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  MEN`S HEALTH MORE
9 ways to become a better dad
The mystery of the male mind revealed!
Fairness scream: The new male obsession"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?" The words at once evoke images of the evil queen as she strikes a vain pose at the looking glass. However, these days one needs to be more accommodating and make way for a preening gent to put forth the above query. All these days, fairness would be a quality an Indian male would look for in his wife. Just see the Fair & Lovely ads to know what we mean. But today, this very obsession has turned on itself. More and more men are being just as exacting about their own skin color, complexion and tone as their female counterparts. Just take a look at all those TV commercials where celebrity endorsements dangle the bait of fairness creams, lotions and body wash specially designed for teenagers and young men seeking to take them to the promised land of social and sexual success. But before you rush to buy that cream, here's what that fairness is all about Fairness is skin cell deep Fair, ruddy, dark or wheatish is all determined primarily by the melanin content in our skin cells. Some races like the Africans have a high melanin content thereby giving them a dark colour while Europeans are of a lighter skin colour due to low melanin content. So whether you use an expensive fairness cream or go in for beauty treatments at luxurious beauty spas, genetics will have a final say on the matter. How fairness creams work...or do they? Fairness creams contain chemicals which block the production of melanin in the skin and thus enable a lighter skin tone and a fairer complexion. Mostly melanin production in men is more than females, which is why women's fairness creams don't have so much of an effect on men. The cosmetic industry recognized this factor and thus developed products designed for the male skin. However, some of these "men's only" fairness brands are glorified sunblock creams which block the harmful ultra violet radiation of the sun which blackens the skin. The dark side of fair Some of the beauty treatments and fairness creams contain chemicals like hydroquinone, mercury, and even steroids, which could do more harm than good. If you are obsessed about fairness, the least you could do is use a branded product (though that is no guarantee of its efficacy!). First sample it to check of it suits your skin. If a rash breaks out, consult a skin specialist immediately. Finally, it is the health of the skin which is more important than colour. So exercise regularly or use natural skin treatments like orange peels, cucumber patches to enhance your skin tone. Don't give in to peer pressure. The obsession for fairness can lead to low self-esteem and needless rivalry. Cosmetologists and marketers of fairness products are the only ones who will laugh their way to the bank at your cost. So, if you have a darker skin colour you don't have to go in for expensive remedies just because men in your age group find it cool. Self-acceptance is much better remedy than any beauty treatment in the world.  
Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
  WOMEN`S HEALTH MORE
10 Hair secrets
Tips to prevent osteoporosis in women
Pregnancy myths bustedChances of getting pregnant each month gets increased by 50% in the women of the age of early 20's: This not right, for a women to get pregnant is not easy. When a woman is below 25 the chances of hitting baby bingo are only 20 to 25 %, while the women above 35 years of age the chances are 15%.   The baby's gender could be understood by the shape and size of the belly. It is believed that woman carrying a girl has high belly: False again. The shape of belly depends on original shape of the abdomen, amount and the distribution of the fat, strength of the abdominal muscles, the number of babies conceived and the position of the baby... but in no way possible can the shape or size of a belly give away the sex of the baby inside.   The best fertility lubricant to be used for conceiving is saliva: This is totally wrong, actually saliva is the sperm killer, most of the lubricants and massage oil are also not good for fertility, so it is better to go without using any lubricant.   Sperm production is impaired by laptops: This is true. Heat is not good for male fertility when laptops are used on laps they may generate heat and affect the fertility. So it is good to use the laptops as desktops.   The conceiving period of most of the couples is 3 months: This is not right, most of the couples take about 6 - 12 months of active efforts to conceive if they are not having any fertility problems.   There are more chances of conceiving, if you do more sex on the fertile days: This is true, the man having normal sperm count to have sex during her partners fertile days is good for conception. Having everyday sex was suggested in earlier days but anything which is done in excess is always more.   The egg can be fertilized within two days after it is released: This not true, an egg has the shelf life of only 12 to 24 hour, and the sperm have to meet with egg within that time, though it has the shelf life of 3 days or more.   Position during conception matters: This is not true, the sperms which are healthy are good swimmers, they can make you pregnant in any condition.   Eating oysters is good for getting pregnant: This is true, oysters are the good source of zinc, which is the most fertile mineral, it is also a good booster for libido, it can be used by both sexes.   Having cough medicine is good for getting pregnant: This is true, cough expectorants loosens up the cervical mucus as it does with the mucus in the chest, and the looser cervical mucus gives the sperm an easier and faster way to get pregnant. But some cough medicines contains an antihistamine that dries up all the mucus, which makes for a difficult swim for the sperms.   The sex of the baby is known by the glow on the face of the mother: This is not true, as the morning sickness of the mother is stopped, she starts eating well, the blood circulation also improves and in general the mother feels good, which gives the glow on the face. There is no relation between the glow on face and delivery of a baby.   The baby having lots of hair causes heartburn to their mother: Completely false, heartburn is the common complaint of the mother during pregnancy, this is due to reflux in oesophagus, in this the food particles come up through the food pipe and due to its acidic nature it causes heart burn. There is no relation between baby having lots of hair and heartburn.   The food intake of the pregnant woman should be doubled, for baby and the mother: This is not true, the pregnant woman, should take a balanced nutritious diets containing ample of proteins, vitamins, and minerals, small meals should eaten for every two hours rather than eating only 3 times the bulky meals.   Labor can be induced having sex during pregnancy: Not true, if the woman is physically fit during pregnancy can have sex as advised by the doctor only the position during sex should be taken care of, it should not cause discomfort to the woman.   Regular breastfeeding is a barrier for getting pregnant: Again a myth, the women can get pregnant even in the lactational ammenorrhea before the first menstrual cycle. You should always use contraception to avoid pregnancy.   Using computer during pregnancy can harm baby: This is not true, there may be backache if you continuously work for a long time on computer, but there is no direct effect of computer on the baby.   Source: What to Expect Before You're Expecting
Fitness mantras during pregnancyYou must be wondering how Shilpa Shetty maintained her fitness even after bearing a child. The simple answer is that she never gave up exercising. Exercising during and after pregnancy is the best way to stay in shape and ensure your mental and physical healthiness. It also helps you in preparing for labour pain and delivery, and quick recovery postpartum. However, there are some things you need to keep in mind while exercising during pregnancy: Measure your fitness You need to determine how fit you are. This will help in determining the type and duration of exercising during pregnancy and post pregnancy. Also, before you continue your old exercise routine or begin a new one, you should talk to your doctor about exercising while you're pregnant. Pregnancy is a balancing act After the fourth month of pregnancy, it's likely you will lose balance while you exercise. Though your baby is well protected with amniotic sac, it is better to be safe than sorry. Safe exercises Activities such as swimming, walking, yoga, pilates, and low-impact aerobics are good choices. Pregnancy is not the right time to start any new intensive exercise, but it is safe to continue with most types of exercise if you're used to them. The things you should avoid Avoid exercises where you are likely to lose your balance or could make you fall or slip. Vigorous or extreme activities such as horse riding, skiing, mountain climbing are out of the question. They carry too high a risk of injury to your tummy. Avoid exercises such as: Sit-ups Standing on one leg Separating your legs widely You should also avoid most contact sports, such as football, basketball and so on. Finally, give racket sports a miss if you're not a regular player as they can be tough on your knees and ankles. Check with your doctor Consult the doctor before starting with any new or unusual exercise. Check for any complications or unusual conditions. Also, discuss for any concern such as: Pregnancy-induced high blood pressure Early contractions Vaginal bleeding Premature rupture of your membranes, also known as waters (the fluid in the amniotic sac around the fetus) breaking early The best outfit for exercise Clothes should be comfortable and loose fitting while exercising. Wear a supportive bra which protects the breasts and is also relaxing. If your shoe size has changed because of mild swelling, you may want to buy a new one. Duration of the exercise Exercising three to four times a week is necessary. This reduces stress, fights fatigue, and stabilizes emotions in early pregnancy. Start gradually, may be with only five minutes a day, if you were totally inactive before. Add five minutes each day till you reach 30 minutes. Also keep in mind to avoid exercise on an empty stomach. Eat a snack 30 minutes before exercise. Never over do Listen to your body when it says 'stop'. Over exercising causes overheating. Raising your core temperature too much can affect the baby adversely. Always sip water before, during and after exercising. Listening to your body when something hurts or doesn't feel right - that means stop. Drink a lot of water Try to drink about two glasses of water two hours before you begin exercising. Take a sports bottle of water with you when you exercise and take frequent sips from it. It's important you don't get dehydrated. This may raise your body temperature, which may not be good for you or your baby.  Keeping these points in mind, exercise to stay healthy and fit. We hope you soon give birth to a healthy kid.  
  KIDS CARE MORE
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10 tricks to motivate kids
Bonding with the babyIt is an immense pleasure to hold a baby in your arms, isn't it? The bonding between amotherand her baby starts within the womb itself. When the baby is born, a few parents bond with the baby within minutes. But for others this may take some time. If the baby is taking time to respond to your affections, don't worry, here are some tips to help you with the bonding. Babies respond to the mother by making sounds, grasping, smiling, or crying. Touching, holding, kissing, cuddling, talking and singing help build a bond with your child. Infants prefer a human face to any other stimuli. So face your child as much as possible. The attention span of a new born baby is quite short. Hang a colorful object on top of the pram, cradle,or cot. Your baby already likes toys of different shapes. Various reflexes develop by the fourth week after birth. These include sucking, grasping, searching for the nipple and blinking. Baby may gaze at you some time. Respond by nodding, smiling, and talking to the baby. Babies are sensitive to their surroundings. They respond to music or the phone ringing by staring at it quietly. They observe toys keenly, spot colours and become happy at times. These are heart warming moments for the parents. Father's care usually builds a protective and secured feeling in a child which he carries for life and prevents building of any unreal fears in him in later life. So dads should care for and make their babies feel secure. You love to touch your bundle of joy, right? Babies love, enjoy, and need it as well. Skin-to-skin touch helps growth and development of the child. Mom's touch soothes the baby when he is irritated. Start reading to your child. It is never too early. It helps the development of reading skills and language. Babies enjoy pictures in the book. Even if baby can't understand words, they love to hear the parents' voices. During the first few months, they understand little of it, but they are thrilled by listening to you. Have a short reading session with your child daily.Dads can try this trick to make the baby sleep. Carry her around while patting her very gently on back.
Teach your kid to stand up to bulliesAlmost everyone has heard of the beach bully who goes around kicking sand in the face of the skinny lad. That's the quintessential imagery associated with bullies and it has stayed with us for over 3 decades since the first ads came out. The ads generally endorsed body building products using the classic 'Before' and 'After' construct, i.e. before you got your face sandblasted by the beach bully and after you took that protein shake or muscle builder to get even. Bullying is a phenomenon where a person or group wilfully targets someone with the intention of troubling them over a specific thing. (Bullies generally pick on someone they perceive as physically, mentally, financially, socially or racially inferior.) There is no age-limit for bullies as the bully could be a school going kid with an attitude problem or a fully grown adult, who could indulge in it from sheer force of habit or due to a mental problem. Again there is no age limit for the victim as well. Anybody could really be a target for the bully menace, right from school children, teenagers, disabled or even old people. Well bullying has changed considerably in these times and you also have the e-bully version where insecure bullies go about harassing people, especially teenagers over the internet. Bullies resort to tactics like causing public humiliation or embarrassment to hapless victims or resort to threats or other control-based abusive behaviour. Ok so everyone has undergone bullying from time to time but the question is should you allow it to happen to your teenaged son or daughter? Mind you, here it isn't simply a question of some leg pulling by friends or teachers but some serious malice that could well destroy your teenager's confidence and cause permanent scars on his self-esteem. Yes, if your teenager is being subjected to bullying then teach him how to kick the sand right back in the bully's face. Before we learn how to do that let's see the types of bullying that your kid could be subjected to: Verbal bullying This includes teasing or making caustic remarks directed at someone on a regular basis. The school bully does that, doesn't he? As you would probably remember from your own school days that fat lout who made you quiver with fright as he snatched your lunch box away to feed the dogs. Yes, the very same guy who pulled your sister's pig-tails and called you names which made you go red in the face. You could do nothing but pray he wouldn't notice you somehow. Well so something similar could be happening with your teenager. Verbal bullying need not be done by a school friend. Even a responsible teacher could target someone for deprecatory remarks causing much embarrassment, ridicule andfeelings of inadequacy to a teenager. Sometimes kids look up to their teachers for encouragement and support and those very people could actually damage a child's self-esteem by unjustified criticism and bullying behaviour.Teenage girls could suffer taunts and remarks about certain physical traits and since they are at a delicate age where their bodies are undergoing changes, such verbal abuse can indeed cause long-term depression or personality issues. Physical bullying Physical bullying is where your teenager could be subjected to physical harassment at the hands of the bully. Whether it is a simple case of holding your teenager's hand or unprovoked physical assault, the end result is the same-injuries to the body and mind. The bully may not go as far as inflict any visible scars on the teenager's body but the episodes could certainly cause great fear and trauma to him. Even teenage girls are not spared physical abuse at the hands of bullies. In certain cases, teens suffering from long-term bullying actually took some extreme measures by committing suicide or breaking down completely. Internet bullying Internet bullying is where your teenager is probably most vulnerable. At least school bullying is restricted to school, but here your teenager is at the mercy of just about everyone - from the school bully to the earnest paedophile! Causing embarrassment on public forums, threats of physical or sexual harm is the most common and as a parent you have to take every step possible to not just protect your child but also help him take care of himself or herself. The bully menace The school bully is comparatively easier to deal with than the internet lout! Well, one can't be too sure of that statement either since these days,school kids are known to blow up their own classmates or participate in a heist with adult precision. Always watch out for the classic signs of bullying. If your child appears withdrawn or disturbed after school hours then gently probe and encourage your child to tell it all. If you feel there is enough reason to think your child is being subject to bullying then bring it to the notice of the school immediately as others could have similar complaints. Do not admonish your child or scold him as it could cause him to withdraw in to the shell that the bully provided him in the first place. Parents and elder siblings can be bullies too so remember that. Teach your child to stand up to bullies. The bully is generally an insecure person who uses brute force to feel good about himself, at the cost of others. The school bully generally has his way and is not used to being challenged. Teach your child to look the bully in the eye and register protest. This will go a long way in teaching your child how to fight back and not take any nonsense from others.If the situation worsens, then always keep a track of your teenager's whereabouts especially if it is a girl. Once the bully realizes that he is being tracked he generally lies low or picks on someone else. Internet bullying requires different measures. You can monitor your child's online activities and teach them to never ever share any personal information or photographs online or on forums which are off-limits for children and adolescents. You can complain to the authorities if things get out of hand. If someone repeatedly issues threats to your teenager, either online or in real life, is a cause for real concern and one must take them seriously. If your child does not learn to cope with bullies it could affect him well in to adulthood, where he will feel helpless and easily scared by imposing people or even develop a hatred for authority figures. Bullying can fuel an already weak personality in to gaining an inferiority complex; the flip side is that kids who have been subjected to bullying can repeat the same patterns on their younger siblings or at school. So a bully creates another bully if continued unchecked. Mental problems in children are on the rise, so bullying is also no longer an innocent joke but could be a serious crime. Bullies whether children or grown-ups, suffer from some personality disorder or a serious inferiority complex which makes them compulsive trouble makers and their victims are generally people who cannot hit back or are vulnerable. Take Hitler for instance. Wasn't he just a bully who was unhappy in his own life? Look what he did to millions of innocent people. Wasn't that a bully gone berserk?  
  MENTAL HEALTH MORE
Common relationship problems and solutions
8 Strategies to battle stress
Expression forbidden! - Human emotionsSome people have a perpetual 'bee in their bonnets'! They maintain a demeanor and a mask which is virtually impenetrable. They are generally highly competent and efficient and occupy high positions of authority. They believe in living life set to a routine, and the worst part is that they expect others to adhere to it as well! God help those who have a boss like that, as their immediate liberty is at stake, and unless they are honing to be perfectionists, life is going to be a series of disasters with Captain Ice around! Nothing wrong with perfectionism per se, but when someone is a hard task master then he could well earn himself the epithet of being "a crashing bore," especially if he doesn't allow others to express themselves properly. Take a more intimate scenario - Mr. Bright Harry meets tepid Sally. The sparks fly only on Harry's side with Sally stonewalling his every effort to get to know her mind, body, and soul. A tough ask for poor Harry, as he is yet to touch first base with Sally. Know what? They have been married 5 years and she seems to be fond of him, yet has never as much admitted it to him. Quite frankly, the two could pass off for siblings rather than 'man and wife.' Why are some people such rotten spoilsports, especially where emotions are concerned?  It may well be a natural mindset for some to have an emotional guard up and emote, or have an emotional connect only with certain types of people. Fair enough and good show, we say! After all one can't be wearing one's emotions on a sleeve or you end up been taken advantage of. That's a mask that most 'tough guys with soft centre' wear anyway. Nowadays with the rules being somewhat relaxed with men been given liberty and allowances to display their gentler feminine emotional side, we find men going over the top with the sheer display of emotional expression. One is at sea wondering which one was worse off-the tough, cynical cop look or the "let me weep my heart out for you" kind of contrived emotion. That apart, it is bad enough for us having to contend with a person who has difficulty with expressing himself properly. We don't mean articulation or even well-developed linguistic ability - we mean being able to be spontaneous and congenial and a little forthcoming and nice to be with sort of an emotional person. So, unless someone has a romantic angle towards this guy (there are weirdoes all over the world, who go asking for it!) or girl, he is going to be feared, hated, despised, unloved, and uninvited by everybody. So why do people behave like they are going to be flogged for even attempting a ghost of a smile or a cheerful greeting to a fellow co-worker? Why do some people find it difficult even to open up on a psychiatrist's couch? The Mask The most common reason for Mr. or Ms. Grumpy is that they have probably been emotionally brutalized in their formative years by an authoritative parent and this has caused them to lock themselves up double quick in a shell and throw away the key. Now, that can be tough and extremely painful. It is a prison of their own making through which nobody can see that once bright-n-chirpy personality frozen, much like the curse of the wicked witch in those fairy tales we read. The person is dying to let his emotions out and let people see who he is, but since very little light escapes out due to the tough mask and veneer, that it is an uphill task. Then the sheer anger at not being understood, subconsciously plays havoc and then he gets to be the more demanding boss at work or that sullen wife or lone stranger staring in to nothingness on the park bench. These are the people that have a series of relationship disasters as their defence mechanisms are too solid to be penetrated. Some people may be naturally distant, and for them the finer and higher emotions probably don't register as much as they do in the average person. These guys are cut out for careers ranging from lighthouse keepers to morgue attendants to hangmen, where being emotional has no place. There are still others who swing the other extreme by showing so much of emotion that it is scary for others to take them on. Their emotional side is so overwhelming and demanding that it is actually a clever subterfuge on their part to drive people away as they subconsciously do not want people to get to know their real side. They generally don a mask of humor and good cheer and are great fun to be with. In reality, they are alone and scared and perhaps hurt emotionally. So, they feel safe to display emotions to masses rather than individuals. These people make good evangelists and rock stars as they can safely display and get an emotional discharge without running the risk of a one-on-one emotional exchange where they are afraid they would be hurt. If you encounter such a person who looks askance at you displaying your emotions, then it is better for you to talk things out and maybe put things in perspective. Of course, this all depends on whether you are emotional enough to maybe give someone a chance by understanding what drives them to do the things they do. Let me assure you the ice will thaw if the intention is genuine and well meant.
Healing yourself after a broken relationshipThere is no singular formula to get over a relationship. Moreover, you cannot 'get over' a relationship like you get over a broken phone. Every relationship is like a grown tree. When it breaks, you have to let it molder into the Earth - the time period between the breaking of the relationship and your comeback as 'you' is the time for transformation - this is your time to understand yourself, your relationship with others, and reach out to the world. Did you know the over 50% of people undergoing breakup tend to resort to emotional eating to rescue themselves from sadness and rush in the comfort hormones? Keep an eye on what you eat to trace the emotional signs you are disguising. Keep a tab on your diet and pamper your body with care. Here are seven basic stages through which you can consciously walk to recover through your broken relationship. Such a process is not linear and you could be undergoing various stages at the same time or in a different order. However, make sure you go through each stage. Missing any stage could result in residual and subconscious anger or denial. Stage 1: Let it outDon't be afraid to accept that you are heartbroken, that you feel like a mess and just wish that your ex-partner was around again. Accepting your emotional state is the first step to being able to unravel yourself out of it. Stage 2: Pondering over the causeThe initial stage post-breakup is primarily spent trying to distract oneself from the absence of the ex-partner by busying oneself with other activities. However, the nagging question 'why did our relationship not work? why did it have to be this way?' lingers, ready to barge in at the very instance you have your moment of peace. The first thing to understand during a breakup is that there is a distinction between analysing and understanding on one hand and obsessing on the other. Try to go through the stages in your relationship which you intuitively trace as being of significance to the break-up. However, remember not to be biased towards yourself and to weigh your responsibility towards the breakup as much as you do your ex-partner's. Stage 3: Taking a hard look at the relationship and learningYou might have had other relationships before where you did not feel the kind of intimacy you felt with this particular person. However, if you feel that you are up to a large part responsible for the break up, then look for the pattern of behavior or thinking which was causing such a breakup. Taking a hard look at your relationship will help you to recognize your mistakes and learn readying yourself to become a more sensitive person with greater understanding of human emotions. Stage 4: Reaching out to the WorldWhile you are working yourself through reasons for breakup and your role in it, don't step back from reaching out to people. Communication is the basic balm that will heal the wound of a broken relationship. Your inner communication with yourself is one dimension of it while talking things out with your friends and close ones is another important dimension. During a conversation about the breakup, don't simply blame your ex-partner completely to blind yourself towards healing. Be honest to yourself and attempt to talk to those friends who can help you through the hard time with care. If you love animals and nature, then reach out to the wild. Take time off from your usual routine and follow your interests. Stage 5: The Bigger Picture of the Break-up Having pondered over the reasons particular to your past relationship, understand that the fundamental reason for any relationship to break up is that the two people involved in it have different ways of looking at the world. Remember that differences do not imply a hierarchy. Differences are essential to human nature. This will help you to forgive your ex-partner, catalysing your redemption from the land of anger and despair. The world is a beautiful place full of diverse kinds of people. Do not let your breakup make you give up on humanity. Stage 6: Letting yourself freeNow is the time to have a relationship with yourself. Explore your interests and dip yourself in them. It is not a crime to be happy with yourself. However, do not use these activities to escape the pain. Let your activities be your company in pain - slowly the pain will fade and you will reconcile with the reality of your broken relationship. Join hobbies which will help you have some time for yourself: pottery, nature watching, animal care, voluntary work. Remember that your identity does not depend on the opinion of your ex-partner: you create who you are. Most importantly, take care of your body - we tend to mess up our body cycles during a breakup. Stage 7: Giving yourself time to become complete before starting off with another relationshipDo not rush into a relationship before you have completely healed from the past relationship. There is a high tendency to try to fill the gap of the absence by moving onto the next most intimate person you know. Give yourself time to recover and answer the following questions before entering into a relationship again: What kind of relationship do you want to have? How would you like to spend your day with her/him? (Remember that a whole day is a series of small activities that you will share with your love - don't focus just on the big stuff like finance, house, and others, emphasis on shared interests). What future do you expect from a relationship? These are the three basic questions. Be free to add on the relevant questions according to your needs and answer them honestly before writing a new chapter into your life. Having pondered over the reasons particular to your past relationship, understand that the fundamental reason for any relationship to break up is that the two people involved in it have different ways of looking at the world. Remember that differences do not imply a hierarchy. Differences are essential to human nature. This will help you to forgive your ex-partner, catalyzing your redemption from the land of anger and despair.
  BEAUTY AND FITNESS MORE
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Fifty shades of grey - Not anymore! tips to mask grey hair
Good and bad calories-How do they affect weight loss?Not all calories are bad calories. Surprisingly very few people are aware that good calories are quintessential for burning fat and can rather help you in losing weight. So, it's very important to know how to differentiate between good calories and the bad ones. What is a Calorie? In scientific terms, one calorie equals to one unit of energy. When the term calorie is being used in relation to nutrition, it means consumption of energy through what you drink and eat and use of energy for carrying physical activity. Many people think that in nutritional terminology, calories are only associated with drink and food; but the truth of the matter is that everything has energy is calories. For example, since coal provides you energy it contains calories. 7,004,684,512 calories are equal to energy produced by 1-ton of coal. Coming back to weight loss, 100 calories of fiber and protein is not similar to 100 calories of a cake. This is because there are good and bad calories and much like us humans all calories are not equal. Calories are the measuring units of energy that are produced by the food once it reaches your body. This energy works on the law of physics and hence less energy intake leads to weight loss and vice versa. Varying types of Calories Different types of food provide varying calories or energy amount to the body. The analysis of a tightly scrutinized weight loss experiment has revealed that when people of two different groups were fed the same measure of calories albeit from varying food sources, the weight loss was almost similar. However, the effects of weight loss were variable; like uncontrolled emotions, cravings, hunger and more. This happened for the same reason that some calories are good and some calories are bad. Good and bad calories Sugar is a powerhouse of energy. But if you keep on eating only sugar all day long it will be suicidal. This is because; the calories present in the sugar are devoid of any nutrients and your body cannot function without the right balance of different minerals, nutrients and vitamins. Most food not only carry calories but they also constitute a complex mixture of additives, fiber and nutrients. These mixtures of varying components directly affect the leptin hormone that controls the hunger trigger in your body. These hormones tell the body to either burn the fat or store it. The process of weight loss is made complicated by the fact that biologically our body is programmed to protect the fat stores so that they can be utilized during starvation. So, the question remain, which calories should you eat to lose weight but still keep on getting the required amount of energy? Eating lean protein, healthy fats and unrefined and unprocessed carbohydrates such as fruits, beans and vegetables are the best for losing weight. Calories with more nutrients are the best The foods that do not store fat and make us eat again and again, are the ones you should eat as good calorie food. Choosing them is simple. These are the same food that humans used to eat before processed food was invented. For example; avoid using the processed whole grains and switch over to brown rice instead of the polished white rice. Also, stone-ground whole wheat, oats or quinoa bread is much better than the white bread. Replace the processed carbohydrates from your platter with whole grains and vegetables to lose weight, control hypertension and blood sugar. Use fats derived from plant sources such as olive oil or nut oil. Eat lean protein more such as chicken and fish.
When the grey matters!Greying of hair happens to all of us at some point in life. Some may get it early and other fortunate ones may get it when they are 50. Premature greying and hair fall is a common problem faced by 70% of females in India these days. What are the causes of greying of hair and what can be done if your hair starts to go grey early? What are the probable causes of grey hair and hair fall? Deficiency of nutrients in diet. Excessive stress. Dandruff. Diseases like thyroid disorders, anemia, and vitiligo. Side effects of certain medication. Hair problems are seen more in women who smoke or drink. Childbirth and menopause are the periods of life when most of the women invariably have hair loss. Hereditary pattern of premature greying. Today's beauty procedures like coloring, bleaching, dyeing, perming, and straightening cause hair problems at a young age. Environmental pollution. Treatment and prevention Have a balanced diet. Ensure proper nutrients reach your body in every meal. If you are anemic, treat it with proper medication. This can be an underlying cause. Have a good sleep. Avoid tension and stress. Apply oil regularly and massage. Drink lots of water. Avoid exposure to chemicals. What can be done to hide the grey hair? Apply amla oil to your hair to make it healthy. Apply henna, lemon juice, fenugreek seeds paste, made in an iron container, on your hair to give them a color and reduce greying. Boil gooseberry pieces in coconut oil. When they turn black apply it on the hair. If you have 45-50% grey hair then you can use a permanent hair color.
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A fine spine - Common disorders of the spineThe spine is made up of small bones called vertebrae that are stacked one upon the other. When viewed from the side, the normal spine has gentle curves to it. Because the spine is a complex structure and happens to be at the center of all our activities, it is subjected to a lot of diseases. A common misconception of low backache is that you should rest. In fact, rest is not recommended at all. Keep up with light non-strenuous activities after the symptoms have subsided. Given here are a few common conditions of the spine: Loss of curvature: The spine, when seen sideways has gentle curves to it. The curves, when lost, can lead to pain and imperfect posture. Kyphosis and Scoliosis are the commonest form of spine curvature abnormalities.Kyphosis is the abnormal and excessive curving of the upper part of the spine. It is commonly called as a hump. It may be present since birth or may develop during the teenage years. The most common symptoms seen are a hump, back pain and muscle stiffness. The pain remains constant and does not worsen over time. If the curvature is too much, then the thoracic cage may get compressed and pressed for space. This may cause cardio-thoracic problems like chest pain, shortness of breath and even death. Compression of spinal nerves may cause loss of bladder and bowel control, loss of sensation and muscle weakness. Kyphosis is treated with physiotherapy, anti-inflammatory drugs and in severe cases, with bracing.Scoliosis is the side-to-side curvature that occurs during growth spurts before puberty. It may also be caused by spinal cord injuries and arthritis. Scoliosis develops gradually. The symptoms seen are usually by people other than the patient, where they may notice a slight slouch while walking. At times it may be seen that clothes that used to fit earlier are now ill-fitting. The pants seem to have shortened on one side. The curvature if mild responds well to physiotherapy. Physiotherapy is also useful as it helps to stretch and strengthen the muscles. This helps in stopping the progression of curvature. Severe cases require bracing and even surgical intervention with rods, hooks, wires and screws to correct the curvature. Sciatica: Sciatica is a condition that arises when the sciatic nerve is pressed upon. This condition arises when a degenerated vertebra presses upon the disc below it, or when there is a disc prolapse.  Abnormally tight piriformis muscle of the buttocks and a tumor in the spine may also cause sciatic pain. The hallmark symptom is the characteristic pain along the leg that starts from the hip and radiates all the way down. The pain is worsened by sitting and tingling numbness also develops. Treatment includes anti-inflammatory medicines and physiotherapy. Spondylolisthesis: When the spine is subjected to the pressures of daily activity, there is a lot of wear and tear that goes on in the vertebrae. This may cause the vertebra to move forward and slide on the vertebra below it. As a result, you may experience a constant backache. Spondylolisthesis can be congenital, it may occur due to trauma to the vertebral column, due to a tumor in the vertebra or due to degenerative changes in the vertebra and cartilage as a result of diseases like arthritis. Low backache is the hallmark of this disease. The pain is typically worse after any exercise that involves the lower back. The motions of low back are restricted and if there is nerve compression then tingling and numbness along the leg may also be seen.Rest and avoiding exertion of back muscles helps reduce the symptoms. Physiotherapy helps in restoring the strength and improving the range of motions. Spinal Stenosis: Degenerative diseases like osteoarthritis cause development of bone spurs in the vertebral column leading to its narrowing. This puts pressure on the nerves and leads to pain and tingling and numbness. Cervical Spondylosis: This condition occurs due to degenerative changes in the vertebrae of the neck region. Commonly seen as neck stiffness with pain that radiates all the way down the arm.  The pain occurs as the nerves get compressed by disc prolapse or bone outgrowths in the vertebra. Treatment includes neck immobilization, cervical traction, medications for pain and physiotherapy. Ways to reduce spine problems and backache are: Quit smoking Adopt a perfect posture Do exercises that will strengthen your core, lower back muscles and abs. Do not ignore or overlook the pains. Consult your doctor at the earliest. Spinal problems are the ones that are frequently overlooked. Ignoring the symptoms may lead to worsening of the problem. See your doctor at the earliest to be safe. The spine is the backbone of our body, in the true sense of the word. It is up to us to keep our spine in good condition as an unhealthy spine will interfere with almost all our body functions.
Hypertension and Vitamin DVitamin D is one of the essential vitamins that are required for strong and healthy bones. The body synthesizes it in the skin from cholesterol when there is adequate exposure to sunlight. Over the past decade, vitamin D has been intriguing medical researchers the world over. Several studies were conducted and interesting results found. One of them being that vitamin D may be implicated in influencing blood pressure levels. As per studies conducted, it was found that low levels of vitamin D lead to high blood pressure levels. People living in high altitudes where sunlight is at a minimum level were found to be hypertensive. Also, the winter season showed an increase in hypertension cases which was again attributed to the low sunlight levels. What exactly does vitamin D do to affect the blood pressure? Renin is an enzyme secreted by the kidneys that constricts the blood vessels and increases the blood pressure. Vitamin D acts by inhibiting this renin. Insulin resistance causes high blood pressure, which is why hypertension often has co-morbidity with diabetes mellitus. Vitamin D helps in improving the body's sensitivity to insulin. Calcium deposits on the arterial walls harden them and make them lose their elasticity leading to an increase in the pressure of blood flowing through them. Vitamin D helps the body to better absorb and metabolize the calcium. The role of vitamin D in strengthening bones is very clear. Though the studies have shown that people having deficiency in vitamin D tend to develop hypertension, the role of vitamin D in this case is still not very clear. Also, whether vitamin D supplements help in lowering blood pressure levels is still to be found out! But all said and done, the research findings cannot be ignored. Moreover, a morning walk is beneficial in many other ways as well! So, get up early, put on your walking shoes and say Hello to the sun! Vitamin D alone will not help you control your BP. You need to keep taking the medications along with the other dietary and life-style changes! An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day!
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Sex at 50 for womenAs you age, your reflexes slow down. The passion to love and to be loved is never dying and just because you have grown in age, you should not stop enjoying sex. The body, especially in case of women also undergoes many changes after the menopausal period. Although it may take you more time to become aroused but the desire to have sex is always there. Moreover, with no children and no worry of getting pregnant you can enjoy sex uninterrupted without any tension. Women who continue to remain sexually active after their menopause retain their ability for enjoying normal orgasms. But this does not mean that there is no difference in the enjoyment factor. Several factors can be detrimental in continuing sex activity. However, there are solutions that can help the couple in their fifties still enjoy sex. Better sex can be possible even during the fifties but for this, you should be ready to take some extra efforts and make your body more comfortable for sex. Using lubrication After the menopause, the body of a woman starts producing less female hormone-estrogen. Lower estrogen level leads to physical changes such as less elasticity of vagina, dryness in vagina and so on. Your vagina may also take more time to swell and lubricate; in turn making intercourse painful or uncomfortable. Instead of getting discouraged by such occurrence, you should try to find out a remedy for it. For overcoming the dryness of vagina, you can use different sexual lubricants that are specifically prepared for the older women. You get them in suppositories or gel forms, which you apply liberally to the vaginal area before having sex. There are certain vaginal moisturizers also available in the market that makes vaginal penetration easier by maintaining elasticity and lubrication. Increase the frequency The more often you have sex, the easier it is for you to maintain elasticity and lubrication. So, go for it more often to enjoy it more now. Hormonal therapy treatment If you are suffering from distressing menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, you can opt for hormonal therapy treatment. This will help to relieve the vaginal dryness. Some doctors also suggest local intra-vaginal therapy to avoid discomfort and dryness during penetration. Application of local estrogen into the vagina enhances the blood flow to this area and ensures more sensation and lubrication. Intra-vaginal estrogen treatment This treatment is carried out in three different ways: A small ring of silastic is inserted high inside the vagina and is kept there for three months. This ring release estrogen in right amount to promote optimum vaginal health. A small tablet of estrogen is inserted inside the vagina twice in a week. Conjugated estrogen cream is applied with small applicator twice in a week. So, there are different methods for increasing responsiveness, vaginal lubrication and elasticity that help you enjoy sex better even in your fifties. Overcome awareness about your body The body of women in fifties is saggy and wrinkled. However, if you have a young heart and passion for sex, you should not let the body image spoil your enjoyment. It is your response towards your partner that matters the most as both of you are going to age slowly and get more wrinkles as the age progresses. Like someone said, it's the imperfections and not the perfections that we fall in love with.
Sex after 40Sexual changes in normal aging after 40: Erection takes longer time Require manual stimulation, particularly by partner Erection may subside during foreplay or coitus Decreased frequency of nocturnal erection Pre-ejaculatory fluid decrease or absent Ejaculation less forceful Seminal fluid volume decreases or absent Frequency of desire for sexual release decreases with age. Aged couples learn to cope with their own sexuality. Some are happy with foreplay and self masturbation, others insist on more usually it is the male. Frequency of sexual intercourse between 20-95 years : Sexual intercourse decreases with age as the study shows. Decreased during 5year interval after 34 years Weekly frequency: 30 - 34 years 2.2%; 60 - 64 years 0.7%; 65  - 74 years 0.4%; 75 - 79 years 0.3% Do we need to change this pattern with Viagra? I would say yes - sex can be  joyful till the last days. Nobody needs to be impotent now. Home devices like rubber bands, ribbons are also used to hold the blood back in the penis when the erection is not adequate. Vacuum pump to draw blood into penis with an application of a ring after erection is also found suitable by some. Active intervention by drugs (both allopathy, ayurvedic and unani) have been successfully developed. They may be applied topically (minidoxil), inhaled (amyl nitrate) inserted into the urethral passage, injected into the corpus cavernosa or taken orally (Sildenafil, Tadalafil, etc.). Finally if all fails silastic rods can be implanted in the penis to give permanent erection. The joy of living lasts a life time.
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