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Health check up checklist for men Prostate Cancer - Prostate cancer is the lesser known killer in men. It is a slow growing cancer, but at times, its symptoms can be aggressive as well. Detecting prostate cancer at its onset can help in treating it effectively. Tests include a digital rectal exam and a blood test for Prostate Specific Antigens (PSA). Testicular Cancer - This uncommon cancer can affect any male between the ages 21 to 55. A physical exam during yearly medical checkups is recommended for all men. Men having a higher risk, with family history, should speak to their doctors regarding additional tests for screening. Self-examination through regular gentle palpation of the testicles to notice any change in shape or size, presence of lumps is also suggested by doctors. Colorectal Cancer - This is the second most common cancer in men. Men over 50 and younger, if they have a familial risk, are suggested to get a screening colonoscopy done to detect this cancer. It usually starts as a polyp that grows and invades the nearby areas to develop into a full-blown cancer. The polyps, if detected early, can be removed and cancer prevented. A CT scan or a double barium enema can also help in detecting polyps. High Blood Pressure - With the kind of lifestyle men lead today, almost every other man is bound to have BP issues. Regularly checking the BP is essential as it helps detect high BP which may lead to a variety of other problems including stroke and heart attacks. The sooner the detection, the sooner the measures for control. Cholesterol Levels - Bad eating habits, sedentary lifestyle, and mental stress can all lead to lots of cholesterol roaming around in your arteries. This will eventually clog the arteries and cause diseases like high blood pressure and atherosclerosis which can be life-threatening. Get your total cholesterol, LDL, VLDL, HDL, and triglyceride levels checked regularly and initiate timely interventions to bring them under control. HIV - This is the most commonly spreading STD among men. Due to its chronic nature, HIV is often detected accidentally when it may be too late. Regular tests for HIV detection are essential if one is physically active with multiple partners. Be safe though and use a condom. Glaucoma - It is extremely common and is one of the leading causes of blindness. Glaucoma has no cure, but it can be controlled well with timely detection. Screening tests should be undertaken by men under 40 years at an interval of 2 to 3 years after 35. A yearly test is recommended for older men.
Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Menopause and mental health!Menopause is the period in a woman's life when her man claims she is going crazy. It is also the time when her period is on the decline and hormones are in complete disarray. Depression, insomnia, irritability, mood swings and lack of concentration are few symptoms that the lady has to battle with. These symptoms may begin as early as 4 years before the actual menopause and may continue for several years after that! For women, menopause is a significant turning point in their lives. The dropping levels of oestrogen and the resultant physical and mental symptoms can be like a cycle of events, only adding to their woes! Depression: Depression affects every middle-aged woman. An estimated 20% of women have depression at some point during menopause. The peak period for depression is during the perimenopausal years, when the woman is approaching menopause. The reason for this, say experts, is the fact that most women dread menopause. Even though for some it means an end to years of menstrual cramps, for most others it signifies an end to their womanhood. The very idea is sufficient enough to bring on lots of negative thoughts and depression. Not only this, the reason for depression during perimenopausal and menopausal age is the fluctuating hormones. Research shows that the levels of reproductive hormones, specifically oestrogen are responsible for the mental changes. Changes in the sleep pattern: Insomnia is seen in 40 to 50% of women in the menopausal transition phase. Women who spend sleepless nights are more likely than others to show irritability, crankiness, stress and depressive symptoms. Sleep disturbances during menopause have been linked to the decreasing oestrogen levels. Indeed this claim can be held true as several women respond positively to exogenous hormone therapy. One study claims that sleep changes are linked to the Luteinizing Hormone levels, which also results in increased body temperature. Sleep apnea too occurs in the menopausal transition age. This is due to decreased progesterone level, as progesterone plays an important role in respiration. The weight gain that happens during menopause has also been shown to cause sleep apnea. Panic disorder: Panic disorder is commonly seen during the perimenopause stage. Existing disorder may worsen or new disorder may arise. Panic disorder is usually manifested in women who show several physical symptoms of menopause. The panic attacks are usually associated with negative life events, pre-existing medical diseases and decreased daily functionality. Obsessive compulsive disorder: New onset of OCD, worsening of the existing condition or change in the pattern of symptoms is seen during menopause. OCD changes are also observed during pregnancy and during the menstrual changes, suggesting the impact of hormones on symptoms of OCD. Bipolar disorder: Women with bipolar disorder experience an exacerbation of symptoms during the perimenopausal stage. These women are also the ones that are highly likely to experience severe depression in the menopausal phase. Schizophrenia: Schizophrenia usually manifests itself in young adulthood. The rate of new cases decreases gradually thereafter, in both men and women. In women, however, there is a second peak in the 45-50 years age group. This peak is not observed in men. This suggests that oestrogen may play a significant role in triggering schizophrenia or worsening the pre-existing condition.
Importance of breastfeedingBreastfeeding is a natural act and that is why it is also one of the most beneficial acts for a baby. Breastfeeding provides essential nourishment and is the best food for the baby's stomach to digest. No matter how many infant formulas enriched with vitamins and minerals you provide to your baby, it can never replicate mother's milk. As for the mother, there is nothing more joyous than providing your baby with the best start that it can get in the long journey of life. The bond that the mother and the baby share through breastfeeding is one of the most special bonds. For the first six months, breastfeeding your baby is recommended for all mothers whether they are working or at home. Most working mothers are given leave, whether paid or unpaid, so they must ensure they provide their babies with regular breast milk. Breast milk protects the child against diarrhea, respiratory infections, pneumonia, ear infections, and helps to reduce chronic constipation and colic that the babies are prone to. Research also points to the fact that breastfed babies are immunized and protected against allergies, asthma, sudden death, diabetes, and obesity. They remain much healthier than those babies who are formula fed. In India, only 41% mothers begin early breastfeeding even though it has so many benefits. Mothers who exclusively breastfeed their babies help them to survive better. They also gift them with better brain development and these babies are likely to perform well intellectually. No matter which economic section of society the mother comes from, she can provide her baby with the best start in life by breastfeeding it and make sure that the child develops to its full potential. Breastfeeding is natural, simple, and cost-effective way to ensure your baby is healthy and continues to develop healthily. Since the breastfeeding campaign began on a large scale, child mortality has decreased. Immediate breastfeeding within one hour of birth has helped to significantly reduce sudden baby deaths. The colostrum, the first thick yellow breast milk is what protects babies from many diseases as it is filled with goodness. Lack of nutrition or malnutrition is another aspect that leads to infant deaths. Breastfeeding can significantly lower infant deaths from malnutrition as the mother's milk is one of the most nutritious foods provided by nature for the baby's healthy growth. A mother has the full ability to provide adequate nutrition for the baby, therefore breastfeeding needs to be encouraged fully. Employers need to create an appropriate space within their premises and should encourage new mothers to breastfeed their child. Breastfeeding also has a number of benefits for the mother. It helps to burn calories and the mother can return to her former pre-pregnancy state. Breastfeeding helps mothers to reduce their risk of breast, uterine, and ovarian cancer;high blood pressure;diabetes; and heart diseases. So for the first six months, mothers must make sure to breastfeed their baby and do not substitute it with baby food products.
Your bundle of joy comes with bundles of fascinating facts Blue-eyed wonder: Most babies are born blue-eyed. The melanin pigment that decides the color of the eyes is not developed at the time of birth. So the babies are born with blue/light eyes irrespective of the genetic makeup. By the time the baby is 6-7 months old, the pigments start developing and the baby's eye colour changes as per the genetic makeup of the parents. Marked for life: One in every three infant is born with a birthmark! No tears: That is true! New born babies do not shed any tears. The lacrimal duct and the tear glands are well developed but they produce just enough tears for lubrication. Actual tears start appearing after one month of age. Crawling wonders: New research has found that babies can crawl almost as soon as they are born. When left to themselves, they are quite capable of using their limbs and find their way to food i.e. the mother's breast.And we thought that they are tiny helpless creatures! Temperature sensitivity: Babies are much more sensitive to temperature changes and body heat.Though the baby can't throw off the clothes to cool down, it is smart enough to do other things. When the baby is cold, it will move around more and if it is too hot it may just lie still as if sunbathing. Touch therapy: Touch is the most highly developed sensation in babies, even in premature ones. The touch sensation develops from head to toe with the mouth being the most sensitive. No wonder they tend to put everything in their mouths. Short-sighted: Babies are short sighted at birth. Their vision is set to a limit of 8-to-12 inches. They can see people and objects clearly only if they are within this range. Brain size: The brain grows at such a rate in newborns that by the end of the first year,the brain is double the birth size and half its final size! Palmar Grasp: New born babies have a strong grip, as strong as a monkey's. The grip is so strong that if you dangle them on one hand, they can support their own weight. This probably originated from the primitive survival instinct. This strong grasp reduces after a couple of months. Taste buds: Babies have more than 10,000 taste buds situated all over the tongue and even at the roof and sides. As they grow, these extra taste buds disappear.
Dehydration: Prevention and curePlaying outside is great for the child's physical as well mental development. But if your child has spent the entire day outside and comes back with fever, diarrhea, or vomiting, and is sweating a lot, then watch out for the signs of dehydration. What is dehydration? Dehydration means abnormal loss of water from the body, especially from illness or physical exertion. Under normal conditions we all lose some body water through sweat, urine, and tears. Kids lose large amount of water and salt from body during fever, diarrhoea, vomiting, or long hours of physical activity or exercise without any water intake. How do I know it is dehydration? If your child has any of the fever, diarrhoea, vomiting or is sweating a lot on hot days then watch for these signs: Sunken eyes Dry or sticky mouth Dark urine or lack of urine output Tiredness, lethargy, irritability or fatigue How can I prevent dehydration? The best way to prevent dehydration is to ensure the child drinks plenty of fluids when they are sick or physically active. Get your kid in the habit of drinking enough water before he/she even feels thirsty.If it is very hot, explain to the kids the benefits of drinking water frequently. If possible, avoid going out in the sun. Give your kids a well-balanced meal to be sure that they are getting all the adequate nutrients. What if my kid gets dehydrated? If the kid is below 1 year, care should be taken to breast feed the baby often. If the dehydration is due to vomiting, feed small amounts frequently for it to absorb in between the vomiting episodes. Give a spoonful of ORS solution every 10 minutes to replace the lost fluids. For kids above 1 year, start with plain water initially when the kid complains of thirst. Later the kids may need drinks containing sugar and electrolytes. Also, the child should be made to rest at home in a cool environment until the lost fluid has been replaced. Once the child is rehydrated, resume to normal routine and diet.
Dealing with obsessive thinking and worriesAn old adage goes - 'Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere'. This is absolutely true for many of us who have developed the habit of worrying unnecessarily over outcomes and circumstances. Thinking about things and over our course of action is a good thing because you should always think twice before acting. What about obsessive thinking? Is it good for you? Anything in extremity is a bad thing, whether it is your favorite food or your thoughts. Worrying incessantly is a part of obsessive thinking where you cannot let go of negative thoughts and they circulate in your mind continuously. Obsessive thinking is a negative infinite loop, a broken record that is stuck without having anyone to click the stop button. So how should you deal with this obsessive thinking that is sure to spell your doom in the long run? Though psychologists have devised various scientific methods of overcoming obsessive thoughts and worries, here we have listed down some easy to follow rituals that will help you deal with such worries and thoughts. Meditation - Yoga swears by the art of meditation as it is thought to release all negative energy from the mind and soul. Concentrating on your breathing and also absorbing a positive source of energy is the essence of meditation. So whenever you are obsessed about something, sit down, calm your nerves and meditate. Physical activity - Exercising always helps. Engage in physical activity which increases the body's metabolism and requires effort. Indulge in those dance lessons or swimming or maybe cycling and you will divert your mind from those negative thoughts. Indulge in your hobbies - So you thought you don't have time for your hobbies, but your hobbies relax your mind and body. Moreover, a hobby also takes out the creative side in you. So, whether you like to collect coins or stamps, or lean towards arts and crafts, a hobby is sure to occupy your mind and take you away from worries. Socialize - Friends and relatives are your lifeline as they help you in those tough situations. Even if you are mentally not at peace, making social calls on your friends and relatives will take the edge off.  Try to meet people who can empathize with you and help you move out of it. Socializing will give you that much needed break from the vicious cycle of your thoughts. Though a short-term relief, going out for movies or taking a weekend getaway with your near and dear ones or even indulging your wife in shopping, can be helpful. Confide - Talking to someone close who understands you helps you in expressing your troubles. Thinking obsessively, you usually tend to ignore your feelings and emotions. Your mind remains trapped in the net of those obsessive thoughts and your emotional well-being takes a backseat. When you talk to another person, he or she will hear you out and help you relieve the stress that is on your mind. They would understand your state of well-being and support you emotionally. Be mindful - You may find it easy to go back into the same negative thought process. Don't let your mind chatter. Stop your mind by standing up for yourself. Stand in front of the mirror and say, "I am not a victim. I have the power and strength to move ahead" Do this whenever you become aware that you are going back into the same thought process.  This will give you the mental strength needed to come out of it.  Be mindful and aware but don't be too harsh on yourself. Be responsible -Your mind can make you or break you. If you understand this truth you will find it easier to manage your thoughts. Take responsibility of your thoughts good or bad.  The mind can create thoughts to project blame or judgments about others.  When you own your thoughts, you will find it easier to shape them the way you want. Create a higher vision of your life - When you keep a higher vision in your life, you can move ahead easily.  By developing a higher vision, you are asking yourself, who am I?and finally working towards it. You take positive actions and thus there would be more gratitude for what you have and less resentment for things that do not work.   This stops your mind from working unnecessarily. Obsessive worrying is a psychological disorder which in extreme cases has to be dealt with pathologically. Do not let your condition to reach the extreme end of the spectrum. Follow the above mentioned suggestions and try to deal with those thoughts yourself. It may take some time but rest assure, it will be effective in the long run.
High heels can walk you to the hospital bedHigh heels make a fashion statement which makes us look tall, elegant and good but they cause injuries on a regular basis. High heel shoes have been luxury item once upon a time; today high heels have made themselves a part of every girl's life thanks to supermodels and stars. You will not find any health warning on shoes but they ought to, as they seriously put you at a high risk of numerous health problems. How are high heels and low back painrelated? High heels significantly affect your natural posture and your spine. The natural arch of spine becomes acute when walking in high heels. This poses high risk to the spine getting injured. This not only wears  and tears intervertebral cushions called discs but cause injury to the nerves too.  High heels put strain on muscles of lower back causing pain after a long day of wearing high heels. Nerve trapping, nerve pain and radiculopathy can result from wearing high heels for a long period. This is exhibited     as tingling, numbnessand pain. Arthritis, nerve pain, hammer toes, ingrown toenails and bunions are all common problems due to high heels. Calf muscle shortens and tightens after prolonged use. Jogging, playing, running with high-heeled shoes can tear and rupture calf muscles. What can you do to prevent damage? Firstly ensure your body is in top shape before you start. There is a much less chance of developing low back pain if you are strong and fit. So do activities like swimming, pilates, circuit class, box-exercise and whatever else thatmakes you feel good. Focus on activities that make the abdominal area strong includingyour deep core muscles. Secondly a regular regime of stretching will prevent a lot of problems occurring. Either get involved in a yoga class or make sure you do 10-15 minutes of stretching every day. Stretch your back, your calves and hamstrings especially. Thirdly get sports massage at leastonce-a-month. This will loosen the tightened structures, realign the spine and lengthen the hamstrings, calves and Achillestendon
4 super foods to keep you healthy this winterWinter is here. It is time for lazy mornings and blanket hideouts. It is also the time when the markets are lined up with a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, all juicy, healthy and colorful. Discover four such super foods for the cold winter evenings. Citrus fruits: Oranges, sweet lime, lemons; bring them all and have them all. Bright yellow or orange, they are like the bright sunny mornings which you need after a cold night. Rich in vitamin C, antioxidants, flavonoids and several other nutrients, citrus fruits are the perfect measure for your daily dose. Peel it off and chew it up, or slice it off and lick it on, or squeeze it strong and drink it down - choose the way you like. Citrus fruits help in taking care of your cholesterol, as well. Potatoes: Potatoes are the victims of most diet plans. It is loaded with carbohydrates, we should not eat potato, and so on and so forth. Potato is not that bad actually. In fact, its nutritional value may come as a surprise to many. The content of vitamins B6, C and folate is high in potatoes. Potatoes are rich in essential minerals like potassium, zinc and magnesium. The starch content may be significant, but so is the fiber content. They are known to protect against colon cancer. What are you waiting for? Have some potatoes, will you? Make sure there is no guilt. Kidney Beans: Kidney bean is our favorite Indian 'Rajma'. They are a rich source of carbohydrates and proteins, are known to lower the cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of heart disease. They are particularly known for helping to replenish the iron stores of your body. It can be the food of choice even if you have diabetes, as it is almost fat-free and doesn't send a sudden rush of glucose in the blood. When combined with rice, kidney beans make a very healthy meal. So, is it rajma-chawal (kidney beans with rice) for dinner today? Green leaves: Yes, yes, you are bored of reading and listening to the benefits of green leafy vegetables. But, we have to remind you, for the advantages are too many to be ignored. They are the greenest, freshest and leafiest in the winters. Even if you are not a fan, you will feel like picking up a bunch from the grocery store. Spinach (palak), fenugreek (methi), cabbage (gobhi) are the ones that we can commonly find. Others to look for are lettuce, mustard greens, etc. The green leaves are a rich source of a variety of vitamins, mineral, fiber and water content. They are suitable for all ages and can be easily digested. Entertain that potato lying in your kitchen, cook up a dish with the green leafy ones. Alternatively, you could try it in the form of salads, soups, juices, flour fillings, and any other creative ideas that you chefs have.  
Common causes of allergic reactionsAllergic reactions, most of the times, do not warrant immediate medical attention. But never ignore or take any allergic reaction lightly! Allergic reactions include itching or a puffy face or swollen red blotches all over your body or a fit of sneezing.  If we know what allergies have, we can avoid the triggers. So, here is a list Soaps and detergents: Are your palms are all rough and peeling off in patches and it doesn't seem to go away? Time to do a check on the dish-washing soaps and the detergents you may be using. Most of the brands contain harsh chemicals that burn while you use them. Medically known as Contact Allergic Dermatitis, this is one of the most common allergic reactions. Artificial Jewellery: Even the best looking jewellery can, at times, trigger allergic reactions. Another common type of Contact Allergic Dermatitis, this happens when you wear artificial jewellery. Most of the jewellery of this variety contains Nickel which is the main cause for this type of allergic reaction. Clothes: Clothes can be a cause for allergic reaction. While synthetic fibres like nylon and polyester are common factors, at times, the chemicals used in the dyeing can also be a reason for allergy. Add to it the perspiration and the constant friction between the skin and the clothes, and you have a severe allergic reaction guaranteed! Latex: Latex is also a very common cause for allergy. Commonly found in condoms, gloves and certain medical devices, allergy to latex can range from minor itching and redness, to a serious life-threatening anaphylactic reaction. Milk and milk products: The symptoms for this source of allergy include loose motions and stomach, among other things. Medically called as Lactose intolerance, it occurs in people who do not have the necessary enzymes in their bodies to digest milk and milk products. Food allergies: Peanuts, brinjal, fish etc can also trigger allergic reactions. Food reactions are specific to individuals. One may suffer from an allergic reaction to almost any kind of foodstuff. Beauty products: From shampoos and creams to nail paints and lipsticks, every cosmetic you use is a potential allergic trigger. Molds: These are microscopic fungi found in damp and moist places.. Allergic reactions to molds are pretty common and seasonal. Cockroach: The proteins secreted by the glands and the saliva of the cockroach can be allergic to humans. Sneezing, itchy and watery eyes are common symptoms. Insects: Insect stings can lead to burning and stinging pain with redness and a slight swelling around the bite/sting area. In some people though, insect bite/sting proves to be life threatening. Symptoms as severe as difficult breathing, rapid pulse, severe drop in blood pressure and swelling of face and throat may occur!
Pulling out - Is it an effective option for contraception?What is the 'Pulling out' method? 'Pulling out', 'Withdrawal' and 'Coitus Interruptus' are all the different names for probably one of the safest methods of contraception. It involves the male partner withdrawing or pulling out his penis just before ejaculation. This ensures that no semen has been ejaculated into the vagina or vulva of the female partner. Since there are no sperms travelling inside, the result is - No Pregnancy! Is this method really effective? Like all methods of contraception, the effectiveness of the pulling out method also depends on how correctly it is done. This method requires a lot of mutual understanding between the partners. The male partner must also exercise great self-control and accuracy in knowing when he will reach the highest point of sexual excitement so he can pull out at the right moment. Statistics have the following things to say Of women whose partners use withdrawal, 4% become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly, and 27% become pregnant each year if they don't always do it correctly. Ejaculating close to the vagina or vulva would mean that the sperms still have a way to travel inside the vagina. At times the pre-ejaculate fluid may also contain a few sperms from the previous ejaculation that may end up causing pregnancy. As a precaution against this, experts suggest the male partner pass urine before the sexual act. Withdrawal method of contraception is the best option for members of religious groups in which using contraceptive devices like pills, condoms or IUDs are a form of sin. Withdrawal method does not protect you from HIV/AIDS and other STDs. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this method? Advantages It is simple, safe and convenient. It is the best method when no other contraceptive method is available. It has no side-effects It does not require a medical prescription. It does not alter the menstrual cycle. It does not affect future fertility. Disadvantages Requires great self-control, experience and trust. Not suitable for men who suffer from premature ejaculation Not suitable for teenagers and sexually inexperienced people. Does not ensure protection from sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS. Less effective than other methods of birth control. May interfere with sexual pleasure due to nervousness and anticipation of pulling out at the right time. The pull out method is thus one of the safest methods of contraception, provided one has a thorough understanding of one's body, trust in the partner and a huge amount of self-control.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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