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Pamper the newborn without forgetting yourselfIf you are a new mom, chances are you are busy 24/7. The baby's complete dependence on you helps you bond with him/her and makes you aware of the responsibility that is now on you. But, your own health is an equally important responsibility. So, you need to give yourself permission to take care, or even pamper yourself from time to time. Here are simple ways for you to look out for yourself. Eat your favorite breakfast: As your day starts, you need fuel to keep your energy levels high. So, grab your hands on healthy and tasty breakfast options like whole grain cereal, skim milk and sliced strawberries or a banana. The combination of lean protein, whole-grain foods, and nutrient-rich fruit allows the brain to form more feel-good chemicals. Don't let stress come near you: We know that a lot of changes in your life have transpired, due to the entry of a baby in your world. The difficulty to cope with the changes may cause stress and depression. Try to avoid stress by asking for your husband's and relatives' support. Take a walk with your baby: Walking with your baby in nearby parks will give you fresh air and it is an excellent form of exercise. Don't be sleep deprived: Having a baby doesn't mean that you have to always sacrifice your sleep. Never miss an opportunity to sleep or take rest. This will keep your energy levels high for the day. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Delegate baby care: Parenting is not your sole responsibility. Ask your husband to lend a hand in taking care of the baby for some time. Not just the husband, if you live in a joint family, you can ask other relatives for help as well. Don't be a multi-tasking person: We know a woman has so many roles to play. But, it doesn't always have to be that way. Being a new mom, you must focus on one activity at a time. You can prioritize your tasks, if you have a lot of things to do. Exercise regularly: Add exercise to your daily routine. Choose the exercise which you love and enjoy, like walking, cycling, yoga, swimming or aerobic dance. Consult a doctor before starting any exercise program.    
The post-delivery bluesA baby being born is cause for celebration. Especially in a country like India, where the family ties tend to be close, there is a festive atmosphere at home. However, sometimes the mothers may not share the same enthusiasm. This wave of negative emotions in the middle of what is clearly a happy occasion can be confusing for the new mother. Interestingly these feelings are not abnormal, as many new moms face postpartum depression, which is also called baby blues. It is an emotional reaction that begins a few days after delivery and lasts not more than 2 weeks. What are the symptoms of postpartum depression? Feelings of anger or irritability. Lack of interest in the baby. Lack of appetite and sleep disturbance. Crying and sadness. Irritability or hypersensitivity. Feelings of guilt, shame or hopelessness. Loss of interest, joy or pleasure in the things you used to enjoy. Possible thoughts of harming the baby or yourself. What are the causes of postpartum depression? Postpartum depression can occur due to a combination of factors. Hormonal changes: Changes in the level of hormones can leave you feeling tired, sluggish and depressed. Changes in your blood volume, blood pressure, immune system and metabolism can contribute to fatigue and mood swings. Emotional factors: Feeling overwhelmed with the new arrival in the family, and taking care of the baby day and night, may leave you sleep deprived, overexerted, and anxious. New mothers also feel that they look less attractive after pregnancy. You may feel that people around you are concerned with the baby more than you, and that you are being neglected. All these emotional factors may lead to postpartum depression. Other factors: Issues like breast feeding, financial strain, and relationship troubles can also contribute to postpartum depression. How does one deal with postpartum depression? Take complete rest and sleep for sufficient hours Spend quality time with your husband Go for healthy diet Take morning or evening walk for fresh air Try to follow yoga or other exercises Share your feelings with your husband or friends Do not overexert Join some groups for new moms Go for individual therapy or counsellors Remember, postpartum depression is not an incurable problem. It is just a temporary state of mind, which can be overcome if you are sufficiently aware of the problem.                
Are you there for your teenage children?You must be there for your adolescent children so that they know who to turn to when they are confused. Being there does not necessarily mean your physical presence, but even the rules, boundaries, and standards of behavior you might have set should be able to guide them. When the teenager comes under peer pressure, then these rules may help them make the right choices. Teenagers live in fear They are frightened of their teachers, their friends; they are frightened of being mocked at or not being able to cope. They are dealing with a lot of issues, so when they come home, show them you care. They don't need parents screaming and shouting at them about their conduct or studies. The moment they come in, you should greet them with a smile, no matter what your feelings are otherwise. Don't expect your teenage children to be adults because they are still growing. Family is always important Most people think that teenagers no longer need the love, warmth, and support of the family. Your child might be a teenager,not a child to hold hands and show them the way, but they do need your support. A family works like an anchor that can pull back a teenager from being drifted away. Engage them.Speak to them regarding their likes and dislikes, the pressures they feel at studies, among other things. This could help them from the intense emotional turmoil they may be going through. Equation changes As a child you could cuddle your children, scold them, nurture and guide them, but as teenagers the equation might change. You may not cuddle your teenage child, but a warm hug now and then or a pat on the shoulder is enough to let them know that you love them just the same. Listen to them when they share an opinion. They want to prove themselves so follow their advice if it's reasonable so they feel they are an important part of the family and their opinions do matter. Don't treat your teenage children with suspicion.It will drive them away!! Moody If your teenage child is moody and uncommunicative, it does not mean that they don't need their family. It's just that friends might have taken precedence in their lives. Just the feeling that they have your support may encourage them to take their independent decisions. Information It is important to inform your teenage child regarding alcohol, drugs, and sex. However, you must also know they could experiment. So tell them about the dangers, and if they still make a mistake, then be there and do not abandon them. Help them get through the crisis. Teenage behavior Sometimes teenagers can behave erratically. It could be difficult to know if this is teenage moodiness or something more serious. As a parent you need to watch out for this and find out indirectly about what is troubling them. They might not open up immediately, but if you are around when they feel like chatting, they could let you know what is troubling them.
Get the couch potato out to playKids in the modern day are increasingly getting lazier and unfit. Watching TV, playing games on consoles and smartphones, and spending time on social networks is eating into time which would otherwise be spent playing outdoors.The lack of exercise comes with a host of problems, which can affect kids in childhood or later on in life. Therefore, parents must encourage kids to exercise by being an example. However, do keep in mind that there is nothing that will bore a kid than treadmills or lifting weights. Playing sports is often the better way to go. Give aerobics a try Aerobic exercises can help kids to stay fit and also can be fun at the same time. The common perception is that aerobics involve dancing a set pattern. However, aerobics is any exercise that increases your oxygen intake. Outdoor activities can include basketball, cycling, soccer, swimming, tennis, walking or running Along with aerobics, children should also do stretching exercises, which help in improving flexibility, allowing muscles and joints to bend and move easily through their full range of motion. Getting your kids excited It is important, however, to communicate with your child the need to exercise. You could encourage them to take part in outdoor games at school as well as in the locality where you stay. You should regulate the number of hours your kid can spend in front of the TV or PC. This way she will look for means to play outside the house. You can also play with them yourself. It will be fun for the both of you, as well as helps you bond with your child. Exercising for at least an hour a day is ideal, and it broken down into chunks of 15 minutes at a time.  
Boost your self-esteemSimply believe in yourself. Life need to be made lighter. Pulling yourself down over trivial mistakes and not reaching certain standard definitely does not help.  Your self-esteem affects the way you interpret messages from others. It affects relationships, academic achievement, and living life to the fullest. Thus, recognize your true potential in life and work towards it. Those who have a high self-esteem always have an “I think I can” or “I will” attitude! This makes life much happier for them. Ups and downs in life are inevitable, but this should not bring down your self-esteem. One should work towards maintaining a high self-esteem at all times.  You need to have the power to control your self-esteem. It should not suffer from negative messages from others; in fact, negative messages should be viewed as constructive criticism. There are many ways in which self-esteem can be given a boost. Accept yourself and increase your inner stability so that you will not need validation or attention from other people. Meet new people. Follow examples of successful people. Don’t worry about how others might judge you. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Failures may come your way, but they are the best teachers in life. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Make the most with what you are best at, and strengthen your weaknesses. Focus on the positives and practice positive self-talk for encouragement. Avoid doing things just to “go along with the crowd.” Gather courage to express yourselves and ‘stand out’ from the crowd, as every new encounter is a learning experience. Develop a support system of friends. They will give due emotional back-up. Put into place good healthy habits; ensure the right kind of diet. Controlling the mind is essential for a healthy body. A stress-free mind is healthy and calm, which will incorporate positive thoughts. Give credit where the credit is due. Praise others and accept compliments in good spirit. This builds confidence. Keep criticism to a minimum, as it brings about negativity. Appreciate life. Look your best to feel your best. It is important to be well groomed. Improve your personal living space. Perfect your skills and practice your talents. Reward yourself often. It’s nice to pamper yourself once in a while. Stop comparing yourself to others; this will increase your stress levels unnecessarily. Your self-worth should not be based upon what others think of you, but how you feel about yourself. Communicate with others, colleagues, neighbors, family, and friends. Be social. Do something for someone else – a random act of kindness! They fill up the void and bring about a different level of happiness. It is beneficial to spend some time alone by yourself. Review your mistakes and analyze the experiences in your life. This should be carried out as a self-therapy, and not as a habit. Do not become a loner. Everyone is a unique. No one else is like you in the whole wide world. This makes you special already! Everything starts with you and ends with you. Remember, nobody can insult you without your permission!! A low self-esteem gives rise to health problems like depression, loss of interest in life, and stress. It is not difficult to correct this stage which comes in everyone’s life. Learn to rise above these shortcomings and improve your outlook about yourself. Confidence comes from not always being right, but learning to be wrong. - Peter T. McIntyre.
Faking illnesses - An illness in itself?In 2008, a 28 years old woman in the US shared some shocking news with her friends. She had been detected with cancer. She posted updates on social networking sites and wrote blogs on her illness. Sympathy poured in from all corners. Some even sent in monetary help to cover her expenses. The saddest part of the incident though was not her cancer; it was the fact that she had faked it! Police investigations revealed her little trick when no evidences or records were found at the hospitals! Apparently, this isn't a unique case;  faking illnesses or malingering is a very common occurrence. All of us have done it at some point in our lives. While we may have done it to escape a school punishment or to take undue advantage of the office 'sick leaves' for personal purposes, it is usually done on a harmless level. But faking illness can be a chronic disorder too and  medical professionals even have a name for it-; Munchausen's Syndrome. People suffering from this syndrome fake illnesses that they don't actually have, to gain sympathy or simply to be the center of attention. Usually gaining sympathy is the main reason why people fake illnesses. It gives them a chance to be in the spotlight. Everyone calls and visits, expresses concern and fusses over them. Lots of love is showered upon them. Another common reason for faking illnesses, is money and at times, the monetary benefits are higher than the emotional ones. No one hesitates to fulfill the last wish of a dying person, however expensive it may be. Often there are mixed motivations and the person faking an illness has many reasons to keep up the pretense of being sick, for as long as possible. Some people really do have a disease — a mental illness known as a factitious disorder. People with this disorder pretend to have an illness, which is usually a terminal one and often go to great lengths to maintain their hoax. Munchausen syndrome by proxy, is another form of faking illness. People with this disorder, fake illnesses of people under their care; and they usually do this, for monetary benefits. Children are the most common victims in this disease. When you tell someone that your child has cancer, you will receive a great amount of sympathy and all the money you want, no questions asked! People with these disorders are extremely cunning. They go to great extents to maintain their lies. They will build grand stories, complain of fake pains and aches, get admitted to hospitals and undergo a battery of tests, numerous times. Interestingly, they never allow and frequently discourage medical professionals, from talking to any of their family members. Since they know they are faking the illness, they will refuse to undergo treatment, for obvious reasons. . If you think a loved one may be exaggerating or faking their health issues, attempt a gentle conversation, voicing your concerns. Avoid anger, judgment or confrontation, while offering support and care and if possible, help them in finding a treatment. Treatment includes empathy, helping in identifying feelings and issues that led to the development of the disorder and finding  alternative healthy ways to deal with those feelings and issues.
5 Mistakes yoga beginners makeYoga is a science that has been developed by the ancient Indian sages after a lot of research and study. That is why yoga is difficult to master immediately and one needs a lot of practice to achieve every posture or asana in the perfect manner. So, it is very important to learn the yogic techniques from an expert and one must avoid performing yoga on your own, at least in the initial stages to ensure that you do not suffer from any physical injuries by wrongly straining or stretching your muscles during practice. Yoga can benefit you only if you perform the asanas according to right techniques. Hence, you should try to avoid mistakes right from the beginning. Here are the five most common mistakes people make while performing yoga as beginners: Learning How to Breath Inhalation and exhalation, some say is the most important process that you need to control while performing yoga. While trying to achieve certain asanas, you have to hold your breath for a while and because of this, your muscle fibers are deprived of oxygen for that time. And one needs to do this while holding one's body in that particular posture. With less strength in your muscles, there are chances that you may fall down or get injured. Hence, as a beginner, when you do not have proper control over your breath, it is best to inhale in short breaths, instead of going for the full belly breaths. Just as you slowly inhale, remember to exhale slowly as well, so that the rhythm of the yogic posture is not disturbed. Do not push Yourself Too Hard Most of the contemporary exercises are based on the principle of 'more pain, more gain'. These exercises tell you to stretch more and push harder to get the best results from your workout routine. However, in the case of yoga, the opposite holds true. If you push yourself beyond your limits to attain a particular posture in yoga, you might actually end up straining and injuring your muscles instead. . So, when you are doing yoga come what may, do not push yourself beyond your natural limits. Do Not Compare Some people are naturally gifted with super-flexibility, while the rest of us may not achieve it despite practicing yoga for years together. Each of us has a different type of body and hence, you should not try to compete with those who are highly flexible, especially, if you are trying yoga for the first time or after a long time. You must give your body some time to loosen up its rigidness and become flexible enough. Trying to compare your body's abilities with others and forcefully pushing yourself to perform postures, just to match up, will hurt you eventually. Where to Place the Mat? The best place to put the mat is at the back of your yoga class, especially if you are new to yoga. If you keep your mat at the front, you will become more conscious and will never be able to concentrate on the asana. Instead, if you are at the back, you will always have the front row to follow, just in case you miss the instructions by the instructor. Go easy on the Food! Yoga postures can be intense and if you go into class with a full belly, you will, most definitely find it difficult and uncomfortable to perform the asanas. The key is to eat about an hour before and almost half the size of your usual portion; so that you can perform the asanas comfortably and get the exact fuel necessary for performing them.
10 Makeup mishaps and easy ways to avoid themRepercussions of those horrifying blends Astonished? As to why we are staring off with the "after effects" rather than discussing about the problems initially. Well, to understand how to avoid it, we first need to know why to avoid it. Firstly, application of the wrong makeup leads to spoiling your entire look and after that even if you wear any designer collection nothing shall compensate for those miseries. Secondly, applying makeup does not start when you hold that lipstick in your hand or take that brush close, it started way before, when you chose the brand or the type. Understanding your skin type and then choosing the best option is way too important than actually applying the makeup. Thirdly, never be "penny wise and pound foolish" when it comes to your cosmetic brand, as in the pursuit of saving some money, you might end up paying the dermatologist a huge fee for treating tarnished skin. The most awaited party and your make up got totally smudged, nightmarish right? Read on to find ways to avoid it. Keeping the above catastrophic consequences in mind lets know about the 10 makeup mistakes and ways to evade them. How to avoid those 10 makeup mishaps Laying the great  "Foundation" Do you pay all your attention in choosing the matching lipstick and eye shadow and end up paying no heed on the foundation to be applied? If your answer is YES then this is the column you need to stick your eyes to. Wrong foundation type or erroneously mixed foundation can cause more dangerous aftermath than a snow storm. Follow the 3 simple steps to make your foundation always compliment your makeup to the fullest: Chose your foundation color and brand by testing the same on your skin and seeing the texture under good natural lighting. The foundation blend should be always created by adding right amount of water and moisturizer into it to create a suitable mixture. Apply the foundation not only till your face but extend it to your neck and ear area to give a uniform appearance. Blistering of the Blush Have you spent 3 hours to get that right look and 3 minutes in realizing that the makeup was too heavy you stepped out? Well blushes, if not applied in the right amount, will end up making you look too loud for the occasion. The instant solution:  chose a color which compliments your skin tone and apply it under good lighting to know the real effect it has on your skin. Under the dark shadows of the eye shadow Isn't eye makeup your most favorite part of your entire look? Most of the girls will give a big nod to this. Eye makeup can solely make you look like a diva or a devil taking into consideration how you do it. Try to play with colors but do not end up choosing a shade totally different from your eye color and complexion. Chose a shade which compliments your eye color and your outfit. The Mascara Massacre Avoiding dramatic movies and stepping out in the rains is the maximum refuge we take to save our mascara and making us turn into a black-eyed devil. You think there is no way to get rid of this? Then you are wrong for once, as such situations can be avoided just by resisting the application of the mascara on your lower eyelids.  Seal the concealer It may be a magic wand to hide that pimple at the wrong place or those dark circles you got after the late night study sessions but always remember to mix your concealer well with the nearby skin area to give a natural look. Also, create a firm mixture before applying it to avoid lines showing on your face. The eye brow hassles Too less eyebrow hair make you uncomfortable even with good makeup? The solution is simple, move the eyebrow pencil firmly on your eyebrow to give some volume to your eyebrows. Just do not overdo it as it might spoil your entire look. Apply just one or two light streaks of it on the eye brows and you are good to go. Dangerous chronicles of the eyeliner Applying the eyeliner can be a fetish among many women but how to do it and how much is a point to discuss here. Try to apply pencil liners if you are a beginner especially. Dress as per occasion and apply the liner accordingly. Carry wet tissues always and clean up well in case they get grubby.  Lash out those artificial eye lashes Giving volume to your eye lashes can be very beneficial but do you know how much volume is just enough? If no, try to start with very few artificial lashes. Heavy usage of these lashes can make your look go haywire. So start off with less and then move ahead as per requirement.  Right streak of the Lip liner One might always get confused as which lip liner will go well with the lipstick shade you got but always try to chose a lighter liner shade which shall hold your lipstick and give it a neat and tidy appearance. Gloss or Matt-the great dilemma of a Lipstick Do you always sit with just one question before buying the lipstick that should you go with gloss or matt colors, here is the easy answer - chose gloss for informal occasions and ceremonies. Usage of matt can be done for office presentation where you do not have time for instant touch ups. Avoid matt when you are out for weekend parties, as gloss will give you the needed liveliness you need that time. Choose the color which goes well with your skin tone rather than the one matching your dress. Try to experiment and flaunt but do not experiment with anything that might damage your skin.
7 Pains you should not ignoreWhen the body cries out in pain, most of the times, you know what is bringing that pain, and you do what will help relieve the pain. For example, a serious workout may cause sore aching muscles, for which you will rest a day or two, or take a painkiller. What does one do to know why a body part is paining? One needs to sit up and take notice! The pain could be anything, from a heart attack, to an aneurysm, and could cost you your life! Pain in the head: Headaches are the most frequent pains that we suffer from. Headache could be due to a migraine, due to staying too long in the sun, due to a cold, or simply due to working too long without a break. However, in case you have a headache, and are not able to pinpoint to an obvious cause, rush to the emergency room. Headaches with no apparent cause may be due to a brain hemorrhage, a tumor in the brain, or an aneurysm in the brain arteries! Get yourself checked as soon as possible, if you keep getting headaches for no apparent reason. Pain in the jaw: This could be due to a caries ridden tooth. But most often it is due to an impending heart attack. The classical left sided chest pain radiating to the left little finger is not always seen in all cases of heart attacks. Pains to the jaw and the back are reported very frequently. Often, people tend to take the pain in the jaw lightly, and brush it off to a tooth problem. This may be potentially life threatening, as you never know the severity of the attack! Tingling, numbness and burning of the feet: Diabetes mellitus is a silent killer. Peripheral neuropathy is often the first complication of diabetes. Tingling numbness, and burning in the feet may be attributed to wearing tight shoes and to keeping your feet suffocated in socks all day long. Dipping your feet in a tub of cold water will give you a good night's sleep. But do not let it go at that. Get your blood sugar levels checked before it is too late! Pain in the calves: Do you get nightly pain in your calves that get better with putting your feet up? This is due to long standing hours at workplace, you may say. True, it is due to that. But, it is not something to be left unattended. Calf pains are due to deep vein thrombosis that occurs when the stagnated blood in the veins starts to form clots. The danger here is that the clot could break off and travel to your lungs causing pulmonary thromboembolism that is fatal! Take a break regularly and put up your feet frequently. Let the blood flow and not stagnate! Pain in the back: Most commonly, back pain is caused due to arthritis, and improper sitting postures. But if you suffer from high blood pressure, and are an alcoholic and smoker too, do not take your back pain lightly. It could be due to a heart attack or an aortic dissection! Pain in the abdomen: You may attribute this pain to gases, over eating or indigestion. While these may be occasional causes, persistent pains need to be checked. It could be anything from a gall stone, to gastric ulcers, to a swollen liver, or maybe even pancreatic cancer! Vague, medically inexplicable pains: When you have a recurrent headache or a stomach ache or a backache and you come out with a 'perfectly healthy' report after visiting all the specialists, it is perhaps time to seek the help of a psychiatrist or a counsellor. Your pains could actually be a symptom of depression. Psychosomatic pains are on the rise. The stresses we face in our lives everyday get pushed to our subconscious, and eventually are pushed up bodily in the form of unexplained aches and pains!
Aids defining cancersIn fact the presence of such aids defining cancers is an indication of advanced AIDS having developed in these patients. However, the reasons for these cancers are unclear. It is possible that since people with AIDS have low immunity, they become more susceptible to these cancers. The double attack of these already complex diseases complicates treatment plans too. Thus, it needs care under experienced doctors who specialize in these diseases. The cancers that define AIDS are: Kaposi's Sarcoma:This is a type of skin cancer. It was usually found usually in people who have received organ transplants. Nowadays it is also most prevalent in homosexual men with HIV/AIDS and is also called epidemic Kaposi's Sarcoma.  It causes lesions to show up in multiple points in the body such as skin, lymph nodes, liver, lungs, spleen and digestive tract. Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma:This is the second most commonly associated cancer with HIV/AIDS. The various sub types of NHL are primary central nervous system lymphoma and primary effusion lymphoma. Approximately 4-10% people with HIV/AIDS develop NHL. Other kinds of cancers are anal cancer, liver cancer, mouth cancer, Hodgkin's lymphoma, testicular cancer, melanoma, throat cancer, colorectal cancer and multiple skin cancers.  Treating Cancer in HIV people: Till anti-HIV medication were not discovered the future for infected people was bleak. They were already sick and their bodies weak even before their cancer treatment were started. Presently the cancer treatment is mixed with anti-HIV drugs. However, depending upon the extent of cancer and the need of AIDS care, variations are made between chemotherapy and other HIV related drugs needed. Treating Kaposi's Sarcoma: Often anti-HIV drugs are enough to treat this cancer. The lesions, which are viral, shrink, as the immune system gets better. Sometimes chemotherapy and radiation may also be needed if the lesions are internal. Treating Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma: AIDS related NHL is fast growing and needs intense chemotherapy treatment. Introduction of highly active anti-retroviral therapy and use of drugs that help the infected body make new blood cells has relieved a major concern for HIV patients where previously due to their low blood cell count, chemotherapy could not be administered to them. But with these advances, acutely monitored chemotherapy treatments can be administered now. Treating Cervical Cancer: In case of women who have a good immune system and invasive cervical cancer can still be treated similarly as non-HIV women. They can even do well in surgeries and other conventional treatments. Discovering Cancer Early: Screening helps discover presence of cancer when no symptoms are evident. However AIDS defining cancers cannot be detected through screening. Thus, close monitoring, regular checkups and a keen lookout for symptoms of these cancers can help discover the ailment if present. Pap tests help discover cervical cancer in women. However, in case of HIV women, these should be undertaken more often. Even as often as 2 tests a year, 6 months apart in the first year of HIV detection. If the tests are clear, they should get Pap tests done regularly once a year henceforth. For other AIDS related cancers, the screening tests are still being devised. Lowering Cancer Risk: HIV ruins the body's immune system making it susceptible to a variety of diseases. Good health practices are a must for those detected with HIV in order to ward off cancer. They should surely not smoke or consume alcohol. Injection drugs and unsafe sexual practices also pose increased threat of cancer. Maintaining balanced diets, physical activity and proper body weight are extremely important and helpful too.
How to talk about STDsThese are dangerous times that we live in. Just the sheer number of people affected by sex related problems, diseases and conditions all over the world is simply terrifying. AIDS, venereal infections like syphilis and gonorrhea, herpes, HPV etc. are rampant and it calls for some responsible sexual behavior. However, that's a utopian world where humans will be monogamous and will behave responsibly. Even single people might get exposed to these diseases through indulging in risky sexual contact. Imagine doling out $750,000, as a woman in the US got from her husband because he gave her herpes. Even if you are not held legally accountable, what about moral responsibility to own up and discuss a possible STD infection with your partner! Take the case of Jack a happily married man for ten years who had casual sex when out of town on an official trip. He showed no obvious symptoms of any infection but in a month, his wife showed signs of herpes and his marriage crumbled as his wife struggled to come to terms with her husband's obvious infidelity and his callous manner in exposing her to a serious sexual infection. Call it ignorance but sometimes a person might engage in sexual intercourse and contract a disease which he might even not be aware of until the symptoms start appearing. (Refer article on Syphilis on www.topdoctorsonline.com) By then, he might have, in all probability, passed it on to his regular sexual partner or spouse. Or perhaps, there is another possibility that the person knows that he has contracted a sexual infection but doesn't know how to break the news to his partner.  If a person is aware of his infection, yet exposes another person knowingly, it is akin to premeditated murder. Yes, it is going to be a difficult thing to tell your partner which might even signal the end of the relationship or cause severe strain on it. So, if you are caught in a situation like this, what would you do? The option would be to visit a sex therapist and confide in him and then take an appointment for both and let the professional break it to the partner. That is of course if you are in a stable relationship. For those who both party to casual sex, the infected person generally won't be that open about his infection and may even choose not to care particularly if the other person is a complete stranger. A report in MedlinePlus news reveals some more shocking statistics: Many people said they occasionally, rarely or never got tested before having sex with casual partners (50 percent) or long-term partners (39 percent). Of the people who did discuss STD testing, very few discussed concurrent sexual partners or when partners' testing occurred in relation to their last sex act. Only half explained what types of STDs their partner had been tested for. These issues are important components of assessing STD risk, the researchers said. About one-third of participants reported telling a partner they didn't have an STD even though they hadn't been tested since their last sexual partner. One U.S. woman was awarded $750,000 in court from her ex-husband because he gave her herpes, and the legal trend is to make people accountable. (http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-talk-to-a-partner-about-stds.html) Remember even wearing a condom is not a 100% guarantee that the infection won't pass on to the other person but that's the least that you can do if you don't have the courage to spill the beans about your condition. If you feel that your partner may be indulging in sexual activity with multiple partners and if you feel he might be infected, then you are well within your rights to decline to have sex with him until he/she gets tested. If you notice sores around the genitals do not indulge in oral or anal sex or any kind of sex and insist on a condom always; it could save your life.
Painful intercourseSome of the causes affecting women can be: Going too fast, penetrating from an awkward position. Do not hesitate to tell your partner that it hurts and he needs to slow down or change position in order to make you comfortable and prevent pain. Dry vagina or lack of natural lubrication in the vagina. This dry vagina is caused due to some medications, changes at the menopause. Sometimes just increasing the time of foreplay can help vaginal lubrication. Use water-based lubricant to reduce pain. Failure to fire off. Sometimes failure of the vagina and uterus to respond to sexual arousal can lead to irritation and tenderness. The vagina may be too tight for the intercourse sometimes or the uterus may not be raised so that the penis comes in contact with the cervix during penetration. Using other penetration methods can be helpful to explore the level of arousal before engaging in intercourse. Vaginismus can be the cause of discomfort. Muscles surrounding vagina are sometimes very tight and lead to pain and intercourse to be painful. Woman can examine herself with her fingers to see if vaginal walls are tighter than normal. It can be vaginismus. Normal cause is nervousness or anxiety. It is reversible. Good foreplay before intercourse will help to relax the muscles and help lubricate. Just relaxing before the act can be helpful. Vaginal infection and inflammation due to yeast, herpes, etc. can make intercourse uncomfortable. Fabrics, creams, perfumes may cause irritation in area in some women. Avoid these. First-time sex can be a little painful. Rupture of the hymen can cause discomfort during penetration. Start slowly or begin with forms of penetration other than intercourse. Psychological pain. Sexually traumatic experiences or feelings of guilt associated with sex can make the act painful. Consult a sex therapist or psychiatrist. Discomfort during intercourse is experienced by men too, various causes affecting this outcome for men are: Tight foreskin. During first attempt at intercourse, tight foreskin will make retraction painful. After sometime, the foreskin will become loose and make intercourse comfortable. Any lesion on the penis skin can make intercourse painful. These may result from non-lubricated masturbation or rapid intercourse or STDs. The blisters due to herpes infection can make intercourse extremely painful.
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