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Broad chest, weak lungs - Are men more prone to respiratory diseases?The long-standing, chronic afflictionof the respiratory disease is called as COPD, i.e., Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. COPD is the obstruction within the lung tissue, causing improper circulation and entrapment of air. This limits the space for air to move in and out, directly affecting the quality of inhalation. A small reminder here may be necessary - breathing is synonymous with life, why? Because that's how we get oxygen, which is vital for the functioning of each and every cell within the body. With COPD, the ability to take in oxygen gets compromised increasingly. Continued cough, sputum, and shortness of breath are the main symptoms. COPD is more common in men. Does it have to do anything with being a male? Not necessarily. No specific link has been established to say that COPD risk is higher for you solely because you are a man. Then, what could it be? A study conducted in 2011 in USA showed that the number of men who smoke is 5% more than the women who do. To understand the reason behind this, let us see the primary causes of this disease. Air pollution, some genetic predispositions, frequent acute infections, exposure to harmful chemicals for a long time (usually occupational) - are some of the main causes, and the number one cause is smoking, owing to almost 80-90% of the cases. Park this thought. Next piece of information is simply revisiting some facts you may already know: #The gender classification ofsmokers - Men are known to smoke more than women all over the world, not only in numbers, but also in quantity. Whether it is a developing country or a developed one, 2011 studies say there are more male smokers everywhere than female smokers. Not only there are more men who smoke, they smoke for longer periods and more number of cigarettes than female smokers. This may vary from country to country, like India has much less women smokers than USA does, but the difference between the two genders holds true everywhere, only the ratios differ. #Occupational exposure to harmful chemicals and gases - These are industries of mining, textile, chemical engineering, welding, etc. The number of men working in such industries is way higher than women. #Air pollution - Men are more exposed to air pollution since they are outdoors more than women. This may not apply to all countries and societies, but is generally true. Now, we can put the pieces together and understand why COPD is more common in men? Yes, they are at a higher risk because of higher exposure to smoking, pollutants and irritants. Cigarette smoking is the leading cause of lung diseases and male smokers outnumber women across the world. You can figure out the math here!
Self grooming tips for men Get rid of unnecessary body hair:Hair on your ears, back, underarms, or uni-brows does not appeal at all. If you have them, then try and get a hair removing gel or wax away gently. Nose hairs can be trimmed from time to time, so that it's not visible. Hair in the underarms can either be waxed, or removed by using a razor. Hair on the back can also be removed through proper waxing. Shave properly:Keep a beard if it suits you, but do trim it regularly. If you do not want a beard, but just a moustache, then that requires customary trims as well. Try and keep yourself clean shaven, if you can't easily manage the styles mentioned above. Avoid bad breath:Bad breath can really get you into trouble, especially during office presentations, client meetings, or even at a date with your girlfriend. Use mouth washes to avoid this problem, and floss after every meal. Mouth fresheners can also come handy, so maintain a regular stock at all times. Brush regularly:Maintain a brush and floss routine twice a day to avoid awkward situations. Cut and clean your nails:Long nails look great on girls, but they are a big turn off in guys. Men need to keep their nails small and trimmed always. Use nail clippers to cut them properly, and cleaners to keep them clean. Take care of your skin:Buy a good sun care and moisturising lotion, and use it always, after a face wash and shower. This shall give you a nice glowing skin. Exercise regularly:A good body can attract everybody's attention. Eat healthy food and exercise regularly to be active and healthy. Get rid of body odour:Instead of colognes, try using deodorants and talcum powders to get rid of body odour. For underarms, always keep a roll-on with you, and apply it regularly. If the issue persists, then consult a doctor for help. Wear well fitting clothes:Wearing unfit or loose clothes will make you look older than you are. Hence, wear clothes which fit you the best. Correct your posture:While standing, walking, and even sitting, keep a straight back. This shall give u a better posture. You will look more pleasing and charming. Grooming is not just a thing for women. It is all about looking after yourself. So, read on to know some self grooming tips for men These were a few tips which can help you look after yourself better, and also give you that much needed edge over others. So, try them out right away!
Mother can pass stress patterns to childThe stress patterns in the mother have shown to affect the mental development of children and have been found to play a role in autism and even schizophrenia. "Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche." - Andrew Denton There are several studies conducted in this area of research. The results are varied and present a set of multiple issues that children can face if their mothers have been under stress when they were in the womb. In later years, these babies grow into children who have a weak mental state. They cry easily, pick the escape route in conflicts and difficult situations, are anxiety prone and may get easily bullied in social environments. Their social adjustment gets hampered due to emotional weakness. These children are not good at handling weak moments and end up being rubbed off the wrong way, time and again. It pushes them into a vicious cycle. The incapability to tackle socially stressful situations further scares them. They get bullied and become even more vulnerable. What to do? The approach is twofold. Curb the problem in the beginning. Yes, it is natural to be stressed. Pregnancy can be tough, physically as well as mentally. With the modern life, the stressors have increased and there is always so much to do in such little time. Relationships, work, food, health, hormones - there is ample to trouble you. Find a release for the tensions. The one growing inside you needs you to be happy and healthy. Do things that make you happy, keep your happiness at the top priority. Everyone around you needs to understand that. Reader, if you are the husband, parent, sibling or friend of a pregnant lady - support her, understand her and do all you can to make her smile. Do not be the one who reprimands if she is worried, be the one who takes away her worries. Pave way for a baby who is happy and ready to start a new life. Second, do what you can at the given time. The child is already here and is facing emotional adjustment issues - extend your support to him/her. Give the kid the ground to grow strong roots and stand tall, without being disturbed easily by gushes of the wind. While it is difficult to avoid stress, you can always try to handle it better, for the sake of your child.Soon-to-be mothers who go through stressful situations may be passing on the stress patterns to their babies.
Inspiring fitness goals for womenBeing fit comes with the benefit of enhanced mood and lowered hormonal rages. Coupled with right proportion of sleep, hydration, and a job you love, you will be nearing towards a perfect body. Goal 1: WorkOut Your Body to A Song! Make a playlist of all the songs you love and choose to execute your regime through it. Goal 2: "Be Yourself" Challenge Holistically develop your body by acknowledging what you love to do. Choose a sport that you love and join a group. If you love animals, then walk your dog which will let you lose weight and enjoy the company of pets. If painting or photography interests you, then trekking along landscapes of beauty should be your weekend getaway. Goal 3: Become the Hourglass with 1-Month Workout Regime Evaluate your body type and create a month-long regime to gradually progress towards animpeccable body shape and continue it beyond the initial 1 month. Start with small steps and do not go in for crash diets. Choose healthier snacks. Add a bit ofsleep to your daily dose in case you tend to sleep less. Begin with 15minutes of workout containing exercises recommended by your trainer to suit your body. Goal 4: Be the Health-Smart Mom! Lose the extra pounds you brought on during pregnancy and set a role model for your children. Go to the park with your children and play games with them. Pick up sports that you all can share and do together! Goal 5: The Yoga Guru Pick up yoga and start from the first step. Did you know that the initiation of anyone into the system of Yoga occurs through stage of Yama? Yama refers to the ethical principles that will guide your life while you move towards taking control of your life. The five Yamasin yoga are non-violence, truthfulness, non-stealing, celibacy, and non-possessiveness. They form the ground for your body to start on a healthy path. Move yourself towards following these principles and pick up the following asanas (body-postures) to lose weight: setu band (the bridge pose), bhekasana, dhanurasana, shalabhasana, chakki chalan, nauka chalan, and sarvangasana. A healthy lifestyle is the framework for any fitness goal. Do not go for unrealistic or transient goals. Start by making preparatory changes in your lifestyle: Lower your junk food intake, sleep adequately, drink at least two liters of water daily and hydrate your body sufficiently. Goal 6: Going Back to Nature Plan a trekking trip to your dream destination and walk your fat away. Bring back home a healthier body and a more peaceful mind. Goal 7: Master Your Body Make a journal of all activities you do in a day. The intention is to become aware of your habits that might be hurting your body unknowingly. Trace habits like binging on a snack while watching TV, sitting in a bad posture while on the desk and reading a book at a dimly lit place may be few pointers. This is a long-term challenge (4 months) to bring your body under your control through self-awareness. Goal 8: Green Regime Go for a diet which involves vegetables, fruits, and grains. Detoxify your body by being off junk food for at least two months. Goal 9: Bony to Healthy Increase your weight to become the inspiration for underweight people and guide them towards a healthy body. Goal 10: Run for the World Join marathons and runs for different social causes. Commonly known as 'Run for a Cause,' be the torchbearer to a certain cause by joining organizations that work on the same and initiating a run or marathon. This will not only prepare your body and move it towards healthy living; you will also be doing your part for the others.
Dehydration: Prevention and curePlaying outside is great for the child's physical as well mental development. But if your child has spent the entire day outside and comes back with fever, diarrhea, or vomiting, and is sweating a lot, then watch out for the signs of dehydration. What is dehydration? Dehydration means abnormal loss of water from the body, especially from illness or physical exertion. Under normal conditions we all lose some body water through sweat, urine, and tears. Kids lose large amount of water and salt from body during fever, diarrhoea, vomiting, or long hours of physical activity or exercise without any water intake. How do I know it is dehydration? If your child has any of the fever, diarrhoea, vomiting or is sweating a lot on hot days then watch for these signs: Sunken eyes Dry or sticky mouth Dark urine or lack of urine output Tiredness, lethargy, irritability or fatigue How can I prevent dehydration? The best way to prevent dehydration is to ensure the child drinks plenty of fluids when they are sick or physically active. Get your kid in the habit of drinking enough water before he/she even feels thirsty.If it is very hot, explain to the kids the benefits of drinking water frequently. If possible, avoid going out in the sun. Give your kids a well-balanced meal to be sure that they are getting all the adequate nutrients. What if my kid gets dehydrated? If the kid is below 1 year, care should be taken to breast feed the baby often. If the dehydration is due to vomiting, feed small amounts frequently for it to absorb in between the vomiting episodes. Give a spoonful of ORS solution every 10 minutes to replace the lost fluids. For kids above 1 year, start with plain water initially when the kid complains of thirst. Later the kids may need drinks containing sugar and electrolytes. Also, the child should be made to rest at home in a cool environment until the lost fluid has been replaced. Once the child is rehydrated, resume to normal routine and diet.
Lost in wonderland? - Absentmindedness!The Daily Telegraph reports that on an average every adult in UK forgets three things per day. Forgetfulness is a human tendency. If this absentmindedness or forgetfulness is limited to forgetting three to five things per day, then it can be left unattended. However, if you or a near one is facing a lot of trouble in your daily life due to this habit or problem, you should immediately have a consultation with your doctor. Mystery behind Absentmindedness According to Maria Jonsdottir, an investigating neuropsychologist from Iceland, absentmindedness is the mental lapses that usually happen in connection with the actions that are routine or well-rehearsed. You can perform these actions without any need to be careful. This includes regular actions such as squeezing out toothpaste or moisturizer from the tube. These action slips are very common and if you observe carefully, you do forget some such regular things every day unknowingly. Psychologists believe that an individual makes such mental lapses around 30 times in every week. On an average, the nervous system of a human brain runs quite efficiently. However, sometimes temporary fault may develop that may make you use incorrect word or slip to your native tongue while conversing. This does not mean however, that something is wrong with your brain. When the team of Jonsdottir surveyed around 200 people, they found out that on an average the slips are 6.4 per week although the number also greatly depends upon the gender, intelligence level, and age. One startling fact that was discovered is that most of the events of forgetfulness occurred before 8 p.m. that means people tend to forget more during the daytime than in the evening. Apart from a momentary lapse in the functioning of brain efficiency, other reasons that can lead to increase in the incidents of forgetfulness are high stress levels, mobile phones, e-mails, and busy lifestyles. Today, people are pressed for time and they have more work at hand than time and that has increased the occurrence of forgetfulness. Types of Absentmindedness A team of neuropsychologists has divided these mental lapses into five categories. The most common are the storage failures in which people cannot recall what they had planned for a particular occasion or they can recall the action, but cannot remember for whom it was meant. Another category is test failures in which people come back home to check whether they have turned the light off and find out that they have already done so. Discrimination failure is another category of absentmindedness wherein you for a moment fail to identify the difference between your things and others'. During the study, a male participant accepted that he picked up the jacket of his female partner thinking it to be his own. Sometimes you put books in the dustbin and the trash on the shelf and laugh at your behavior a moment later when you find out what you have done. This is discrimination failure. Another mix-up includes program assembly failure wherein you put salt in the tea instead of sugar or you just do not keep the right things at the right place. The fifth one is the sub-routine failure wherein you go to the market to buy tea and instead come back home with coffee. The research proves one thing that if you are absentminded, it does not mean that you have a bad memory or can suffer from dementia as is widely publicized in the media. It is perfectly all right to forget or being an absentminded person. Sometimes the incidences of absentmindedness can increase due to fatigue. A good sleep and rest can fix the problem easily.
Anxious about anxiety?Anxiety disorder is a term that almost everyone has heard and experienced in some form or the other. It is a generic term used to describe different forms of a mental disorder wherein those afflicted show typical characteristics of great apprehension, fear and trepidation. The symptoms, of course, vary depending on the severity of the affliction. So you can have 'anxious moments' when you narrowly escape an accident while driving - that's temporary and natural, while some others might have chronic anxiety which might need medical aid. Types of anxiety disorders Generalized anxiety disorder: There is no specific reason for the symptoms of anxiety i.e. restlessness, apprehension, worry, and panic. Thus the term general anxiety disorder (GAD) is any irrational worry which is disproportionate to the source of anxiety. GAD is a state of perpetual irrational and persistent fear which absorbs a person's time or can disrupt his normal functioning. The symptoms of GAD are light headedness, sweating, difficulty breathing, nausea, and numbness. Phobias: Phobias are an irrational morbid fear for certain things or objects. The list of phobias is exhausting as it is anything that a human being is capable of being afraid of. Thus you have arachnophobia which is the fear of spiders, homophobia, which is the fear of homosexual people orxenophobia,the fear of foreigners. Phobias can completely paralyze and terrorize a person and is a form of anxiety disorder. Obsessive compulsive disorder: This is the classic loop where a person is afraid of certain situations arising constantly and thus takes precautionary measures to ensure that it won't. Only thing is that this turns in to a compulsive ritual which can throw her in a loop. Thus a person can be said to have OCD if she persistently checks to see if the gas valve is off as she has a fear that she will set fire to her home. It is a particularly distressful anxiety disorder. Post-traumatic stress disorder: This is anxiety arising out of a traumatic incident which the person undergoes. It could be a horrific accident or an extremely brutal incident which the person has witnessed. The trauma is revisited again and again in the mind and manifests as anxiety. This disorder is based on real events that the person has experienced or undergone and can take a long time to heal. Panic disorder: This is characterized by panic attacks or episodes where great terror or discomfort is experienced. It is a very unsettling experience as the patient feels he is about to go unhinged or something dangerous or embarrassing is going to happen to him. Thus the sensation or feelings of panic build up and reach a crescendo resulting in a panic attack. Sometimes in a panic attack, the patient's reality and perceptions are distorted and blurred and can thus put him in danger. According to the National Institute of Mental Health there could be a number of reasons for anxiety disorders. They vary from early childhood environment to lifestyle causes, heredity and even environment.    
10 Makeup myths bustedMyth 1: You do not need Primers if you have evenly applied foundation and moisturized your skin well. Fact: Primers are basically used to fill your fine lines, reduce the visibility of your pores and keep your foundation looking fresh and radiant, for longer. With age, your skin develops its natural flaws and the use of primers becomes mandatory. For best results, use your primer after moisturizing your facial skin and before applying your foundation. Myth 2: Red Lipstick does not look good on everyone. Fact: Generally, red can look good on everyone. The trick is to find the right shade of red that suits  your particular skin tone. However, to play it safe you may start using red lip colors with blue undertones, as they look good almost on everyone. But remember, learning to apply lipstick the right way, is just as important for the right effect. With just a little patience and practice, you can surely achieve those red hot lips, you've always dreamt of. Myth 3: Foundation should match your cheek, hand, neck or forehead. Fact: Getting the perfect shade of foundation is one of the toughest tasks, while choosing your makeup products. Your facial skin is much lighter than your hands; yet at the same time, it's a tad bit darker on the sides and forehead. Hence, the best way to select a foundation is to check the stripes on your jawline. But, always remember to step out into the natural light while making this crucial decision. Myth 4: You can change the lip-size using lip plumper. Fact: Ok Ladies, a lip plumper will definitely not change the size of your lips. The way they work is that they give your lips a swollen appearance, by stimulating the blood flow and irritating the lips. The main ingredients in a lip plumper are hot pepper, menthol, caffeine and cinnamon which results in the temporary pronounced pout, which soon wears off. Myth 5: Pumping the Mascara eliminates Clumps. Fact: If you pump your mascara tube, you're actually pumping in more air, due to which the mascara solution dries out quickly and allows germs to breed in your mascara. The best way to eliminate clumps is to rotate the brush inside the mascara tube and then wipe it down with a tissue, before application. Myth 6: Never wear an eye shadow matching the color of your eyes. Fact: It is true that if you use contrasting colors, your eyes will pop and look bolder. However, this does not mean that if you have brown eyes, you avoid your favorite brown eye shadow. Myth 7: Choose a concealer that is lighter than the foundation. Fact: Every woman has a different skin tone and depending upon your skin tone, you might need more or less, foundation coverage. So, it is always better to choose a concealer that comes closest to the shade of your foundation. Myth 8: Always choose a foundation that is lighter in color compared to your skin tone. Fact: If you choose a shade of foundation lighter than your skin tone, after a while your face will start showing two different skin shades. Always, test the foundation on your jaw line and if it blends in seamlessly with your skin tone, that's definitely the right shade for you. Myth 9:  Makeup leads to acne. Fact: No research, until date, has conclusively proved that makeup causes acne. Poor hygiene, sleeping with your makeup on, not cleaning your makeup brushes regularly, and using the products beyond their date of expiry is what leads to breakouts on the skin. New products may also cause skin irritation; which is why, it is better to test them on your elbow, before using them directly on your facial skin. Myth 10: Tingling makeup products are perfectly fine. Fact: Makeup products that make your skin tingle are sure to damage your skin and cause injury. It may also lead to bacterial infections and pimples, so you should certainly avoid such products. You should never compromise on the quality of makeup products, or else your skin may have to suffer the side effects.
Fruit diet can be dangerousFruits are healthy and provide lots of nutrition, vitamins, antioxidants, carbohydrates, fibre and bioflavanoids to the body.These things together protect your body from different health conditions and heart disease. However if you only eat fruit, you miss many other essential nutrients such as fats and protein. This can upset your stomach and lead to indigestion. Hence it is very important to take a well-balanced diet to remain healthy. Check out why you should not rely solely on fruits for living. Fruits do not provide protein Protein is highly important for your growth and development. By eating only fruits, you are restricting your intake of proteins that can stop your overall development process. Your body requires calories and energy on a regular basis. Each cell of your body contains protein. To keep your body cells in top working condition it is important that you include protein-rich foods such as lentils, soy products,  nuts and beans in your regular diet. You can also consume low-fat dairy, lean meat, fish and skinless poultry to provide required amount of protein to your body. Fruits do not provide fat Although excess of fat is not good for health, it is essential that your body requires on daily basis to ensure smooth functioning of your immune system and also to help your body absorb various minerals and vitamins provided by other foods like fruit. If you continue being a fruitarian for long duration, the chances of stroke due to brain haemorrhage increases. According to health experts, you should get around 20 to 35 percent of your daily calories from fat. To provide your body with good fats you should include soybean, sunflower, olive or canola oil in your diet. Fish and poultry also provide good amount of healthy fats to the body. Too much of fruits can lead to digestive problems Fruits provide fibres to the body in large amounts. Although your body needs fibre as it is one of the essential nutrients, getting too much of fibre can lead to side effects. Fibre works as broom to clear of your abdomen and aid in the digestion process. However, too much of fibre leads to stomach problems and cause symptoms such as gas, cramps and bloating. Sometimes it may also lead to chronic diarrhoea, dehydration and loose stools. On a regular basis, a woman requires only 22 to 28 gm of fiber per day and a man needs 34 to 38 gm. Apart from fruits, seeds, vegetables and whole grains also provide fibre to the body. Other considerations If you limit your intake to fruits, you may not get enough calories required for producing the required amount of energy. Consuming calories less than 1100 per day can lead to lot of side-effects such as intolerance to cold, gallstones, hair loss and fatigue. So although fruits taste wonderful and are very tempting, being a fruitarian is not the best thing for your health. Your body needs all the nutrients for carrying out its different activities and hence you should include variety of foods in your diet.  
Stay healthy, keep flu at bayKeep the influenza virus away from you by following these simple routines : Wash your hands!Hands are a germ factory. Innumerable things are touched by us through the course of a day and that lends the germs a perfect breeding ground. Hence, it becomes imperative that we clean our hands thoroughly, especially before eating. Always keep a sanitizer handy in case you don have access to water and soap. Even while you wash your hands with soap and water, do not rush with the process. Wash thoroughly at least for 20 seconds. Clean the surfaces!Computer keyboards, tables, pens and pencils, shared stationary are all great places to find the flu virus. Regularly clean these surfaces with an alcohol-based disinfectant that will kill these germs. Exercise!Nothing can be as good as regular physical exercise for maintaining good health. Regular exercising boosts the immunity. This makes you fall ill less often. It also gives you greater resistance against viruses so you will not be affected by them no matter how strong the exposure. Top up on vitamin C!Vitamin C is known to boost your immunity levels. It also increases the resistance against viruses. Eat a lot of citrus fruits like oranges and tomatoes. Amla, that is a rich source of vitamin C, can also be consumed in the form of juice or eaten raw! Chicken soup for the ill-soul!Chicken soup is known to be the most effective against the flu virus. So if you feel you are coming down with a flu fever, rush to the kitchen and fix up some nourishing chicken soup for yourself. Nothing works as effectively as this does. Try poking yourself!The ancient Chinese system of medicine, acupuncture, has been known to treat everything from headaches to nausea to arthritis. Acupuncture experts may prick at particular pressure points with hair like needles to keep flu at bay and to reduce the severity if already infected. Though there is no significant scientific evidence against it, there is absolutely no harm in trying it, if you can tolerate the pain from the needles!. OTC drugs!Over-the-counter medications are available in plenty for flu symptoms. The achy feeling all over the body, the sore throat, and the muscle pain are the worst symptoms of flu. Doctors suggest that you do not over-medicate yourself. Instead of going for multi-drug combinations, doctors advise you go for generic medicines like acetaminophen for fever and a cough suppressant. Garlic pods!These smelly things can be of great use when it comes to prevent a lot of diseases, the flu included. Studies show that people who ate two or three pods of garlic daily had better resistance against the flu virus and fell ill less often. Proactive Probiotics!The strength of your immune system lies in your gut, called gut-associated lymphoid tissue or GALT. Almost 80% of the immunity comes from your gut. To keep the gut healthy, eat a lot of probiotic, pro-GALT foods like yoghurt. Sleep well!Sleep is the most essential component of staying healthy. A well-relaxed body is fitter and stronger and will have better immunity against diseases! Prevention is always the better form of cure. Stay protected and stay healthy.
Reasons for skipping sexThe most important satisfaction brick in a marriage's foundation, sex is where we show the greatest trust, most openly express intimacy and make ourselves most vulnerable. It is the most personal and private area of our relationship. It is the one area that separates this relationship from all others. Yet, there are times for both husbands and wives when sex becomes a burden and not a blessing, an inconvenience instead of intimacy, and a job instead of jubilee. Curious as to why people might be skipping sex? This is only a partial list and far from exhaustive. Reasons related to your body: I have a migraine. I have a stomachache. My body is too tired. My breasts are too sore. I am too sleepy. I can't keep my eyes open. I just need to take a little nap first. Okay, but I have a rash. Okay, but I have several weird looking cold sores. Reasons related to your emotions: I am depressed. I am worried. I am sad. Cry Reasons related to your kids: The kids are still up. We might wake up the kids. I just had a baby. This baby is wearing me out. Reasons related to your experts: My therapist said I need to give myself some time. My counselor said I should create some boundaries. I have to see my Gynecologist tomorrow. The Doctor gave me these sleeping pills for stress and I just took one. Reasons related to your spouse: Who was that girl / guy you were talking to on the phone? Sex, Sex, Sex All you ever want is sex! Why can't you just hold me? You should have asked in a more romantic way! Why do you have to use such crude language? Reasons related to your weather: It's just too hot. It's just too cold. It's too humid. Reasons related to your economy: When the economy improves. When the interest rates go down. When inflation goes down Reasons related to your special circumstances: We just got back from vacation! When I lose 20 kgs. Reasons related to your friends: I need to make a call first. My friend said they only do it once a month. Reasons related to your pets: The dog can see us. The cat is on the bed. Reasons related to your finances: Okay, but first we need to talk about the bills. Why did you charge this hotel room on our credit card? Reasons related to your job or boss: I have to get up early tomorrow. I was up all night last night. I had a long day at work today. The boss just gave me a new project and I have a lot of work to do Reasons related to your religion: Doesn't the Bible warn against having too much sex. I am sorry, but I just took a vow. I am giving up sex for Lent. Reasons related to your in-laws: We are in your parent's house. I have not been able to concentrate since your mother Your parents will hear us. Offer an alternative: Can I just take care of you in the shower? Okay, but you have to drive the kids to school in the morning. Use evasive tactics: Sneak in and go to sleep early. Okay, but let's watch this movie first. It's just too late. I'll be there in a minute. (Take an hour) Can we just cuddle? I just need you to hold me. Ask a sensitive question: Did you go to the bank and make our deposit today? Have you seen the kid's report cards? Wait for your spouse to tease you and then say coldly, well, you just lost whatever you were going to get tonight.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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