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Fairness scream: The new male obsession"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?" The words at once evoke images of the evil queen as she strikes a vain pose at the looking glass. However, these days one needs to be more accommodating and make way for a preening gent to put forth the above query. All these days, fairness would be a quality an Indian male would look for in his wife. Just see the Fair & Lovely ads to know what we mean. But today, this very obsession has turned on itself. More and more men are being just as exacting about their own skin color, complexion and tone as their female counterparts. Just take a look at all those TV commercials where celebrity endorsements dangle the bait of fairness creams, lotions and body wash specially designed for teenagers and young men seeking to take them to the promised land of social and sexual success. But before you rush to buy that cream, here's what that fairness is all about Fairness is skin cell deep Fair, ruddy, dark or wheatish is all determined primarily by the melanin content in our skin cells. Some races like the Africans have a high melanin content thereby giving them a dark colour while Europeans are of a lighter skin colour due to low melanin content. So whether you use an expensive fairness cream or go in for beauty treatments at luxurious beauty spas, genetics will have a final say on the matter. How fairness creams work...or do they? Fairness creams contain chemicals which block the production of melanin in the skin and thus enable a lighter skin tone and a fairer complexion. Mostly melanin production in men is more than females, which is why women's fairness creams don't have so much of an effect on men. The cosmetic industry recognized this factor and thus developed products designed for the male skin. However, some of these "men's only" fairness brands are glorified sunblock creams which block the harmful ultra violet radiation of the sun which blackens the skin. The dark side of fair Some of the beauty treatments and fairness creams contain chemicals like hydroquinone, mercury, and even steroids, which could do more harm than good. If you are obsessed about fairness, the least you could do is use a branded product (though that is no guarantee of its efficacy!). First sample it to check of it suits your skin. If a rash breaks out, consult a skin specialist immediately. Finally, it is the health of the skin which is more important than colour. So exercise regularly or use natural skin treatments like orange peels, cucumber patches to enhance your skin tone. Don't give in to peer pressure. The obsession for fairness can lead to low self-esteem and needless rivalry. Cosmetologists and marketers of fairness products are the only ones who will laugh their way to the bank at your cost. So, if you have a darker skin colour you don't have to go in for expensive remedies just because men in your age group find it cool. Self-acceptance is much better remedy than any beauty treatment in the world.  
Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Infertility at workplaceSince infertility among the younger age is increasing, it is important that a couple decides an early suitable date to attempt conception. Time and again it has been found that infrequency of intercourse is the cause of delayed pregnancy. It is advisable that the woman has a thorough examination by the gynecologists to identify the ovulation dates and for the man to have a thorough spermatic fluid check.  If both are normal then they could wait for a suitable date later. Should there be a problem the quicker it is attended to better. Also, early in the marriage they should start a fund which could be utilized for matters related to conception. For the male, the main treatment covers his personal sex life and a detailed examination of his spermatic fluid. It is the female who has to undergo many detailed tests and possibly surgeries which are expensive. It is often seen that not only the procedures for both take a toll on their personal and intimate relationship but also severely affect their finances which may come to a point that it does not allow them to complete the treatment as for e.g. the woman undergoing IVF may costs several lakhs of rupees. The treatment of infertility has improved greatly, but interferes severely with the work schedule. Working couples particularly women may have a hard time keeping to their schedules. Depending on their infertility diagnosis, many workplace challenges exist including the need to take time off to undergo tests and other appointments. It is difficult to balance the medical and surgical procedures with daily life and work. This is a difficult issue for many people as they fear their employer may discriminate against them for taking time off from work. Sadly in India there are very few employers who include medical benefits and cost of treatment for infertility. Suggestions have been given on stress dealing with infertility treatment and work. Here are few pitfalls to avoid: Do Your Homework: Review your organization's HR policies so you understand the amount of leave you have and other policies that pertain to your situation. You may be able to arrange for flex time or work from home on the days of your appointments, so that you do not actually miss any work. Be Honest:  Go to supervisor and let her or him know that you will be using your leave time and will give as much notice as possible. Honesty is the best policy. Remember people are inherently curious about the disease of infertility. If you feel the questions are invasive and make you feel uncomfortable, remember you do not have to answer the questions. You can respond nicely and let them know that you appreciate their concern but you are not ready to answer any questions. Your co-workers are asking question because it is human nature to be curious. In conclusion, not everyone needs to know what is happening with your reproductive health. At work place should medical help be available do take advantage of it.  This treatment has nothing to do with your performance at work. Go to work feeling confident that you will be able to perform your job and handle your workload during this time.
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Get the couch potato out to playKids in the modern day are increasingly getting lazier and unfit. Watching TV, playing games on consoles and smartphones, and spending time on social networks is eating into time which would otherwise be spent playing outdoors.The lack of exercise comes with a host of problems, which can affect kids in childhood or later on in life. Therefore, parents must encourage kids to exercise by being an example. However, do keep in mind that there is nothing that will bore a kid than treadmills or lifting weights. Playing sports is often the better way to go. Give aerobics a try Aerobic exercises can help kids to stay fit and also can be fun at the same time. The common perception is that aerobics involve dancing a set pattern. However, aerobics is any exercise that increases your oxygen intake. Outdoor activities can include basketball, cycling, soccer, swimming, tennis, walking or running Along with aerobics, children should also do stretching exercises, which help in improving flexibility, allowing muscles and joints to bend and move easily through their full range of motion. Getting your kids excited It is important, however, to communicate with your child the need to exercise. You could encourage them to take part in outdoor games at school as well as in the locality where you stay. You should regulate the number of hours your kid can spend in front of the TV or PC. This way she will look for means to play outside the house. You can also play with them yourself. It will be fun for the both of you, as well as helps you bond with your child. Exercising for at least an hour a day is ideal, and it broken down into chunks of 15 minutes at a time.  
Building self confidence by improving body languageSo what have they told you? That only physically attractive people have the right to self-confidence? That you either have it in you or you don't? Let's face it, confidence is the key to anything and everything. Right from driving a car to handling work to dating, confidence is what separates the proverbial wheat from the chaff. What you need to remember is that the mind speaks the body language. Conversely if you change your body language, then it has an impact on the mind as well. Mr.Hunched Over This guy is the classic example of a person who just doesn't like himself. The world is a mighty dangerous place for him. Just look at the way he walks. Shoulders all hunched over, head down as he shuffles rather than walk. Mr. Hunched Over generally finds it difficult to look people in the eye as he speaks and he last is handshake is as limp as his mind. He crosses his arms tightly, touches his nose all the time to see if it has grown since he lied through it. Mr. Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk This chap is diametrically the opposite of the first kind. He exudes an air of confidence in his walk, manner and speech. He has a confident stride which is helped by the fact that he stands to his height with his head held high, chin tucked in and shoulders squared back. This is what gives him the confidence as this posture is designed for efficiency. Mind you, he isn't ram rod straight, just straight enough so that his ears are in line with his shoulders and hips. The chest is also out since the shoulders are drawn back towards the hip. This facilitates deep, even and diaphragmatic breathing which prevents anxiety. His hand shake is firm. As he offers his hand, he exerts just the right pressure on the other person's hand to indicate a strong grip. This is no wrestling bout, so the confident man always exerts just the right kind of pressure in a hand shake.  He maintains eye contact with the person he is talking to; not a staring about, but normal eye contact, one which won't make the other person conscious of being stared at. He looks away from time to time to give his eyeballs a rest. This is why he comes across as genuine and not shift eyed and restless. To be Mr.-Or- Ms. Walk the Walk Always square your shoulders and keep your head held high when you walk. You might seem imperious or high handed at first, but then it will work wonders on your self-esteem and you will begin to feel differently about yourself. You needn't even be a tall person to come across as cool and confident-just stand up to your own height and see the miracle. Breathe slowly steadily and deeply. Use your abdominal muscles to draw in your breath rather than engaging your neck muscles which end up making you a shallow breather and plus you also tend to hunch easily if you don't feel your rib cage and stomach expand as you breathe in. Practice standing and speaking in front of the mirror. It will show you exactly how you appear to others. Practice your walk in front of a video camera and keep a record of your metamorphosis.
Causes and treatment of sleep talkingIt is usually believed that sleep talking is associated with dreaming, but there is no scientific evidence available to support this hypothesis. In few cases, it may be associated with sleep disorders or any other diseases. Sleep terrors and REM sleep behavior disorder (RBD) are two sleep disorders associated with sleep talking. Sleep terrors are associated with frightening scream, kicking, and thrashing. It is commonly seen in children. Awakening becomes difficult during sleep terror. Patients with RBD utter a sudden loud cry, grunt, shout, or act out their dreams, usually violently. Other causative factors of sleep walking are emotional stress, mental health illnesses, substance abuse, fever, and certain medications. Treatment: Evaluation of the patient Patients with sleep talking should be evaluated by a specialist doctor especially if it is seen in adults or associated with violent actions, screaming, or intense fear. If children with sleep talking have disturbed sleep pattern, they should be evaluated by the pediatrician. The doctor asks questions to the parents, roommates, and bed partners about the nature and the extent of sleep talking. There is no definitive treatment available for sleep talking, although the doctor may test to record the sleep pattern of the patient to identify any sleep disorder. This test is known as polysomnogram. Management Sleep talking usually does not require treatment. Avoidance of stress and plenty of sleep at night may help to decrease sleep talking. However if any sleep disorder is identified by polysomnogram, it is treated accordingly by the doctor. If underlying causes like mental illnesses, substance abuse, or medications are identified, they are also managed accordingly. Mental illnesses like depression should be treated with proper counseling and medications. The patients should refrain from alcohol, heavy meals, fatty meals, etc. The patients are advised to follow regular sleep schedule, get adequate amount of sleep, and practice proper sleep hygiene so that severity and frequency of sleep talking is decreased.
Benefits of meditation: How daily meditation helps you lead a wholesome life Sharper memory: One of the most important cognitive capacities we use daily is our memory. With higher amount of stress on your brain and body due to demands at workplace and home, there is high probability of negative effect on your memory. This can be countered by mindfulness meditation where the focus of attention is a particular physical sensation. This lets you quiet your mind and learn to be attentive solely to the matter at hand, thus allowing your brain to be able to remember more sharply and quickly. Dealing with stress: Stress is the buzzword for anyone who is leading their life in busy cities. Starting from the hurried walk into the office to the pressure of meeting deadlines and reaching home exhausted only to find oneself engrossed in another set of tedious jobs is the condition of daily life for most people. Meditation will allow you to cope with stress in a stronger way by bringing the energies of your body under your control, thus giving you the power to channelize them effectively. Giving up painkillers: Recent medical studies, especially ones conducted in Montreal in 2010, showed how the practice of Zen meditation structures the brain in such a manner that its capacity to sense and deal with pain increases. Primarily practiced by Buddhist monks, Zen is the form of meditation where you focus on your breathing and posture while watching and letting your mind gradually turn quiet. In this way, you can put those pain killers away and increase your innate capacity to deal with pain. Happiness quotient: Prefrontal cortex is the part of brain concerned with positive emotions and feelings. Those who meditate have been seen to have greater activity in this area. Major journals and research institutions focusing on depression and role of meditation in reducing it have found that meditation helps the person to feel in control of their life by subtly changing the working of their brains and thus, resulting in greater capacity to cope with depression and negative feelings. Good for your heart: Two kinds of meditation which are greatly beneficial for smooth working of your heart are Zen and Transcendental meditation. Transcendental meditation, taking after its name, helps you to transcend your worries through attention on chanting. It has been found that meditating daily helps to reduce the chances of stroke and heart attacks by over 40%.
How to communicate with a patient who has a strokeThe first and the most important thing to communicate with the patient, is to give undivided attention. Give attention to his activities, gestures, his facial expressions through which he may try to communicate so his feelings could be understood. Eye contact is also important but the patient having stroke may look at you square in the eyes but he may not respond to your conversation. While communicating with the patient you should always stand in front and tune out all the other sights and sounds in the room. Maintain full silence around the patient in the room, turn down the volume of the television, radio and ask other people in the room to be silent. You may communicate with the patient by making contact by touching the hand, chin, cheek or areas which are not affected by stroke. As the side which is affected by stroke, does not have any sensations. You may communicate with the patient through his family member by telling the family member to communicate with patient by saying, "Look at my face"; through this we can gain the patient's concentration. You should always speak clearly with the patient in a normal soft volume. Express your ideas in simple terms, form simple sentences, do not use complex words. You may repeat the sentences or an important term again. For example to ask if the patient wants tea, repeat the word 'tea'. More complex thoughts can also be similarly conveyed and repeated. You may also use hand gestures with clarification like doing Hello by waving your hand or through your hand action, you may ask questions like, How are you? Are you ok? What do you want? Through this both caregiver and stroke patient can benefit. You may ask your patient to point out whatever he wants or if he needs anything. And gradually he will develop the habit of pointing the daily items like television, newspaper, remote, eyeglasses radio, drapes an uncomfortable foot, the patient can indicate any pain or headache. Through this communication we can make the patient learn, use mechanical lifts to get in and out of the bed, and with the help of the attendant by demonstrating the patient how to use it. Sometimes when the communication does not work, take a break, give it time and try again, do not get frustrated and reassure the patient that yes, he or she can do it. Good communication with the patient is very important as they cannot speak their basic wants and needs clearly. The patients suffered a stroke also have slurred speech. There is a deviation of the angle of mouth. They are mostly bed ridden and could not carry out the routine activities.
The link between oral sex and cancerSymptoms of oral cancer: The common symptoms of oral cancer include: Red and white spots on the tongue or the lining of the mouth, inflammation of the mouth which continues well over two weeks, mouth ulcers which take over three weeks to heal, discomfort and pain during swallowing food, and lastly, sensation that something is stuck in the throat. HPV types and their nature: There are over 100 different types of HPV. Out of these, 15 have been found to cause cancer. These 15 types of HPV are called high-risk HPV. The HPV types which are found in the mouth are sexually communicable and the primary means for its transference is considered to be oral sex. It could also be carried through anal and vaginal sex, causing laryngeal cancer, anal cancer, cervical cancer, tonsil cancer, vulval and vaginal cancer, and penile cancer. Some of the HPV types get passed through skin contact. These cause warts, especially in the genital region. These types of HPV which cause the warts are less likely to escalate and cause cancer. Though there is no determinate answer as to how common the HPV mouth infection is. Advanced studies during the 21st century have put forward the role of HPV16 in new types of cancer. This was done using DNA testing. Through a medical study, it was found that the most vulnerable groups are: People in the age group of 30 to 34 and 60 to 64 years old. People who have had over 20 sexual partners in their lifetime, around 20% suffer from HPV oral infection HPV leads to cancer?: HPV does not directly cause cancer. It stimulates modifications in the cells which it has infected, like those in the mouth or cervix and due to the modifications the cell becomes cancerous. In only 10% of the cases where the patient suffers from HPV infection does cancer develop. The infection generally treats itself and is removed naturally within 2 years by the body. The chances of progression of the HPV infection into cancer is increased by smoking and drinking. Smoking injures the immune surveillance cells. Due to this injury, they are not able to fight the virus and the virus continues to persist over 2 years, leading to cancer. Vaccinations: In the United Kingdom, girls (aged 12 and 13 years old) are vaccinated against HPV. This vaccination protects the women against cervical, vulval, and vaginal cancers. Men and boys also take vaccinations against HPV, though it is not pursued as strongly as in the case of women. This leaves men who have sex with other men at a greater risk of getting oral and anal cancer. Even though the link between oral sex and cancer is not completely proven, what we do know is that oral sex causes many other infections like gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, and chlamydia. Did you know that a very low percentage of people (only 10%) who are infected with HPV virus develop cancer? In 90% of the cases, the infection is naturally cleared by the body within two years. The natural process is, however, obstructed in those who smoke and drink.    
Women and impotence- The facts on sexual dysfunction in womenTraditionally when one hears the word 'impotence', one tends to associate it with the male partner. Female impotence is also a reality. Sexual dysfunction in women might infact be more common in women than in men. Read on to know more The sexual response cycle has four stages- excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. A problem arising in any of these phases is called Sexual Dysfunction. It hampers with the pleasures of sexual activity. All in all, a healthy lifestyle is the key to getting rid of several of the causes that may cause sexual dysfunction. Be frank and express your fears to your partner. Talking and establishing a mutual respect and comfort zone helps like nothing else can! Sexual dysfunction affects females as much as it affects men. The causes can be classified as below: Physical causes: Several diseases like diabetes, heart diseases, kidney disorders, liver disorders, neurological disorders, hormonal imbalance, menopause, excessive alcoholism or drug abuse can cause sexual dysfunction. In addition to it, inability to perform or initiate or enjoy sexual activity may happen due to side-effects of certain medications. Past pelvic surgeries are also a cause for sexual dysfunction in women. Psychological causes: The mind has got a definitive effect on the body. Sexual dysfunction is the apt example to explain this. Too much of stress, work pressure, depression are factors that do not allow an individual to perform well in bed. Past sexually traumatic events may also be a cause for sexual dysfunction. Sexual causes: This is the most frequently encountered cause for sexual dysfunction in women. Vaginusmus is the leading cause here. Vaginusmus is a pain that the woman experiences due to the fear of penetration. This causes involuntary contraction of the muscles making it impossible for her to relax. The origins of this fear are due to past painful and traumatic experiences. Dyspareunia is another cause for sexual dysfunction. It is a burning pain that lasts long after the act is over. The severity of the pain is of such a nature that the woman prefers not giving in to the pleasures of sex rather than experiencing pain. Sexual dysfunction is not something to be embarrassed of and certainly not something to be looked upon derogatorily. Sexual dysfunction often leads to frustration and can affect your relations. Speak out and seek help before it is too late. And for the men reading this, be supportive of your partner. She is going through a difficult phase and she needs your love and support along with the right treatment, not your scorn and displeasure. Treatment Options: Sexual dysfunction in women is treatable once the exact cause for the condition is known. Various natural remedies, holistic approaches and psychotherapy have been used with a good measure of success. Additionally, oral medication, hormonal therapy and surgical procedures are also used to treat impotency.
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