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Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Health check up checklist for men Prostate Cancer - Prostate cancer is the lesser known killer in men. It is a slow growing cancer, but at times, its symptoms can be aggressive as well. Detecting prostate cancer at its onset can help in treating it effectively. Tests include a digital rectal exam and a blood test for Prostate Specific Antigens (PSA). Testicular Cancer - This uncommon cancer can affect any male between the ages 21 to 55. A physical exam during yearly medical checkups is recommended for all men. Men having a higher risk, with family history, should speak to their doctors regarding additional tests for screening. Self-examination through regular gentle palpation of the testicles to notice any change in shape or size, presence of lumps is also suggested by doctors. Colorectal Cancer - This is the second most common cancer in men. Men over 50 and younger, if they have a familial risk, are suggested to get a screening colonoscopy done to detect this cancer. It usually starts as a polyp that grows and invades the nearby areas to develop into a full-blown cancer. The polyps, if detected early, can be removed and cancer prevented. A CT scan or a double barium enema can also help in detecting polyps. High Blood Pressure - With the kind of lifestyle men lead today, almost every other man is bound to have BP issues. Regularly checking the BP is essential as it helps detect high BP which may lead to a variety of other problems including stroke and heart attacks. The sooner the detection, the sooner the measures for control. Cholesterol Levels - Bad eating habits, sedentary lifestyle, and mental stress can all lead to lots of cholesterol roaming around in your arteries. This will eventually clog the arteries and cause diseases like high blood pressure and atherosclerosis which can be life-threatening. Get your total cholesterol, LDL, VLDL, HDL, and triglyceride levels checked regularly and initiate timely interventions to bring them under control. HIV - This is the most commonly spreading STD among men. Due to its chronic nature, HIV is often detected accidentally when it may be too late. Regular tests for HIV detection are essential if one is physically active with multiple partners. Be safe though and use a condom. Glaucoma - It is extremely common and is one of the leading causes of blindness. Glaucoma has no cure, but it can be controlled well with timely detection. Screening tests should be undertaken by men under 40 years at an interval of 2 to 3 years after 35. A yearly test is recommended for older men.
Menopause and mental health!Menopause is the period in a woman's life when her man claims she is going crazy. It is also the time when her period is on the decline and hormones are in complete disarray. Depression, insomnia, irritability, mood swings and lack of concentration are few symptoms that the lady has to battle with. These symptoms may begin as early as 4 years before the actual menopause and may continue for several years after that! For women, menopause is a significant turning point in their lives. The dropping levels of oestrogen and the resultant physical and mental symptoms can be like a cycle of events, only adding to their woes! Depression: Depression affects every middle-aged woman. An estimated 20% of women have depression at some point during menopause. The peak period for depression is during the perimenopausal years, when the woman is approaching menopause. The reason for this, say experts, is the fact that most women dread menopause. Even though for some it means an end to years of menstrual cramps, for most others it signifies an end to their womanhood. The very idea is sufficient enough to bring on lots of negative thoughts and depression. Not only this, the reason for depression during perimenopausal and menopausal age is the fluctuating hormones. Research shows that the levels of reproductive hormones, specifically oestrogen are responsible for the mental changes. Changes in the sleep pattern: Insomnia is seen in 40 to 50% of women in the menopausal transition phase. Women who spend sleepless nights are more likely than others to show irritability, crankiness, stress and depressive symptoms. Sleep disturbances during menopause have been linked to the decreasing oestrogen levels. Indeed this claim can be held true as several women respond positively to exogenous hormone therapy. One study claims that sleep changes are linked to the Luteinizing Hormone levels, which also results in increased body temperature. Sleep apnea too occurs in the menopausal transition age. This is due to decreased progesterone level, as progesterone plays an important role in respiration. The weight gain that happens during menopause has also been shown to cause sleep apnea. Panic disorder: Panic disorder is commonly seen during the perimenopause stage. Existing disorder may worsen or new disorder may arise. Panic disorder is usually manifested in women who show several physical symptoms of menopause. The panic attacks are usually associated with negative life events, pre-existing medical diseases and decreased daily functionality. Obsessive compulsive disorder: New onset of OCD, worsening of the existing condition or change in the pattern of symptoms is seen during menopause. OCD changes are also observed during pregnancy and during the menstrual changes, suggesting the impact of hormones on symptoms of OCD. Bipolar disorder: Women with bipolar disorder experience an exacerbation of symptoms during the perimenopausal stage. These women are also the ones that are highly likely to experience severe depression in the menopausal phase. Schizophrenia: Schizophrenia usually manifests itself in young adulthood. The rate of new cases decreases gradually thereafter, in both men and women. In women, however, there is a second peak in the 45-50 years age group. This peak is not observed in men. This suggests that oestrogen may play a significant role in triggering schizophrenia or worsening the pre-existing condition.
Infertility at workplaceSince infertility among the younger age is increasing, it is important that a couple decides an early suitable date to attempt conception. Time and again it has been found that infrequency of intercourse is the cause of delayed pregnancy. It is advisable that the woman has a thorough examination by the gynecologists to identify the ovulation dates and for the man to have a thorough spermatic fluid check.  If both are normal then they could wait for a suitable date later. Should there be a problem the quicker it is attended to better. Also, early in the marriage they should start a fund which could be utilized for matters related to conception. For the male, the main treatment covers his personal sex life and a detailed examination of his spermatic fluid. It is the female who has to undergo many detailed tests and possibly surgeries which are expensive. It is often seen that not only the procedures for both take a toll on their personal and intimate relationship but also severely affect their finances which may come to a point that it does not allow them to complete the treatment as for e.g. the woman undergoing IVF may costs several lakhs of rupees. The treatment of infertility has improved greatly, but interferes severely with the work schedule. Working couples particularly women may have a hard time keeping to their schedules. Depending on their infertility diagnosis, many workplace challenges exist including the need to take time off to undergo tests and other appointments. It is difficult to balance the medical and surgical procedures with daily life and work. This is a difficult issue for many people as they fear their employer may discriminate against them for taking time off from work. Sadly in India there are very few employers who include medical benefits and cost of treatment for infertility. Suggestions have been given on stress dealing with infertility treatment and work. Here are few pitfalls to avoid: Do Your Homework: Review your organization's HR policies so you understand the amount of leave you have and other policies that pertain to your situation. You may be able to arrange for flex time or work from home on the days of your appointments, so that you do not actually miss any work. Be Honest:  Go to supervisor and let her or him know that you will be using your leave time and will give as much notice as possible. Honesty is the best policy. Remember people are inherently curious about the disease of infertility. If you feel the questions are invasive and make you feel uncomfortable, remember you do not have to answer the questions. You can respond nicely and let them know that you appreciate their concern but you are not ready to answer any questions. Your co-workers are asking question because it is human nature to be curious. In conclusion, not everyone needs to know what is happening with your reproductive health. At work place should medical help be available do take advantage of it.  This treatment has nothing to do with your performance at work. Go to work feeling confident that you will be able to perform your job and handle your workload during this time.
A baby - proofed guide to childcareCaring for kids is an important task. Everyone wishes to nourish kids in a loving and caring yet protective atmosphere. Initial stages of development call for more care and attention. Health, hygiene and safety at home and outside are important when it comes to kids. Here are a few helpful tips to all the parents: Nurture your infants with massage. Learn a right way or get it done from a professional. It is a great therapy to make muscles strong and bond with the baby. Prolonged crying bothers parents a lot. Usually continuous crying for long hours is suggestive of colic or stomach ache. It is the most common problem in kids, the reason being immature gastric system. Do not panic. Keep medicines at hand and give them as per instructions by your kid's doctor. Toddlers often insist on being carried even when they know how to walk well. Make sure to hold them comfortably. Diapering a baby is a skill that must be mastered especially when the baby is fidgety. Holding baby in right position flat on the back simplifies the task. Parents adapt to doing the job effortlessly with practice. Transition period of swapping from breastfeed to bottle known as weaning is a tough task for most of the babies. Consider gentle weaning strategies advised by the doctors. Do not be abrupt. Go slow! Some Safety Tips: Cap and lock the medicines, detergents, chemicals etc. in containers keeping them far away from the children. Bathingwater should be always checked before bathing the baby. Do not leave kids alone near water tub or any water source alone. Avoid leaving baby in a highchair to prevent injuries such asbaby climbing out, falling, or sliding. Lock up all the knives, matches, and plastic bags away from children to prevent poisonings, bleeding injuries, burns and suffocation.
Avoiding nappy rash - A few words of adviceNappy rash is a skin condition that takes its name from the nappy in which a baby is wrapped. It is a reddish rash, or tender skin around the buttocks and inner thighs of babies, which occurs due to prolonged wetness from either urine, or stools, or both. Nappy rash may be in the form of an unusually tender bottom on a child, or an inflammation around the genitals, and inner thighs, or folds of the skin. It generally occurs in really small babies, less than a year old. Most times, nappy rash is not a very serious condition, provided care is taken. No matter what type of nappy you use, whether promising complete dryness, or absorbent nappies, your baby is likely to develop 'nappy rash' at least once. The rash can make the baby feel uncomfortable, and cranky as a result. Steps to avoid nappy rash: Always ensure that your baby's bottom remains dry by changing nappies at regular intervals. Use a mild medicated baby soap which will help in keeping the skin around the inner thighs and buttocks soft. Give your baby some nappy free hours. You will be the best judge to know when she is likely to have comparatively dry spells, which can allow the skin and parts below the waist some breathing space. Regular bathing should take care of most rash related problems. Use an emollient, or medicated soap for bathing. Sometimes, nappy rash is a result of a thrush or yeast infection. The baby's resistance at these times is low so that it allows the yeast to thrive in the form of ugly red patches. Always show a medic to rule out the possibility of bacterial infections. Anti-fungal creams should also take care of normal nappy rashes.    
Boost your self-esteemSimply believe in yourself. Life need to be made lighter. Pulling yourself down over trivial mistakes and not reaching certain standard definitely does not help.  Your self-esteem affects the way you interpret messages from others. It affects relationships, academic achievement, and living life to the fullest. Thus, recognize your true potential in life and work towards it. Those who have a high self-esteem always have an “I think I can” or “I will” attitude! This makes life much happier for them. Ups and downs in life are inevitable, but this should not bring down your self-esteem. One should work towards maintaining a high self-esteem at all times.  You need to have the power to control your self-esteem. It should not suffer from negative messages from others; in fact, negative messages should be viewed as constructive criticism. There are many ways in which self-esteem can be given a boost. Accept yourself and increase your inner stability so that you will not need validation or attention from other people. Meet new people. Follow examples of successful people. Don’t worry about how others might judge you. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Failures may come your way, but they are the best teachers in life. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Make the most with what you are best at, and strengthen your weaknesses. Focus on the positives and practice positive self-talk for encouragement. Avoid doing things just to “go along with the crowd.” Gather courage to express yourselves and ‘stand out’ from the crowd, as every new encounter is a learning experience. Develop a support system of friends. They will give due emotional back-up. Put into place good healthy habits; ensure the right kind of diet. Controlling the mind is essential for a healthy body. A stress-free mind is healthy and calm, which will incorporate positive thoughts. Give credit where the credit is due. Praise others and accept compliments in good spirit. This builds confidence. Keep criticism to a minimum, as it brings about negativity. Appreciate life. Look your best to feel your best. It is important to be well groomed. Improve your personal living space. Perfect your skills and practice your talents. Reward yourself often. It’s nice to pamper yourself once in a while. Stop comparing yourself to others; this will increase your stress levels unnecessarily. Your self-worth should not be based upon what others think of you, but how you feel about yourself. Communicate with others, colleagues, neighbors, family, and friends. Be social. Do something for someone else – a random act of kindness! They fill up the void and bring about a different level of happiness. It is beneficial to spend some time alone by yourself. Review your mistakes and analyze the experiences in your life. This should be carried out as a self-therapy, and not as a habit. Do not become a loner. Everyone is a unique. No one else is like you in the whole wide world. This makes you special already! Everything starts with you and ends with you. Remember, nobody can insult you without your permission!! A low self-esteem gives rise to health problems like depression, loss of interest in life, and stress. It is not difficult to correct this stage which comes in everyone’s life. Learn to rise above these shortcomings and improve your outlook about yourself. Confidence comes from not always being right, but learning to be wrong. - Peter T. McIntyre.
Crave for non-food substances to put in your mouth? Go ahead take your pica!We all have strong cravings in some form or the other, especially for food. Just thinking of a chocolate cake or ice cream can set the mouth watering and the hand creeping to open the refrigerator. However, some people have an unusual craving and it is to consume non-food items. Everyone knows that children are known to eat chalk, dirt or lick walls but at times, even adults have this unusual craving for non-food items. This condition is termed as 'Pica'. One can understand a child popping something into its mouth as it's discriminatory skills are not developed, but what about fully grown adults who have this habit? Is it a mental ailment? One can't really call it a full blown mental condition as it occurs commonly in pregnant women. The cravings are as strong as any other food craving and sometimes these people go out of the way to satiate their cravings. So, right from paint thinner, to chalk to ink, ice, plaster, paint, linoleum to plastic bits can form the obsession or craving. Pica is a combination of psychological and biochemical processes and is generally a deficiency which sets about these intense cravings.  When pica strikes pregnant women, then it could be a cause for much concern and the doctor should be kept informed. While it is easier to indulge a pregnant woman's ice cream cravings if she also develops a thing for iron fillings on top of her ice cream, then obviously it can be a rather dangerous thing to do. Ice and chalk are comparatively harmless and other than affecting the teeth and the taste, do nothing much else, but what about turpentine and toxic materials? They can definitely interfere with the body's digestive processes and can even spread harmful toxins in the body to cause blood poisoning, intestinal infections, bowel blockages and lead poisoning or arsenic poisoning.  If you have such strong non-food cravings then before you give in to them talk about it to a medical practitioner. It could well be an iron deficiency or perhaps even anemia which is attracting you to chew pencils up or making you pop dirt in your mouth. If you are pregnant then certainly the doctor will need to address the underlying issue and ensure that the pica goes away before you deliver. Wouldn't want you chewing up the baby's soother now would we?
When the grey matters!Greying of hair happens to all of us at some point in life. Some may get it early and other fortunate ones may get it when they are 50. Premature greying and hair fall is a common problem faced by 70% of females in India these days. What are the causes of greying of hair and what can be done if your hair starts to go grey early? What are the probable causes of grey hair and hair fall? Deficiency of nutrients in diet. Excessive stress. Dandruff. Diseases like thyroid disorders, anemia, and vitiligo. Side effects of certain medication. Hair problems are seen more in women who smoke or drink. Childbirth and menopause are the periods of life when most of the women invariably have hair loss. Hereditary pattern of premature greying. Today's beauty procedures like coloring, bleaching, dyeing, perming, and straightening cause hair problems at a young age. Environmental pollution. Treatment and prevention Have a balanced diet. Ensure proper nutrients reach your body in every meal. If you are anemic, treat it with proper medication. This can be an underlying cause. Have a good sleep. Avoid tension and stress. Apply oil regularly and massage. Drink lots of water. Avoid exposure to chemicals. What can be done to hide the grey hair? Apply amla oil to your hair to make it healthy. Apply henna, lemon juice, fenugreek seeds paste, made in an iron container, on your hair to give them a color and reduce greying. Boil gooseberry pieces in coconut oil. When they turn black apply it on the hair. If you have 45-50% grey hair then you can use a permanent hair color.
Fair skin - A modern obsession!History of Complexion - Complexion generally refers to the natural color, appearance, and texture of the skin, particularly on the face. Originated from the late Latin term 'complexio', complexion is traditionally referred to the temperament which was determined on the basis of the proportion of qualities of hot, wet, dry, and cold in the human body. It was believed that the body carried these qualities depending on the climate in which the individual lived. Thus, a person living in a cold climate was seen to have 'colder and moister' complexion and so on. The biological facet of complexion mentioned below tells us how the skin adapts its color according to the climate it finds itself in. Moreover, it was also seen to represent the character of the person into different categories like melancholic, choleric, sanguine, and phlegmatic. Complexion was the center which reflected the qualities which make a balanced person. Skin color is determined by the presence of pigment melanin. Located in the outer skin layer called epidermis, it is produced by cells called melanocytes. These cells contain receptors which are photosensitive and which detect the ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sun and other factors. In response to this detection, they give out melanin after exposure. The Biology of Complexion - The complexion of the body ranges from very dark brown of Africa and Aboriginal Australia to pink with yellowish hue of the Northern Europeans. In actuality, there is no skin which is black, yellow, red or white in absolute - it is generally a hue of many colors with one dominating over the other. Our biological actuality is not reflected by the words we use for our complexion these days. Skin color is determined by the presence of pigment melanin. This pigment is under the control of 6 genes. Both complexions of dark and light have melanin. Spatially located in the outer skin layer (called epidermis), it is produced by cells called melanocytes. These cells contain receptors which are photosensitive and which detect the ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sun and other factors. In response to this detection, they give out melanin after exposure. Those in tropical latitudes, where there is highest exposure to sun, have darker skin which contains melanin acting as a protective biological envelope against UV radiation. This protective layer prevents sunburns and other damages including those that could increase the risk of melanoma. The UV radiation reaching the earth increases during summers and reduces in winters. The skin adapts to this change by tanning - tanning indicates that your skin is increasing the size and amount of melanin grains to protect against the UV. Thus, your skin color is essentially determined by genetics and the geography of the place you live in. Biological Fact to Social Conclusion - We generally mold the biological fact of adaptability of our skin into a social meter of beauty. The complexion is a biological wonder of the nature which allows the skin to absorb enough vitamin D, prevent many illnesses like anemia, osteoporosis, and rickets determined by its environment. Thus, to claim that a certain skin color is superior to others is to only deny the reality of biology related to our skin and body, thus falling into the fallacy of unjustifiably jumping from a biological fact to a social conclusion. The health of your skin must be the starting point to declaring its beauty, not a presupposed social standard unrepresentative of the reality of the body. Taking Care of Your Skin - Every skin color is determined by its biological framework placed within the environmental setup. It is essential to take care of your skin to ensure that it is healthy and well taken care of : Make sure you eat a well-balanced and nutritious diet. Stay away from junk and heavily processed food items. Sleep for at least 7-8 hours daily to ensure that your skin gets enough time to recharge its mechanism. Drink loads of water to keep your skin hydrated. Go through the daily care routine: cleanse, tone, moisturize, and exfoliate. Use rose water to remove your make-up and ensure that you do not go to bed with make-up on. Keep dirt and germs away from your skin. The best way is to avoid touching your face with hands when you are out. A clean environment is the fertile ground for a healthy skin. Make sure you wash your pillows, their covers and clean the house regularly to keep away pollutants. Stress is one of the main causes of your skin's health withering. Your skin is the outer reflection of your inner mental state. Work towards mental detoxification to cheer up your skin and body.
Flash the pearliesRemember the lines from the song, Words? Smile an everlasting smile, a smile can bring you near to me.  Well, ideally, you wouldn't want your teeth to be yellow when you flash that smile. So for those who have shades of yellow on their teeth, here's how you can go back to white. It's first important to understand what causes yellowing of the teeth. Eating habits: Carbonated drinks dissolve teeth enamel. Tea, coffee and other caffeinated drink stain the teeth yellow.In addition, alcohol and cigarette smoking too can stain teeth. Tobacco chewing especially produces stains that are difficult to remove.Food rich in artificial sweeteners are harmful for teeth. They not only make the teeth yellow but also produce cavities. Chocolates, pastries, ice-creams and all such sugar-rich foods are sticky. They stick to teeth and have corroding effect on tooth enamel and dentin and cause yellow teeth, decay and toothache. Oral hygiene: Poor hygiene of oral cavity leads to stains and caries. Take good care of your teeth. Brush teeth twice. Floss them and use a mouthwash. Ageing: Gradual loss of enamel and wear and tear lead to yellow teeth. Medicines: Medicines like iron tablets, tetracycline too can lead to yellow teeth. Injury: Trauma to teeth can sometimes lead to yellowing. This is common amongst kids. Preventing yellowing of teeth Maintain a good dental hygiene. Brush twice for atleast 3-4 minutes. But be gentle while brushing teeth. Gargle every time after you eat.This removes the leftover food particles and keeps the teeth clean. Avoid use of local powders or corrosive substances. They damage enamel. Fruits like apple, cucumber, and carrot act like cleansing agents and keep teeth clean. Fruits like sweet lime are rich in vitamin C and help to keep gums and teeth healthy.
10 simple ways to get rid of hiccupsHiccups are simply a sudden involuntary contraction of the diaphragm. Diaphragm is the muscle on which the lungs rest and it is above the stomach. The contractions happen several times within a minute and goes on for several minutes. Every contraction is followed by the sound 'hic'. And hence the name - hiccups. Sometimes hiccups can occur in the most awkward situations - just before an important interview, just as you lie down on the bed to sleep, or even during a meeting. Hiccups in difficult situation can be a big problem. Some simple tricks could help you get rid of them. It helps to know different techniques you can use to stop hiccups, for only one may not always work. Hold your breath: Inhale deep and long, and then hold on to the breath. This may help the diaphragm to relax and hiccups will stop. Drink warm water: Take about ten or more big gulps of water, with quick swallowing. This will help the irritation of diaphragm to go away. Close your ears: Use a thick small roll of cotton or use your fingers to plug your ears and close it. Do this for about 30 seconds. Alternatively, you can also firmly press upon the soft tissue of the ears from behind, next to the ear lobes. This helps to relax a nerve which then relaxes the diaphragm. Take your tongue out: Pull out your tongue, as out as you can and keep it that way for a few seconds. This helps in better breathing, relaxing any spasms that may be causing the hiccups. Breathe with mouth covered: Press both your palms over your mouth to close it and continue breathing only through the nose. This intends to create a discomfort that will cause some distraction for the nerves and the hiccups will stop. Breathe in a paper bag: Breathe deeply into a paper bag. Do not cover your whole face with the paper bag, just the nose and mouth. Hug yourself: Pull your knees up, close to the chest and wrap your arms around. Hug yourself tight for a couple of minutes. The pressure also helps to relax the diaphragm. Have some sugar: Have a spoonful of plain grainy sugar and keep it in the mouth. Swallow slowly. Lemon at your service: Pick a piece of lemon, put it in your mouth, and let it be there. Do not chew; just suck it slowly for a few minutes. This will also help the hiccups go away. Just wait:  Nine out of ten times, the hiccups will go away on their own, after giving you a little trouble, of course. If you are not too uncomfortable with hiccups, be patient and give them a few minutes. Most likely, they will pass off as spontaneously as they had come. "I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends." - Bill Watterson
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
Stress-free sex: Know your safe period!Having sex is a pleasurable thing; and the nicest way to enjoy it, is to give in without being bogged down by the fears of getting pregnant. Not every act of sexual intercourse will result in pregnancy. There are days when your chances of conception are very high, just like there are days when the chances of getting pregnant are almost nil. Identifying these days will help you enjoy a better and a more stressfree sex life! A woman's menstrual cycle starts from the first day of  bleeding and ends about 28 days after that, on an average. Ovulation occurs on the 14 day of the menstrual cycle. The 14th day is the ideal day, theoretically. Since every woman's menstrual cycle differs, the day of the ovulation also differs. Hence doctors calculate the fertile period from the 12th to the 18th day of the menstrual cycle. This is the period when the chances of ovulating and hence getting pregnant, are optimal. The 1st to the 7th day and the 19th day to the start of the next cycle, are the days when the ovulation chances are very low. This means if you make love during these days, there are very little chances of you getting pregnant. This is the case with women who have regular period cycles. In case your cycles are not regular, then you would need to do a bit of math to calculate your safe period. For example, if your shortest cycle is of 26 days and the longest cycle has been of 31 days, then: 26-18= 8 and 31-10=21, which means the 8th to the 21st day of your cycle, are the most fertile days. The 1st to the 7th day and then the 21st day to the start of your next cycle, are the days that are safe for you to enjoy sex, without fear of getting pregnant. Opting to have sex during the 'safe period', isn't always fool-proof though. A lot of women have irregular cycles and the cycle length can vary from woman to woman; which is why the so-called 'safe period', is in truth, not 100% safe. It is always better to use condoms or other contraceptive methods like the oral pill to prevent unwanted pregnancies.
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