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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Aging milestonesChanges in old age depends on attitude as much as person to person. In young old age some changes begin to take place in a person’s appearance. Wrinkles, warts, age spots begin to form on the body. Hair begins to thin or becomes grey and even height lessens because the bone density decreases. While in ‘old‘ old age these changes are already permanent. Men might look distinguished if in good health, but women all look grandmotherly. In ‘young’ old age, cells begin to decay and muscle mass declines and immunity is no longer as strong as it used to be. People lose energy as the age progresses.  ‘Old’ old age brings in a lot of physical decline, profound changes in appearance and motor abilities, as also in sensation. Skin gets less elastic and becomes thin and blood vessels can break under the skin. The senses also begin to become dull. Eye lenses get affected and color perception and reading ability becomes very low. Hearing loss may lead to paranoia and ‘old’ old age people begin to think everyone is plotting against them because they can’t hear properly about what others are saying. Sense of smell also declines, but the taste remains almost intact. In ‘young’ old age, reflexes also slow down and so do the motor abilities. By the time they reach ‘old‘ old age most adults find that their response time has become quite reduced. This can be seen most in driving situations where it is difficult for ‘old‘ old aged adults to operate their vehicles as they have poor spontaneous responses. The ‘young’ old adults do not lose as much of their motor abilities as the ‘old‘ old adults, especially when holding small things like needles and pins. Of course, there are changes in sexuality and there may be a decline in the ability to have sex as men may not have an erection and women become dry due to lack of female hormones. Cognitive decline in 40% to 60% of older adults can be arrested with remedial training. Despite all the changes, most people even in their 70s remain comparatively active if they do not suffer any illness. Mental, physical, and social activity is necessary to maintain the quality of life. Old people begin to withdraw from work and other important roles and allow the younger people to take over. They are a lot happier as is also advised in Vedic literature as vridhashram. While activities are important, disengagement is equally important. Memory loss becomes aggravated and other cognitive abilities begin to decline and there are many ‘old‘ old adults who get Alzheimer’s and lose the ability to look after themselves. Old people also dwell on questions of death and sometimes go through a phase of denial and then anger that they have so little time left. Acceptance of death comes, but after a struggle and the idea of losing the family saddens them. Old people require support in their declining years as they begin to lose their faculties.
Mother can pass stress patterns to childThe stress patterns in the mother have shown to affect the mental development of children and have been found to play a role in autism and even schizophrenia. "Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche." - Andrew Denton There are several studies conducted in this area of research. The results are varied and present a set of multiple issues that children can face if their mothers have been under stress when they were in the womb. In later years, these babies grow into children who have a weak mental state. They cry easily, pick the escape route in conflicts and difficult situations, are anxiety prone and may get easily bullied in social environments. Their social adjustment gets hampered due to emotional weakness. These children are not good at handling weak moments and end up being rubbed off the wrong way, time and again. It pushes them into a vicious cycle. The incapability to tackle socially stressful situations further scares them. They get bullied and become even more vulnerable. What to do? The approach is twofold. Curb the problem in the beginning. Yes, it is natural to be stressed. Pregnancy can be tough, physically as well as mentally. With the modern life, the stressors have increased and there is always so much to do in such little time. Relationships, work, food, health, hormones - there is ample to trouble you. Find a release for the tensions. The one growing inside you needs you to be happy and healthy. Do things that make you happy, keep your happiness at the top priority. Everyone around you needs to understand that. Reader, if you are the husband, parent, sibling or friend of a pregnant lady - support her, understand her and do all you can to make her smile. Do not be the one who reprimands if she is worried, be the one who takes away her worries. Pave way for a baby who is happy and ready to start a new life. Second, do what you can at the given time. The child is already here and is facing emotional adjustment issues - extend your support to him/her. Give the kid the ground to grow strong roots and stand tall, without being disturbed easily by gushes of the wind. While it is difficult to avoid stress, you can always try to handle it better, for the sake of your child.Soon-to-be mothers who go through stressful situations may be passing on the stress patterns to their babies.
Pamper the newborn without forgetting yourselfIf you are a new mom, chances are you are busy 24/7. The baby's complete dependence on you helps you bond with him/her and makes you aware of the responsibility that is now on you. But, your own health is an equally important responsibility. So, you need to give yourself permission to take care, or even pamper yourself from time to time. Here are simple ways for you to look out for yourself. Eat your favorite breakfast: As your day starts, you need fuel to keep your energy levels high. So, grab your hands on healthy and tasty breakfast options like whole grain cereal, skim milk and sliced strawberries or a banana. The combination of lean protein, whole-grain foods, and nutrient-rich fruit allows the brain to form more feel-good chemicals. Don't let stress come near you: We know that a lot of changes in your life have transpired, due to the entry of a baby in your world. The difficulty to cope with the changes may cause stress and depression. Try to avoid stress by asking for your husband's and relatives' support. Take a walk with your baby: Walking with your baby in nearby parks will give you fresh air and it is an excellent form of exercise. Don't be sleep deprived: Having a baby doesn't mean that you have to always sacrifice your sleep. Never miss an opportunity to sleep or take rest. This will keep your energy levels high for the day. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Delegate baby care: Parenting is not your sole responsibility. Ask your husband to lend a hand in taking care of the baby for some time. Not just the husband, if you live in a joint family, you can ask other relatives for help as well. Don't be a multi-tasking person: We know a woman has so many roles to play. But, it doesn't always have to be that way. Being a new mom, you must focus on one activity at a time. You can prioritize your tasks, if you have a lot of things to do. Exercise regularly: Add exercise to your daily routine. Choose the exercise which you love and enjoy, like walking, cycling, yoga, swimming or aerobic dance. Consult a doctor before starting any exercise program.    
Cranky kids in a diner? dealing with them made a bit easy!This has happened to many a parent. They make a reservation at a fine dining restaurant, perhaps with friends and relatives. But their kid screams, and cries,disturbing the entire restaurant, and spoiling the general mood. For this reason, many parents avoid going out altogether, especially to fancy places. But there are ways in which you can handle the toddler when you are at a restaurant. We will show you how. Carry toys Restaurant may be boring at times for toddlers. That's why they turn peevish and may start playing with forks, spoons or knife. So carry some toys, crayons, notebooks, or even a story book, which will keep them busy and you can have a good time. Order something yummy and healthy for the kid A hungry kid is an angry kid. So, order something which is your kid's favorite and also healthy at the same time. Or you can carry something along with you like fruits breads, cherries or other nutritious treats. Keep responding to what kid says The best way to keep childrenwell behavedis to talk to them and respond whenever the child speaks. Don't avoid them or get too engrossed with other people. They get cranky when they don't get a response from you. Take a round with your kid When the kid becomes difficult to handle, just pick him in your arms and take a mini tour of the restaurant or walk outside. This will distract him and relieve his boredom. Don't tolerate any bad behavior If the bad behavior of the kids is intolerable, then firmly tell them that they need to adopt good manners if they want to visit restaurants again. Disturbing other diners is not acceptable. But it doesn't mean that you punish them.You just have to remove them to a place where they don't bother anyone. Make your outing relaxed and enjoyable Above all, don't forget to have fun and make it an enjoyable evening. Don't get too carried away disciplining the kid. You can afford to be a bit silly and enjoy the time with your child.
10 unhealthy habits in kidsNowadays, parents are too engrossed with their professional lives, and hence are unable to pay enough attention to their kids. Kids may develop unhealthy habits as a result of this neglect. Parents need to take conscious efforts to inculcate good habits in their children. Here is a list of unhealthy habits in kids, which you need to break immediately. Not drinking enough water It is very important for kids to keep their body hydrated in order to keep their skin supple and cool down the body's temperature when it's hot. Water also allows muscles and joints to work better and helps cleaning out toxins from the body through the kidney. Staying hydrated helps keep the memory sharp and the mood stable. Encourage your child to drink water before he/she even feels thirsty. Snacking on junk food Kids relish junk food. Unfortunately, there are endless options when it comes to junk food. This can cause childhood obesity and lowers the energy levels. Junk food cannot meet up the body's requirement for nutrition and vitamins. Hence, children must be encouraged to snack on healthy and tasty food like fruits, whole grain breads, or fruit breads. Missing breakfast School going kids often skip their breakfast in order to reach school in time. Skipping breakfast increases the risk of being overweight. It also leads to a loss of concentration and making bad food choices later in the day. Parents must wake their kids early, so that they have time for a healthy breakfast. Spending too much time sitting Technology has been a boon in some ways. At the same time, it has made us lazy. Watching TV and playing video games seem far more attractive to kids than outdoor games. Kids become less active which leads to various health problems, such as getting obese, becoming lazy, lacking of stamina, losing concentration and good eyesight. Parents should encourage their kids to participate in sports at their school or play various outdoor games with other kids. Not having proper sleep Falling short of sleep should be a big no to kids. Lack of sleep affects the immune system, and also causes loss of concentration, headaches and heart-related problems. Get your kids to sleep around 7-8 hours every night. Overdosing on sugar Kids have particular preference for sweet foods. But added sugar in various desserts and snacks provides a lot of calories and lacks nutritional values. Limit the sweet intake of your child, but don't force them to completely give up on it. Refusing to eat green vegetables Children generally don't like to eat green vegetables. They prefer to have chapati with jam or cheese. But that doesn't fulfill the body's requirement for vitamins and minerals. Try to cook green vegetables in different forms and make it look and taste yummy. Give them various choices of green vegetables cooked in different styles. Nail biting Though nail biting doesn't cause severe health problems, it could result in milder diseases such as diarrhea, cold, viral infections, pin worms, and food poisoning. Keep the nails of your kid clean and try to control their nail biting by explaining to them the ill-effects of nail biting. Not playing outdoor games Not playing outdoors impairs a child's social skills, as well as hampers the development of healthy body. It also causes deficiency of vitamin D. Try to encourage and accompany the kids for playing outdoor games. Eating without washing hands Kids play outside and touch various objects and surfaces, which may have lots of bacteria and germs. When they eat something with the same dirty hands, the bacteria and germs enters their body and may cause food poisoning, viral infections, and stomach aches. Keep a hand sanitizer or good hand wash at home and encourage your child to wash his/her hands before eating anything.
Accepting your flawsThere are basically two kinds of 'flaws,' one that is physical and the other that is in your personality. A physical 'flaw' like being too short, fat, or darkis never a person's fault. Thus accepting what you are can only boost your self-esteem and confidence. Despite these 'shortcomings,' it is your character and your achievements that stand out in the long run and not the way you look. The first step in creating a better life is accepting if you are wrong! Personality traits and habits are mostly visible to others but not to you. These are those faults that can cause bitterness in relationships or cause problems at work or in our social interactions. Some people lose their temper easily, some are lazy, and some are rude, while some are either introverts or extroverts. If you have flaws that can cause problems for others then the best thing you can do is to change those negative traits in yourself. Character flaws might be natural, but they can affect others negatively. The first thing in making improvements is to analyze yourself. What are you so angry about ? Is it really some other person's fault or that you have had a bad day at the office? Give it a thought and once you find the answers, you will feel relieved. Accept your physical flaws and love yourself for what you are, as this is the key to lasting happiness. Major flaws like alcoholism, splurging money, borrowing money, or addictions are what one should be willing to overcome. If you accept you have any of these major flaws and need help to overcome them, then you need to seek help. There are professionals who can help out, provided you are a willing party to the process. Improvement will come only if you are willing to change. Remember that flaws are easy to acknowledge and to change;the only thing required is the desire within you to do so.
Mood disordersMood disorder is a category of mental health problems, and it includes all types of depression and bipolar disorder. The cause of mood disorder is not well known. Endorphins in brain are responsible for positive moods. The neurotransmitters regulate endorphins. Depression and other mood disorders are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Life events such as unwanted changes in life may also contribute to a depressed mood. Mood disorders are inherited. Children, adolescents, or adults who have a parent with a mood disorder have a greater chance of also having a mood disorder. Symptoms: Prolonged feeling of sadness Helpless feeling Low self-esteem Intense guilt Suicidal thoughts Loss of interest in daily activities Difficulty with relationships Disturbed sleep Change in appetite or weight Low energy Inability in concentrating Inability to make decisions Frequent physical complaints (i.e., headache, stomach ache, fatigue) Threats of running away from home Hypersensitivity to failure or rejection Irritability Aggressive behaviour Hostility In mood disorders, these feelings appear more intense than what a person may normally feel from time to time. Treatment Psychotherapy: It is focused on changing the individual's distorted views of themselves and the environment around them, working through difficult relationships, and identifying stress triggers in their environment and how to avoid them. Family therapy: Families play a vital supportive role in any treatment process. Antidepressant medications: Medications in combination with psychotherapy has shown to be very effective in the treatment of depression.
10 bedtime beauty essentials! Here are the beauty essentials you need to take into consideration, before you hit the bed: Baby-soft soles :Before you sleep, apply Vaseline on the sole of your feet. This will adequately moisturize your soles and you can wake up to the great opportunity of wearing those heels you have been dying to try out! Healing the puffy eyes : If you are worried about waking up with puffy and tired eyes (even after 6 to 8 hours of sleep), then put on a little eye cream. You can also keep an extra pillow and make sure you sleep on your back. This will allow the fluids around your eyes to drain easily and reduce the puffiness. Trying out wavy hairstyle : Bedtime is the best time to work on your hairstyle. Before you sleep, shower and fashion your hair into the style you want. Apply a styling cream on your hair gradually, after having air-dried it. Now, decide if you would like to put them up in buns or braids. Stylize them into the pattern and wake up to wavy hair! Let your skin breathe : Those who are suffering from dry skin can apply moisturizer. A humidifier is also a great accessory for help in these cases. You can switch on the humidifier before you go to sleep. This will help your skin to retain its moisture through appropriate hydration. Keep aging at bay :Did you know that sleeping on cotton pillowcases can increase the chances of creases and wrinkles on your skin? Prevent wrinkles by using silk or satin bed clothing. This will also reduce hair breaking. Wake up, miss white smiles: If you want to take off the yellows from your teeth, then brush some baking soda and let them stay for about 8 minutes. Afterwards, thoroughly rinse your mouth. Do not perform this beauty tip more than once a week, it will negatively affect the structure of your enamel. Work on your complexion :During the day, sunlight might disable some face creams from working effectively on your complexion. Make the most use of night and apply a face cream containing retinal and vitamin C. Lengthen your lashes : Eye lashes depth and grace to your eyes. You might feel that working on your lashes will require way too much effort. But, much to your surprise, everything your lashes need is contained in a natural ingredient - castor oil. Consisting of Omega-3 fatty acids, which are highly hydrating, they will avoid your lashes from breaking and also strengthen them. Apply castor oil on your lashes before you sleep and watch them grow thick and healthy within a few weeks! Taking care of your hair : Skim leave-in conditioner through your hair in the evening and let them stay on till the morning. This will let them become soft and shiny. You can also use coconut oil as an alternate conditioner. Readying your nails for polish : Depending on the skin type, the nails of certain people become dry. If you are one of them, it would be best to apply a cuticle cream or oil on them before you sleep to wake up to polish-ready nails.
5 tips to reduce your salt intakeSalt is an inevitable part of our food, but added salt has harmful effects on the body. The list of benefits in reducing sodium/salt intake in our diet runs long, ranging from lower blood pressure, in turn leading to reduced risks of heart disease, obesity, and diseases of the kidney. The daily sodium intake of an individual should not exceed 1500-2300 mg per day (a table spoon of salt approximately), and this needs to be maintained in the salt added to our food, including the processed food and drinks we buy. Sodium, an indispensable component of our diet, is consumed in excess by most of us. Follow the tips, as mentioned below, to curb your daily salt intake. Avoid added salt. Do not add salt to already cooked food while eating. Keep a diary and make a list of foods with salt in them that you eat daily. Do not forget to add pickles, spices, papads, salted biscuits, and salted nuts. All of these are highly loaded with salt. Next time you go shopping read the labels. Choose low-salt options-sauces, crackers, khakhra, instead of papad. Make an attempt to eat less canned and processed foods. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables over processed food. Eat less bread. Each bread slice has about 250 mg of sodium. Do not mistake bread to be healthy. Next time, keep this in mind when you go out to eat pizza. Pizza base is like bread. While cooking food, make it a point to add salt only towards the end in the recipe. This way you will need to add lesser salt. Sodium content of some foods Bread (one slice) - 250mg Cheese pizza: 450 - 1200mg Tomato soup: 350 - 1000mg Potato chips: 100 - 150mg
A primer on heart attacksIndians around the world have one of the highest rates of heart diseases. Heart attack, also called as myocardial infarction, is mainly caused by a blockage that prevents oxygen-rich blood supply to your heart muscle. In other words, it is the death of the heart muscle. What causes a heart attack? When cholesterol deposition, plaques of calcium and proteins on the walls of your coronary artery cause blockage of the artery, your heart fails to receive sufficient nutrient-rich blood. This leads to the permanent death of heart muscle, and it is unable to pump the blood to your vital organs. Symptoms that signal a heart attack   Chest pain is a symptom of a heart attack.  This pain can feel like tight ache, pressure on the heart as if an elephant is sitting across the chest. However, you may get confused with the symptom chest pain - whether it is a heart attack or an angina pain. Chest pain lasts for a longer time in heart attack whereas the chest pain in angina lasts for few seconds and goes away after rest. The pain experienced during a heart attack sometimes feels like indigestion or heart burn. Other warning signs of heart attack are: Shortness of breath. Lightheadedness or fainting. Upper body discomfort in arm, the back, neck, and jaw. Nausea, vomiting, dizziness. Sleep problems or fatigue. Not every person will have the same symptoms of the heart attack. But if you have any of these warning signs, you have to act fast and get the right treatment.
How to talk about STDsThese are dangerous times that we live in. Just the sheer number of people affected by sex related problems, diseases and conditions all over the world is simply terrifying. AIDS, venereal infections like syphilis and gonorrhea, herpes, HPV etc. are rampant and it calls for some responsible sexual behavior. However, that's a utopian world where humans will be monogamous and will behave responsibly. Even single people might get exposed to these diseases through indulging in risky sexual contact. Imagine doling out $750,000, as a woman in the US got from her husband because he gave her herpes. Even if you are not held legally accountable, what about moral responsibility to own up and discuss a possible STD infection with your partner! Take the case of Jack a happily married man for ten years who had casual sex when out of town on an official trip. He showed no obvious symptoms of any infection but in a month, his wife showed signs of herpes and his marriage crumbled as his wife struggled to come to terms with her husband's obvious infidelity and his callous manner in exposing her to a serious sexual infection. Call it ignorance but sometimes a person might engage in sexual intercourse and contract a disease which he might even not be aware of until the symptoms start appearing. (Refer article on Syphilis on www.topdoctorsonline.com) By then, he might have, in all probability, passed it on to his regular sexual partner or spouse. Or perhaps, there is another possibility that the person knows that he has contracted a sexual infection but doesn't know how to break the news to his partner.  If a person is aware of his infection, yet exposes another person knowingly, it is akin to premeditated murder. Yes, it is going to be a difficult thing to tell your partner which might even signal the end of the relationship or cause severe strain on it. So, if you are caught in a situation like this, what would you do? The option would be to visit a sex therapist and confide in him and then take an appointment for both and let the professional break it to the partner. That is of course if you are in a stable relationship. For those who both party to casual sex, the infected person generally won't be that open about his infection and may even choose not to care particularly if the other person is a complete stranger. A report in MedlinePlus news reveals some more shocking statistics: Many people said they occasionally, rarely or never got tested before having sex with casual partners (50 percent) or long-term partners (39 percent). Of the people who did discuss STD testing, very few discussed concurrent sexual partners or when partners' testing occurred in relation to their last sex act. Only half explained what types of STDs their partner had been tested for. These issues are important components of assessing STD risk, the researchers said. About one-third of participants reported telling a partner they didn't have an STD even though they hadn't been tested since their last sexual partner. One U.S. woman was awarded $750,000 in court from her ex-husband because he gave her herpes, and the legal trend is to make people accountable. (http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/how-to-talk-to-a-partner-about-stds.html) Remember even wearing a condom is not a 100% guarantee that the infection won't pass on to the other person but that's the least that you can do if you don't have the courage to spill the beans about your condition. If you feel that your partner may be indulging in sexual activity with multiple partners and if you feel he might be infected, then you are well within your rights to decline to have sex with him until he/she gets tested. If you notice sores around the genitals do not indulge in oral or anal sex or any kind of sex and insist on a condom always; it could save your life.
Reasons for skipping sexThe most important satisfaction brick in a marriage's foundation, sex is where we show the greatest trust, most openly express intimacy and make ourselves most vulnerable. It is the most personal and private area of our relationship. It is the one area that separates this relationship from all others. Yet, there are times for both husbands and wives when sex becomes a burden and not a blessing, an inconvenience instead of intimacy, and a job instead of jubilee. Curious as to why people might be skipping sex? This is only a partial list and far from exhaustive. Reasons related to your body: I have a migraine. I have a stomachache. My body is too tired. My breasts are too sore. I am too sleepy. I can't keep my eyes open. I just need to take a little nap first. Okay, but I have a rash. Okay, but I have several weird looking cold sores. Reasons related to your emotions: I am depressed. I am worried. I am sad. Cry Reasons related to your kids: The kids are still up. We might wake up the kids. I just had a baby. This baby is wearing me out. Reasons related to your experts: My therapist said I need to give myself some time. My counselor said I should create some boundaries. I have to see my Gynecologist tomorrow. The Doctor gave me these sleeping pills for stress and I just took one. Reasons related to your spouse: Who was that girl / guy you were talking to on the phone? Sex, Sex, Sex All you ever want is sex! Why can't you just hold me? You should have asked in a more romantic way! Why do you have to use such crude language? Reasons related to your weather: It's just too hot. It's just too cold. It's too humid. Reasons related to your economy: When the economy improves. When the interest rates go down. When inflation goes down Reasons related to your special circumstances: We just got back from vacation! When I lose 20 kgs. Reasons related to your friends: I need to make a call first. My friend said they only do it once a month. Reasons related to your pets: The dog can see us. The cat is on the bed. Reasons related to your finances: Okay, but first we need to talk about the bills. Why did you charge this hotel room on our credit card? Reasons related to your job or boss: I have to get up early tomorrow. I was up all night last night. I had a long day at work today. The boss just gave me a new project and I have a lot of work to do Reasons related to your religion: Doesn't the Bible warn against having too much sex. I am sorry, but I just took a vow. I am giving up sex for Lent. Reasons related to your in-laws: We are in your parent's house. I have not been able to concentrate since your mother Your parents will hear us. Offer an alternative: Can I just take care of you in the shower? Okay, but you have to drive the kids to school in the morning. Use evasive tactics: Sneak in and go to sleep early. Okay, but let's watch this movie first. It's just too late. I'll be there in a minute. (Take an hour) Can we just cuddle? I just need you to hold me. Ask a sensitive question: Did you go to the bank and make our deposit today? Have you seen the kid's report cards? Wait for your spouse to tease you and then say coldly, well, you just lost whatever you were going to get tonight.
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