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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Perfect partners in crime - Midlife crisis and dementiaThe responses we have to common stressful events in our daily lives have a lasting impact on our brain structure. The effects of a stressful event last a very long time, though apparently we seem to have recovered from it. Researchers say that the stress hormones keep circulating in our body long after the stress has passed. According to a recent Swedish research study, our response to common life events may trigger long-lasting physiological changes in the brain. These interestingly shocking findings come from the Prospective Population Study of Women in Gothenburg, a long term study on 800 women that lasted for almost forty years. The women who were a part of this study were all born before 1930, and underwent regular neuropsychiatric tests. The study started in 1968 assessed women for any baseline stressors like workplace problems, widowhood, alcoholism and illness in the family. Women who had serious issues at the start of the study had a 21% higher risk of developing Alzheimer's Disease and 15% higher risk of developing dementia later on in life. Interestingly, having to take care of a mentally ill family member like a sibling or mother, was found to be a major cause for development of dementia later on in life. The findings of this study show that accumulated stress from common life events has severe physiological and psychological consequences. These physiological consequences include adverse effects on the central nervous, cardiovascular and endocrine and immune systems. There have been several studies that state that the effects of stressful events like earthquakes, cyclones and floods can have a lasting impact on life and often shape the person's personality. What makes this study interesting is its finding that daily stressors accumulated over a period of time and often left unresolved, have a lasting impact that shows up in later stages of life!
Pregnancy myths bustedChances of getting pregnant each month gets increased by 50% in the women of the age of early 20's: This not right, for a women to get pregnant is not easy. When a woman is below 25 the chances of hitting baby bingo are only 20 to 25 %, while the women above 35 years of age the chances are 15%.   The baby's gender could be understood by the shape and size of the belly. It is believed that woman carrying a girl has high belly: False again. The shape of belly depends on original shape of the abdomen, amount and the distribution of the fat, strength of the abdominal muscles, the number of babies conceived and the position of the baby... but in no way possible can the shape or size of a belly give away the sex of the baby inside.   The best fertility lubricant to be used for conceiving is saliva: This is totally wrong, actually saliva is the sperm killer, most of the lubricants and massage oil are also not good for fertility, so it is better to go without using any lubricant.   Sperm production is impaired by laptops: This is true. Heat is not good for male fertility when laptops are used on laps they may generate heat and affect the fertility. So it is good to use the laptops as desktops.   The conceiving period of most of the couples is 3 months: This is not right, most of the couples take about 6 - 12 months of active efforts to conceive if they are not having any fertility problems.   There are more chances of conceiving, if you do more sex on the fertile days: This is true, the man having normal sperm count to have sex during her partners fertile days is good for conception. Having everyday sex was suggested in earlier days but anything which is done in excess is always more.   The egg can be fertilized within two days after it is released: This not true, an egg has the shelf life of only 12 to 24 hour, and the sperm have to meet with egg within that time, though it has the shelf life of 3 days or more.   Position during conception matters: This is not true, the sperms which are healthy are good swimmers, they can make you pregnant in any condition.   Eating oysters is good for getting pregnant: This is true, oysters are the good source of zinc, which is the most fertile mineral, it is also a good booster for libido, it can be used by both sexes.   Having cough medicine is good for getting pregnant: This is true, cough expectorants loosens up the cervical mucus as it does with the mucus in the chest, and the looser cervical mucus gives the sperm an easier and faster way to get pregnant. But some cough medicines contains an antihistamine that dries up all the mucus, which makes for a difficult swim for the sperms.   The sex of the baby is known by the glow on the face of the mother: This is not true, as the morning sickness of the mother is stopped, she starts eating well, the blood circulation also improves and in general the mother feels good, which gives the glow on the face. There is no relation between the glow on face and delivery of a baby.   The baby having lots of hair causes heartburn to their mother: Completely false, heartburn is the common complaint of the mother during pregnancy, this is due to reflux in oesophagus, in this the food particles come up through the food pipe and due to its acidic nature it causes heart burn. There is no relation between baby having lots of hair and heartburn.   The food intake of the pregnant woman should be doubled, for baby and the mother: This is not true, the pregnant woman, should take a balanced nutritious diets containing ample of proteins, vitamins, and minerals, small meals should eaten for every two hours rather than eating only 3 times the bulky meals.   Labor can be induced having sex during pregnancy: Not true, if the woman is physically fit during pregnancy can have sex as advised by the doctor only the position during sex should be taken care of, it should not cause discomfort to the woman.   Regular breastfeeding is a barrier for getting pregnant: Again a myth, the women can get pregnant even in the lactational ammenorrhea before the first menstrual cycle. You should always use contraception to avoid pregnancy.   Using computer during pregnancy can harm baby: This is not true, there may be backache if you continuously work for a long time on computer, but there is no direct effect of computer on the baby.   Source: What to Expect Before You're Expecting
Obesity is not just an adult problemWith fast food chains multiplying in the country faster than you can say Maharaja Mac, there is an urgent need to monitor our diet. While most of the nutritional advice is directed at adults, kids too are exposed to the dangers of empty calories. Childhood obesity is on the rise across the world including India. How does obesity affect children? And what can parents do to ensure this doesn't happen? We will try to answer some of your questions. What are the causes of obesity in children? Lack of physical activity: Nowadays, children spend more time sitting at home - doing their homework, watching TV, and playing games on PC, console tablets or smartphones. Play time on the ground outside has shrunk. As a result, they don't get enough exercise. Unhealthy food choices: Our busy lifestyles leave us with little time to plan for or prepare every meal. The alternative is to go for quick-to-cook food like Maggi. Food ordered from outside too is invariably unhealthy. While having it once in  few days is not a problem, making it a way of life leads to problems. Overweight parents: The eating pattern and lifestyle of parents has a big influence on a child's health and weight. Obesity can be hereditary. Lifestyle and environment: When parents are unable to pay much attention on their children due to their busy schedules. As a result children rely more on ready-to-eat food or junk food. Genetic factors:  For some kids, genetic factors may be the reason behind obesity. A rare genetic disorder called as Prader-Willi syndrome causes severe weight gain in kids. What health problems can obesity cause among children? Type-2 diabetes Eating disorders like bulimia or binge eating (excessive eating or drinking) Problems with foot structure Liver problems Respiratory disorders - breathlessness during exercise Difficulty in breathing while sleeping causing snoring or poor sleep What can parents do to prevent or control obesity in children? Parents must make kids understand the ill-effects of eating junk food. They must limit their snacking on junk foods. Encourage the kids to participate in physical activities and outdoor games. Make exercising a routine for the children. Join them during exercising to make it a fun time for the family. Set an example for your kids by following a healthy diet and eating habits yourself. Limit TV time and playing videogames. Parents must include whole grains, fruits and vegetables in the diet of their children. Limit fats intake to not more than 25%-30% of total calories. Make sure to go through the nutritional label while purchasing any processed food.  
Dealing with obsessive thinking and worriesAn old adage goes - 'Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere'. This is absolutely true for many of us who have developed the habit of worrying unnecessarily over outcomes and circumstances. Thinking about things and over our course of action is a good thing because you should always think twice before acting. What about obsessive thinking? Is it good for you? Anything in extremity is a bad thing, whether it is your favorite food or your thoughts. Worrying incessantly is a part of obsessive thinking where you cannot let go of negative thoughts and they circulate in your mind continuously. Obsessive thinking is a negative infinite loop, a broken record that is stuck without having anyone to click the stop button. So how should you deal with this obsessive thinking that is sure to spell your doom in the long run? Though psychologists have devised various scientific methods of overcoming obsessive thoughts and worries, here we have listed down some easy to follow rituals that will help you deal with such worries and thoughts. Meditation - Yoga swears by the art of meditation as it is thought to release all negative energy from the mind and soul. Concentrating on your breathing and also absorbing a positive source of energy is the essence of meditation. So whenever you are obsessed about something, sit down, calm your nerves and meditate. Physical activity - Exercising always helps. Engage in physical activity which increases the body's metabolism and requires effort. Indulge in those dance lessons or swimming or maybe cycling and you will divert your mind from those negative thoughts. Indulge in your hobbies - So you thought you don't have time for your hobbies, but your hobbies relax your mind and body. Moreover, a hobby also takes out the creative side in you. So, whether you like to collect coins or stamps, or lean towards arts and crafts, a hobby is sure to occupy your mind and take you away from worries. Socialize - Friends and relatives are your lifeline as they help you in those tough situations. Even if you are mentally not at peace, making social calls on your friends and relatives will take the edge off.  Try to meet people who can empathize with you and help you move out of it. Socializing will give you that much needed break from the vicious cycle of your thoughts. Though a short-term relief, going out for movies or taking a weekend getaway with your near and dear ones or even indulging your wife in shopping, can be helpful. Confide - Talking to someone close who understands you helps you in expressing your troubles. Thinking obsessively, you usually tend to ignore your feelings and emotions. Your mind remains trapped in the net of those obsessive thoughts and your emotional well-being takes a backseat. When you talk to another person, he or she will hear you out and help you relieve the stress that is on your mind. They would understand your state of well-being and support you emotionally. Be mindful - You may find it easy to go back into the same negative thought process. Don't let your mind chatter. Stop your mind by standing up for yourself. Stand in front of the mirror and say, "I am not a victim. I have the power and strength to move ahead" Do this whenever you become aware that you are going back into the same thought process.  This will give you the mental strength needed to come out of it.  Be mindful and aware but don't be too harsh on yourself. Be responsible -Your mind can make you or break you. If you understand this truth you will find it easier to manage your thoughts. Take responsibility of your thoughts good or bad.  The mind can create thoughts to project blame or judgments about others.  When you own your thoughts, you will find it easier to shape them the way you want. Create a higher vision of your life - When you keep a higher vision in your life, you can move ahead easily.  By developing a higher vision, you are asking yourself, who am I?and finally working towards it. You take positive actions and thus there would be more gratitude for what you have and less resentment for things that do not work.   This stops your mind from working unnecessarily. Obsessive worrying is a psychological disorder which in extreme cases has to be dealt with pathologically. Do not let your condition to reach the extreme end of the spectrum. Follow the above mentioned suggestions and try to deal with those thoughts yourself. It may take some time but rest assure, it will be effective in the long run.
Anxious about anxiety?Anxiety disorder is a term that almost everyone has heard and experienced in some form or the other. It is a generic term used to describe different forms of a mental disorder wherein those afflicted show typical characteristics of great apprehension, fear and trepidation. The symptoms, of course, vary depending on the severity of the affliction. So you can have 'anxious moments' when you narrowly escape an accident while driving - that's temporary and natural, while some others might have chronic anxiety which might need medical aid. Types of anxiety disorders Generalized anxiety disorder: There is no specific reason for the symptoms of anxiety i.e. restlessness, apprehension, worry, and panic. Thus the term general anxiety disorder (GAD) is any irrational worry which is disproportionate to the source of anxiety. GAD is a state of perpetual irrational and persistent fear which absorbs a person's time or can disrupt his normal functioning. The symptoms of GAD are light headedness, sweating, difficulty breathing, nausea, and numbness. Phobias: Phobias are an irrational morbid fear for certain things or objects. The list of phobias is exhausting as it is anything that a human being is capable of being afraid of. Thus you have arachnophobia which is the fear of spiders, homophobia, which is the fear of homosexual people orxenophobia,the fear of foreigners. Phobias can completely paralyze and terrorize a person and is a form of anxiety disorder. Obsessive compulsive disorder: This is the classic loop where a person is afraid of certain situations arising constantly and thus takes precautionary measures to ensure that it won't. Only thing is that this turns in to a compulsive ritual which can throw her in a loop. Thus a person can be said to have OCD if she persistently checks to see if the gas valve is off as she has a fear that she will set fire to her home. It is a particularly distressful anxiety disorder. Post-traumatic stress disorder: This is anxiety arising out of a traumatic incident which the person undergoes. It could be a horrific accident or an extremely brutal incident which the person has witnessed. The trauma is revisited again and again in the mind and manifests as anxiety. This disorder is based on real events that the person has experienced or undergone and can take a long time to heal. Panic disorder: This is characterized by panic attacks or episodes where great terror or discomfort is experienced. It is a very unsettling experience as the patient feels he is about to go unhinged or something dangerous or embarrassing is going to happen to him. Thus the sensation or feelings of panic build up and reach a crescendo resulting in a panic attack. Sometimes in a panic attack, the patient's reality and perceptions are distorted and blurred and can thus put him in danger. According to the National Institute of Mental Health there could be a number of reasons for anxiety disorders. They vary from early childhood environment to lifestyle causes, heredity and even environment.    
10 bedtime beauty essentials! Here are the beauty essentials you need to take into consideration, before you hit the bed: Baby-soft soles :Before you sleep, apply Vaseline on the sole of your feet. This will adequately moisturize your soles and you can wake up to the great opportunity of wearing those heels you have been dying to try out! Healing the puffy eyes : If you are worried about waking up with puffy and tired eyes (even after 6 to 8 hours of sleep), then put on a little eye cream. You can also keep an extra pillow and make sure you sleep on your back. This will allow the fluids around your eyes to drain easily and reduce the puffiness. Trying out wavy hairstyle : Bedtime is the best time to work on your hairstyle. Before you sleep, shower and fashion your hair into the style you want. Apply a styling cream on your hair gradually, after having air-dried it. Now, decide if you would like to put them up in buns or braids. Stylize them into the pattern and wake up to wavy hair! Let your skin breathe : Those who are suffering from dry skin can apply moisturizer. A humidifier is also a great accessory for help in these cases. You can switch on the humidifier before you go to sleep. This will help your skin to retain its moisture through appropriate hydration. Keep aging at bay :Did you know that sleeping on cotton pillowcases can increase the chances of creases and wrinkles on your skin? Prevent wrinkles by using silk or satin bed clothing. This will also reduce hair breaking. Wake up, miss white smiles: If you want to take off the yellows from your teeth, then brush some baking soda and let them stay for about 8 minutes. Afterwards, thoroughly rinse your mouth. Do not perform this beauty tip more than once a week, it will negatively affect the structure of your enamel. Work on your complexion :During the day, sunlight might disable some face creams from working effectively on your complexion. Make the most use of night and apply a face cream containing retinal and vitamin C. Lengthen your lashes : Eye lashes depth and grace to your eyes. You might feel that working on your lashes will require way too much effort. But, much to your surprise, everything your lashes need is contained in a natural ingredient - castor oil. Consisting of Omega-3 fatty acids, which are highly hydrating, they will avoid your lashes from breaking and also strengthen them. Apply castor oil on your lashes before you sleep and watch them grow thick and healthy within a few weeks! Taking care of your hair : Skim leave-in conditioner through your hair in the evening and let them stay on till the morning. This will let them become soft and shiny. You can also use coconut oil as an alternate conditioner. Readying your nails for polish : Depending on the skin type, the nails of certain people become dry. If you are one of them, it would be best to apply a cuticle cream or oil on them before you sleep to wake up to polish-ready nails.
Sunburn: Overview and treatmentSunburns could also be accompanied by allergic responses to medicines, exposure to sun and sunscreen products, sight-related issues like reduced or complete loss of vision, as well as heatstroke. Over a long period of time, frequent cases of sunburn can result in cold sores, cataracts, skin cancer, and lupus.  The factors which will decide the vulnerability to sunburns are: Type of skin - The type of skin determines the vulnerability and intensity of the sunburn. The most vulnerable groups are those with freckled and fair skin as well with blonde or red hair. Regardless of the color of the skin, all skin types are vulnerable to skin cancer and proper sun protection must be used during times of sun exposure. Season - Summer days carry with them a higher probability of burning the skin. UV Index - This refers to the forecast of the strength of UV light on a particular day. This will let you know the cautionary measures you need to take in order to avoid skin damage. This is put forward on a scale of 0 to 11+ with 0 being the lowest exposure. Latitude - As you move to locations closer to the equator, the sunlight directly passes through the atmosphere to a greater extent. Age - Those who are younger than 6 years of age and those over 60 years are at a greater risk of getting sunburns. Altitude - As you climb higher and higher, the chances of sunburn are also greater since the amount of Earth's atmosphere to keep away the sunlight reduces. Every elevation of approximately 1000 feet, the UV exposure is amplified by about 4%. Location - If you are close to reflective surfaces like snow, water, ice, concrete and white sand, rays of the sun which get reflected off these might harm you. Time of the day - The rays of the sun are strongest between 10 in the morning and 4 in the evening. Though, the probability of getting sunburn are lower on cloudy days, it is possible for the UV rays of the sun to pass through the clouds and negatively affect your skin health. Here are the precautionary steps you can take to avoid getting sunburn: Avoid staying in the sun for a long period of time. Make use of sunscreen and choose clothing which cover your skin. In case you are suffering from sunburn, here are ways to treat it: An over-the-counter pain reliever: In order to lower the inflammation and relieve pain, use ibuprofen or aspirin. Anti-inflammatory condiment: Cortisone cream and aloe vera are two primary ways of reducing the inflammation. Cool bath: Take bath for about 10-20 minutes in water of cool temperature (make sure the water is not too cold). This will cut back the pain and irritation in affected area.  Do not use any bath oil, soap or detergent as this might increase the chances of allergic reactions and irritation to the injury. When drying yourself after the bath, do not rub with towel. Cold compressions: Try application of cold and wet compressions on the concerned region for about 20-30 minutes. Adequate hydration: Make sure you drink at least 8-12 glasses of water to help your skin to recover from the sun damage. Moisturizer: Once your skin begins to heal, use a gentle moisturizer without any scent. Blister treatment: In case you have blisters, do not try to pop them. This will lead to infection and marks.However, if you have large blisters which require to be drained, then pop them using a sterilized needle. Follow this by cleaning the area dry with gauze. After applying ointment to the area (Aloe vera or antibiotic ones like bacitracin and polymyxin B), wrap the area loosely using a gauze bandage. Make sure you do not tie it tightly and change the gauze daily to avoid infection. Medical attention: In case you feel nauseous along with fever, rashes and chills, then make a visit to the doctor. The following symptoms also require you to seek medical attention immediately: Pain in eyes with sensitivity to light, dizziness, high thirst without proper urination, painful blisters, and pale/cool skin.
Adrenaline rush - Feel it inside!Imagine yourself at a great height, either scaling a dangerous cliff-hanger of a rock face or on a bungee jumping platform. Some of us who have had the pleasure of doing high adventure sports like racing or indulging in perilous activities like giving out an acceptance speech for the first time are well aware of that strange feeling in the solar plexus, the clammy hands and intensely thudding heart, and the rush of blood to the head just as you are about to take the plunge! The heart beats faster than ever, breathing goes rampant, the senses seem to become supercharged, and the fear, the joy, and the excitement meddles with the mind. That’s adrenaline rush! So what do you want to do? Fight? Or flight? Either ways, adrenaline does it for you. Speaking medically, the two small adrenal glands on top of the pair of kidneys release a magic chemical that gives the animals way towards the fight-or-flight response to counter certain high-intensity situations, called adrenaline or epinephrine. The chemical entity is a hormone, a neurotransmitter as well as a medicine and is too complex to explain its behavior. However, when it works the heart pumps out the blood to the excited muscles and all the juices surge up inside the body. There is more to this topic than just the physiological mumbo-jumbo. The hormone acts every day in the normal course of life, but not regularly to the extent when it produces side effects such as shakiness, palpitation, high anxiety, and profuse sweating! Thats kept for special situations like physical threat, excitement, bright lights, noise, and really high temperature – in good or bad ways. Let us surf through some of the rewarding and a few of the nasty situations where the jolting juice takes charge of our body! The Good ones: Countering Stress: In extreme stress conditions like accidents or fracture, the body needs to react fast and is at its highest awareness. Adrenaline keeps the muscles up and kicking to help the victim fight with the stress. High Energy Requirement: In majority of sports, more specifically in contact sports like Rugby, Boxing, Mixed Martial Arts, etc., the player needs to be in his full sense and topmost concentration level. The adrenaline rush runs in the background to keep them at their extreme self. The Push Mode: Often the daily chores aren enough to excite us and we tend to search for some adventure. In such pursuit of excitement, there are times when the road is a dead end or there is only one way forward – the impossible or most difficult one! The hormone pumps the brain both ways with fear and with the push to conquer the fear and proceed. Adventure Sports often sounds fun, but at times when running ahead of a raging bull, or hanging off a cliff, or rafting down the rough waters of a cascade – feels like the heart shall come out and scream!! It is the rush of adrenaline that keeps one ahead of the fear and explore the high-energy fun of winning over it. Life Saving Moments: In cases of life-threatening emergencies such as drug overdose, cardiac arrest, or pulmonary failure, where the heart and lungs suddenly cease to function and the body gets into a shock –– the epinephrine shots are considered as a life-saving medication to bring the patients back to life (only to be used judiciously by a qualified medical practitioner). The important medical use of adrenaline is in treatment of acute anaphylaxis and allergies under medical supervision. The Bad Ones: Disorders of the Adrenal: Tumors and cancers of the adrenal gland can cause hyperactivity of this high-performance hormone affecting the normal functioning of the heart and the blood vessels by increasing heart rate and creating anarchy in the body systems. Over-Stressed Adrenaline Rush: The demand-supply mismatch in the present world scenario requires one to perform at his/her epitome of mental and physical strengths. In that constant urge of performance, the brain and the body is stressed out so intensely that the adrenaline surge symptoms are experienced by the individual even in the absence of threatening situations. Sudden sweating of palms, shortness of breath, pounding heartbeats, or chest pains without a justifiable reason can be a result of constant stress.
All you need to know about angioplasty!Why would you need coronary angioplasty? The walls of the arteries are being constantly lined with a fatty material called plaque. This plaque increases in certain conditions like atherosclerosis. When the build-up is too high, the artery gets blocked and the subsequent tissue receives very less or no blood, causing it to die. The plaque at times may be dissolved by medicines but if it is too big, medicines prove ineffective. This is manifested outwardly as a heart attack. This is the time when the doctor would recommend the coronary angioplasty as a treatment for you. How is it done? A thin catheter with a deflated tiny balloon at one end is inserted into the affected artery. Once the exact location of plaque build-up is reached, the balloon is inflated causing the plaque to get pushed against the artery wall and creating free space for the blood to flow. A small mesh called a stent may be placed to hold the artery in place. Some stents are coated with medicines that prevent the scar tissue formation following the angioplasty procedure. The procedure may be done as an emergency or it may be planned. If it is a planned procedure: You will have to get hospitalized and stop eating or drinking 6 to 8 hrs before the procedure. Once the procedure is done, the doctor would prefer you staying in the hospital overnight to watch for any adverse events that may happen. What happens after the surgery? The surgery lasts for 1 to 2 hours and you would be allowed to go home the next day. You will be advised not to undergo vigorous and strenuous exercises and to rest adequately. Most people are fit to return to work a week after the surgery.
The earlier yearsSexual concerns experienced during the drastic body changes and feelings of adolescence are often carried into adulthood. Sexual desires are powerful and frequently go beyond the earlier popular forms of sexual expression - kissing, hugging and petting without being aware of the consequences. Anxiety the commonest case of erectile dysfunction is compounded by the present life style - get-togethers, parties, with alcohol and drugs, visits to sex workers or massage parlours which offer other sexual services leading to unplanned, unprotected sex. Consequently seen are unwanted pregnancy, abortions, drug addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, anxiety and depression leading sometimes to suicide. Males seem to have more concerns then females. A common concern is nocturnal emission (night fall, Swapana Dosh) of semen and length of penis. Nocturnal emission of spermatic fluid is falsely believed to weaken a person. Really all that's happening is that excess of sperms is being thrown out to make place for the new ones. The length of the penis troubles many. Young people fall prey to advertisements that claim to lengthen it. The fact of the matter is that a penis an erection of 2.5 wide (10cms) is enough for a sexual intercourse for a person who knows the art to satisfy a partner. Ignorance about masturbation is widely prevalent among males of all ages leading to guilt, anxiety, depression and at times to suicide. Older men erroneously think their cause of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation is masturbation. Masturbation is a highly pleasurable act in males. It does not harm the body or exhaust the sperms. In fact it is a safe way to satisfy. Females also masturbate but the percentage to men is much less. They also seem more comfortable with the activity. Masturbation has gone through years of superstition fear of ill effects, considered as a unhealthy practice and considered sin by some religions. Fifty or more years ago doctors and activities thought it caused harm to the body. It is said that corn flakes, the popular breakfast cereal was specifically formulated by Mr. Keleog to help a person not to masturbate. Today thinking has changed. It is now thought that it is an activity that does not cause any harm to the body. It does not finish all the vital sperms over the years so that it will not hinder having children in future. Its wide misuse is common. Persons use it indiscriminatingly when they cannot sleep, when they are tense for e.g. before an examination, some do it more than four to six times a day, which only indicates their immaturity. When done to satisfy a natural sexual urge it is a healthy activity. It keeps the person safe from infection and is said to teach the person skill for sexual intercourse. Technology has helped in many ways but sometimes it creates problems. A person hooked on to porno sites to arouse his desire is found to cause a loss of self confidence conflict with the partner sexual intimacy and intercourse. Before marriage or a partnership both male and female have concerns. Females if they have a previous partner but are getting married to another worry about the husband finding out of their loss of virginity, others worry about the size of their breasts, excessive hair on body or excessive fear of pain at intercourse. Men worry about whether their penis is long enough whether their long standing masturbation will hinder intercourse or prevent them of being a father. The absent hymen a false notion for virginity can be congenitally absent, split by exercise like swimming, cycling etc. or most commonly by masturbation. The hymen therefore is no proof of virginity. Learning to do with what they have making full use of their points and feeling comfortable and proud of their bodies help a lot to overcome the concern. Adopting a safe sex policy is best achieved by masturbation; avoiding sex with an unknown person and multiple partners; during intercourse with sex workers not using condoms every time and being careful of oral sex. Satisfying each other by caressing, hugging, kissing etc. with clothes on is safe; without clothes extra vaginal sex by mutual masturbation is safe with a trusted partner and finally not so safe is vaginal intercourse unless done with a condom correctly worn.
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