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Strict parenting: When enough is enoughThe strict or authoritative style of parenting is where the parents hold their children's lives over a tight leash. Strict parents are high in control and low in nurturing qualities. They set high standards for all activities and expect strict obedience to the rules set by them. However, these parents display little or no warmth and affection. They love and affection they offer is also conditional love based on obedience and performance. Children of authoritarian parents turn out to be obedient, but this obedience is based on fear. Such parents very often use shame and guilt to make their children change their behaviour. They don't encourage verbal give-and-take and expect their orders to be obeyed without question. The children brought up in such a way are initially very obedient and polite but later all the suppressed emotions find an outlet. More often than not, such children end up being aggressive and tend to be bullies at school. Research shows that fathers who are extremely strict with their sons end up making their sons violent and aggressive, or indulge in non-physical aggressiveness like name calling. Strictly raised children have difficulty relating to their peer group. They either end up being aggressive or completely timid and submissive. At school teachers rate them as less socially competent, average or poor at studies and extra-curricular activities. They are also less accepted by their friends. The school dropout rates in such children are very high. Studies conducted on such dropouts revealed that they suffered from a huge inferiority complex and low self-esteem. Strict parenting can cause several problems in adolescence too. Children who are dominated by their parents are often found breaking the law. Alcohol and drug abuse rates are high in such children. Psychologically, these children are usually poor decision makers. Having had their parents make decisions for them all their lives, they find it very difficult to take a stand. They end up being indecisive. At the workplace too, they lack the competency to take up initiatives or show the lead. They make better team members than team leaders. Even if presented with an opportunity, they are likely to shy away from responsibility as they feel inferior and lack the requisite courage. Strict parenting can have a negative impact on the child's weight too. Studies show that an overly strict upbringing has a negative impact on weight because the children often fail to learn to eat on the basis of hunger and satiety. In such families parents use food as a reward, insist that children clean their plates, or restrict the kind or amount of food a child can eat. The studies showed that the children of authoritarian mothers were nearly five times as likely to be overweight compared to their counterparts!
Handling post retirement bluesYou have given the best years of your life to your career, and now it's time to say goodbye and get ready for the retired life. It is a phase laden with expectations of all things you were too busy to do while working - spending more time with family, going on that fishing expedition, or going on leisure trips around the world. However, despite the wonderful things to come, retirement can get unusually trying and mentally taxing. After all, how many of us really have the flexibility of mind to take this period as a challenge and be the master of our destinies? Just because you are retired doesn't mean you have to wither away and wait for death to claim you. So, here's what you can do to beat the retirement blues Catching up: This is really a bewildering time, as you have a lot of catching up to do, with a lot of things. Prioritize the things you want to do and proceed confidently. You may want to spend time with children, spouse, friends, etc. Go easy on yourself, as you may not be able to fit in as many things in your schedule all at the same time. Boost your self-esteem: Retirement is particularly trying for those who have occupied important positions in office. Such people are known to throw tantrums, as they feel less wanted than before. So don't ever make the mistake of treating your family like you treated subordinates at work. That was a role that you played then, and without reducing your importance or self-esteem you can now play a different role with your family as a friend, philosopher and guide. In fact, you can use your contacts and keep the old network alive by involving youth in your field of expertise and help them benefit from you. Catch up on exercise: The more physically fit you are the less likely that retirement will be a painful process. Perfect time for you to catch up on the fun times with your spouse to remind you of all the great times you have had all these years. If your spouse is not in the best of health then just being together is such a wonderful experience in the golden years. Financial health: Your peace of mind and self-esteem largely depend on how independent you are financially. You can take up a part time job or think of innovative ways to let your hobbies and interests generate money for you. This should be an enjoyable process by which your self-esteem can really benefit. Support groups: There are informal or formal associations of retired people that do various activities like travelling. Make yourself available to them. Sometimes retired people withdraw into a shell and that only makes things worse. These support groups give a fresh perspective on all things in life.
10 pregnancy risk factors that every pregnant woman should be aware ofFollowing are the possible risk factors for pregnant women: Hypertension: Blood pressure rises during pregnancy due to changes in osmotic level. Persistent high blood pressure leads to a condition called as pre-eclampsia. It retards the growth of the baby in the womb and can even result into death of foetus. It can lead to convulsions in mother. Exposure to medicines and drugs: Self medication is a strict NO NO during pregnancy. Certain drugs have harmful effect on the growth and development of baby. Take gynaecologist's opinion and ask a doctor before taking any medication.  Smoking: Smoking retards the growth of foetus (baby in womb). Moms who indulge in smoking give birth to babies with a very low birth weight. It also increases chances of miscarriage. Mother's weight: It is important to make sure that there is a steady weight gain during pregnancy. A weight gain of 11 kilograms is expected over a period of 9 months. Watch for a steady weight gain for a healthy pregnancy sake. Anaemia: There is an increase in blood volume during pregnancy. This can cause the iron levels to drop down resulting in anaemia. Haemorrhoids add further to the iron loss. Iron and folic acid are therefore prescribed. Haemorrhoids: Haemorrhoids are common during pregnancy and after pregnancy due to constipation which is because of hormone induced reduced motility of intestine. The pressure of gravid uterus on intestine may also cause it. Increased consumption of green leafy vegetables and laxative would relieve it. Alcohol: Drinking can cause a harmful effect on the growth and nourishment of child. Child may be born with a serious medical problem. Sexual intercourse: It's strictly not advised during last trimester. Radiation exposure: Exposure to radiotherapy or chemicals in the surrounding should be avoided. Bleeding per vagina: Consult your gynaecologist soon, if you have problem of bleeding per vagina. It could be a sign of abortion.  
Mammary duct ectasiaSigns and Symptoms In most of the cases, female patients do not have any symptom. In few cases, women may present with nipple discharge, tenderness or inflammation of the surrounding region. In some cases, there may be a lump over the breast or the nipple may get inverted. Causes Exact cause of mammary duct ectasia is unknown. But few possible cause or risk factors have been proposed by the doctors : Increasing age - Probability of developing mammary duct ectasia increases with age. With ageing, the breast changes its nature. Glandular tissue is replaced by fatty tissue. This change may lead to duct ectasia. Smoking- Milk ducts are widened due to smoking. This increases risk of inflammation which may lead to duct Ectasia. Inverted nipple - Inverted nipple obstructs the milk duct. It may lead to inflammation followed by duct ectasia. Complications Complications of duct ectasia may be may be of varying severity. They are usually minor, but sometimes become serious. Localized discomfort- Discomfort occurs due to pain and swelling around the nipple. Nipple discharge - Ectasia is frequently associated with discharge of thick and sticky fluid from nipple. Infection- Bacterial infection may develop due to stagnation of fluid in the milk duct. If it is neglected, it may lead to localized collection of pus known as abscess. Abscess requires surgical treatment. Abscess is drained surgically. Diagnosis The doctor usually diagnoses duct ectasia by clinical examination. However, few investigations may be required. Mammography- X-ray of the breast tissue is known as mammography. It helps the doctor to evaluate the breast tissue. Ultrasound- Ultrasound enables the doctor to evaluate milk ducts beneath the nipple. Treatment Duct ectasia is usually relieved by treatment. Following are the treatment options : Medications: The doctor prescribes antibiotic therapy for 10 to 14 days. It may be accompanied by mild painkillers like ibuprofen, etc. for initial few days till the remission of the disease sets in. Most of the cases are usually relieved by medications. Surgery: If duct ectasia is not controlled with medications then the doctor chooses to remove the duct ectasia surgically. Surgery is required very rarely.  Self care measures Following self-care measures often provides relief to the patients. These remedies can be adopted at home. The patient may wear a breast pad or support bra. The patient may apply warm compression to the affected region. The patient must stop smoking. The patient may be advised to sleep on the opposite side of the affected breast. Female patients should be educated regarding mammary duct ectasia so that they can detect possible symptoms of duct ectasia themselves. This will help to prevent possible complications of mammary duct ectasia and early diagnosis will provide early cure.
Activities to help your toddler talkWe understand how eager parents are to talk to their kid. They want to hear their soft voice and babble talks. So start teaching them as soon as possible to help them to speak fast and clear. Here are some activities which will help you to teach your kid to talk. The playful ways: The best way of teaching your kid to speak is to, well,play. Most of the learning is done through playing. Be a child with your child. Act playfully foolish --kids enjoy that a lot. And when the kid is happy and in playful mood, they try to talk. Building vocabulary: Use a word in more than one sentence to make them understand the meaning of the word. For example, 'The color of leaves is green' and 'Your father is wearing a green colored shirt.' If the kids hear a word used often in different sentences, it becomes a permanent part of their vocabulary. Give them practical examples: Teach them the names of the things they see around. Or get actual objects and be descriptive to teach them the name of the object and talk about the object's features. Use a toy phone: You must have seen kids trying to talk over phone to their dads or friends. They try to copy you the way you talk over phone. It can be a great way to teach them to speak. Pretend that you are talking to the kid's dad or grandparents, and pass over the phone to the kid and encourage them to chitchat over the phone. Story telling: Kids listen to the stories very carefully. Show them the pictures in the storybook and describe them with the story. Then repeat the same story the next day. Ask your child if she/he remembers what was there in the story by showing them the picture. Help them if they get stuck. Sing together with the child: Music is another amusing way to teach the child to speak. Listen to a song, sing and dance along. Encourage the child to dance and sing with you. Children are great at learning lyrics of a song. Reward the child on completing a task: When you reward the child with his/her favourite toy or snack, they understand the benefit of performing the task. And they take effort to get the reward. Ask your child to recite a poem for you, or speak a certain word or sentence and entice the child by showing him the reward he will get on completing the task.  
Stress - Even kids cannot escape!Often when we feel overwhelmed with stress, we go back in the past and reflect. We miss our golden days of childhood.We think of those days with fondness, miss the free and carefree times. We feel like becoming kids again. But the truth is that at no age are we free of stress and worries. It is just that with time, we move on to newer situations and every new stressor seems worse than the previous one. Children stress out too, some more than the others. Stressors Simple things like a test in school, a Physical Training class or poem recital could mean a lot of stress for the little ones. The desire to meet the expectations of parents or teachers also creates tremendous pressure on the children. They are eager to do well at all the times and the smallest failures can upset these kids immensely. Peer groups are difficult to manage. In childhood, the social maturity is not sufficiently developed to handle day-to-day conflicts. Trivial fights or comments from classmates and friends can lead to a long-lasting impact on the vulnerable minds. They get easily influenced by their friends. Elder siblings also play a major role. Some act as mentors, some as bullies. Some cause damage unknowingly, some are plain indifferent. Life is full of new things and childhood is a fast-track learning lesson. Every other day, there is something new a child has to do. Meet a new kid, learn a new subject, try to dodge a ball differently or ride a bicycle without side wheels; there is too much to learn. These cause anxiety and may make the child nervous. Performance pressures, technology, precocity, media influences, etc. are some of the other factors that add to the stress in childhood. Signs Watch out for subtle changes in moods and behaviour. With adults, it is easier to identify the stress and hence rectify it. But with children, it is quite a challenge. Most of the children are themselves unaware of the stress they are facing, they don't understand why they are feeling sad or angry or fearful. They are just not at ease. Inordinate crying or screaming is a common sign. Being withdrawn, aloof and quiet is another way by which kids express their tensions. Physical signs can be seen in basic physiological changes - in sleep patterns (oversleeping or inability to sleep), eating habits (not eating or eating too much), frequent aches and pains, especially digestion disturbances and headaches, etc. Managing childhood stress Pay attention to your child. Listen to what he/she is saying, but also try to listen to what he/she is not saying in words, although only in action. Help the kids open up to you, spend quality time with them and talk to them about everything under the sun. Be well connected with their school teachers and parents of their closest friends. If the need be, please don't hesitate to reach out and seek professional help from psychologists and child counsellors. "One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood." - Agatha Christie  
What is megalomania?Bertrand Russell's quote on megalomania perfectly describes the condition:"The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history." Megalomania is a delusional bipolar disorder. The sufferer believes he is an all-powerful person and that he is superior to all other people. Megalomania comes from the Greek words megalo which means large or great and mania which means madness. It is a psychopathological disorder that has delusional fantasies of power, exaggerated self esteem and a sense of omnipotence. The sufferer may believe he is God or some famous athlete. Although megalomania is a term used for power hungry people, it is clinically described under the mental disorder of narcissism. Narcissism is self-love. Though self-love is a healthy concept, narcissism is a pathological state where one loves oneself to the extent that he starts despising others. Megalomania is caused by certain phobias and mental conditions associated with emotions and personality. In everyday life, megalomania can be a person's mental way of reacting to frustration, abandonment or some serious loss. In the social world, the term megalomaniac is often synonymous with control freaks, power-drunk army generals, executives and politicians. The treatment of megalomania includes medications. The challenge here is that the person may not believe he has anything wrong with him. He, in fact, believes that he is so great that no harm can come to him, so talking him into getting himself treated is very difficult. Adolf Hitler, the German dictator, was a power-hungry control freak. He believed that he was the supreme commander and that his race was the only race suited to inhabit earth. All other races, especially Jews, were inferior and had to be wiped off the face of the earth. Adolf Hitler was megalomaniac.
Building self confidence by improving body languageSo what have they told you? That only physically attractive people have the right to self-confidence? That you either have it in you or you don't? Let's face it, confidence is the key to anything and everything. Right from driving a car to handling work to dating, confidence is what separates the proverbial wheat from the chaff. What you need to remember is that the mind speaks the body language. Conversely if you change your body language, then it has an impact on the mind as well. Mr.Hunched Over This guy is the classic example of a person who just doesn't like himself. The world is a mighty dangerous place for him. Just look at the way he walks. Shoulders all hunched over, head down as he shuffles rather than walk. Mr. Hunched Over generally finds it difficult to look people in the eye as he speaks and he last is handshake is as limp as his mind. He crosses his arms tightly, touches his nose all the time to see if it has grown since he lied through it. Mr. Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk This chap is diametrically the opposite of the first kind. He exudes an air of confidence in his walk, manner and speech. He has a confident stride which is helped by the fact that he stands to his height with his head held high, chin tucked in and shoulders squared back. This is what gives him the confidence as this posture is designed for efficiency. Mind you, he isn't ram rod straight, just straight enough so that his ears are in line with his shoulders and hips. The chest is also out since the shoulders are drawn back towards the hip. This facilitates deep, even and diaphragmatic breathing which prevents anxiety. His hand shake is firm. As he offers his hand, he exerts just the right pressure on the other person's hand to indicate a strong grip. This is no wrestling bout, so the confident man always exerts just the right kind of pressure in a hand shake.  He maintains eye contact with the person he is talking to; not a staring about, but normal eye contact, one which won't make the other person conscious of being stared at. He looks away from time to time to give his eyeballs a rest. This is why he comes across as genuine and not shift eyed and restless. To be Mr.-Or- Ms. Walk the Walk Always square your shoulders and keep your head held high when you walk. You might seem imperious or high handed at first, but then it will work wonders on your self-esteem and you will begin to feel differently about yourself. You needn't even be a tall person to come across as cool and confident-just stand up to your own height and see the miracle. Breathe slowly steadily and deeply. Use your abdominal muscles to draw in your breath rather than engaging your neck muscles which end up making you a shallow breather and plus you also tend to hunch easily if you don't feel your rib cage and stomach expand as you breathe in. Practice standing and speaking in front of the mirror. It will show you exactly how you appear to others. Practice your walk in front of a video camera and keep a record of your metamorphosis.
Fair skin - A modern obsession!History of Complexion - Complexion generally refers to the natural color, appearance, and texture of the skin, particularly on the face. Originated from the late Latin term 'complexio', complexion is traditionally referred to the temperament which was determined on the basis of the proportion of qualities of hot, wet, dry, and cold in the human body. It was believed that the body carried these qualities depending on the climate in which the individual lived. Thus, a person living in a cold climate was seen to have 'colder and moister' complexion and so on. The biological facet of complexion mentioned below tells us how the skin adapts its color according to the climate it finds itself in. Moreover, it was also seen to represent the character of the person into different categories like melancholic, choleric, sanguine, and phlegmatic. Complexion was the center which reflected the qualities which make a balanced person. Skin color is determined by the presence of pigment melanin. Located in the outer skin layer called epidermis, it is produced by cells called melanocytes. These cells contain receptors which are photosensitive and which detect the ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sun and other factors. In response to this detection, they give out melanin after exposure. The Biology of Complexion - The complexion of the body ranges from very dark brown of Africa and Aboriginal Australia to pink with yellowish hue of the Northern Europeans. In actuality, there is no skin which is black, yellow, red or white in absolute - it is generally a hue of many colors with one dominating over the other. Our biological actuality is not reflected by the words we use for our complexion these days. Skin color is determined by the presence of pigment melanin. This pigment is under the control of 6 genes. Both complexions of dark and light have melanin. Spatially located in the outer skin layer (called epidermis), it is produced by cells called melanocytes. These cells contain receptors which are photosensitive and which detect the ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sun and other factors. In response to this detection, they give out melanin after exposure. Those in tropical latitudes, where there is highest exposure to sun, have darker skin which contains melanin acting as a protective biological envelope against UV radiation. This protective layer prevents sunburns and other damages including those that could increase the risk of melanoma. The UV radiation reaching the earth increases during summers and reduces in winters. The skin adapts to this change by tanning - tanning indicates that your skin is increasing the size and amount of melanin grains to protect against the UV. Thus, your skin color is essentially determined by genetics and the geography of the place you live in. Biological Fact to Social Conclusion - We generally mold the biological fact of adaptability of our skin into a social meter of beauty. The complexion is a biological wonder of the nature which allows the skin to absorb enough vitamin D, prevent many illnesses like anemia, osteoporosis, and rickets determined by its environment. Thus, to claim that a certain skin color is superior to others is to only deny the reality of biology related to our skin and body, thus falling into the fallacy of unjustifiably jumping from a biological fact to a social conclusion. The health of your skin must be the starting point to declaring its beauty, not a presupposed social standard unrepresentative of the reality of the body. Taking Care of Your Skin - Every skin color is determined by its biological framework placed within the environmental setup. It is essential to take care of your skin to ensure that it is healthy and well taken care of : Make sure you eat a well-balanced and nutritious diet. Stay away from junk and heavily processed food items. Sleep for at least 7-8 hours daily to ensure that your skin gets enough time to recharge its mechanism. Drink loads of water to keep your skin hydrated. Go through the daily care routine: cleanse, tone, moisturize, and exfoliate. Use rose water to remove your make-up and ensure that you do not go to bed with make-up on. Keep dirt and germs away from your skin. The best way is to avoid touching your face with hands when you are out. A clean environment is the fertile ground for a healthy skin. Make sure you wash your pillows, their covers and clean the house regularly to keep away pollutants. Stress is one of the main causes of your skin's health withering. Your skin is the outer reflection of your inner mental state. Work towards mental detoxification to cheer up your skin and body.
Beating the weight loss plateauThere comes a stage when you stop losing any weight in spite of strict exercise and diet regimen. This is called as weight loss plateau. When calorie intake is reduced along with exercise, the energy required is obtained from stored fat which eventually leads to weight loss. This rate of weight loss slows down and eventually stops once body reaches its set point of metabolism. This set point varies from person to person. So what can you do next? Here are some easy ways to get the weighing scale budging: Modify diet pattern: Metabolism slows down with lowering calorie intake. To reset metabolism, you need to have an adequate amount of calories. This can be done by including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and proteins in diet. More energy is needed to burn proteins than carbohydrates or fats. Eat within half an hour or hour after exercising. Add proteins and carbohydrates to diet. Sip water: Increase total water intake in a day. Drink water before, during and after exercise and throughout the day. Change the workout: Change the exercises you do daily. Muscles get accustomed to a routine workout. Switching exercises and continually challenging helps burn more fat and build lean tissue. Change the type and time or duration of exercise. Try cycling instead of running if you have been doing it for long. Running, swimming, dancing, and Pilates too are good options. Skipping and brisk walking help in burning calories too and break the plateau. In the gym, change the exercise or number of repetitions. If you have been working on machines for long, try weight training or floor exercises. Take rest: Adequate rest is essential for the body to rejuvenate. Muscles, tendons, and ligaments get slight internal and external injuries which can be healed by rest. Proper rest helps repair and regenerate the tissue and makes them strong. Make these changes and get the needle on that weighing scale to budge.
Thyroid may make your heart flutter!Thyroid is a small gland situated in the area of neck. In Greek, thyroid means the shape of a shield. Yes, thyroid gland is vital to a variety of important body functions and does act as a shield. But what happens when the shield is disturbed and goes weak? Thyroid dysfunction is recorded in approximately one to four people out of hundred Thyroid link to heart A research study was conducted in 2009 by Weill Cornell Medical College researchers. It was done to investigate and analyze the genetic link behind rhythm control of heartbeat. They found that the genes that are responsible for synchrony and rhythm in the functioning of heart are also closely connected to the thyroid hormone synthesis and could cause dysfunction of the thyroid. Thyroid activity directly influences the metabolism, blood flow and electrical activity of the heart. When there isn't enough thyroid hormone (low levels), the patients complain of low energy levels, fatigue and reduced heart rate. On the other hand, with increased thyroid hormone levels in the blood, patients report symptoms of hyperactivity of systems. There is diarrhea, palpitations, increased heartbeats and advanced cases show arrhythmias of heart, where normal beating rhythm of heart is disturbed and becomes irregular. Thyroid hyperactivity can be appropriately controlled with regular medication. Understanding arrhythmias When the rhythm of the heart is disturbed, it becomes irregular - this is called cardiac arrhythmia. There are various types of loss of rhythm - heartbeat is too slow (that is, the cycles are taking too long to complete), too fast (the cycles are repeating too quickly), too early (that is, before a cycle is even completed, another starts), too irregular (this is called fibrillation, where no specific pattern may emerge). The patients who have arrhythmia will often come with complaints of dizziness, shortness of breath, suddenly feeling weak or lightheaded, fainting and feeling of a flutter in chest (flutter can be understood as light but quick flapping of wings by a bird). Arrhythmias are usually harmless and most people would continue to live a healthy life for years with arrhythmias. But that does not mean it can be ignored. There is a battery of tests available to diagnose and indicate the seriousness of arrhythmias and let your doctor take a call on the line of treatment. If you have a thyroid dysfunction, get your heart checked immediately. And if you have faced arrhythmias, get your thyroid checked immediately. Both the conditions are controllable and treatable; there is no cause to worry over what could go wrong. Just be vigilant and informed.
Some tips to prevent night blindnessHere are some foods and eating tips, which will help improve vision and prevent night blindness: Eat dark green leafy vegetables like spinach and collards. These contain high amount of lutein and zeaxanthin, the nutrients for healthy eyes. Do not smoke. A glass of red wine daily is fine but drinking is not. Stay away from hydrogenated oils, refined carbohydrates and sugars in excess. Always wear sunglasses while going out in bright light to avoid potential sun damage to eyes.  Amber and grey-coloured lenses are effective against ultraviolet rays. See an eye specialist and get prescription glasses for driving at night, if required. Do not ride in dim light at night and see if you can postpone the work until next day. Even good lighting conditions at night even in a big city, can be troublesome to someone with night blindness. Vitamin A rich foods like spinach, carrot, papaya, broccoli, and mangoes should be added to your daily diet. Fish oil is a great source of vitamin A. Cod-liver oil is used as medicine too. Some wild plants are said to be rich in vitamin Abut they are seasonal, available in small quantities and there isn't much known about them. Beans are another fairly common source of vitamin A. These are consumed especially during autumn. Eggs are a good source of vitamin A. Eat eggs daily. People with high cholesterol should, however, limit their egg intake. Hot pepper is contains vitamin A too, but the preservation method, sun-drying, decreases the vitamin A content. Carrots are another good source. They are high in vitamin A and arenot expensive as well.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
Sex after 40Sexual changes in normal aging after 40: Erection takes longer time Require manual stimulation, particularly by partner Erection may subside during foreplay or coitus Decreased frequency of nocturnal erection Pre-ejaculatory fluid decrease or absent Ejaculation less forceful Seminal fluid volume decreases or absent Frequency of desire for sexual release decreases with age. Aged couples learn to cope with their own sexuality. Some are happy with foreplay and self masturbation, others insist on more usually it is the male. Frequency of sexual intercourse between 20-95 years : Sexual intercourse decreases with age as the study shows. Decreased during 5year interval after 34 years Weekly frequency: 30 - 34 years 2.2%; 60 - 64 years 0.7%; 65  - 74 years 0.4%; 75 - 79 years 0.3% Do we need to change this pattern with Viagra? I would say yes - sex can be  joyful till the last days. Nobody needs to be impotent now. Home devices like rubber bands, ribbons are also used to hold the blood back in the penis when the erection is not adequate. Vacuum pump to draw blood into penis with an application of a ring after erection is also found suitable by some. Active intervention by drugs (both allopathy, ayurvedic and unani) have been successfully developed. They may be applied topically (minidoxil), inhaled (amyl nitrate) inserted into the urethral passage, injected into the corpus cavernosa or taken orally (Sildenafil, Tadalafil, etc.). Finally if all fails silastic rods can be implanted in the penis to give permanent erection. The joy of living lasts a life time.
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