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Career advice for menGetting a job these days is extremely difficult. What is even more difficult is sticking around long enough at the job. No one is indispensable, and if you don't perform well, there are hundreds more waiting to get the job! Being the bread winner, men have to face this pressure more. Here are some tips that would do you good, if followed: Cracking The Interview: The golden rule here is to be honest. The interviewers do not want to hear what will please them; So, do not try to butter them up. They are also put off by boasting . Therefore, be honest about your views and opinions. Age:wise Attitude- When you are young, and have just entered the company, it is highly advisable to observe and learn as much as you can. Find yourself a professional mentor who can guide you. Try and build on your professional presence. Be active, spend more time with your boss, be helpful to your juniors. The golden advice for all, irrespective of seniority, is to stay clear of office gossip and politics. Keep a check on the attitude: There is no need to be arrogant, and a know-it-all. Be friendly, confident, and genuine. Learn to say no: You need to have a pleasing personality. But, avoid trying to please all. Try and learn the art of saying no firmly. Too much of 'yes' will make people take you for granted, and you will find yourself overloaded with a lot of work. Do not under price yourself: If you feel that you deserve a raise, go ahead and ask for it. Do not be afraid to ask for your worth. Often at interviews, employers cancel out candidates who under price themselves, as it shows that they will probably not perform to the expected levels. Blow your trumpet: With all humility make sure you take what is rightfully yours. If you don't take credit for the work, no one will give it to you. Worse, someone else may take it! Create boundaries: Keep your work at office. Do not bring work home. Often at the outset, to please bosses, one ends up working overtime or worse, working at home. It is important to keep both the parts of your lives separate. Keep fit too: Don't let your job take a toll on your health. Working late, sitting at the same place for hours, can be harmful for the heart. Learn to unwind periodically. Setting goals is easy. What is needed is the determination to follow the rules you have set for yourself. The way to success at work is taking the ladder, one step at a time. There is no elevator here.
Health check up checklist for men Prostate Cancer - Prostate cancer is the lesser known killer in men. It is a slow growing cancer, but at times, its symptoms can be aggressive as well. Detecting prostate cancer at its onset can help in treating it effectively. Tests include a digital rectal exam and a blood test for Prostate Specific Antigens (PSA). Testicular Cancer - This uncommon cancer can affect any male between the ages 21 to 55. A physical exam during yearly medical checkups is recommended for all men. Men having a higher risk, with family history, should speak to their doctors regarding additional tests for screening. Self-examination through regular gentle palpation of the testicles to notice any change in shape or size, presence of lumps is also suggested by doctors. Colorectal Cancer - This is the second most common cancer in men. Men over 50 and younger, if they have a familial risk, are suggested to get a screening colonoscopy done to detect this cancer. It usually starts as a polyp that grows and invades the nearby areas to develop into a full-blown cancer. The polyps, if detected early, can be removed and cancer prevented. A CT scan or a double barium enema can also help in detecting polyps. High Blood Pressure - With the kind of lifestyle men lead today, almost every other man is bound to have BP issues. Regularly checking the BP is essential as it helps detect high BP which may lead to a variety of other problems including stroke and heart attacks. The sooner the detection, the sooner the measures for control. Cholesterol Levels - Bad eating habits, sedentary lifestyle, and mental stress can all lead to lots of cholesterol roaming around in your arteries. This will eventually clog the arteries and cause diseases like high blood pressure and atherosclerosis which can be life-threatening. Get your total cholesterol, LDL, VLDL, HDL, and triglyceride levels checked regularly and initiate timely interventions to bring them under control. HIV - This is the most commonly spreading STD among men. Due to its chronic nature, HIV is often detected accidentally when it may be too late. Regular tests for HIV detection are essential if one is physically active with multiple partners. Be safe though and use a condom. Glaucoma - It is extremely common and is one of the leading causes of blindness. Glaucoma has no cure, but it can be controlled well with timely detection. Screening tests should be undertaken by men under 40 years at an interval of 2 to 3 years after 35. A yearly test is recommended for older men.
Even women can kick up a storm - Martial arts and the modern womanMartial arts! Yup you have seen enough of Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet-Li films on the telly to know there is a lot of hard work involved. All that glass breaking, torso-twisting, nun chucks, whirling to kicking ten opponents at once. Is that all for real? Can a dainty woman go about hurling armed robbers off their shoulders? Or does that happen only in Kung Fu films with real weird names like 'Shaolin Temple Monks down ....' or something equally corny. That apart! Won't you need to learn a bit of Chinese or Japanese to even imitate those shrieks that women in those films emit? Worse still! Imagine they will need sub-titles to even know that you mean business! Jokes apart and no offense to the masters of Muay Thai, Akido and Tae Kwon Do! Martial arts is way beyond just fighting and is in fact a great way of disciplining the body, mind and soul. As a woman too martial arts can have a tremendous impact on your self confidence and awareness about dynamics of the mind. True what they show in martial arts film is all about smashing bones and tables but martial arts goes way beyond that. Through different movements, kicks and punches and holds one may learn to overpower an opponent using his own weight, but martial arts is ALL ABOUT CONQUERING THE SELF AND DESTROYING THE ENEMY WITHIN! So if you are intent on learning martial arts be ready for some action-packed exercise routines that Promote flexibility Increase strength, stamina and endurance Help you gain better control over yourself Help you deal with any problem that life may throw your way Help you be competitive and assertive There are different types of martial arts which have evolved over several centuries. The main forms are Kung-Fu, Karate, Akaido, Judo, Tae Kwon Do, Kalayraipatu amongst others. There is also centuries of philosophies behind the exercises recommended by these disciplines. Some martial arts concentrate only on unarmed combat while there are others which blend both armed combat with weapons like swords, sticks and nun chucks. Martial arts can indeed go a long way today in equipping women with the art of warfare so that they can defend themselves against any assailant armed or unarmed. It will go a long way in shaping societies and culture if the womenfolk are empowered both physically and mentally too. These days it is not uncommon to see martial arts blended with aerobics dance steps. It may not exactly be pure martial arts but that too isn't a bad idea at all. It will only go a long way in developing interest in these ancient art forms and help in their promotion. Just as much as any martial arts movie can. Or maybe even more!
Ageing gracefully and happilyEverywhere we look there are constant reminders that we are growing old each passing day. There are creams that tell us that will make our wrinkles vanish and make us look younger. There are hair care products dyes that claim to cover our grey hair so that we can look and feel young. Our doctors tell us about how we have to take care of all our body parts to keep several diseases at bay in the old age! It is a rare and difficult attainment to grow old happily and gracefully. Is there anything good about old age? It doesn't seem so, going by the look of things. Here we give you 5 reasons that will make you look forward to old age! Old age is the happiest time in life: You are constantly living life to the fullest when you are young. Survival is your prime priority. You work hard to keep yourself and your family happy and financially stable. Too many responsibilities bog you down. Old age is the time when there is nothing of this sort. You are retired, free from all responsibilities. You have passed the baton to the younger lot. Now is the time to sit back and enjoy. Now is the time to relax and do the thing you always wanted to do. Imagine living with not a care in the world? That is old age for you. Old age is when the brain functions the best: It is a proven fact now. It was believed that we lose more brain cells as we age. Now it has been proven that our cognitive functions peak between the ages of 48 to 60. Old people make the wisest and toughest decisions quickly. People may call them worldly wise. Have you ever given a thought to how all the judges are old men? And how when someone says the word 'wise' the picture formed is usually of an old man with a beard? No more fashion policing: When you are young, there is a lot of stereotyping involved! Going to a board meeting, wear formals? Going for a lunch meeting, wear something that is suitable keeping in mind the place. Are you at a certain position in life? Dress accordingly! So many restrictions! Old age comes with none of this. You can wear what you please and no one will really mind! Only when you actually get to do it will you realize how much f a relief it is! Relationships improve: According to a 2011 study; married oldies are more satisfied and positive about their marriages than young couples are. Arguments involve less anger, and senior spouses show more positive emotions and affection than middle-aged couples. It's not only marriages, however, that benefit in older age. Seniors also seem to be happier with their other social relationships too. They have a smaller but closer circle of friends and gain more benefits from these close, emotional bonds. Old Age makes you feel better on the whole: You have lived life to its fullest, your kids have now flown the coop and you have seen it all. As you age, you start feeling better about things in general. You look at things more positively and make the fullest of every situation presented to you. You live in the moment and are not worried about future repercussions. Old age is a happy place to be. Look forward to aging positively.
Teenage troubles for autistic kidsTeenage brings along with it a lot of physical and psychological problems. Your body undergoes a lot of changes, the way the world looks at you is changing and you are not in the position to accept all this. Teenage is one of the most painful periods in one's life.  For an autistic child teenage can be compared to living a nightmare day in and day out. Here is a look at the problems of teenage from an autistic kid's point of view: Social Interaction The ability to interact socially is absent in autistic kids. They are loners who prefer to be left alone and undisturbed in their own worlds. Such a child is a natural target for bullying and ragging by other kids of his age group. At times even if the autistic child wants to come out and make friends, he is not able to do so due to lack of the required skills. Teenage is a period where you need at least one friend to confide in. It can be an extremely difficult phase when you are all alone. Puberty This is the dramatic time in life dilled with hormones and emotions. Your body undergoes lots of changes and you are confused about so many things. You don't know whom to ask or whom to turn to for guidance. Autistic children do not have the maturity to understand this phase. Special issues for autistic teens and sexuality include: Knowledge of physical changes in body. Knowledge of 'good' and 'bad' touch. Ability to communicate about a 'bad' touch or action. Keeping 'safe' distance from others. Handling menstrual cycles. Avoiding 'self-touch' in public. It can be a phase of emotional turmoil for the parents. They need to work closely with their child's special teachers to chalk out a plan that will be best suited to the child in handling puberty successfully. Self-help skills Simple self-help skills like hygiene can be a challenge for teenagers with autism. Improper motor skills, compliance, and sensory problems may interfere with a teen's progress. The proper training of hygiene and grooming can help to add these elements into the daily routine. The right approach is to simplify each task into simple small steps. The positive reward system is a great source of encouragement, as positive motivation always help the teenagers. Higher Functions Autistic teenagers are socially awkward. They lack the power to comprehend and process complex social cues which includes sarcasm, body language, humor, emotional responses and facial expressions. What complicates the problem is that the autistic child lacks empathy and hence may appear rude. Such kids are likely to be teased a lot in school settings.
Accepting your flawsThere are basically two kinds of 'flaws,' one that is physical and the other that is in your personality. A physical 'flaw' like being too short, fat, or darkis never a person's fault. Thus accepting what you are can only boost your self-esteem and confidence. Despite these 'shortcomings,' it is your character and your achievements that stand out in the long run and not the way you look. The first step in creating a better life is accepting if you are wrong! Personality traits and habits are mostly visible to others but not to you. These are those faults that can cause bitterness in relationships or cause problems at work or in our social interactions. Some people lose their temper easily, some are lazy, and some are rude, while some are either introverts or extroverts. If you have flaws that can cause problems for others then the best thing you can do is to change those negative traits in yourself. Character flaws might be natural, but they can affect others negatively. The first thing in making improvements is to analyze yourself. What are you so angry about ? Is it really some other person's fault or that you have had a bad day at the office? Give it a thought and once you find the answers, you will feel relieved. Accept your physical flaws and love yourself for what you are, as this is the key to lasting happiness. Major flaws like alcoholism, splurging money, borrowing money, or addictions are what one should be willing to overcome. If you accept you have any of these major flaws and need help to overcome them, then you need to seek help. There are professionals who can help out, provided you are a willing party to the process. Improvement will come only if you are willing to change. Remember that flaws are easy to acknowledge and to change;the only thing required is the desire within you to do so.
Not very chummy! Menophobia - The fear of periodsMenstruation or periods begin as female reaches puberty. This is the time when there are hormonal changes which occur in the body as nature takes the girl and makes her ready for womanhood. The onset of periods can be distressful with lots of mood swings accompanied by abdominal cramps, bloated feet as the menstrual blood flows. This is also a time when the girl needs to be comforted and educated the most, as it can be truly a terrifying experience. Normally mothers or elder women in the family ensure that they take complete care of the girl in this transition phase. For some women, their initial experience with periods may not have been particularly pleasant, causing them to actually dread those 4 days and this fear can then take the shape of a full blown phobia -Menophobia! The reason could vary. For some the pain factor could be the reason for menophobia, while for others, it could be the memory of embarrassing red stains on the clothes which could set it off. In menophobia, just before the onset of the periods, the person starts getting anticipatory anxiety and the pain which could be normal period pain, is then imagined to be ten times worse. This brings on panic attacks and feeling of utter dread which while is entirely psychological can be utterly distressful and downright crippling. Counseling can help greatly along with pain medication to manage the pain and the fear of this natural phenomenon called periods. In therapy, this is what is iterated. That menstruation is a completely natural process and if there is a fear of menstrual blood then gradually, the woman is encouraged to accept it as a natural body function which plays a major part of her being a woman.
Fair skin - A modern obsession!History of Complexion - Complexion generally refers to the natural color, appearance, and texture of the skin, particularly on the face. Originated from the late Latin term 'complexio', complexion is traditionally referred to the temperament which was determined on the basis of the proportion of qualities of hot, wet, dry, and cold in the human body. It was believed that the body carried these qualities depending on the climate in which the individual lived. Thus, a person living in a cold climate was seen to have 'colder and moister' complexion and so on. The biological facet of complexion mentioned below tells us how the skin adapts its color according to the climate it finds itself in. Moreover, it was also seen to represent the character of the person into different categories like melancholic, choleric, sanguine, and phlegmatic. Complexion was the center which reflected the qualities which make a balanced person. Skin color is determined by the presence of pigment melanin. Located in the outer skin layer called epidermis, it is produced by cells called melanocytes. These cells contain receptors which are photosensitive and which detect the ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sun and other factors. In response to this detection, they give out melanin after exposure. The Biology of Complexion - The complexion of the body ranges from very dark brown of Africa and Aboriginal Australia to pink with yellowish hue of the Northern Europeans. In actuality, there is no skin which is black, yellow, red or white in absolute - it is generally a hue of many colors with one dominating over the other. Our biological actuality is not reflected by the words we use for our complexion these days. Skin color is determined by the presence of pigment melanin. This pigment is under the control of 6 genes. Both complexions of dark and light have melanin. Spatially located in the outer skin layer (called epidermis), it is produced by cells called melanocytes. These cells contain receptors which are photosensitive and which detect the ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sun and other factors. In response to this detection, they give out melanin after exposure. Those in tropical latitudes, where there is highest exposure to sun, have darker skin which contains melanin acting as a protective biological envelope against UV radiation. This protective layer prevents sunburns and other damages including those that could increase the risk of melanoma. The UV radiation reaching the earth increases during summers and reduces in winters. The skin adapts to this change by tanning - tanning indicates that your skin is increasing the size and amount of melanin grains to protect against the UV. Thus, your skin color is essentially determined by genetics and the geography of the place you live in. Biological Fact to Social Conclusion - We generally mold the biological fact of adaptability of our skin into a social meter of beauty. The complexion is a biological wonder of the nature which allows the skin to absorb enough vitamin D, prevent many illnesses like anemia, osteoporosis, and rickets determined by its environment. Thus, to claim that a certain skin color is superior to others is to only deny the reality of biology related to our skin and body, thus falling into the fallacy of unjustifiably jumping from a biological fact to a social conclusion. The health of your skin must be the starting point to declaring its beauty, not a presupposed social standard unrepresentative of the reality of the body. Taking Care of Your Skin - Every skin color is determined by its biological framework placed within the environmental setup. It is essential to take care of your skin to ensure that it is healthy and well taken care of : Make sure you eat a well-balanced and nutritious diet. Stay away from junk and heavily processed food items. Sleep for at least 7-8 hours daily to ensure that your skin gets enough time to recharge its mechanism. Drink loads of water to keep your skin hydrated. Go through the daily care routine: cleanse, tone, moisturize, and exfoliate. Use rose water to remove your make-up and ensure that you do not go to bed with make-up on. Keep dirt and germs away from your skin. The best way is to avoid touching your face with hands when you are out. A clean environment is the fertile ground for a healthy skin. Make sure you wash your pillows, their covers and clean the house regularly to keep away pollutants. Stress is one of the main causes of your skin's health withering. Your skin is the outer reflection of your inner mental state. Work towards mental detoxification to cheer up your skin and body.
High fiber foods and their benefitsFiber has many health benefits and that is why it is important to include fiber in your diet. However, if you are not used to fiber in your diet then introduce it slowly or it could cause indigestion and gas. Fibers are good for overall health and help to boost the immune system and help prevent a number of diseases. The digestive health benefits of fiber : If bowel movements are regular, then fibers will prevent both constipation and diarrhea. Regular movements flush out excessive cholesterol as well as harmful toxins from the intestines which could also be carcinogenic. Fiber helps to reduce inflammation of the intestines, could bring relief from irritable bowel syndrome and prevent piles, ulcers, and acidity. The benefits to the heart Soluble fiber is good for the heart. Fiber reduces the bad cholesterol levels (LDL). It helps to lower blood pressure, improves the levels of good cholesterol (HDL). Fibers reduce the risk of stroke also. These factors are good for heart heath. Weight Loss Fiber can help you to lose weight as it makes you feel fuller for longer which means you will eat less. High-fiber fruits and vegetables have lower calories, so by adding these to your diet cuts calories which could aid in weight loss. Eat 21 to 38 grams of fiber per day depending on your age and gender. Diabetes If you already suffer from type II diabetes then you should have soluble fiber as it slows down the absorption of sugar and can help to maintain blood sugar levels. Regulating blood sugar can also reduce the risk of kidney and gallbladder stones. Cancer prevention Though research is still ongoing, but the general conclusion is that eating fiber foods keeps the colon in a better condition and this could prevent colon cancer. However, it does prevent digestive tract cancer. The more fiber you eat the more fluids you should drink as that helps to absorb fiber better. Good for the skin Eating fiber is good for the skin as they help to flush out toxins from your body which otherwise cause acne. Besides eating a lot of fruits and vegetables produce antioxidants that are good for your skin. Some tips Start your day with fiber as it keeps you full and sugar levels just right to keep you energetic. Try to replace white rice, bread, and pasta with brown rice and whole grain products. Eat seeds, nuts, and flaxseeds either whole or ground and sprinkle some on fruit, yoghurt, or cereal. Add beans and legumes to your diet as often as possible. Eat whole fruits instead of juice. Insoluble fiber can be found in foods like whole grains, wheat, cereals, and vegetables such as carrots, celery, and tomatoes. Whereas soluble fibers are found in barley, oatmeal, beans, nuts, and fruits such as apples, berries, citrus fruits, and pears. Foods like meat, dairy, and sugar have no fiber and some foods like white rice, white bread, and pastries have no fiber either because it has got removed because of refining.
Aids defining cancersIn fact the presence of such aids defining cancers is an indication of advanced AIDS having developed in these patients. However, the reasons for these cancers are unclear. It is possible that since people with AIDS have low immunity, they become more susceptible to these cancers. The double attack of these already complex diseases complicates treatment plans too. Thus, it needs care under experienced doctors who specialize in these diseases. The cancers that define AIDS are: Kaposi's Sarcoma:This is a type of skin cancer. It was usually found usually in people who have received organ transplants. Nowadays it is also most prevalent in homosexual men with HIV/AIDS and is also called epidemic Kaposi's Sarcoma.  It causes lesions to show up in multiple points in the body such as skin, lymph nodes, liver, lungs, spleen and digestive tract. Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma:This is the second most commonly associated cancer with HIV/AIDS. The various sub types of NHL are primary central nervous system lymphoma and primary effusion lymphoma. Approximately 4-10% people with HIV/AIDS develop NHL. Other kinds of cancers are anal cancer, liver cancer, mouth cancer, Hodgkin's lymphoma, testicular cancer, melanoma, throat cancer, colorectal cancer and multiple skin cancers.  Treating Cancer in HIV people: Till anti-HIV medication were not discovered the future for infected people was bleak. They were already sick and their bodies weak even before their cancer treatment were started. Presently the cancer treatment is mixed with anti-HIV drugs. However, depending upon the extent of cancer and the need of AIDS care, variations are made between chemotherapy and other HIV related drugs needed. Treating Kaposi's Sarcoma: Often anti-HIV drugs are enough to treat this cancer. The lesions, which are viral, shrink, as the immune system gets better. Sometimes chemotherapy and radiation may also be needed if the lesions are internal. Treating Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma: AIDS related NHL is fast growing and needs intense chemotherapy treatment. Introduction of highly active anti-retroviral therapy and use of drugs that help the infected body make new blood cells has relieved a major concern for HIV patients where previously due to their low blood cell count, chemotherapy could not be administered to them. But with these advances, acutely monitored chemotherapy treatments can be administered now. Treating Cervical Cancer: In case of women who have a good immune system and invasive cervical cancer can still be treated similarly as non-HIV women. They can even do well in surgeries and other conventional treatments. Discovering Cancer Early: Screening helps discover presence of cancer when no symptoms are evident. However AIDS defining cancers cannot be detected through screening. Thus, close monitoring, regular checkups and a keen lookout for symptoms of these cancers can help discover the ailment if present. Pap tests help discover cervical cancer in women. However, in case of HIV women, these should be undertaken more often. Even as often as 2 tests a year, 6 months apart in the first year of HIV detection. If the tests are clear, they should get Pap tests done regularly once a year henceforth. For other AIDS related cancers, the screening tests are still being devised. Lowering Cancer Risk: HIV ruins the body's immune system making it susceptible to a variety of diseases. Good health practices are a must for those detected with HIV in order to ward off cancer. They should surely not smoke or consume alcohol. Injection drugs and unsafe sexual practices also pose increased threat of cancer. Maintaining balanced diets, physical activity and proper body weight are extremely important and helpful too.
Bile block - Understanding gallbladder problemsRavi was a young intern working the night shifts in a government hospital when he was asked to examine a patient who had just been brought in. The patient was a 45-year-old, a fat man, who was complaining of pain in the right side of the abdomen along with nausea and vomiting. On inquiry it was revealed that he had eaten a very heavy fat-laden dinner. Remembering what his surgery professor had taught him about cholelithiaisis, Ravi immediately guessed what the diagnosis could be. He, however, sent the patient for a blood test and an abdominal scan. The reports confirmed Ravi’s suspicions- cholelithiasis, gallstones. The gallbladder is a tiny pear shaped organ that lies just below the liver. It is responsible for storing the bile that is produced by the liver for digesting food. It ensures the smooth outflow of the bile from the bile ducts. When the bile components aggregate in the gallbladder, they build up to form gallstones, similar to kidney stones. The gallstones are usually small enough to pass on to the intestines and be eliminated without causing too much trouble. At times, these stones may be big enough to block the outflow of the bile and give rise to a variety of symptoms depending on the size of the stone and severity of the block. The symptoms include -  Intermittent colic. A bloated sensation with constant nausea. Inability to tolerate fats. Vomiting.  Fever with chills if the stone becomes infected. Gall stones though found in both sexes, is more common in females. The risk factors for developing gallstones include - Diabetes. Organ transplant. Diseases like hemolytic anemia, sickle cell anemia. Liver cirrhosis. Failure of the gallbladder to empty properly, e.g., during pregnancy. Rapid weight and nutrition loss due to any reason. Gallstones are confirmed by a blood test to check the liver function and by an abdominal scan. Medications to dissolve the stones, and surgery in case of large stones that do not dissolve with medications, are the treatment options.
Busting misconceptions about homosexualityIn the past few years, homosexuality has become a subject of public discourse in India. Thanks to gay pride marches and the Delhi High Court's historic ruling decriminalizing same-sex intercourse in 2009, more people today are willing to accept homosexuality as normal. However, there are still a large number of people who are still confused about whether homosexuality is normal. Homosexuals are people who get attracted to people of the same gender. Gay is a term used for both male and female homosexuals, but some prefer the term 'lesbian' when it comes to women homosexuals. Some misinformed people consider homosexuality as a purely decadent western phenomenon which is far from the truth. Homosexuality finds its place in recorded history throughout the world. So is homosexuality abnormal? A few decades ago a gay person would have ended up on a psychiatrist's couch where attempts would have been made to re-orient him/her towards the heterosexuality. However, as the American Psychology Association notes, "No, lesbian, gay, and bisexual orientations are not disorders. Research has found no inherent association between any of these sexual orientations and psychopathology. Both heterosexual behavior and homosexual behavior are normal aspects of human sexuality." Some scientists are trying to find a genetic link to homosexuality. Results so far have not established a definite link. A whole lot of factors could play a role in deciding sexual orientation - genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural. One cannot safely conclude that being "gay" is in one's genes and is therefore, hereditary. Legalizing gay marriages Same-sex marriage is legally recognized in several jurisdictions within the United States. As of April 2013, nine states—Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, and Washington—as well as the District of Columbia and three Native American tribes[1]—have legalized same-sex marriage, representing 15.7% of the US population.
Reasons for skipping sexThe most important satisfaction brick in a marriage's foundation, sex is where we show the greatest trust, most openly express intimacy and make ourselves most vulnerable. It is the most personal and private area of our relationship. It is the one area that separates this relationship from all others. Yet, there are times for both husbands and wives when sex becomes a burden and not a blessing, an inconvenience instead of intimacy, and a job instead of jubilee. Curious as to why people might be skipping sex? This is only a partial list and far from exhaustive. Reasons related to your body: I have a migraine. I have a stomachache. My body is too tired. My breasts are too sore. I am too sleepy. I can't keep my eyes open. I just need to take a little nap first. Okay, but I have a rash. Okay, but I have several weird looking cold sores. Reasons related to your emotions: I am depressed. I am worried. I am sad. Cry Reasons related to your kids: The kids are still up. We might wake up the kids. I just had a baby. This baby is wearing me out. Reasons related to your experts: My therapist said I need to give myself some time. My counselor said I should create some boundaries. I have to see my Gynecologist tomorrow. The Doctor gave me these sleeping pills for stress and I just took one. Reasons related to your spouse: Who was that girl / guy you were talking to on the phone? Sex, Sex, Sex All you ever want is sex! Why can't you just hold me? You should have asked in a more romantic way! Why do you have to use such crude language? Reasons related to your weather: It's just too hot. It's just too cold. It's too humid. Reasons related to your economy: When the economy improves. When the interest rates go down. When inflation goes down Reasons related to your special circumstances: We just got back from vacation! When I lose 20 kgs. Reasons related to your friends: I need to make a call first. My friend said they only do it once a month. Reasons related to your pets: The dog can see us. The cat is on the bed. Reasons related to your finances: Okay, but first we need to talk about the bills. Why did you charge this hotel room on our credit card? Reasons related to your job or boss: I have to get up early tomorrow. I was up all night last night. I had a long day at work today. The boss just gave me a new project and I have a lot of work to do Reasons related to your religion: Doesn't the Bible warn against having too much sex. I am sorry, but I just took a vow. I am giving up sex for Lent. Reasons related to your in-laws: We are in your parent's house. I have not been able to concentrate since your mother Your parents will hear us. Offer an alternative: Can I just take care of you in the shower? Okay, but you have to drive the kids to school in the morning. Use evasive tactics: Sneak in and go to sleep early. Okay, but let's watch this movie first. It's just too late. I'll be there in a minute. (Take an hour) Can we just cuddle? I just need you to hold me. Ask a sensitive question: Did you go to the bank and make our deposit today? Have you seen the kid's report cards? Wait for your spouse to tease you and then say coldly, well, you just lost whatever you were going to get tonight.
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