Q Hi Doctors, We are married for about 9 months ( April 2012) and I have observed that my wife does the following with over emphasis on neatness : 1) She has the habit of washing her hands very frequently/repeatedly for everything and expects me also to do the same for each and everything. If I dont obey to her, she gets angry if I touch the things at the home and says that I am not clean/tidy. 2) We reside in NY, USA and the temperatures in the winters fall upto -10 to -20 . She takes bath for 2 times a day( even if it is 1 in the night) and insists me on doing the same. If I dont take bath in the evening, she does not allows me have to physical relationship. If she goes to toilet after taking bath in the night she does not want to have physical relationship. 3) She forces me to take bath whenever I go to motion even if it is in the middle of the night. Once I was suffering from loose motion and she insisted on me taking bath even if I was weak. Or she would not allow me to sit on sofa or sleep on our beds. I have learnt from talking to her that she does not sit on Western toilet for urination she does it in standing position. 4) We recently visited hospital twice for yearly check ups( blood and urine samples), she washed all our clothes( Dresses, Jackets and everything we wore to hospital) both times after coming back from hospital. She says that is the correct practice and I dont know anything about neatness and I am untidy. 5) If someone visits our house, she cleans everything they sit on( sofa, bed) or touched with wet wipes after they leave. 6) She also has lot of anxiety and gets upset if something does not go her way and says she is very tensed even for very small things. I have mentioned here only some few points I could mention to you. I face lot of other such situations in daily life with her. If I dont do what ever she says on neatness she gets upset and picks up fight with me. I dont have an option of taking her to doctor and explaining these things. Can you please suggest if her behavior is ok or if not what can i do to convince her and get it treated. Thanks for your valuable suggestions. Thanks, Kumar
The behaviour of your wife is not at all normal. She has obsessive compulsion disorder. It is an anxiety disorder. Your wife needs a psychiatric treatment. Consult a psychiatrist.