, try to dodge a ball differently or ride a bicycle without side wheels; there is too much to learn. These cause anxiety and may make the child nervous. Performance pressures, technology, precocity, media influences, etc. are some of the other factors that add to the stress in childhood. Signs Watch out for subtle changes in moods and behaviour. With adults, it is easier to identify the stress and hence rectify it. But with children, it is quite a challenge. Most of the children are themselves unaware of the stress they are facing, they don't understand why they are feeling sad or angry or fearful. They are just not at ease. Inordinate crying or screaming is a common sign. Being withdrawn, aloof and quiet is another way by which kids express their tensions. Physical signs can be seen in basic physiological changes - in sleep patterns (oversleeping or inability to sleep), eating habits (not eating or eating too much), frequent aches and pains, especially digestion disturbances and headaches, etc. Managing childhood stress Pay attention to your child. Listen to what he/she is saying, but also try to listen to what he/she is not saying in words, although only in action. Help the kids open up to you, spend quality time with them and talk to them about everything under the sun. Be well connected with their school teachers and parents of their closest friends. If the need be, please don't hesitate to reach out and seek professional help from psychologists and child counsellors. "One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood." - Agatha Christie  
Crossing the smoke screenWhy should someone quit smoking? Smoking is probably the worst sedentary lifestyle habit that we pick up. Quitting smoking changes everything right from the way you feel, taste and smell, your breath smells better and even your cough goes away. Quitting smoking cuts down the risk of cancer, stroke, neuropathy, heart disease and breathing disorders like bronchitis, pneumonia, and emphysema. Not just that, quitting saves money too... just one of the many financial rewards of quitting. Quit Smoking Tips Write down the reasons you want to quit for, and how it will benefit you: for e.g. live longer, feel better, family safety, save money, smell better, find a soul mate easily, etc. You know what's bad about smoking and you know what you'll get by quitting. Read the list daily. Ask for help from your family and friends. Help and support of family and friends without being judgmental helps a lot. You need their support when you become irritable and even irrational while you withdraw from your smoking habit. Set a Deadline. Set a quit date when you will extinguish forever. Prepare a plan. Talk with doctor and take his support and guidance. Exercise. Exercise helps relieve stress and recovers body from damage caused due to cigarettes. Start slow and increase up to 30 to 40 minutes. Begin to breathe. Daily deep breathing for 5-15 minutes will help cleanse the respiratory system and provide more oxygen repairing the damage caused to respiratory system and help cope with withdrawal symptoms. Do not quit abruptly. Cut down on cigarettes gradually. Plan everything about number of cigarettes you will smoke each day till the quit date, reduce the number each day. Buy single cigarette at a time. This helps a great deal to limit smoking. Change brands. This way you won't enjoy smoking as much. Undertake social commitment. Keep your packet of cigarettes with someone else, so that you have to ask for them each time you want to smoke. This way you'll feel guilty about asking and hence smoking; hence lowering the number of times you smoke. Find a mate who is trying to quit. This will boost the morale and keep up the positivity. Try finding a quitting chat room. Learn what triggers desire to smoke - like stress, the end of a meal, arrival at work, entering a bar, etc. Avoid these triggers or if that's impossible, plan alternative ways to deal with the triggers. Now, after you have read this, sit down and write your own list suitable to your personality and way of doing things and create your own plan for quitting.  
Mood disordersMood disorder is a category of mental health problems, and it includes all types of depression and bipolar disorder. The cause of mood disorder is not well known. Endorphins in brain are responsible for positive moods. The neurotransmitters regulate endorphins. Depression and other mood disorders are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Life events such as unwanted changes in life may also contribute to a depressed mood. Mood disorders are inherited. Children, adolescents, or adults who have a parent with a mood disorder have a greater chance of also having a mood disorder. Symptoms: Prolonged feeling of sadness Helpless feeling Low self-esteem Intense guilt Suicidal thoughts Loss of interest in daily activities Difficulty with relationships Disturbed sleep Change in appetite or weight Low energy Inability in concentrating Inability to make decisions Frequent physical complaints (i.e., headache, stomach ache, fatigue) Threats of running away from home Hypersensitivity to failure or rejection Irritability Aggressive behaviour Hostility In mood disorders, these feelings appear more intense than what a person may normally feel from time to time. Treatment Psychotherapy: It is focused on changing the individual's distorted views of themselves and the environment around them, working through difficult relationships, and identifying stress triggers in their environment and how to avoid them. Family therapy: Families play a vital supportive role in any treatment process. Antidepressant medications: Medications in combination with psychotherapy has shown to be very effective in the treatment of depression.
Diet to help manage stressYou cannot avoid stress, as it has now become an integral part of modern lifestyle. Children are worried about their exams and performances in the cultural events, teenagers are stressed out about their looks and body shape, adults take stress owing to competition at work, and so on. One thing is sure that you cannot stay away from stress. So, how can you avoid the side effects caused due to stress? You can include certain foods in your diet that help manage your level of stress. Researchers are already on to it, studying the effects of various foods on the stress levels. It is always better to choose from the organically harvested nuts, veggies, fruits, and fish for better health benefits. Nori Sushi nori is a type of seaweed that is rich in magnesium that contains anxiety-fighting properties. Magnesium is also known for stress reducing abilities. Apart from this, it also carries other essential health nutrients that are necessary for the overall development of health. Vitamin C Foods Cantaloupe is composed of vitamin C that is a renowned stress buster. Another great stress busting food is orange. When you are under stress, adrenal glands in your body start producing cortisol that lowers your immune system's capacity. This leads to breaking down of muscle tissue. Vitamin C in oranges have the ability to return the high blood pressure to normal level. Moreover, when you are stressed there are chances of this vitamin getting used up and hence the need to increase your intake of vitamin C rich foods. Another popular vitamin C enriched food is blueberries that are also packed with lots of antioxidants which relieve stress. Almonds Almond is a treasure trove of essential nutrients such as vitamin E, B2, zinc, and magnesium. Although they are high in fat, they provide your body with all these essential nutrients. You can easily have a handful of almonds every day and still feel less guilty about.  Apart from the fat, energy, and the essential nutrients, almonds give the brain and its memory a shot in the arm. Broccoli Broccoli is rich in vitamin B and folic acid, both proven stress busters that helps in giving you relief from panic, anxiety, stress, and depression. Bananas Bananas contain one of the most important amino acids - tryptophan that gets transformed into serotonin which is a stress-busting hormone that is known to induce a feeling of well being. This makes you happier and gives you relief from stress. Banana is also rich in potassium. Potassium regulates the heart due to which the blood pressure can be kept under control. That is why many health experts recommend inclusion of a potassium-rich diet, as it normalizes your heart rate and help you calm down in stressful situations. This makes banana an essential food addition to your diet. Chocolate The dark chocolates are bitter and give you a feeling of satiation despite the little amount you devour. Due to this feeling, you eat less, but you still enjoy the flavor of the chocolate, much more than the milk chocolate varieties. When you are under stress, most of your body organs are vulnerable to damage. The antioxidants polyphenols that are present in the dark chocolate slow down the damage and also contribute in its repair. Studies have also revealed that 40 grams of dark chocolate per day helps reduce stress-causing hormones such as catecholamine and cortisol. Increasing the intake of stress busting foods in your daily diet can help control diabetes and hypertension.
10 Makeup mishaps and easy ways to avoid themRepercussions of those horrifying blends Astonished? As to why we are staring off with the "after effects" rather than discussing about the problems initially. Well, to understand how to avoid it, we first need to know why to avoid it. Firstly, application of the wrong makeup leads to spoiling your entire look and after that even if you wear any designer collection nothing shall compensate for those miseries. Secondly, applying makeup does not start when you hold that lipstick in your hand or take that brush close, it started way before, when you chose the brand or the type. Understanding your skin type and then choosing the best option is way too important than actually applying the makeup. Thirdly, never be "penny wise and pound foolish" when it comes to your cosmetic brand, as in the pursuit of saving some money, you might end up paying the dermatologist a huge fee for treating tarnished skin. The most awaited party and your make up got totally smudged, nightmarish right? Read on to find ways to avoid it. Keeping the above catastrophic consequences in mind lets know about the 10 makeup mistakes and ways to evade them. How to avoid those 10 makeup mishaps Laying the great  "Foundation" Do you pay all your attention in choosing the matching lipstick and eye shadow and end up paying no heed on the foundation to be applied? If your answer is YES then this is the column you need to stick your eyes to. Wrong foundation type or erroneously mixed foundation can cause more dangerous aftermath than a snow storm. Follow the 3 simple steps to make your foundation always compliment your makeup to the fullest: Chose your foundation color and brand by testing the same on your skin and seeing the texture under good natural lighting. The foundation blend should be always created by adding right amount of water and moisturizer into it to create a suitable mixture. Apply the foundation not only till your face but extend it to your neck and ear area to give a uniform appearance. Blistering of the Blush Have you spent 3 hours to get that right look and 3 minutes in realizing that the makeup was too heavy you stepped out? Well blushes, if not applied in the right amount, will end up making you look too loud for the occasion. The instant solution:  chose a color which compliments your skin tone and apply it under good lighting to know the real effect it has on your skin. Under the dark shadows of the eye shadow Isn't eye makeup your most favorite part of your entire look? Most of the girls will give a big nod to this. Eye makeup can solely make you look like a diva or a devil taking into consideration how you do it. Try to play with colors but do not end up choosing a shade totally different from your eye color and complexion. Chose a shade which compliments your eye color and your outfit. The Mascara Massacre Avoiding dramatic movies and stepping out in the rains is the maximum refuge we take to save our mascara and making us turn into a black-eyed devil. You think there is no way to get rid of this? Then you are wrong for once, as such situations can be avoided just by resisting the application of the mascara on your lower eyelids.  Seal the concealer It may be a magic wand to hide that pimple at the wrong place or those dark circles you got after the late night study sessions but always remember to mix your concealer well with the nearby skin area to give a natural look. Also, create a firm mixture before applying it to avoid lines showing on your face. The eye brow hassles Too less eyebrow hair make you uncomfortable even with good makeup? The solution is simple, move the eyebrow pencil firmly on your eyebrow to give some volume to your eyebrows. Just do not overdo it as it might spoil your entire look. Apply just one or two light streaks of it on the eye brows and you are good to go. Dangerous chronicles of the eyeliner Applying the eyeliner can be a fetish among many women but how to do it and how much is a point to discuss here. Try to apply pencil liners if you are a beginner especially. Dress as per occasion and apply the liner accordingly. Carry wet tissues always and clean up well in case they get grubby.  Lash out those artificial eye lashes Giving volume to your eye lashes can be very beneficial but do you know how much volume is just enough? If no, try to start with very few artificial lashes. Heavy usage of these lashes can make your look go haywire. So start off with less and then move ahead as per requirement.  Right streak of the Lip liner One might always get confused as which lip liner will go well with the lipstick shade you got but always try to chose a lighter liner shade which shall hold your lipstick and give it a neat and tidy appearance. Gloss or Matt-the great dilemma of a Lipstick Do you always sit with just one question before buying the lipstick that should you go with gloss or matt colors, here is the easy answer - chose gloss for informal occasions and ceremonies. Usage of matt can be done for office presentation where you do not have time for instant touch ups. Avoid matt when you are out for weekend parties, as gloss will give you the needed liveliness you need that time. Choose the color which goes well with your skin tone rather than the one matching your dress. Try to experiment and flaunt but do not experiment with anything that might damage your skin.
Hypertension and Vitamin DVitamin D is one of the essential vitamins that are required for strong and healthy bones. The body synthesizes it in the skin from cholesterol when there is adequate exposure to sunlight. Over the past decade, vitamin D has been intriguing medical researchers the world over. Several studies were conducted and interesting results found. One of them being that vitamin D may be implicated in influencing blood pressure levels. As per studies conducted, it was found that low levels of vitamin D lead to high blood pressure levels. People living in high altitudes where sunlight is at a minimum level were found to be hypertensive. Also, the winter season showed an increase in hypertension cases which was again attributed to the low sunlight levels. What exactly does vitamin D do to affect the blood pressure? Renin is an enzyme secreted by the kidneys that constricts the blood vessels and increases the blood pressure. Vitamin D acts by inhibiting this renin. Insulin resistance causes high blood pressure, which is why hypertension often has co-morbidity with diabetes mellitus. Vitamin D helps in improving the body's sensitivity to insulin. Calcium deposits on the arterial walls harden them and make them lose their elasticity leading to an increase in the pressure of blood flowing through them. Vitamin D helps the body to better absorb and metabolize the calcium. The role of vitamin D in strengthening bones is very clear. Though the studies have shown that people having deficiency in vitamin D tend to develop hypertension, the role of vitamin D in this case is still not very clear. Also, whether vitamin D supplements help in lowering blood pressure levels is still to be found out! But all said and done, the research findings cannot be ignored. Moreover, a morning walk is beneficial in many other ways as well! So, get up early, put on your walking shoes and say Hello to the sun! Vitamin D alone will not help you control your BP. You need to keep taking the medications along with the other dietary and life-style changes! An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day!
Painful intercourseSome of the causes affecting women can be: Going too fast, penetrating from an awkward position. Do not hesitate to tell your partner that it hurts and he needs to slow down or change position in order to make you comfortable and prevent pain. Dry vagina or lack of natural lubrication in the vagina. This dry vagina is caused due to some medications, changes at the menopause. Sometimes just increasing the time of foreplay can help vaginal lubrication. Use water-based lubricant to reduce pain. Failure to fire off. Sometimes failure of the vagina and uterus to respond to sexual arousal can lead to irritation and tenderness. The vagina may be too tight for the intercourse sometimes or the uterus may not be raised so that the penis comes in contact with the cervix during penetration. Using other penetration methods can be helpful to explore the level of arousal before engaging in intercourse. Vaginismus can be the cause of discomfort. Muscles surrounding vagina are sometimes very tight and lead to pain and intercourse to be painful. Woman can examine herself with her fingers to see if vaginal walls are tighter than normal. It can be vaginismus. Normal cause is nervousness or anxiety. It is reversible. Good foreplay before intercourse will help to relax the muscles and help lubricate. Just relaxing before the act can be helpful. Vaginal infection and inflammation due to yeast, herpes, etc. can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fabrics, creams, perfumes may cause irritation in area in some women. Avoid these. First-time sex can be a little painful. Rupture of the hymen can cause discomfort during penetration. Start slowly or begin with forms of penetration other than intercourse. Psychological pain. Sexually traumatic experiences or feelings of guilt associated with sex can make the act painful. Consult a sex therapist or psychiatrist. Discomfort during intercourse is experienced by men too, various causes affecting this outcome for men are: Tight foreskin. During first attempt at intercourse, tight foreskin will make retraction painful. After sometime, the foreskin will become loose and make intercourse comfortable. Any lesion on the penis skin can make intercourse painful. These may result from non-lubricated masturbation or rapid intercourse or STDs. The blisters due to herpes infection can make intercourse extremely painful.
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
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