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Anger management in menThis isn't a tirade against TV Violence. On the contrary, why blame the movies for spewing out blood, guts and gore, when all they really do is reflect the times we live in. Art imitates life doesn't it? So why blame the rising crime graph and street violence on TV and movies? Why not peep within our own selves and see the sheer ferocity of the anger which we project collectively on box office sell-outs. Examine the angry man within. So well you shrug it off and say "We didn't start the fire, it's been always burning since the world's been turning." You can certainly do your bit to help douse that fire before it turns into a conflagration, spiralling out of control until it consumes you mentally, physically and spiritually. Anger is bad. Period. Inscrutable and mysterious indeed are the ways of anger. It is to do with the pace of one's life in these times which starts it all we suppose. Then comes the classic conflict between nature and nurture further adding 'reddie points' to the anger account which is ticking away somewhere accruing interest. Someday something as silly as a traffic snarl or a bad joke or anything really trivial or big; justifiable or unjustifiable will cause this anger to spew out like molten lava from the fissures of your head. Self control, restraint and tranquillity are then mere concepts which lie in a crumpled heap as the angry young man in you takes over and hits out at everything within sight. Since time immemorial, the male temperament has been programmed to hunt, protect and gather. The caveman in most males has not evolved at all! It now wears a suit and goes hunting gathering in his corporate cave. This is the monster in most of us we have to tame through "Anger Management". We might have taken a dig at the caveman being the corporate type, but he could be anyone with an anger issues - you, me, the petrol pump attendant or even Sean Penn and Charlie Sheen. Celebrities often have the luxury of having anger issues and, as we all know it, many a famous anger tantrum is often overlooked as a creative outburst. For us however it could mean a long term in jail and much worse - our days filled with regret! Anger is an emotion and therefore much as I hate to say it necessary to tell us something is not right. So it is nature's way of helping us perceive through our senses and feel anger as a result of that perception, much like happiness and sadness. However anger has a particular corrosive quality about it which if not expressed or acknowledged can wreck havoc on a man's health. Why do you think men outnumber women right from barroom brawls to health conditions like hypertension, heart attack and migraines? Most men when questioned after socking the living daylights out of someone state that they just had that lightheaded feeling as the serpent raised its ugly hood, the blood pressure shot up and adrenalin coursed through the veins, the ears heard that sickening thud of a pacing heart and then "The other guy was down on the ground and I didn't even feel a thing when I sliced his throat open! Honest! I have issues!" Can you imagine how horrifying it must be to lose our faculties and go berserk? Can you imagine how many innocent people are victims of road rage and unjustified violence? So how do you ditch that anger? First step is to find yourself a relaxation routine and deep breathing exercises can help you be more in control of your temper. Relax your muscles of all that tautness which anger makes it do. Consciously at a regular time do this relaxation routine. Feel your body respond by 'letting go' of old holding patterns. Yoga Postures, especially the 'Shavasana' can help tremendously by relaxing excitable natures and enables them to relax the body at will. Next time you feel angry about something you will find yourself responding appropriately. Remember it is you against anger. Tell yourself that anger is like a serpent it might bite its owner. So find a suitable method of letting out your anger, and know that doesn't include steeping down on the accelerator and running into the back of someone's car. That is anger getting the better of you and that's 'Road Rage' and Murder and suicide. Punch a pillow, get a pair of boxing gloves and wallop the hell out of a punching bag, run a mile, shout your head off in a deserted place if you must, but unclench the jaw and fists and maybe you will start seeing the lighter side of things. There are enough things in this world that truly deserve your anger. Without anger sometimes we cannot enforce change on the negative things in society. Whenever we hear of a rape of a helpless woman on a bus we are bound to feel anger. However letting that anger getting the better of us and going in for instant vigilante justice for perceived crimes is just as wrong. Then what sets us apart from people who rape, loot, plunder or murder? If we all exercise restraint and express anger as and when it registers instead of holding it inside would help a great deal. If you are angry about being given the short end of the stick at work and if for some reason you cannot express it then ensure that you don't implode by keeping it in or explode somewhere it is completely unwarranted. There will be a day when we will hear "TV Violins" instead of watching TV Violence.
Handling post retirement bluesYou have given the best years of your life to your career, and now it's time to say goodbye and get ready for the retired life. It is a phase laden with expectations of all things you were too busy to do while working - spending more time with family, going on that fishing expedition, or going on leisure trips around the world. However, despite the wonderful things to come, retirement can get unusually trying and mentally taxing. After all, how many of us really have the flexibility of mind to take this period as a challenge and be the master of our destinies? Just because you are retired doesn't mean you have to wither away and wait for death to claim you. So, here's what you can do to beat the retirement blues Catching up: This is really a bewildering time, as you have a lot of catching up to do, with a lot of things. Prioritize the things you want to do and proceed confidently. You may want to spend time with children, spouse, friends, etc. Go easy on yourself, as you may not be able to fit in as many things in your schedule all at the same time. Boost your self-esteem: Retirement is particularly trying for those who have occupied important positions in office. Such people are known to throw tantrums, as they feel less wanted than before. So don't ever make the mistake of treating your family like you treated subordinates at work. That was a role that you played then, and without reducing your importance or self-esteem you can now play a different role with your family as a friend, philosopher and guide. In fact, you can use your contacts and keep the old network alive by involving youth in your field of expertise and help them benefit from you. Catch up on exercise: The more physically fit you are the less likely that retirement will be a painful process. Perfect time for you to catch up on the fun times with your spouse to remind you of all the great times you have had all these years. If your spouse is not in the best of health then just being together is such a wonderful experience in the golden years. Financial health: Your peace of mind and self-esteem largely depend on how independent you are financially. You can take up a part time job or think of innovative ways to let your hobbies and interests generate money for you. This should be an enjoyable process by which your self-esteem can really benefit. Support groups: There are informal or formal associations of retired people that do various activities like travelling. Make yourself available to them. Sometimes retired people withdraw into a shell and that only makes things worse. These support groups give a fresh perspective on all things in life.
Smell like roses, without the thornsYou bathe regularly and use the best possible deodorants, underarm anti-perspirants, panty perfume but the bad odour just doesn't go away. Pat yourself dry Very often you have a leisurely bath with scented bubbles and what not but when it comes to drying your body thoroughly, well you just pat yourself quickly, for you are in a hurry. The moisture on your body then attracts bacteria with fungi and they cause that embarrassing mouldy kind of stench on your body. So make sure you dab yourself thoroughly dry all over your body. Especially in places like the lower back where it is difficult to reach without some really flexible shoulder joints. Use the archer's swipe (The towel extended between the right hand over the head with  the left hand extended back to form the bottom grip, which looks like an archer reaching for a bow from the quiver). In case you are endowed with love handles and folds of fat then be generous with the patting, as those are the parts most susceptible to host bacteria. Change clothes often If you wear the same set of clothes and lingerie then you are surely going to have an odour which is lingering. So for those ladies who occasionly wear the same set of clothes without washing, the sweat is going to accumulate in there and raise a stink. Remember the Celine Dion song? It's a new day, a new start! Menstruation + Stress = Bad smell There is nothing that you can really do about your periods. Instead, try and be a little more extra careful during those 4 days. You can have an extra jab at the deo bottle or perfume lotion. However stress, nervousness and fear also leave chemical traces which come out along with the sweat. This adds to the bad odour. Humble pie for dessert? What you eat also affects the way you smell. Go easy on the garlic, onion rings and fish for they can make you smell slightly worse than an open sewer. Always rinse your mouth after eating and use a good minty mouthwash if at all you choose to pepper your meal with onion and garlic to ward offthe evil eye. You can add conditions like diabetes to cause a fruity kind of odour. Well in that case make sure you exercise regularly so that the skin sweats out the toxins. In case you are the extra-sweaty types then use medicated soaps or ensure you use steam baths regularly to keep your skin pores open.
Infertility at workplaceSince infertility among the younger age is increasing, it is important that a couple decides an early suitable date to attempt conception. Time and again it has been found that infrequency of intercourse is the cause of delayed pregnancy. It is advisable that the woman has a thorough examination by the gynecologists to identify the ovulation dates and for the man to have a thorough spermatic fluid check.  If both are normal then they could wait for a suitable date later. Should there be a problem the quicker it is attended to better. Also, early in the marriage they should start a fund which could be utilized for matters related to conception. For the male, the main treatment covers his personal sex life and a detailed examination of his spermatic fluid. It is the female who has to undergo many detailed tests and possibly surgeries which are expensive. It is often seen that not only the procedures for both take a toll on their personal and intimate relationship but also severely affect their finances which may come to a point that it does not allow them to complete the treatment as for e.g. the woman undergoing IVF may costs several lakhs of rupees. The treatment of infertility has improved greatly, but interferes severely with the work schedule. Working couples particularly women may have a hard time keeping to their schedules. Depending on their infertility diagnosis, many workplace challenges exist including the need to take time off to undergo tests and other appointments. It is difficult to balance the medical and surgical procedures with daily life and work. This is a difficult issue for many people as they fear their employer may discriminate against them for taking time off from work. Sadly in India there are very few employers who include medical benefits and cost of treatment for infertility. Suggestions have been given on stress dealing with infertility treatment and work. Here are few pitfalls to avoid: Do Your Homework: Review your organization's HR policies so you understand the amount of leave you have and other policies that pertain to your situation. You may be able to arrange for flex time or work from home on the days of your appointments, so that you do not actually miss any work. Be Honest:  Go to supervisor and let her or him know that you will be using your leave time and will give as much notice as possible. Honesty is the best policy. Remember people are inherently curious about the disease of infertility. If you feel the questions are invasive and make you feel uncomfortable, remember you do not have to answer the questions. You can respond nicely and let them know that you appreciate their concern but you are not ready to answer any questions. Your co-workers are asking question because it is human nature to be curious. In conclusion, not everyone needs to know what is happening with your reproductive health. At work place should medical help be available do take advantage of it.  This treatment has nothing to do with your performance at work. Go to work feeling confident that you will be able to perform your job and handle your workload during this time.
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Mood disordersMood disorder is a category of mental health problems, and it includes all types of depression and bipolar disorder. The cause of mood disorder is not well known. Endorphins in brain are responsible for positive moods. The neurotransmitters regulate endorphins. Depression and other mood disorders are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Life events such as unwanted changes in life may also contribute to a depressed mood. Mood disorders are inherited. Children, adolescents, or adults who have a parent with a mood disorder have a greater chance of also having a mood disorder. Symptoms: Prolonged feeling of sadness Helpless feeling Low self-esteem Intense guilt Suicidal thoughts Loss of interest in daily activities Difficulty with relationships Disturbed sleep Change in appetite or weight Low energy Inability in concentrating Inability to make decisions Frequent physical complaints (i.e., headache, stomach ache, fatigue) Threats of running away from home Hypersensitivity to failure or rejection Irritability Aggressive behaviour Hostility In mood disorders, these feelings appear more intense than what a person may normally feel from time to time. Treatment Psychotherapy: It is focused on changing the individual's distorted views of themselves and the environment around them, working through difficult relationships, and identifying stress triggers in their environment and how to avoid them. Family therapy: Families play a vital supportive role in any treatment process. Antidepressant medications: Medications in combination with psychotherapy has shown to be very effective in the treatment of depression.
Be positive. Here's howAs someone so very rightly said, "We are the sum total of our thoughts". So the more positive thoughts you have, or are capable of thinking, the more positive will be the outcome of your life journey. Here are a few tips to think more positively and empower yourself: Have a daily positive thinking routine. Generally the time when you are just waking up, i.e., the half awake state, is best for you to start feeding positive thoughts about yourself. The mind is more accepting of suggestion at that time. You can just feed your brain with happy and positive thoughts about your situation and what you hope to achieve for yourself and your family. Creative positive visualization is another great method of positive thinking. At a set time, just picture your life in the way you want it to go. This is different from daydreaming. Creative visualization gears you up for action while daydreaming remains just wishful thinking. If you have difficulty in certain areas of your life, say at work or with your relationship, visualize a positive outcome. This will engage your mind in thinking of various action plans to get about that positive result. Positive affirmations are a great way of reminding yourself that all is well. Have patience with yourself as your mind will probably not even believe half the things that you are affirming. That's what affirmations are all about.They are statements that you feed your mind about what you are and what you can achieve. Positive affirmations can help you reprogram your mind to what your heart really desires. Let go. Feel that delicious sense of surrender as you just indulge in mentally letting go of things. As a busy person you probably end up trying to control the outcomes of every situation and feel bad when things don't go the way you expect them to. Remember things can go wrong from time to time. Like you, life is also not perfect, so why expect perfection from others? Learn to let go of that emotional baggage that you are carrying. The weight of the world needn't rest on your shoulders. Collective consciousness is where you should try to tap into. Think of situations where things can go horribly wrong for someone else. Send out a silent prayer for those unfortunate people in this world. Chances are that your prayers just might help some stranger badly in need of a prayer or two. This can only come back to you manifold. Help someone else become a positive person. This can only reaffirm your faith in positive thinking. Positive energy is what everyone naturally seeks and we can for sometime blame our friends or family for being a negative influence on our lives. This line of thinking will get you nowhere. Instead think what's the next best option? Think of how you can convert negative energy or experiences into positive ones. Initially you might meet with resistance, but remember if you are positive then positivity is yours for keeps.
5 tips to reduce your salt intakeSalt is an inevitable part of our food, but added salt has harmful effects on the body. The list of benefits in reducing sodium/salt intake in our diet runs long, ranging from lower blood pressure, in turn leading to reduced risks of heart disease, obesity, and diseases of the kidney. The daily sodium intake of an individual should not exceed 1500-2300 mg per day (a table spoon of salt approximately), and this needs to be maintained in the salt added to our food, including the processed food and drinks we buy. Sodium, an indispensable component of our diet, is consumed in excess by most of us. Follow the tips, as mentioned below, to curb your daily salt intake. Avoid added salt. Do not add salt to already cooked food while eating. Keep a diary and make a list of foods with salt in them that you eat daily. Do not forget to add pickles, spices, papads, salted biscuits, and salted nuts. All of these are highly loaded with salt. Next time you go shopping read the labels. Choose low-salt options-sauces, crackers, khakhra, instead of papad. Make an attempt to eat less canned and processed foods. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables over processed food. Eat less bread. Each bread slice has about 250 mg of sodium. Do not mistake bread to be healthy. Next time, keep this in mind when you go out to eat pizza. Pizza base is like bread. While cooking food, make it a point to add salt only towards the end in the recipe. This way you will need to add lesser salt. Sodium content of some foods Bread (one slice) - 250mg Cheese pizza: 450 - 1200mg Tomato soup: 350 - 1000mg Potato chips: 100 - 150mg
Diabetes paves the way to cancer!Diabetes mellitus is common across the world. So common, that people don't take it seriously. It appears relatively benign on a day-to-day basis. It is just a sugar level that you notice on the outward. Controlling diabetes means a change in the lifestyle. It is easy to pop in some pills to battle a disease. The difficulty lies in making long-term changes in our daily routine. We tend to get lazy and make excuses for not being able to follow a discipline in lifestyle. This happens more so with diabetes because we do not see an apparent damage that is being done by the high blood sugar. Unless the levels go really high or drop very low, there are no major symptoms that affect our activities from morning to evening. What we are unaware of is that the disease is making some serious damage insidiously. It affects multiple organs and processes. These effects cannot be directly noticed but are continuously ongoing. By the time we wake up, a lot of injury has already occurred. Here is some more bad news. A large number of scientists in all countries are working day and night to study the course of diabetes and bring new facts to light.  Recent researches have established a new link - cancer. Yes, diabetes increases the risk for breast cancer and colon (intestinal) cancer. A woman who has diabetes, is at 20 times more risk for developing breast cancer. Breast cancer A peculiar association of diabetes and breast cancer has come in the picture in the last few years. Factors contributing to these are many - sedentary lifestyle, overweight, rich food, etc. Another important contributor is hormonal imbalance due to diabetes. As a result of high sugar and high insulin in the body, twofold changes occur in the hormonal cycles which ultimately lead to excess estrogen circulation in blood. This, in turn, may act as a trigger for breast cancer. Breast cancer is relatively easy to diagnose. When detected in early stages, treatment has shown remarkable affects. Colon cancer Cancer of the intestine is one of the most common cancers worldwide. Scientists are still working on finding the exact cause but a clear relationship between diabetes and colon cancer has been proven. Patients suffering from high blood sugar have a higher risk of developing intestinal cancer than those with normal blood sugar. Colon cancer is often seen to be fatal and rate of recurrence is quite high. Worldwide several researches have shown a strong connection between diabetes mellitus and occurrence of breast and colon cancer. Suggestions If you have normal blood sugar levels, please put in your best effort to maintain the same. If you are at risk for diabetes because of significant medical history, take extra care and precaution to prevent or delay the onset of the disease. This can be done by regular and adequate exercise, along with the balanced food options. If you have been diagnosed with diabetes, work on your lifestyle to keep the sugar levels in control. Regular check-ups and frequent monitoring of blood sugar levels are a must. If you are a diabetic, please go for periodical screening of related health conditions. Specific to the topic at hand, please get regular breast examinations. Physician recommended and supervised mammograms and colonoscopies would be extremely helpful. Eyes wide open? Now, will you pay attention to all the restrictions advised by your doctor? Please do. Get that lifestyle which is recommended. Compromise on your work and cravings; focus on exercise and eating healthy. Diabetes is not a killer if managed effectively. Don't let cancer get a hold on you.
Are long hours of work bad for your sex life?As researchers in 'Occupational Health' indicate that working more than 8 hours a day could seriously shorten your life span by inviting all sorts of ailments like heart disease, sleep deprivation, chronic fatigue syndrome among others, it could very well mean sounding the death knell on your love life! So how does work affect play? The stress that goes with long work hours could certainly lower sex drive leading to feelings of frustration and inadequacy amongst partners. 'Erectile dysfunction' and lack of sexual desire are now on the increase amongst men with high pressure jobs and fancy designations. This in turn adds more strain on the relationship as partners naturally feel spurned due to the general lack of intimacy and sex. There is also the added danger of extra marital affairs as hours away from home can increase the chances of one night stands or casual sex thereby increasing the risk of STDs and sexual guilt which can only spell doom on the home front. So if you are a busy person this is what you can do to keep your bed from crumbling: Take a break now and again from work to call your spouse or partner. This can indicate that though you are busy he/she is foremost on your mind. Do not sacrifice your weekly offs as this is the time that your body, mind and spirit need all the healing that they could possibly get at the hands of your mate. Try and involve your mate as much as possible on what is happening at the work place. This way your contribution at your work place can be appreciated and can lessen the grouse, somewhat, like you are never available and similar other complaints. Preferably keep time for making love. These moments of intimacy are really what makes life worth living and should be given as much prominence as your promotions and annual appraisal. Do not miss out on your meals and exercise routine that ensure that despite hectic work pressures, you can still summon up enough energy to make love. Try a relationship counsellor to help you fine tune your work schedule to your home life.  
Challenges faced by homosexual parentsThe major challenge in front of gay parents is to face society and protect their children from social prejudice and discrimination. Gay people can never have their own children, and hence, often opt for adoption. But, how can a couple, who is discriminated against by society, provide a healthy upbringing to a child? However, in some cases, gay parents are known to have capably given their child, all the love and care and the basic amenities that they need, for a wholesome and proper development. Sexual Orientation and Parenting In the American society, same sex parenting is more common than in other parts of the world. Even then, children of gay parents have to face many more challenges than the children with heterosexual parents. The U.S. Census report of 2000 has reported that around 22 percent gay couples and 33 percent lesbian couples have around 18 children living with them. The trend of adoption amongst gay people has been increasing over the years, despite the overwhelming challenges. According to a report published in June 2012 by the American Psychological Association, no scientific evidence has proven that sexual orientation can affect parenting effectiveness. This means that both lesbian as well as gay parents can indeed provide a healthy and supportive environment for raising their children. Major Challenges The major difference lies in the treatment that the children of gay parents get in society. They have to face discrimination and prejudice from schools, their peers and even within their own families. Gay or lesbian parents on the other hand, face the dilemma of how to explain to their children why they have two mothers, or two fathers. Many people in society, even those with strong educational backgrounds, are of the opinion that being gay or lesbian, is an illness due to which, they are incapable of being adequate parents. There is also a misconception that lesbian women tend to be less motherly than heterosexual women. But no scientific basis has been found to support these beliefs. Although the medical community does not consider homosexuality as a psychological disorder, society continues to have a biased outlook towards gay parents. Are Gay Parents Better than Heterosexual Parents? As of today, nothing can prove that gay partners are not as good parents as their heterosexual counterparts. Moreover, it has been found that people of the same sex divide their workload of raising the child, and hence, the childcare process is more smooth and satisfying. Some studies have even noted that lesbian or gay parents have superior parenting skills. But, again no scientific evidence has proven these observations, yet.
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