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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Tips for the new fatherWhen a baby is born, all the attention is on the mother and the baby. And rightfully so, since the two need all the care in the world. However, the role of the father is very important even at this stage. The new dad has lot of responsibilities on his hand - he has to take care of both mom and the baby without getting annoyed or irritated. Here's how to do your best as husband and dad: Playing an active role in your child's life is vital for his emotional, physical, and cognitive development. Hold your baby as often as possible. By directly caring for your infant, you will learn about the baby's needs, how he communicates, and what comforts him best. Be prepared to feel left out at times. Your wife utilizes most of her energy and attention on the new baby. Be extra supportive and patient. Delivering a baby can be traumatic. Hormones ebb and flow. If there is ever a time to understand and care for your wife, this is it. Dads need to be more supportive and helpful. Share tasks like changing diapers, help around in the house by doing some household work like laundry. Talk to other new fathers about your experience and theirs. Most new parents experience a loss of sexual intimacy. Abstinence during pregnancy, pain, perineal tear, and breastfeeding can inhibit a woman's desire to have sex. Men can feel betrayed if rejected physically and mentally. It is important to talk about your feelings. Choose ways like cuddling, kissing, and holding hands to be physically intimate. One of main roles of a father is that of a protector. There are many ways you need to do this. Safety is one: child-proof your home. Dads now need to take care of driving, diet, and risk taking. Your baby needs you for a long time. Being healthy and happy dad is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kid. Dads need to provide financial protection to the new child. So get a life insurance, car insurance, an emergency fund, and a will. Try your best to spend as much time as possible with your new baby. While work may be your passion, it won't be long before children grown and no longer want to spend time with you. Take advantage of these years. Give the tiny tot gentle hugs. Dads shouldn't be afraid to show affection. Babies need physical contact, and not just from their moms. Snuggle with them, hug them, and kiss them. Read a baby-book to your child. Babies do understand. Sing him a gentle song or play a very soft music. Find out what makes your baby happy. Be good to the mom. Dads should be good and loving to mother of their new baby. Give her some time alone and babysit while she goes out, show affection to her, and give her little surprises. Because when the mom is happy, the baby is happy and the dad will be happy too.  
Menopause and mental health!Menopause is the period in a woman's life when her man claims she is going crazy. It is also the time when her period is on the decline and hormones are in complete disarray. Depression, insomnia, irritability, mood swings and lack of concentration are few symptoms that the lady has to battle with. These symptoms may begin as early as 4 years before the actual menopause and may continue for several years after that! For women, menopause is a significant turning point in their lives. The dropping levels of oestrogen and the resultant physical and mental symptoms can be like a cycle of events, only adding to their woes! Depression: Depression affects every middle-aged woman. An estimated 20% of women have depression at some point during menopause. The peak period for depression is during the perimenopausal years, when the woman is approaching menopause. The reason for this, say experts, is the fact that most women dread menopause. Even though for some it means an end to years of menstrual cramps, for most others it signifies an end to their womanhood. The very idea is sufficient enough to bring on lots of negative thoughts and depression. Not only this, the reason for depression during perimenopausal and menopausal age is the fluctuating hormones. Research shows that the levels of reproductive hormones, specifically oestrogen are responsible for the mental changes. Changes in the sleep pattern: Insomnia is seen in 40 to 50% of women in the menopausal transition phase. Women who spend sleepless nights are more likely than others to show irritability, crankiness, stress and depressive symptoms. Sleep disturbances during menopause have been linked to the decreasing oestrogen levels. Indeed this claim can be held true as several women respond positively to exogenous hormone therapy. One study claims that sleep changes are linked to the Luteinizing Hormone levels, which also results in increased body temperature. Sleep apnea too occurs in the menopausal transition age. This is due to decreased progesterone level, as progesterone plays an important role in respiration. The weight gain that happens during menopause has also been shown to cause sleep apnea. Panic disorder: Panic disorder is commonly seen during the perimenopause stage. Existing disorder may worsen or new disorder may arise. Panic disorder is usually manifested in women who show several physical symptoms of menopause. The panic attacks are usually associated with negative life events, pre-existing medical diseases and decreased daily functionality. Obsessive compulsive disorder: New onset of OCD, worsening of the existing condition or change in the pattern of symptoms is seen during menopause. OCD changes are also observed during pregnancy and during the menstrual changes, suggesting the impact of hormones on symptoms of OCD. Bipolar disorder: Women with bipolar disorder experience an exacerbation of symptoms during the perimenopausal stage. These women are also the ones that are highly likely to experience severe depression in the menopausal phase. Schizophrenia: Schizophrenia usually manifests itself in young adulthood. The rate of new cases decreases gradually thereafter, in both men and women. In women, however, there is a second peak in the 45-50 years age group. This peak is not observed in men. This suggests that oestrogen may play a significant role in triggering schizophrenia or worsening the pre-existing condition.
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
Your child is ready for school... but are you?It was still okay. Just 2-3 hours which you could utilize for other things while your child was away briefly. Now you will have to compete along with teachers, textbooks and homework for your child's attention. Well Mother, we know this is going to be difficult for you, but let's see if we can try and make it any easier. Think of school as an extension of the tender loving care that you provided. The only difference is that the TLC will go towards nurturing and developing his/her brain and help it learn important skills which will help gain a balanced development. At this point your child feels bad and completely unsafe in this new hostile world of teachers and uniforms and what not! If you weaken at this point your child will cop on and then will come the emotional blackmail. So explain the importance of school to your child as it will make the transition easier. It is always good for mothers to accompany their children to school but imagine watching mother walk away and all hell can break loose. So if your child's school has a school bus facility you can walk him to the bus stop and then say your goodbyes there. A lump in the throat at the bus stop is preferable any day than a scene at school with a child holding on to mother for dear life. Do not criticize your child's school or assignments given by them as children can catch on quite quickly and that can be reason enough for them not to concentrate on school activities. Always encourage your child to talk about what he did at school and ask him questions about his friends and teachers. This gives the impression that school is as important as home and gradually even you will reconcile yourself to the fact that school is here to stay.
Dehydration: Prevention and curePlaying outside is great for the child's physical as well mental development. But if your child has spent the entire day outside and comes back with fever, diarrhea, or vomiting, and is sweating a lot, then watch out for the signs of dehydration. What is dehydration? Dehydration means abnormal loss of water from the body, especially from illness or physical exertion. Under normal conditions we all lose some body water through sweat, urine, and tears. Kids lose large amount of water and salt from body during fever, diarrhoea, vomiting, or long hours of physical activity or exercise without any water intake. How do I know it is dehydration? If your child has any of the fever, diarrhoea, vomiting or is sweating a lot on hot days then watch for these signs: Sunken eyes Dry or sticky mouth Dark urine or lack of urine output Tiredness, lethargy, irritability or fatigue How can I prevent dehydration? The best way to prevent dehydration is to ensure the child drinks plenty of fluids when they are sick or physically active. Get your kid in the habit of drinking enough water before he/she even feels thirsty.If it is very hot, explain to the kids the benefits of drinking water frequently. If possible, avoid going out in the sun. Give your kids a well-balanced meal to be sure that they are getting all the adequate nutrients. What if my kid gets dehydrated? If the kid is below 1 year, care should be taken to breast feed the baby often. If the dehydration is due to vomiting, feed small amounts frequently for it to absorb in between the vomiting episodes. Give a spoonful of ORS solution every 10 minutes to replace the lost fluids. For kids above 1 year, start with plain water initially when the kid complains of thirst. Later the kids may need drinks containing sugar and electrolytes. Also, the child should be made to rest at home in a cool environment until the lost fluid has been replaced. Once the child is rehydrated, resume to normal routine and diet.
Mood disordersMood disorder is a category of mental health problems, and it includes all types of depression and bipolar disorder. The cause of mood disorder is not well known. Endorphins in brain are responsible for positive moods. The neurotransmitters regulate endorphins. Depression and other mood disorders are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Life events such as unwanted changes in life may also contribute to a depressed mood. Mood disorders are inherited. Children, adolescents, or adults who have a parent with a mood disorder have a greater chance of also having a mood disorder. Symptoms: Prolonged feeling of sadness Helpless feeling Low self-esteem Intense guilt Suicidal thoughts Loss of interest in daily activities Difficulty with relationships Disturbed sleep Change in appetite or weight Low energy Inability in concentrating Inability to make decisions Frequent physical complaints (i.e., headache, stomach ache, fatigue) Threats of running away from home Hypersensitivity to failure or rejection Irritability Aggressive behaviour Hostility In mood disorders, these feelings appear more intense than what a person may normally feel from time to time. Treatment Psychotherapy: It is focused on changing the individual's distorted views of themselves and the environment around them, working through difficult relationships, and identifying stress triggers in their environment and how to avoid them. Family therapy: Families play a vital supportive role in any treatment process. Antidepressant medications: Medications in combination with psychotherapy has shown to be very effective in the treatment of depression.
5 cardinal sins for the skinWhile cigarettes may not constitute food in the strictest sense, it does have a profound effect on skin complexion, health, color and tone. We eat that we may live, but sometimes we eat way too much and consume stuff that may be extremely hazardous to our health. Since we are talking about skin, here are 5 most hazardous foods for your skin: Grease adds to the crease Since healthy skin is all about healthy blood circulation, any food which is likely to clog up the blood vessels internally is deemed bad for skin tone. Packaged snacks like potato chips may have edible oil written in bold but this contributes significantly to the slowing down of 'collagen and elastin syntheses' which in turn causes the skin to appear aged and all wrinkly. The french fries that we consume as a TV snack can also cause an acne outbreak on the skin and face. Gluten Glutton Gluten is a substance found in wheat and other food grains. We may not even be aware that some of the food grains have gluten as a main constituent. Gluten intolerance can also cause inflammations on the skin in the form of rashes or acne. Bad news is that the pizzas, pastas, cakes and bread that we get off the rack may be heavy in gluten (Surprised that they don't say that on the pack) and that may be the reason for you to lose precious skin tone. So seek gluten free foods, though that might not be the easiest of tasks, but for your skin, it certainly will be worth it. Caffeine - the skin coffin If you are one of those coffee addicts then you may as well write an obituary column lamenting the loss of your skin tone and complexion. It's not without reason that health freaks love bashing coffee beans and caffeine rich beverages, as they are truly hazardous. How? Studies have proven that just 2-3 cups stimulate pituitary-adrenocortical response. Yes, but what does that have to do with your skin? Well this leads to the hormone cortisol to increase in our bodies. Cortisol is known as the stress hormone! So now here's what it does to your skin -it accelerates the ageing process which means wrinkled skin and causes dehydration causing the skin to show an unusual pallor. So before you turn the coffee faucet on think twice. Fad to Black How fad diets are not skin friendly? Some people go on a high protein, low-carb diet which could sound the death knell as far as complexion goes. Dieting depletes calcium levels, which means your bones are going to suffer and what's the point of having skin on bad bone density? Besides low-carb diets can utterly wreck the complexion as the delicate PH balance in the skin is ruined. Some of the meat, poultry and dairy products too can have artificial chemicals injected in them which cause a hormonal imbalance in our bodies leading to skin disasters. Fruits and vegetables have chemicals injected too sometimes! Beware! Cereal Killers Cereal killers are those people who ignore the need of a proper diet for skin health. So anybody who indulges in too much sugar, caffeine and greasy food stuffs is a 'Cereal Killer' A lack of cereals in the diet can literally kill your skin. Cereal foods have high fiber and antioxidants for moisturizing the skin and protecting it from skin damage. For great skin other than cereals which are simply fabulous for keeping skin hydrated and breathing easily, one can eat fruits, olive oil, healthy fats, almonds, tofu, grains, nuts and the good old vitamin B rich products. Ceramides in raw food diets, organic foods, wheat germ and brown rice protect the epidermis of the skin and make it impervious to external attacks and pollutants while maintaining their tone and beauty.
Exercise, a healthy way to deal with hypertensionYou have not exercised for a long time. You took it easy when it came to physical activity. Now that you are diagnosed with high blood pressure, you will do anything to control it. Even exercise! Exercise, weight management, and a healthy diet are important ways to help prevent high blood pressure and lower the blood pressure that is already high. Benefits of exercise for people with hypertension include: Improve blood and oxygen circulation in the body Promotes sound sleep Improves stamina and endurance Keeps heart healthy Reduces stress and promotes mental health Exercise enhances the effectiveness of medication So how much should one exercise? An exercise session of atleast 30 minutes per day is important. Get started Start slowly and increase gradually. Start with 10 to 15 minutes of exercise and increase it, as youget comfortable. Choose exercises you enjoy and will do consistently. Avoid sudden vigorous activities; they can cause injuries and hamper the routine. Warm up Warming up helps the body adjust slowly from rest to exercise. A warm-up will reduce stress on the body muscles, increase heart rate and respiratory rate, and body temperature slowly. It will also decrease soreness of muscles. Best exercises for lowering blood pressure Stretching: It is the best. It relaxes and helps prepare the body and muscles for activity and prevents injury and muscle strain. Stretching regularly will make you flexible and improve motility. Aerobic exercise: This helps to improve circulation to the entire body. It improves heart function. It gives maximum benefits to the heart. They also help to reduce heart rate and blood pressure by improving breathing pattern thus lowering blood pressure. Walking, swimming, jogging, and skipping are all aerobic activities. Do aerobics for at least 30 minutes three times a week. Strengthening exercises: These include exercises that have repeated muscle contractions till the muscles are tired. These include side balance crunch, climbing a rope, and push-ups. Join a gym. Here are some  exercise guidelines for a better exercising routine in the gym:  Schedule a fixed time for exercise. Find a buddy to exercise with you. Select an exercise that you like. Make variations to avoid getting bored. Boredom can make you stop exercising. Start slowly and increase gradually, especially if you do not exercise regularly. You should wait for an hour after eating before you exercise. Ten minutes of warm up and ten minutes of cool down sessions are must Keep a record of daily exercise.
Stay healthy, keep flu at bayKeep the influenza virus away from you by following these simple routines : Wash your hands!Hands are a germ factory. Innumerable things are touched by us through the course of a day and that lends the germs a perfect breeding ground. Hence, it becomes imperative that we clean our hands thoroughly, especially before eating. Always keep a sanitizer handy in case you don have access to water and soap. Even while you wash your hands with soap and water, do not rush with the process. Wash thoroughly at least for 20 seconds. Clean the surfaces!Computer keyboards, tables, pens and pencils, shared stationary are all great places to find the flu virus. Regularly clean these surfaces with an alcohol-based disinfectant that will kill these germs. Exercise!Nothing can be as good as regular physical exercise for maintaining good health. Regular exercising boosts the immunity. This makes you fall ill less often. It also gives you greater resistance against viruses so you will not be affected by them no matter how strong the exposure. Top up on vitamin C!Vitamin C is known to boost your immunity levels. It also increases the resistance against viruses. Eat a lot of citrus fruits like oranges and tomatoes. Amla, that is a rich source of vitamin C, can also be consumed in the form of juice or eaten raw! Chicken soup for the ill-soul!Chicken soup is known to be the most effective against the flu virus. So if you feel you are coming down with a flu fever, rush to the kitchen and fix up some nourishing chicken soup for yourself. Nothing works as effectively as this does. Try poking yourself!The ancient Chinese system of medicine, acupuncture, has been known to treat everything from headaches to nausea to arthritis. Acupuncture experts may prick at particular pressure points with hair like needles to keep flu at bay and to reduce the severity if already infected. Though there is no significant scientific evidence against it, there is absolutely no harm in trying it, if you can tolerate the pain from the needles!. OTC drugs!Over-the-counter medications are available in plenty for flu symptoms. The achy feeling all over the body, the sore throat, and the muscle pain are the worst symptoms of flu. Doctors suggest that you do not over-medicate yourself. Instead of going for multi-drug combinations, doctors advise you go for generic medicines like acetaminophen for fever and a cough suppressant. Garlic pods!These smelly things can be of great use when it comes to prevent a lot of diseases, the flu included. Studies show that people who ate two or three pods of garlic daily had better resistance against the flu virus and fell ill less often. Proactive Probiotics!The strength of your immune system lies in your gut, called gut-associated lymphoid tissue or GALT. Almost 80% of the immunity comes from your gut. To keep the gut healthy, eat a lot of probiotic, pro-GALT foods like yoghurt. Sleep well!Sleep is the most essential component of staying healthy. A well-relaxed body is fitter and stronger and will have better immunity against diseases! Prevention is always the better form of cure. Stay protected and stay healthy.
Sex at 50 for womenAs you age, your reflexes slow down. The passion to love and to be loved is never dying and just because you have grown in age, you should not stop enjoying sex. The body, especially in case of women also undergoes many changes after the menopausal period. Although it may take you more time to become aroused but the desire to have sex is always there. Moreover, with no children and no worry of getting pregnant you can enjoy sex uninterrupted without any tension. Women who continue to remain sexually active after their menopause retain their ability for enjoying normal orgasms. But this does not mean that there is no difference in the enjoyment factor. Several factors can be detrimental in continuing sex activity. However, there are solutions that can help the couple in their fifties still enjoy sex. Better sex can be possible even during the fifties but for this, you should be ready to take some extra efforts and make your body more comfortable for sex. Using lubrication After the menopause, the body of a woman starts producing less female hormone-estrogen. Lower estrogen level leads to physical changes such as less elasticity of vagina, dryness in vagina and so on. Your vagina may also take more time to swell and lubricate; in turn making intercourse painful or uncomfortable. Instead of getting discouraged by such occurrence, you should try to find out a remedy for it. For overcoming the dryness of vagina, you can use different sexual lubricants that are specifically prepared for the older women. You get them in suppositories or gel forms, which you apply liberally to the vaginal area before having sex. There are certain vaginal moisturizers also available in the market that makes vaginal penetration easier by maintaining elasticity and lubrication. Increase the frequency The more often you have sex, the easier it is for you to maintain elasticity and lubrication. So, go for it more often to enjoy it more now. Hormonal therapy treatment If you are suffering from distressing menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, you can opt for hormonal therapy treatment. This will help to relieve the vaginal dryness. Some doctors also suggest local intra-vaginal therapy to avoid discomfort and dryness during penetration. Application of local estrogen into the vagina enhances the blood flow to this area and ensures more sensation and lubrication. Intra-vaginal estrogen treatment This treatment is carried out in three different ways: A small ring of silastic is inserted high inside the vagina and is kept there for three months. This ring release estrogen in right amount to promote optimum vaginal health. A small tablet of estrogen is inserted inside the vagina twice in a week. Conjugated estrogen cream is applied with small applicator twice in a week. So, there are different methods for increasing responsiveness, vaginal lubrication and elasticity that help you enjoy sex better even in your fifties. Overcome awareness about your body The body of women in fifties is saggy and wrinkled. However, if you have a young heart and passion for sex, you should not let the body image spoil your enjoyment. It is your response towards your partner that matters the most as both of you are going to age slowly and get more wrinkles as the age progresses. Like someone said, it's the imperfections and not the perfections that we fall in love with.
Sex after 40Sexual changes in normal aging after 40: Erection takes longer time Require manual stimulation, particularly by partner Erection may subside during foreplay or coitus Decreased frequency of nocturnal erection Pre-ejaculatory fluid decrease or absent Ejaculation less forceful Seminal fluid volume decreases or absent Frequency of desire for sexual release decreases with age. Aged couples learn to cope with their own sexuality. Some are happy with foreplay and self masturbation, others insist on more usually it is the male. Frequency of sexual intercourse between 20-95 years : Sexual intercourse decreases with age as the study shows. Decreased during 5year interval after 34 years Weekly frequency: 30 - 34 years 2.2%; 60 - 64 years 0.7%; 65  - 74 years 0.4%; 75 - 79 years 0.3% Do we need to change this pattern with Viagra? I would say yes - sex can be  joyful till the last days. Nobody needs to be impotent now. Home devices like rubber bands, ribbons are also used to hold the blood back in the penis when the erection is not adequate. Vacuum pump to draw blood into penis with an application of a ring after erection is also found suitable by some. Active intervention by drugs (both allopathy, ayurvedic and unani) have been successfully developed. They may be applied topically (minidoxil), inhaled (amyl nitrate) inserted into the urethral passage, injected into the corpus cavernosa or taken orally (Sildenafil, Tadalafil, etc.). Finally if all fails silastic rods can be implanted in the penis to give permanent erection. The joy of living lasts a life time.
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