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Handling post retirement bluesYou have given the best years of your life to your career, and now it's time to say goodbye and get ready for the retired life. It is a phase laden with expectations of all things you were too busy to do while working - spending more time with family, going on that fishing expedition, or going on leisure trips around the world. However, despite the wonderful things to come, retirement can get unusually trying and mentally taxing. After all, how many of us really have the flexibility of mind to take this period as a challenge and be the master of our destinies? Just because you are retired doesn't mean you have to wither away and wait for death to claim you. So, here's what you can do to beat the retirement blues Catching up: This is really a bewildering time, as you have a lot of catching up to do, with a lot of things. Prioritize the things you want to do and proceed confidently. You may want to spend time with children, spouse, friends, etc. Go easy on yourself, as you may not be able to fit in as many things in your schedule all at the same time. Boost your self-esteem: Retirement is particularly trying for those who have occupied important positions in office. Such people are known to throw tantrums, as they feel less wanted than before. So don't ever make the mistake of treating your family like you treated subordinates at work. That was a role that you played then, and without reducing your importance or self-esteem you can now play a different role with your family as a friend, philosopher and guide. In fact, you can use your contacts and keep the old network alive by involving youth in your field of expertise and help them benefit from you. Catch up on exercise: The more physically fit you are the less likely that retirement will be a painful process. Perfect time for you to catch up on the fun times with your spouse to remind you of all the great times you have had all these years. If your spouse is not in the best of health then just being together is such a wonderful experience in the golden years. Financial health: Your peace of mind and self-esteem largely depend on how independent you are financially. You can take up a part time job or think of innovative ways to let your hobbies and interests generate money for you. This should be an enjoyable process by which your self-esteem can really benefit. Support groups: There are informal or formal associations of retired people that do various activities like travelling. Make yourself available to them. Sometimes retired people withdraw into a shell and that only makes things worse. These support groups give a fresh perspective on all things in life.
Caught in the snore snare....A real nightmare!Snoring is caused due to obstructed air movement during breathing while sleeping. It may suggest an underlying medical problem like obstructive sleep apnea. Studies have also revealed a correlation between snoring and risk of heart attack. There are different reasons for snoring and to find out the exact reason and the right solution is important. Snoring affects the quality of sleep can cause irritability and fatigue. Snoring causes poor quality of sleep, irritability, lack of concentration the day after the deed. Snoring is a tad like fingerprints , no two sets are the same and so it is with snoring, There are different rhythms or snoring patterns and even the reasons for snoring vary. Snoring or that irritating sound which people make through their mouths and nose while asleep happens because of narrow airways failure of air to pass through the respiratory system easily. The air vibrates against the obstruction in airway causing the sound of snoring. The air is unable to escape normally through the airways and hence it causes that grating sound with each inhale and exhale. Yes that sound which makes you wish you could smother the fella with a pillow. We say fella because men are more prone to it than women. Snoring can happen due to various reasons: Habits: Those who smoke and drink regularly are likely to have a more relaxed set of jaw muscles causing them to snore readily and loudly. Weight: People with excess weight and poor muscle tone are likely to snore more. Age: The wide open mouthed gape kind of snoring usually happens in old people as the breathing muscles lose their tone somewhat. Posture: General posture and sleep posture in particular can affect snoring patterns. Especially, sleeping with the back flat against the bed constricts free exhalation. How to put a clamp on your snoring? If you have a snoring problem evaluate how serious it is and then take the necessary elimination strategies. Understand that your snoring can cause sleepless nights to your partners, family or whoever is within ear shot so instead of going in for fancy anti-snore devices which don't do a thing to help If this is a recent habit then consult your doctor and have him re-evaluate any medications that might be responsible. Try and establish a regular sleep time and ensure that you follow it to the T. Exercise to lose weight as losing flab around the throat can lead to better sleep. Ask a partner to awaken you if you snore too loudly as regular jabs in the gut can help train the mind to behave. Blow your nose out before bed time as clear air passages is what you need. Any nasal constriction or chest congestion is really what gets you started. Sleeping on your side is a better option than sleeping on your back. Before hitting the sack try and hum a few bars of the blues as singing can help tone the vocal cords and they are less likely to go into vibrate mode. According to help-guide.org there is a rather quaint method to cure snoring and that is to play on a certain musical instrument called the 'Didgeridoo' which is supposed to strengthen the soft palate and throat muscles. If you have no Australian connections then don't despair as rolling your tongue out from all sides before sleep can work just as effectively.
Hair straightening do's and don'tsWhat's in a hair? Well when someone thought of this quote, he or she certainly did not foresee the future because in today's world hair is everything. For a woman and a caterpillar at least! Let's just talk about women! Hair not only covers your scalp, but also protects it.  Hair is known to be something that enhances the beauty of a woman, as there is nothing like the feel of smooth and silky hair caressing the shoulders. Women all over the world dream to have beautiful, strong, silky, and preferably, long straight hair. Why straight hair? Let's find out, women are born with all kinds of hair, curly, wavy, long, and short but according to some women there is nothing that beats having a straight hair and there are women in this world who could go to any length achieving that straight hair they always desired. One of those ways is straightening, a styling technique used since the 1980's, which involves the flattening as well as straightening of hair, to give it a smooth, streamlined, and a sleek look. Straightening can be of two types, temporary or permanent. Temporary straightening can be achieved by a straightening iron or relaxers and generally lasts up to the first wash. Permanent hair straightening generally requires the use of Lye and other chemicals (more commonly known as creamy crack) with the help of a hot comb, hot iron, and relaxers. Permanent straightening, with proper care, can easily last up to a year. According to documentary "Good Hair" by actor Chris Brown, African American women are known for their profound use of "creamy crack" to get that perfect straight hair they long for. They are also the women who make the cosmetic companies rich, thanks to their profound use of hair straightening and hair care related products. African American women also account for the highest amount of money spent on hair care and hair care related products. Coming in a close second are the women from Central and South East Asia. These women are also known to go to extremes to get that perfect straight hair look, which is generally shown in TV Commercials endorsed by celebrities. Now that we are aware of the statistics, it is time that we look into the do's and don'ts of hair straightening. Straightening your hair once in a while may sound like a good idea, but it is extremely essential that we understand that extreme care is required here. Hence it is always better to know the do's and don'ts before we decide to break the bank (straightening ain't cheap) for straightening treatments. Do's : Make sure your diets consist of plenty of healthy foods, water. Also doing regular exercise is advised. Always use a shampoo and conditioner that best suits you. Remember to ask your stylist about the kind of products that suit you. Always go for hair spa treatment once a month since your hair needs that extra nourishing. Don'ts : Do not wet your hair at least for three days after the treatment. Do not tuck your hair behind your ear. Avoid twisting your wet hair with a towel. Avoid extreme scrubbing of your hair while shampooing. Straightening even once can cause excessive damage, hence do not do it repeatedly. Straightening your hair once in a while is okay, but doing it continually is ill advised as it can have a lot of negative consequences. Straightening also comes with certain side effects such as heavy chemical reaction, dizziness, permanent hair damage, dryness, skin irritation, itchiness, and severe chemical burns. Hence, it's always better to have a professional do it at a salon rather than doing it yourself. Hair straightening, though done by the same method all around the world, requires different types of hair care products as the hair type is mostly related to your race and ethnicity and your geographical location.
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
Exercise to fight off depression in school kidsBefore concluding on the effects of different forms of exercise on children, it is important to note the distinction between fitness and exercise. Fitness encompasses most importantly a healthy lifestyle of which exercise forms a part. For this reason, when researchers examined the impact of fitness on emotional being of a child, most of them covered three main determining factors, namely the body mass index, the child's feeling about fitness, and a shuttle-run test. Depression is characterized by recurrent feelings of despair and hopelessness. The main symptoms of depression include sensations of unworthiness, dysfunctional thinking, lack of concentration, low level of sleep, anger, social isolation, crying, physical grievances like headaches which do not react to treatments, reduced interest in social activities, and thoughts on suicide. It is not necessary that every child will undergo all the symptoms. If most of the symptoms recur continuously, then it is a warning sign. The propensity towards chronic depression is higher in those who suffer from depression during childhood. A healthy lifestyle is accompanied by a range of psychological benefits. When you exercise, your body produces endorphins which stimulate positive sensations about the self. Produced by the brain, they also reduce the sensation of pain. A healthy lifestyle boosts the sleep cycle and helps in coping better with tough situations. A medical study conducted by University of Texas revealed the positive effects of physical activity on middle-school graders. It was found that there is a robust link between depression and fitness in girls. Even though boys show association, it is not explicit.  Conclusively, it was pronounced that exercise helps in reducing the chances of depression in school-going children. The best way to help your child is by introducing activities that she or he finds interesting. Initially, you might face resistance. The most important task is to communicate with your child. In the face of such resistance, you can attempt to find a hybrid therapy to reach out to your child. Apart from scheduling appointment with a child psychologist, you can also meet up with a physical health advisor. Emphasize on activities which will also help your child to meet new people. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, one of the main benefits of physical activity is betterment of academic achievement and conduct in children.
What is megalomania?Bertrand Russell's quote on megalomania perfectly describes the condition:"The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history." Megalomania is a delusional bipolar disorder. The sufferer believes he is an all-powerful person and that he is superior to all other people. Megalomania comes from the Greek words megalo which means large or great and mania which means madness. It is a psychopathological disorder that has delusional fantasies of power, exaggerated self esteem and a sense of omnipotence. The sufferer may believe he is God or some famous athlete. Although megalomania is a term used for power hungry people, it is clinically described under the mental disorder of narcissism. Narcissism is self-love. Though self-love is a healthy concept, narcissism is a pathological state where one loves oneself to the extent that he starts despising others. Megalomania is caused by certain phobias and mental conditions associated with emotions and personality. In everyday life, megalomania can be a person's mental way of reacting to frustration, abandonment or some serious loss. In the social world, the term megalomaniac is often synonymous with control freaks, power-drunk army generals, executives and politicians. The treatment of megalomania includes medications. The challenge here is that the person may not believe he has anything wrong with him. He, in fact, believes that he is so great that no harm can come to him, so talking him into getting himself treated is very difficult. Adolf Hitler, the German dictator, was a power-hungry control freak. He believed that he was the supreme commander and that his race was the only race suited to inhabit earth. All other races, especially Jews, were inferior and had to be wiped off the face of the earth. Adolf Hitler was megalomaniac.
10 Makeup mishaps and easy ways to avoid themRepercussions of those horrifying blends Astonished? As to why we are staring off with the "after effects" rather than discussing about the problems initially. Well, to understand how to avoid it, we first need to know why to avoid it. Firstly, application of the wrong makeup leads to spoiling your entire look and after that even if you wear any designer collection nothing shall compensate for those miseries. Secondly, applying makeup does not start when you hold that lipstick in your hand or take that brush close, it started way before, when you chose the brand or the type. Understanding your skin type and then choosing the best option is way too important than actually applying the makeup. Thirdly, never be "penny wise and pound foolish" when it comes to your cosmetic brand, as in the pursuit of saving some money, you might end up paying the dermatologist a huge fee for treating tarnished skin. The most awaited party and your make up got totally smudged, nightmarish right? Read on to find ways to avoid it. Keeping the above catastrophic consequences in mind lets know about the 10 makeup mistakes and ways to evade them. How to avoid those 10 makeup mishaps Laying the great  "Foundation" Do you pay all your attention in choosing the matching lipstick and eye shadow and end up paying no heed on the foundation to be applied? If your answer is YES then this is the column you need to stick your eyes to. Wrong foundation type or erroneously mixed foundation can cause more dangerous aftermath than a snow storm. Follow the 3 simple steps to make your foundation always compliment your makeup to the fullest: Chose your foundation color and brand by testing the same on your skin and seeing the texture under good natural lighting. The foundation blend should be always created by adding right amount of water and moisturizer into it to create a suitable mixture. Apply the foundation not only till your face but extend it to your neck and ear area to give a uniform appearance. Blistering of the Blush Have you spent 3 hours to get that right look and 3 minutes in realizing that the makeup was too heavy you stepped out? Well blushes, if not applied in the right amount, will end up making you look too loud for the occasion. The instant solution:  chose a color which compliments your skin tone and apply it under good lighting to know the real effect it has on your skin. Under the dark shadows of the eye shadow Isn't eye makeup your most favorite part of your entire look? Most of the girls will give a big nod to this. Eye makeup can solely make you look like a diva or a devil taking into consideration how you do it. Try to play with colors but do not end up choosing a shade totally different from your eye color and complexion. Chose a shade which compliments your eye color and your outfit. The Mascara Massacre Avoiding dramatic movies and stepping out in the rains is the maximum refuge we take to save our mascara and making us turn into a black-eyed devil. You think there is no way to get rid of this? Then you are wrong for once, as such situations can be avoided just by resisting the application of the mascara on your lower eyelids.  Seal the concealer It may be a magic wand to hide that pimple at the wrong place or those dark circles you got after the late night study sessions but always remember to mix your concealer well with the nearby skin area to give a natural look. Also, create a firm mixture before applying it to avoid lines showing on your face. The eye brow hassles Too less eyebrow hair make you uncomfortable even with good makeup? The solution is simple, move the eyebrow pencil firmly on your eyebrow to give some volume to your eyebrows. Just do not overdo it as it might spoil your entire look. Apply just one or two light streaks of it on the eye brows and you are good to go. Dangerous chronicles of the eyeliner Applying the eyeliner can be a fetish among many women but how to do it and how much is a point to discuss here. Try to apply pencil liners if you are a beginner especially. Dress as per occasion and apply the liner accordingly. Carry wet tissues always and clean up well in case they get grubby.  Lash out those artificial eye lashes Giving volume to your eye lashes can be very beneficial but do you know how much volume is just enough? If no, try to start with very few artificial lashes. Heavy usage of these lashes can make your look go haywire. So start off with less and then move ahead as per requirement.  Right streak of the Lip liner One might always get confused as which lip liner will go well with the lipstick shade you got but always try to chose a lighter liner shade which shall hold your lipstick and give it a neat and tidy appearance. Gloss or Matt-the great dilemma of a Lipstick Do you always sit with just one question before buying the lipstick that should you go with gloss or matt colors, here is the easy answer - chose gloss for informal occasions and ceremonies. Usage of matt can be done for office presentation where you do not have time for instant touch ups. Avoid matt when you are out for weekend parties, as gloss will give you the needed liveliness you need that time. Choose the color which goes well with your skin tone rather than the one matching your dress. Try to experiment and flaunt but do not experiment with anything that might damage your skin.
5 Muscle building smoothiesProtein is highly important for muscle building as it repairs the muscles and help in their rapid recovery after a workout. That is why most of the trainers recommend taking protein smoothies after workouts. Generally, banana and peanut butter alternatively, are used to add the protein content to the smoothies. Apart from these, Chocolate is a hot favourite as well. But if these do get boring, here are some smoothie ideas, only for you. Hot Cocoa (bed-time and post workout) Ingredients: 1-cup milk (fat-free), 1 scoop whey protein chocolate, 1 packet Swiss Miss Diet hot Cocoa and ½-cup cottage cheese (low fat). Recipe Heat the milk and just when it gets to the boiling point, blend it in the blender with the protein, cottage cheese and cocoa until smooth. Ensure that the mixture has mixed well. This protein smoothie can be taken just before bedtime as well, because the cottage cheese contains slow digesting proteins that are great for overnight muscle repairing. Each glass of the Hot Cocoa smoothie contains: Calories-275 Protein-44 gms Carbs-20 gms Fat-1 gm Fiber-0gm Root Beer Float (post-workout) Ingredients: 1 scoop vanilla flavored whey protein, ½ cup vanilla yoghurt (fat free(, 1 scoop vanilla casein protein and 1 ½ cup root beer Recipe In a bowl mix all the protein powders into the yogurt slowly and stir well to avoid clumps. Now, pour the root beer in a large beer glass and add this mixture of yoghurt carefully, without stirring. Since the root beer starts carbonation process, the shake becomes quite frothy without having to use a blender for mixing. Each large glass of the Root Beer Float smoothie contains: Calories-443 Protein-48gms Carbs-61 gms Fat-1 gm Fiber-1 gm Post workout or pre-workout smoothies provide the necessary protein to the body that contributes in rapid muscle recovery and growth. Peach Cobbler (pre-workout) Ingredients: 1-cup water, ½ can of sliced peaches with juice, 1 scoop vanilla whey and 1 packet Quakers Instant Oatmeal (lower sugar maple and brown sugar) Recipe Mix all the ingredients in a blender and serve. Use an immersion blender for this one, to get a finely mixed smoothie. Each glass of the Peach Cobbler smoothie contains: Calories-305 Protein-24 gms Carbs-49 gms Fat- 2 gms Fiber-3 gms Orange Creamsicle (pre-workout) Ingredients: 1-cup orange juice, ½ cup fat-free yoghurt (vanilla flavor) and 1 scoop vanilla whey protein Recipe Mix all the ingredients in the blender and enjoy your smoothie. Ensure that you use real orange juice and not the flavored orange drinks for this one to get the desired result. One glass of the Orange Creamsicle smoothie contains: Calories-280 Protein-27gms Carbs-43 gms Fat-1 gm Fiber-2 gms Chocolate Almond Brownie (pre workout or early morning) Ingredients: 1 cup milk (fat-free), ¼ cup almonds (chopped), ½ Clif brownie bar (chocolate flavor-chopped finely) and 1 scoop of chocolate flavored whey protein Recipe Mix the milk and the flavored protein in the blender and serve with almonds and Clif bar topping. Use a spoon as you will be eating as well as drinking the shake, because the almonds and the bar chips can settle to the bottom. One glass of this Chocolate Almond Brownie smoothie contains: Calories -457 Protein-39 gms Carbs-41 gms Fat-17 gms Fiber-8 gms
Winter - When your heart feels the cold too!As per a study in America, 193.6 people of every 10000 people die of a heart disease every year. 53% of the heart attacks occur in the winter months. Heart diseases have a seasonal trend as found by medical research recently. A team of medical researchers recently conducted a survey which saw 10,000 participants between the ages 35 to 80 from around seven European countries. The study was conducted to see if there is any seasonal variation in the presentation of heart diseases. The participants were measured on the parameters of blood pressure, waist circumference, body mass index, blood glucose levels and blood lipid levels. The parameters were later adjusted for sex, age and smoking. The results revealed that the incidence of heart disease shows an upward trend in the winter month [Jan to Feb] as compared to the summer months [June-Aug]. The researchers accept that there is no logical explanation to these findings. A plausible cause being the fact that the eating habits change in winter. One tends to eat more which in turn increases the cholesterol levels leading to heart diseases. Several other theories are being put forth. According to one, during the winter months the body undergoes hormonal imbalance. The day and night variation in the hormone levels, especially that of cortisol varies. This results in a lower threshold for heart attacks. Yet another theory says that the cold temperature tends to constrict the arteries narrowing the blood flow to the heart tissue and this result in a heart attack. On the basis of this study, scientists advise that more attention is to be paid to heart health during the winters.
7 Pains you should not ignoreWhen the body cries out in pain, most of the times, you know what is bringing that pain, and you do what will help relieve the pain. For example, a serious workout may cause sore aching muscles, for which you will rest a day or two, or take a painkiller. What does one do to know why a body part is paining? One needs to sit up and take notice! The pain could be anything, from a heart attack, to an aneurysm, and could cost you your life! Pain in the head: Headaches are the most frequent pains that we suffer from. Headache could be due to a migraine, due to staying too long in the sun, due to a cold, or simply due to working too long without a break. However, in case you have a headache, and are not able to pinpoint to an obvious cause, rush to the emergency room. Headaches with no apparent cause may be due to a brain hemorrhage, a tumor in the brain, or an aneurysm in the brain arteries! Get yourself checked as soon as possible, if you keep getting headaches for no apparent reason. Pain in the jaw: This could be due to a caries ridden tooth. But most often it is due to an impending heart attack. The classical left sided chest pain radiating to the left little finger is not always seen in all cases of heart attacks. Pains to the jaw and the back are reported very frequently. Often, people tend to take the pain in the jaw lightly, and brush it off to a tooth problem. This may be potentially life threatening, as you never know the severity of the attack! Tingling, numbness and burning of the feet: Diabetes mellitus is a silent killer. Peripheral neuropathy is often the first complication of diabetes. Tingling numbness, and burning in the feet may be attributed to wearing tight shoes and to keeping your feet suffocated in socks all day long. Dipping your feet in a tub of cold water will give you a good night's sleep. But do not let it go at that. Get your blood sugar levels checked before it is too late! Pain in the calves: Do you get nightly pain in your calves that get better with putting your feet up? This is due to long standing hours at workplace, you may say. True, it is due to that. But, it is not something to be left unattended. Calf pains are due to deep vein thrombosis that occurs when the stagnated blood in the veins starts to form clots. The danger here is that the clot could break off and travel to your lungs causing pulmonary thromboembolism that is fatal! Take a break regularly and put up your feet frequently. Let the blood flow and not stagnate! Pain in the back: Most commonly, back pain is caused due to arthritis, and improper sitting postures. But if you suffer from high blood pressure, and are an alcoholic and smoker too, do not take your back pain lightly. It could be due to a heart attack or an aortic dissection! Pain in the abdomen: You may attribute this pain to gases, over eating or indigestion. While these may be occasional causes, persistent pains need to be checked. It could be anything from a gall stone, to gastric ulcers, to a swollen liver, or maybe even pancreatic cancer! Vague, medically inexplicable pains: When you have a recurrent headache or a stomach ache or a backache and you come out with a 'perfectly healthy' report after visiting all the specialists, it is perhaps time to seek the help of a psychiatrist or a counsellor. Your pains could actually be a symptom of depression. Psychosomatic pains are on the rise. The stresses we face in our lives everyday get pushed to our subconscious, and eventually are pushed up bodily in the form of unexplained aches and pains!
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
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