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What to eat when you breastfeedAlmost everyone around you will advise you to eat a calorie-rich food that will aid in milk production from your body. But did you know that your body is quite capable of producing enough milk from whatever you eat? Your body has stocked up on all the fats during your pregnancy days itself. You don't really need the extra calorie rich food just to produce milk for your baby. However, how much calories you need cannot be predetermined. Let your body determine your needs. Eat as often as you want, as often as you feel hungry, but remember to eat foods that will give your body the nutrients and not just satiate the hunger. Opt for whole grains, pulses, fresh fruits, legumes, fresh vegetables and nuts. Choose natural drinks like buttermilk, coconut water, and fresh juices. Remember that the foods that you choose must nourish your body with proteins, calcium, and iron other than carbohydrates. Dried fruits and nuts like cashews and almonds and walnuts are the traditional foods given to new moms to enhance breast milk confinement. They are a very rich source of calories and definitely improve the quality and quantity of milk. However, keep a bottle of water or some juice nearby when you breastfeed. The body releases oxytocin when you breastfeed and it makes you thirsty. So, have some refreshing drink before you breastfeed. Most new moms are advised to drink lots of water as it aids in breast milk production. However, breast milk production doesn't really need extra water. It is best to avoid alcohol when you are breastfeeding. The amount of alcohol in blood and breast milk reaches its highest level about 30 minutes after you have a drink and it lowers down only after about four hours. Drinking alcohol is not advised when you breastfeed, however, if you feel like having alcohol, do so after you feed your child. Also, wait for a minimum of four hours before you feed next. Ghee is another item that new moms are encouraged to consume for milk production. However, if you are eating a balanced diet there is no real necessity to eat too much of ghee. Avoid aerated drinks, tea, and coffee while you are breastfeeding. Similarly, junk food and foods that are not cooked at home are best avoided. These types of foods fill you up, but provide no real nourishment. Herbal teas are considered safe drinks during breast feeding. However, consult your doctor before you consume any herbal medicines. Do not forget to take your prescribed supplements of iron, folic acid, and calcium regularly during breastfeeding. Your body also needs more amounts of vitamin C, vitamin B12, zinc, and vitamin A. These, you may obtain by eating foods that are rich in them or your doctor might prescribe supplements. Weight gained during pregnancy may be a concern now and you may want to lose it to regain your pre-pregnancy shape. Remember to lose weight gradually with the help of a balanced diet and moderate exercise. Do not starve yourself. Also heavy exercising may release toxins into the bloodstream and breast milk. Keep in mind that you will gain your original weight back only after your baby has completely weaned off breast milk and has started eating solid foods. Breastfeeding is the best option for your baby. It gives your baby everything that it needs and keeps it free of all diseases. Do not shy away from breast milk, do it the right way! Your body is quite capable of producing breast milk from the well-balanced diet that you eat and there is no real need for a calorie-rich food that new moms are fed.
Breast lumps- myths busted!The rise in the occurrence of breast cancer in women, since past decade or so, has made women, especially in the urban areas, very cautious about lumps in their breasts. Whenever there is a small lump in the breast, the first thought that comes to mind, is may be this is cancerous. However, instead of taxing your brain with worries, it is better to take action and consult your caregiver. Here are some of the myths that are regularly associated with breast lumps and the real facts related to the same. Myth: If there is a breast lump, it must be cancerous Statistics reveal that out of 10 cases of breast lumps in women, only 2 are cancerous. More often, these lumps are due to fibroadenoma or cysts. In many women, lumps are formed during the menstrual cycle and they go away after it ends. It is not simply possible to tell exactly what kind of lump it is, just by feeling through hands. However, it is important to detect the composition of the lump and to do so at the initial stages, so that if it is detected cancerous, early diagnosis and treatment can save your life. Myth: If your mammogram is normal, you are safe and the lumps are not cancerous This is not particularly true. To detect the presence of cancerous cells, you need to get more tests done; an ultrasound, an MRI and also a follow up mammogram, to get a second view of the lump. Doctors also suggest a biopsy to be 100 percent sure of the diagnosis. If the lumps persist but there is no detection, your doctor may ask you to keep doing the tests at frequent intervals, to assess the development. Myth: Malignant breast lumps do not cause any pain Although breast cancer patients do not suffer from much pain, this does not mean that if you do not have pain, the lump is non-cancerous. There are different types of breast cancers; and in some types such as the inflammatory breast cancer, the patient can suffer from warmth, tenderness, redness and swelling, followed by pain in the lumps. Myth: If you get a lump while breastfeeding, it is not cancerous It is true that breastfeeding reduces the chances of development of cancerous cells. But there is still a possibility and hence you should not ignore the formation of lumps. It is advisable to immediately get an ultrasound to confirm the condition of the lump. Myth: Lump in young women cannot be cancerous Women can develop breast cancer at any age. Hence, if you have a breast lump at a young age, or even if your teenage daughter has developed a suspicious lump in her breast, you should always get it checked, at the earliest. Most often, cancer develops in the breast when women are past their menopause period. But this, in no way means, that they cannot get it at younger age. Myth: Only a larger lump can be cancerous, not a smaller one Lumps in the breasts can be of all sizes; and the size, does not determine the presence of cancerous cells. According to breast-imaging specialist at New York's Manhattan Diagnostic Radiology, Melissa Scheer MD, you must immediately see a doctor, whenever you feel the presence of even a tiny lump, because, a small lump too may turn out to be aggressively cancerous. Most often, the lump in the breast is non-cancerous; however, it is advisable to consult your caregiver immediately, once you discover the lump for the first time.
Crossing the smoke screenWhy should someone quit smoking? Smoking is probably the worst sedentary lifestyle habit that we pick up. Quitting smoking changes everything right from the way you feel, taste and smell, your breath smells better and even your cough goes away. Quitting smoking cuts down the risk of cancer, stroke, neuropathy, heart disease and breathing disorders like bronchitis, pneumonia, and emphysema. Not just that, quitting saves money too... just one of the many financial rewards of quitting. Quit Smoking Tips Write down the reasons you want to quit for, and how it will benefit you: for e.g. live longer, feel better, family safety, save money, smell better, find a soul mate easily, etc. You know what's bad about smoking and you know what you'll get by quitting. Read the list daily. Ask for help from your family and friends. Help and support of family and friends without being judgmental helps a lot. You need their support when you become irritable and even irrational while you withdraw from your smoking habit. Set a Deadline. Set a quit date when you will extinguish forever. Prepare a plan. Talk with doctor and take his support and guidance. Exercise. Exercise helps relieve stress and recovers body from damage caused due to cigarettes. Start slow and increase up to 30 to 40 minutes. Begin to breathe. Daily deep breathing for 5-15 minutes will help cleanse the respiratory system and provide more oxygen repairing the damage caused to respiratory system and help cope with withdrawal symptoms. Do not quit abruptly. Cut down on cigarettes gradually. Plan everything about number of cigarettes you will smoke each day till the quit date, reduce the number each day. Buy single cigarette at a time. This helps a great deal to limit smoking. Change brands. This way you won't enjoy smoking as much. Undertake social commitment. Keep your packet of cigarettes with someone else, so that you have to ask for them each time you want to smoke. This way you'll feel guilty about asking and hence smoking; hence lowering the number of times you smoke. Find a mate who is trying to quit. This will boost the morale and keep up the positivity. Try finding a quitting chat room. Learn what triggers desire to smoke - like stress, the end of a meal, arrival at work, entering a bar, etc. Avoid these triggers or if that's impossible, plan alternative ways to deal with the triggers. Now, after you have read this, sit down and write your own list suitable to your personality and way of doing things and create your own plan for quitting.  
Expression forbidden! - Human emotionsSome people have a perpetual 'bee in their bonnets'! They maintain a demeanor and a mask which is virtually impenetrable. They are generally highly competent and efficient and occupy high positions of authority. They believe in living life set to a routine, and the worst part is that they expect others to adhere to it as well! God help those who have a boss like that, as their immediate liberty is at stake, and unless they are honing to be perfectionists, life is going to be a series of disasters with Captain Ice around! Nothing wrong with perfectionism per se, but when someone is a hard task master then he could well earn himself the epithet of being "a crashing bore," especially if he doesn't allow others to express themselves properly. Take a more intimate scenario - Mr. Bright Harry meets tepid Sally. The sparks fly only on Harry's side with Sally stonewalling his every effort to get to know her mind, body, and soul. A tough ask for poor Harry, as he is yet to touch first base with Sally. Know what? They have been married 5 years and she seems to be fond of him, yet has never as much admitted it to him. Quite frankly, the two could pass off for siblings rather than 'man and wife.' Why are some people such rotten spoilsports, especially where emotions are concerned?  It may well be a natural mindset for some to have an emotional guard up and emote, or have an emotional connect only with certain types of people. Fair enough and good show, we say! After all one can't be wearing one's emotions on a sleeve or you end up been taken advantage of. That's a mask that most 'tough guys with soft centre' wear anyway. Nowadays with the rules being somewhat relaxed with men been given liberty and allowances to display their gentler feminine emotional side, we find men going over the top with the sheer display of emotional expression. One is at sea wondering which one was worse off-the tough, cynical cop look or the "let me weep my heart out for you" kind of contrived emotion. That apart, it is bad enough for us having to contend with a person who has difficulty with expressing himself properly. We don't mean articulation or even well-developed linguistic ability - we mean being able to be spontaneous and congenial and a little forthcoming and nice to be with sort of an emotional person. So, unless someone has a romantic angle towards this guy (there are weirdoes all over the world, who go asking for it!) or girl, he is going to be feared, hated, despised, unloved, and uninvited by everybody. So why do people behave like they are going to be flogged for even attempting a ghost of a smile or a cheerful greeting to a fellow co-worker? Why do some people find it difficult even to open up on a psychiatrist's couch? The Mask The most common reason for Mr. or Ms. Grumpy is that they have probably been emotionally brutalized in their formative years by an authoritative parent and this has caused them to lock themselves up double quick in a shell and throw away the key. Now, that can be tough and extremely painful. It is a prison of their own making through which nobody can see that once bright-n-chirpy personality frozen, much like the curse of the wicked witch in those fairy tales we read. The person is dying to let his emotions out and let people see who he is, but since very little light escapes out due to the tough mask and veneer, that it is an uphill task. Then the sheer anger at not being understood, subconsciously plays havoc and then he gets to be the more demanding boss at work or that sullen wife or lone stranger staring in to nothingness on the park bench. These are the people that have a series of relationship disasters as their defence mechanisms are too solid to be penetrated. Some people may be naturally distant, and for them the finer and higher emotions probably don't register as much as they do in the average person. These guys are cut out for careers ranging from lighthouse keepers to morgue attendants to hangmen, where being emotional has no place. There are still others who swing the other extreme by showing so much of emotion that it is scary for others to take them on. Their emotional side is so overwhelming and demanding that it is actually a clever subterfuge on their part to drive people away as they subconsciously do not want people to get to know their real side. They generally don a mask of humor and good cheer and are great fun to be with. In reality, they are alone and scared and perhaps hurt emotionally. So, they feel safe to display emotions to masses rather than individuals. These people make good evangelists and rock stars as they can safely display and get an emotional discharge without running the risk of a one-on-one emotional exchange where they are afraid they would be hurt. If you encounter such a person who looks askance at you displaying your emotions, then it is better for you to talk things out and maybe put things in perspective. Of course, this all depends on whether you are emotional enough to maybe give someone a chance by understanding what drives them to do the things they do. Let me assure you the ice will thaw if the intention is genuine and well meant.
10 Makeup myths bustedMyth 1: You do not need Primers if you have evenly applied foundation and moisturized your skin well. Fact: Primers are basically used to fill your fine lines, reduce the visibility of your pores and keep your foundation looking fresh and radiant, for longer. With age, your skin develops its natural flaws and the use of primers becomes mandatory. For best results, use your primer after moisturizing your facial skin and before applying your foundation. Myth 2: Red Lipstick does not look good on everyone. Fact: Generally, red can look good on everyone. The trick is to find the right shade of red that suits  your particular skin tone. However, to play it safe you may start using red lip colors with blue undertones, as they look good almost on everyone. But remember, learning to apply lipstick the right way, is just as important for the right effect. With just a little patience and practice, you can surely achieve those red hot lips, you've always dreamt of. Myth 3: Foundation should match your cheek, hand, neck or forehead. Fact: Getting the perfect shade of foundation is one of the toughest tasks, while choosing your makeup products. Your facial skin is much lighter than your hands; yet at the same time, it's a tad bit darker on the sides and forehead. Hence, the best way to select a foundation is to check the stripes on your jawline. But, always remember to step out into the natural light while making this crucial decision. Myth 4: You can change the lip-size using lip plumper. Fact: Ok Ladies, a lip plumper will definitely not change the size of your lips. The way they work is that they give your lips a swollen appearance, by stimulating the blood flow and irritating the lips. The main ingredients in a lip plumper are hot pepper, menthol, caffeine and cinnamon which results in the temporary pronounced pout, which soon wears off. Myth 5: Pumping the Mascara eliminates Clumps. Fact: If you pump your mascara tube, you're actually pumping in more air, due to which the mascara solution dries out quickly and allows germs to breed in your mascara. The best way to eliminate clumps is to rotate the brush inside the mascara tube and then wipe it down with a tissue, before application. Myth 6: Never wear an eye shadow matching the color of your eyes. Fact: It is true that if you use contrasting colors, your eyes will pop and look bolder. However, this does not mean that if you have brown eyes, you avoid your favorite brown eye shadow. Myth 7: Choose a concealer that is lighter than the foundation. Fact: Every woman has a different skin tone and depending upon your skin tone, you might need more or less, foundation coverage. So, it is always better to choose a concealer that comes closest to the shade of your foundation. Myth 8: Always choose a foundation that is lighter in color compared to your skin tone. Fact: If you choose a shade of foundation lighter than your skin tone, after a while your face will start showing two different skin shades. Always, test the foundation on your jaw line and if it blends in seamlessly with your skin tone, that's definitely the right shade for you. Myth 9:  Makeup leads to acne. Fact: No research, until date, has conclusively proved that makeup causes acne. Poor hygiene, sleeping with your makeup on, not cleaning your makeup brushes regularly, and using the products beyond their date of expiry is what leads to breakouts on the skin. New products may also cause skin irritation; which is why, it is better to test them on your elbow, before using them directly on your facial skin. Myth 10: Tingling makeup products are perfectly fine. Fact: Makeup products that make your skin tingle are sure to damage your skin and cause injury. It may also lead to bacterial infections and pimples, so you should certainly avoid such products. You should never compromise on the quality of makeup products, or else your skin may have to suffer the side effects.
Beating the weight loss plateauThere comes a stage when you stop losing any weight in spite of strict exercise and diet regimen. This is called as weight loss plateau. When calorie intake is reduced along with exercise, the energy required is obtained from stored fat which eventually leads to weight loss. This rate of weight loss slows down and eventually stops once body reaches its set point of metabolism. This set point varies from person to person. So what can you do next? Here are some easy ways to get the weighing scale budging: Modify diet pattern: Metabolism slows down with lowering calorie intake. To reset metabolism, you need to have an adequate amount of calories. This can be done by including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and proteins in diet. More energy is needed to burn proteins than carbohydrates or fats. Eat within half an hour or hour after exercising. Add proteins and carbohydrates to diet. Sip water: Increase total water intake in a day. Drink water before, during and after exercise and throughout the day. Change the workout: Change the exercises you do daily. Muscles get accustomed to a routine workout. Switching exercises and continually challenging helps burn more fat and build lean tissue. Change the type and time or duration of exercise. Try cycling instead of running if you have been doing it for long. Running, swimming, dancing, and Pilates too are good options. Skipping and brisk walking help in burning calories too and break the plateau. In the gym, change the exercise or number of repetitions. If you have been working on machines for long, try weight training or floor exercises. Take rest: Adequate rest is essential for the body to rejuvenate. Muscles, tendons, and ligaments get slight internal and external injuries which can be healed by rest. Proper rest helps repair and regenerate the tissue and makes them strong. Make these changes and get the needle on that weighing scale to budge.
10 simple ways to get rid of hiccupsHiccups are simply a sudden involuntary contraction of the diaphragm. Diaphragm is the muscle on which the lungs rest and it is above the stomach. The contractions happen several times within a minute and goes on for several minutes. Every contraction is followed by the sound 'hic'. And hence the name - hiccups. Sometimes hiccups can occur in the most awkward situations - just before an important interview, just as you lie down on the bed to sleep, or even during a meeting. Hiccups in difficult situation can be a big problem. Some simple tricks could help you get rid of them. It helps to know different techniques you can use to stop hiccups, for only one may not always work. Hold your breath: Inhale deep and long, and then hold on to the breath. This may help the diaphragm to relax and hiccups will stop. Drink warm water: Take about ten or more big gulps of water, with quick swallowing. This will help the irritation of diaphragm to go away. Close your ears: Use a thick small roll of cotton or use your fingers to plug your ears and close it. Do this for about 30 seconds. Alternatively, you can also firmly press upon the soft tissue of the ears from behind, next to the ear lobes. This helps to relax a nerve which then relaxes the diaphragm. Take your tongue out: Pull out your tongue, as out as you can and keep it that way for a few seconds. This helps in better breathing, relaxing any spasms that may be causing the hiccups. Breathe with mouth covered: Press both your palms over your mouth to close it and continue breathing only through the nose. This intends to create a discomfort that will cause some distraction for the nerves and the hiccups will stop. Breathe in a paper bag: Breathe deeply into a paper bag. Do not cover your whole face with the paper bag, just the nose and mouth. Hug yourself: Pull your knees up, close to the chest and wrap your arms around. Hug yourself tight for a couple of minutes. The pressure also helps to relax the diaphragm. Have some sugar: Have a spoonful of plain grainy sugar and keep it in the mouth. Swallow slowly. Lemon at your service: Pick a piece of lemon, put it in your mouth, and let it be there. Do not chew; just suck it slowly for a few minutes. This will also help the hiccups go away. Just wait:  Nine out of ten times, the hiccups will go away on their own, after giving you a little trouble, of course. If you are not too uncomfortable with hiccups, be patient and give them a few minutes. Most likely, they will pass off as spontaneously as they had come. "I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends." - Bill Watterson
Treating sore throatTest and diagnosisPatients with sore throat are examined by ENT specialists. At first, the doctor performs a local examination of throat. Clinical examination usually guides the doctor towards diagnosis. Although in order to confirm the diagnosis, the doctor may ask for culture and sensitivity test of the throat swab. Treatment Home remedies: Mild cases of sore throat are usually cured by home remedies. Following remedial measures can be adopted at home: Warm saline gargle – Gargle with warm saline water helps to relieve the discomfort and irritation of the throat. Half to one teaspoonful of salt is added to one full glass of warm water and the patient is advised to gargle. This process may be repeated 3 to 4 times a day to have a soothing effect on throat. Additionally, smoking and use of other tobacco products must be avoided. The patient must drink adequate amount of fluids. Warm liquid and semi-solid food must be consumed to provide a soothing effect on the throat. Cough lozenges to help relieve irritation and pain in the throat. Seeking advice of the doctor: If the signs and symptoms persist and are not adequately controlled by home remedies, the patient must seek advice of a specialist doctor. Viral infections usually do not require treatment. They are usually cured in 5 to 7 days. Bacterial infections require treatment as per the advice of a specialist doctor. Bacterial infections may require treatment by antibiotics. The treating doctor selects an antibiotic which is suitable for the patient depending on factors such as the age of the patient, report of the culture and sensitivity of throat swab, previous drug history of the patient, etc. Antibiotics usually effective in bacterial infection with sore throat are from the group of penicillins, cephalosporins, and macrolides. PreventionViral and bacterial infections are contagious. Good hygienic lifestyle and habits help prevent infections. Following things to be noted are: Frequent and thorough hand washes before consumption of food, after using toilet, and after sneezing and coughing. Use of a hand sanitizer during consumption of food outside home. Avoid sharing food and drinks from same glasses and utensils. Use a tissue paper or handkerchief while sneezing and coughing. Avoid close contact with patients with sore throat. If sore throat develops, few home remedies may prove to be curative. If sore throat persists, advice of a specialist doctor must be sought.
Your questions about contraception, answeredFew couples want to have babies as soon as they are married. Most want to enjoy their sex life without having to worry about conceiving a child in the process. If you are in this group, then here are answers to the most commonly asked questions about contraception. What is contraception? Contraceptionis use of various methods to control and prevent the pregnancy. It allows you to choose when you want to have a baby. What are the various methods of contraception? There are two main methods. Temporary contraception: Caps, combined pills, male condoms, female condoms, contraceptive implant, contraceptive injection, contraceptive patch, diaphragms, intrauterine device (IUD), intrauterine system (IUS), natural family planning, progesteron-only pill, vaginal ring. Permanent contraception: Female sterilisation(tubectomy), Male sterilisation (vasectomy). No contraceptive is 100% reliable and some can have side effects. Find out about all the methods listed here, so you can decide which method is right for you. How soon can I conceiveafter stopping the birth control pills? It is difficult to predict exactly how long it will take for a woman to start ovulating again. Some women are fertile as soon as the pills are stopped and others might take couple of months. Once the periods return and are normalised with normal ovulation, you can conceive a child. What if my period doesn't resume after I stop taking oral contraception pills? If you don't get your periods for several months, you may have what's known as post pill amenorrhea. The pill prevents your body from making hormones involved in ovulation and menstruation. When you stop taking the pill, it can take some time for your body to return to normal production of these hormones. Normally, periods should start again within three months of stopping the pill. But some women, especially those who took the pill to regulate their menstrual cycles, may not have periods for many months. If you don't have a period within three months, take a pregnancy test to make sure you're not pregnant, and then see your doctor.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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