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Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Ageing gracefully and happilyEverywhere we look there are constant reminders that we are growing old each passing day. There are creams that tell us that will make our wrinkles vanish and make us look younger. There are hair care products dyes that claim to cover our grey hair so that we can look and feel young. Our doctors tell us about how we have to take care of all our body parts to keep several diseases at bay in the old age! It is a rare and difficult attainment to grow old happily and gracefully. Is there anything good about old age? It doesn't seem so, going by the look of things. Here we give you 5 reasons that will make you look forward to old age! Old age is the happiest time in life: You are constantly living life to the fullest when you are young. Survival is your prime priority. You work hard to keep yourself and your family happy and financially stable. Too many responsibilities bog you down. Old age is the time when there is nothing of this sort. You are retired, free from all responsibilities. You have passed the baton to the younger lot. Now is the time to sit back and enjoy. Now is the time to relax and do the thing you always wanted to do. Imagine living with not a care in the world? That is old age for you. Old age is when the brain functions the best: It is a proven fact now. It was believed that we lose more brain cells as we age. Now it has been proven that our cognitive functions peak between the ages of 48 to 60. Old people make the wisest and toughest decisions quickly. People may call them worldly wise. Have you ever given a thought to how all the judges are old men? And how when someone says the word 'wise' the picture formed is usually of an old man with a beard? No more fashion policing: When you are young, there is a lot of stereotyping involved! Going to a board meeting, wear formals? Going for a lunch meeting, wear something that is suitable keeping in mind the place. Are you at a certain position in life? Dress accordingly! So many restrictions! Old age comes with none of this. You can wear what you please and no one will really mind! Only when you actually get to do it will you realize how much f a relief it is! Relationships improve: According to a 2011 study; married oldies are more satisfied and positive about their marriages than young couples are. Arguments involve less anger, and senior spouses show more positive emotions and affection than middle-aged couples. It's not only marriages, however, that benefit in older age. Seniors also seem to be happier with their other social relationships too. They have a smaller but closer circle of friends and gain more benefits from these close, emotional bonds. Old Age makes you feel better on the whole: You have lived life to its fullest, your kids have now flown the coop and you have seen it all. As you age, you start feeling better about things in general. You look at things more positively and make the fullest of every situation presented to you. You live in the moment and are not worried about future repercussions. Old age is a happy place to be. Look forward to aging positively.
Making babies, the best way!Some couples get pregnant easily. But many couples have to wait months before the baby is conceived. There are several factors that affect conception right from fertility to the position during intercourse. Some believe that positions have nothing to do with conceiving a child. This is not true. Some positions are ideal to help the sperm meet the ovum. Let's see what some of these positions are. Missionary position:The best position for getting pregnant fast is the missionary position.Here the man is lying on top of the woman allowing for the deepest possible penetration, making it possible for the sperm to get deposited closest to the cervix. It is also the most common and comfortable position preferred by couples. Raise your hips high: Your hips have a lot to do in helping you get pregnant. Raise your hips high during sex by placing a pillow below you. This helps to expose the female cervix to as much semen as the male can release. Doggy position: Considered to be the most erotic and pleasurable position,this rear-entry position where the man enters the woman from behind is also recommended for increasing the chances of getting pregnant. In this position too, the sperm is deposited closest to the cervix, thereby increasing the chances of conception. Side-by-side: You can also try having intercourse while lying side by side. This position, likewise, causes the most exposure of the cervix to the male sperm. While these positions certainly improve your chances of getting pregnant, there is no guarantee that you will conceive. The most important thing is to enjoy this special time and have fun with your partner. So keep enjoying and keep trying!
10 unhealthy habits in kidsNowadays, parents are too engrossed with their professional lives, and hence are unable to pay enough attention to their kids. Kids may develop unhealthy habits as a result of this neglect. Parents need to take conscious efforts to inculcate good habits in their children. Here is a list of unhealthy habits in kids, which you need to break immediately. Not drinking enough water It is very important for kids to keep their body hydrated in order to keep their skin supple and cool down the body's temperature when it's hot. Water also allows muscles and joints to work better and helps cleaning out toxins from the body through the kidney. Staying hydrated helps keep the memory sharp and the mood stable. Encourage your child to drink water before he/she even feels thirsty. Snacking on junk food Kids relish junk food. Unfortunately, there are endless options when it comes to junk food. This can cause childhood obesity and lowers the energy levels. Junk food cannot meet up the body's requirement for nutrition and vitamins. Hence, children must be encouraged to snack on healthy and tasty food like fruits, whole grain breads, or fruit breads. Missing breakfast School going kids often skip their breakfast in order to reach school in time. Skipping breakfast increases the risk of being overweight. It also leads to a loss of concentration and making bad food choices later in the day. Parents must wake their kids early, so that they have time for a healthy breakfast. Spending too much time sitting Technology has been a boon in some ways. At the same time, it has made us lazy. Watching TV and playing video games seem far more attractive to kids than outdoor games. Kids become less active which leads to various health problems, such as getting obese, becoming lazy, lacking of stamina, losing concentration and good eyesight. Parents should encourage their kids to participate in sports at their school or play various outdoor games with other kids. Not having proper sleep Falling short of sleep should be a big no to kids. Lack of sleep affects the immune system, and also causes loss of concentration, headaches and heart-related problems. Get your kids to sleep around 7-8 hours every night. Overdosing on sugar Kids have particular preference for sweet foods. But added sugar in various desserts and snacks provides a lot of calories and lacks nutritional values. Limit the sweet intake of your child, but don't force them to completely give up on it. Refusing to eat green vegetables Children generally don't like to eat green vegetables. They prefer to have chapati with jam or cheese. But that doesn't fulfill the body's requirement for vitamins and minerals. Try to cook green vegetables in different forms and make it look and taste yummy. Give them various choices of green vegetables cooked in different styles. Nail biting Though nail biting doesn't cause severe health problems, it could result in milder diseases such as diarrhea, cold, viral infections, pin worms, and food poisoning. Keep the nails of your kid clean and try to control their nail biting by explaining to them the ill-effects of nail biting. Not playing outdoor games Not playing outdoors impairs a child's social skills, as well as hampers the development of healthy body. It also causes deficiency of vitamin D. Try to encourage and accompany the kids for playing outdoor games. Eating without washing hands Kids play outside and touch various objects and surfaces, which may have lots of bacteria and germs. When they eat something with the same dirty hands, the bacteria and germs enters their body and may cause food poisoning, viral infections, and stomach aches. Keep a hand sanitizer or good hand wash at home and encourage your child to wash his/her hands before eating anything.
Dehydration: Prevention and curePlaying outside is great for the child's physical as well mental development. But if your child has spent the entire day outside and comes back with fever, diarrhea, or vomiting, and is sweating a lot, then watch out for the signs of dehydration. What is dehydration? Dehydration means abnormal loss of water from the body, especially from illness or physical exertion. Under normal conditions we all lose some body water through sweat, urine, and tears. Kids lose large amount of water and salt from body during fever, diarrhoea, vomiting, or long hours of physical activity or exercise without any water intake. How do I know it is dehydration? If your child has any of the fever, diarrhoea, vomiting or is sweating a lot on hot days then watch for these signs: Sunken eyes Dry or sticky mouth Dark urine or lack of urine output Tiredness, lethargy, irritability or fatigue How can I prevent dehydration? The best way to prevent dehydration is to ensure the child drinks plenty of fluids when they are sick or physically active. Get your kid in the habit of drinking enough water before he/she even feels thirsty.If it is very hot, explain to the kids the benefits of drinking water frequently. If possible, avoid going out in the sun. Give your kids a well-balanced meal to be sure that they are getting all the adequate nutrients. What if my kid gets dehydrated? If the kid is below 1 year, care should be taken to breast feed the baby often. If the dehydration is due to vomiting, feed small amounts frequently for it to absorb in between the vomiting episodes. Give a spoonful of ORS solution every 10 minutes to replace the lost fluids. For kids above 1 year, start with plain water initially when the kid complains of thirst. Later the kids may need drinks containing sugar and electrolytes. Also, the child should be made to rest at home in a cool environment until the lost fluid has been replaced. Once the child is rehydrated, resume to normal routine and diet.
Not very chummy! Menophobia - The fear of periodsMenstruation or periods begin as female reaches puberty. This is the time when there are hormonal changes which occur in the body as nature takes the girl and makes her ready for womanhood. The onset of periods can be distressful with lots of mood swings accompanied by abdominal cramps, bloated feet as the menstrual blood flows. This is also a time when the girl needs to be comforted and educated the most, as it can be truly a terrifying experience. Normally mothers or elder women in the family ensure that they take complete care of the girl in this transition phase. For some women, their initial experience with periods may not have been particularly pleasant, causing them to actually dread those 4 days and this fear can then take the shape of a full blown phobia -Menophobia! The reason could vary. For some the pain factor could be the reason for menophobia, while for others, it could be the memory of embarrassing red stains on the clothes which could set it off. In menophobia, just before the onset of the periods, the person starts getting anticipatory anxiety and the pain which could be normal period pain, is then imagined to be ten times worse. This brings on panic attacks and feeling of utter dread which while is entirely psychological can be utterly distressful and downright crippling. Counseling can help greatly along with pain medication to manage the pain and the fear of this natural phenomenon called periods. In therapy, this is what is iterated. That menstruation is a completely natural process and if there is a fear of menstrual blood then gradually, the woman is encouraged to accept it as a natural body function which plays a major part of her being a woman.
Expression forbidden! - Human emotionsSome people have a perpetual 'bee in their bonnets'! They maintain a demeanor and a mask which is virtually impenetrable. They are generally highly competent and efficient and occupy high positions of authority. They believe in living life set to a routine, and the worst part is that they expect others to adhere to it as well! God help those who have a boss like that, as their immediate liberty is at stake, and unless they are honing to be perfectionists, life is going to be a series of disasters with Captain Ice around! Nothing wrong with perfectionism per se, but when someone is a hard task master then he could well earn himself the epithet of being "a crashing bore," especially if he doesn't allow others to express themselves properly. Take a more intimate scenario - Mr. Bright Harry meets tepid Sally. The sparks fly only on Harry's side with Sally stonewalling his every effort to get to know her mind, body, and soul. A tough ask for poor Harry, as he is yet to touch first base with Sally. Know what? They have been married 5 years and she seems to be fond of him, yet has never as much admitted it to him. Quite frankly, the two could pass off for siblings rather than 'man and wife.' Why are some people such rotten spoilsports, especially where emotions are concerned?  It may well be a natural mindset for some to have an emotional guard up and emote, or have an emotional connect only with certain types of people. Fair enough and good show, we say! After all one can't be wearing one's emotions on a sleeve or you end up been taken advantage of. That's a mask that most 'tough guys with soft centre' wear anyway. Nowadays with the rules being somewhat relaxed with men been given liberty and allowances to display their gentler feminine emotional side, we find men going over the top with the sheer display of emotional expression. One is at sea wondering which one was worse off-the tough, cynical cop look or the "let me weep my heart out for you" kind of contrived emotion. That apart, it is bad enough for us having to contend with a person who has difficulty with expressing himself properly. We don't mean articulation or even well-developed linguistic ability - we mean being able to be spontaneous and congenial and a little forthcoming and nice to be with sort of an emotional person. So, unless someone has a romantic angle towards this guy (there are weirdoes all over the world, who go asking for it!) or girl, he is going to be feared, hated, despised, unloved, and uninvited by everybody. So why do people behave like they are going to be flogged for even attempting a ghost of a smile or a cheerful greeting to a fellow co-worker? Why do some people find it difficult even to open up on a psychiatrist's couch? The Mask The most common reason for Mr. or Ms. Grumpy is that they have probably been emotionally brutalized in their formative years by an authoritative parent and this has caused them to lock themselves up double quick in a shell and throw away the key. Now, that can be tough and extremely painful. It is a prison of their own making through which nobody can see that once bright-n-chirpy personality frozen, much like the curse of the wicked witch in those fairy tales we read. The person is dying to let his emotions out and let people see who he is, but since very little light escapes out due to the tough mask and veneer, that it is an uphill task. Then the sheer anger at not being understood, subconsciously plays havoc and then he gets to be the more demanding boss at work or that sullen wife or lone stranger staring in to nothingness on the park bench. These are the people that have a series of relationship disasters as their defence mechanisms are too solid to be penetrated. Some people may be naturally distant, and for them the finer and higher emotions probably don't register as much as they do in the average person. These guys are cut out for careers ranging from lighthouse keepers to morgue attendants to hangmen, where being emotional has no place. There are still others who swing the other extreme by showing so much of emotion that it is scary for others to take them on. Their emotional side is so overwhelming and demanding that it is actually a clever subterfuge on their part to drive people away as they subconsciously do not want people to get to know their real side. They generally don a mask of humor and good cheer and are great fun to be with. In reality, they are alone and scared and perhaps hurt emotionally. So, they feel safe to display emotions to masses rather than individuals. These people make good evangelists and rock stars as they can safely display and get an emotional discharge without running the risk of a one-on-one emotional exchange where they are afraid they would be hurt. If you encounter such a person who looks askance at you displaying your emotions, then it is better for you to talk things out and maybe put things in perspective. Of course, this all depends on whether you are emotional enough to maybe give someone a chance by understanding what drives them to do the things they do. Let me assure you the ice will thaw if the intention is genuine and well meant.
High heels can walk you to the hospital bedHigh heels make a fashion statement which makes us look tall, elegant and good but they cause injuries on a regular basis. High heel shoes have been luxury item once upon a time; today high heels have made themselves a part of every girl's life thanks to supermodels and stars. You will not find any health warning on shoes but they ought to, as they seriously put you at a high risk of numerous health problems. How are high heels and low back painrelated? High heels significantly affect your natural posture and your spine. The natural arch of spine becomes acute when walking in high heels. This poses high risk to the spine getting injured. This not only wears  and tears intervertebral cushions called discs but cause injury to the nerves too.  High heels put strain on muscles of lower back causing pain after a long day of wearing high heels. Nerve trapping, nerve pain and radiculopathy can result from wearing high heels for a long period. This is exhibited     as tingling, numbnessand pain. Arthritis, nerve pain, hammer toes, ingrown toenails and bunions are all common problems due to high heels. Calf muscle shortens and tightens after prolonged use. Jogging, playing, running with high-heeled shoes can tear and rupture calf muscles. What can you do to prevent damage? Firstly ensure your body is in top shape before you start. There is a much less chance of developing low back pain if you are strong and fit. So do activities like swimming, pilates, circuit class, box-exercise and whatever else thatmakes you feel good. Focus on activities that make the abdominal area strong includingyour deep core muscles. Secondly a regular regime of stretching will prevent a lot of problems occurring. Either get involved in a yoga class or make sure you do 10-15 minutes of stretching every day. Stretch your back, your calves and hamstrings especially. Thirdly get sports massage at leastonce-a-month. This will loosen the tightened structures, realign the spine and lengthen the hamstrings, calves and Achillestendon
Flash the pearliesRemember the lines from the song, Words? Smile an everlasting smile, a smile can bring you near to me.  Well, ideally, you wouldn't want your teeth to be yellow when you flash that smile. So for those who have shades of yellow on their teeth, here's how you can go back to white. It's first important to understand what causes yellowing of the teeth. Eating habits: Carbonated drinks dissolve teeth enamel. Tea, coffee and other caffeinated drink stain the teeth yellow.In addition, alcohol and cigarette smoking too can stain teeth. Tobacco chewing especially produces stains that are difficult to remove.Food rich in artificial sweeteners are harmful for teeth. They not only make the teeth yellow but also produce cavities. Chocolates, pastries, ice-creams and all such sugar-rich foods are sticky. They stick to teeth and have corroding effect on tooth enamel and dentin and cause yellow teeth, decay and toothache. Oral hygiene: Poor hygiene of oral cavity leads to stains and caries. Take good care of your teeth. Brush teeth twice. Floss them and use a mouthwash. Ageing: Gradual loss of enamel and wear and tear lead to yellow teeth. Medicines: Medicines like iron tablets, tetracycline too can lead to yellow teeth. Injury: Trauma to teeth can sometimes lead to yellowing. This is common amongst kids. Preventing yellowing of teeth Maintain a good dental hygiene. Brush twice for atleast 3-4 minutes. But be gentle while brushing teeth. Gargle every time after you eat.This removes the leftover food particles and keeps the teeth clean. Avoid use of local powders or corrosive substances. They damage enamel. Fruits like apple, cucumber, and carrot act like cleansing agents and keep teeth clean. Fruits like sweet lime are rich in vitamin C and help to keep gums and teeth healthy.
12 Surprising pain triggersPain, one word that can send shivers down one's spine and can make one go weak in the knees. Such is the effect of pain, you utter the 1st alphabet of this word everyone dreads and you see how the room full of people will stare at you in horror. Now, pain can be of different types, good pains (No! I am not crazy, there is such a thing as good pain, don't get the gist of it, well the good pain is none other than labor pain) and then there is bad pain. Now, bad pain can be caused by a number of things, say you dropping a paper weight on your foot or eating something super cold (that hurts the teeth so much, you can barely talk) worse, pain from an accidental fall. Now, pains are common with both men as well as women, they both have abdominal pains, headaches, muscle pains, and back pains, but there are some forms of pains which are pretty common with the men folks rather than the women. Let's have a look at what those surprising pain triggers are: Wallet: Yes! You heard that right, according to Dr. Mehmet Oz, wallet is known to be one of the major surprising pain triggers. Having your wallet in your back pocket while driving, can cause chronic back pains, pain in the hips as well as shoulders. Since the wallet is in your back pocket, you sit unevenly, with one butt cheek being lower and one higher due to the wallet. So the solution to this problem is to keep your wallet in the glove box of your car or your bag. Phone: Phone, or any kind of technology gadget, is known to be the other surprising pain trigger. Want to know the pain these little gadgets can inflict? Well, it starts from the neck down. Since you are constantly bending down and hovering over your gadget, it can cause back pain, muscle pain, and headaches. Solution: Use a stand to hold these gadgets, so you wouldn't have to bend down or hover over your gadgets. Another cost effective solution happens to be taking frequent breaks and relieving yourself of the pain. Extra weight: Yes, the other evil, this is the one thing that can cause physical as well as mental anguish. Gaining a few extra kilos or pounds especially in the abdominal section, can cause massive stress to your spine and also cause realignment of your body structure. The only solution to get rid of this pain is to lead an active lifestyle, eat healthy food, and exercise to shed those extra kilos or pounds. Work schedule: If you have a hectic work schedule, chances are you aren't getting any rest, due to which the stress increases. The only way to get rid of this problem is to find a way out of your crazy schedule and have some time to relax and do activities that you like and enjoy, so that the stress that is mounting up on you can be relieved. Perfume: Shocked, aren't you? Well, this is another one of the pain triggers that can wreak havoc on you. Perfumes are known to contain certain fragrances and chemicals that can cause headaches. The only solution is to stop using perfumes that have those chemicals and use a fan at work, so that lingering smell of perfume won't give you a headache. Bad weather: This is another one that causes more pain or mental anguish. Bad weather can cause mood swings and terrible headache. The solution to this problem is taking a painkiller on the day of the bad weather to save you further from the throbbing headache. Bright lights: These can often cause a bad eye soar, not only that, they are also responsible for migraines. The solution is use sunglasses whenever out on the sun. Exercise: This might make you men folks go crazy, but the truth is too much of an exercise can also cause pain. Where, you might ask? Well, how about the muscles or headaches or even back pains for that reason. The solution to this problem is to stop exercising, well not totally, but, you should only exercise for the amount of time prescribed by your trainer or doctor. You don't need to go overboard. Cuts of meats: Yeah, these cuts or cold cuts as they are known, are one of the major reasons of causing headaches and stomach aches. The solution to this problem is to avoid eating raw or frozen foods as much as possible. Skipping Meals: You don't need to be an "Einstein" to figure this one out. Skipping meals, whatsoever the reason maybe, causes the blood sugar levels to drop down to a considerably low level which can cause migraines or severe headaches. The solution to this problem is to eat at regular intervals; this way you won't have headaches and your calories will also remain in check. Smoking: Don't be surprised, smoking has a slew of risks attached to it. Well, to begin with it causes asthma, it causes cancer (ranging from the esophagus to the lung), but it also causes frequent headaches. The only solution to help you get rid of these ailments and pains is to stop smoking. Caffeine: The pain related to caffeine is more mental or psychological than anything else. If you are a person who is addicted to caffeine, chances are you can't live without it. The solution to this problem is slowly and steadily cutting down the amount of caffeine you have. Shocked are you at the kind of things that can cause pain? Well, no need to be! Our body can shock us in ways we can't imagine. So don't be surprised the next time you have any sudden outbursts of pains.
Are long hours of work bad for your sex life?As researchers in 'Occupational Health' indicate that working more than 8 hours a day could seriously shorten your life span by inviting all sorts of ailments like heart disease, sleep deprivation, chronic fatigue syndrome among others, it could very well mean sounding the death knell on your love life! So how does work affect play? The stress that goes with long work hours could certainly lower sex drive leading to feelings of frustration and inadequacy amongst partners. 'Erectile dysfunction' and lack of sexual desire are now on the increase amongst men with high pressure jobs and fancy designations. This in turn adds more strain on the relationship as partners naturally feel spurned due to the general lack of intimacy and sex. There is also the added danger of extra marital affairs as hours away from home can increase the chances of one night stands or casual sex thereby increasing the risk of STDs and sexual guilt which can only spell doom on the home front. So if you are a busy person this is what you can do to keep your bed from crumbling: Take a break now and again from work to call your spouse or partner. This can indicate that though you are busy he/she is foremost on your mind. Do not sacrifice your weekly offs as this is the time that your body, mind and spirit need all the healing that they could possibly get at the hands of your mate. Try and involve your mate as much as possible on what is happening at the work place. This way your contribution at your work place can be appreciated and can lessen the grouse, somewhat, like you are never available and similar other complaints. Preferably keep time for making love. These moments of intimacy are really what makes life worth living and should be given as much prominence as your promotions and annual appraisal. Do not miss out on your meals and exercise routine that ensure that despite hectic work pressures, you can still summon up enough energy to make love. Try a relationship counsellor to help you fine tune your work schedule to your home life.  
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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