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Career advice for menGetting a job these days is extremely difficult. What is even more difficult is sticking around long enough at the job. No one is indispensable, and if you don't perform well, there are hundreds more waiting to get the job! Being the bread winner, men have to face this pressure more. Here are some tips that would do you good, if followed: Cracking The Interview: The golden rule here is to be honest. The interviewers do not want to hear what will please them; So, do not try to butter them up. They are also put off by boasting . Therefore, be honest about your views and opinions. Age:wise Attitude- When you are young, and have just entered the company, it is highly advisable to observe and learn as much as you can. Find yourself a professional mentor who can guide you. Try and build on your professional presence. Be active, spend more time with your boss, be helpful to your juniors. The golden advice for all, irrespective of seniority, is to stay clear of office gossip and politics. Keep a check on the attitude: There is no need to be arrogant, and a know-it-all. Be friendly, confident, and genuine. Learn to say no: You need to have a pleasing personality. But, avoid trying to please all. Try and learn the art of saying no firmly. Too much of 'yes' will make people take you for granted, and you will find yourself overloaded with a lot of work. Do not under price yourself: If you feel that you deserve a raise, go ahead and ask for it. Do not be afraid to ask for your worth. Often at interviews, employers cancel out candidates who under price themselves, as it shows that they will probably not perform to the expected levels. Blow your trumpet: With all humility make sure you take what is rightfully yours. If you don't take credit for the work, no one will give it to you. Worse, someone else may take it! Create boundaries: Keep your work at office. Do not bring work home. Often at the outset, to please bosses, one ends up working overtime or worse, working at home. It is important to keep both the parts of your lives separate. Keep fit too: Don't let your job take a toll on your health. Working late, sitting at the same place for hours, can be harmful for the heart. Learn to unwind periodically. Setting goals is easy. What is needed is the determination to follow the rules you have set for yourself. The way to success at work is taking the ladder, one step at a time. There is no elevator here.
Absent father, violent kids!When children are growing up, they undergo a lot of hormonal changes and have varying emotional requirements. If these requirements are not fulfilled by the presence of both parents, they can develop into violent adults. Single parenting for a mother, is extremely difficult; it is simply impossible for her to fill the void left behind by an absent father. When a couple cannot live under the same roof due to major differences, they separate or get divorced. However, the requirements of the children remains the same; they still need the care and love of their mother and the support and guidance of their father, to grow up without any complications or insecurities. Children usually look up to their father as a symbol of strength and security and in his absence, they might not receive the same support and may feel inadequate and insecure. If during their childhood kids do not get the support and security that only a father can provide, they might bottle up the feelings inside; and these feelings usually explode when they grow into violent adults. A Father's Absence is Critical Due to whatever reasons, if the father is not present in the family during the most important growing periods of the kids, they have more chances of turning to crime and drugs, than the children who have a father by their side. According to a research conducted by the Research Institute of the McGill University Health Center located in Quebec, a father's absence, especially during the child's prime growing period, can lead to behavioral problems when they grow into adults. The research was carried out on mice raised only by their mothers and showed that the mice that were brought up in the absence of their fathers, were  abnormal and aggressive in their social interactions. Gabriella Gobbi, who is an author and a senior associate professor at the McGill University - Faculty of Medicine, says that even though the experiment was carried out on mice, the findings are highly relevant to the behavior of humans, under similar circumstances. Role of Fathers and Fatherhood Another research carried out by Dr. David Popenoe, a renowned sociologist, throws light on the role of fatherhood and fathers. According to Popenoe, fathers should not be treated as mere second adults in the family. Fathers, who are more involved in their family, have a certain positive impact on the children, which no other person is capable of. Fatherhood is an important responsibility and the presence of fathers in a family, directly influences the well-being of the growing children. In the absence of fathers, mothers may try their level best to provide their children with the right kind of upbringing and education. However, they might fail to give the kids the support and strength that only a father can provide. Due to this, children fail to face the challenges of life head on and are unable to handle their problems with an open mind. When a lot of emotions get bottled up inside, in most cases, they find their release in the form of violence. Sometimes, children also lack the right kind of guidance in their growing years and mothers fail to handle their changing emotional requirements, due to which these kids become increasingly frustrated and violent as they grow up.  
What to eat when you breastfeedAlmost everyone around you will advise you to eat a calorie-rich food that will aid in milk production from your body. But did you know that your body is quite capable of producing enough milk from whatever you eat? Your body has stocked up on all the fats during your pregnancy days itself. You don't really need the extra calorie rich food just to produce milk for your baby. However, how much calories you need cannot be predetermined. Let your body determine your needs. Eat as often as you want, as often as you feel hungry, but remember to eat foods that will give your body the nutrients and not just satiate the hunger. Opt for whole grains, pulses, fresh fruits, legumes, fresh vegetables and nuts. Choose natural drinks like buttermilk, coconut water, and fresh juices. Remember that the foods that you choose must nourish your body with proteins, calcium, and iron other than carbohydrates. Dried fruits and nuts like cashews and almonds and walnuts are the traditional foods given to new moms to enhance breast milk confinement. They are a very rich source of calories and definitely improve the quality and quantity of milk. However, keep a bottle of water or some juice nearby when you breastfeed. The body releases oxytocin when you breastfeed and it makes you thirsty. So, have some refreshing drink before you breastfeed. Most new moms are advised to drink lots of water as it aids in breast milk production. However, breast milk production doesn't really need extra water. It is best to avoid alcohol when you are breastfeeding. The amount of alcohol in blood and breast milk reaches its highest level about 30 minutes after you have a drink and it lowers down only after about four hours. Drinking alcohol is not advised when you breastfeed, however, if you feel like having alcohol, do so after you feed your child. Also, wait for a minimum of four hours before you feed next. Ghee is another item that new moms are encouraged to consume for milk production. However, if you are eating a balanced diet there is no real necessity to eat too much of ghee. Avoid aerated drinks, tea, and coffee while you are breastfeeding. Similarly, junk food and foods that are not cooked at home are best avoided. These types of foods fill you up, but provide no real nourishment. Herbal teas are considered safe drinks during breast feeding. However, consult your doctor before you consume any herbal medicines. Do not forget to take your prescribed supplements of iron, folic acid, and calcium regularly during breastfeeding. Your body also needs more amounts of vitamin C, vitamin B12, zinc, and vitamin A. These, you may obtain by eating foods that are rich in them or your doctor might prescribe supplements. Weight gained during pregnancy may be a concern now and you may want to lose it to regain your pre-pregnancy shape. Remember to lose weight gradually with the help of a balanced diet and moderate exercise. Do not starve yourself. Also heavy exercising may release toxins into the bloodstream and breast milk. Keep in mind that you will gain your original weight back only after your baby has completely weaned off breast milk and has started eating solid foods. Breastfeeding is the best option for your baby. It gives your baby everything that it needs and keeps it free of all diseases. Do not shy away from breast milk, do it the right way! Your body is quite capable of producing breast milk from the well-balanced diet that you eat and there is no real need for a calorie-rich food that new moms are fed.
Inspiring fitness goals for womenBeing fit comes with the benefit of enhanced mood and lowered hormonal rages. Coupled with right proportion of sleep, hydration, and a job you love, you will be nearing towards a perfect body. Goal 1: WorkOut Your Body to A Song! Make a playlist of all the songs you love and choose to execute your regime through it. Goal 2: "Be Yourself" Challenge Holistically develop your body by acknowledging what you love to do. Choose a sport that you love and join a group. If you love animals, then walk your dog which will let you lose weight and enjoy the company of pets. If painting or photography interests you, then trekking along landscapes of beauty should be your weekend getaway. Goal 3: Become the Hourglass with 1-Month Workout Regime Evaluate your body type and create a month-long regime to gradually progress towards animpeccable body shape and continue it beyond the initial 1 month. Start with small steps and do not go in for crash diets. Choose healthier snacks. Add a bit ofsleep to your daily dose in case you tend to sleep less. Begin with 15minutes of workout containing exercises recommended by your trainer to suit your body. Goal 4: Be the Health-Smart Mom! Lose the extra pounds you brought on during pregnancy and set a role model for your children. Go to the park with your children and play games with them. Pick up sports that you all can share and do together! Goal 5: The Yoga Guru Pick up yoga and start from the first step. Did you know that the initiation of anyone into the system of Yoga occurs through stage of Yama? Yama refers to the ethical principles that will guide your life while you move towards taking control of your life. The five Yamasin yoga are non-violence, truthfulness, non-stealing, celibacy, and non-possessiveness. They form the ground for your body to start on a healthy path. Move yourself towards following these principles and pick up the following asanas (body-postures) to lose weight: setu band (the bridge pose), bhekasana, dhanurasana, shalabhasana, chakki chalan, nauka chalan, and sarvangasana. A healthy lifestyle is the framework for any fitness goal. Do not go for unrealistic or transient goals. Start by making preparatory changes in your lifestyle: Lower your junk food intake, sleep adequately, drink at least two liters of water daily and hydrate your body sufficiently. Goal 6: Going Back to Nature Plan a trekking trip to your dream destination and walk your fat away. Bring back home a healthier body and a more peaceful mind. Goal 7: Master Your Body Make a journal of all activities you do in a day. The intention is to become aware of your habits that might be hurting your body unknowingly. Trace habits like binging on a snack while watching TV, sitting in a bad posture while on the desk and reading a book at a dimly lit place may be few pointers. This is a long-term challenge (4 months) to bring your body under your control through self-awareness. Goal 8: Green Regime Go for a diet which involves vegetables, fruits, and grains. Detoxify your body by being off junk food for at least two months. Goal 9: Bony to Healthy Increase your weight to become the inspiration for underweight people and guide them towards a healthy body. Goal 10: Run for the World Join marathons and runs for different social causes. Commonly known as 'Run for a Cause,' be the torchbearer to a certain cause by joining organizations that work on the same and initiating a run or marathon. This will not only prepare your body and move it towards healthy living; you will also be doing your part for the others.
Dehydration: Prevention and curePlaying outside is great for the child's physical as well mental development. But if your child has spent the entire day outside and comes back with fever, diarrhea, or vomiting, and is sweating a lot, then watch out for the signs of dehydration. What is dehydration? Dehydration means abnormal loss of water from the body, especially from illness or physical exertion. Under normal conditions we all lose some body water through sweat, urine, and tears. Kids lose large amount of water and salt from body during fever, diarrhoea, vomiting, or long hours of physical activity or exercise without any water intake. How do I know it is dehydration? If your child has any of the fever, diarrhoea, vomiting or is sweating a lot on hot days then watch for these signs: Sunken eyes Dry or sticky mouth Dark urine or lack of urine output Tiredness, lethargy, irritability or fatigue How can I prevent dehydration? The best way to prevent dehydration is to ensure the child drinks plenty of fluids when they are sick or physically active. Get your kid in the habit of drinking enough water before he/she even feels thirsty.If it is very hot, explain to the kids the benefits of drinking water frequently. If possible, avoid going out in the sun. Give your kids a well-balanced meal to be sure that they are getting all the adequate nutrients. What if my kid gets dehydrated? If the kid is below 1 year, care should be taken to breast feed the baby often. If the dehydration is due to vomiting, feed small amounts frequently for it to absorb in between the vomiting episodes. Give a spoonful of ORS solution every 10 minutes to replace the lost fluids. For kids above 1 year, start with plain water initially when the kid complains of thirst. Later the kids may need drinks containing sugar and electrolytes. Also, the child should be made to rest at home in a cool environment until the lost fluid has been replaced. Once the child is rehydrated, resume to normal routine and diet.
Teach your kid to stand up to bulliesAlmost everyone has heard of the beach bully who goes around kicking sand in the face of the skinny lad. That's the quintessential imagery associated with bullies and it has stayed with us for over 3 decades since the first ads came out. The ads generally endorsed body building products using the classic 'Before' and 'After' construct, i.e. before you got your face sandblasted by the beach bully and after you took that protein shake or muscle builder to get even. Bullying is a phenomenon where a person or group wilfully targets someone with the intention of troubling them over a specific thing. (Bullies generally pick on someone they perceive as physically, mentally, financially, socially or racially inferior.) There is no age-limit for bullies as the bully could be a school going kid with an attitude problem or a fully grown adult, who could indulge in it from sheer force of habit or due to a mental problem. Again there is no age limit for the victim as well. Anybody could really be a target for the bully menace, right from school children, teenagers, disabled or even old people. Well bullying has changed considerably in these times and you also have the e-bully version where insecure bullies go about harassing people, especially teenagers over the internet. Bullies resort to tactics like causing public humiliation or embarrassment to hapless victims or resort to threats or other control-based abusive behaviour. Ok so everyone has undergone bullying from time to time but the question is should you allow it to happen to your teenaged son or daughter? Mind you, here it isn't simply a question of some leg pulling by friends or teachers but some serious malice that could well destroy your teenager's confidence and cause permanent scars on his self-esteem. Yes, if your teenager is being subjected to bullying then teach him how to kick the sand right back in the bully's face. Before we learn how to do that let's see the types of bullying that your kid could be subjected to: Verbal bullying This includes teasing or making caustic remarks directed at someone on a regular basis. The school bully does that, doesn't he? As you would probably remember from your own school days that fat lout who made you quiver with fright as he snatched your lunch box away to feed the dogs. Yes, the very same guy who pulled your sister's pig-tails and called you names which made you go red in the face. You could do nothing but pray he wouldn't notice you somehow. Well so something similar could be happening with your teenager. Verbal bullying need not be done by a school friend. Even a responsible teacher could target someone for deprecatory remarks causing much embarrassment, ridicule andfeelings of inadequacy to a teenager. Sometimes kids look up to their teachers for encouragement and support and those very people could actually damage a child's self-esteem by unjustified criticism and bullying behaviour.Teenage girls could suffer taunts and remarks about certain physical traits and since they are at a delicate age where their bodies are undergoing changes, such verbal abuse can indeed cause long-term depression or personality issues. Physical bullying Physical bullying is where your teenager could be subjected to physical harassment at the hands of the bully. Whether it is a simple case of holding your teenager's hand or unprovoked physical assault, the end result is the same-injuries to the body and mind. The bully may not go as far as inflict any visible scars on the teenager's body but the episodes could certainly cause great fear and trauma to him. Even teenage girls are not spared physical abuse at the hands of bullies. In certain cases, teens suffering from long-term bullying actually took some extreme measures by committing suicide or breaking down completely. Internet bullying Internet bullying is where your teenager is probably most vulnerable. At least school bullying is restricted to school, but here your teenager is at the mercy of just about everyone - from the school bully to the earnest paedophile! Causing embarrassment on public forums, threats of physical or sexual harm is the most common and as a parent you have to take every step possible to not just protect your child but also help him take care of himself or herself. The bully menace The school bully is comparatively easier to deal with than the internet lout! Well, one can't be too sure of that statement either since these days,school kids are known to blow up their own classmates or participate in a heist with adult precision. Always watch out for the classic signs of bullying. If your child appears withdrawn or disturbed after school hours then gently probe and encourage your child to tell it all. If you feel there is enough reason to think your child is being subject to bullying then bring it to the notice of the school immediately as others could have similar complaints. Do not admonish your child or scold him as it could cause him to withdraw in to the shell that the bully provided him in the first place. Parents and elder siblings can be bullies too so remember that. Teach your child to stand up to bullies. The bully is generally an insecure person who uses brute force to feel good about himself, at the cost of others. The school bully generally has his way and is not used to being challenged. Teach your child to look the bully in the eye and register protest. This will go a long way in teaching your child how to fight back and not take any nonsense from others.If the situation worsens, then always keep a track of your teenager's whereabouts especially if it is a girl. Once the bully realizes that he is being tracked he generally lies low or picks on someone else. Internet bullying requires different measures. You can monitor your child's online activities and teach them to never ever share any personal information or photographs online or on forums which are off-limits for children and adolescents. You can complain to the authorities if things get out of hand. If someone repeatedly issues threats to your teenager, either online or in real life, is a cause for real concern and one must take them seriously. If your child does not learn to cope with bullies it could affect him well in to adulthood, where he will feel helpless and easily scared by imposing people or even develop a hatred for authority figures. Bullying can fuel an already weak personality in to gaining an inferiority complex; the flip side is that kids who have been subjected to bullying can repeat the same patterns on their younger siblings or at school. So a bully creates another bully if continued unchecked. Mental problems in children are on the rise, so bullying is also no longer an innocent joke but could be a serious crime. Bullies whether children or grown-ups, suffer from some personality disorder or a serious inferiority complex which makes them compulsive trouble makers and their victims are generally people who cannot hit back or are vulnerable. Take Hitler for instance. Wasn't he just a bully who was unhappy in his own life? Look what he did to millions of innocent people. Wasn't that a bully gone berserk?  
A guide to resolving commitment phobiaCommitment phobia could impact both men and women. The age-old idea of only men being commitment phobic has fallen to ground and such a fear is shared by both the genders today. The main issue of this psychological condition is that the partner involved is also traumatically affected. The initial stages of the relationship involve making the partner feel secure about the relationship by assurances and verbal confessions about future needs of a long-term companionship. This makes the person involved with the commitment phobic trusting the latter, only to be taken aback and hurt when she/he walks out at the time, to seriously and sincerely declare their relationship. One who is afraid of commitment would often have many failed emotional relationships in the past with the justification of never having found the right person. Even though you might just be the perfect match, it is possible that they would find something wrong with your lifestyle in order to justify his/her fear. There would be consistent contradiction in their declaring of love for you and the actions which might hurt or injure the trust built on basis of the verbal assurances. Cause of Commitment Phobia: The root of the fear is the need to feel in control. A commitment phobic will feel that after a point of time there is a need to withdraw from their lover in order to have an 'upper hand' in the relationship and feel in control. Such a feeling might not be conscious. While the commitment phobic is pursuing their partner, they are also keeping in mind the way to get out of the relationship. Thus, any compliment given is empty flattery, for it presupposes their exit when the time comes. They are also afraid of facing the truth of their emotions. Coming from unstable backgrounds, commitment phobic people are very lonely and afraid of pain. The parents might have had a loveless and emotionally numb relationship. There could also be instances of physical and sexual abuse apart from the mental trauma the patient goes through as a child. Bailing out is their defence against being hurt any time in the future. Thus, the only thing they are doing in the relationship is to make sure they have the power in their hands (via complimenting and making you believe in them) and to make you depend on them. Once you are dependent and look for a solid assurance of their existence in your life, they will walk out.  Due to the fear of getting hurt, no amount of emotional intimacy and efforts seem to be sufficient for them to believe in you. However, remember that it is possible to cure the condition with proper psychological and emotional support. Contrary to popular belief, both men and women suffer from commitment phobia. The root of this fear is sown during the early years of the patient's childhood and a vicious cycle arises in which the patient withholds from forming a full-fledged relationship with anyone, blaming the failures on incapacities of the partner involved. This cycle can end only with the individual effort and support of companions and lover. Treatment of Commitment Phobia: The main aim in treatment of commitment phobia is to change the way the patient thinks about relationships. If you know someone who is a commitment phobic or if you are afraid of commitment, then here are five ways to deal with it: Way 1- Accept YourselfYou are looking for a perfect partner in an ideal context. You want a long-term loving relationship, but you have experienced throughyour life that such relationships are filled with pain and assume that eventually all relationships are only bundles of pain. This is manifested by your tendency to obsessively find something wrong with your partner. You know that your partner is loving and doing everything they can to make the relationship work, even then you find something wrong with them. When you think about commitment, you feel suffocated, bored, or at danger because it would require you to let your guards down to a person, thus becoming open to being in pain again. Accept yourself. Don't distort who you are. Write down all you feel about relationships and accept it. Think about the past relationships you have had and admit that your fear has led to breaking up of many emotional relationships in the past. Way 2- Understanding Your ConditionBecome aware of what is mentally happening when you are running away from commitment. By knowing what is exactly happening when you are walking out of a relationship, you will be able to handle and help yourself well. Way 3- Find The Root of Your FearsExplore the sources for what you feel about relationships and commitment. Discover incidents in childhood which slowly disillusioned the image of loving relationships. Consider your ex-partners and admit their merits as well. By finding the root of your fears, you will be able to become aware of it when you are in the act of bailing out on a great relationship. Way 4- HypnotherapyThrough hypnotherapy, you will get to know the root of your fear. The process also involves creation of an unconscious transformation in the patient in the form of thoughts, feelings, and attitude. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Lifespan Integration are also helpful ways to treat commitment phobia. Way 5- Consciously Think About The Pros As WellThink about the loving relationships you have wanted and understand that relationships are filled with ups and downs. Every person is guarded naturally against pain and you do not have to excessively fortify your emotions. Write down all the good things about your lover. Also note down the things you find faulty about them. Then, ask yourself if your act of complaining is much like the desires your parents or closed ones might have imposed on you. Know that every person has a set of incapacities, and as long as it does not affect their love towards you, you should not be worried by it. Way 6- Imagine The UltimateIf you are not going to work on the commitment phobia, realize that you will never be able to establish the loving relationship you have always wanted. To make sure that you do not end up missing out on the wonderful experience, you have to weigh the relationship wholly. As mentioned earlier, write down both the pros and cons. Weigh your fears and decide what you feel. Way 7- Control Your Urges to Walk OutYou might be urged to leave the moment you find an imperfection in the other. Assure yourself to understand your partner. Take your time, but do not walk out. Learn to stay and work on the issues that the other might have. Way 8- CommunicateOne of the main problems that commitment phobic people have is that they do not talk about their problems, as they believe to open up about their emotions would mean to be vulnerable and to lose their power in the relationship. If your partner loves and cares about you, then open up to him/her. Let him/her know how you feel. This would prepare the other for any tough situations in the future, and you would also learn to judge and trust the other. Way 9- The Time Is NowYou might think about all the bad things in your current relationship and talk it out. However, remember that you might just be missing out on a beautiful experience because of your fear. If you want to work on your commitment issues, the time is now. Learn about your partner more and judge your relationship objectively. Be aware of any fears that arise and their source. Answer the fears rationally and do not suppress them. Slowly, talk to your partner and deal with the phobia. Way 10- Love Yourself And Build Strong RelationshipsThe first step to treating any phobia is to accept oneself and begin the process of being compassionate to oneself. Love yourself. Often, there is a fertile ground of low self-esteem boiling under the over-confidence about demerits of the other. Accept your incapacities as well as merits. Build your relationship with honesty and gradually let open the doors of your love. You do not have to suppress any of your fears. You have to confront and answer them. By communicating with your partner and remembering to receive their love without complaint, you will be able to overcome your fears completely.
Where does your happiness lie? - Importance of emotional well-beingAn emotionally well person is characterized by ability to handle and adapt to changes, to efficiently deal with stress, has a positive self-image and can take decisions independently to cater to his needs. Striving forward with a sense of purpose, an emotionally strong person has the capacity to build and sustain fruitful relationships without over-dependence. Being emotionally well does not imply that you do not experience pain and suffering. Pain and suffering is an essential part of every person's life. The strength of your emotional well-being is determined by how you look at and react to them. Those who are emotionally well can treat their adversities as opportunities to change and move ahead with greater strength. Signs of an emotionally ill person include stress, frustration, discomfort with changes, negativity in thoughts, and unreasonable paranoia about the intention of other's actions, discontent, and depression. There is also the feeling of guilt over inability to hold relationships and of not being able to keep others happy. You may also find yourself unworthy and feel that you do not deserve to be happy. Such sensation of low self-worth fuels the need to look for other ways to feel relaxed - thus, resulting in substance dependence. In cases of severe emotional ill-being, one could experience sleeplessness, hopelessness, suicidal, and uncontrollable negative thoughts. Relation between emotional and physical well-being: Emotional well-being is closely related to your physical body. They share a symbiotic relation with one another.By taking care of your body, you allow balanced production of hormones and smooth functioning of the other body parts - allowing them to respond efficiently during tough situations and also assisting the body to cope with physically challenging conditions. By being emotionally strong, you will also contribute towards faster and effective treatment of your body from illnesses. Your emotional well-being is determined by the following factors: family background, companionships, past history of relationships, sensitivity to nature and genetic dispositions. Those who come from troubled family background find it harder to associate in a healthy way with others during their adulthood. In many cases genetically, a person has greater propensity towards being emotionally weak - though this can be controlled and molded into strength by one's own actions. Depending on the type of educational institutions you attended, your companionships could be those which built your self-image positively or which hindered your capacity to take care of yourself (due to instances of bullying and teasing). Past romantic relationships also determine how you deal with your emotions in the present. Those who are sensitive to nature have been found to have greater consideration for human beings as well as non-human beings around them. Every factor is a condition which can be shaped by the efforts of the individual. Emotional well-being is primarily built on the belief that you can create your own reality by choosing your actions. How to promote your emotional well-being? Be optimistic :  Emotional and mental well-being is majorly decided by how you look at your life. Even though you have many sufferings, are you able to accept them and find ways to get through them, knowing that the good is yet to come? Flip through the inspiring stories of people around you to motivate optimism. Find your beauty : Listen to the needs of your body and do not impose your mental ideas of beauty on it. Beauty of each person is determined by their unique characteristics. Do not let the conventional standards of beauty pull you down. Know that you are unique and beauty is not necessarily an external but an inner state of mind. Stay with those who care for you : You might see the need to sacrifice your happiness for others in some instances. However, if you find yourself doing that 8 out of 10 times in any relationship, it is time to seriously reconsider how you wish to live. Is your happiness being taken for granted? Are you running this relationship because you are afraid of being alone, knowing that it is going nowhere in the future? Those who care for you will show it through their actions. The best way to love yourself is by being able to see yourself through their eyes. Take care of your body :  Get adequate sleep daily and make sure your body gets lots of nutritious food. Don't let the advertisements decide the needs of your body. Try out different cuisines and let your body tell you which one it feels is most suitable. Exercise moderately everyday by taking a walk in a green area with your loved one (Remember that the point of exercising is not only to lose weight, but to sweat away your stress daily in fun ways!) Follow your heart : Do what you love. There is nothing that could harm your emotional well-being more than doing something which you know is not right and which you do not want to do. Confucius has dropped us a fortune cookie of happiness when he said that in choosing a job you love, you will never have to work a single day of your life. Get a pet companion :  Adopt an animal and take care of it. In taking care of the pet, you will realize and gradually get in touch with yourself, becoming aware of who you are as a human being. This could be the starting point of discovering your true potentials. Volunteer at social services : Let your creativity and emotions flow by connecting to those around you. Depending on your interests, choose a type of social service - old age home, orphanage, animal shelter, being with terminally ill people, and so on. Such activities will help to positively channelize your emotions.
10 best and worst appetizersWhen you are munching on appetizers before your meal, the idea is to eat something that can trigger off the production of your digestive juices in the intestine, so that what you eat next, the food is easily digested. However sometimes, the appetizers are much more complex and heavier on your tummy and can actually reduce the metabolic activity and imbalance the digestion process. Here are some of the best and worst appetizers that are commonly served: Best Appetizers Vegetable Kababs: These highly nutritious and low calorie appetizers are a good alternative to fried items. Grilled vegetables or kababs are prepared by skewering red and green bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms and zucchinis. To add to the taste, you may brush over some low-fat herbs and even garlic marinade. Two delicious vegetable kababs, will get you only 75 calories. Crab Cakes: Seafood offers you high nutrition and the best way to include the properties of seafood in your diet, is by choosing crab cakes as appetizers since these offer only 20gms of fat and 300 calories, while providing you with a high level of sodium (960mg). Spinach Salad: The best thing about good appetizers is that they are low calorie foods and provide great flavor and satisfaction while eating. One such fulfilling appetizer, is spinach salad. You can also use other green leafy vegetables to add more nutrition to the recipe. If you eat this appetizer before your meal, chances are, you will eat 10 to 15 percent less of the main course, which is certainly a great way to cut down on the calories. A cupful of fresh salad gives you only 80 calories. Beef Skewers: If you are in the mood to pamper your taste buds, but still want to stick to eating healthy, then beef skewers is the right option for you, in the appetizers section. These are usually served with peanut sauce in restaurants. You can opt for lean beef along with soy, garlic, hoisin, onions and barbeque sauce to make this dish yourself. Quarter to the pound is the recommended serving, which consists of 5 gms of fat, 130 calories and a high sodium content of 803 mg. Stuffed Mushrooms: Potato skins are a common appetizer people go in for, but these add more calories. Instead, you should opt for stuffed mushrooms that are way more delicious. The caps of mushrooms are stuffed with breadcrumbs and the cheese of your choice; and they provide only 50 calories per cup. This means that even if you eat six stuffed mushrooms, you are still within the limit of 300 calories. The worst appetizers are deceptive yet tempting in their looks and taste. But you should always keep a check on the ingredients before gorging on them, for your own benefit. Worst Appetizers Onion Blossom: Fried onions are certainly bad for your waistline. It is always better to eat a starter stuffed with more vegetables, instead of fried things. A restaurant preparation of onion blossom consists of 161 gms of fat, 1,049 calories and around 4100 mg sodium, which is more than double the limit required by an adult, making this appetizer a completely unhealthy choice. Cheese Fries: Cheese fries are one of the worst appetizers; these can be even more overwhelming than your meal itself, which is why health experts advise not to include this appetizer in any type of menu. Sometimes cheese fries actually come with more melted cheese on top, which is obviously worse. Spinach Artichoke Dip: Although this starter starts with the word 'Spinach', it is in no way a healthy appetizer. One dip of spinach contains loads of calories-1600, fat-100 g and 2500 mg sodium. It is certainly not the spinach but the cream base that is rich in saturated fat. Potato Skins: Potato skins have all the high calorie foods such as meats, sour cream and cheese. When you take one pop of these, you will be adding 150 calories, which is quite a big number. Moreover, these appetizers are not filling. A plateful of potato skins adds 1,340 calories, 1,850 mg sodium and 94 gm fat and yet leaves you hungy. Cheeseburger Skins: Although these appetizers look small, there are loads of calories packed in them. One order of Cheeseburger skins can total up to 1270 calories, with an added 2310 mg sodium and 82 gm of fat.
Good and bad calories-How do they affect weight loss?Not all calories are bad calories. Surprisingly very few people are aware that good calories are quintessential for burning fat and can rather help you in losing weight. So, it's very important to know how to differentiate between good calories and the bad ones. What is a Calorie? In scientific terms, one calorie equals to one unit of energy. When the term calorie is being used in relation to nutrition, it means consumption of energy through what you drink and eat and use of energy for carrying physical activity. Many people think that in nutritional terminology, calories are only associated with drink and food; but the truth of the matter is that everything has energy is calories. For example, since coal provides you energy it contains calories. 7,004,684,512 calories are equal to energy produced by 1-ton of coal. Coming back to weight loss, 100 calories of fiber and protein is not similar to 100 calories of a cake. This is because there are good and bad calories and much like us humans all calories are not equal. Calories are the measuring units of energy that are produced by the food once it reaches your body. This energy works on the law of physics and hence less energy intake leads to weight loss and vice versa. Varying types of Calories Different types of food provide varying calories or energy amount to the body. The analysis of a tightly scrutinized weight loss experiment has revealed that when people of two different groups were fed the same measure of calories albeit from varying food sources, the weight loss was almost similar. However, the effects of weight loss were variable; like uncontrolled emotions, cravings, hunger and more. This happened for the same reason that some calories are good and some calories are bad. Good and bad calories Sugar is a powerhouse of energy. But if you keep on eating only sugar all day long it will be suicidal. This is because; the calories present in the sugar are devoid of any nutrients and your body cannot function without the right balance of different minerals, nutrients and vitamins. Most food not only carry calories but they also constitute a complex mixture of additives, fiber and nutrients. These mixtures of varying components directly affect the leptin hormone that controls the hunger trigger in your body. These hormones tell the body to either burn the fat or store it. The process of weight loss is made complicated by the fact that biologically our body is programmed to protect the fat stores so that they can be utilized during starvation. So, the question remain, which calories should you eat to lose weight but still keep on getting the required amount of energy? Eating lean protein, healthy fats and unrefined and unprocessed carbohydrates such as fruits, beans and vegetables are the best for losing weight. Calories with more nutrients are the best The foods that do not store fat and make us eat again and again, are the ones you should eat as good calorie food. Choosing them is simple. These are the same food that humans used to eat before processed food was invented. For example; avoid using the processed whole grains and switch over to brown rice instead of the polished white rice. Also, stone-ground whole wheat, oats or quinoa bread is much better than the white bread. Replace the processed carbohydrates from your platter with whole grains and vegetables to lose weight, control hypertension and blood sugar. Use fats derived from plant sources such as olive oil or nut oil. Eat lean protein more such as chicken and fish.
Some tips to prevent night blindnessHere are some foods and eating tips, which will help improve vision and prevent night blindness: Eat dark green leafy vegetables like spinach and collards. These contain high amount of lutein and zeaxanthin, the nutrients for healthy eyes. Do not smoke. A glass of red wine daily is fine but drinking is not. Stay away from hydrogenated oils, refined carbohydrates and sugars in excess. Always wear sunglasses while going out in bright light to avoid potential sun damage to eyes.  Amber and grey-coloured lenses are effective against ultraviolet rays. See an eye specialist and get prescription glasses for driving at night, if required. Do not ride in dim light at night and see if you can postpone the work until next day. Even good lighting conditions at night even in a big city, can be troublesome to someone with night blindness. Vitamin A rich foods like spinach, carrot, papaya, broccoli, and mangoes should be added to your daily diet. Fish oil is a great source of vitamin A. Cod-liver oil is used as medicine too. Some wild plants are said to be rich in vitamin Abut they are seasonal, available in small quantities and there isn't much known about them. Beans are another fairly common source of vitamin A. These are consumed especially during autumn. Eggs are a good source of vitamin A. Eat eggs daily. People with high cholesterol should, however, limit their egg intake. Hot pepper is contains vitamin A too, but the preservation method, sun-drying, decreases the vitamin A content. Carrots are another good source. They are high in vitamin A and arenot expensive as well.
Flash the pearliesRemember the lines from the song, Words? Smile an everlasting smile, a smile can bring you near to me.  Well, ideally, you wouldn't want your teeth to be yellow when you flash that smile. So for those who have shades of yellow on their teeth, here's how you can go back to white. It's first important to understand what causes yellowing of the teeth. Eating habits: Carbonated drinks dissolve teeth enamel. Tea, coffee and other caffeinated drink stain the teeth yellow.In addition, alcohol and cigarette smoking too can stain teeth. Tobacco chewing especially produces stains that are difficult to remove.Food rich in artificial sweeteners are harmful for teeth. They not only make the teeth yellow but also produce cavities. Chocolates, pastries, ice-creams and all such sugar-rich foods are sticky. They stick to teeth and have corroding effect on tooth enamel and dentin and cause yellow teeth, decay and toothache. Oral hygiene: Poor hygiene of oral cavity leads to stains and caries. Take good care of your teeth. Brush teeth twice. Floss them and use a mouthwash. Ageing: Gradual loss of enamel and wear and tear lead to yellow teeth. Medicines: Medicines like iron tablets, tetracycline too can lead to yellow teeth. Injury: Trauma to teeth can sometimes lead to yellowing. This is common amongst kids. Preventing yellowing of teeth Maintain a good dental hygiene. Brush twice for atleast 3-4 minutes. But be gentle while brushing teeth. Gargle every time after you eat.This removes the leftover food particles and keeps the teeth clean. Avoid use of local powders or corrosive substances. They damage enamel. Fruits like apple, cucumber, and carrot act like cleansing agents and keep teeth clean. Fruits like sweet lime are rich in vitamin C and help to keep gums and teeth healthy.
Is sex linked to self esteem?Man is a curious creature, full of quirks and contradictions. Sexual intercourse, something that most people consider an intimate and private experience, is spoken about in hushed tones and often, with some discomfort. We don't reveal or talk about our sexual desires, as readily we discuss our salary packages or food habits. This is quite ironic seeing how sex is an important gauge for a person's self esteem and also an indicator of his/her social desirability. The very thing that we do under covers, we somehow choose to "keep under cover". The Link between Sex and Self Esteem: Self esteem is an important factor that determines the mental & physical well-being of an individual. All of us have a craving to be understood, liked and appreciated; and these form the equivalent of our basic needs on the inverted pyramid- Food, clothing and shelter. For a human being to flourish and prosper, consumable food, without the mental food of appreciation, is not enough; and sexual intercourse or an intimacy with the opposite sex, is one way of validating that need. Sex therefore, ceases to be just a physical need instilled by nature for the perpetuation of the species, but goes into the larger emotional cum psychological dimension of self actualization and realization. Though some of us might be embarrassed to broach the topic of 'whether or not we are getting enough', the truth is that every human seeks to achieve his sexual potential, even while he or she might, not be aware of it. Most of us have the ability to get the foods matching our taste preferences onto our plates, but with sex, this could be a little difficult, since sex, is a complex subject with a lot of social, moral and religious links. The truth is evident in the number of marriages (the very cornerstones of civil society) that fail on the basis of sexual compatibility, either by setting unrealistic sexual expectations or by not owning up to, or even identifying, one's sexual needs. This has repercussions on the psyche and self-esteem of a person, and this is especially true in the case of men in particular, as they may feel completely inferior for not being able to attract a sexual partner matching his desires. In some people, this also leads to a case of self-loathing, for having sexual needs which a partner doesn't understand, or much worse, needs which are considered taboo and sinful (Homosexuality, Anal Sex, Group Sex, Fetishes, etc.) These complex emotions can wreak  havoc on a person's self-esteem, by creating severe internal conflicts and serious self-doubts. Now socially, sex can either liberate a person, or hold him prisoner. At times, the unfulfilled needs may get repressed and banished to the shadows, only to be played out later, in the form of sexual adventurism and crime. Just one look at the sexual crimes in our society today, and we can clearly understand just how healthy our collective self esteem is! The very society that frowns upon prostitution, is actually responsible for creating it, though everybody would like to pretend otherwise. The crux of the matter is that "sex" and "self esteem" are closely related; and one should not shy away from addressing any issues one might face regarding one's sexuality. Physical love is necessary for the survival of a relationship and one needs to make time and efforts to successfully create one's own sexual space. The positive effects of a good sex life can be seen in an increased work productivity, fewer illnesses and an increase in one's overall efficiency. Some people are haunted by sexual guilt and confusion and when they keep it all locked up, they suffer from unexplained physical pains and feel 'down in the dumps' mentally. Another problem with appreciation from the opposite sex, is the addiction to  external validation. Some people feel utterly worthless until they receive positive feedback about their looks or abilities on a regular basis. This can be downright devastating, as in these cases, there is a great dependence on external factors for one to feel good. While no one denies the "feel good factor" of sexual appreciation, it is up to each one of us, to decide just how much of control one must be giving to external factors, to determine our personal self-esteem. The appreciation may be theirs, but the esteem is entirely of the self and only the self can decide how much of appreciation and sex is enough.
What Is slowing down your sex driveBeing sleep deprived can lower the levels of sex hormones in your body. Are you feeling dull lately and wondering what happened to your sex drive? May be, the stressors in your life are also creeping on to your bed. Find out some of causes that could be the reason behind this. Lack of sleep: Hectic work and busy life takes a toll on everybody. The first hit is your sleep - the hours go down, the quality reduces and the effects are insufficient. Sleeping six hours or less can push down the levels of testosterone in the body. Testosterone is the hormone that influences sex drive for both men and women. Though it is primarily a male hormone, it is also present in small quantities in all women and drives their sexual desires. Emotional problems: Stress, tensions, depressions, irritability, anger are negative emotions that lower the sex drive. Try not to bring the work pressures home. Marital problems or relationship issues may be hampering your bond with the spouse. Weight gain: Being overweight makes you lazy, tires you easy and decreases your self-confidence, especially in bed. When someone is not comfortable with his/her body image, it affects their sex drive. The pill: If the wife is on the contraceptive pills. The period of ovulation is the time in a menstrual cycle when there is a surge of testosterone in a woman's body. During this period, she experiences a strong sexual desire. The pills regulate the hormonal activity and reduce the sex drive to some extent. Alcohol: If you are feeling a little tipsy, be prepared to pass out and fall in deep sleep as you hit the bed. No scope for sex drive here. In the long run, increased consumption of alcohol can affect erections and make you generally dull. Diabetes Mellitus: Uncontrolled high blood sugar levels lead to impotence in men and dryness of the vagina in women. It also increases the risk for urinary infections. This results in lowered sex drive. Medicines: Some medicines like the anti-allergic ones and the antidepressants reduce the sex drive. Don't let complications of life affect the intimacy in your relationship.
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