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Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Tips to make you feel handsomeYou must have heard that looking good takes a lot of money and hard work. But trust me, it's not true at all. You just need to stay confident, and follow few simple and easy tips to get that perfect look. Let us start off by trying to understand what exactly does handsome mean. Well, a simple definition could be -"being handsome means being confident and having loads of style and poise". It's not dependent on somebody's face, or body specifically. So, what makes a person handsome? Will his attitude count? Do we need a lot of money to get that look?  Let's answer all such questions in the article. Personal care: The first for getting a perfect look is to look after yourself well. This shall include: Hygiene: Personal hygiene is most important. Dental hygiene, managing body odor, cutting your nails on time, removing hair in the underarms, nose, and taking care of overall body hygiene is of utmost importance. Skin care: Like women, men need to take care of their skin as well. Applying moisturizers or lotions is necessary. Hair care: Try and wash and shampoo your hair at least twice in a week. You could use natural or artificial conditioners in the hair to make it soft.  Get a trim every month, or else they can become too long and unmanageable. The suave and debonair look: Along with everything else, one needs to take care of one's facial hair also. Try and avoid the rough and rugged look, and get a good shave for yourself. You can either keep clean shaved look, or maintain a beard which is well trimmed. This will give you an urbane and classy look. Clothes cabana: One needs to understand that there are some clothes which shall look good on them and others not. Try and determine which shades look good on you. After this, you need to choose your formal and casual wears as well. Take risks, as you cannot guess what will look good on you every single time. The must have checklist is given below:  A pair of good dark blue jeans A white shirt A colored T-shirt Jacket and waist coat Dinner jacket or tuxedo (whichever suits you) Pair of black trousers Sweatshirts A Full pastel shade sweater Accessorize your look- You need to pair good clothes with cool embellishments like- Shoes: Get two different pairs-one leather and the other sports- for formal and informal occasions. The shoes should be buffed with shoe wax regularly, and you can wash off the dirt on your sports shoes once a month, at least. Belts and Tie: A good and well fitting tie, and a sober choice in belts always adds to the look of the "complete man". Watches: A good analog watch is a "must have" on every guy's wrist. Work out regimens: Now, work out does not only mean joining a gym, or keeping a personal trainer. You need to just keep your body fit, and that can be done by jogging, yoga, or even daily walks. You can even pick up a sport, for that matter. Eat healthy: Try to follow a diet regimen which, nowhere, means you need to have nightmarish boiled vegetables only. You just need to avoid eating outside . This shall not only help you look good, but will let you remain  young and fit for many years.  Once in a week, though, you can easily dig into your favorite foods. Say no to cigarettes and alcohol: Working out, or eating healthy will never help you get in good shape till you say no to all the bad . Try and quit smoking and drinking, as they affect your health and stamina adversely. Along with that, they also have a very bad effect on your mental health. Million dollar smile: Try to wear a good and sweet smile, as a straight face might end up making you look unapproachable and arrogant. So, remember, smiling always helps to complete your attire, and style. Good stance: Wearing all the best outfits  might go all in vain if you have a bad body posture. Try to walk and sit straight. Having an erect stance always makes you look more confident, attractive, and masculine. Wear your confidence and attitude: Lastly, be comfortable and confident with whatever you wear, and however you look. Being confident makes you win half the battle always. So, what are you waiting for? Start off your preparations, as being handsome does not really require an occasion.
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
Tips and tricks to deal with my toddler's tantrumsWhen your child is having a tantrum, it may usually be for something that it wants and cannot have. Throwing a tantrum is a child's way of getting what it wants. Conversely, giving in to the child's demands may be the easy way out for the parents too. But always remember that giving in is not right. The child may get habituated to this and it may prove quite a nuisance to you too. Learn to say no, gently but firmly. Giving an acceptable reason for your 'no' and also an option at the same time works wonders. All said and done, children are not that easy to handle. If your child doesn't fall in line and is adamant, let it pass the phase. Screaming out the rage, throwing away things may help the child. When the anger subsides, looking at the destruction and the obvious uselessness of it may help the child realize his efforts were futile. But be careful that the child doesn't get physically hurt in this process. For some kids, a gentle hug helps soothe the anger pent up. Tantrums in public places can be extremely embarrassing. In such situations, do not argue or scold your child or order him to hush up. It will only end up making the child more adamant. Wait till the storm subsides. Take him out to a quieter place and talk gently but firmly. One thing to remember here is to never let the child know of your embarrassment and concern that you are in a public place. Children are very smart and may end up using this to work things in their favour. It is not easy being a toddler and it is definitely not easy being a toddler's parent either. By the time your toddler is old enough to go school he will have overcome this stage.  
Not very chummy! Menophobia - The fear of periodsMenstruation or periods begin as female reaches puberty. This is the time when there are hormonal changes which occur in the body as nature takes the girl and makes her ready for womanhood. The onset of periods can be distressful with lots of mood swings accompanied by abdominal cramps, bloated feet as the menstrual blood flows. This is also a time when the girl needs to be comforted and educated the most, as it can be truly a terrifying experience. Normally mothers or elder women in the family ensure that they take complete care of the girl in this transition phase. For some women, their initial experience with periods may not have been particularly pleasant, causing them to actually dread those 4 days and this fear can then take the shape of a full blown phobia -Menophobia! The reason could vary. For some the pain factor could be the reason for menophobia, while for others, it could be the memory of embarrassing red stains on the clothes which could set it off. In menophobia, just before the onset of the periods, the person starts getting anticipatory anxiety and the pain which could be normal period pain, is then imagined to be ten times worse. This brings on panic attacks and feeling of utter dread which while is entirely psychological can be utterly distressful and downright crippling. Counseling can help greatly along with pain medication to manage the pain and the fear of this natural phenomenon called periods. In therapy, this is what is iterated. That menstruation is a completely natural process and if there is a fear of menstrual blood then gradually, the woman is encouraged to accept it as a natural body function which plays a major part of her being a woman.
Boost your mood after a long day at workUp before the sun rise, rush to get ready, say hurried goodbyes to the family and crawl like a tortoise through traffic to get to work. Go through a long day of meetings, calls, deadlines, reviews, and then crawl back again through traffic at a snail's pace. Does this sound like a day out of your life? Then surely, weekends go by faster for you than you can say lickety-split, leaving with no time for yourself, your family or your hobbies. Social life is definitely a far cry from possible. This rigorous schedule eventually catches up with the mind and body and lethargy sets in, discouraging any sort of activity that breaks the monotony of day-to-day life. Is there no escape from this? Yes, there is. At the end of the day, when your mind is tired, you do not feel like taking anything more than you already have on your plate. Only the warmth of your bed allures you. However, if you were feeling fresh and enthusiastic, surely, you'd be ready to do a lot more - move mountains or at least drive to meet friends, anyway. An energetic life full of happy times with families without the constant desire of solitude after a long day's work is what you seek, then try these mood boosters to uplift your mood and get your feet tapping right away! The Aroma of Good Mood:Scents play a great role in the way we feel. They have the power to turn the mood around completely. Light a few scented candles or set up an oil diffuse of your favorite oil and you will feel lighter and De-stressed soon enough. You can also mix a few drops of rosemary and bergamot to create an energizing and refreshing infusion. Walk it Off:Most of us work in functional buildings in temperature-controlled environments. The lack of windows makes natural light and ventilation scarce and aids the buildup of gloom and tiredness. A good way to turn the mood around is to walk it off. A short walk around the block or in the building compound can bring you back in touch with nature. If you are lucky to be living in a green community, you have the added benefit of watching the trees and bird life in them. The exercise also helps release hormones in the body that uplift your mood immediately. A Good Deed Begets Good Mood:Giving is the greatest joy! So perform a good deed - if you see someone who needs help on the way back from work, stop for a few moments and help them. Or simply help your spouse, children, parents or neighbor out. And voila! You will find yourself feeling a lot better than how you did when you entered the house. Clear the Clutter:Organizing things and creating neat, clean spaces is a great mood booster. As you clean the clutter, you will find the clutter of thoughts in your head also clearing. Neat, well-kept spaces invite good vibes and energies, which again makes you feel better in turn. Petting a Furry Friend:Petting a dog for even 15 minutes releases the feel good, happy hormones. It does wonders for the stress level too. So the next time your furry friend comes rushing to the door, to welcome you back home, take time to give it some love. The Human Touch:We spend 10-12 hours a day away from our family and familiar touch. The human touch releases uplifting hormones such as serotonin and reduces heart rate and blood pressure making you relaxed. So when you get home, remember; a nice warm hug to your spouse or children will make you both feel better.Remember you work to live and not the other way. So when you get home from a long, tiring day, just boost your mood so you can thoroughly enjoy life with your family!
Fruit diet can be dangerousFruits are healthy and provide lots of nutrition, vitamins, antioxidants, carbohydrates, fibre and bioflavanoids to the body.These things together protect your body from different health conditions and heart disease. However if you only eat fruit, you miss many other essential nutrients such as fats and protein. This can upset your stomach and lead to indigestion. Hence it is very important to take a well-balanced diet to remain healthy. Check out why you should not rely solely on fruits for living. Fruits do not provide protein Protein is highly important for your growth and development. By eating only fruits, you are restricting your intake of proteins that can stop your overall development process. Your body requires calories and energy on a regular basis. Each cell of your body contains protein. To keep your body cells in top working condition it is important that you include protein-rich foods such as lentils, soy products,  nuts and beans in your regular diet. You can also consume low-fat dairy, lean meat, fish and skinless poultry to provide required amount of protein to your body. Fruits do not provide fat Although excess of fat is not good for health, it is essential that your body requires on daily basis to ensure smooth functioning of your immune system and also to help your body absorb various minerals and vitamins provided by other foods like fruit. If you continue being a fruitarian for long duration, the chances of stroke due to brain haemorrhage increases. According to health experts, you should get around 20 to 35 percent of your daily calories from fat. To provide your body with good fats you should include soybean, sunflower, olive or canola oil in your diet. Fish and poultry also provide good amount of healthy fats to the body. Too much of fruits can lead to digestive problems Fruits provide fibres to the body in large amounts. Although your body needs fibre as it is one of the essential nutrients, getting too much of fibre can lead to side effects. Fibre works as broom to clear of your abdomen and aid in the digestion process. However, too much of fibre leads to stomach problems and cause symptoms such as gas, cramps and bloating. Sometimes it may also lead to chronic diarrhoea, dehydration and loose stools. On a regular basis, a woman requires only 22 to 28 gm of fiber per day and a man needs 34 to 38 gm. Apart from fruits, seeds, vegetables and whole grains also provide fibre to the body. Other considerations If you limit your intake to fruits, you may not get enough calories required for producing the required amount of energy. Consuming calories less than 1100 per day can lead to lot of side-effects such as intolerance to cold, gallstones, hair loss and fatigue. So although fruits taste wonderful and are very tempting, being a fruitarian is not the best thing for your health. Your body needs all the nutrients for carrying out its different activities and hence you should include variety of foods in your diet.  
When the grey matters!Greying of hair happens to all of us at some point in life. Some may get it early and other fortunate ones may get it when they are 50. Premature greying and hair fall is a common problem faced by 70% of females in India these days. What are the causes of greying of hair and what can be done if your hair starts to go grey early? What are the probable causes of grey hair and hair fall? Deficiency of nutrients in diet. Excessive stress. Dandruff. Diseases like thyroid disorders, anemia, and vitiligo. Side effects of certain medication. Hair problems are seen more in women who smoke or drink. Childbirth and menopause are the periods of life when most of the women invariably have hair loss. Hereditary pattern of premature greying. Today's beauty procedures like coloring, bleaching, dyeing, perming, and straightening cause hair problems at a young age. Environmental pollution. Treatment and prevention Have a balanced diet. Ensure proper nutrients reach your body in every meal. If you are anemic, treat it with proper medication. This can be an underlying cause. Have a good sleep. Avoid tension and stress. Apply oil regularly and massage. Drink lots of water. Avoid exposure to chemicals. What can be done to hide the grey hair? Apply amla oil to your hair to make it healthy. Apply henna, lemon juice, fenugreek seeds paste, made in an iron container, on your hair to give them a color and reduce greying. Boil gooseberry pieces in coconut oil. When they turn black apply it on the hair. If you have 45-50% grey hair then you can use a permanent hair color.
Diabetes paves the way to cancer!Diabetes mellitus is common across the world. So common, that people don't take it seriously. It appears relatively benign on a day-to-day basis. It is just a sugar level that you notice on the outward. Controlling diabetes means a change in the lifestyle. It is easy to pop in some pills to battle a disease. The difficulty lies in making long-term changes in our daily routine. We tend to get lazy and make excuses for not being able to follow a discipline in lifestyle. This happens more so with diabetes because we do not see an apparent damage that is being done by the high blood sugar. Unless the levels go really high or drop very low, there are no major symptoms that affect our activities from morning to evening. What we are unaware of is that the disease is making some serious damage insidiously. It affects multiple organs and processes. These effects cannot be directly noticed but are continuously ongoing. By the time we wake up, a lot of injury has already occurred. Here is some more bad news. A large number of scientists in all countries are working day and night to study the course of diabetes and bring new facts to light.  Recent researches have established a new link - cancer. Yes, diabetes increases the risk for breast cancer and colon (intestinal) cancer. A woman who has diabetes, is at 20 times more risk for developing breast cancer. Breast cancer A peculiar association of diabetes and breast cancer has come in the picture in the last few years. Factors contributing to these are many - sedentary lifestyle, overweight, rich food, etc. Another important contributor is hormonal imbalance due to diabetes. As a result of high sugar and high insulin in the body, twofold changes occur in the hormonal cycles which ultimately lead to excess estrogen circulation in blood. This, in turn, may act as a trigger for breast cancer. Breast cancer is relatively easy to diagnose. When detected in early stages, treatment has shown remarkable affects. Colon cancer Cancer of the intestine is one of the most common cancers worldwide. Scientists are still working on finding the exact cause but a clear relationship between diabetes and colon cancer has been proven. Patients suffering from high blood sugar have a higher risk of developing intestinal cancer than those with normal blood sugar. Colon cancer is often seen to be fatal and rate of recurrence is quite high. Worldwide several researches have shown a strong connection between diabetes mellitus and occurrence of breast and colon cancer. Suggestions If you have normal blood sugar levels, please put in your best effort to maintain the same. If you are at risk for diabetes because of significant medical history, take extra care and precaution to prevent or delay the onset of the disease. This can be done by regular and adequate exercise, along with the balanced food options. If you have been diagnosed with diabetes, work on your lifestyle to keep the sugar levels in control. Regular check-ups and frequent monitoring of blood sugar levels are a must. If you are a diabetic, please go for periodical screening of related health conditions. Specific to the topic at hand, please get regular breast examinations. Physician recommended and supervised mammograms and colonoscopies would be extremely helpful. Eyes wide open? Now, will you pay attention to all the restrictions advised by your doctor? Please do. Get that lifestyle which is recommended. Compromise on your work and cravings; focus on exercise and eating healthy. Diabetes is not a killer if managed effectively. Don't let cancer get a hold on you.
Adrenaline rush - Feel it inside!Imagine yourself at a great height, either scaling a dangerous cliff-hanger of a rock face or on a bungee jumping platform. Some of us who have had the pleasure of doing high adventure sports like racing or indulging in perilous activities like giving out an acceptance speech for the first time are well aware of that strange feeling in the solar plexus, the clammy hands and intensely thudding heart, and the rush of blood to the head just as you are about to take the plunge! The heart beats faster than ever, breathing goes rampant, the senses seem to become supercharged, and the fear, the joy, and the excitement meddles with the mind. That’s adrenaline rush! So what do you want to do? Fight? Or flight? Either ways, adrenaline does it for you. Speaking medically, the two small adrenal glands on top of the pair of kidneys release a magic chemical that gives the animals way towards the fight-or-flight response to counter certain high-intensity situations, called adrenaline or epinephrine. The chemical entity is a hormone, a neurotransmitter as well as a medicine and is too complex to explain its behavior. However, when it works the heart pumps out the blood to the excited muscles and all the juices surge up inside the body. There is more to this topic than just the physiological mumbo-jumbo. The hormone acts every day in the normal course of life, but not regularly to the extent when it produces side effects such as shakiness, palpitation, high anxiety, and profuse sweating! Thats kept for special situations like physical threat, excitement, bright lights, noise, and really high temperature – in good or bad ways. Let us surf through some of the rewarding and a few of the nasty situations where the jolting juice takes charge of our body! The Good ones: Countering Stress: In extreme stress conditions like accidents or fracture, the body needs to react fast and is at its highest awareness. Adrenaline keeps the muscles up and kicking to help the victim fight with the stress. High Energy Requirement: In majority of sports, more specifically in contact sports like Rugby, Boxing, Mixed Martial Arts, etc., the player needs to be in his full sense and topmost concentration level. The adrenaline rush runs in the background to keep them at their extreme self. The Push Mode: Often the daily chores aren enough to excite us and we tend to search for some adventure. In such pursuit of excitement, there are times when the road is a dead end or there is only one way forward – the impossible or most difficult one! The hormone pumps the brain both ways with fear and with the push to conquer the fear and proceed. Adventure Sports often sounds fun, but at times when running ahead of a raging bull, or hanging off a cliff, or rafting down the rough waters of a cascade – feels like the heart shall come out and scream!! It is the rush of adrenaline that keeps one ahead of the fear and explore the high-energy fun of winning over it. Life Saving Moments: In cases of life-threatening emergencies such as drug overdose, cardiac arrest, or pulmonary failure, where the heart and lungs suddenly cease to function and the body gets into a shock –– the epinephrine shots are considered as a life-saving medication to bring the patients back to life (only to be used judiciously by a qualified medical practitioner). The important medical use of adrenaline is in treatment of acute anaphylaxis and allergies under medical supervision. The Bad Ones: Disorders of the Adrenal: Tumors and cancers of the adrenal gland can cause hyperactivity of this high-performance hormone affecting the normal functioning of the heart and the blood vessels by increasing heart rate and creating anarchy in the body systems. Over-Stressed Adrenaline Rush: The demand-supply mismatch in the present world scenario requires one to perform at his/her epitome of mental and physical strengths. In that constant urge of performance, the brain and the body is stressed out so intensely that the adrenaline surge symptoms are experienced by the individual even in the absence of threatening situations. Sudden sweating of palms, shortness of breath, pounding heartbeats, or chest pains without a justifiable reason can be a result of constant stress.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
Reasons for skipping sexThe most important satisfaction brick in a marriage's foundation, sex is where we show the greatest trust, most openly express intimacy and make ourselves most vulnerable. It is the most personal and private area of our relationship. It is the one area that separates this relationship from all others. Yet, there are times for both husbands and wives when sex becomes a burden and not a blessing, an inconvenience instead of intimacy, and a job instead of jubilee. Curious as to why people might be skipping sex? This is only a partial list and far from exhaustive. Reasons related to your body: I have a migraine. I have a stomachache. My body is too tired. My breasts are too sore. I am too sleepy. I can't keep my eyes open. I just need to take a little nap first. Okay, but I have a rash. Okay, but I have several weird looking cold sores. Reasons related to your emotions: I am depressed. I am worried. I am sad. Cry Reasons related to your kids: The kids are still up. We might wake up the kids. I just had a baby. This baby is wearing me out. Reasons related to your experts: My therapist said I need to give myself some time. My counselor said I should create some boundaries. I have to see my Gynecologist tomorrow. The Doctor gave me these sleeping pills for stress and I just took one. Reasons related to your spouse: Who was that girl / guy you were talking to on the phone? Sex, Sex, Sex All you ever want is sex! Why can't you just hold me? You should have asked in a more romantic way! Why do you have to use such crude language? Reasons related to your weather: It's just too hot. It's just too cold. It's too humid. Reasons related to your economy: When the economy improves. When the interest rates go down. When inflation goes down Reasons related to your special circumstances: We just got back from vacation! When I lose 20 kgs. Reasons related to your friends: I need to make a call first. My friend said they only do it once a month. Reasons related to your pets: The dog can see us. The cat is on the bed. Reasons related to your finances: Okay, but first we need to talk about the bills. Why did you charge this hotel room on our credit card? Reasons related to your job or boss: I have to get up early tomorrow. I was up all night last night. I had a long day at work today. The boss just gave me a new project and I have a lot of work to do Reasons related to your religion: Doesn't the Bible warn against having too much sex. I am sorry, but I just took a vow. I am giving up sex for Lent. Reasons related to your in-laws: We are in your parent's house. I have not been able to concentrate since your mother Your parents will hear us. Offer an alternative: Can I just take care of you in the shower? Okay, but you have to drive the kids to school in the morning. Use evasive tactics: Sneak in and go to sleep early. Okay, but let's watch this movie first. It's just too late. I'll be there in a minute. (Take an hour) Can we just cuddle? I just need you to hold me. Ask a sensitive question: Did you go to the bank and make our deposit today? Have you seen the kid's report cards? Wait for your spouse to tease you and then say coldly, well, you just lost whatever you were going to get tonight.
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