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Aging milestonesChanges in old age depends on attitude as much as person to person. In young old age some changes begin to take place in a person’s appearance. Wrinkles, warts, age spots begin to form on the body. Hair begins to thin or becomes grey and even height lessens because the bone density decreases. While in ‘old‘ old age these changes are already permanent. Men might look distinguished if in good health, but women all look grandmotherly. In ‘young’ old age, cells begin to decay and muscle mass declines and immunity is no longer as strong as it used to be. People lose energy as the age progresses.  ‘Old’ old age brings in a lot of physical decline, profound changes in appearance and motor abilities, as also in sensation. Skin gets less elastic and becomes thin and blood vessels can break under the skin. The senses also begin to become dull. Eye lenses get affected and color perception and reading ability becomes very low. Hearing loss may lead to paranoia and ‘old’ old age people begin to think everyone is plotting against them because they can’t hear properly about what others are saying. Sense of smell also declines, but the taste remains almost intact. In ‘young’ old age, reflexes also slow down and so do the motor abilities. By the time they reach ‘old‘ old age most adults find that their response time has become quite reduced. This can be seen most in driving situations where it is difficult for ‘old‘ old aged adults to operate their vehicles as they have poor spontaneous responses. The ‘young’ old adults do not lose as much of their motor abilities as the ‘old‘ old adults, especially when holding small things like needles and pins. Of course, there are changes in sexuality and there may be a decline in the ability to have sex as men may not have an erection and women become dry due to lack of female hormones. Cognitive decline in 40% to 60% of older adults can be arrested with remedial training. Despite all the changes, most people even in their 70s remain comparatively active if they do not suffer any illness. Mental, physical, and social activity is necessary to maintain the quality of life. Old people begin to withdraw from work and other important roles and allow the younger people to take over. They are a lot happier as is also advised in Vedic literature as vridhashram. While activities are important, disengagement is equally important. Memory loss becomes aggravated and other cognitive abilities begin to decline and there are many ‘old‘ old adults who get Alzheimer’s and lose the ability to look after themselves. Old people also dwell on questions of death and sometimes go through a phase of denial and then anger that they have so little time left. Acceptance of death comes, but after a struggle and the idea of losing the family saddens them. Old people require support in their declining years as they begin to lose their faculties.
Pregnancy myths bustedChances of getting pregnant each month gets increased by 50% in the women of the age of early 20's: This not right, for a women to get pregnant is not easy. When a woman is below 25 the chances of hitting baby bingo are only 20 to 25 %, while the women above 35 years of age the chances are 15%.   The baby's gender could be understood by the shape and size of the belly. It is believed that woman carrying a girl has high belly: False again. The shape of belly depends on original shape of the abdomen, amount and the distribution of the fat, strength of the abdominal muscles, the number of babies conceived and the position of the baby... but in no way possible can the shape or size of a belly give away the sex of the baby inside.   The best fertility lubricant to be used for conceiving is saliva: This is totally wrong, actually saliva is the sperm killer, most of the lubricants and massage oil are also not good for fertility, so it is better to go without using any lubricant.   Sperm production is impaired by laptops: This is true. Heat is not good for male fertility when laptops are used on laps they may generate heat and affect the fertility. So it is good to use the laptops as desktops.   The conceiving period of most of the couples is 3 months: This is not right, most of the couples take about 6 - 12 months of active efforts to conceive if they are not having any fertility problems.   There are more chances of conceiving, if you do more sex on the fertile days: This is true, the man having normal sperm count to have sex during her partners fertile days is good for conception. Having everyday sex was suggested in earlier days but anything which is done in excess is always more.   The egg can be fertilized within two days after it is released: This not true, an egg has the shelf life of only 12 to 24 hour, and the sperm have to meet with egg within that time, though it has the shelf life of 3 days or more.   Position during conception matters: This is not true, the sperms which are healthy are good swimmers, they can make you pregnant in any condition.   Eating oysters is good for getting pregnant: This is true, oysters are the good source of zinc, which is the most fertile mineral, it is also a good booster for libido, it can be used by both sexes.   Having cough medicine is good for getting pregnant: This is true, cough expectorants loosens up the cervical mucus as it does with the mucus in the chest, and the looser cervical mucus gives the sperm an easier and faster way to get pregnant. But some cough medicines contains an antihistamine that dries up all the mucus, which makes for a difficult swim for the sperms.   The sex of the baby is known by the glow on the face of the mother: This is not true, as the morning sickness of the mother is stopped, she starts eating well, the blood circulation also improves and in general the mother feels good, which gives the glow on the face. There is no relation between the glow on face and delivery of a baby.   The baby having lots of hair causes heartburn to their mother: Completely false, heartburn is the common complaint of the mother during pregnancy, this is due to reflux in oesophagus, in this the food particles come up through the food pipe and due to its acidic nature it causes heart burn. There is no relation between baby having lots of hair and heartburn.   The food intake of the pregnant woman should be doubled, for baby and the mother: This is not true, the pregnant woman, should take a balanced nutritious diets containing ample of proteins, vitamins, and minerals, small meals should eaten for every two hours rather than eating only 3 times the bulky meals.   Labor can be induced having sex during pregnancy: Not true, if the woman is physically fit during pregnancy can have sex as advised by the doctor only the position during sex should be taken care of, it should not cause discomfort to the woman.   Regular breastfeeding is a barrier for getting pregnant: Again a myth, the women can get pregnant even in the lactational ammenorrhea before the first menstrual cycle. You should always use contraception to avoid pregnancy.   Using computer during pregnancy can harm baby: This is not true, there may be backache if you continuously work for a long time on computer, but there is no direct effect of computer on the baby.   Source: What to Expect Before You're Expecting
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
10 unhealthy habits in kidsNowadays, parents are too engrossed with their professional lives, and hence are unable to pay enough attention to their kids. Kids may develop unhealthy habits as a result of this neglect. Parents need to take conscious efforts to inculcate good habits in their children. Here is a list of unhealthy habits in kids, which you need to break immediately. Not drinking enough water It is very important for kids to keep their body hydrated in order to keep their skin supple and cool down the body's temperature when it's hot. Water also allows muscles and joints to work better and helps cleaning out toxins from the body through the kidney. Staying hydrated helps keep the memory sharp and the mood stable. Encourage your child to drink water before he/she even feels thirsty. Snacking on junk food Kids relish junk food. Unfortunately, there are endless options when it comes to junk food. This can cause childhood obesity and lowers the energy levels. Junk food cannot meet up the body's requirement for nutrition and vitamins. Hence, children must be encouraged to snack on healthy and tasty food like fruits, whole grain breads, or fruit breads. Missing breakfast School going kids often skip their breakfast in order to reach school in time. Skipping breakfast increases the risk of being overweight. It also leads to a loss of concentration and making bad food choices later in the day. Parents must wake their kids early, so that they have time for a healthy breakfast. Spending too much time sitting Technology has been a boon in some ways. At the same time, it has made us lazy. Watching TV and playing video games seem far more attractive to kids than outdoor games. Kids become less active which leads to various health problems, such as getting obese, becoming lazy, lacking of stamina, losing concentration and good eyesight. Parents should encourage their kids to participate in sports at their school or play various outdoor games with other kids. Not having proper sleep Falling short of sleep should be a big no to kids. Lack of sleep affects the immune system, and also causes loss of concentration, headaches and heart-related problems. Get your kids to sleep around 7-8 hours every night. Overdosing on sugar Kids have particular preference for sweet foods. But added sugar in various desserts and snacks provides a lot of calories and lacks nutritional values. Limit the sweet intake of your child, but don't force them to completely give up on it. Refusing to eat green vegetables Children generally don't like to eat green vegetables. They prefer to have chapati with jam or cheese. But that doesn't fulfill the body's requirement for vitamins and minerals. Try to cook green vegetables in different forms and make it look and taste yummy. Give them various choices of green vegetables cooked in different styles. Nail biting Though nail biting doesn't cause severe health problems, it could result in milder diseases such as diarrhea, cold, viral infections, pin worms, and food poisoning. Keep the nails of your kid clean and try to control their nail biting by explaining to them the ill-effects of nail biting. Not playing outdoor games Not playing outdoors impairs a child's social skills, as well as hampers the development of healthy body. It also causes deficiency of vitamin D. Try to encourage and accompany the kids for playing outdoor games. Eating without washing hands Kids play outside and touch various objects and surfaces, which may have lots of bacteria and germs. When they eat something with the same dirty hands, the bacteria and germs enters their body and may cause food poisoning, viral infections, and stomach aches. Keep a hand sanitizer or good hand wash at home and encourage your child to wash his/her hands before eating anything.
Crave for non-food substances to put in your mouth? Go ahead take your pica!We all have strong cravings in some form or the other, especially for food. Just thinking of a chocolate cake or ice cream can set the mouth watering and the hand creeping to open the refrigerator. However, some people have an unusual craving and it is to consume non-food items. Everyone knows that children are known to eat chalk, dirt or lick walls but at times, even adults have this unusual craving for non-food items. This condition is termed as 'Pica'. One can understand a child popping something into its mouth as it's discriminatory skills are not developed, but what about fully grown adults who have this habit? Is it a mental ailment? One can't really call it a full blown mental condition as it occurs commonly in pregnant women. The cravings are as strong as any other food craving and sometimes these people go out of the way to satiate their cravings. So, right from paint thinner, to chalk to ink, ice, plaster, paint, linoleum to plastic bits can form the obsession or craving. Pica is a combination of psychological and biochemical processes and is generally a deficiency which sets about these intense cravings.  When pica strikes pregnant women, then it could be a cause for much concern and the doctor should be kept informed. While it is easier to indulge a pregnant woman's ice cream cravings if she also develops a thing for iron fillings on top of her ice cream, then obviously it can be a rather dangerous thing to do. Ice and chalk are comparatively harmless and other than affecting the teeth and the taste, do nothing much else, but what about turpentine and toxic materials? They can definitely interfere with the body's digestive processes and can even spread harmful toxins in the body to cause blood poisoning, intestinal infections, bowel blockages and lead poisoning or arsenic poisoning.  If you have such strong non-food cravings then before you give in to them talk about it to a medical practitioner. It could well be an iron deficiency or perhaps even anemia which is attracting you to chew pencils up or making you pop dirt in your mouth. If you are pregnant then certainly the doctor will need to address the underlying issue and ensure that the pica goes away before you deliver. Wouldn't want you chewing up the baby's soother now would we?
Crossing the smoke screenWhy should someone quit smoking? Smoking is probably the worst sedentary lifestyle habit that we pick up. Quitting smoking changes everything right from the way you feel, taste and smell, your breath smells better and even your cough goes away. Quitting smoking cuts down the risk of cancer, stroke, neuropathy, heart disease and breathing disorders like bronchitis, pneumonia, and emphysema. Not just that, quitting saves money too... just one of the many financial rewards of quitting. Quit Smoking Tips Write down the reasons you want to quit for, and how it will benefit you: for e.g. live longer, feel better, family safety, save money, smell better, find a soul mate easily, etc. You know what's bad about smoking and you know what you'll get by quitting. Read the list daily. Ask for help from your family and friends. Help and support of family and friends without being judgmental helps a lot. You need their support when you become irritable and even irrational while you withdraw from your smoking habit. Set a Deadline. Set a quit date when you will extinguish forever. Prepare a plan. Talk with doctor and take his support and guidance. Exercise. Exercise helps relieve stress and recovers body from damage caused due to cigarettes. Start slow and increase up to 30 to 40 minutes. Begin to breathe. Daily deep breathing for 5-15 minutes will help cleanse the respiratory system and provide more oxygen repairing the damage caused to respiratory system and help cope with withdrawal symptoms. Do not quit abruptly. Cut down on cigarettes gradually. Plan everything about number of cigarettes you will smoke each day till the quit date, reduce the number each day. Buy single cigarette at a time. This helps a great deal to limit smoking. Change brands. This way you won't enjoy smoking as much. Undertake social commitment. Keep your packet of cigarettes with someone else, so that you have to ask for them each time you want to smoke. This way you'll feel guilty about asking and hence smoking; hence lowering the number of times you smoke. Find a mate who is trying to quit. This will boost the morale and keep up the positivity. Try finding a quitting chat room. Learn what triggers desire to smoke - like stress, the end of a meal, arrival at work, entering a bar, etc. Avoid these triggers or if that's impossible, plan alternative ways to deal with the triggers. Now, after you have read this, sit down and write your own list suitable to your personality and way of doing things and create your own plan for quitting.  
Sunburn: Overview and treatmentSunburns could also be accompanied by allergic responses to medicines, exposure to sun and sunscreen products, sight-related issues like reduced or complete loss of vision, as well as heatstroke. Over a long period of time, frequent cases of sunburn can result in cold sores, cataracts, skin cancer, and lupus.  The factors which will decide the vulnerability to sunburns are: Type of skin - The type of skin determines the vulnerability and intensity of the sunburn. The most vulnerable groups are those with freckled and fair skin as well with blonde or red hair. Regardless of the color of the skin, all skin types are vulnerable to skin cancer and proper sun protection must be used during times of sun exposure. Season - Summer days carry with them a higher probability of burning the skin. UV Index - This refers to the forecast of the strength of UV light on a particular day. This will let you know the cautionary measures you need to take in order to avoid skin damage. This is put forward on a scale of 0 to 11+ with 0 being the lowest exposure. Latitude - As you move to locations closer to the equator, the sunlight directly passes through the atmosphere to a greater extent. Age - Those who are younger than 6 years of age and those over 60 years are at a greater risk of getting sunburns. Altitude - As you climb higher and higher, the chances of sunburn are also greater since the amount of Earth's atmosphere to keep away the sunlight reduces. Every elevation of approximately 1000 feet, the UV exposure is amplified by about 4%. Location - If you are close to reflective surfaces like snow, water, ice, concrete and white sand, rays of the sun which get reflected off these might harm you. Time of the day - The rays of the sun are strongest between 10 in the morning and 4 in the evening. Though, the probability of getting sunburn are lower on cloudy days, it is possible for the UV rays of the sun to pass through the clouds and negatively affect your skin health. Here are the precautionary steps you can take to avoid getting sunburn: Avoid staying in the sun for a long period of time. Make use of sunscreen and choose clothing which cover your skin. In case you are suffering from sunburn, here are ways to treat it: An over-the-counter pain reliever: In order to lower the inflammation and relieve pain, use ibuprofen or aspirin. Anti-inflammatory condiment: Cortisone cream and aloe vera are two primary ways of reducing the inflammation. Cool bath: Take bath for about 10-20 minutes in water of cool temperature (make sure the water is not too cold). This will cut back the pain and irritation in affected area.  Do not use any bath oil, soap or detergent as this might increase the chances of allergic reactions and irritation to the injury. When drying yourself after the bath, do not rub with towel. Cold compressions: Try application of cold and wet compressions on the concerned region for about 20-30 minutes. Adequate hydration: Make sure you drink at least 8-12 glasses of water to help your skin to recover from the sun damage. Moisturizer: Once your skin begins to heal, use a gentle moisturizer without any scent. Blister treatment: In case you have blisters, do not try to pop them. This will lead to infection and marks.However, if you have large blisters which require to be drained, then pop them using a sterilized needle. Follow this by cleaning the area dry with gauze. After applying ointment to the area (Aloe vera or antibiotic ones like bacitracin and polymyxin B), wrap the area loosely using a gauze bandage. Make sure you do not tie it tightly and change the gauze daily to avoid infection. Medical attention: In case you feel nauseous along with fever, rashes and chills, then make a visit to the doctor. The following symptoms also require you to seek medical attention immediately: Pain in eyes with sensitivity to light, dizziness, high thirst without proper urination, painful blisters, and pale/cool skin.
5 tips to reduce your salt intakeSalt is an inevitable part of our food, but added salt has harmful effects on the body. The list of benefits in reducing sodium/salt intake in our diet runs long, ranging from lower blood pressure, in turn leading to reduced risks of heart disease, obesity, and diseases of the kidney. The daily sodium intake of an individual should not exceed 1500-2300 mg per day (a table spoon of salt approximately), and this needs to be maintained in the salt added to our food, including the processed food and drinks we buy. Sodium, an indispensable component of our diet, is consumed in excess by most of us. Follow the tips, as mentioned below, to curb your daily salt intake. Avoid added salt. Do not add salt to already cooked food while eating. Keep a diary and make a list of foods with salt in them that you eat daily. Do not forget to add pickles, spices, papads, salted biscuits, and salted nuts. All of these are highly loaded with salt. Next time you go shopping read the labels. Choose low-salt options-sauces, crackers, khakhra, instead of papad. Make an attempt to eat less canned and processed foods. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables over processed food. Eat less bread. Each bread slice has about 250 mg of sodium. Do not mistake bread to be healthy. Next time, keep this in mind when you go out to eat pizza. Pizza base is like bread. While cooking food, make it a point to add salt only towards the end in the recipe. This way you will need to add lesser salt. Sodium content of some foods Bread (one slice) - 250mg Cheese pizza: 450 - 1200mg Tomato soup: 350 - 1000mg Potato chips: 100 - 150mg
How to communicate with a patient who has a strokeThe first and the most important thing to communicate with the patient, is to give undivided attention. Give attention to his activities, gestures, his facial expressions through which he may try to communicate so his feelings could be understood. Eye contact is also important but the patient having stroke may look at you square in the eyes but he may not respond to your conversation. While communicating with the patient you should always stand in front and tune out all the other sights and sounds in the room. Maintain full silence around the patient in the room, turn down the volume of the television, radio and ask other people in the room to be silent. You may communicate with the patient by making contact by touching the hand, chin, cheek or areas which are not affected by stroke. As the side which is affected by stroke, does not have any sensations. You may communicate with the patient through his family member by telling the family member to communicate with patient by saying, "Look at my face"; through this we can gain the patient's concentration. You should always speak clearly with the patient in a normal soft volume. Express your ideas in simple terms, form simple sentences, do not use complex words. You may repeat the sentences or an important term again. For example to ask if the patient wants tea, repeat the word 'tea'. More complex thoughts can also be similarly conveyed and repeated. You may also use hand gestures with clarification like doing Hello by waving your hand or through your hand action, you may ask questions like, How are you? Are you ok? What do you want? Through this both caregiver and stroke patient can benefit. You may ask your patient to point out whatever he wants or if he needs anything. And gradually he will develop the habit of pointing the daily items like television, newspaper, remote, eyeglasses radio, drapes an uncomfortable foot, the patient can indicate any pain or headache. Through this communication we can make the patient learn, use mechanical lifts to get in and out of the bed, and with the help of the attendant by demonstrating the patient how to use it. Sometimes when the communication does not work, take a break, give it time and try again, do not get frustrated and reassure the patient that yes, he or she can do it. Good communication with the patient is very important as they cannot speak their basic wants and needs clearly. The patients suffered a stroke also have slurred speech. There is a deviation of the angle of mouth. They are mostly bed ridden and could not carry out the routine activities.
Women and impotence- The facts on sexual dysfunction in womenTraditionally when one hears the word 'impotence', one tends to associate it with the male partner. Female impotence is also a reality. Sexual dysfunction in women might infact be more common in women than in men. Read on to know more The sexual response cycle has four stages- excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. A problem arising in any of these phases is called Sexual Dysfunction. It hampers with the pleasures of sexual activity. All in all, a healthy lifestyle is the key to getting rid of several of the causes that may cause sexual dysfunction. Be frank and express your fears to your partner. Talking and establishing a mutual respect and comfort zone helps like nothing else can! Sexual dysfunction affects females as much as it affects men. The causes can be classified as below: Physical causes: Several diseases like diabetes, heart diseases, kidney disorders, liver disorders, neurological disorders, hormonal imbalance, menopause, excessive alcoholism or drug abuse can cause sexual dysfunction. In addition to it, inability to perform or initiate or enjoy sexual activity may happen due to side-effects of certain medications. Past pelvic surgeries are also a cause for sexual dysfunction in women. Psychological causes: The mind has got a definitive effect on the body. Sexual dysfunction is the apt example to explain this. Too much of stress, work pressure, depression are factors that do not allow an individual to perform well in bed. Past sexually traumatic events may also be a cause for sexual dysfunction. Sexual causes: This is the most frequently encountered cause for sexual dysfunction in women. Vaginusmus is the leading cause here. Vaginusmus is a pain that the woman experiences due to the fear of penetration. This causes involuntary contraction of the muscles making it impossible for her to relax. The origins of this fear are due to past painful and traumatic experiences. Dyspareunia is another cause for sexual dysfunction. It is a burning pain that lasts long after the act is over. The severity of the pain is of such a nature that the woman prefers not giving in to the pleasures of sex rather than experiencing pain. Sexual dysfunction is not something to be embarrassed of and certainly not something to be looked upon derogatorily. Sexual dysfunction often leads to frustration and can affect your relations. Speak out and seek help before it is too late. And for the men reading this, be supportive of your partner. She is going through a difficult phase and she needs your love and support along with the right treatment, not your scorn and displeasure. Treatment Options: Sexual dysfunction in women is treatable once the exact cause for the condition is known. Various natural remedies, holistic approaches and psychotherapy have been used with a good measure of success. Additionally, oral medication, hormonal therapy and surgical procedures are also used to treat impotency.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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