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The moody man - Mood swings in menMen, such jokes on a woman's monthly mood swings are passe. Recent research proves that men are equally prone to have mood swings. Have you experienced a myriad of emotions? Angry, irritated, feeling helpless, self-pity, an irrational urge to throw things and cry and be depressed all at the same time? These are signs of mood swings. And the point of interest here is that you don't have to be a woman to experience mood swings. Men face their share of mood swings too! Men undergo hormonal influence too. And like women this causes them too to be irritable and cranky. The difference here is that the hormonal fluctuations are not as severe in men as in women. So the mood change lasts for a lesser time compared to a woman. Men's moods are also affected by psychological and physiological stressors. So a man who has to work against time to meet a deadline will be very irritable. A man who is deprived of sleep will end up snapping at you for no apparent reason. The myth that men don't cry, is something that men take to heart. Men are emotional beings and it is okay to show some of the emotions. The male stereotypical image is such that if a man is expressive of his emotional side, he isn't considered macho enough. Hence men tend to internalize their emotions and feelings. Often this leads to chronic depression. Taming the mood swings. Any form of physical exercise helps keep the mood in balance. This helps in keeping the aggressiveness under check. Sex is also a great way to release the stress and feel better, rather than snapping and using profanities. Another helpful way is to ask yourself 'why'. Whenever you feel that you are doing something irrational or out of character, ask yourself why. The answer you get from yourself will help clear the situation and you will end up handling it in a mature fashion. The irritable male syndrome. This is the male equivalent of the female menopause - The Andropause. It covers the symptoms seen in middle-aged men that occur due to the drop in testosterone levels. Like women, men show mood changes, bouts of irritability, grumpiness, hypersensitivity, anxiety and frustration. The recent research on men having mood swings and the society's acceptance of these findings is very encouraging. It helps stress in the fact that men are emotional too. There is nothing anti-macho about a man crying his heart out at times. It only shows he is human, after all.
Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
Pregnancy myths bustedChances of getting pregnant each month gets increased by 50% in the women of the age of early 20's: This not right, for a women to get pregnant is not easy. When a woman is below 25 the chances of hitting baby bingo are only 20 to 25 %, while the women above 35 years of age the chances are 15%.   The baby's gender could be understood by the shape and size of the belly. It is believed that woman carrying a girl has high belly: False again. The shape of belly depends on original shape of the abdomen, amount and the distribution of the fat, strength of the abdominal muscles, the number of babies conceived and the position of the baby... but in no way possible can the shape or size of a belly give away the sex of the baby inside.   The best fertility lubricant to be used for conceiving is saliva: This is totally wrong, actually saliva is the sperm killer, most of the lubricants and massage oil are also not good for fertility, so it is better to go without using any lubricant.   Sperm production is impaired by laptops: This is true. Heat is not good for male fertility when laptops are used on laps they may generate heat and affect the fertility. So it is good to use the laptops as desktops.   The conceiving period of most of the couples is 3 months: This is not right, most of the couples take about 6 - 12 months of active efforts to conceive if they are not having any fertility problems.   There are more chances of conceiving, if you do more sex on the fertile days: This is true, the man having normal sperm count to have sex during her partners fertile days is good for conception. Having everyday sex was suggested in earlier days but anything which is done in excess is always more.   The egg can be fertilized within two days after it is released: This not true, an egg has the shelf life of only 12 to 24 hour, and the sperm have to meet with egg within that time, though it has the shelf life of 3 days or more.   Position during conception matters: This is not true, the sperms which are healthy are good swimmers, they can make you pregnant in any condition.   Eating oysters is good for getting pregnant: This is true, oysters are the good source of zinc, which is the most fertile mineral, it is also a good booster for libido, it can be used by both sexes.   Having cough medicine is good for getting pregnant: This is true, cough expectorants loosens up the cervical mucus as it does with the mucus in the chest, and the looser cervical mucus gives the sperm an easier and faster way to get pregnant. But some cough medicines contains an antihistamine that dries up all the mucus, which makes for a difficult swim for the sperms.   The sex of the baby is known by the glow on the face of the mother: This is not true, as the morning sickness of the mother is stopped, she starts eating well, the blood circulation also improves and in general the mother feels good, which gives the glow on the face. There is no relation between the glow on face and delivery of a baby.   The baby having lots of hair causes heartburn to their mother: Completely false, heartburn is the common complaint of the mother during pregnancy, this is due to reflux in oesophagus, in this the food particles come up through the food pipe and due to its acidic nature it causes heart burn. There is no relation between baby having lots of hair and heartburn.   The food intake of the pregnant woman should be doubled, for baby and the mother: This is not true, the pregnant woman, should take a balanced nutritious diets containing ample of proteins, vitamins, and minerals, small meals should eaten for every two hours rather than eating only 3 times the bulky meals.   Labor can be induced having sex during pregnancy: Not true, if the woman is physically fit during pregnancy can have sex as advised by the doctor only the position during sex should be taken care of, it should not cause discomfort to the woman.   Regular breastfeeding is a barrier for getting pregnant: Again a myth, the women can get pregnant even in the lactational ammenorrhea before the first menstrual cycle. You should always use contraception to avoid pregnancy.   Using computer during pregnancy can harm baby: This is not true, there may be backache if you continuously work for a long time on computer, but there is no direct effect of computer on the baby.   Source: What to Expect Before You're Expecting
Infertility at workplaceSince infertility among the younger age is increasing, it is important that a couple decides an early suitable date to attempt conception. Time and again it has been found that infrequency of intercourse is the cause of delayed pregnancy. It is advisable that the woman has a thorough examination by the gynecologists to identify the ovulation dates and for the man to have a thorough spermatic fluid check.  If both are normal then they could wait for a suitable date later. Should there be a problem the quicker it is attended to better. Also, early in the marriage they should start a fund which could be utilized for matters related to conception. For the male, the main treatment covers his personal sex life and a detailed examination of his spermatic fluid. It is the female who has to undergo many detailed tests and possibly surgeries which are expensive. It is often seen that not only the procedures for both take a toll on their personal and intimate relationship but also severely affect their finances which may come to a point that it does not allow them to complete the treatment as for e.g. the woman undergoing IVF may costs several lakhs of rupees. The treatment of infertility has improved greatly, but interferes severely with the work schedule. Working couples particularly women may have a hard time keeping to their schedules. Depending on their infertility diagnosis, many workplace challenges exist including the need to take time off to undergo tests and other appointments. It is difficult to balance the medical and surgical procedures with daily life and work. This is a difficult issue for many people as they fear their employer may discriminate against them for taking time off from work. Sadly in India there are very few employers who include medical benefits and cost of treatment for infertility. Suggestions have been given on stress dealing with infertility treatment and work. Here are few pitfalls to avoid: Do Your Homework: Review your organization's HR policies so you understand the amount of leave you have and other policies that pertain to your situation. You may be able to arrange for flex time or work from home on the days of your appointments, so that you do not actually miss any work. Be Honest:  Go to supervisor and let her or him know that you will be using your leave time and will give as much notice as possible. Honesty is the best policy. Remember people are inherently curious about the disease of infertility. If you feel the questions are invasive and make you feel uncomfortable, remember you do not have to answer the questions. You can respond nicely and let them know that you appreciate their concern but you are not ready to answer any questions. Your co-workers are asking question because it is human nature to be curious. In conclusion, not everyone needs to know what is happening with your reproductive health. At work place should medical help be available do take advantage of it.  This treatment has nothing to do with your performance at work. Go to work feeling confident that you will be able to perform your job and handle your workload during this time.
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Mood disordersMood disorder is a category of mental health problems, and it includes all types of depression and bipolar disorder. The cause of mood disorder is not well known. Endorphins in brain are responsible for positive moods. The neurotransmitters regulate endorphins. Depression and other mood disorders are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Life events such as unwanted changes in life may also contribute to a depressed mood. Mood disorders are inherited. Children, adolescents, or adults who have a parent with a mood disorder have a greater chance of also having a mood disorder. Symptoms: Prolonged feeling of sadness Helpless feeling Low self-esteem Intense guilt Suicidal thoughts Loss of interest in daily activities Difficulty with relationships Disturbed sleep Change in appetite or weight Low energy Inability in concentrating Inability to make decisions Frequent physical complaints (i.e., headache, stomach ache, fatigue) Threats of running away from home Hypersensitivity to failure or rejection Irritability Aggressive behaviour Hostility In mood disorders, these feelings appear more intense than what a person may normally feel from time to time. Treatment Psychotherapy: It is focused on changing the individual's distorted views of themselves and the environment around them, working through difficult relationships, and identifying stress triggers in their environment and how to avoid them. Family therapy: Families play a vital supportive role in any treatment process. Antidepressant medications: Medications in combination with psychotherapy has shown to be very effective in the treatment of depression.
10 bedtime beauty essentials! Here are the beauty essentials you need to take into consideration, before you hit the bed: Baby-soft soles :Before you sleep, apply Vaseline on the sole of your feet. This will adequately moisturize your soles and you can wake up to the great opportunity of wearing those heels you have been dying to try out! Healing the puffy eyes : If you are worried about waking up with puffy and tired eyes (even after 6 to 8 hours of sleep), then put on a little eye cream. You can also keep an extra pillow and make sure you sleep on your back. This will allow the fluids around your eyes to drain easily and reduce the puffiness. Trying out wavy hairstyle : Bedtime is the best time to work on your hairstyle. Before you sleep, shower and fashion your hair into the style you want. Apply a styling cream on your hair gradually, after having air-dried it. Now, decide if you would like to put them up in buns or braids. Stylize them into the pattern and wake up to wavy hair! Let your skin breathe : Those who are suffering from dry skin can apply moisturizer. A humidifier is also a great accessory for help in these cases. You can switch on the humidifier before you go to sleep. This will help your skin to retain its moisture through appropriate hydration. Keep aging at bay :Did you know that sleeping on cotton pillowcases can increase the chances of creases and wrinkles on your skin? Prevent wrinkles by using silk or satin bed clothing. This will also reduce hair breaking. Wake up, miss white smiles: If you want to take off the yellows from your teeth, then brush some baking soda and let them stay for about 8 minutes. Afterwards, thoroughly rinse your mouth. Do not perform this beauty tip more than once a week, it will negatively affect the structure of your enamel. Work on your complexion :During the day, sunlight might disable some face creams from working effectively on your complexion. Make the most use of night and apply a face cream containing retinal and vitamin C. Lengthen your lashes : Eye lashes depth and grace to your eyes. You might feel that working on your lashes will require way too much effort. But, much to your surprise, everything your lashes need is contained in a natural ingredient - castor oil. Consisting of Omega-3 fatty acids, which are highly hydrating, they will avoid your lashes from breaking and also strengthen them. Apply castor oil on your lashes before you sleep and watch them grow thick and healthy within a few weeks! Taking care of your hair : Skim leave-in conditioner through your hair in the evening and let them stay on till the morning. This will let them become soft and shiny. You can also use coconut oil as an alternate conditioner. Readying your nails for polish : Depending on the skin type, the nails of certain people become dry. If you are one of them, it would be best to apply a cuticle cream or oil on them before you sleep to wake up to polish-ready nails.
21 foods for a healthy heartFollowing is a list of heart-healthy food substances: Garlic: Did you ever think that the commonly available garlic in your kitchen can be heart healthy? It may be smelly for some, but for the heart it is a soothing substance. Garlic is known to control blood pressure, serum triglyceride level & cholesterol level. Carrot: Carrots, though taste sweet, have the ability to control blood sugar levels because of high level of antioxidants in them. So include carrots in your diet, especially in salads. Orange: This juicy fruit has cholesterol-lowering ability because of fibre pectin in it and also helps control blood pressure. Almonds: Though all nuts are believed to be nutritious, almonds are considered to be heart healthy. Almonds are rich in vitamin E, calcium, plant sterols, fibre and antioxidants. Almonds help in lowering LDL cholesterol and reducing risk of diabetes. Walnuts: Walnuts are rich in omega 3 fatty acids, monounsaturated fats which help in lowering cholesterol levels.  Oatmeal: Oats are very healthy & help in lowering the bad LDL cholesterol. You can have one bowl of oatmeal mixed in milk along with nuts as breakfast. Flaxseed: This honey coloured shiny seeds contain substances which are heart healthy, such as lignans, ALA and omega 3 fatty acids. It helps in lowering cholesterol level and controlling diabetes. Tofu: It is a type of soybean protein which can be replaced with paneer. Tofu is rich in fibre and polyunsaturated fats which prevent clogging of arteries.  Barley: The fibre in barley is believed to lower cholesterol and blood glucose levels.  Tuna fish: Tuna fish is rich in omega 3 fatty acids which helps in lowering cholesterol levels.  Salmon: It is very good for heart as it is rich in omega 3, EPA and DHA. It lowers and reduces the risk of inflammation in arteries. It is also believed to maintain the ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol. Red wine: Red wine contains catechins and resveratrol, good for heart health.  Black beans: They are a rich source of magnesium which helps in lowering blood pressure. It also contains folate, antioxidants and fibre which is helpful in controlling blood sugar and cholesterol levels. Fresh herbs: If you are hypertensive and want to control your salt intake then try using fresh herbs as a substitute for salt. It also contains antioxidants which are good for heart. Herbs include rosemary, sage, oregano and thyme. Extra virgin olive oil: This is rich in heart-healthy polyphenols & monounsaturated fats. As it's very costly you can use it as a topping for bread or salad. Sweet potatoes: White potatoes are believed to increase glycemic index so you can replace them with sweet potatoes. It is heart healthy as it has low glycemic index and also contains fibre, vitamin A and lycopene. Low fat yoghurt: You can include this in your breakfast safely as it contains calcium & potassium which helps in lowering blood pressure. Dried cherries: They are rich in anthocyanins and antioxidants which help in neutralizing the action of enzymes which cause plaque formation. In winter you should opt for strawberries, blueberries for a healthy heart. Cayenne chili pepper: Your blood sugar normally increases post a meal. By sprinkling cayenne chili pepper over your food can help preventing insulin level spike post meals. Hot cocoa: Coffee helps in patients with type 2 diabetes. Hot cocoa contains antioxidants helpful for heart. Kosher salt:  This is very beneficial for heart patients as it contains half the amount of sodium as compared to table salt and thus helps in controlling high blood pressure.
12 Surprising pain triggersPain, one word that can send shivers down one's spine and can make one go weak in the knees. Such is the effect of pain, you utter the 1st alphabet of this word everyone dreads and you see how the room full of people will stare at you in horror. Now, pain can be of different types, good pains (No! I am not crazy, there is such a thing as good pain, don't get the gist of it, well the good pain is none other than labor pain) and then there is bad pain. Now, bad pain can be caused by a number of things, say you dropping a paper weight on your foot or eating something super cold (that hurts the teeth so much, you can barely talk) worse, pain from an accidental fall. Now, pains are common with both men as well as women, they both have abdominal pains, headaches, muscle pains, and back pains, but there are some forms of pains which are pretty common with the men folks rather than the women. Let's have a look at what those surprising pain triggers are: Wallet: Yes! You heard that right, according to Dr. Mehmet Oz, wallet is known to be one of the major surprising pain triggers. Having your wallet in your back pocket while driving, can cause chronic back pains, pain in the hips as well as shoulders. Since the wallet is in your back pocket, you sit unevenly, with one butt cheek being lower and one higher due to the wallet. So the solution to this problem is to keep your wallet in the glove box of your car or your bag. Phone: Phone, or any kind of technology gadget, is known to be the other surprising pain trigger. Want to know the pain these little gadgets can inflict? Well, it starts from the neck down. Since you are constantly bending down and hovering over your gadget, it can cause back pain, muscle pain, and headaches. Solution: Use a stand to hold these gadgets, so you wouldn't have to bend down or hover over your gadgets. Another cost effective solution happens to be taking frequent breaks and relieving yourself of the pain. Extra weight: Yes, the other evil, this is the one thing that can cause physical as well as mental anguish. Gaining a few extra kilos or pounds especially in the abdominal section, can cause massive stress to your spine and also cause realignment of your body structure. The only solution to get rid of this pain is to lead an active lifestyle, eat healthy food, and exercise to shed those extra kilos or pounds. Work schedule: If you have a hectic work schedule, chances are you aren't getting any rest, due to which the stress increases. The only way to get rid of this problem is to find a way out of your crazy schedule and have some time to relax and do activities that you like and enjoy, so that the stress that is mounting up on you can be relieved. Perfume: Shocked, aren't you? Well, this is another one of the pain triggers that can wreak havoc on you. Perfumes are known to contain certain fragrances and chemicals that can cause headaches. The only solution is to stop using perfumes that have those chemicals and use a fan at work, so that lingering smell of perfume won't give you a headache. Bad weather: This is another one that causes more pain or mental anguish. Bad weather can cause mood swings and terrible headache. The solution to this problem is taking a painkiller on the day of the bad weather to save you further from the throbbing headache. Bright lights: These can often cause a bad eye soar, not only that, they are also responsible for migraines. The solution is use sunglasses whenever out on the sun. Exercise: This might make you men folks go crazy, but the truth is too much of an exercise can also cause pain. Where, you might ask? Well, how about the muscles or headaches or even back pains for that reason. The solution to this problem is to stop exercising, well not totally, but, you should only exercise for the amount of time prescribed by your trainer or doctor. You don't need to go overboard. Cuts of meats: Yeah, these cuts or cold cuts as they are known, are one of the major reasons of causing headaches and stomach aches. The solution to this problem is to avoid eating raw or frozen foods as much as possible. Skipping Meals: You don't need to be an "Einstein" to figure this one out. Skipping meals, whatsoever the reason maybe, causes the blood sugar levels to drop down to a considerably low level which can cause migraines or severe headaches. The solution to this problem is to eat at regular intervals; this way you won't have headaches and your calories will also remain in check. Smoking: Don't be surprised, smoking has a slew of risks attached to it. Well, to begin with it causes asthma, it causes cancer (ranging from the esophagus to the lung), but it also causes frequent headaches. The only solution to help you get rid of these ailments and pains is to stop smoking. Caffeine: The pain related to caffeine is more mental or psychological than anything else. If you are a person who is addicted to caffeine, chances are you can't live without it. The solution to this problem is slowly and steadily cutting down the amount of caffeine you have. Shocked are you at the kind of things that can cause pain? Well, no need to be! Our body can shock us in ways we can't imagine. So don't be surprised the next time you have any sudden outbursts of pains.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!Small mistakes that we keep committing become, over a period of time, serious health problems that are potentially life threatening. Given here is a list of the 10 most common mistakes that we make when it comes to heart health. Ignoring the health check-up: Your last reports said you were fit as a fiddle. So you haven't gone for a check-up since then? Our health becomes the first thing we sideline in today's fast-paced lives. Most of the heart diseases do not show any signs and symptoms in the early stages and when the signs and symptoms come up, too much of damage has already been done. So it becomes very essential to go for regular health check ups. If you are in your twenties it would be advised to get your cholesterol checked every 5 years, blood glucose every 2 years. Beyond 45 years though the frequency of health, check-ups should increase. Body Mass Index is something that you should get checked every time you visit your doctor. Skipping breakfast: Breakfast is the most important part of what you eat the whole day. Most of us tend to skip breakfast due to lack of time, fear of weight gain. But starting your day without breakfast is like driving on reserve fuel. You will start fine, but end up feeling dull and sluggish towards the end of the day. Skipping breakfast has been associated with development of diabetes mellitus and obesity. These two have a strong co-morbidity with cardiovascular diseases. No wonder then it is said, breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. Too much of sun-blocking: We are people obsessed with fairness and it is understandable that one wouldn't want to get tanned by going out in the sun. Some amount of sunlight exposure is very vital for health. Vitamin D is synthesized by the body from cholesterol with the help of sun rays. Recent studies reveal that people with little or no exposure to sunlight tend to develop arterial plaques that end up in heart attacks, high blood pressure or strokes! Going for the fizz : Aerated drinks are loaded with triglycerides that are a part of the bad cholesterol. They thicken the blood and it becomes difficult for it to flow through the arteries. This leads to several complications. Not watching what you eat: Often we are so caught up in our work that we just grab a quick bite to eat without paying heed to what actually we are eating. Fast foods are extremely unhealthy and wreck havoc onour systems. Missing fruits and fibres: Fibrous food are extremely heart friendly. The fibres help in pushing out the cholesterol out of the body. Beans, oats and barley are all extremely fibre-rich. Fruits are a rich source of vitamins and minerals. They contain potassium that is extremely essential to neutralize the effects of sodium. By doing this they help in regulating the blood pressure. Citrus fruits too have a high amount of potassium in them. Avoiding walking: Walking is the simplest form of exercise the body can get. 10 minutes of brisk walking is extremely helpful for the heart to keep functioning efficiently. Not sleeping well: The body needs 6 to 8 hours of undisturbed sleep for it to reboot and get back its full functioning capacity.  A sound sleep at night reduces the blood pressure and regularizes the heart beats. People compromising on sleep are the ones most prone to suffer from heart attacks and high blood pressure. Not flossing your teeth: Gingivitis is the inflammation of gums. This inflammation hosts large number of germs that leak into the bloodstream and reach the heart causing a number of heart problems. People who floss daily not only have good oral hygiene, they also have a healthy heart. Forgetting the Family: Many heart diseases tend to run in the family. It is very important to know the medical history of your parents and grandparents. The risks of you developing heart diseases are high if someone in your family already has them.
Reasons for skipping sexThe most important satisfaction brick in a marriage's foundation, sex is where we show the greatest trust, most openly express intimacy and make ourselves most vulnerable. It is the most personal and private area of our relationship. It is the one area that separates this relationship from all others. Yet, there are times for both husbands and wives when sex becomes a burden and not a blessing, an inconvenience instead of intimacy, and a job instead of jubilee. Curious as to why people might be skipping sex? This is only a partial list and far from exhaustive. Reasons related to your body: I have a migraine. I have a stomachache. My body is too tired. My breasts are too sore. I am too sleepy. I can't keep my eyes open. I just need to take a little nap first. Okay, but I have a rash. Okay, but I have several weird looking cold sores. Reasons related to your emotions: I am depressed. I am worried. I am sad. Cry Reasons related to your kids: The kids are still up. We might wake up the kids. I just had a baby. This baby is wearing me out. Reasons related to your experts: My therapist said I need to give myself some time. My counselor said I should create some boundaries. I have to see my Gynecologist tomorrow. The Doctor gave me these sleeping pills for stress and I just took one. Reasons related to your spouse: Who was that girl / guy you were talking to on the phone? Sex, Sex, Sex All you ever want is sex! Why can't you just hold me? You should have asked in a more romantic way! Why do you have to use such crude language? Reasons related to your weather: It's just too hot. It's just too cold. It's too humid. Reasons related to your economy: When the economy improves. When the interest rates go down. When inflation goes down Reasons related to your special circumstances: We just got back from vacation! When I lose 20 kgs. Reasons related to your friends: I need to make a call first. My friend said they only do it once a month. Reasons related to your pets: The dog can see us. The cat is on the bed. Reasons related to your finances: Okay, but first we need to talk about the bills. Why did you charge this hotel room on our credit card? Reasons related to your job or boss: I have to get up early tomorrow. I was up all night last night. I had a long day at work today. The boss just gave me a new project and I have a lot of work to do Reasons related to your religion: Doesn't the Bible warn against having too much sex. I am sorry, but I just took a vow. I am giving up sex for Lent. Reasons related to your in-laws: We are in your parent's house. I have not been able to concentrate since your mother Your parents will hear us. Offer an alternative: Can I just take care of you in the shower? Okay, but you have to drive the kids to school in the morning. Use evasive tactics: Sneak in and go to sleep early. Okay, but let's watch this movie first. It's just too late. I'll be there in a minute. (Take an hour) Can we just cuddle? I just need you to hold me. Ask a sensitive question: Did you go to the bank and make our deposit today? Have you seen the kid's report cards? Wait for your spouse to tease you and then say coldly, well, you just lost whatever you were going to get tonight.
Sex after 40Sexual changes in normal aging after 40: Erection takes longer time Require manual stimulation, particularly by partner Erection may subside during foreplay or coitus Decreased frequency of nocturnal erection Pre-ejaculatory fluid decrease or absent Ejaculation less forceful Seminal fluid volume decreases or absent Frequency of desire for sexual release decreases with age. Aged couples learn to cope with their own sexuality. Some are happy with foreplay and self masturbation, others insist on more usually it is the male. Frequency of sexual intercourse between 20-95 years : Sexual intercourse decreases with age as the study shows. Decreased during 5year interval after 34 years Weekly frequency: 30 - 34 years 2.2%; 60 - 64 years 0.7%; 65  - 74 years 0.4%; 75 - 79 years 0.3% Do we need to change this pattern with Viagra? I would say yes - sex can be  joyful till the last days. Nobody needs to be impotent now. Home devices like rubber bands, ribbons are also used to hold the blood back in the penis when the erection is not adequate. Vacuum pump to draw blood into penis with an application of a ring after erection is also found suitable by some. Active intervention by drugs (both allopathy, ayurvedic and unani) have been successfully developed. They may be applied topically (minidoxil), inhaled (amyl nitrate) inserted into the urethral passage, injected into the corpus cavernosa or taken orally (Sildenafil, Tadalafil, etc.). Finally if all fails silastic rods can be implanted in the penis to give permanent erection. The joy of living lasts a life time.
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