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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Leg toning exercises for womenFor those women who will leave 'no stone unturned', here are a few great exercises which work superbly on the legs and whole body. For those who have always wanted a great pair of legs, don't change your jeans brand. Just change your brand of exercise. Here are great leg toning exercises that can make your legs attention grabbers. Well-shaped legs are what every woman desires especially as it signifies 'movement', 'mobility' and 'strength'. When we say legs we mainly mean the thighs, the calves and the feet. To get more precise the quadriceps of the thighs the hamstrings and the hip adductors are the prime targets of most exercises. A complete leg work out would also include the 'Tibialis Anteriors' or the shin muscles. Exercising the legs can be quite a frustrating thing especially if the leg muscles don't show any cosmetic improvement. Here is an exercise regimen which will ensure that you will get those attention-grabbing legs along with the strength, flexibility and tone which you have always desired. The stand This is probably the most undermined exercise of them all since it doesn't involve lugging heavy weights around or running for miles or squatting! It is a foundation exercise for the legs.  Choose your favorite spot on the floor and just stand erect with both feet together and toes pointing forward. Hold the hands straight at the elbows and keep the shoulders square. Tuck the chin in and do not bend your knees. Feel the ground under the feet. Now flex your thigh muscles and keep your feet firmly on the ground. Direct your attention towards the back of your thighs and keep your knees taut. Stand firm for about 3-5 minutes initially and gradually extend to five minutes or more. This exercise is simpler than it actually is as it keeps the thighs taut and firm. The entire leg gets a marvelous stretch and any faulty standing or postural habits create unnecessary tension and uneven hip alignment. The standing pose will be your first step towards trim and well-sculpted legs. The One Leg Extension After you perfect the stand, here is another great leg exerciser - The one leg extension Perform a stand as in the previous exercise for about 30 seconds. Once you get your grounding and feel your foundations beneath the feet, take a deep breath. Now flex your thigh muscles and keep the kneecaps taut without feeling any strain. Bend the left leg at the knee and raise it without bending at the right leg. Now catch hold of the big toe with the left hand and hold the pose for a few breaths. You will initially struggle for balance as you have to keep the other leg straight. Now that you have caught the big toe of the flexed leg gradually straighten the leg out without letting go of your grip. This is a challenging pose especially for the hamstrings, the hip flexors and the calves since the leg muscles are going to be a little tight especially around the hips and the hamstrings. With regular practice, the pain will ease and then you can even try and take the toe towards as high as you can with the aid of your left hand. Repeat with other leg following the same sequence. One Legged Squat The one legged squat is a superior exercise to the two legged variety is that it doesn't require many repetitions as it is quite a strenuous exercise even for advanced exercisers. Stand with the back of a chair within easy reach initially. Extend the right leg out first and squat down to your heel with your left. Once you have reached the end of the squat try not to touch extended leg as there comes the difficult part - getting up to standing position without touching the floor with your hands for support. Raise yourself to standing position and repeat with other leg. You can do about 3-4 sets with the same leg or alternate legs using the back of a chair for hand support as you squat deeply. The single legged squat exercises the gluteus, the knees and the entire hip joint and also gives lower back strength. Initially your knees might hurt so don't try this without support of a chair or a partner. Stop in case of intense pain. Step Training If plain jogging doesn't do the trick for shapely legs for you, try using stadium stairs or any gradient which is at 30 degrees and comprises even steps. Your regular apartment stairwell or even a pedestrian over bridge can do the trick. First set only walk up one step at a time. Second set do alternate stairs. For the third set you can sprint up as fast as you can the entire flight of stairs or halt for exactly ten seconds when tired and start again. You have the option of stopping as many times you wish as long as you start again after ten seconds. This can work up quite a sweat and regular step training works out and touches muscle groups that even normal running or squats cannot reach.
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Anger management for your teenaged daughter - Handling difficult teenage times If one fine day you find your daughter suddenly reacting differently to a particular situation, do not be surprised, especially if she is in her teens. The outburst is beyond her control and she herself is confused by her own behavior, at times. It's important rather than scolding her for her misbehavior, one must wait for her to calm down and then speak to her regarding the incident when she is in a jolly mood. It is impossible to forgive such behavior if it repeats regularly, though. Here are some ways to deal with your daughter if she strays the limits of accepted norm for a behavior. You can seek the help of a counselor and understand why this is happening and solve her queries so that she could handle them better in the future. Why do Teenage Girls Lose Temper?By the time, the girls enter their teens they would have become aware about the social etiquettes, importance of looks, acting in an acceptable manner in social scenarios and creating a 'cool' image about themselves when they are outside their homes. So, even if they are hurt, or are angry at something, they do not let it go public, lest their 'cool' image gets shattered. However, the same anger becomes bottled up and vents itself out when they reach home. It's much like the workplace anger showing up at home. This is the place where they can behave wildly and still expect forgiveness. However, that does not mean that you should let your daughter get away with such kind of madness. After she has cooled down, you need to talk to her to find out what is bothering her or making her behave in such a manner. Probably, she may not accept that she has a problem, but you will have to find a way to reach to the root of the issue. More often girls want to be like someone in their college or peer group. They want to fit into a particular group and being unable to do so makes them nervous and distraught. Teach your daughter to believe in herself. Make her understand that she is a unique person on her own and do not need to convert herself into someone else. It may take consistent effort on your part to imbibe all these things into her mind, but you have to work hard to make her understand. Self-Control is the KeyMany young girls do not know how to solve a particular problem when they are faced with it. Apart from taking her to a good counselor, you can discuss problem solving techniques with her. Ask her to understand the situation first, put a foot backwards, relax, and then find a solution to the problem. This habit will make her probe into the problem in a better way and she will be able to handle similar situations when they occur again. You can ask her to write down the problems that are bothering her and ponder over them. You can assist her initially, but as she matures she will find her own solutions depending on her past experiences. Adolescent girls have sometimes trouble keeping their anger, rage, and fear under control and hence their problems should be handled patiently. Brainstorming SolutionsOnce she has ripped apart every aspect of the problem and has come to a brainstorming solution, advise her to write down the plan of action. For example, if she is disturbed due to a particular teacher who does not seem to like her grades, she may do well seeking help through friends who are better in that subject, or for that matter, a bad remark by someone in a group might unsettle her, thereby venting her anger at home. With restraint on your part, make her understand that anger will only block her process to think or find a solution. If you teach her to find answers for the problems in a calm manner, your teenage daughter will surely learn to control her anger and behave normally as she grows into an adult.
Crave for non-food substances to put in your mouth? Go ahead take your pica!We all have strong cravings in some form or the other, especially for food. Just thinking of a chocolate cake or ice cream can set the mouth watering and the hand creeping to open the refrigerator. However, some people have an unusual craving and it is to consume non-food items. Everyone knows that children are known to eat chalk, dirt or lick walls but at times, even adults have this unusual craving for non-food items. This condition is termed as 'Pica'. One can understand a child popping something into its mouth as it's discriminatory skills are not developed, but what about fully grown adults who have this habit? Is it a mental ailment? One can't really call it a full blown mental condition as it occurs commonly in pregnant women. The cravings are as strong as any other food craving and sometimes these people go out of the way to satiate their cravings. So, right from paint thinner, to chalk to ink, ice, plaster, paint, linoleum to plastic bits can form the obsession or craving. Pica is a combination of psychological and biochemical processes and is generally a deficiency which sets about these intense cravings.  When pica strikes pregnant women, then it could be a cause for much concern and the doctor should be kept informed. While it is easier to indulge a pregnant woman's ice cream cravings if she also develops a thing for iron fillings on top of her ice cream, then obviously it can be a rather dangerous thing to do. Ice and chalk are comparatively harmless and other than affecting the teeth and the taste, do nothing much else, but what about turpentine and toxic materials? They can definitely interfere with the body's digestive processes and can even spread harmful toxins in the body to cause blood poisoning, intestinal infections, bowel blockages and lead poisoning or arsenic poisoning.  If you have such strong non-food cravings then before you give in to them talk about it to a medical practitioner. It could well be an iron deficiency or perhaps even anemia which is attracting you to chew pencils up or making you pop dirt in your mouth. If you are pregnant then certainly the doctor will need to address the underlying issue and ensure that the pica goes away before you deliver. Wouldn't want you chewing up the baby's soother now would we?
Causes and treatment of sleep talkingIt is usually believed that sleep talking is associated with dreaming, but there is no scientific evidence available to support this hypothesis. In few cases, it may be associated with sleep disorders or any other diseases. Sleep terrors and REM sleep behavior disorder (RBD) are two sleep disorders associated with sleep talking. Sleep terrors are associated with frightening scream, kicking, and thrashing. It is commonly seen in children. Awakening becomes difficult during sleep terror. Patients with RBD utter a sudden loud cry, grunt, shout, or act out their dreams, usually violently. Other causative factors of sleep walking are emotional stress, mental health illnesses, substance abuse, fever, and certain medications. Treatment: Evaluation of the patient Patients with sleep talking should be evaluated by a specialist doctor especially if it is seen in adults or associated with violent actions, screaming, or intense fear. If children with sleep talking have disturbed sleep pattern, they should be evaluated by the pediatrician. The doctor asks questions to the parents, roommates, and bed partners about the nature and the extent of sleep talking. There is no definitive treatment available for sleep talking, although the doctor may test to record the sleep pattern of the patient to identify any sleep disorder. This test is known as polysomnogram. Management Sleep talking usually does not require treatment. Avoidance of stress and plenty of sleep at night may help to decrease sleep talking. However if any sleep disorder is identified by polysomnogram, it is treated accordingly by the doctor. If underlying causes like mental illnesses, substance abuse, or medications are identified, they are also managed accordingly. Mental illnesses like depression should be treated with proper counseling and medications. The patients should refrain from alcohol, heavy meals, fatty meals, etc. The patients are advised to follow regular sleep schedule, get adequate amount of sleep, and practice proper sleep hygiene so that severity and frequency of sleep talking is decreased.
10 bedtime beauty essentials! Here are the beauty essentials you need to take into consideration, before you hit the bed: Baby-soft soles :Before you sleep, apply Vaseline on the sole of your feet. This will adequately moisturize your soles and you can wake up to the great opportunity of wearing those heels you have been dying to try out! Healing the puffy eyes : If you are worried about waking up with puffy and tired eyes (even after 6 to 8 hours of sleep), then put on a little eye cream. You can also keep an extra pillow and make sure you sleep on your back. This will allow the fluids around your eyes to drain easily and reduce the puffiness. Trying out wavy hairstyle : Bedtime is the best time to work on your hairstyle. Before you sleep, shower and fashion your hair into the style you want. Apply a styling cream on your hair gradually, after having air-dried it. Now, decide if you would like to put them up in buns or braids. Stylize them into the pattern and wake up to wavy hair! Let your skin breathe : Those who are suffering from dry skin can apply moisturizer. A humidifier is also a great accessory for help in these cases. You can switch on the humidifier before you go to sleep. This will help your skin to retain its moisture through appropriate hydration. Keep aging at bay :Did you know that sleeping on cotton pillowcases can increase the chances of creases and wrinkles on your skin? Prevent wrinkles by using silk or satin bed clothing. This will also reduce hair breaking. Wake up, miss white smiles: If you want to take off the yellows from your teeth, then brush some baking soda and let them stay for about 8 minutes. Afterwards, thoroughly rinse your mouth. Do not perform this beauty tip more than once a week, it will negatively affect the structure of your enamel. Work on your complexion :During the day, sunlight might disable some face creams from working effectively on your complexion. Make the most use of night and apply a face cream containing retinal and vitamin C. Lengthen your lashes : Eye lashes depth and grace to your eyes. You might feel that working on your lashes will require way too much effort. But, much to your surprise, everything your lashes need is contained in a natural ingredient - castor oil. Consisting of Omega-3 fatty acids, which are highly hydrating, they will avoid your lashes from breaking and also strengthen them. Apply castor oil on your lashes before you sleep and watch them grow thick and healthy within a few weeks! Taking care of your hair : Skim leave-in conditioner through your hair in the evening and let them stay on till the morning. This will let them become soft and shiny. You can also use coconut oil as an alternate conditioner. Readying your nails for polish : Depending on the skin type, the nails of certain people become dry. If you are one of them, it would be best to apply a cuticle cream or oil on them before you sleep to wake up to polish-ready nails.
Top 10 tips for weight maintenanceTIP 1: Stay Calm and PlanDon't worry about your weight excessively. This will only result in stress which can be counter-productive to your pursuit. Remember that you have reached the goal you had to and you are strong enough to sustain it. Take one day at a time. Do not think about how you are going to keep it forever. Just focus on the next day. TIP 2: Health JournalKeep a journal where you note down your eating and exercising patterns. Write down what you eat, plan your meals, drink adequate water, and form an exercise regime. Did you know that you can include an activity within your life as a habit by performing it for 21 days? Do these things not because you have to but because they are good for your health. Slowly, they will become a part of who you are. TIP 3: Being Healthy Is A Lifetime DealOne of the greatest mistakes that people do is to think that once they have lost weight, they can return to their early eating habits. Remember that your health is with you for life. Shift your perspective from 'I have to become thin' to 'I have to be healthy.' Once you do this, you will find it easier to stay healthy for the well-being of your body. TIP 4: Be RealisticWhen you are planning your lifestyle, don't take up unrealistic goals. This is one of the reasons why weight-trainers say that the best way to reduce and sustain right weight is to make it 'your life.' Eat right, sleep well, and drink lots of water. These three, if done properly, can help you to have the right body weight. If you have any rules like 'don't eat cake or pastries ever,' 'quit drinking,' then rethink about them. Are you going to be able to never eat sweets? The primary goal is to make a balance, choose the middle path. TIP 5: Get An Idea Of Your Weight-PatternMany people stop weighing their body once they have reached the ideal weight. They think that the scales are only for the fat ones. A person with such a perspective is only looking for slim bodies and not healthy ones. Remember that your weight is not a judgment of your appearance, but a barometer of your health. So do not stop doing the weekly weight checks. Keep a report of your weight every week and check out the causes for any abnormal changes. TIP 6: Accept Your Limitations And Learn From ThemEveryone has their ups and downs. Don't get discouraged and be angry at yourself if you binged on a donut on a cloudy day. Everyone makes mistakes. It is not the end of your weight maintenance. It is simply a blip. Learn from it. Know what the causes are for it and work on making sure you react to the cause differently next time. TIP 7: Thirst And HungerYour body could confuse your thirst for hunger. So, if you are feeling hungry really soon after your previous meal, then start by drinking a glass of water and check if you feel better. If you do not, then it is time for a light healthy snack. TIP 8: Inspire YourselfWeight maintenance is primarily a psychological task. Till the time you were reaching the ideal weight, you learn everything you had to about being healthy. Now, you have to make sure you don't let obstructions stop you from sustaining this healthy lifestyle. So, join other people who are only in the process of maintaining their weight. Become part of the running blub or catch up with a health conscious friend regularly. TIP 9: Mind Over MatterBalance your eating patterns. If you think that you will be going out for lunch, then have a healthy breakfast and cut down on the dinner. You might be craving for a dessert, so you can have salad for the main course and treat your sweet tooth. Talk to yourself about what you are going to eat. Ask yourself if you really want to eat it because you are hungry or are there any other reasons for it. How would you feel about it after you are done eating? TIP 10: Celebrate Your AchievementsLastly, be proud of your weight maintenance program. Celebrate the fact that you worked hard towards making sure you have a healthy body and invite people who were part of your pursuit. Embrace your body and toast to the next year of a healthy lifestyle.
Aids defining cancersIn fact the presence of such aids defining cancers is an indication of advanced AIDS having developed in these patients. However, the reasons for these cancers are unclear. It is possible that since people with AIDS have low immunity, they become more susceptible to these cancers. The double attack of these already complex diseases complicates treatment plans too. Thus, it needs care under experienced doctors who specialize in these diseases. The cancers that define AIDS are: Kaposi's Sarcoma:This is a type of skin cancer. It was usually found usually in people who have received organ transplants. Nowadays it is also most prevalent in homosexual men with HIV/AIDS and is also called epidemic Kaposi's Sarcoma.  It causes lesions to show up in multiple points in the body such as skin, lymph nodes, liver, lungs, spleen and digestive tract. Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma:This is the second most commonly associated cancer with HIV/AIDS. The various sub types of NHL are primary central nervous system lymphoma and primary effusion lymphoma. Approximately 4-10% people with HIV/AIDS develop NHL. Other kinds of cancers are anal cancer, liver cancer, mouth cancer, Hodgkin's lymphoma, testicular cancer, melanoma, throat cancer, colorectal cancer and multiple skin cancers.  Treating Cancer in HIV people: Till anti-HIV medication were not discovered the future for infected people was bleak. They were already sick and their bodies weak even before their cancer treatment were started. Presently the cancer treatment is mixed with anti-HIV drugs. However, depending upon the extent of cancer and the need of AIDS care, variations are made between chemotherapy and other HIV related drugs needed. Treating Kaposi's Sarcoma: Often anti-HIV drugs are enough to treat this cancer. The lesions, which are viral, shrink, as the immune system gets better. Sometimes chemotherapy and radiation may also be needed if the lesions are internal. Treating Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma: AIDS related NHL is fast growing and needs intense chemotherapy treatment. Introduction of highly active anti-retroviral therapy and use of drugs that help the infected body make new blood cells has relieved a major concern for HIV patients where previously due to their low blood cell count, chemotherapy could not be administered to them. But with these advances, acutely monitored chemotherapy treatments can be administered now. Treating Cervical Cancer: In case of women who have a good immune system and invasive cervical cancer can still be treated similarly as non-HIV women. They can even do well in surgeries and other conventional treatments. Discovering Cancer Early: Screening helps discover presence of cancer when no symptoms are evident. However AIDS defining cancers cannot be detected through screening. Thus, close monitoring, regular checkups and a keen lookout for symptoms of these cancers can help discover the ailment if present. Pap tests help discover cervical cancer in women. However, in case of HIV women, these should be undertaken more often. Even as often as 2 tests a year, 6 months apart in the first year of HIV detection. If the tests are clear, they should get Pap tests done regularly once a year henceforth. For other AIDS related cancers, the screening tests are still being devised. Lowering Cancer Risk: HIV ruins the body's immune system making it susceptible to a variety of diseases. Good health practices are a must for those detected with HIV in order to ward off cancer. They should surely not smoke or consume alcohol. Injection drugs and unsafe sexual practices also pose increased threat of cancer. Maintaining balanced diets, physical activity and proper body weight are extremely important and helpful too.
MigraineA Severely painful persistent headache can put anyone in distress. Migraine symptoms vary from person to person. Some people get intimation before the pain begins. It can be sparkling flashes of light, blind spots, or distortions. Some others experience tingling or "pins-and-needles" sensation in hands or face. This is called an aura. The headache begins within 30 minutes of seeing an aura and may last for 4 to 72 hours. Extreme sensitivity to light, noise, smells, nausea and vomiting, loss of appetite and fatigue, numbness, tingling, or weakness are all-common in migraine. There is no permanent solution to migraines. People suffer for years together and keep on taking painkillers for a long time. Pain killer helps only if taken right at the beginning of the headache. Keep a watch on things that trigger the migraine and try to avoid them. Make some lifestyle changes that can help prevent migraines to some extent. Taking good sleep. Lack of sleep can cause migraine. Appropriate hours of sleep as a routine will help to prevent the attacks. Regular meals at fixed time help to prevent migraines in people who get headaches due to hunger or not eating on time. Regular exercises help to rejuvenate the body and prevent migraines along with many other diseases. Stress is another important cause for migraines. Avoid stress. Learning to manage it will keep migraine at bay. Caffeine triggers migraine in many. Avoid caffeine. Reduce it if quitting is not possible. Limiting alcohol will again be very beneficial as alcohol and hangovers can be the cause. Meditation and relaxation therapies may also help prevent migraine headaches.  
Challenges faced by homosexual parentsThe major challenge in front of gay parents is to face society and protect their children from social prejudice and discrimination. Gay people can never have their own children, and hence, often opt for adoption. But, how can a couple, who is discriminated against by society, provide a healthy upbringing to a child? However, in some cases, gay parents are known to have capably given their child, all the love and care and the basic amenities that they need, for a wholesome and proper development. Sexual Orientation and Parenting In the American society, same sex parenting is more common than in other parts of the world. Even then, children of gay parents have to face many more challenges than the children with heterosexual parents. The U.S. Census report of 2000 has reported that around 22 percent gay couples and 33 percent lesbian couples have around 18 children living with them. The trend of adoption amongst gay people has been increasing over the years, despite the overwhelming challenges. According to a report published in June 2012 by the American Psychological Association, no scientific evidence has proven that sexual orientation can affect parenting effectiveness. This means that both lesbian as well as gay parents can indeed provide a healthy and supportive environment for raising their children. Major Challenges The major difference lies in the treatment that the children of gay parents get in society. They have to face discrimination and prejudice from schools, their peers and even within their own families. Gay or lesbian parents on the other hand, face the dilemma of how to explain to their children why they have two mothers, or two fathers. Many people in society, even those with strong educational backgrounds, are of the opinion that being gay or lesbian, is an illness due to which, they are incapable of being adequate parents. There is also a misconception that lesbian women tend to be less motherly than heterosexual women. But no scientific basis has been found to support these beliefs. Although the medical community does not consider homosexuality as a psychological disorder, society continues to have a biased outlook towards gay parents. Are Gay Parents Better than Heterosexual Parents? As of today, nothing can prove that gay partners are not as good parents as their heterosexual counterparts. Moreover, it has been found that people of the same sex divide their workload of raising the child, and hence, the childcare process is more smooth and satisfying. Some studies have even noted that lesbian or gay parents have superior parenting skills. But, again no scientific evidence has proven these observations, yet.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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