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Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
Male infertility : An overview of the causesWhy men shy away from infertility tests? However, it is ideal for both the man and woman of a relationship to get infertility tests done. This would not only avoid unnecessary tests and expenditure later and could also result in prompt medical treatment of the problem. Following an appointment with a urologist/andrologist, the patient is instructed to provide a semen sample for analysis of the quantity and quality of the sperms in the semen. An additional semen test might be recommended for confirmation of the initial results. The semen analysis is an effective method of knowing what is going wrong in the reproductive system : No-sperm count (azoospermia) - Absence of production of sperms or the non-appearance of sperms in the semen. Sperm Morphology Issues - Issues related to the structure and form of the sperm. Low-Semen Production (oligospermia) - Production of low amount of sperms. Sperm Motility Problems - Abnormal movement of sperms resulting in incapacity to fertilize egg. Did you know that use of laptops placed on your thighs can result in increase of scrotal temperature? This could lead to abnormality with sperm production. Thus, using laptops is best when they are located on table or desks, away from constant contact with your genital region. There could also be a primary medical condition, the symptom of which could be manifested reproductively. The physician will suggest blood and urine tests, among others, for the same. There can be 10 major causes of male infertility : Semen : Semen refers to the ejaculated fluid containing sperms during sexual intercourse. There could be low or no count of sperm. It is also possible that the mobility of sperm is restricted. Sterilization : The cutting and sealing off the vas deferens (the tubes which carry the sperms from testicles to the semen) ensuring that your semen does not contain sperms is known as vasectomy. Though this process can be reversed, they are mostly not fruitful. Lack of sperms : Even though the testicles are producing quality sperms, it is possible that they do not reach the semen. The lack of sperms in the semen is medically known as obstructive azoospermia. Such a condition could be caused due to the blocking in one of the constitutive tubes of the reproductive system. This could be further resulting from an infection or a previous surgery. Ejaculation issues : Some men might find it challenging to ejaculate normally due to retrograde (ejaculation of semen into bladder) or premature (ejaculation in very short period of sexual activity) ejaculation. Medicine and drugs : Certain medications have been found to catalyze the onset of infertility. These include sulfasalazine, chemotherapy, anabolic steroids, and herbal remedies (for instance, the consumption of root derivates of Tripterygium wilfordii). The quality of semen can also be negatively affected by illegal drugs like cocaine and marijuana. Testicles : The function of production and storage of the semen lies with the testicles. In case of injury to them, the quality of the semen could be negatively affected. Causes of injury to testicles include a congenital defect, testicular infection, physical trauma, testicular surgery or cancer and undescended testicles (case where one or both of the testicles do not descend into the scrotum). Hypogonadism : This refers to the presence of a very low level of testosterone (male sexual hormone) which plays a major role in production of sperms. This could be due to tumors, Klinefelter's syndrome, or consumption of illegal drugs. Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) : A series of sexually transmitted illnesses can result in male infertility, for example, chlamydia. Alcohol and weight : Consumption of over 3 to 4 units of alcohol per day can result in infertility in men. Both men and women are affected adversely due to obesity. Occupational factors and stress : Contact with certain types of pesticides, solvents, and metals can result in deterioration of sperm quality. Stress has also been associated with the loss of sexual drive resulting in lesser instances of sexual intercourse. Moreover, in case of severe stress, sperm production can be unfavorably affected.
Honeymoon cystitisHoneymoon cystitis is a term for urinary tract infections that occur commonly during early marriage. Sexual intercourse is the primary reason for developing this infection. The infection occurs when the E. coli bacteria that are normally present in the bowel are introduced into the urethra. This may happen through sexual intercourse, inserting unclean fingers or objects into the vagina. Women who wash their private parts from the back to front also have an increased chance of developing infection. Symptoms of honeymoon cystitis may include a burning or painful sensation during urination, the urge to urinate frequently, cloudy urine, blood-tinged urine, and/or pain above the pubic bone. Any of these is enough o play a spoilsport and dampen your honeymoon mood! Symptoms of honeymoon cystitis generally emerge within a day or two after bacteria are introduced into the urethra. A physician can confirm the diagnosis of infection through a simple urine test. The treatment usually involves antibiotics and pain-killers. What care should you take to avoid honeymoon cystitis from recurring? Use water based lubricant during sexual intercourse Urinate before and immediately after intercourse to flush out the bacteria from the urethra. Drink plenty of water to keep the urine normal Avoid coffee, tea and aerated drinks See a gynaecologist or a urologist if the problem recurs.  Urinary tract infections are extremely common in women and are the leading cause for visits to the doctor.
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
16 myths about baby careA new mother experiences a range of emotions. Chief among these is fear, which is a result of the love and attachment that she feels for the baby. In such situations, mothers often tend to believe myths that make no logical or medical sense. Myth 1: If I don't breastfeed my baby immediately after the birth, I won't be able to bond with him adequately. Fact: Although the first few hours of a baby's life are important for both mother and child, sometimes due to unavoidable circumstances, the baby is kept away from the mother. For instance, in cases of cesarean delivery, the new born babies need immediate medical attention, and hence are kept away from the mothers.  However, the love and care you show the child over the years will more than make up for the loss of attachment with the baby during its first few hours. Myth 2: Pinching the baby's nose will make it pointed. Fact: Pinching the nose will only hurt the baby. It will not make the nose pointed. It is possible for a baby to be born with a flat or tilted nose if it gets pressed during delivery. But this is temporary and the nose becomes normal as the nasal bridge develops completely. Myth 3: Mothers should not use yellow clothes and yellow food while breastfeeding as it causes jaundice in the newborn.  Fact: The color of the mother's clothes can't affect the baby's health. There isn't any evidence to show the relationship between yellow food, clothes and jaundice. Myth 4: Umbilical cord stump should be cleaned with alcohol swab every time after changing diaper.  Fact: Alcohol may delay the healing. It is recommended to keep stump clean and dry till it falls off. Myth 5: Some babies can be allergic to mother's milk.  Fact: No. A baby is never allergic to mother's milk. Myth 6: Baby should be wrapped up tightly. This helps to straighten the hands and feet.  Fact: A child's limbs develop faster when they are free to move and not wrapped. Myth 7: Holding the baby all the time will spoil him. Fact: Babies cry to express pain, anger, irritability, hunger, sleep everything. Holding or picking him up to comfort won't make him a spoiled child. Myth 8: Do not take your newborn baby outside. Always keep him in the house.  Fact: Fresh air is good for the baby too. Just avoid heat, crowds and unhygienic places. Myth 9: Vaccines cause autism. Do not vaccinate the baby.  Fact: It is a rumor. Immunization is very important to protect the baby against a number of diseases. Myth 10: Babies do not spit up if they are breastfed.  Fact: It is normal for the babies to burp, spit up, and drool. Do not worry about it if the baby is gaining weight normally. Myth 11: Sleeping on the head causes flat head.  Fact: It is advised medically that all babies should sleep on the back to prevent sudden infant death syndrome. Alternate the head position daily as flat head can be caused only if baby sleeps in same position daily for long time. It is an occasional occurrence.  Myth 12: Putting few drops of oil in baby's ears will keep it clean.  Fact: Do not put oil in the baby's ears. It can hurt the tiny eardrums leading to pain, soreness, and even hearing loss. Oil can cause ear infection too. Myth 13: Use crib bumpers to protect head of your baby. Fact: They are not advisable. The baby's head can get wedged against a bumper causing strangulation or suffocation. Bumpers are dangerous. Myth 14: Stop mother's milk if baby fed only on breast milk has loose motions.  Fact: Passing 5-6 loose motions is normal in a baby. Continue to breastfeed. Do not stop it. Myth 15: Attention span is very short in babies.  Fact: Babies, in fact, have excellent attention spans and have interest in the all things around them. This is why babies learn things so quickly.  Myth 16: Wrap up the baby in blanket if he has fever. Sweating will bring the fever down.  Fact: The fever will rise if you wrap the baby in a blanket. Try to keep the child cool and sponge him with cold/warm water to bring down the fever with the doctor's advice.    
Accepting your flawsThere are basically two kinds of 'flaws,' one that is physical and the other that is in your personality. A physical 'flaw' like being too short, fat, or darkis never a person's fault. Thus accepting what you are can only boost your self-esteem and confidence. Despite these 'shortcomings,' it is your character and your achievements that stand out in the long run and not the way you look. The first step in creating a better life is accepting if you are wrong! Personality traits and habits are mostly visible to others but not to you. These are those faults that can cause bitterness in relationships or cause problems at work or in our social interactions. Some people lose their temper easily, some are lazy, and some are rude, while some are either introverts or extroverts. If you have flaws that can cause problems for others then the best thing you can do is to change those negative traits in yourself. Character flaws might be natural, but they can affect others negatively. The first thing in making improvements is to analyze yourself. What are you so angry about ? Is it really some other person's fault or that you have had a bad day at the office? Give it a thought and once you find the answers, you will feel relieved. Accept your physical flaws and love yourself for what you are, as this is the key to lasting happiness. Major flaws like alcoholism, splurging money, borrowing money, or addictions are what one should be willing to overcome. If you accept you have any of these major flaws and need help to overcome them, then you need to seek help. There are professionals who can help out, provided you are a willing party to the process. Improvement will come only if you are willing to change. Remember that flaws are easy to acknowledge and to change;the only thing required is the desire within you to do so.
Beating the weight loss plateauThere comes a stage when you stop losing any weight in spite of strict exercise and diet regimen. This is called as weight loss plateau. When calorie intake is reduced along with exercise, the energy required is obtained from stored fat which eventually leads to weight loss. This rate of weight loss slows down and eventually stops once body reaches its set point of metabolism. This set point varies from person to person. So what can you do next? Here are some easy ways to get the weighing scale budging: Modify diet pattern: Metabolism slows down with lowering calorie intake. To reset metabolism, you need to have an adequate amount of calories. This can be done by including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and proteins in diet. More energy is needed to burn proteins than carbohydrates or fats. Eat within half an hour or hour after exercising. Add proteins and carbohydrates to diet. Sip water: Increase total water intake in a day. Drink water before, during and after exercise and throughout the day. Change the workout: Change the exercises you do daily. Muscles get accustomed to a routine workout. Switching exercises and continually challenging helps burn more fat and build lean tissue. Change the type and time or duration of exercise. Try cycling instead of running if you have been doing it for long. Running, swimming, dancing, and Pilates too are good options. Skipping and brisk walking help in burning calories too and break the plateau. In the gym, change the exercise or number of repetitions. If you have been working on machines for long, try weight training or floor exercises. Take rest: Adequate rest is essential for the body to rejuvenate. Muscles, tendons, and ligaments get slight internal and external injuries which can be healed by rest. Proper rest helps repair and regenerate the tissue and makes them strong. Make these changes and get the needle on that weighing scale to budge.
Benefits of meditation: How daily meditation helps you lead a wholesome life Sharper memory: One of the most important cognitive capacities we use daily is our memory. With higher amount of stress on your brain and body due to demands at workplace and home, there is high probability of negative effect on your memory. This can be countered by mindfulness meditation where the focus of attention is a particular physical sensation. This lets you quiet your mind and learn to be attentive solely to the matter at hand, thus allowing your brain to be able to remember more sharply and quickly. Dealing with stress: Stress is the buzzword for anyone who is leading their life in busy cities. Starting from the hurried walk into the office to the pressure of meeting deadlines and reaching home exhausted only to find oneself engrossed in another set of tedious jobs is the condition of daily life for most people. Meditation will allow you to cope with stress in a stronger way by bringing the energies of your body under your control, thus giving you the power to channelize them effectively. Giving up painkillers: Recent medical studies, especially ones conducted in Montreal in 2010, showed how the practice of Zen meditation structures the brain in such a manner that its capacity to sense and deal with pain increases. Primarily practiced by Buddhist monks, Zen is the form of meditation where you focus on your breathing and posture while watching and letting your mind gradually turn quiet. In this way, you can put those pain killers away and increase your innate capacity to deal with pain. Happiness quotient: Prefrontal cortex is the part of brain concerned with positive emotions and feelings. Those who meditate have been seen to have greater activity in this area. Major journals and research institutions focusing on depression and role of meditation in reducing it have found that meditation helps the person to feel in control of their life by subtly changing the working of their brains and thus, resulting in greater capacity to cope with depression and negative feelings. Good for your heart: Two kinds of meditation which are greatly beneficial for smooth working of your heart are Zen and Transcendental meditation. Transcendental meditation, taking after its name, helps you to transcend your worries through attention on chanting. It has been found that meditating daily helps to reduce the chances of stroke and heart attacks by over 40%.
Advantage of the average - Automated continuous blood pressure monitoring technologyAlthough mercury sphygmomanometers (though a deadline is set for them to be phased out due to environmental concerns) are still considered the gold standards, the Aneroid and Digital counterparts represent the future of blood pressure monitoring. The need of long-term blood pressure monitoring arises with disorders and health conditions that demand more attention from the medical teams. Experts say that the fluctuations in BP in conditions like cardiovascular diseases, pregnancy, etc., if tracked at regular intervals, can reduce 22% of risks due to delay and no treatment. This necessity pushed the invention of invasive arterial blood pressure to be used during surgical procedures and further a continuous noninvasive arterial pressure measurement (CNAP) system. There have been multiple researches to overcome some of the roadblocks in measuring the arterial blood pressure in the noninvasive and external approach. Among these developments, the need for measurement of mean blood pressure was felt and the 24-hour BP variation in the patient was taken into account. The 24-hour model eliminates the errors in readings taken during clinic visits due to factors such as fluctuations as a result of white coat fear or after-effects of some stress or exertion. Trendsetting New-age Technology : In 2004, the medical world received the BpTRU non-invasive automatic blood pressure monitoring device. BpTRU devices proved to be a superior and more precise alternative when compared to other manual BP assessment techniques and even other 24-hour ABPM alternatives. The automated oscillometric devices precision and accuracy of assessed BP and heart rate is earmarked with a unique automatic technique - the device records 6 consecutive BP readings of the patient, discards the earliest, and the rest of the five values are put to average function and instantly the resultant mean BP reading flashes on the screen. Compatible with guidelines of American National Standard/Association for the Advancement of Medical Instrumentation (ANSI/AAMI EC13:2002) this is a time-saving, portable, and user-friendly device. A compact and automatic wrist cuff BP monitor, the smart blood pressure monitor that can be synchronized with with Apple’s iOS devices and a Bluetooth connectable and Android compatible blood pressure monitor marks the revolution of CNAP in modern times.
Flash the pearliesRemember the lines from the song, Words? Smile an everlasting smile, a smile can bring you near to me.  Well, ideally, you wouldn't want your teeth to be yellow when you flash that smile. So for those who have shades of yellow on their teeth, here's how you can go back to white. It's first important to understand what causes yellowing of the teeth. Eating habits: Carbonated drinks dissolve teeth enamel. Tea, coffee and other caffeinated drink stain the teeth yellow.In addition, alcohol and cigarette smoking too can stain teeth. Tobacco chewing especially produces stains that are difficult to remove.Food rich in artificial sweeteners are harmful for teeth. They not only make the teeth yellow but also produce cavities. Chocolates, pastries, ice-creams and all such sugar-rich foods are sticky. They stick to teeth and have corroding effect on tooth enamel and dentin and cause yellow teeth, decay and toothache. Oral hygiene: Poor hygiene of oral cavity leads to stains and caries. Take good care of your teeth. Brush teeth twice. Floss them and use a mouthwash. Ageing: Gradual loss of enamel and wear and tear lead to yellow teeth. Medicines: Medicines like iron tablets, tetracycline too can lead to yellow teeth. Injury: Trauma to teeth can sometimes lead to yellowing. This is common amongst kids. Preventing yellowing of teeth Maintain a good dental hygiene. Brush twice for atleast 3-4 minutes. But be gentle while brushing teeth. Gargle every time after you eat.This removes the leftover food particles and keeps the teeth clean. Avoid use of local powders or corrosive substances. They damage enamel. Fruits like apple, cucumber, and carrot act like cleansing agents and keep teeth clean. Fruits like sweet lime are rich in vitamin C and help to keep gums and teeth healthy.
Sex at 50 for womenAs you age, your reflexes slow down. The passion to love and to be loved is never dying and just because you have grown in age, you should not stop enjoying sex. The body, especially in case of women also undergoes many changes after the menopausal period. Although it may take you more time to become aroused but the desire to have sex is always there. Moreover, with no children and no worry of getting pregnant you can enjoy sex uninterrupted without any tension. Women who continue to remain sexually active after their menopause retain their ability for enjoying normal orgasms. But this does not mean that there is no difference in the enjoyment factor. Several factors can be detrimental in continuing sex activity. However, there are solutions that can help the couple in their fifties still enjoy sex. Better sex can be possible even during the fifties but for this, you should be ready to take some extra efforts and make your body more comfortable for sex. Using lubrication After the menopause, the body of a woman starts producing less female hormone-estrogen. Lower estrogen level leads to physical changes such as less elasticity of vagina, dryness in vagina and so on. Your vagina may also take more time to swell and lubricate; in turn making intercourse painful or uncomfortable. Instead of getting discouraged by such occurrence, you should try to find out a remedy for it. For overcoming the dryness of vagina, you can use different sexual lubricants that are specifically prepared for the older women. You get them in suppositories or gel forms, which you apply liberally to the vaginal area before having sex. There are certain vaginal moisturizers also available in the market that makes vaginal penetration easier by maintaining elasticity and lubrication. Increase the frequency The more often you have sex, the easier it is for you to maintain elasticity and lubrication. So, go for it more often to enjoy it more now. Hormonal therapy treatment If you are suffering from distressing menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, you can opt for hormonal therapy treatment. This will help to relieve the vaginal dryness. Some doctors also suggest local intra-vaginal therapy to avoid discomfort and dryness during penetration. Application of local estrogen into the vagina enhances the blood flow to this area and ensures more sensation and lubrication. Intra-vaginal estrogen treatment This treatment is carried out in three different ways: A small ring of silastic is inserted high inside the vagina and is kept there for three months. This ring release estrogen in right amount to promote optimum vaginal health. A small tablet of estrogen is inserted inside the vagina twice in a week. Conjugated estrogen cream is applied with small applicator twice in a week. So, there are different methods for increasing responsiveness, vaginal lubrication and elasticity that help you enjoy sex better even in your fifties. Overcome awareness about your body The body of women in fifties is saggy and wrinkled. However, if you have a young heart and passion for sex, you should not let the body image spoil your enjoyment. It is your response towards your partner that matters the most as both of you are going to age slowly and get more wrinkles as the age progresses. Like someone said, it's the imperfections and not the perfections that we fall in love with.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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