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Caught in the snore snare....A real nightmare!Snoring is caused due to obstructed air movement during breathing while sleeping. It may suggest an underlying medical problem like obstructive sleep apnea. Studies have also revealed a correlation between snoring and risk of heart attack. There are different reasons for snoring and to find out the exact reason and the right solution is important. Snoring affects the quality of sleep can cause irritability and fatigue. Snoring causes poor quality of sleep, irritability, lack of concentration the day after the deed. Snoring is a tad like fingerprints , no two sets are the same and so it is with snoring, There are different rhythms or snoring patterns and even the reasons for snoring vary. Snoring or that irritating sound which people make through their mouths and nose while asleep happens because of narrow airways failure of air to pass through the respiratory system easily. The air vibrates against the obstruction in airway causing the sound of snoring. The air is unable to escape normally through the airways and hence it causes that grating sound with each inhale and exhale. Yes that sound which makes you wish you could smother the fella with a pillow. We say fella because men are more prone to it than women. Snoring can happen due to various reasons: Habits: Those who smoke and drink regularly are likely to have a more relaxed set of jaw muscles causing them to snore readily and loudly. Weight: People with excess weight and poor muscle tone are likely to snore more. Age: The wide open mouthed gape kind of snoring usually happens in old people as the breathing muscles lose their tone somewhat. Posture: General posture and sleep posture in particular can affect snoring patterns. Especially, sleeping with the back flat against the bed constricts free exhalation. How to put a clamp on your snoring? If you have a snoring problem evaluate how serious it is and then take the necessary elimination strategies. Understand that your snoring can cause sleepless nights to your partners, family or whoever is within ear shot so instead of going in for fancy anti-snore devices which don't do a thing to help If this is a recent habit then consult your doctor and have him re-evaluate any medications that might be responsible. Try and establish a regular sleep time and ensure that you follow it to the T. Exercise to lose weight as losing flab around the throat can lead to better sleep. Ask a partner to awaken you if you snore too loudly as regular jabs in the gut can help train the mind to behave. Blow your nose out before bed time as clear air passages is what you need. Any nasal constriction or chest congestion is really what gets you started. Sleeping on your side is a better option than sleeping on your back. Before hitting the sack try and hum a few bars of the blues as singing can help tone the vocal cords and they are less likely to go into vibrate mode. According to help-guide.org there is a rather quaint method to cure snoring and that is to play on a certain musical instrument called the 'Didgeridoo' which is supposed to strengthen the soft palate and throat muscles. If you have no Australian connections then don't despair as rolling your tongue out from all sides before sleep can work just as effectively.
Preparing for fatherhoodFrom the time you decide to go for a baby, all the attention is concentrated on the mother-to-be. And this is not without reason, since she is the one that's going to bear the child for the next nine months. But that doesn't mean that the man's role is any less important. It is important for the father-to-be to ready himself for the next phase of his life. Following a healthy lifestyle Fertility is a growing problem. As per statistics more than 45% of infertility issues are related to men. Therefore, eating healthy food, exercising and living the healthy way will boost your chances of getting over these problems. Nutrition has an impact on the sperm production. So scrap the junk food for a while and get on to a healthy lifestyle. Men need to get at least 12 to 15 mg of zinc each day. Even short-term zinc deficiencies can reduce semen volume and testosterone levels, much needed for healthy sperms. Good sources of zinc include baked beans (a one-cup serving has 3.55 mg), nuts, cereals, seafood, and chicken meat (2.38 mg per three ounces). Regular intake of vitamins and calcium is a must to improve male fertility and prevent sperm defects. Natural sources of calcium such as fat-free milk and curd can be consumed. Get atleast 90mg of vitamin C daily. This boosts immunity. More will be needed if you smoke. Folic acid is a fuel for healthy sperms. Dads need 400 micrograms of it and green leafy vegetables are good sources of this nutrient. Dads-to-be can take the liberty to grab the extra cup of mocha. Caffeine may help men by stimulating sperm motility. Quit smoking and drinking The party's over for your partner once you start trying for a baby, but what about you? Same goes for men. Now is the time to stop smoking, and to stop any excessive consumption of alcohol. A man who smokes has a lower sperm count and a misshapen sperm, incapable of creating a child. Heavy or binge drinking can seriously affect ability to produce quality sperm. Exercise Add exercise session to your daily routine if you aren't doing them already. Exercise improves general health, stamina, and sperm quality. Start with walking for 15 minutes and increase it gradually if you have never exercised before. If you are trying for a baby, avoid exercising in tight-fitting briefs. It causes damage to sperms. Frequent sessions in a sauna or hot tub, long bicycle rides, or any such activity that could cause the testicles to become overheated can compromise the health of sperm and should be avoided. Medical examinations It is a good idea for the father-to-be to have a complete check-up to assess if there are any issues that need to be addressed before trying for a baby. Some conditions to watch out for include: Varicocele, a condition of varicose veins on the scrotum, the sac of skin that contains the testicles. It can lead to infertility. The condition is entirely treatable, so talk to your doctor about the options. Conditions like erectile dysfunction, diabetes, and prostatitis can cause infertility. Sexually transmitted infections, which may cause male infertility. Your doctor can help you get tested and treated. Your doctor can refer you to urologist or a male fertility specialist if you need additional testing or treatments. Remember to discuss possible hereditary birth defects with your doctor. Share with her the medical history of yours and your wife's family. Get finances organized Plan a baby budget. You surely want to give the best to your child. Start planning now. Consider expenses like baby food, diapers, toys, doctor visits, clothes, and day care. This will help you in the future. And this is the perfect time as you are just in the planning phase of baby making. Take advantage of this time before the baby arrives to get things in order concerning your job, insurance and budget plan. If you and your spouse discuss and agree on expectations, goals and strategies now, you can avoid arguments on money later. After all, you don't want baby to pick up on any tension. Dump your stress Chilling out can increase your potency. So the 'go for a holiday' advice actually works. Practise regular meditation or any exercise that will help bring down your stress levels. Try reading books on fatherhood or parenting and learn tips and advices well in advance. So gear up and start preparing for the change from being the coolest dude to the coolest dad.It is your responsibility to help your partner in all possible ways and make her feel that you are equally excited and keen for having a baby.
Pamper the newborn without forgetting yourselfIf you are a new mom, chances are you are busy 24/7. The baby's complete dependence on you helps you bond with him/her and makes you aware of the responsibility that is now on you. But, your own health is an equally important responsibility. So, you need to give yourself permission to take care, or even pamper yourself from time to time. Here are simple ways for you to look out for yourself. Eat your favorite breakfast: As your day starts, you need fuel to keep your energy levels high. So, grab your hands on healthy and tasty breakfast options like whole grain cereal, skim milk and sliced strawberries or a banana. The combination of lean protein, whole-grain foods, and nutrient-rich fruit allows the brain to form more feel-good chemicals. Don't let stress come near you: We know that a lot of changes in your life have transpired, due to the entry of a baby in your world. The difficulty to cope with the changes may cause stress and depression. Try to avoid stress by asking for your husband's and relatives' support. Take a walk with your baby: Walking with your baby in nearby parks will give you fresh air and it is an excellent form of exercise. Don't be sleep deprived: Having a baby doesn't mean that you have to always sacrifice your sleep. Never miss an opportunity to sleep or take rest. This will keep your energy levels high for the day. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Delegate baby care: Parenting is not your sole responsibility. Ask your husband to lend a hand in taking care of the baby for some time. Not just the husband, if you live in a joint family, you can ask other relatives for help as well. Don't be a multi-tasking person: We know a woman has so many roles to play. But, it doesn't always have to be that way. Being a new mom, you must focus on one activity at a time. You can prioritize your tasks, if you have a lot of things to do. Exercise regularly: Add exercise to your daily routine. Choose the exercise which you love and enjoy, like walking, cycling, yoga, swimming or aerobic dance. Consult a doctor before starting any exercise program.    
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Healing yourself after a broken relationshipThere is no singular formula to get over a relationship. Moreover, you cannot 'get over' a relationship like you get over a broken phone. Every relationship is like a grown tree. When it breaks, you have to let it molder into the Earth - the time period between the breaking of the relationship and your comeback as 'you' is the time for transformation - this is your time to understand yourself, your relationship with others, and reach out to the world. Did you know the over 50% of people undergoing breakup tend to resort to emotional eating to rescue themselves from sadness and rush in the comfort hormones? Keep an eye on what you eat to trace the emotional signs you are disguising. Keep a tab on your diet and pamper your body with care. Here are seven basic stages through which you can consciously walk to recover through your broken relationship. Such a process is not linear and you could be undergoing various stages at the same time or in a different order. However, make sure you go through each stage. Missing any stage could result in residual and subconscious anger or denial. Stage 1: Let it outDon't be afraid to accept that you are heartbroken, that you feel like a mess and just wish that your ex-partner was around again. Accepting your emotional state is the first step to being able to unravel yourself out of it. Stage 2: Pondering over the causeThe initial stage post-breakup is primarily spent trying to distract oneself from the absence of the ex-partner by busying oneself with other activities. However, the nagging question 'why did our relationship not work? why did it have to be this way?' lingers, ready to barge in at the very instance you have your moment of peace. The first thing to understand during a breakup is that there is a distinction between analysing and understanding on one hand and obsessing on the other. Try to go through the stages in your relationship which you intuitively trace as being of significance to the break-up. However, remember not to be biased towards yourself and to weigh your responsibility towards the breakup as much as you do your ex-partner's. Stage 3: Taking a hard look at the relationship and learningYou might have had other relationships before where you did not feel the kind of intimacy you felt with this particular person. However, if you feel that you are up to a large part responsible for the break up, then look for the pattern of behavior or thinking which was causing such a breakup. Taking a hard look at your relationship will help you to recognize your mistakes and learn readying yourself to become a more sensitive person with greater understanding of human emotions. Stage 4: Reaching out to the WorldWhile you are working yourself through reasons for breakup and your role in it, don't step back from reaching out to people. Communication is the basic balm that will heal the wound of a broken relationship. Your inner communication with yourself is one dimension of it while talking things out with your friends and close ones is another important dimension. During a conversation about the breakup, don't simply blame your ex-partner completely to blind yourself towards healing. Be honest to yourself and attempt to talk to those friends who can help you through the hard time with care. If you love animals and nature, then reach out to the wild. Take time off from your usual routine and follow your interests. Stage 5: The Bigger Picture of the Break-up Having pondered over the reasons particular to your past relationship, understand that the fundamental reason for any relationship to break up is that the two people involved in it have different ways of looking at the world. Remember that differences do not imply a hierarchy. Differences are essential to human nature. This will help you to forgive your ex-partner, catalysing your redemption from the land of anger and despair. The world is a beautiful place full of diverse kinds of people. Do not let your breakup make you give up on humanity. Stage 6: Letting yourself freeNow is the time to have a relationship with yourself. Explore your interests and dip yourself in them. It is not a crime to be happy with yourself. However, do not use these activities to escape the pain. Let your activities be your company in pain - slowly the pain will fade and you will reconcile with the reality of your broken relationship. Join hobbies which will help you have some time for yourself: pottery, nature watching, animal care, voluntary work. Remember that your identity does not depend on the opinion of your ex-partner: you create who you are. Most importantly, take care of your body - we tend to mess up our body cycles during a breakup. Stage 7: Giving yourself time to become complete before starting off with another relationshipDo not rush into a relationship before you have completely healed from the past relationship. There is a high tendency to try to fill the gap of the absence by moving onto the next most intimate person you know. Give yourself time to recover and answer the following questions before entering into a relationship again: What kind of relationship do you want to have? How would you like to spend your day with her/him? (Remember that a whole day is a series of small activities that you will share with your love - don't focus just on the big stuff like finance, house, and others, emphasis on shared interests). What future do you expect from a relationship? These are the three basic questions. Be free to add on the relevant questions according to your needs and answer them honestly before writing a new chapter into your life. Having pondered over the reasons particular to your past relationship, understand that the fundamental reason for any relationship to break up is that the two people involved in it have different ways of looking at the world. Remember that differences do not imply a hierarchy. Differences are essential to human nature. This will help you to forgive your ex-partner, catalyzing your redemption from the land of anger and despair.
Not very chummy! Menophobia - The fear of periodsMenstruation or periods begin as female reaches puberty. This is the time when there are hormonal changes which occur in the body as nature takes the girl and makes her ready for womanhood. The onset of periods can be distressful with lots of mood swings accompanied by abdominal cramps, bloated feet as the menstrual blood flows. This is also a time when the girl needs to be comforted and educated the most, as it can be truly a terrifying experience. Normally mothers or elder women in the family ensure that they take complete care of the girl in this transition phase. For some women, their initial experience with periods may not have been particularly pleasant, causing them to actually dread those 4 days and this fear can then take the shape of a full blown phobia -Menophobia! The reason could vary. For some the pain factor could be the reason for menophobia, while for others, it could be the memory of embarrassing red stains on the clothes which could set it off. In menophobia, just before the onset of the periods, the person starts getting anticipatory anxiety and the pain which could be normal period pain, is then imagined to be ten times worse. This brings on panic attacks and feeling of utter dread which while is entirely psychological can be utterly distressful and downright crippling. Counseling can help greatly along with pain medication to manage the pain and the fear of this natural phenomenon called periods. In therapy, this is what is iterated. That menstruation is a completely natural process and if there is a fear of menstrual blood then gradually, the woman is encouraged to accept it as a natural body function which plays a major part of her being a woman.
Top 10 tips for weight maintenanceTIP 1: Stay Calm and PlanDon't worry about your weight excessively. This will only result in stress which can be counter-productive to your pursuit. Remember that you have reached the goal you had to and you are strong enough to sustain it. Take one day at a time. Do not think about how you are going to keep it forever. Just focus on the next day. TIP 2: Health JournalKeep a journal where you note down your eating and exercising patterns. Write down what you eat, plan your meals, drink adequate water, and form an exercise regime. Did you know that you can include an activity within your life as a habit by performing it for 21 days? Do these things not because you have to but because they are good for your health. Slowly, they will become a part of who you are. TIP 3: Being Healthy Is A Lifetime DealOne of the greatest mistakes that people do is to think that once they have lost weight, they can return to their early eating habits. Remember that your health is with you for life. Shift your perspective from 'I have to become thin' to 'I have to be healthy.' Once you do this, you will find it easier to stay healthy for the well-being of your body. TIP 4: Be RealisticWhen you are planning your lifestyle, don't take up unrealistic goals. This is one of the reasons why weight-trainers say that the best way to reduce and sustain right weight is to make it 'your life.' Eat right, sleep well, and drink lots of water. These three, if done properly, can help you to have the right body weight. If you have any rules like 'don't eat cake or pastries ever,' 'quit drinking,' then rethink about them. Are you going to be able to never eat sweets? The primary goal is to make a balance, choose the middle path. TIP 5: Get An Idea Of Your Weight-PatternMany people stop weighing their body once they have reached the ideal weight. They think that the scales are only for the fat ones. A person with such a perspective is only looking for slim bodies and not healthy ones. Remember that your weight is not a judgment of your appearance, but a barometer of your health. So do not stop doing the weekly weight checks. Keep a report of your weight every week and check out the causes for any abnormal changes. TIP 6: Accept Your Limitations And Learn From ThemEveryone has their ups and downs. Don't get discouraged and be angry at yourself if you binged on a donut on a cloudy day. Everyone makes mistakes. It is not the end of your weight maintenance. It is simply a blip. Learn from it. Know what the causes are for it and work on making sure you react to the cause differently next time. TIP 7: Thirst And HungerYour body could confuse your thirst for hunger. So, if you are feeling hungry really soon after your previous meal, then start by drinking a glass of water and check if you feel better. If you do not, then it is time for a light healthy snack. TIP 8: Inspire YourselfWeight maintenance is primarily a psychological task. Till the time you were reaching the ideal weight, you learn everything you had to about being healthy. Now, you have to make sure you don't let obstructions stop you from sustaining this healthy lifestyle. So, join other people who are only in the process of maintaining their weight. Become part of the running blub or catch up with a health conscious friend regularly. TIP 9: Mind Over MatterBalance your eating patterns. If you think that you will be going out for lunch, then have a healthy breakfast and cut down on the dinner. You might be craving for a dessert, so you can have salad for the main course and treat your sweet tooth. Talk to yourself about what you are going to eat. Ask yourself if you really want to eat it because you are hungry or are there any other reasons for it. How would you feel about it after you are done eating? TIP 10: Celebrate Your AchievementsLastly, be proud of your weight maintenance program. Celebrate the fact that you worked hard towards making sure you have a healthy body and invite people who were part of your pursuit. Embrace your body and toast to the next year of a healthy lifestyle.
A fine spine - Common disorders of the spineThe spine is made up of small bones called vertebrae that are stacked one upon the other. When viewed from the side, the normal spine has gentle curves to it. Because the spine is a complex structure and happens to be at the center of all our activities, it is subjected to a lot of diseases. A common misconception of low backache is that you should rest. In fact, rest is not recommended at all. Keep up with light non-strenuous activities after the symptoms have subsided. Given here are a few common conditions of the spine: Loss of curvature: The spine, when seen sideways has gentle curves to it. The curves, when lost, can lead to pain and imperfect posture. Kyphosis and Scoliosis are the commonest form of spine curvature abnormalities.Kyphosis is the abnormal and excessive curving of the upper part of the spine. It is commonly called as a hump. It may be present since birth or may develop during the teenage years. The most common symptoms seen are a hump, back pain and muscle stiffness. The pain remains constant and does not worsen over time. If the curvature is too much, then the thoracic cage may get compressed and pressed for space. This may cause cardio-thoracic problems like chest pain, shortness of breath and even death. Compression of spinal nerves may cause loss of bladder and bowel control, loss of sensation and muscle weakness. Kyphosis is treated with physiotherapy, anti-inflammatory drugs and in severe cases, with bracing.Scoliosis is the side-to-side curvature that occurs during growth spurts before puberty. It may also be caused by spinal cord injuries and arthritis. Scoliosis develops gradually. The symptoms seen are usually by people other than the patient, where they may notice a slight slouch while walking. At times it may be seen that clothes that used to fit earlier are now ill-fitting. The pants seem to have shortened on one side. The curvature if mild responds well to physiotherapy. Physiotherapy is also useful as it helps to stretch and strengthen the muscles. This helps in stopping the progression of curvature. Severe cases require bracing and even surgical intervention with rods, hooks, wires and screws to correct the curvature. Sciatica: Sciatica is a condition that arises when the sciatic nerve is pressed upon. This condition arises when a degenerated vertebra presses upon the disc below it, or when there is a disc prolapse.  Abnormally tight piriformis muscle of the buttocks and a tumor in the spine may also cause sciatic pain. The hallmark symptom is the characteristic pain along the leg that starts from the hip and radiates all the way down. The pain is worsened by sitting and tingling numbness also develops. Treatment includes anti-inflammatory medicines and physiotherapy. Spondylolisthesis: When the spine is subjected to the pressures of daily activity, there is a lot of wear and tear that goes on in the vertebrae. This may cause the vertebra to move forward and slide on the vertebra below it. As a result, you may experience a constant backache. Spondylolisthesis can be congenital, it may occur due to trauma to the vertebral column, due to a tumor in the vertebra or due to degenerative changes in the vertebra and cartilage as a result of diseases like arthritis. Low backache is the hallmark of this disease. The pain is typically worse after any exercise that involves the lower back. The motions of low back are restricted and if there is nerve compression then tingling and numbness along the leg may also be seen.Rest and avoiding exertion of back muscles helps reduce the symptoms. Physiotherapy helps in restoring the strength and improving the range of motions. Spinal Stenosis: Degenerative diseases like osteoarthritis cause development of bone spurs in the vertebral column leading to its narrowing. This puts pressure on the nerves and leads to pain and tingling and numbness. Cervical Spondylosis: This condition occurs due to degenerative changes in the vertebrae of the neck region. Commonly seen as neck stiffness with pain that radiates all the way down the arm.  The pain occurs as the nerves get compressed by disc prolapse or bone outgrowths in the vertebra. Treatment includes neck immobilization, cervical traction, medications for pain and physiotherapy. Ways to reduce spine problems and backache are: Quit smoking Adopt a perfect posture Do exercises that will strengthen your core, lower back muscles and abs. Do not ignore or overlook the pains. Consult your doctor at the earliest. Spinal problems are the ones that are frequently overlooked. Ignoring the symptoms may lead to worsening of the problem. See your doctor at the earliest to be safe. The spine is the backbone of our body, in the true sense of the word. It is up to us to keep our spine in good condition as an unhealthy spine will interfere with almost all our body functions.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!Small mistakes that we keep committing become, over a period of time, serious health problems that are potentially life threatening. Given here is a list of the 10 most common mistakes that we make when it comes to heart health. Ignoring the health check-up: Your last reports said you were fit as a fiddle. So you haven't gone for a check-up since then? Our health becomes the first thing we sideline in today's fast-paced lives. Most of the heart diseases do not show any signs and symptoms in the early stages and when the signs and symptoms come up, too much of damage has already been done. So it becomes very essential to go for regular health check ups. If you are in your twenties it would be advised to get your cholesterol checked every 5 years, blood glucose every 2 years. Beyond 45 years though the frequency of health, check-ups should increase. Body Mass Index is something that you should get checked every time you visit your doctor. Skipping breakfast: Breakfast is the most important part of what you eat the whole day. Most of us tend to skip breakfast due to lack of time, fear of weight gain. But starting your day without breakfast is like driving on reserve fuel. You will start fine, but end up feeling dull and sluggish towards the end of the day. Skipping breakfast has been associated with development of diabetes mellitus and obesity. These two have a strong co-morbidity with cardiovascular diseases. No wonder then it is said, breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. Too much of sun-blocking: We are people obsessed with fairness and it is understandable that one wouldn't want to get tanned by going out in the sun. Some amount of sunlight exposure is very vital for health. Vitamin D is synthesized by the body from cholesterol with the help of sun rays. Recent studies reveal that people with little or no exposure to sunlight tend to develop arterial plaques that end up in heart attacks, high blood pressure or strokes! Going for the fizz : Aerated drinks are loaded with triglycerides that are a part of the bad cholesterol. They thicken the blood and it becomes difficult for it to flow through the arteries. This leads to several complications. Not watching what you eat: Often we are so caught up in our work that we just grab a quick bite to eat without paying heed to what actually we are eating. Fast foods are extremely unhealthy and wreck havoc onour systems. Missing fruits and fibres: Fibrous food are extremely heart friendly. The fibres help in pushing out the cholesterol out of the body. Beans, oats and barley are all extremely fibre-rich. Fruits are a rich source of vitamins and minerals. They contain potassium that is extremely essential to neutralize the effects of sodium. By doing this they help in regulating the blood pressure. Citrus fruits too have a high amount of potassium in them. Avoiding walking: Walking is the simplest form of exercise the body can get. 10 minutes of brisk walking is extremely helpful for the heart to keep functioning efficiently. Not sleeping well: The body needs 6 to 8 hours of undisturbed sleep for it to reboot and get back its full functioning capacity.  A sound sleep at night reduces the blood pressure and regularizes the heart beats. People compromising on sleep are the ones most prone to suffer from heart attacks and high blood pressure. Not flossing your teeth: Gingivitis is the inflammation of gums. This inflammation hosts large number of germs that leak into the bloodstream and reach the heart causing a number of heart problems. People who floss daily not only have good oral hygiene, they also have a healthy heart. Forgetting the Family: Many heart diseases tend to run in the family. It is very important to know the medical history of your parents and grandparents. The risks of you developing heart diseases are high if someone in your family already has them.
Painful intercourseSome of the causes affecting women can be: Going too fast, penetrating from an awkward position. Do not hesitate to tell your partner that it hurts and he needs to slow down or change position in order to make you comfortable and prevent pain. Dry vagina or lack of natural lubrication in the vagina. This dry vagina is caused due to some medications, changes at the menopause. Sometimes just increasing the time of foreplay can help vaginal lubrication. Use water-based lubricant to reduce pain. Failure to fire off. Sometimes failure of the vagina and uterus to respond to sexual arousal can lead to irritation and tenderness. The vagina may be too tight for the intercourse sometimes or the uterus may not be raised so that the penis comes in contact with the cervix during penetration. Using other penetration methods can be helpful to explore the level of arousal before engaging in intercourse. Vaginismus can be the cause of discomfort. Muscles surrounding vagina are sometimes very tight and lead to pain and intercourse to be painful. Woman can examine herself with her fingers to see if vaginal walls are tighter than normal. It can be vaginismus. Normal cause is nervousness or anxiety. It is reversible. Good foreplay before intercourse will help to relax the muscles and help lubricate. Just relaxing before the act can be helpful. Vaginal infection and inflammation due to yeast, herpes, etc. can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fabrics, creams, perfumes may cause irritation in area in some women. Avoid these. First-time sex can be a little painful. Rupture of the hymen can cause discomfort during penetration. Start slowly or begin with forms of penetration other than intercourse. Psychological pain. Sexually traumatic experiences or feelings of guilt associated with sex can make the act painful. Consult a sex therapist or psychiatrist. Discomfort during intercourse is experienced by men too, various causes affecting this outcome for men are: Tight foreskin. During first attempt at intercourse, tight foreskin will make retraction painful. After sometime, the foreskin will become loose and make intercourse comfortable. Any lesion on the penis skin can make intercourse painful. These may result from non-lubricated masturbation or rapid intercourse or STDs. The blisters due to herpes infection can make intercourse extremely painful.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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