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  MEN`S HEALTH MORE
The mystery of the male mind revealed!
Tips for men wanting flat abs
Aging milestonesChanges in old age depends on attitude as much as person to person. In young old age some changes begin to take place in a person’s appearance. Wrinkles, warts, age spots begin to form on the body. Hair begins to thin or becomes grey and even height lessens because the bone density decreases. While in ‘old‘ old age these changes are already permanent. Men might look distinguished if in good health, but women all look grandmotherly. In ‘young’ old age, cells begin to decay and muscle mass declines and immunity is no longer as strong as it used to be. People lose energy as the age progresses.  ‘Old’ old age brings in a lot of physical decline, profound changes in appearance and motor abilities, as also in sensation. Skin gets less elastic and becomes thin and blood vessels can break under the skin. The senses also begin to become dull. Eye lenses get affected and color perception and reading ability becomes very low. Hearing loss may lead to paranoia and ‘old’ old age people begin to think everyone is plotting against them because they can’t hear properly about what others are saying. Sense of smell also declines, but the taste remains almost intact. In ‘young’ old age, reflexes also slow down and so do the motor abilities. By the time they reach ‘old‘ old age most adults find that their response time has become quite reduced. This can be seen most in driving situations where it is difficult for ‘old‘ old aged adults to operate their vehicles as they have poor spontaneous responses. The ‘young’ old adults do not lose as much of their motor abilities as the ‘old‘ old adults, especially when holding small things like needles and pins. Of course, there are changes in sexuality and there may be a decline in the ability to have sex as men may not have an erection and women become dry due to lack of female hormones. Cognitive decline in 40% to 60% of older adults can be arrested with remedial training. Despite all the changes, most people even in their 70s remain comparatively active if they do not suffer any illness. Mental, physical, and social activity is necessary to maintain the quality of life. Old people begin to withdraw from work and other important roles and allow the younger people to take over. They are a lot happier as is also advised in Vedic literature as vridhashram. While activities are important, disengagement is equally important. Memory loss becomes aggravated and other cognitive abilities begin to decline and there are many ‘old‘ old adults who get Alzheimer’s and lose the ability to look after themselves. Old people also dwell on questions of death and sometimes go through a phase of denial and then anger that they have so little time left. Acceptance of death comes, but after a struggle and the idea of losing the family saddens them. Old people require support in their declining years as they begin to lose their faculties.
Fashion tips for tall menRead on for the few tips which shall help you strike that perfect look always! No more tears for the "trousers" Trousers for tall men that you get in the market are too ill-fitting. They end up making you look "Too big for your pants", or "Too thin for your pants". The easy solution would be to choose a brand for your trousers, after proper research, and stick to it. Your quick checkpoints in this case can be: Your large thigh areas always make you look humongous. Hence, try to get a good and appropriate fit for your thighs. A small amount of flare in your lower legs can give you a good look, but that should go well with the texture and look of the trouser. Last but not the least, avoid loose fitting, or baggy pants. They will just make you look too thin, and tall always. Scare away the " shirt" hassles Have you picked up a T-shirt which lets your waistline be visible, the moment you move your hand a bit? That's a usual problem every tall guy faces. Try a few of these solutions, and see the results: If you are a tall and bulky person, then pick up a long double XL T-shirt, fitting you well. If you are a thin and tall person, then pick up a T-shirt which is long enough for your height, and then get it tailored for the perfect fit. Polo neck T-shirts can make you look too skinny. Try to get a formal shirt which fits you well, and is long enough to be worn tucked in. For tall people, tucking in the shirt helps them flaunt their height pretty well. You can also try and get the formal shirt fitted by a tailor, if you find it too big for your size. Forget the "Jacket" jeopardy Jackets and waist coats are the biggest gifts for all the tall guys out there. But how, and what to wear is the major turning point here as well. Complete your formal look with a waist coat. This shall make you look well built, and compliment your height as well. Blazers can be an option, for both the formal and informal look. Pick up a blazer which fits your broad shoulders well. A jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket can be a killer combination. Go for earthy colors, as they give you a more masculine look compared to other colors. Tipping the "Tie"& Bolting the "Belts" Try to match the right clothes with the right accessories. Let's start off with the tie. Now, for tall men, getting a tie will be a pain. Always try the tie you are buying, and see if it comes till your waistline. You should also try to pick up a bit broader ties, as they make your chest look broader. When it comes to belts, try to pick up the big, horizontal buckles. Choose simple, horizontal buckles for the formal wear. For the informal look, however, you can experiment with other big buckles available. Watches Tall men with long hands and fingers should try to wear a big dial watch. This gives your fingers and arms a bulky look. Choose colors like gray, and black most of the time, as it makes you look more masculine. So, a few simple steps can make you flaunt your height. As the saying goes: "Wear your style; do not search for it in the stores. Your attitude is what matters the most to complete your look."
  WOMEN`S HEALTH MORE
Common menopausal symptoms and self-help tips
Excellent exercise options during pregnancy
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
Pamper the newborn without forgetting yourselfIf you are a new mom, chances are you are busy 24/7. The baby's complete dependence on you helps you bond with him/her and makes you aware of the responsibility that is now on you. But, your own health is an equally important responsibility. So, you need to give yourself permission to take care, or even pamper yourself from time to time. Here are simple ways for you to look out for yourself. Eat your favorite breakfast: As your day starts, you need fuel to keep your energy levels high. So, grab your hands on healthy and tasty breakfast options like whole grain cereal, skim milk and sliced strawberries or a banana. The combination of lean protein, whole-grain foods, and nutrient-rich fruit allows the brain to form more feel-good chemicals. Don't let stress come near you: We know that a lot of changes in your life have transpired, due to the entry of a baby in your world. The difficulty to cope with the changes may cause stress and depression. Try to avoid stress by asking for your husband's and relatives' support. Take a walk with your baby: Walking with your baby in nearby parks will give you fresh air and it is an excellent form of exercise. Don't be sleep deprived: Having a baby doesn't mean that you have to always sacrifice your sleep. Never miss an opportunity to sleep or take rest. This will keep your energy levels high for the day. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Delegate baby care: Parenting is not your sole responsibility. Ask your husband to lend a hand in taking care of the baby for some time. Not just the husband, if you live in a joint family, you can ask other relatives for help as well. Don't be a multi-tasking person: We know a woman has so many roles to play. But, it doesn't always have to be that way. Being a new mom, you must focus on one activity at a time. You can prioritize your tasks, if you have a lot of things to do. Exercise regularly: Add exercise to your daily routine. Choose the exercise which you love and enjoy, like walking, cycling, yoga, swimming or aerobic dance. Consult a doctor before starting any exercise program.    
  KIDS CARE MORE
5 Ideas to make reading fun for your kids
Tips for teens to lose flab and look fab
Are you there for your teenage children?You must be there for your adolescent children so that they know who to turn to when they are confused. Being there does not necessarily mean your physical presence, but even the rules, boundaries, and standards of behavior you might have set should be able to guide them. When the teenager comes under peer pressure, then these rules may help them make the right choices. Teenagers live in fear They are frightened of their teachers, their friends; they are frightened of being mocked at or not being able to cope. They are dealing with a lot of issues, so when they come home, show them you care. They don't need parents screaming and shouting at them about their conduct or studies. The moment they come in, you should greet them with a smile, no matter what your feelings are otherwise. Don't expect your teenage children to be adults because they are still growing. Family is always important Most people think that teenagers no longer need the love, warmth, and support of the family. Your child might be a teenager,not a child to hold hands and show them the way, but they do need your support. A family works like an anchor that can pull back a teenager from being drifted away. Engage them.Speak to them regarding their likes and dislikes, the pressures they feel at studies, among other things. This could help them from the intense emotional turmoil they may be going through. Equation changes As a child you could cuddle your children, scold them, nurture and guide them, but as teenagers the equation might change. You may not cuddle your teenage child, but a warm hug now and then or a pat on the shoulder is enough to let them know that you love them just the same. Listen to them when they share an opinion. They want to prove themselves so follow their advice if it's reasonable so they feel they are an important part of the family and their opinions do matter. Don't treat your teenage children with suspicion.It will drive them away!! Moody If your teenage child is moody and uncommunicative, it does not mean that they don't need their family. It's just that friends might have taken precedence in their lives. Just the feeling that they have your support may encourage them to take their independent decisions. Information It is important to inform your teenage child regarding alcohol, drugs, and sex. However, you must also know they could experiment. So tell them about the dangers, and if they still make a mistake, then be there and do not abandon them. Help them get through the crisis. Teenage behavior Sometimes teenagers can behave erratically. It could be difficult to know if this is teenage moodiness or something more serious. As a parent you need to watch out for this and find out indirectly about what is troubling them. They might not open up immediately, but if you are around when they feel like chatting, they could let you know what is troubling them.
Dehydration: Prevention and curePlaying outside is great for the child's physical as well mental development. But if your child has spent the entire day outside and comes back with fever, diarrhea, or vomiting, and is sweating a lot, then watch out for the signs of dehydration. What is dehydration? Dehydration means abnormal loss of water from the body, especially from illness or physical exertion. Under normal conditions we all lose some body water through sweat, urine, and tears. Kids lose large amount of water and salt from body during fever, diarrhoea, vomiting, or long hours of physical activity or exercise without any water intake. How do I know it is dehydration? If your child has any of the fever, diarrhoea, vomiting or is sweating a lot on hot days then watch for these signs: Sunken eyes Dry or sticky mouth Dark urine or lack of urine output Tiredness, lethargy, irritability or fatigue How can I prevent dehydration? The best way to prevent dehydration is to ensure the child drinks plenty of fluids when they are sick or physically active. Get your kid in the habit of drinking enough water before he/she even feels thirsty.If it is very hot, explain to the kids the benefits of drinking water frequently. If possible, avoid going out in the sun. Give your kids a well-balanced meal to be sure that they are getting all the adequate nutrients. What if my kid gets dehydrated? If the kid is below 1 year, care should be taken to breast feed the baby often. If the dehydration is due to vomiting, feed small amounts frequently for it to absorb in between the vomiting episodes. Give a spoonful of ORS solution every 10 minutes to replace the lost fluids. For kids above 1 year, start with plain water initially when the kid complains of thirst. Later the kids may need drinks containing sugar and electrolytes. Also, the child should be made to rest at home in a cool environment until the lost fluid has been replaced. Once the child is rehydrated, resume to normal routine and diet.
  MENTAL HEALTH MORE
6 Common causes of fatigue
Tips to handle success gracefully
What is megalomania?Bertrand Russell's quote on megalomania perfectly describes the condition:"The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history." Megalomania is a delusional bipolar disorder. The sufferer believes he is an all-powerful person and that he is superior to all other people. Megalomania comes from the Greek words megalo which means large or great and mania which means madness. It is a psychopathological disorder that has delusional fantasies of power, exaggerated self esteem and a sense of omnipotence. The sufferer may believe he is God or some famous athlete. Although megalomania is a term used for power hungry people, it is clinically described under the mental disorder of narcissism. Narcissism is self-love. Though self-love is a healthy concept, narcissism is a pathological state where one loves oneself to the extent that he starts despising others. Megalomania is caused by certain phobias and mental conditions associated with emotions and personality. In everyday life, megalomania can be a person's mental way of reacting to frustration, abandonment or some serious loss. In the social world, the term megalomaniac is often synonymous with control freaks, power-drunk army generals, executives and politicians. The treatment of megalomania includes medications. The challenge here is that the person may not believe he has anything wrong with him. He, in fact, believes that he is so great that no harm can come to him, so talking him into getting himself treated is very difficult. Adolf Hitler, the German dictator, was a power-hungry control freak. He believed that he was the supreme commander and that his race was the only race suited to inhabit earth. All other races, especially Jews, were inferior and had to be wiped off the face of the earth. Adolf Hitler was megalomaniac.
CryophobiaCold or hot can be a very subjective term as every person's tolerance for either heat or cold can vary. When some of us react in an extreme manner to all things cold, then it could be a case of cryophobia - the fear of catching cold or the fear of cold weather. Derived from the Greek "kryos" + phobos gives us cryophobia, which is a mental aberration where the mind develops a nagging and persistent fear of all things cold - be it cold weather, ice-cream, or maybe even a cold shoulder! Jokes apart, a person suffering from this condition could really experience 'hot weather' in his relationships as he will completely avoid any contact with anything cold. If the weather is a bit nippy then that's a veritable disaster for Mr. 'Avoid De Cold' as he will do everything in his power to stay indoors, for instance - turn on the central heating and wrap himself up until the mercury rises to an agreeable level. Though it is decidedly different from your run-of-the mill phobias, cryophobia could be of various types. There are some who are only afraid of cold in the 'weather' sense and are otherwise cool about touching cold objects or even having an ice-cream. While there are some who would probably break out into, if you will excuse the term, 'cold sweat,' even while watching floating icebergs on a Nat-Geo documentary. So, the sensation of cold is quite subjective, and hence the various strains of cryophobia. Generally, this fear would manifest quite logically for those who have occasioned to be trapped under ice accidently or maybe those who have suffered frost bite from exposure to cold weather during a skiing holiday. Under such circumstances, avoidance, though irrational, could be perfectly logical. If you monitor weather reports constantly and experience discomfort even in moderate climates, then you should get yourself checked for cryophobia, as chances are that soon you will be restricting yourself indoors and cutting yourself off from the rest of the world. Some people might just overcome fear or anxiety by wearing an extra layer of the woolens or turning up the central heating. For deep seated fears, it may require long-term counseling or medication. Some people might just have this morbid fear of developing pneumonia from a common cold and hence may take elaborate measures to avoid going out during cold days. This too can be quite normal since most of us don't want to call a day off from work due to a nasty cold. But despite adequate protection if you are still afraid of venturing out to work or are avoiding social contact just because of an irrational fear of catching cold when the weather outside is made for the beach and you are in the middle of summer! Then the catchphrase is - You have cryophobia!
  BEAUTY AND FITNESS MORE
Interesting food facts
Fighting obesity with tasty food: 5 Fatty foods which burn fat
5 tips to reduce your salt intakeSalt is an inevitable part of our food, but added salt has harmful effects on the body. The list of benefits in reducing sodium/salt intake in our diet runs long, ranging from lower blood pressure, in turn leading to reduced risks of heart disease, obesity, and diseases of the kidney. The daily sodium intake of an individual should not exceed 1500-2300 mg per day (a table spoon of salt approximately), and this needs to be maintained in the salt added to our food, including the processed food and drinks we buy. Sodium, an indispensable component of our diet, is consumed in excess by most of us. Follow the tips, as mentioned below, to curb your daily salt intake. Avoid added salt. Do not add salt to already cooked food while eating. Keep a diary and make a list of foods with salt in them that you eat daily. Do not forget to add pickles, spices, papads, salted biscuits, and salted nuts. All of these are highly loaded with salt. Next time you go shopping read the labels. Choose low-salt options-sauces, crackers, khakhra, instead of papad. Make an attempt to eat less canned and processed foods. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables over processed food. Eat less bread. Each bread slice has about 250 mg of sodium. Do not mistake bread to be healthy. Next time, keep this in mind when you go out to eat pizza. Pizza base is like bread. While cooking food, make it a point to add salt only towards the end in the recipe. This way you will need to add lesser salt. Sodium content of some foods Bread (one slice) - 250mg Cheese pizza: 450 - 1200mg Tomato soup: 350 - 1000mg Potato chips: 100 - 150mg
Fruit diet can be dangerousFruits are healthy and provide lots of nutrition, vitamins, antioxidants, carbohydrates, fibre and bioflavanoids to the body.These things together protect your body from different health conditions and heart disease. However if you only eat fruit, you miss many other essential nutrients such as fats and protein. This can upset your stomach and lead to indigestion. Hence it is very important to take a well-balanced diet to remain healthy. Check out why you should not rely solely on fruits for living. Fruits do not provide protein Protein is highly important for your growth and development. By eating only fruits, you are restricting your intake of proteins that can stop your overall development process. Your body requires calories and energy on a regular basis. Each cell of your body contains protein. To keep your body cells in top working condition it is important that you include protein-rich foods such as lentils, soy products,  nuts and beans in your regular diet. You can also consume low-fat dairy, lean meat, fish and skinless poultry to provide required amount of protein to your body. Fruits do not provide fat Although excess of fat is not good for health, it is essential that your body requires on daily basis to ensure smooth functioning of your immune system and also to help your body absorb various minerals and vitamins provided by other foods like fruit. If you continue being a fruitarian for long duration, the chances of stroke due to brain haemorrhage increases. According to health experts, you should get around 20 to 35 percent of your daily calories from fat. To provide your body with good fats you should include soybean, sunflower, olive or canola oil in your diet. Fish and poultry also provide good amount of healthy fats to the body. Too much of fruits can lead to digestive problems Fruits provide fibres to the body in large amounts. Although your body needs fibre as it is one of the essential nutrients, getting too much of fibre can lead to side effects. Fibre works as broom to clear of your abdomen and aid in the digestion process. However, too much of fibre leads to stomach problems and cause symptoms such as gas, cramps and bloating. Sometimes it may also lead to chronic diarrhoea, dehydration and loose stools. On a regular basis, a woman requires only 22 to 28 gm of fiber per day and a man needs 34 to 38 gm. Apart from fruits, seeds, vegetables and whole grains also provide fibre to the body. Other considerations If you limit your intake to fruits, you may not get enough calories required for producing the required amount of energy. Consuming calories less than 1100 per day can lead to lot of side-effects such as intolerance to cold, gallstones, hair loss and fatigue. So although fruits taste wonderful and are very tempting, being a fruitarian is not the best thing for your health. Your body needs all the nutrients for carrying out its different activities and hence you should include variety of foods in your diet.  
  LIFESTYLE PROBLEMS MORE
Common causes behind the bloated belly with tips to beat the bloating
Safeguard yourself against high blood pressure
A quick guide to high blood pressureWhat is blood pressure? Blood pressure is the force or pressure exerted by blood on the walls of arteries while flowing through it. What is normal? A blood pressure value of 120/80 mm Hg is ideally said to be the normal. The upper value (systolic) reads the pressure when the heart beats (squeezes to pump the blood). The lower value (diastolic) computes pressure at rest in between the heartbeats when the heart refills with blood. What is hypertension or high blood pressure? The condition in which the pressure of blood in the arteries is persistently high.More the pressure, harder the heart has to work to pump the blood. The prolonged and too high blood pressure (BP) raises the heart's work persistently and can lead to grave damage to the arteries. This eventually leads to uncontrolled high blood pressure raising the risk of heart disease, stroke, and kidney disease in the long run.A blood pressure above 130/90 mm Hg is said to be high. What are the symptoms of hypertension? Hypertension can go unnoticed without any symptoms and thus remain untreated for years altogether. Thus, it is also called as silent killer sometimes. What causes hypertension? The cause of hypertension is unknown in most of the cases. Sometimes, hypertension occurs secondary to kidney disease or adrenal gland disease. Who are at risk of getting high BP? The risk of developing high blood pressure is more in people above the age of 45, those who have close relatives already suffering from hypertension, and who have history of diabetes, Many people consistently have blood pressure above normal, yet not so high to be called as hypertension (130-140 /80-90). These people are at more risk of developing hypertension. Is salt and blood pressure are related? Sodium content of salt causes water retention thus putting more burden on heart and raising blood pressure. So watch the foods you eat for sodium content and stick to a low-sodium diet. Stress and high blood pressure Stress can increase the blood pressure, but no scientific facts to suggest that it causes hypertension. Stress can lead to addictions, poor diet, lack of sleep which can indirectly contribute to high blood pressure and heart disease. Obesity and hypertension Obesity strains heart and raises the risk. Losing every kilo makes a huge difference. Alcohol  Alcohol can surely raise blood pressure and limiting it mandatory. Pregnancy and hypertension High blood pressure during pregnancy is called as gestational hypertension. It can cause serious complications like preeclampsia. It can harm both the mother and baby. It can compromise oxygen flow to the baby. The blood pressure normalizes after child's birth. Medicines and hypertension Some medicines, like pain killers, birth control pills, steroids, flu medicines etc. can cause the blood pressure to rise. Be careful with the medications. Avoid over-the-counter medications and take doctor's advice before consuming any medicine. "White coat" phenomenon Some people show high blood pressure in doctor's clinic due to nervousness. This is called as white coat phenomenon. These people are at risk of developing high blood pressure. Kids and hypertension Kids who are obese and have a family history are more at risk. How to control high blood pressure? Eat healthy: Eat more fresh fruits, vegetables, whole-grain foods, low-fat dairy products, and nuts. Say no to sweets, saturated fats, and excess salt. Exercise: Regular physical activity lowers blood pressure. Atleast 150 minutes of exercise per week is essential. Activities like brisk walking, swimming, cycling or gardening, all count. Reduce stress: Add yoga, meditation, deep breathing. All have proven to lower the blood pressure and keep it normal. Hypertension is usually a chronic life-long condition. It's very essential to take medications, make lifestyle changes and regularly monitor blood pressure. Keeping it under checkwillreducethe potential riskof heart disease, kidney diseases, and stroke.
How to communicate with a patient who has a strokeThe first and the most important thing to communicate with the patient, is to give undivided attention. Give attention to his activities, gestures, his facial expressions through which he may try to communicate so his feelings could be understood. Eye contact is also important but the patient having stroke may look at you square in the eyes but he may not respond to your conversation. While communicating with the patient you should always stand in front and tune out all the other sights and sounds in the room. Maintain full silence around the patient in the room, turn down the volume of the television, radio and ask other people in the room to be silent. You may communicate with the patient by making contact by touching the hand, chin, cheek or areas which are not affected by stroke. As the side which is affected by stroke, does not have any sensations. You may communicate with the patient through his family member by telling the family member to communicate with patient by saying, "Look at my face"; through this we can gain the patient's concentration. You should always speak clearly with the patient in a normal soft volume. Express your ideas in simple terms, form simple sentences, do not use complex words. You may repeat the sentences or an important term again. For example to ask if the patient wants tea, repeat the word 'tea'. More complex thoughts can also be similarly conveyed and repeated. You may also use hand gestures with clarification like doing Hello by waving your hand or through your hand action, you may ask questions like, How are you? Are you ok? What do you want? Through this both caregiver and stroke patient can benefit. You may ask your patient to point out whatever he wants or if he needs anything. And gradually he will develop the habit of pointing the daily items like television, newspaper, remote, eyeglasses radio, drapes an uncomfortable foot, the patient can indicate any pain or headache. Through this communication we can make the patient learn, use mechanical lifts to get in and out of the bed, and with the help of the attendant by demonstrating the patient how to use it. Sometimes when the communication does not work, take a break, give it time and try again, do not get frustrated and reassure the patient that yes, he or she can do it. Good communication with the patient is very important as they cannot speak their basic wants and needs clearly. The patients suffered a stroke also have slurred speech. There is a deviation of the angle of mouth. They are mostly bed ridden and could not carry out the routine activities.
  Sexual Health MORE
5 Benefits of masturbation
12 foods which are pulling down your sexual drive
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
Painful intercourseSome of the causes affecting women can be: Going too fast, penetrating from an awkward position. Do not hesitate to tell your partner that it hurts and he needs to slow down or change position in order to make you comfortable and prevent pain. Dry vagina or lack of natural lubrication in the vagina. This dry vagina is caused due to some medications, changes at the menopause. Sometimes just increasing the time of foreplay can help vaginal lubrication. Use water-based lubricant to reduce pain. Failure to fire off. Sometimes failure of the vagina and uterus to respond to sexual arousal can lead to irritation and tenderness. The vagina may be too tight for the intercourse sometimes or the uterus may not be raised so that the penis comes in contact with the cervix during penetration. Using other penetration methods can be helpful to explore the level of arousal before engaging in intercourse. Vaginismus can be the cause of discomfort. Muscles surrounding vagina are sometimes very tight and lead to pain and intercourse to be painful. Woman can examine herself with her fingers to see if vaginal walls are tighter than normal. It can be vaginismus. Normal cause is nervousness or anxiety. It is reversible. Good foreplay before intercourse will help to relax the muscles and help lubricate. Just relaxing before the act can be helpful. Vaginal infection and inflammation due to yeast, herpes, etc. can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fabrics, creams, perfumes may cause irritation in area in some women. Avoid these. First-time sex can be a little painful. Rupture of the hymen can cause discomfort during penetration. Start slowly or begin with forms of penetration other than intercourse. Psychological pain. Sexually traumatic experiences or feelings of guilt associated with sex can make the act painful. Consult a sex therapist or psychiatrist. Discomfort during intercourse is experienced by men too, various causes affecting this outcome for men are: Tight foreskin. During first attempt at intercourse, tight foreskin will make retraction painful. After sometime, the foreskin will become loose and make intercourse comfortable. Any lesion on the penis skin can make intercourse painful. These may result from non-lubricated masturbation or rapid intercourse or STDs. The blisters due to herpes infection can make intercourse extremely painful.
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