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Fairness scream: The new male obsession"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?" The words at once evoke images of the evil queen as she strikes a vain pose at the looking glass. However, these days one needs to be more accommodating and make way for a preening gent to put forth the above query. All these days, fairness would be a quality an Indian male would look for in his wife. Just see the Fair & Lovely ads to know what we mean. But today, this very obsession has turned on itself. More and more men are being just as exacting about their own skin color, complexion and tone as their female counterparts. Just take a look at all those TV commercials where celebrity endorsements dangle the bait of fairness creams, lotions and body wash specially designed for teenagers and young men seeking to take them to the promised land of social and sexual success. But before you rush to buy that cream, here's what that fairness is all about Fairness is skin cell deep Fair, ruddy, dark or wheatish is all determined primarily by the melanin content in our skin cells. Some races like the Africans have a high melanin content thereby giving them a dark colour while Europeans are of a lighter skin colour due to low melanin content. So whether you use an expensive fairness cream or go in for beauty treatments at luxurious beauty spas, genetics will have a final say on the matter. How fairness creams work...or do they? Fairness creams contain chemicals which block the production of melanin in the skin and thus enable a lighter skin tone and a fairer complexion. Mostly melanin production in men is more than females, which is why women's fairness creams don't have so much of an effect on men. The cosmetic industry recognized this factor and thus developed products designed for the male skin. However, some of these "men's only" fairness brands are glorified sunblock creams which block the harmful ultra violet radiation of the sun which blackens the skin. The dark side of fair Some of the beauty treatments and fairness creams contain chemicals like hydroquinone, mercury, and even steroids, which could do more harm than good. If you are obsessed about fairness, the least you could do is use a branded product (though that is no guarantee of its efficacy!). First sample it to check of it suits your skin. If a rash breaks out, consult a skin specialist immediately. Finally, it is the health of the skin which is more important than colour. So exercise regularly or use natural skin treatments like orange peels, cucumber patches to enhance your skin tone. Don't give in to peer pressure. The obsession for fairness can lead to low self-esteem and needless rivalry. Cosmetologists and marketers of fairness products are the only ones who will laugh their way to the bank at your cost. So, if you have a darker skin colour you don't have to go in for expensive remedies just because men in your age group find it cool. Self-acceptance is much better remedy than any beauty treatment in the world.  
Handling post retirement bluesYou have given the best years of your life to your career, and now it's time to say goodbye and get ready for the retired life. It is a phase laden with expectations of all things you were too busy to do while working - spending more time with family, going on that fishing expedition, or going on leisure trips around the world. However, despite the wonderful things to come, retirement can get unusually trying and mentally taxing. After all, how many of us really have the flexibility of mind to take this period as a challenge and be the master of our destinies? Just because you are retired doesn't mean you have to wither away and wait for death to claim you. So, here's what you can do to beat the retirement blues Catching up: This is really a bewildering time, as you have a lot of catching up to do, with a lot of things. Prioritize the things you want to do and proceed confidently. You may want to spend time with children, spouse, friends, etc. Go easy on yourself, as you may not be able to fit in as many things in your schedule all at the same time. Boost your self-esteem: Retirement is particularly trying for those who have occupied important positions in office. Such people are known to throw tantrums, as they feel less wanted than before. So don't ever make the mistake of treating your family like you treated subordinates at work. That was a role that you played then, and without reducing your importance or self-esteem you can now play a different role with your family as a friend, philosopher and guide. In fact, you can use your contacts and keep the old network alive by involving youth in your field of expertise and help them benefit from you. Catch up on exercise: The more physically fit you are the less likely that retirement will be a painful process. Perfect time for you to catch up on the fun times with your spouse to remind you of all the great times you have had all these years. If your spouse is not in the best of health then just being together is such a wonderful experience in the golden years. Financial health: Your peace of mind and self-esteem largely depend on how independent you are financially. You can take up a part time job or think of innovative ways to let your hobbies and interests generate money for you. This should be an enjoyable process by which your self-esteem can really benefit. Support groups: There are informal or formal associations of retired people that do various activities like travelling. Make yourself available to them. Sometimes retired people withdraw into a shell and that only makes things worse. These support groups give a fresh perspective on all things in life.
Marrying late in lifeConventionally, the marriage age is determined according to the linear formula of happiness that we have constructed and believe to be true. The formula being: getting married by 24 --> having children by 27 --> working (optional) --> becoming a grandparent (that too, real soon!). However, time and again, men and women wandering in their 40s-50s have woken up from the deep disturbed slumber to realize that maybe- just maybe, they had walked into things too fast. They had been unable to know who they are and to become a self-conscious human being before being ready to fuse their lives with another. The prime point of being single and marrying later in life is not to go on some form of egoistic joy-trip but to be able to know oneself and become ready to be the right person for the other. By marrying late, you give yourself time to experience freely what you like and dislike. You get to explore the world at your own terms- travel whenever you want and involve yourself in festivals and activities that manifest who you are. Marrying early doesn't allow for time to explore one's being, as marriage generally immediately follows the time you finish your studies or begin working. One of the most important aspects of adulthood today is travelling. However, every individual has unique wants of travelling and being a single adult will allow you to experience the world fully. You will also get in touch with yourself, exploring how you would like to live. The decision will arise from a ground of experiences which would clearly tell you what repels and what appeals to you. Such experiences are rarely findable once you begin living with another, as you would have to schedule your days and basically, your routine around the other's life as well. Financially, you have reached a point where you know how to take care and manage finances, allowing you to plan your wedding pragmatically. Marrying at a later point in your life allows you to be clear about when you would like to be a parent. Your experiences also ready you to be a considerate and understanding parent who can guide a child. As you grow older, you tend to become more tolerant and the propensity towards differences turning into unnecessary fights is lowered. As our ways of looking at the world change, every person as an individual has the need to learn to see the world as a home. This feeling of being at home is created only through series of experiences one has to go through as a responsible adult. In the face of inexperience, two individuals coming together often find themselves incapable of being happy with one another. Marrying later allows you to have grown into a wiser person yourself before sharing your life with another.
Dilemma of a working woman - How to stay healthy!Women want to be healthy and beautiful. But most of us are not able to find the time to exercise or plan our meals. We pay more attention and money on therapies to look good externally. But good looks come from good health, and good health is an outcome of a healthy lifestyle. Healthy lifestyle helps in preventing illnesses and makes us more efficient. Improper and irregular diet, lack of physical activity, and stress are the chief causes of poor physical and mental health. Most working women today are occupied with their desk jobs, and as a result have a sedentary lifestyle. Eating junk food most of the times makes the matter worse. So if you want to stay healthy, here are some changes you can make. Add movement to life. Activities like walking, gardening, swimming or aerobics help build endurance and relieve stress. Choose something which you think you can consistently - Yoga, aerobics, cycling or even dancing. Balanced diet plays a pivotal role in fitness. Fruits, vegetables, and whole grains are a must in your diet. Antioxidants in fruits have an anti-ageing effect. Choose to eat in order to satisfy hunger and build healthy body, and not to feed your emotions. Avoid junk and processed food. They are empty calories. Drink water. Dehydration affects metabolism. Drink 8-10 glasses a day to flush out the toxins. Add liquids like milk, fruit juices to your diet. Positive thoughts help build a healthy mind and a healthy mind ensures healthy body. Do not smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol to deal with stress. Try yoga, meditation, listen to music, or take a nice shower to relax. Rest and relaxation helps to cope with daily stress. Making these lifestyle changes as a regimen will surely help working women to live a life of health, wellness and fitness.  
Is circumcision a healthy ritual?Religious rituals and practices have been carried out since ancient times. Circumcision is a religious ritual that involves surgical removal of the prepuce of the human penis. Prepuce is the foreskin of the penis and during the procedure; the person performing the ritual opens, inspects and separates it from the glans. The process is painful and hence local or topical anesthesia is used to reduce physiological stress and pain. Circumcision is performed for religious as well as personal reasons and many times recommended medically for prophylactic or therapeutic reasons as well. Today's medical science makes use of this treatment for treating chronic urinary tract infections, refractory balanoposthitis and pathological phimosis. Circumcision is performed as ritual in many parts of the world. However, it is also recommended medically as protection against HIV infection. Circumcision-Is it Legal and Ethical? In the world over, the ritual or practice of circumcision is carried out on all types of people from neonatal stage to adulthood. While no significant risks have been noticed due to the practice of this ritual, rather some modest health benefits have come to the fore. The World Health Organization has recommended circumcision for male infants in parts of Africa where the children are more vulnerable to urinary tract infections. However, no other medical organization in the world has supported or banned the procedure. Over past few years, legal and ethical questions have been making rounds and many believe that consent should be taken before carrying out neonatal circumcision. HIV and Circumcision Benefits A Cochrane meta-analysis conducted in 2009 on sexually active African men have revealed that the ritual of circumcision reduces the risk rate of HIV infection by 38 to 66 percent among heterosexual men in a period of 24 months. That is why WHO has recommended circumcision in sub-Saharan African areas having high rates of HIV infection as a part of the comprehensive HIV program. Moreover, this process is more cost-effective as compared to other treatments and preventive measures recommended for HIV. Circumcision reduces the risk rate of HSV-2 infections and oncogenic HPV prevalence along with the risk of penile cancer and UTIs. Until now, there have been no concluding reports on the protective effects circumcision offers against other types of sexually transmitted infections. Circumcision is also recommended medically to children suffering from pathological phimosis and refractory balanoposthitis. Contraindications The literature worldwide review conducted in 2010 reveals that around 1.5 percent of the newborns face median complication when the process of circumcision is performed by trained medical providers. Only 6 percent children face severe complications with the common complications being infection, bleeding or removal of too little or too much of foreskin. However, the process does not cause any negative impact on the sexual functioning of an individual. Contraindications due to circumcision are also cited in infants having genital structure abnormalities right from the birth such as misplaced urethral opening, ambiguous genitalia or chordae. In such cases, the foreskin may require reconstruction through surgery.  It is contraindicated in premature babies and clinically unstable infants and it should also be avoided in children with family history of hemophilia (bleeding disorders). In such patients, it is important that the blood should be checked for its coagulation properties before attempting the procedure.
Cranky kids in a diner? dealing with them made a bit easy!This has happened to many a parent. They make a reservation at a fine dining restaurant, perhaps with friends and relatives. But their kid screams, and cries,disturbing the entire restaurant, and spoiling the general mood. For this reason, many parents avoid going out altogether, especially to fancy places. But there are ways in which you can handle the toddler when you are at a restaurant. We will show you how. Carry toys Restaurant may be boring at times for toddlers. That's why they turn peevish and may start playing with forks, spoons or knife. So carry some toys, crayons, notebooks, or even a story book, which will keep them busy and you can have a good time. Order something yummy and healthy for the kid A hungry kid is an angry kid. So, order something which is your kid's favorite and also healthy at the same time. Or you can carry something along with you like fruits breads, cherries or other nutritious treats. Keep responding to what kid says The best way to keep childrenwell behavedis to talk to them and respond whenever the child speaks. Don't avoid them or get too engrossed with other people. They get cranky when they don't get a response from you. Take a round with your kid When the kid becomes difficult to handle, just pick him in your arms and take a mini tour of the restaurant or walk outside. This will distract him and relieve his boredom. Don't tolerate any bad behavior If the bad behavior of the kids is intolerable, then firmly tell them that they need to adopt good manners if they want to visit restaurants again. Disturbing other diners is not acceptable. But it doesn't mean that you punish them.You just have to remove them to a place where they don't bother anyone. Make your outing relaxed and enjoyable Above all, don't forget to have fun and make it an enjoyable evening. Don't get too carried away disciplining the kid. You can afford to be a bit silly and enjoy the time with your child.
Cleanliness - A clean body, clean mindPhysical Benefits: Killing of Germs: Disinfecting your living area allows negligible scope for breeding and spreading of germs and bacteria. Though not visible to your eyes, many of these can cause severe illnesses. Prevention of Food Contamination: Clean cooking utensils and counter tops allow for low risk for contamination of food. The parts of the utensils which have come in contact with fish, raw meat, or eggs are recommended to be washed with hot water and soap. Make sure you wash your hands to avoid spreading of any bacteria in your house.  Keeps Illnesses and Allergies at Bay: Many allergies could be caused due to dirty mattresses, carpets, sheets, walls, and furniture. In order to keep away mold, dust mites, cobwebs, and mildew, make sure you dust, mop, and vacuum the house on a regular basis. The sheets should be washed at least once a week with hot water and detergent. Floors and walls, wardrobes, and refrigerator should be cleaned using disinfectant sprays up to 2 to 3 times per month. Thoroughly clean your carpet and upholstery at regular intervals. Psychological Benefits: Association of Non-Cleanliness with Moral Lapse: In a review by Current Directions in Psychological Science, it has been found that physical cleanliness does not only physically benefit a being, it also results in weighing the person on a moral radar. When we perceive a physical contamination, we respond in the same way as we would in case of an act of moral disobedience. This response includes repulsion and disgust accompanied by their behavioural components like scowling and frowning. Sense of Accomplishment: Those who clean their house and living space have been found to have a consequent sense of accomplishment that adds to the way one feels about oneself. Clarity and Organization of Thoughts: It has been discovered that those living in a clean and neat environment tend to have a greater capacity to think than those who live in a messy and unclean atmosphere. Proactive Sanitation Teaching for Children: Start with your own home. A child emulates its parents, and if the parents practice cleanliness as part of their lives, children would notice and follow suit. Children tend to connect who they are with their home environment and as they grow up they ensure that such a cleanliness of their world around is maintained.  towards their immediate surroundings, thus ensuring that they do not contribute towards pollution and environmental degradation, at least on an individual level.
Crossing the smoke screenWhy should someone quit smoking? Smoking is probably the worst sedentary lifestyle habit that we pick up. Quitting smoking changes everything right from the way you feel, taste and smell, your breath smells better and even your cough goes away. Quitting smoking cuts down the risk of cancer, stroke, neuropathy, heart disease and breathing disorders like bronchitis, pneumonia, and emphysema. Not just that, quitting saves money too... just one of the many financial rewards of quitting. Quit Smoking Tips Write down the reasons you want to quit for, and how it will benefit you: for e.g. live longer, feel better, family safety, save money, smell better, find a soul mate easily, etc. You know what's bad about smoking and you know what you'll get by quitting. Read the list daily. Ask for help from your family and friends. Help and support of family and friends without being judgmental helps a lot. You need their support when you become irritable and even irrational while you withdraw from your smoking habit. Set a Deadline. Set a quit date when you will extinguish forever. Prepare a plan. Talk with doctor and take his support and guidance. Exercise. Exercise helps relieve stress and recovers body from damage caused due to cigarettes. Start slow and increase up to 30 to 40 minutes. Begin to breathe. Daily deep breathing for 5-15 minutes will help cleanse the respiratory system and provide more oxygen repairing the damage caused to respiratory system and help cope with withdrawal symptoms. Do not quit abruptly. Cut down on cigarettes gradually. Plan everything about number of cigarettes you will smoke each day till the quit date, reduce the number each day. Buy single cigarette at a time. This helps a great deal to limit smoking. Change brands. This way you won't enjoy smoking as much. Undertake social commitment. Keep your packet of cigarettes with someone else, so that you have to ask for them each time you want to smoke. This way you'll feel guilty about asking and hence smoking; hence lowering the number of times you smoke. Find a mate who is trying to quit. This will boost the morale and keep up the positivity. Try finding a quitting chat room. Learn what triggers desire to smoke - like stress, the end of a meal, arrival at work, entering a bar, etc. Avoid these triggers or if that's impossible, plan alternative ways to deal with the triggers. Now, after you have read this, sit down and write your own list suitable to your personality and way of doing things and create your own plan for quitting.  
10 bedtime beauty essentials! Here are the beauty essentials you need to take into consideration, before you hit the bed: Baby-soft soles :Before you sleep, apply Vaseline on the sole of your feet. This will adequately moisturize your soles and you can wake up to the great opportunity of wearing those heels you have been dying to try out! Healing the puffy eyes : If you are worried about waking up with puffy and tired eyes (even after 6 to 8 hours of sleep), then put on a little eye cream. You can also keep an extra pillow and make sure you sleep on your back. This will allow the fluids around your eyes to drain easily and reduce the puffiness. Trying out wavy hairstyle : Bedtime is the best time to work on your hairstyle. Before you sleep, shower and fashion your hair into the style you want. Apply a styling cream on your hair gradually, after having air-dried it. Now, decide if you would like to put them up in buns or braids. Stylize them into the pattern and wake up to wavy hair! Let your skin breathe : Those who are suffering from dry skin can apply moisturizer. A humidifier is also a great accessory for help in these cases. You can switch on the humidifier before you go to sleep. This will help your skin to retain its moisture through appropriate hydration. Keep aging at bay :Did you know that sleeping on cotton pillowcases can increase the chances of creases and wrinkles on your skin? Prevent wrinkles by using silk or satin bed clothing. This will also reduce hair breaking. Wake up, miss white smiles: If you want to take off the yellows from your teeth, then brush some baking soda and let them stay for about 8 minutes. Afterwards, thoroughly rinse your mouth. Do not perform this beauty tip more than once a week, it will negatively affect the structure of your enamel. Work on your complexion :During the day, sunlight might disable some face creams from working effectively on your complexion. Make the most use of night and apply a face cream containing retinal and vitamin C. Lengthen your lashes : Eye lashes depth and grace to your eyes. You might feel that working on your lashes will require way too much effort. But, much to your surprise, everything your lashes need is contained in a natural ingredient - castor oil. Consisting of Omega-3 fatty acids, which are highly hydrating, they will avoid your lashes from breaking and also strengthen them. Apply castor oil on your lashes before you sleep and watch them grow thick and healthy within a few weeks! Taking care of your hair : Skim leave-in conditioner through your hair in the evening and let them stay on till the morning. This will let them become soft and shiny. You can also use coconut oil as an alternate conditioner. Readying your nails for polish : Depending on the skin type, the nails of certain people become dry. If you are one of them, it would be best to apply a cuticle cream or oil on them before you sleep to wake up to polish-ready nails.
Muscle build up dietYou may think that you need fatty foods to bulk up, but this is not true. Fatty foods will do just that make you fat. Lean meats, fruits and vegetables will actually build muscle. Take a balanced diet of vegetables and lean meats to achieve your muscle building goals. Changing your diet to build muscle will help with your overall health. Eating food that helps build muscle will ensure that you are not wasting all that hard work you are doing in the gym. Workout utilizes considerable energy. Food is the only way to replace this energy. So what happens if you fail to eat the right type of food to build muscle mass? It will take longer to build muscle, and it may even prevent muscle building altogether once you reach a certain point. Is protein important or not? You bet it is. Protein provides the building blocks to build that muscle. What types of protein are best? Chicken, eggs, steak (with the fat cut off), fish, cheese (especially cottage cheese), and nuts are all great sources of protein. Finding out how much protein to eat when you are interested in building muscle fast is actually not difficult. First, you will need to find out your lean body mass weight in kilos, and then you simply multiply that figure by 2.75 to determine your daily protein requirement. Calculating your lean body mass uses some complex formulae, so ask a professional at the gym if you do not already have this figure. Carbohydrates, in moderation, are also essential when finding foods that build muscle. Do not eat too much, though, unless you choose high fibre carbohydrates, and then you can indulge in much larger amounts. High fibre carbs include rice, potatoes, oatmeal and bananas. Reducing fat in your diet is of course necessary to build bigger muscle on a body that appears lean and has a low body fat ratio. If you are focusing on what foods build muscle mass, you also need to bear in mind that it pays to reduce fat as well. Although proteins are essential, it is really important to select proteins that are low in fat, or that you can cut the fat off. So eat your chicken without the skin, and go for lean steaks rather than more fatty cuts of meat. Opting for cottage cheese or other reduced fat cheeses, and low fat milk also helps reduce your fat intake. You may argue that drinking has no effect on what to eat to build muscle. But you would be wrong. Hydration is critical to general health and wellbeing. Two litres of water a day is what most experts recommend for maintaining optimal health. To drink that amount, you need to drink up to 12 glasses of water a day, which is quite a lot. So start early in the day, and space your water consumption out throughout the day. Foods that build muscle are great and an essential component of your bodybuilding program. But do not be lulled into a false sense of security and think you can slow down on your workouts. Both bodybuilding exercises and bodybuilding diets are required to get a body to die for as quickly as you possibly can. Even if you are working on improving your physique slowly, you should combine a bodybuilding diet with bodybuilding workouts for best results. Sample Diet: 7:00am: Breakfast: 4 eggs + toast or oatmeal + milk with protein powder mixed in (a lot). 9:30am: Snack: 1 Meal replacement supplement + milk. 12:00: Lunch: Tuna sandwich (1 whole can) + green apple. 3:00pm: Snack:  2 Meal replacement supplement + milk. 5:30pm: Workout: Have water (or carb drink if you want), within 30 mins of end of workout (on workout days only) Meal replacement supplement + milk. (If you are going to have Creatine - put it in this Meal replacement supplement at the end of your workout). 8:30pm: Dinner: A chicken breast (aprox 8 oz + some rice or other starch carb + if you want also eat some veggies) Before Bed:  Meal replacement supplement + milk.
Stinky feet? Learn why!Most of us have experienced a bad smelly foot at least once in our lives. We all have that one friend or relative who has such smelly feet that he can clear off a room as soon as he kicks off his shoes! With more than 250,000 sweat glands in each foot, the feet are the most highly sweating parts of the body. What causes this bad smell? The feet contain thousands of sweat glands. During warm days or when you wear socks and tight shoes, the sweating increases in due proportion. The resulting sweat does not find an outlet and starts accumulating in the spaces available and this warm and moist area breeds bacteria. The bacteria start feasting on your sweat and dead skin. They digest their food and release the waste products. These waste products are toxic organic acids that cause the feet to smell so bad. About 10 to 15% of people suffer from this horribly bad smell. Why? This is because their feet are extra sweaty and become a home ground for certain bacteria called as Micrococcus sedantarius. Along with stinky organic acids, the bacteria produce volatile sulphur compounds. Sulphur compounds are powerful and extremely awful smelling almost like a dirty rotten egg. Teenage years also see extra amounts of sweating on the feet. Medical conditions like Hyperhidrosis can also make your feet sweat more. If you are suffering from a fungal infection of the foot, then rest assured that your feet will smell horrible. Smelly feet can be an embarrassing problem. It puts everyone in a spot. Hence, foot hygiene is important to avoid smelly feet. Always wash and dry your feet well every morning. Dab some antiperspirant powder on your feet and between the toes to soak the perspiration. Never wear the same shoes for more than 2 days in a row. Wear a fresh pair of socks daily. Keep your feet exposed to fresh air. Avoid tight-fitting shoes. Use an antibacterial soap to wash your feet if you have smelly feet. Visit your doctor if simple home measures do not prove very effective. Excessive sweating is often considered the cause for foot odor. This is not true. Sweating in itself is harmless; it is the bacteria that grow there that are responsible for the awful odor.
How to communicate with a patient who has a strokeThe first and the most important thing to communicate with the patient, is to give undivided attention. Give attention to his activities, gestures, his facial expressions through which he may try to communicate so his feelings could be understood. Eye contact is also important but the patient having stroke may look at you square in the eyes but he may not respond to your conversation. While communicating with the patient you should always stand in front and tune out all the other sights and sounds in the room. Maintain full silence around the patient in the room, turn down the volume of the television, radio and ask other people in the room to be silent. You may communicate with the patient by making contact by touching the hand, chin, cheek or areas which are not affected by stroke. As the side which is affected by stroke, does not have any sensations. You may communicate with the patient through his family member by telling the family member to communicate with patient by saying, "Look at my face"; through this we can gain the patient's concentration. You should always speak clearly with the patient in a normal soft volume. Express your ideas in simple terms, form simple sentences, do not use complex words. You may repeat the sentences or an important term again. For example to ask if the patient wants tea, repeat the word 'tea'. More complex thoughts can also be similarly conveyed and repeated. You may also use hand gestures with clarification like doing Hello by waving your hand or through your hand action, you may ask questions like, How are you? Are you ok? What do you want? Through this both caregiver and stroke patient can benefit. You may ask your patient to point out whatever he wants or if he needs anything. And gradually he will develop the habit of pointing the daily items like television, newspaper, remote, eyeglasses radio, drapes an uncomfortable foot, the patient can indicate any pain or headache. Through this communication we can make the patient learn, use mechanical lifts to get in and out of the bed, and with the help of the attendant by demonstrating the patient how to use it. Sometimes when the communication does not work, take a break, give it time and try again, do not get frustrated and reassure the patient that yes, he or she can do it. Good communication with the patient is very important as they cannot speak their basic wants and needs clearly. The patients suffered a stroke also have slurred speech. There is a deviation of the angle of mouth. They are mostly bed ridden and could not carry out the routine activities.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
Sex after 40Sexual changes in normal aging after 40: Erection takes longer time Require manual stimulation, particularly by partner Erection may subside during foreplay or coitus Decreased frequency of nocturnal erection Pre-ejaculatory fluid decrease or absent Ejaculation less forceful Seminal fluid volume decreases or absent Frequency of desire for sexual release decreases with age. Aged couples learn to cope with their own sexuality. Some are happy with foreplay and self masturbation, others insist on more usually it is the male. Frequency of sexual intercourse between 20-95 years : Sexual intercourse decreases with age as the study shows. Decreased during 5year interval after 34 years Weekly frequency: 30 - 34 years 2.2%; 60 - 64 years 0.7%; 65  - 74 years 0.4%; 75 - 79 years 0.3% Do we need to change this pattern with Viagra? I would say yes - sex can be  joyful till the last days. Nobody needs to be impotent now. Home devices like rubber bands, ribbons are also used to hold the blood back in the penis when the erection is not adequate. Vacuum pump to draw blood into penis with an application of a ring after erection is also found suitable by some. Active intervention by drugs (both allopathy, ayurvedic and unani) have been successfully developed. They may be applied topically (minidoxil), inhaled (amyl nitrate) inserted into the urethral passage, injected into the corpus cavernosa or taken orally (Sildenafil, Tadalafil, etc.). Finally if all fails silastic rods can be implanted in the penis to give permanent erection. The joy of living lasts a life time.
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