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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
What causes male balding?They say there are 3 types of men: the ones that go bald at the top are thinkers, the ones who go bald at the back are lovers, and the ones who grow bald at both places... only think they are lovers. If pregnancy and menstruation are a female's burden, then baldness is a great inconvenience to men. Some men lose their hair in their youth and thus lose their confidence along with their hair. So what is with baldness and men? Men start having a receding hairline by the time they hit 30, though it could begin in their 20s as well. The most common type of baldness is the mid-frontal type resembling a horseshoe. Earlier it was thought that baldness is caused only by genetic factors, but apparently emotions, lifestyle and diseases also contribute largely to hair loss and baldness. This hair loss can be temporary or permanent. Some medications like anticoagulants, antidepressants, antifungal medicines, chemotherapy etc can cause baldness. Certain diseases like thyroid disease, Crohn's disease, lupus can cause hair loss and baldness. Poor nutrition is an important factor in hair loss. Vitamin and mineral deficiencies along with poor nutrition can pave the path sooner than most other things. Then there are some conditions like Alopecia Areata which cause baldness in patches -- on the head or beard. It is temporary and the hair grow back in about 6 months to 1 year. Corticosteroid injections are used to treat the condition. Air and water pollutants, environmental toxins, conventional styling products have the potential to build up on the scalp. These affect hair cuticle, cause dryness, and weaken the hair causing them to easily break off before their natural lifecycle has ended. If you notice your hairline receding more than usual, then check if you are getting enough nutrition. Exercises like the headstand and handstand send the blood rushing to the scalp and can help with hair growth. Massaging the head with warm oil helps to increase blood circulation as well. Use a shampoo that suits your hair along with a conditioner. Oil your hair overnight at least thrice a week. Keep yourself well hydrated and try vitamin C which can help arrest hair fall. Use a clean comb and ensure that you sun your scalp, as vitamin D is an essential tonic for skin, bones, teeth and even hair.    
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
Pregnancy and HIVMothers with higher level of viral load have been found to deliver infected babies. However, no amount of viral load can be safe as infections can occur any time during pregnancy. A high level of precaution is necessary during this phase. Mostly infection occurs during delivery but that's not the only way through which it can spread. HIV-infected mothers should not breast-feed, as virus can transmit through breast milk too. Antiretroviral medications are used to reduce chances of transmission of HIV. Keeping delivery time shorter can reduce the risk of transmission. Most of the times babies born to positive mothers are positive for HIV. Babies infected with HIV will have antibodies made in their system and will continue to test positive. But if babies aren't infected, the mother's antibodies in baby's blood will eventually disappear and babies will test negative after about one to one and half year. HIV positive women should consider possible problems with antiretroviral medications for HIV before getting pregnant. Talk to the doctor about choice, indications, and contraindications of these drugs. There's a risk of missing doses due to nausea and vomiting during early pregnancy, hence giving HIV a chance to develop resistance. Some doctors prefer the practice of stopping or modifying medications during pregnancy to lower the risk of birth defects. Short course of treatments can help eliminate or reduce risk of transmitting HIV to a newborn; but, short treatments increase the risk of resistance to the drugs used too. There is a risk of birth defects due to antiretroviral drugs during the first 3 months of pregnancy. Pregnancy does not worsen mother's HIV disease, but any HIV positive woman planning to get pregnant should discuss treatment options thoroughly and all the pros and cons with her doctor.   
Anger management for your teenaged daughter - Handling difficult teenage times If one fine day you find your daughter suddenly reacting differently to a particular situation, do not be surprised, especially if she is in her teens. The outburst is beyond her control and she herself is confused by her own behavior, at times. It's important rather than scolding her for her misbehavior, one must wait for her to calm down and then speak to her regarding the incident when she is in a jolly mood. It is impossible to forgive such behavior if it repeats regularly, though. Here are some ways to deal with your daughter if she strays the limits of accepted norm for a behavior. You can seek the help of a counselor and understand why this is happening and solve her queries so that she could handle them better in the future. Why do Teenage Girls Lose Temper?By the time, the girls enter their teens they would have become aware about the social etiquettes, importance of looks, acting in an acceptable manner in social scenarios and creating a 'cool' image about themselves when they are outside their homes. So, even if they are hurt, or are angry at something, they do not let it go public, lest their 'cool' image gets shattered. However, the same anger becomes bottled up and vents itself out when they reach home. It's much like the workplace anger showing up at home. This is the place where they can behave wildly and still expect forgiveness. However, that does not mean that you should let your daughter get away with such kind of madness. After she has cooled down, you need to talk to her to find out what is bothering her or making her behave in such a manner. Probably, she may not accept that she has a problem, but you will have to find a way to reach to the root of the issue. More often girls want to be like someone in their college or peer group. They want to fit into a particular group and being unable to do so makes them nervous and distraught. Teach your daughter to believe in herself. Make her understand that she is a unique person on her own and do not need to convert herself into someone else. It may take consistent effort on your part to imbibe all these things into her mind, but you have to work hard to make her understand. Self-Control is the KeyMany young girls do not know how to solve a particular problem when they are faced with it. Apart from taking her to a good counselor, you can discuss problem solving techniques with her. Ask her to understand the situation first, put a foot backwards, relax, and then find a solution to the problem. This habit will make her probe into the problem in a better way and she will be able to handle similar situations when they occur again. You can ask her to write down the problems that are bothering her and ponder over them. You can assist her initially, but as she matures she will find her own solutions depending on her past experiences. Adolescent girls have sometimes trouble keeping their anger, rage, and fear under control and hence their problems should be handled patiently. Brainstorming SolutionsOnce she has ripped apart every aspect of the problem and has come to a brainstorming solution, advise her to write down the plan of action. For example, if she is disturbed due to a particular teacher who does not seem to like her grades, she may do well seeking help through friends who are better in that subject, or for that matter, a bad remark by someone in a group might unsettle her, thereby venting her anger at home. With restraint on your part, make her understand that anger will only block her process to think or find a solution. If you teach her to find answers for the problems in a calm manner, your teenage daughter will surely learn to control her anger and behave normally as she grows into an adult.
Academic pressure in children and young peopleUnderstandably, parents, educators and politicians consider this topic a high priority. Exam preparatory businesses are found in every street and parents are willing to invest huge amounts of money to further their child's education. Another result, though, is childhood and teenage stress and anxiety. Signs of anxiety from too much pressure to succeed at school may show itself in sleep disturbances, erratic/poor eating, low mood, excessive worrying, low confidence levels and fear of failure - all eventually heading towards premature burnout. Younger children may experience nightmares, show bad behaviors or refuse to go to school. Teens may engage in destructive behaviors like drinking or drugs. They may struggle to concentrate or lose interest in their day-to-day activities and hobbies. They may gradually withdraw and isolate themselves. Anxiety and stress maybe linked to queasy tummies, headaches, and flaring up of skin conditions like rashes and eczema. The school and college admissions process has become more difficult than ever before. Competition is fierce. Many apply to a handful of good institutions hoping to get a much-wanted place. The stress does not stop after the exams - the wait for a decision is excruciating. Only a small proportion of eligible candidates succeed. Rejection can feel devastating. Highly capable and hardworking young people who spend many hours studying and preparing for assignments and exams, find the whole experience undermining and frustrating. Increasing external pressure from competitive peers, higher thresholds of parental expectations in a fast-paced world and the increasingly selective, goal-based focus of educational institutions will not feel supportive to a fragile child. Education should lead us from darkness to light. However, high and unrealistic expectations from parents and schools can affect a child's overall development. Whilst there is evidence that the parent's role supports or facilitates the child's achievements, there have also been concerns that a parent with unrealistic expectations can create unnecessary pressure - this worsens stress and fosters performance anxiety in children. Schools may put pressure on parents and the child to ensure that the child is meeting school targets and is not deficient in any area, rather than understanding that every child has a different potential and ability to manage stress. Children may perform better at school and feel more confident about themselves if they are told that failure is a normal part of learning, rather than being pressured to succeed at all costs, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association (2012). Recognizing this key concept and intervening early is vital. Parents and teachers need to communicate better with each other and the child. Understanding the child's strengths and interests but accepting the child's limitations at the same time is important. Supporting the child's efforts and self-esteem is the surest way to motivate them in a healthy manner. A simple conversation at the end of the day about how things are going on and giving positive feedback on the child's efforts go a long way. Where degrees and educational attainments are seen as the passport to financial success, are we losing sight of educating minds and supporting children's emotional, psychological, social and spiritual growth potential?
Accepting your flawsThere are basically two kinds of 'flaws,' one that is physical and the other that is in your personality. A physical 'flaw' like being too short, fat, or darkis never a person's fault. Thus accepting what you are can only boost your self-esteem and confidence. Despite these 'shortcomings,' it is your character and your achievements that stand out in the long run and not the way you look. The first step in creating a better life is accepting if you are wrong! Personality traits and habits are mostly visible to others but not to you. These are those faults that can cause bitterness in relationships or cause problems at work or in our social interactions. Some people lose their temper easily, some are lazy, and some are rude, while some are either introverts or extroverts. If you have flaws that can cause problems for others then the best thing you can do is to change those negative traits in yourself. Character flaws might be natural, but they can affect others negatively. The first thing in making improvements is to analyze yourself. What are you so angry about ? Is it really some other person's fault or that you have had a bad day at the office? Give it a thought and once you find the answers, you will feel relieved. Accept your physical flaws and love yourself for what you are, as this is the key to lasting happiness. Major flaws like alcoholism, splurging money, borrowing money, or addictions are what one should be willing to overcome. If you accept you have any of these major flaws and need help to overcome them, then you need to seek help. There are professionals who can help out, provided you are a willing party to the process. Improvement will come only if you are willing to change. Remember that flaws are easy to acknowledge and to change;the only thing required is the desire within you to do so.
Crossing the smoke screenWhy should someone quit smoking? Smoking is probably the worst sedentary lifestyle habit that we pick up. Quitting smoking changes everything right from the way you feel, taste and smell, your breath smells better and even your cough goes away. Quitting smoking cuts down the risk of cancer, stroke, neuropathy, heart disease and breathing disorders like bronchitis, pneumonia, and emphysema. Not just that, quitting saves money too... just one of the many financial rewards of quitting. Quit Smoking Tips Write down the reasons you want to quit for, and how it will benefit you: for e.g. live longer, feel better, family safety, save money, smell better, find a soul mate easily, etc. You know what's bad about smoking and you know what you'll get by quitting. Read the list daily. Ask for help from your family and friends. Help and support of family and friends without being judgmental helps a lot. You need their support when you become irritable and even irrational while you withdraw from your smoking habit. Set a Deadline. Set a quit date when you will extinguish forever. Prepare a plan. Talk with doctor and take his support and guidance. Exercise. Exercise helps relieve stress and recovers body from damage caused due to cigarettes. Start slow and increase up to 30 to 40 minutes. Begin to breathe. Daily deep breathing for 5-15 minutes will help cleanse the respiratory system and provide more oxygen repairing the damage caused to respiratory system and help cope with withdrawal symptoms. Do not quit abruptly. Cut down on cigarettes gradually. Plan everything about number of cigarettes you will smoke each day till the quit date, reduce the number each day. Buy single cigarette at a time. This helps a great deal to limit smoking. Change brands. This way you won't enjoy smoking as much. Undertake social commitment. Keep your packet of cigarettes with someone else, so that you have to ask for them each time you want to smoke. This way you'll feel guilty about asking and hence smoking; hence lowering the number of times you smoke. Find a mate who is trying to quit. This will boost the morale and keep up the positivity. Try finding a quitting chat room. Learn what triggers desire to smoke - like stress, the end of a meal, arrival at work, entering a bar, etc. Avoid these triggers or if that's impossible, plan alternative ways to deal with the triggers. Now, after you have read this, sit down and write your own list suitable to your personality and way of doing things and create your own plan for quitting.  
Beating the weight loss plateauThere comes a stage when you stop losing any weight in spite of strict exercise and diet regimen. This is called as weight loss plateau. When calorie intake is reduced along with exercise, the energy required is obtained from stored fat which eventually leads to weight loss. This rate of weight loss slows down and eventually stops once body reaches its set point of metabolism. This set point varies from person to person. So what can you do next? Here are some easy ways to get the weighing scale budging: Modify diet pattern: Metabolism slows down with lowering calorie intake. To reset metabolism, you need to have an adequate amount of calories. This can be done by including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and proteins in diet. More energy is needed to burn proteins than carbohydrates or fats. Eat within half an hour or hour after exercising. Add proteins and carbohydrates to diet. Sip water: Increase total water intake in a day. Drink water before, during and after exercise and throughout the day. Change the workout: Change the exercises you do daily. Muscles get accustomed to a routine workout. Switching exercises and continually challenging helps burn more fat and build lean tissue. Change the type and time or duration of exercise. Try cycling instead of running if you have been doing it for long. Running, swimming, dancing, and Pilates too are good options. Skipping and brisk walking help in burning calories too and break the plateau. In the gym, change the exercise or number of repetitions. If you have been working on machines for long, try weight training or floor exercises. Take rest: Adequate rest is essential for the body to rejuvenate. Muscles, tendons, and ligaments get slight internal and external injuries which can be healed by rest. Proper rest helps repair and regenerate the tissue and makes them strong. Make these changes and get the needle on that weighing scale to budge.
4 super foods to keep you healthy this winterWinter is here. It is time for lazy mornings and blanket hideouts. It is also the time when the markets are lined up with a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, all juicy, healthy and colorful. Discover four such super foods for the cold winter evenings. Citrus fruits: Oranges, sweet lime, lemons; bring them all and have them all. Bright yellow or orange, they are like the bright sunny mornings which you need after a cold night. Rich in vitamin C, antioxidants, flavonoids and several other nutrients, citrus fruits are the perfect measure for your daily dose. Peel it off and chew it up, or slice it off and lick it on, or squeeze it strong and drink it down - choose the way you like. Citrus fruits help in taking care of your cholesterol, as well. Potatoes: Potatoes are the victims of most diet plans. It is loaded with carbohydrates, we should not eat potato, and so on and so forth. Potato is not that bad actually. In fact, its nutritional value may come as a surprise to many. The content of vitamins B6, C and folate is high in potatoes. Potatoes are rich in essential minerals like potassium, zinc and magnesium. The starch content may be significant, but so is the fiber content. They are known to protect against colon cancer. What are you waiting for? Have some potatoes, will you? Make sure there is no guilt. Kidney Beans: Kidney bean is our favorite Indian 'Rajma'. They are a rich source of carbohydrates and proteins, are known to lower the cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of heart disease. They are particularly known for helping to replenish the iron stores of your body. It can be the food of choice even if you have diabetes, as it is almost fat-free and doesn't send a sudden rush of glucose in the blood. When combined with rice, kidney beans make a very healthy meal. So, is it rajma-chawal (kidney beans with rice) for dinner today? Green leaves: Yes, yes, you are bored of reading and listening to the benefits of green leafy vegetables. But, we have to remind you, for the advantages are too many to be ignored. They are the greenest, freshest and leafiest in the winters. Even if you are not a fan, you will feel like picking up a bunch from the grocery store. Spinach (palak), fenugreek (methi), cabbage (gobhi) are the ones that we can commonly find. Others to look for are lettuce, mustard greens, etc. The green leaves are a rich source of a variety of vitamins, mineral, fiber and water content. They are suitable for all ages and can be easily digested. Entertain that potato lying in your kitchen, cook up a dish with the green leafy ones. Alternatively, you could try it in the form of salads, soups, juices, flour fillings, and any other creative ideas that you chefs have.  
Thyroid may make your heart flutter!Thyroid is a small gland situated in the area of neck. In Greek, thyroid means the shape of a shield. Yes, thyroid gland is vital to a variety of important body functions and does act as a shield. But what happens when the shield is disturbed and goes weak? Thyroid dysfunction is recorded in approximately one to four people out of hundred Thyroid link to heart A research study was conducted in 2009 by Weill Cornell Medical College researchers. It was done to investigate and analyze the genetic link behind rhythm control of heartbeat. They found that the genes that are responsible for synchrony and rhythm in the functioning of heart are also closely connected to the thyroid hormone synthesis and could cause dysfunction of the thyroid. Thyroid activity directly influences the metabolism, blood flow and electrical activity of the heart. When there isn't enough thyroid hormone (low levels), the patients complain of low energy levels, fatigue and reduced heart rate. On the other hand, with increased thyroid hormone levels in the blood, patients report symptoms of hyperactivity of systems. There is diarrhea, palpitations, increased heartbeats and advanced cases show arrhythmias of heart, where normal beating rhythm of heart is disturbed and becomes irregular. Thyroid hyperactivity can be appropriately controlled with regular medication. Understanding arrhythmias When the rhythm of the heart is disturbed, it becomes irregular - this is called cardiac arrhythmia. There are various types of loss of rhythm - heartbeat is too slow (that is, the cycles are taking too long to complete), too fast (the cycles are repeating too quickly), too early (that is, before a cycle is even completed, another starts), too irregular (this is called fibrillation, where no specific pattern may emerge). The patients who have arrhythmia will often come with complaints of dizziness, shortness of breath, suddenly feeling weak or lightheaded, fainting and feeling of a flutter in chest (flutter can be understood as light but quick flapping of wings by a bird). Arrhythmias are usually harmless and most people would continue to live a healthy life for years with arrhythmias. But that does not mean it can be ignored. There is a battery of tests available to diagnose and indicate the seriousness of arrhythmias and let your doctor take a call on the line of treatment. If you have a thyroid dysfunction, get your heart checked immediately. And if you have faced arrhythmias, get your thyroid checked immediately. Both the conditions are controllable and treatable; there is no cause to worry over what could go wrong. Just be vigilant and informed.
7 Pains you should not ignoreWhen the body cries out in pain, most of the times, you know what is bringing that pain, and you do what will help relieve the pain. For example, a serious workout may cause sore aching muscles, for which you will rest a day or two, or take a painkiller. What does one do to know why a body part is paining? One needs to sit up and take notice! The pain could be anything, from a heart attack, to an aneurysm, and could cost you your life! Pain in the head: Headaches are the most frequent pains that we suffer from. Headache could be due to a migraine, due to staying too long in the sun, due to a cold, or simply due to working too long without a break. However, in case you have a headache, and are not able to pinpoint to an obvious cause, rush to the emergency room. Headaches with no apparent cause may be due to a brain hemorrhage, a tumor in the brain, or an aneurysm in the brain arteries! Get yourself checked as soon as possible, if you keep getting headaches for no apparent reason. Pain in the jaw: This could be due to a caries ridden tooth. But most often it is due to an impending heart attack. The classical left sided chest pain radiating to the left little finger is not always seen in all cases of heart attacks. Pains to the jaw and the back are reported very frequently. Often, people tend to take the pain in the jaw lightly, and brush it off to a tooth problem. This may be potentially life threatening, as you never know the severity of the attack! Tingling, numbness and burning of the feet: Diabetes mellitus is a silent killer. Peripheral neuropathy is often the first complication of diabetes. Tingling numbness, and burning in the feet may be attributed to wearing tight shoes and to keeping your feet suffocated in socks all day long. Dipping your feet in a tub of cold water will give you a good night's sleep. But do not let it go at that. Get your blood sugar levels checked before it is too late! Pain in the calves: Do you get nightly pain in your calves that get better with putting your feet up? This is due to long standing hours at workplace, you may say. True, it is due to that. But, it is not something to be left unattended. Calf pains are due to deep vein thrombosis that occurs when the stagnated blood in the veins starts to form clots. The danger here is that the clot could break off and travel to your lungs causing pulmonary thromboembolism that is fatal! Take a break regularly and put up your feet frequently. Let the blood flow and not stagnate! Pain in the back: Most commonly, back pain is caused due to arthritis, and improper sitting postures. But if you suffer from high blood pressure, and are an alcoholic and smoker too, do not take your back pain lightly. It could be due to a heart attack or an aortic dissection! Pain in the abdomen: You may attribute this pain to gases, over eating or indigestion. While these may be occasional causes, persistent pains need to be checked. It could be anything from a gall stone, to gastric ulcers, to a swollen liver, or maybe even pancreatic cancer! Vague, medically inexplicable pains: When you have a recurrent headache or a stomach ache or a backache and you come out with a 'perfectly healthy' report after visiting all the specialists, it is perhaps time to seek the help of a psychiatrist or a counsellor. Your pains could actually be a symptom of depression. Psychosomatic pains are on the rise. The stresses we face in our lives everyday get pushed to our subconscious, and eventually are pushed up bodily in the form of unexplained aches and pains!
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
Sex during pregnancy? It's possible!One of the questions that arise when a woman gets pregnant is whether it is safe for the couple to have sex. We'll try to answer the most common questions couples tend to ask. Is sex safe during pregnancy? Sex is considered safe if the pregnancy is normal in all stages. However, even if it is safe, it doesn't mean the woman would want to have it. Desire for sex fluctuates during the various stages of pregnancy and sex becomes plain uncomfortable as the body gets larger. What is not safe? Two types of sexual behaviors are not safe during pregnancy. While having oral sex, the man should not blow air into his partners' vagina. It can lead to air blockage of blood vessels by an air bubble, which is called air embolism, and can be lethal for both mother and baby. The pregnant woman should strictly avoid sex with a partner with unknown sexual history or who may have a Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). What are the common risk factors? In case of significant complications with pregnancy, abstinence from sexual intercourse is advised. Common risk factors can be: Threat of miscarriage. One can have pre-term labor or signs indicating the risk of pre-term labor (such as premature contractions). Unexplained vaginal bleeding, discharge, or cramping. Leakage of fluid surrounding the baby, called as amniotic fluid. Placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta (the cord connecting mother to the baby and nourishes the baby) is located low down and covers the opening of the uterus. Cervix incompetency, a condition where cervix is weak and dilates before full term, increasing the risk of miscarriage or premature labor and delivery. Can sex during pregnancy harm the baby? The baby is always protected by the amniotic sac (a bag-like structure that holds the fetus and surrounding fluid) and uterine muscles. A thick mucus plug seals the cervix and protects the baby from infection. The penis does not come into contact with the fetus during sex. So, sex can't harm the baby directly. Can orgasm lead to miscarriage or contractions? The contractions felt by pregnant women during and just after orgasm are totally different from the contractions of labor. Therefore, in cases of normal and low-risk pregnancies, orgasm can't cause contractions and miscarriage, but always check with the doctor and make sure that your pregnancy is in the low-risk category. What are the safe positions for sex during pregnancy? The old standby missionary position for intercourse may not work for you now. Instead, try these options: Spooning: Lie side by side with him behind you. This will not put pressure on your belly, and makes for more shallow penetration. Female on top: There's no pressure on the belly, and the female can control the speed and depth of penetration. Side of the bed: The female lies on the back on the edge of the bed with knees bent and feet on the edge. The male stands facing her. It's like classic missionary, but the male won't be resting his body weight on the pregnant female. However, remember 'normal' is a relative term when it comes to sex during pregnancy. You and your partner need to discuss what feels right for both of you and take advice from the doctor.
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